I couldn't end up monetizing this video bc of the music I wanted to use, so any bit of help would be so so appreciated to grow this video's audience - I think amongst a sea of upbeat, action-packed gap year videos on youtube, it's also important to have a video dedicated to the uncertain feelings, the loneliness, and the guilt and self-doubt - I hope this is that video, and that what I'm trying to say seeped through :)
I just graduated high school and I’m starting my gap year. Everytime I told people I would do a gap year, they look worried and tell me it’s a waste of time. I’ll do my own thing anyways but it does make me nervous and I’m setting high expectations for myself. Im doing this bc I don’t really know what I want to do in the future. I want to take this year to try all sorts of things and perhaps find a passion or something I enjoy doing or even start a big project. I want to experience life and find myself, find a path to follow. I hope this year will be fruitful and I hope I’ll find myself at the end of it.
I am nearing the end of my gap year. And I think this rosy picture of the gap year that's painted all over the internet puts a huge pressure on all of us to achieve and try out everything because we won't get this year again ( also why not). Even if we aren't influenced by the "ideal gap year" everyone talks about, we still have expectations from ourselves. So, everytime we fail to live upto those expectations, guilt sets in (couldn't agree more on self-induced stress & stage 5). Gap year is what you make of it. It can be a period of realisations and reflection but at the same time also be about adventures. Love how you show your gap year journey without any filters!
I'm glad you like it :') I was deciding between this and a darker moodier look (like the thumbnail) but decided to go more vintage because i like ~grain~
I'm on my gap year at the moment and it is the best decision I've made for MYSELF based on MY NEEDS. I needed a break. I initially received many comments like "what you're taking a gap year during covid" and "aren't you worried about falling behind?" which then turned into "I wish i took a gap year" further down the conversation. I wanted to be with no regrets. So I asked myself before taking a gap year do I want to be saying "I wish i took a gap year" OR do i want to be saying "I made the right decision by taking a gap year." The freedom of working, saving and exploring all my interests that I never had the time or chance to try out previously has been rewarding. Self development and growth as the focus of my gap year has definitely allowed me to understand myself a lot better. This gap year has arguably put me way ahead of my peers who felt pressured to follow a linear path into college or wherever (to no fault of their own) and thus struggle to find a sense of purpose in what they're doing. I'm hopeful they'll find their way though. I hope i do too as I will begin college next year...except now with purpose and intent. If you're considering a gap year, ask yourself "is it WHAT I NEED" and "does it make sense for me." And before commencing always plan out what and how you intend to spend it. All the best !
hey, Chloe! don't know if you'll read this, but your Oxford videos helped me raise my TSA grade from low-20s to 70+ in less than a month. since then, i've watched some of your videos and found them immensely helpful but also -- as i've come to realise -- really intimidating. it came to the point where i was actively avoiding your videos in my feed because they were forcing me to confront my shortcomings and made me feel inadequate. here you are, a 20yo doing so many outstanding things, and i'm 22 and bracing to enter a second bachelor's degree -- not a single business venture in sight, a 86k word manuscript gathering dust, and a high school education that feels more like a stressful, empty blur than anything else. this video made me realise just how much you have struggled and that maybe i can strive to emulate your success in certain domains in a healthier way. wishing you all the best! - Rick
i think it's so precious that you decided to upload this video. of course for us, but also for yourself. it's actually quite poetic that i can watch this, on a monday evening at 8:41pm on the 17th january 2022, with just my lamplight on and munching on cherries, indulging in thoughts you captured on a camera and microphone, posted on the 21st april 2021. and that i can relate to your feelings so much, and the way you feel, the way you perceive things, even though i've never had a gap year and i haven't begun college yet. i hope you're doing well and are enjoying the life you're living right now :)
It’s crazy to me how, as individual as we all are, this set of stages is so widely unanimous. I’ve experienced these five stages within the past three months of my gap semester from college, and it is so interesting and strangely comforting to see my own story told through the lens of another!
I deeply respect your bravery in showing this side of your experience, it really isn't easy. As a viewer, I can certainly see that you've come out as a stronger person💪🏻.
Thank you for sharing this. As an adult who is experiencing my own career gap year, the part where you said people “glamorize gap year” is so relative. I am inspired to share my own story as well.
This makes me rarely scared. I’m truthfully scared of adulthood. I’m working a lot for becoming a international student and my expectations of life outside and being alone is something that I expect, but mental health and being alone is something that scares me a lot at the same time or being away from my family. This is a punch of reality for me but definitely worth to watch.
