Wow. This is a lot of wisdom. I actually recently just broke a girl’s heart. I crossed boundaries. Made promises. Failed God in many ways. I needed this.
The problem is, most guys don’t wanna come off as creepy or overbearing. I would never say that to someone unless I knew them. Me personally, I just tell girls that I wanna get to know them because that’s really what my intention is. I don’t know if I wanna marry them without really knowing who they really are. It’s hard for me to understand what a woman’s intentions are when it comes to marriage and that’s why you date them to figure that part out. However, I do agree that you should communicate your intentions as they are. And let’s be real, most women understand when you ask them out one on one. It usually means you’re asking them out on a date. I don’t think you need to tell them this, because most women understand what it is.
I have made it a point to use the word "date" when asking people out, and the one time I didnt, she misunderstood my intention. On the flipside, I suspect several of the no's I've received have misunderstood what I meant by "date"(like they put a lot more meaning into it than I intended)
It means you clearly say that you would like to marry someday and have children or whatever. Because nowadays lots of people will recoil just hearing that so you might as well filter them out early
Yeah I’d never tell them outright I have the goal for marriage in the first date. Maybe it could be hinted at in a sideline conversation talking about goals but not directly hit her with that. That can be very heavy and confrontational. It’s not rocket science, you’re getting to know the person.
This video is really for me, I am in a stage where I am trying to get to know someone. I really don't know what to do if what should we do. This helps a lot to give clarity on what we truly are.
I really appreciate how straight forward you are. When you said that avoiding honesty is a sign of cowardice, I really felt that. I avoid honesty because it scares me, but I can't let fear stop me from being a godly man.
Keep this up. Love the ministry. My dad runs one Wednesday nights for men here in Colorado. If you are ever here we’d love to have you visit it. This is great stuff man. Helps me out a lot and I know there are so many more men out there who would say the same.
The day a guy says this would be mind blowing! I also havnt voiced what i wanted. I just assumed we all wanted a relationship which we all did just again i ignored lots of red flags 😢
You will get there one day Bridgette. God knows what is within your heart, and he is already preparing something for you, you just don't know it yet. Who knows. Maybe the next time you go to the well to get some water, you will come across some camels that need some water.
My father's brother Benjamin, you shall not escape supportive comments here. Thanks for displaying Christ-pilled epicness, even through the hard times recently.
My life is proof men struggle to approach women. I feel bad for y'all! 36 and never been on a date 😂 Been praying for a godly guy for twenty years and gotten the "I cant believe youre single comment so many times." Never once had a Christian guy say he'd like to get to know me better. But I get it... Its rough out here for us all
Am 30 and never been on a date or kissed a girl so your not alone man i stopped caring to even approach or communicate with women since all they care about is attention and validation and their own ego but never really approached women anyway since in the past i tried so many times with many different types of women only to get the phrase “ i just like you a friend” thing so yeah after so many times i gave up was also on dating apps in the past and never got anywhere i also have tried meeting people in person but guess im not relationship material
Becky, I am sorry to inform you that the time for high standards for you is gone. This is the "settle" period of life for people of your age. Sure, you can still find love, but men want things from a woman you will struggle to provide, if even at all. Posterity. It's statistically unsafe for both you and the baby now. As someone who came out when my parents waited too long and have all sorts of problems, I know for one that I will not put a woman in danger of herself or my child when chances of the baby coming out all sorts of messed up are higher. There's a reason the average age gap is older man to younger women and not the other way around. The time to get married was 10-15 years ago. I get that standards for marriage have changed. I even understand wanting a Christian man, but you made the mistake (judging by the comment) of waiting for Godly men to come to you. You go to them. Men are done pursuing women. It never ends well for us.
Do you think some of this goes both ways? I recently decided to step away from a girl because of some things she was doing that she wasn't honest with me about. Now watching this video I can see that she struggled with some of these things with me like when I tried to create depth in conversation I could kinda tell she was holding something back from me. Idk I know I wasn't perfect either in it, but from my own experience I think it's important for both sides to put in some effort with some of these things. curious on others thoughts as well. edit: a little more context I felt was important to add is that "thing" she was doing was hanging out with her ex one on one behind my back, and whenever I asked about anything that would possibly involve telling me that she was with her ex she would leave that part out. I don't want to be bad mouthing her because I know there's a lot of other stuff happening in her life, but despite that it didn't feel great to find out about that.
If you two were intentional about getting to know one another in pursuit of a relationship, then I think her meeting her ex is not honouring that. Additionally, she was meeting him one on one. I do not know her character, so I can not say her intentions were bad, but meeting anyone of the opposite sex one on one is a general no-go as a Christian. Meeting an ex, someone whom she had a soultie with, is a recipe for disaster. It's unnecessary and deceptive from the limited understanding I'm gaining from what you said. If it was for something important, she should have told you, but she is purposefully omitting information regarding that. Pray about it, ask God to direct you to His word so you can discern what is going on, and make sure to ask Him to reveal the ways you need to improve. I'm praying over you, brother. Shalom😊
@ yea I’ve talked with some of my mentors about it who are a little closer to the situation and I’ve decided to step away and look for someone else. Thank you for your comment helps me not feel like I’ve overreacted or something. God bless.