Thank you for this. I was forced to take a break from school due to burn out caused my really bad mental health... I wish I had found this video sooner in my gap, but I'm happy to see this and see some things that I've learned and am learning.
I may be late to comment but I had tears in my eyes watching this video. I experienced and am experiencing these emotions and literally everything you said. And although, I haven’t taken a gap year, I relate to you in everything and I thank you for uploading this. Thank you so much.
Thank you for sharing your journey and being so thoughtful and detailed. I'm thinking about taking a gap year (I'm a senior) but I have a lot of anxiety about it, whether it's the right thing to do or not. This video helped a lot! Your voice is pretty calming too.
Your content always feels so relatable because they present the side that is not so "glamorous" and "exciting", which can rarely be seen on youtube. It's a brave thing to do, and thank you so much for sharing your true thoughts. The aesthetic though, 11/10!!!
This was so great. I am a senior in high school and have been feeling a lot like what you described in the video lately. It was amazing realizing that there are other people like me.
I'm currently struggling to learn how to live with myself and try to find who I am. This video really touched me, so thank you for showing your vulnerability and overall journey. I hope to reach this level of self acceptance someday
it’s definitely a constant struggle!! No matter how hard it is or meaningless it seems at least you’re moving forward!! ♡ let’s work on it together heh
thank you so much for sharing this. i'm also currently taking a gap year because the school year took a toll on me, mentally and emotionally. i'm currently living in the philippines but i grew up in singapore. i really miss it back there and the lifestyle i had, but i knew i needed to get used to being back in the country i was born in. it's been 2 years yet i still couldn't do it. everyday i miss my friends and my dad, who stayed back in singapore because of his work. he called recently telling me that we have to talk about my future soon and i'm absolutely terrified because i have no idea what i wanted to do. i knew that i didn't want to go back to the previous course i took. i feel like my life is currently at a standstill, like i'm in limbo. i have no passions, no hobbies, nothing. your video really helped me gain more perspective about what i should be doing during my gap year, so i just wanted to thank you for sharing this
EVERYONE listen up - put this video on, open a text file on your device and start free writing NOW. WITH THIS IN THE BACKgROUND. She talks about so many things, that gave me so many tangential ideas about what I can do with my time (gap year) related/unrelated to my career. Just things that'll keep me....willing to live on? I suggest you do the same. Don't worry about grammar, typos, changing lines or anything. Just put this on and start pouring your thoughts. Even if that thought is "I don't know why I'm doing this". TRUST ME ON THIS -- You'll look back, filter out the garbage and there will be a new perspective for you.
I truly appreciate you sharing your personal experience about your gap year! I am currently taking a gap year before pursuing my PhD next fall, and I have experienced many faucets of mental and physical exhaustion as you, as well as those "spark" moments. I needed this because now I know I am not alone through this transition of my life. I'm truly moved by your gap year experience. By the way, your voice is very soothing and calm. I love the way you tell a story. Your novel will turn out great! I actually have a desire to write a memoir, but I'm scared and don't quite know my voice and style nor the first thing about writing a book. Good luck to you in all your current and future endeavors!
Sounds like a great learning experience. Congrats. I'm really happy to hear you took a gap year to go through this. It's literally what I tell all my mentees. I myself experienced the same thing you did, but never thought a gap year was an option, and drove my life completely off the tracks in my 3rd and 4th year, and didn't go through your journey until after college, which was at a much greater opportunity cost. Best regards
i love everything about this video! i took a gap year during college this year as well, abruptly because of the pandemic and i feel a lot of similar things as you. i made a video about my gap year too and it also started out in a place of fear and stress. this really inspires me to document more of my journey as well, and be more vulnerable and transparent. excited to see where you go!
The editing in this is phenomenal. You have such a powerful and intelligent way with words - I'm sure your book will be equally gripping! It's so refreshing to hear an honest gap year video. You seem to have grown so much over the past year. Truly loved it, excellent job! 👍
Chloe thank you for this. I genuinely love your take and outlook on life. I'm about to graduate high school and watching your videos always puts me a little more at ease. thank you for showing me I'm not alone, and for being so vulnerable. You're amazing, and I know you'll accomplish and experience incredible things in your life! Anyway, enjoy the rest of your day or night!
Thank you. No words can express how I felt through this pandemic though my situation with school differs slightly all these emotions I’ve felt through my ‘gap year’ The positivity of this video is helping me a lot in the toxic family situation I’m in rn. Keep making these great videos and fighting!
I'm currently on a gap year right now,, trying to find a new path and just trying to figure out what i want to do with my life...This video really resonated with me on another level. It feels like you are explaining exactly what's going on in my head...Thank you for your hard work and efforts - this video really made my day :)
Chloe, I cannot tell you how much I relate to this video. I'm currently on a gap year and it's been such a mix of highs and lows and learning more about myself- you highlighted this so well! I'm glad you took a different approach to reflecting on your gap year. I watched so many videos from Jade about her gap year and I love her so much, but I did struggle with feeling like I was wasting my time staying home instead of traveling and accomplishing more. Thank you so much for making this video and letting me know I'm not alone. I'm currently writing a "recommended gap year videos to watch" blog post for a website with some other gap year people from my college. This video will be the first one on the list :)
missed most of the premiere but the parts that i did get to see were very insightful and intriguing, especially for someone who is considering taking a gap year... thank you for sharing your story and im off to rewatch the beginning :D
finished! your reflections are so well-versed and the videography is immaculate, and i really appreciate your exhibition of the weightier side of a gap year experience. its definitely helping me with my decision!
It felt like ... sometimes it's better to appreciate yourself, your work and give time to yourself.. I certainly admire your videos, they are different...they speak the unspoken inner side. Thanks Chloe ❤️💜
It's so striking to me how methodical and strategic you are about everything you tackle. At the same time it was so moving to hear about your personal journey and lessons in this one. 💖 Take care! You're going to be all right.
Thanks Chloe for sharing. Now I'm gonna tell a little bit of my story too, so some folks out there know they're not alone. I'm 18 and currently on a gap year after I finished highschool. I had a plan of participating in this yearly exam to enter one of the state universities in my country. But I decided to not, cus I know my mental health was deteriorating. I had really given it some thought, again and again, to just give what I can give, to not push myself too hard, but you know what? In that kind of state, I couldn't do ANYTHING right. Anything. So to conclude it, mental health is like the base, the foundation. When it's not firm, it's not well-built, it's not strong, whatever you build on top of it will not sustain well. This is what I do after many days of uncontrollable fear and constant headache that made me felt like dying. I stopped doing what's right according to my standard. I say to myself, "Even if this is wrong, I'm still gonna do it, for the sake of me." I needed a lot of time. It's rly way too complicated to be described. My advice for you guys, really, just stop with the expectation. Whatever the shit that you're worried about other people telling you. After all THE ONE who's gonna live your life and face all of its shitty things is JUST YOU. When something happens it's you facing it, not them. So take care of your mental health. Live your life according to your way, responsibly ofc.
Hey Chloe, fun fact I took a gap year during the same time period as you too!! Can’t say it enough but the value of a gap year is not discussed about enough! Your raw expression of a gap year has inspired me to recap my own gap year, to really express my gap year using my own words to describe this gift that I never knew before.
I feel like I just watched a cinematic netflix short and its clear how much effort you put into these videos. I don't really know what to say so I'm just gonna say that we stannn a queen of editing :D
just completed my senior year and so, i'm supposed to be off college but i can't mentally handle the online setting (covid-situation is still vv bad in our country) and i feel scared to repeat what happened to my gr12 school year .... so i decided to do a gap year tho i feel a little lost right now esp my mom seemed to not understand my situation for some reason :( thank you for this video
It's really amazing how you could actually put your thoughts and feelings into words and share them with others. I truly agree with you that a gap year (or a gap semester) is when you can take a step backward and get to know yourself much better :)
This is such a beautiful video (aesthetically and... otherwise[?]) I really emphasize with what you say about texting, needing a break after social highs, and the stages you went through on your gap year - especially as I’m on one myself. Thank you so much for making this video ☺️😍