This is such a solid video! I have a question for you guys - as a girl, there's a guy in church who I'm interested in and I found out at church a few days ago, he's also interested in me. He's on the shyer side, but I also have learnt that I am also being led to being more proactive, in the sense of expressing my interest. I plan to just talk to him when I next see him - any advice for questions I could ask him to really get to know him better and love him well as my brother in Christ? I am worried about conversation flow and that it would just be awkward.
Hi! That's a great question! Idk if this would help but I think you should just be yourself and talk to him. If you guys have common interests and topics to talk about then that's a great starting ground. If not, maybe he isn't the best match for you. I truly believe that the basis for any thriving relationship is friendship because ultimately that will be your anchor for your relationship. That means being able to express yourself freely around that person. By trying to talk to him, you are evaluating for yourself if he has the same vibe as you and if you see yourself being able to be friends with him. So in my opinion, just talking to him without a facade and being true to yourself is the most appropriate way to approach this. One of the biggest trap in a rs is to over-romanticise it. Good luck!
I'm going to contradict something that someone else in here has said, but I think I would advise against blatantly telling him that you are interested in him. I would suggest making an effort to go out of your way to interact with him if the two of you are in a situation like at a college, where you see each other frequently. I've been talking to a wonderful sister of ours and the way I realized she was probably interested in me, in the same way I was her, was by noticing that she was going out of her way to interact with me, even if it was something small and short, especially if the setting was public, but no one else was around, leaving just the two of us, such as the both of us "just happening" to write our papers in the same common room. That led to some great conversations between the two of us. With all that said, this is merely my personal experience, so perhaps it might be better to be more forward, especially if you think you're being led to be more proactive. Above all, ask for the LORD to give you wisdom regarding this (also regarding everything, but in some ways that's beside the point right now), for he promises to give it to those who ask. Furthermore, find wise counselors in your life, for "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in the abundance of counselors there is safety." Proverbs 11:14 Whatever happens, keep your eyes on the LORD and trust in him. He arrays the lilies of the fields in finer clothing than Solomon in all of his glory. Likewise, he provides food for the little sparrows of the air, though they do not sow seeds in the spring in order to reap crops in the fall and store the surplus in barns for the winter. These are mere plants and animals. You are created in the image of God, so how much more will he provide for you? Sorry for the short essay, May the LORD bless you and keep you!
I'd say approach him and try to be friendly with him. Do something small like try and talk about what you all just learned in church, and do a reflection on it (I recommend sitting close to him not directly beside him, such that you two can naturally turn towards each other and have that conversation). Maybe convince him to join a Bible study group with you or something. Just find ways to be more comfortable around each other, and naturally he will be more willing to open up to you. Believe me, it will be a bit awkward at first, but if it is true, God will see y'all through it.
A Christian girl that is beautiful and liked her and known her from childhood. And she rejected me. Told me I will always be like an older brother to her. I didn't show her that I wanted a relationship. I shouldve let her know. Maybe wouldnt' get rejected.
Once you set boundaries as a man, you either get harrassed by women for having standards or those boundaries are immediately disrespected. Whether to see how well you handle disobedience or to test your patience, it matters not. So when you meet a woman who doesn't do this, if you have the incredible fortune of finding one, you tend to be surprised. I stopped looking after the drama became too much to handle. I don't want to have to handle women. Have some self-control for once.
Bottom line is in order to stop being passive, you have to give a crap. I tried dating a little bit after a break up, but I wasn’t ready. I could tell. I didn’t put the energy into it and I didn’t care. Just wasn’t working for me. When you’re ready, you are ready.
Thank you for this video. I definitely appreciate the tips from it. While I am not dating, I am in a close relationship with a female friend, and I can definitely use some of your suggestions to help me in my friendship with her, and prepare my heart for if we do take things further.
Hey about the timeline thing. There can be a culture that can shove you into a six month dating then marriage. Guys can be swept away into this and shove the doubts down for the expectations of their parents or other people who want to see things their way. So sometimes the timeline that is set is longer than you want or even than the people around you want so that you actually make sure you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. Yes set a timeline but be careful not to fall prey to the unrealistic expectations of others.
Why do girls ghost you? I got ghosted after a girl said I was slow at replying and didn’t think I was interested. And I explained I’m really busy at work, and can’t have my phone with me as that’s their policy. Spoke a little after that and then got ignored. What can I do? What did I do wrong?
Be grateful, the type of woman that ghosts someone especially cause they didn’t reply because they were working is not someone you want to be with. You did nothing wrong and she did you a favor.
Unless you were taking days to reply to a message her being upset at you not replying fast enough is an issue with her being overly anxious and it would be a sign that if you weren't a relationship with this girl that she would have even more strict and controlling things she would expect you to do. I don't know your full stories situation or background but if you see a pattern of constantly attracting women that act like her in your life it is important to examine your energy and how you carry yourself because what you put out is what you attract.
these replies are all good! you don't want someone who is not living their life for God first and foremost! A sure sign of that is when they need you to do specific things at specific times. they have too much time on their hands and they're filling it with you, not God and His work for them. A relationship like that, is exhausting and draining and not what a Christian wants. We want to live our life fully in the joy of the Lord and someone else that does that, will compliment that! You will enjoy the time you do get together to the fullest and never be demanding or too needy. You will encourage each other to keep living for God and true fulfillment will define your relationship! Praise the Lord!
I’m in a my first relationship with a girl but I don’t have a ton of guidance on this situation in my life. I’ve been watching the channel for a while. What are some greats tips when dating??
- Set boundaries, and find a couple at your church whom you respiect and seem to have a healthy marriage to get advice from if you can. - My church does pre-engagement counseling (pretty much pre-marital counseling, but earlier), that way you can work through some issues that might end up being deal breakers before you are so invested that you've bought a ring and said you will marry each other (don't do that until you've been dating at least 6-9 months and are still liking the idea of marrying them, though). - Do not talk about your future together. Don't talk about what your kids would be like/what you would name them or fantasize about what it will be like 10 years from now. DO evaluate whether this person is someone you could be with 10 years from now, but don't go imagining that future and thereby setting your heart on it because that's how you lose focus on the current situation and make bad decisions based on an imagined reality (basically, don't view her as a wife when she's just a girlfriend). - Honestly, just go read "Not Yet Married". Everyone should read it regardless of whether they are single, dating, or, yes, married. It's a fantastic book.
I thought this way for a while. 1 Timothy 5:2 says they are your sisters and mothers, so treat them as such. TK's Meaning of Marriage says we should try to be friends beforehand, he actually says his now wife rebuked him saying to clarify the relationship or she was leaving. We don't have a clear ritual for meeting a spouse nowadays. Women also get scared of direct asks because I guess it seems like a huge commitment now. Take things slow, but intend on marriage and don't be afraid to marry quickly. There is no perfect person.
I feel like I have plenty of female friends. Sometimes if there is interest and it doesn’t look like it’ll go anywhere, we just stay friends. From both sides.
@@theuserofdoom That works because you are no longer interested in dating those women. But if you were still crushing on those ladies the friendship wouldn't work. It's not that men and women can't be friends. It's that men can't be friends with women they want to date/marry. 😎
My ex broke up with me just before Christmas. Only a month before, I told her she was the one. Only a week before she said she loved me so much. After 1.5 years together. She admitted she was dating another, and we haven’t spoken since. And she goes around like nothing happened. I can’t eat or sleep, I feel empty and cold all the time. I just don’t understand why anyone would do that? Especially how much we had been through.
I had a similar experience. No infidelity (that I know of), but we were seeing one another almost every day, happily did things for one another most couples don't bother with. It was well communicated we were going to get married and I was planning a proposal on her birthday in a couple months. We had a trip planned to go out of town together at the end of the week. Had a discussion a couple days before, and disagreed on some things. Next day I meet her for an afternoon together and she tells me it's not going to work out. Cut off all communication, deleted what little social media she had, friends and family (who loved me) wouldn't even respond to my messages and calls. It was like she vanished off the face of the earth. I'm just left with a million questions, and my heart is in a million more pieces. I know just what you mean when you say you don't understand, and especially after going through so much together. There's just no sense or logic to it. One strange and wrong decision and now two people are left wounded for life...just.why?
I seem to misunderstand a point you were making: When we date with clear intention to figure out, if we would want to marry the other, isn't the emotional capability to help manage each others feelings in times of need a necessary part to figure out, that would be neglected to some sorts, if we are strict in keeping up the emotional boundaries you stated?
You have to be careful with emotional things. We want someone who is stable in the Lord. And goes to Him first and foremost when in need. When you are married, I believe that will be when you begin to learn to lean on them emotionally, because then it's safe to and when it should be happening. But before marriage, it leads to idolatry too easily. God is our first and foremost in our life. When guys are trying to push marriage too quickly or are emotionally unstable and very demanding on me for their "happiness", it's a huge red flag that he is not depending on the Lord. He is depending on me. I run. I can never be someone's God. Only God can :)
@jenniferwalsh1731 I really liked your comment. There is an Orthodox priest named father Moses who made a video about this, and I think he's right, (even though he's Orthodox). The way I understand it is like we are all buckets, and us men need to be close to God so he can pour into us, and we need to pour ourselves and whatever God gave us into our wives, and then our wives can pour it into our children. Obviously that doesn't mean that only women can raise kids but you get the idea. Your wife can help you from time to time, especially if it is something like a death in the family, but you need to be with God, because you shouldn't make your wife your therapist. As men we are supposed to be the foundation and rock of the family, and we need to be strong ourselves with God so that others can rely on us.
While I plan on marrying my girlfriend, it’s not something I would at all do right now, I’ve been through previous relationships and abandonments and I take a very long time to trust someone especially with something as serious as marriage. Is it relationship trauma? Yes. Is it a form of baggage? Yes. But those are the cards I’ve been played in life, and now I have to deal with it. I really don’t want to enter into a marriage with someone that I can’t trust completely. And really you can never trust someone completely, because humans are not to be trusted, but that’s besides the point. I want to have a record with someone that shows they have a willingness to fight for a relationship whether things are going well or bad. I don’t want a person who will jump ship as soon as things are difficult.
Hello! I got into a relationship with a wonderful Christian girl a few months ago and things are going great! However, I am commenting because I’m curious if you could possibly make a video on how to take lead in hanging out. That’s a loaded question, but I guess what I mean is how do I come up with stuff for us to do? It’s not something I struggle with every time we’re together, but more than I’d like. Any suggestions?