Hey, this is a lot. And it might be TMI. It's the summer after my senior year in high school, and I just sat down for 14:50 minutes and listened to someone accurately describe my high school life, so I'm a little in shock. Except, I've always been an introvert - barely spoke at all as a child. I chose to take a gap year because of burnt out, that I haven't been able to fully come back from. God put you on my TH-cam recommendations because I really needed to hear this. I'm currently binging gap year videos. I've never had my rough experiences during highschool, self-induced stress (which did lead to depression for a couple of years, and insomnia explain clearly to me. I've tried to say it out loud to myself to validate my experiences because I couldn't relate to those around me, and no one could understand. Especially the part about staying up. I started staying up for school near the end of 7th grade. There was a difficult bio final. When I was done studying, it was 5 am, and I didn't notice. I got the highest mark. So the next few years, I used staying up as a strategy. It was something I took pride in too. As the pressure increased, my mental health went downhill until I noticed I was drinking unhealthy amounts of coffee to keep myself up, because it would take me longer to study - couldn't focus or sleep because of anxiety. I turned into a zombie. I kept staying up even when didn't really need to because normal day-to-day life became unbearable and so did school, though I loved learning. I need that time when everyone else was asleep when I could feel like I'm in control of what I do now, how I spend my time. Even if it was hurting me and I desperately needed sleep - I needed a certain amount of control over my life more. After searching the internet for advice and also resorting to prayer - there came quarantine and covid lol. It was an awful time for the world but quarantine stopped time like I desperately needed time to be stopped. Other very specific and oddly convenient things I couldn't think to ask for or expect also happened. Learned two things as I very slowly got better, 1) I'm definitely gonna keep praying, despite what I thought about it in the past - I've experienced too much when I was desperate for anything that I dropped everything and came to Him for help to just shrug it off now, so I'm going to look into that. 2) I'm never putting school before my mental health again, no matter how urgent it seems at the moment - I hope I stick to this. It's my second year in North America, apart from family. I spent the last two years trying to sort myself out and catching up on years of sleep without sacrificing too much of the grades that I worked so hard for. That didn't work and I had to choose - though really it was barely a choice. This may sound very exaggerated but I nursed myself back to health - and I still am. I'm getting help with my anxiety. I went from being 1st in my class all year in 9th grade to barely making it through senior year. Burnout is no joke. I'm better. I think I'm at the stage where you said you still had insomnia, but there was less anxiety. My sleep schedule has never been definite, but recently I've been sleeping at 3 am and waking up at 10 am - then not really doing anything until 1 pm. Not sure how that happens but yeah. I'm making small efforts to slowly get back up. I've found some things that I'm interested in. I have a plan for the future now. I'm planning on healing through this gap year and learning how to discipline myself and taking breaks without guilt. Establishing a routine that I can fall back on that benefits me. I really appreciate that you shared this. I can't say enough how much I appreciate it that I can hear similar experiences from someone else that has and is working through it. You've given me hope and more motivation to use this gap year as best as I can. Thank you.
Currently on a gap year (starting college this fall) and I honestly relate to this entire video so much. I've learned more about myself, my passions, my weaknesses, and who I truly am this year than I have in the past 18 years I've lived. There were many "highs" and very low "lows" of this year, but I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. Similar to you, I also realized that contrary to popular belief, I am fully, completely, and wholly an introvert. It took me a long time to admit this to myself because I was always that person who talked a whole lot, ran for student government, took leadership, and advocated for what I believed was right, but this year, I realized why I'd always felt so incredibly drained everytime. I realized that while I was passionate about those things, the way I expressed this passion was more attention-seeking than anything else. I still love to talk a lot about stuff I'm interested in, still love to take leadership roles, still love to advocate for people, but I've learned that it's okay to do all of that in my own introverted way, without losing myself in the process. This past year, for the first time in my life, I wasn't worried about what everybody and their moms thought about me, and I allowed myself to truly be me. It's been liberating, to say the least, and now I think I'm ready to move on to the next stage of my life: college. Thank you for this video❤️.
this is so beautiful and well made. although I'm not on a gap year haha, I relate to so much of what you've said! during the pandemic, I also realized that I'm an introvert despite loving speaking. this was so interesting to watch and made me continue to rethink my obsession with productivity.
thank u thank u thank u, you described everything i am feeling rn as i´m in a gap year before college, it means the world to me seeing someone that has been in the same position, so thank uuu! seeing you from chile btw! :)
i love your videos and just listening to you talk is lowkey therapeutic :') yes!! keep doing your thing! keep doing you!! it's so underrated but so important to be honest with yourself, so ty for the timely reminder
chloe. this is so beautiful and there was so much that I could relate to here, especially in the first part. it was great to hear about all your experiences, you did such an amazing job with this video
You just summed up the entire collection of my existential crises :,,,) Will be a freshman at uchicago this september. Hopefully will have worked eveyrthing out by then!