I don't see the words "dating, boyfriend, or girlfriend" in the Bible, so they're not in my vocabulary. If I like a girl, I let her know I am interested in marrying her right from the start. If she backs away, I can easily tell the Lord didn't send her 😎 It worked for Isaac & Rebekah!
@Supreme_Lobster aww you poor pharisee, are you really struggling that hard with where to draw the line? I'll make it simple; you can use modern thingies, but don't follow modern cultural norms. Enjoy your iPhone, but continue arranged marriages. Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your MIND, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Remember the time the Bible is written, back then things were very different in many aspects and it's also impossible to include every scenario in a book.
@@ItsRaitisLV Romans 12:2 "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will."
Nah, women don’t like that. A woman asked me what I wanted at a singles events and I told her I’m looking for a girlfriend and wife. She said you can’t say that. It makes you sound needy. Also women say it ‘feels like” you’re trying to get too serious too soon even after 2-3 dates. Also, when I was dealing with church women the church encouraged ‘’group dates”. As I’m not looking to date her friends or group I’m always like nope. These people aren’t going to be involved in our marriage either. Sometimes girls say when you ask them out “but I don’t know you” ummm, that’s what the date is for 🤷🏽♂️
It really does seem like Christian women don't know what they're doing. If it's too serious then it implies that they want something casual. But casual usually doesn't lead to anything concrete like people hope for. Then they wonder why they're still single.... And exactly as you said. The date is just to get to know you. It's not like you'll get married minutes into sipping the coffee cup.
@ They also had married singles pastors over the single adults ministry and people would say “how you telling us to be patient and wait on the Lord when you’re married and get to do things with your wife” The pastor was divorced and never preached about marriage or encouraged it at church
She was not looking for something serious, but that doesn't mean all Christian women aren't. When I started being interested in a man, I stated since the very beginning I was looking for marriage, for faithfulness and seeking Christ together, not a fun time. I know my Church female friends who are now dating did the same. Just pray for a Godly woman prepared with a Godly vision, and now focus on trusting, seeking God and becoming a Godly man for Christ, and for your future wife.
21 y/o guy here and i need you to adress a question i have. I recently started talking to a girl, told her i liked her and that i want to get to know her more. Now, I have a problem with resisting masturbation, trying to quit or at least reduce it, but i wonder: Is it a good idea to talk about this with a the person you're dating? Will it be destructive to the relationship to bring your sexual sin to the conversation? And if you should talk about it, when?
You don’t know this girl like that brother, don’t start talking to her about beating your meat 😂 she’s gonna get freaked out. Pray on it, if it bothers you in your spirit then pray on it and ask for such temptations to be kept from you and strength that you resist it.
But isn't it kind of too early to make those decisions about someone you just meet so quickly until you had a chance to get to know them Yes that would be a good idea to verbalize what your intentions are from jump Street now that I agree with you Make it clear to him or her that way you have no confusion
What if you just can't get girls you always get rejected after talking for months even going on a date but get rejected at the end even though you are really good friends who match
Hold up, "talking for months"? Sounds like you're beating around the bush, trying to be friends first and then hoping it will somehow turn into a relationship. Let her know your intentions early on. As the man, you're supposed to lead; if you lead, she'll follow. Take initiative, don't sit around waiting for things to happen, MAKE things happen. (in an unrelated note, some punctuation would be appreciated)
If you keep getting rejected might need to improve yourself and just stay away and ignore women they are a waste of time and resources anyways make money and improve yourself without the headache
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Wow. This is a lot of wisdom. I actually recently just broke a girl’s heart. I crossed boundaries. Made promises. Failed God in many ways. I needed this.
The problem is, most guys don’t wanna come off as creepy or overbearing. I would never say that to someone unless I knew them.
Me personally, I just tell girls that I wanna get to know them because that’s really what my intention is. I don’t know if I wanna marry them without really knowing who they really are. It’s hard for me to understand what a woman’s intentions are when it comes to marriage and that’s why you date them to figure that part out. However, I do agree that you should communicate your intentions as they are. And let’s be real, most women understand when you ask them out one on one. It usually means you’re asking them out on a date. I don’t think you need to tell them this, because most women understand what it is.
I have made it a point to use the word "date" when asking people out, and the one time I didnt, she misunderstood my intention. On the flipside, I suspect several of the no's I've received have misunderstood what I meant by "date"(like they put a lot more meaning into it than I intended)
It means you clearly say that you would like to marry someday and have children or whatever. Because nowadays lots of people will recoil just hearing that so you might as well filter them out early
Yeah I’d never tell them outright I have the goal for marriage in the first date. Maybe it could be hinted at in a sideline conversation talking about goals but not directly hit her with that. That can be very heavy and confrontational. It’s not rocket science, you’re getting to know the person.
This video is really for me, I am in a stage where I am trying to get to know someone. I really don't know what to do if what should we do. This helps a lot to give clarity on what we truly are.
I really appreciate how straight forward you are. When you said that avoiding honesty is a sign of cowardice, I really felt that. I avoid honesty because it scares me, but I can't let fear stop me from being a godly man.
Keep this up. Love the ministry. My dad runs one Wednesday nights for men here in Colorado. If you are ever here we’d love to have you visit it. This is great stuff man. Helps me out a lot and I know there are so many more men out there who would say the same.
Where in Colorado ?
@@chicoperez7677 Eaton
That is awesome! up here in Manitoba Canada but would love to visit sometime!
@@men_on_mission that would be awesome!!
The day a guy says this would be mind blowing! I also havnt voiced what i wanted. I just assumed we all wanted a relationship which we all did just again i ignored lots of red flags 😢
But thanks again for the great videos !!! I hope to find my future husband one day !
You will get there one day Bridgette. God knows what is within your heart, and he is already preparing something for you, you just don't know it yet.
Who knows. Maybe the next time you go to the well to get some water, you will come across some camels that need some water.
Wow, I am shocked to see someone, much less a woman, admit to making such a crucial mistake.
Thank you so much for touching on the topics that aren't getting talked about enough! Your insight is extremely wise and helpful.
Sigma tutorial
Sigma indeed brother
Okay, this is epic.
Truly a tutorial of all time
My father's brother Benjamin, you shall not escape supportive comments here. Thanks for displaying Christ-pilled epicness, even through the hard times recently.
Good stuff! Be clear! Be truthful!
Bro's rocking the Jesus haircut 🔥
I screamed😂😂😂
I thought the same thing when I first started watching Daily Disciple a couple of years ago.
It's a really cool cut. Unfortunately more conservative churches condemn this style of hair 🙁
Jesus didn’t have long hair
😂😂😂😂😂
His feed, not mine 🙏🏻😭
😂😂😂 too real
Hey dear friend 🌺
This video is amazing, especially since you got right to the point with a straightforward explanation.
Bro spitting facts! Thank you for the content
My life is proof men struggle to approach women. I feel bad for y'all! 36 and never been on a date 😂 Been praying for a godly guy for twenty years and gotten the "I cant believe youre single comment so many times." Never once had a Christian guy say he'd like to get to know me better. But I get it... Its rough out here for us all
Am 30 and never been on a date or kissed a girl so your not alone man i stopped caring to even approach or communicate with women since all they care about is attention and validation and their own ego but never really approached women anyway since in the past i tried so many times with many different types of women only to get the phrase “ i just like you a friend” thing so yeah after so many times i gave up was also on dating apps in the past and never got anywhere i also have tried meeting people in person but guess im not relationship material
@davidordaz5251 Sorry to hear that! Every situation is complicated and unique IMO. I don't think all women only care about the same things.
I'm a Christian guy lol
I'm 31, email?
Becky, I am sorry to inform you that the time for high standards for you is gone. This is the "settle" period of life for people of your age. Sure, you can still find love, but men want things from a woman you will struggle to provide, if even at all. Posterity. It's statistically unsafe for both you and the baby now. As someone who came out when my parents waited too long and have all sorts of problems, I know for one that I will not put a woman in danger of herself or my child when chances of the baby coming out all sorts of messed up are higher. There's a reason the average age gap is older man to younger women and not the other way around.
The time to get married was 10-15 years ago. I get that standards for marriage have changed. I even understand wanting a Christian man, but you made the mistake (judging by the comment) of waiting for Godly men to come to you. You go to them. Men are done pursuing women. It never ends well for us.
@@svenolsen8184 weird comment considering the guy above you is five years younger and just asked for my email 🤣
Do you think some of this goes both ways? I recently decided to step away from a girl because of some things she was doing that she wasn't honest with me about. Now watching this video I can see that she struggled with some of these things with me like when I tried to create depth in conversation I could kinda tell she was holding something back from me. Idk I know I wasn't perfect either in it, but from my own experience I think it's important for both sides to put in some effort with some of these things. curious on others thoughts as well.
edit: a little more context I felt was important to add is that "thing" she was doing was hanging out with her ex one on one behind my back, and whenever I asked about anything that would possibly involve telling me that she was with her ex she would leave that part out. I don't want to be bad mouthing her because I know there's a lot of other stuff happening in her life, but despite that it didn't feel great to find out about that.
If you two were intentional about getting to know one another in pursuit of a relationship, then I think her meeting her ex is not honouring that.
Additionally, she was meeting him one on one. I do not know her character, so I can not say her intentions were bad, but meeting anyone of the opposite sex one on one is a general no-go as a Christian.
Meeting an ex, someone whom she had a soultie with, is a recipe for disaster. It's unnecessary and deceptive from the limited understanding I'm gaining from what you said.
If it was for something important, she should have told you, but she is purposefully omitting information regarding that. Pray about it, ask God to direct you to His word so you can discern what is going on, and make sure to ask Him to reveal the ways you need to improve. I'm praying over you, brother. Shalom😊
@ yea I’ve talked with some of my mentors about it who are a little closer to the situation and I’ve decided to step away and look for someone else. Thank you for your comment helps me not feel like I’ve overreacted or something. God bless.
This is such a solid video!
I have a question for you guys - as a girl, there's a guy in church who I'm interested in and I found out at church a few days ago, he's also interested in me. He's on the shyer side, but I also have learnt that I am also being led to being more proactive, in the sense of expressing my interest.
I plan to just talk to him when I next see him - any advice for questions I could ask him to really get to know him better and love him well as my brother in Christ? I am worried about conversation flow and that it would just be awkward.