Even if you don’t, it’s okay!! Everyone is scared and overcompensating and super insecure (especially as college freshmen), even the ones who appear to have their shit together - so you have nothing to worry about there! :)
I started my gap year this January. And I feel like my stages order is the complete reverse from you which is fascinating to me! I started my gap year with a lot of doubt because my reasoning was that I had a health issue; therefore, I needed to take a break. But started feeling guilty when I thought about how I could have just pulled through, just a little harder. Then I would still be working hard as my peers. My gap year is a constant doubt for me, going back and forth on I'm doing the right thing and I'm doing the worst thing possible for myself. I do want to reach some sort of conclusion by the end but not sure how I'm going to get there.
I relate to this. I'm also indonesian and I actually grew up in Singapore. Its my home but not my hometown. I thought I was going to do so much this gap year. I graduated IB in my 2020 and I took a gap year between high school to uni due to covid as well. But i spend most of it just sitting around doing nothing because of so many mental health issues I had to work through. Doing the IB definitely put me out. Trying to recharge the vigour for education that I originally had took months. I was a useless potato for more than a year and I feel bad for admitting that to be the case because I feel like I should be productive but that's the case.
I love this. Thank you for sharing! I began watching you when I was working on my apps for UChicago. Though I ended up getting rejected, I honestly cherished it and wouldn't want to change anything because it was a great experience. I got to talk to people from Uchicago and learn more about their culture. I also got to know you and your growing experience. I will be watching your videos for a long day :))).
I also muted all my notifications and even went as far as turning my screen black and white to avoid looking at messages; I am also secretly bad at texting and somehow excel at enforcing self-imposed stress. This Covid year has made me feel very "unlike me" as I always thought of myself as an extrovert who was always either at club events or talking to friends on a walk to a seminar of sorts. I have had numerous moments in which I have wished to gap a semester, but the thought of retracting myself further from the outside world often gives me unease. Anyway, thank you for this beautiful, relatable film that brings comfort to the loneliness and self-doubt that I have felt in the past year :)
The magical TH-cam algorithm brought me here and your content is amazing! The genuineness within really makes the whole thing feel special, and the scripts and editing of the video is definitely of high quality. Some lines in this video reminded me of my own experience and that’s probably why I can sense a bit of connection here. I started my gap year in mid 2020 bc of the closure of borders (and COVID of course) and it’s actually unexpectedly smooth, especially seeing myself achieve sth I wanted to accomplish for a long time but delayed for some reason, and I got no reason to procrastinate anymore. (XD) I find it really comfortable to slow down the pace of life, forget about the hustle culture and be casual and “unproductive”. Just recommended your channel to my friends and it’s awesome seeing your popularity grow! Keep it up! 🥰
i've taken a gap year bc i was so behind in all the uni work (and even tho I'm at the end of my gap year I am sadly still lacking) and all the feelings and thoughts you've mentioned here were so relatable and I am currently at the fifth stage haha
So relatable... especially the part where you talked about discovering urself being introvert. For me it was just those couple hours of solitude that I need after a long meeting, discussion, or just interaction with ppl. PS: is that Campus North towards the end of this video? It’s kind of vague in the background but just strikes a cord cuz I did my summer session there :)
hahaha almost all of my clips are either from on campus or downtown chicago -- the grass clip at the end was on the quad so i think it was Kent Hall? but the rooftop of the garage clip shows North :)
Outstanding video Chloe I love this! I especially love all the B-rolls you took around the city. they don't feel repetitive at all. I am a student at Northwestern University and I haven't been on campus yet. I am accepted to a really challenging Washington program for fall, with all others who have spent some time on campus. I know I might feel alone going to the program or going back to campus knowing no one or keep staying at home taking virtual classes. Watching someone else being honest about their aloneness or just true feelings in this unusual year really makes me feel a little better in a weird way, anyways, thanks for the video.
Great video! I started a new course last year in early March, and went to a few classes on campus. Then, everything was switched to online around mid-March. So, I did the entire course online. It was challenging, due to the technology, but I got through it. I honestly looked forward to connecting with the teachers and students online. It made me feel less isolated, and gave me something to look forward to. I realised that the area I specialised in, PR, had largely gone online, too, since last year. So, I'm now studying Digital Media, so I am qualified for digital PR jobs. I should be finishing it this November. I enjoy being an introvert, but now that things have been opening up where I live in Australia, I feel so awkward when talking to people in person. I suppose I will have to get used to it, if I want to work in PR. :) Keep up the great work! I'll be interested to see your vlogs about studying online. :)
Watching this now as I submit my application to take a year out from my master's because I realise I'm not ready. It's a harsh reality learning that some of your peers are now 'ahead' and off in graduate jobs etc. and I am doing my best to not compare my life and I hope that my year out will give me some inner peace and introspection like I see you have gained. Love the video and it just affirmed my choice! Wonder how you're getting on now?