Hi! That's a great question! Idk if this would help but I think you should just be yourself and talk to him. If you guys have common interests and topics to talk about then that's a great starting ground. If not, maybe he isn't the best match for you. I truly believe that the basis for any thriving relationship is friendship because ultimately that will be your anchor for your relationship. That means being able to express yourself freely around that person. By trying to talk to him, you are evaluating for yourself if he has the same vibe as you and if you see yourself being able to be friends with him. So in my opinion, just talking to him without a facade and being true to yourself is the most appropriate way to approach this. One of the biggest trap in a rs is to over-romanticise it.
Good luck!
Tell him that you’re interested in him and want to get to know him!
I'm going to contradict something that someone else in here has said, but I think I would advise against blatantly telling him that you are interested in him. I would suggest making an effort to go out of your way to interact with him if the two of you are in a situation like at a college, where you see each other frequently. I've been talking to a wonderful sister of ours and the way I realized she was probably interested in me, in the same way I was her, was by noticing that she was going out of her way to interact with me, even if it was something small and short, especially if the setting was public, but no one else was around, leaving just the two of us, such as the both of us "just happening" to write our papers in the same common room. That led to some great conversations between the two of us.
With all that said, this is merely my personal experience, so perhaps it might be better to be more forward, especially if you think you're being led to be more proactive. Above all, ask for the LORD to give you wisdom regarding this (also regarding everything, but in some ways that's beside the point right now), for he promises to give it to those who ask. Furthermore, find wise counselors in your life, for "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in the abundance of counselors there is safety." Proverbs 11:14
Whatever happens, keep your eyes on the LORD and trust in him. He arrays the lilies of the fields in finer clothing than Solomon in all of his glory. Likewise, he provides food for the little sparrows of the air, though they do not sow seeds in the spring in order to reap crops in the fall and store the surplus in barns for the winter. These are mere plants and animals. You are created in the image of God, so how much more will he provide for you?
Sorry for the short essay,
May the LORD bless you and keep you!
I'd say approach him and try to be friendly with him. Do something small like try and talk about what you all just learned in church, and do a reflection on it (I recommend sitting close to him not directly beside him, such that you two can naturally turn towards each other and have that conversation). Maybe convince him to join a Bible study group with you or something. Just find ways to be more comfortable around each other, and naturally he will be more willing to open up to you.
Believe me, it will be a bit awkward at first, but if it is true, God will see y'all through it.
A Christian girl that is beautiful and liked her and known her from childhood. And she rejected me. Told me I will always be like an older brother to her. I didn't show her that I wanted a relationship. I shouldve let her know. Maybe wouldnt' get rejected.
Once you set boundaries as a man, you either get harrassed by women for having standards or those boundaries are immediately disrespected. Whether to see how well you handle disobedience or to test your patience, it matters not. So when you meet a woman who doesn't do this, if you have the incredible fortune of finding one, you tend to be surprised. I stopped looking after the drama became too much to handle. I don't want to have to handle women. Have some self-control for once.
Thanks for helping us ladies ❤🎉❤
Hey beautiful ❤
Bro's rocking the Jesus haircut💯
Good content! Gives me stuff to think about...
Bottom line is in order to stop being passive, you have to give a crap. I tried dating a little bit after a break up, but I wasn’t ready. I could tell. I didn’t put the energy into it and I didn’t care. Just wasn’t working for me. When you’re ready, you are ready.
Great message! Also your talking voice sounds like Ross from friends 😂
Thank you for this video. I definitely appreciate the tips from it. While I am not dating, I am in a close relationship with a female friend, and I can definitely use some of your suggestions to help me in my friendship with her, and prepare my heart for if we do take things further.
Hey about the timeline thing. There can be a culture that can shove you into a six month dating then marriage. Guys can be swept away into this and shove the doubts down for the expectations of their parents or other people who want to see things their way. So sometimes the timeline that is set is longer than you want or even than the people around you want so that you actually make sure you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. Yes set a timeline but be careful not to fall prey to the unrealistic expectations of others.
3:20 reminds me of Matthew 5:37, let your yes be yes and your no be no!
You look and sound exactly like an old friend/roommate/coworker of mine, I'm having a hard time figuring out if you're actually him lol
Thank you for these videos
Why do girls ghost you?
I got ghosted after a girl said I was slow at replying and didn’t think I was interested.
And I explained I’m really busy at work, and can’t have my phone with me as that’s their policy.
Spoke a little after that and then got ignored.
What can I do?
What did I do wrong?
You didn't do anything wrong. Keep trying though. You will get rejected more often than not. Don't take anything personally.
Be grateful, the type of woman that ghosts someone especially cause they didn’t reply because they were working is not someone you want to be with. You did nothing wrong and she did you a favor.
Unless you were taking days to reply to a message her being upset at you not replying fast enough is an issue with her being overly anxious and it would be a sign that if you weren't a relationship with this girl that she would have even more strict and controlling things she would expect you to do. I don't know your full stories situation or background but if you see a pattern of constantly attracting women that act like her in your life it is important to examine your energy and how you carry yourself because what you put out is what you attract.
That wasn’t the woman God wants you to be with. If it is in Gods will for you to be married He will bring you into your life
these replies are all good! you don't want someone who is not living their life for God first and foremost! A sure sign of that is when they need you to do specific things at specific times. they have too much time on their hands and they're filling it with you, not God and His work for them. A relationship like that, is exhausting and draining and not what a Christian wants. We want to live our life fully in the joy of the Lord and someone else that does that, will compliment that! You will enjoy the time you do get together to the fullest and never be demanding or too needy. You will encourage each other to keep living for God and true fulfillment will define your relationship! Praise the Lord!
I’m in a my first relationship with a girl but I don’t have a ton of guidance on this situation in my life. I’ve been watching the channel for a while. What are some greats tips when dating??
- Set boundaries, and find a couple at your church whom you respiect and seem to have a healthy marriage to get advice from if you can.
- My church does pre-engagement counseling (pretty much pre-marital counseling, but earlier), that way you can work through some issues that might end up being deal breakers before you are so invested that you've bought a ring and said you will marry each other (don't do that until you've been dating at least 6-9 months and are still liking the idea of marrying them, though).
- Do not talk about your future together. Don't talk about what your kids would be like/what you would name them or fantasize about what it will be like 10 years from now. DO evaluate whether this person is someone you could be with 10 years from now, but don't go imagining that future and thereby setting your heart on it because that's how you lose focus on the current situation and make bad decisions based on an imagined reality (basically, don't view her as a wife when she's just a girlfriend).
- Honestly, just go read "Not Yet Married". Everyone should read it regardless of whether they are single, dating, or, yes, married. It's a fantastic book.
Great advice!
great video
I've finally come to the conclusion no female friends because if the man is romantically interested but she isn't run dude run
I thought this way for a while. 1 Timothy 5:2 says they are your sisters and mothers, so treat them as such. TK's Meaning of Marriage says we should try to be friends beforehand, he actually says his now wife rebuked him saying to clarify the relationship or she was leaving. We don't have a clear ritual for meeting a spouse nowadays. Women also get scared of direct asks because I guess it seems like a huge commitment now. Take things slow, but intend on marriage and don't be afraid to marry quickly. There is no perfect person.
Correct. Never be friends with somebody you want to date. The relationship has to be on the same level for both people. 😎
I feel like I have plenty of female friends. Sometimes if there is interest and it doesn’t look like it’ll go anywhere, we just stay friends. From both sides.
@@theuserofdoom That works because you are no longer interested in dating those women. But if you were still crushing on those ladies the friendship wouldn't work. It's not that men and women can't be friends. It's that men can't be friends with women they want to date/marry. 😎
My ex broke up with me just before Christmas.
Only a month before, I told her she was the one.
Only a week before she said she loved me so much.
After 1.5 years together.
She admitted she was dating another, and we haven’t spoken since.
And she goes around like nothing happened.
I can’t eat or sleep, I feel empty and cold all the time.
I just don’t understand why anyone would do that?
Especially how much we had been through.
im sorry brother, Roman 8:28. God has a better plan for you
I’m sorry this happened to you brother. Seek the Lord’s love and healing. It may be hard to do so
Damn man. There’s a better one out there. Go get her.
I had a similar experience. No infidelity (that I know of), but we were seeing one another almost every day, happily did things for one another most couples don't bother with. It was well communicated we were going to get married and I was planning a proposal on her birthday in a couple months.
We had a trip planned to go out of town together at the end of the week. Had a discussion a couple days before, and disagreed on some things. Next day I meet her for an afternoon together and she tells me it's not going to work out.
Cut off all communication, deleted what little social media she had, friends and family (who loved me) wouldn't even respond to my messages and calls. It was like she vanished off the face of the earth.
I'm just left with a million questions, and my heart is in a million more pieces. I know just what you mean when you say you don't understand, and especially after going through so much together. There's just no sense or logic to it. One strange and wrong decision and now two people are left wounded for life...just.why?
😢 very sorry but it's all good. She missed out. You're a good one.
I seem to misunderstand a point you were making: When we date with clear intention to figure out, if we would want to marry the other, isn't the emotional capability to help manage each others feelings in times of need a necessary part to figure out, that would be neglected to some sorts, if we are strict in keeping up the emotional boundaries you stated?
You have to be careful with emotional things. We want someone who is stable in the Lord. And goes to Him first and foremost when in need. When you are married, I believe that will be when you begin to learn to lean on them emotionally, because then it's safe to and when it should be happening. But before marriage, it leads to idolatry too easily. God is our first and foremost in our life. When guys are trying to push marriage too quickly or are emotionally unstable and very demanding on me for their "happiness", it's a huge red flag that he is not depending on the Lord. He is depending on me. I run. I can never be someone's God. Only God can :)
@jenniferwalsh1731 I really liked your comment. There is an Orthodox priest named father Moses who made a video about this, and I think he's right, (even though he's Orthodox). The way I understand it is like we are all buckets, and us men need to be close to God so he can pour into us, and we need to pour ourselves and whatever God gave us into our wives, and then our wives can pour it into our children. Obviously that doesn't mean that only women can raise kids but you get the idea. Your wife can help you from time to time, especially if it is something like a death in the family, but you need to be with God, because you shouldn't make your wife your therapist. As men we are supposed to be the foundation and rock of the family, and we need to be strong ourselves with God so that others can rely on us.
@@jenniferwalsh1731 Thank you for your insight! It helped me understand. :)
Can you talk more about emotional boundaries.. Physical boundaries pros and cons and spirituality boundaries
“101 Questions To Ask Before getting Engaged.”