Please do more videos on your learnings during your gap year. I honestly relate to these struggles SO MUCH although I'm not on a gap year. Love the video and so amazing that you are so transparent to express such personal thoughts on here (how did you do it? what made you do it?) Hope to see more videos about you! :)
I'm also a little confused since the first quarantine.. I always thought I'm a 110% an extrovert but I really enjoy being alone. Like I enjoy it way more than anybody else 😅 Everyone says that staying home alone was so difficult for them, where as for me it wasn't at all. It actually was exhausting to always meet up with people and be the sunshine in the room. Staying home and not doing anything was so relieving and I actually needed that. I still believe I'm an extrovert somehow but I also think that I have an introvert inside of me. (I'm also dealing with depression, so maybe that's the introverted side.. But I believe it's not only that) Your video was so beautifully put together & I appreciate that you talk about every experience in you gap year and not only the good things that come with it. Sending you much love from Germany 💕
I’m finishing my first year at community college, and thinking about taking a gap year after I finish the second year.. it’s cool to hear your experience!
Yep- ended up with a gap year between undergrad and grad school and all of this was relatable It was a good break but I'm very relieved to go back to school...
Well, if you are burnt out already with 20, maybe you did something wrong. I am 42 yo and was quite lazy in school and only started to work hard during my PhD. That’s why I am now pretty fit and have energy for the next decades..Well, people who are hard working in school have such a lack of creativity. Everybody can do that..simply do as the teacher says and obey the rules...yeah right, that’s what the bosses and big wigs like...someone who doesn’t ask too many questions, does the work without complaining and makes the bosses even richer. That’s great
Hi! My name is Dailei Zhang, a Chinese incoming UChicago freshman! I have watched your videos while I was in my senior year, trying to decide on which university to put as my ED. By the end of my pre-college summer break, I re-dug your video channel out and literally binge watched so many videos. I really enjoyed them and regretted why haven't I been born earlier, so that I can meet you in school (but I guess being born 3 (4?) years later isn't something I have control over lol) I have never had a gap year before, but I do feel like the pre-college summer is something kind of similar (?) I spent the first two months of my holiday pushing through a UChicago Python summer class and got my driver's license. The last month, however, is really similar to your gap year experience. I was so happy that I finally have some room and time to breathe at first, but as my friends started flying off to college and ceased to text me, I felt completely alone. I also went through the bad habit phase, so the past few weeks have really been pushing me to think about what I care about most and how to live with myself. Thank you so much for your quality video! Great Love!
thank you so so so much for this video, you are awesome❤️ im currently in my first year of college, i mean, im almost in the second year, im having my last final exams the next 2 weeks. and i really want to take a gap year. i am burn out, i am not sure about my life and i just want to save money for college when I go back because i don't want to be dependent on my parents anymore. but... i feel stressed, so stressed. because my parents aren't okay with this idea. i think, im almost sure, that they think i will stop going to college at all, they think i will find myself a man to marry and make some children and just live a miserable life like they do. they are so afraid. and i feel so unvalidated that i don't have their agreement, emotional support, even though i know I can do whatever i want. it's my life, oh god.
i discovered your channel yesterday, and I'm so obsessed! keep uploading such wonderful content! 🥺🤍 (ps: yes i watched 50% of her posted vids can you tell 👁👄👁)
I couldn't end up monetizing this video bc of the music I wanted to use, so any bit of help would be so so appreciated to grow this video's audience - I think amongst a sea of upbeat, action-packed gap year videos on youtube, it's also important to have a video dedicated to the uncertain feelings, the loneliness, and the guilt and self-doubt - I hope this is that video, and that what I'm trying to say seeped through :)
On a gap year rn, and I couldn’t agree more. Waiting for your video!
How old are you in 2021?
I just graduated high school and I’m starting my gap year. Everytime I told people I would do a gap year, they look worried and tell me it’s a waste of time. I’ll do my own thing anyways but it does make me nervous and I’m setting high expectations for myself. Im doing this bc I don’t really know what I want to do in the future. I want to take this year to try all sorts of things and perhaps find a passion or something I enjoy doing or even start a big project. I want to experience life and find myself, find a path to follow. I hope this year will be fruitful and I hope I’ll find myself at the end of it.