Step 1
Step 2 questions during engagement
Step 3 questions in marriage
While I plan on marrying my girlfriend, it’s not something I would at all do right now, I’ve been through previous relationships and abandonments and I take a very long time to trust someone especially with something as serious as marriage. Is it relationship trauma? Yes. Is it a form of baggage? Yes. But those are the cards I’ve been played in life, and now I have to deal with it. I really don’t want to enter into a marriage with someone that I can’t trust completely. And really you can never trust someone completely, because humans are not to be trusted, but that’s besides the point. I want to have a record with someone that shows they have a willingness to fight for a relationship whether things are going well or bad. I don’t want a person who will jump ship as soon as things are difficult.
Can you talk more about this? I haven’t been in a relationship before and don’t want to fall into these mistakes when I do get into one.
Hello! I got into a relationship with a wonderful Christian girl a few months ago and things are going great! However, I am commenting because I’m curious if you could possibly make a video on how to take lead in hanging out. That’s a loaded question, but I guess what I mean is how do I come up with stuff for us to do? It’s not something I struggle with every time we’re together, but more than I’d like. Any suggestions?
I don't see the words "dating, boyfriend, or girlfriend" in the Bible, so they're not in my vocabulary. If I like a girl, I let her know I am interested in marrying her right from the start. If she backs away, I can easily tell the Lord didn't send her 😎
It worked for Isaac & Rebekah!
Vocabulary is also not in the Bible
"iPhone" is not in the Bible. Neither is "TH-cam".
@Supreme_Lobster aww you poor pharisee, are you really struggling that hard with where to draw the line? I'll make it simple; you can use modern thingies, but don't follow modern cultural norms. Enjoy your iPhone, but continue arranged marriages.
Romans 12:2
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your MIND, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Remember the time the Bible is written, back then things were very different in many aspects and it's also impossible to include every scenario in a book.
@@ItsRaitisLV Romans 12:2 "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will."
Nah, women don’t like that. A woman asked me what I wanted at a singles events and I told her I’m looking for a girlfriend and wife. She said you can’t say that. It makes you sound needy. Also women say it ‘feels like” you’re trying to get too serious too soon even after 2-3 dates. Also, when I was dealing with church women the church encouraged ‘’group dates”. As I’m not looking to date her friends or group I’m always like nope. These people aren’t going to be involved in our marriage either. Sometimes girls say when you ask them out “but I don’t know you” ummm, that’s what the date is for 🤷🏽♂️
It really does seem like Christian women don't know what they're doing. If it's too serious then it implies that they want something casual. But casual usually doesn't lead to anything concrete like people hope for. Then they wonder why they're still single....
And exactly as you said. The date is just to get to know you. It's not like you'll get married minutes into sipping the coffee cup.
@ They also had married singles pastors over the single adults ministry and people would say “how you telling us to be patient and wait on the Lord when you’re married and get to do things with your wife” The pastor was divorced and never preached about marriage or encouraged it at church
Women are really messed up these days. 😎
She was not looking for something serious, but that doesn't mean all Christian women aren't.
When I started being interested in a man, I stated since the very beginning I was looking for marriage, for faithfulness and seeking Christ together, not a fun time. I know my Church female friends who are now dating did the same.
Just pray for a Godly woman prepared with a Godly vision, and now focus on trusting, seeking God and becoming a Godly man for Christ, and for your future wife.
You're really growing that hair out
21 y/o guy here and i need you to adress a question i have. I recently started talking to a girl, told her i liked her and that i want to get to know her more. Now, I have a problem with resisting masturbation, trying to quit or at least reduce it, but i wonder: Is it a good idea to talk about this with a the person you're dating? Will it be destructive to the relationship to bring your sexual sin to the conversation? And if you should talk about it, when?
Don't bring it up or at least still comfortable with one another
I think this is something you should only keep between yourself and God as only God has the power to heal our sinful nature.
Go to confession and not to her
You don’t know this girl like that brother, don’t start talking to her about beating your meat 😂 she’s gonna get freaked out. Pray on it, if it bothers you in your spirit then pray on it and ask for such temptations to be kept from you and strength that you resist it.
But isn't it kind of too early to make those decisions about someone you just meet so quickly until you had a chance to get to know them Yes that would be a good idea to verbalize what your intentions are from jump Street now that I agree with you Make it clear to him or her that way you have no confusion
What if you just can't get girls you always get rejected after talking for months even going on a date but get rejected at the end even though you are really good friends who match
I’ve also had a lot of Ls man but it just takes one W, trust God
Keep going. I get it, it may seem hopeless, but God WILL provide you someone. Just give him that control.
Hold up, "talking for months"? Sounds like you're beating around the bush, trying to be friends first and then hoping it will somehow turn into a relationship. Let her know your intentions early on. As the man, you're supposed to lead; if you lead, she'll follow. Take initiative, don't sit around waiting for things to happen, MAKE things happen.
(in an unrelated note, some punctuation would be appreciated)
If you keep getting rejected might need to improve yourself and just stay away and ignore women they are a waste of time and resources anyways make money and improve yourself without the headache
@@rickswordfire4774it feels weird though, won’t you get a bad rep for basically cycling though all the girls at church or whatever?
🚀🎯
💜💜💙💙
Do you have kids?
Cut your hair dude
Why if I may ask...
No. Go full Jesus mode