I am nearing the end of my gap year. And I think this rosy picture of the gap year that's painted all over the internet puts a huge pressure on all of us to achieve and try out everything because we won't get this year again ( also why not). Even if we aren't influenced by the "ideal gap year" everyone talks about, we still have expectations from ourselves. So, everytime we fail to live upto those expectations, guilt sets in (couldn't agree more on self-induced stress & stage 5). Gap year is what you make of it. It can be a period of realisations and reflection but at the same time also be about adventures. Love how you show your gap year journey without any filters!
You literally wrote a college essay!!! That's soo amazing.... You did such a hard work for the vid. Love you and your works!❤
This is so raw, honest and eloquently put. Love it so much! Also, I cannnot stress how much I love the aesthetic
I'm glad you like it :') I was deciding between this and a darker moodier look (like the thumbnail) but decided to go more vintage because i like ~grain~
I'm on my gap year at the moment and it is the best decision I've made for MYSELF based on MY NEEDS. I needed a break. I initially received many comments like "what you're taking a gap year during covid" and "aren't you worried about falling behind?" which then turned into "I wish i took a gap year" further down the conversation.
I wanted to be with no regrets. So I asked myself before taking a gap year do I want to be saying "I wish i took a gap year" OR do i want to be saying "I made the right decision by taking a gap year."
The freedom of working, saving and exploring all my interests that I never had the time or chance to try out previously has been rewarding. Self development and growth as the focus of my gap year has definitely allowed me to understand myself a lot better. This gap year has arguably put me way ahead of my peers who felt pressured to follow a linear path into college or wherever (to no fault of their own) and thus struggle to find a sense of purpose in what they're doing. I'm hopeful they'll find their way though. I hope i do too as I will begin college next year...except now with purpose and intent.
If you're considering a gap year, ask yourself "is it WHAT I NEED" and "does it make sense for me." And before commencing always plan out what and how you intend to spend it. All the best !
hey, Chloe! don't know if you'll read this, but your Oxford videos helped me raise my TSA grade from low-20s to 70+ in less than a month.
since then, i've watched some of your videos and found them immensely helpful but also -- as i've come to realise -- really intimidating.
it came to the point where i was actively avoiding your videos in my feed because they were forcing me to confront my shortcomings and made me feel inadequate.
here you are, a 20yo doing so many outstanding things, and i'm 22 and bracing to enter a second bachelor's degree -- not a single business venture in sight, a 86k word manuscript gathering dust, and a high school education that feels more like a stressful, empty blur than anything else.
this video made me realise just how much you have struggled and that maybe i can strive to emulate your success in certain domains in a healthier way.
wishing you all the best!
- Rick
Did you go to Oxford?
i think it's so precious that you decided to upload this video. of course for us, but also for yourself.
it's actually quite poetic that i can watch this, on a monday evening at 8:41pm on the 17th january 2022, with just my lamplight on and munching on cherries, indulging in thoughts you captured on a camera and microphone, posted on the 21st april 2021. and that i can relate to your feelings so much, and the way you feel, the way you perceive things, even though i've never had a gap year and i haven't begun college yet.
i hope you're doing well and are enjoying the life you're living right now :)
It’s crazy to me how, as individual as we all are, this set of stages is so widely unanimous. I’ve experienced these five stages within the past three months of my gap semester from college, and it is so interesting and strangely comforting to see my own story told through the lens of another!
I deeply respect your bravery in showing this side of your experience, it really isn't easy. As a viewer, I can certainly see that you've come out as a stronger person💪🏻.
P.S. 10/10 thumbnail
@@sda15102 many thanks!! That thumbnail took me a hot second to shoot and edit so im glad you noticed :>
Thank you for sharing this. As an adult who is experiencing my own career gap year, the part where you said people “glamorize gap year” is so relative. I am inspired to share my own story as well.
almost cried watching this as an ex-gap yearer, tysm for sharing this with us chloe
This makes me rarely scared. I’m truthfully scared of adulthood. I’m working a lot for becoming a international student and my expectations of life outside and being alone is something that I expect, but mental health and being alone is something that scares me a lot at the same time or being away from my family. This is a punch of reality for me but definitely worth to watch.
loved this! currently on a gap year before grad school. It's good to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way.
Thank you for this. I was forced to take a break from school due to burn out caused my really bad mental health... I wish I had found this video sooner in my gap, but I'm happy to see this and see some things that I've learned and am learning.
I may be late to comment but I had tears in my eyes watching this video. I experienced and am experiencing these emotions and literally everything you said. And although, I haven’t taken a gap year, I relate to you in everything and I thank you for uploading this. Thank you so much.
Thank you for sharing your journey and being so thoughtful and detailed. I'm thinking about taking a gap year (I'm a senior) but I have a lot of anxiety about it, whether it's the right thing to do or not. This video helped a lot! Your voice is pretty calming too.
this was a cinematic *experience*
Your content always feels so relatable because they present the side that is not so "glamorous" and "exciting", which can rarely be seen on youtube. It's a brave thing to do, and thank you so much for sharing your true thoughts. The aesthetic though, 11/10!!!
This was so great. I am a senior in high school and have been feeling a lot like what you described in the video lately. It was amazing realizing that there are other people like me.
I'm currently struggling to learn how to live with myself and try to find who I am. This video really touched me, so thank you for showing your vulnerability and overall journey. I hope to reach this level of self acceptance someday
it’s definitely a constant struggle!! No matter how hard it is or meaningless it seems at least you’re moving forward!! ♡ let’s work on it together heh
thank you so much for sharing this. i'm also currently taking a gap year because the school year took a toll on me, mentally and emotionally. i'm currently living in the philippines but i grew up in singapore. i really miss it back there and the lifestyle i had, but i knew i needed to get used to being back in the country i was born in. it's been 2 years yet i still couldn't do it. everyday i miss my friends and my dad, who stayed back in singapore because of his work. he called recently telling me that we have to talk about my future soon and i'm absolutely terrified because i have no idea what i wanted to do. i knew that i didn't want to go back to the previous course i took. i feel like my life is currently at a standstill, like i'm in limbo. i have no passions, no hobbies, nothing. your video really helped me gain more perspective about what i should be doing during my gap year, so i just wanted to thank you for sharing this
EVERYONE listen up - put this video on, open a text file on your device and start free writing NOW. WITH THIS IN THE BACKgROUND. She talks about so many things, that gave me so many tangential ideas about what I can do with my time (gap year) related/unrelated to my career. Just things that'll keep me....willing to live on? I suggest you do the same. Don't worry about grammar, typos, changing lines or anything. Just put this on and start pouring your thoughts. Even if that thought is "I don't know why I'm doing this". TRUST ME ON THIS -- You'll look back, filter out the garbage and there will be a new perspective for you.
THANK YOUU!!!
I set up a 11:00 am alarm to watch the video!! Thank you soo much for sharing your experience Chloe!
!!! yay thank you so much!! that's crazy ahh
I truly appreciate you sharing your personal experience about your gap year! I am currently taking a gap year before pursuing my PhD next fall, and I have experienced many faucets of mental and physical exhaustion as you, as well as those "spark" moments. I needed this because now I know I am not alone through this transition of my life. I'm truly moved by your gap year experience. By the way, your voice is very soothing and calm. I love the way you tell a story. Your novel will turn out great! I actually have a desire to write a memoir, but I'm scared and don't quite know my voice and style nor the first thing about writing a book. Good luck to you in all your current and future endeavors!
Sounds like a great learning experience. Congrats. I'm really happy to hear you took a gap year to go through this. It's literally what I tell all my mentees. I myself experienced the same thing you did, but never thought a gap year was an option, and drove my life completely off the tracks in my 3rd and 4th year, and didn't go through your journey until after college, which was at a much greater opportunity cost. Best regards
I’m reading “Why We Sleep” right now and thought of you. Not actually very applicable, but it acts as a friendly reminder.
i love everything about this video! i took a gap year during college this year as well, abruptly because of the pandemic and i feel a lot of similar things as you. i made a video about my gap year too and it also started out in a place of fear and stress. this really inspires me to document more of my journey as well, and be more vulnerable and transparent. excited to see where you go!
this felt like a movie omgg
ONE DAY I will find a topic i love and try to make a short film out of it ;-; aspiring goals
The editing in this is phenomenal. You have such a powerful and intelligent way with words - I'm sure your book will be equally gripping! It's so refreshing to hear an honest gap year video. You seem to have grown so much over the past year. Truly loved it, excellent job!
👍
Chloe thank you for this. I genuinely love your take and outlook on life. I'm about to graduate high school and watching your videos always puts me a little more at ease. thank you for showing me I'm not alone, and for being so vulnerable. You're amazing, and I know you'll accomplish and experience incredible things in your life! Anyway, enjoy the rest of your day or night!
Thank you. No words can express how I felt through this pandemic though my situation with school differs slightly all these emotions I’ve felt through my ‘gap year’
The positivity of this video is helping me a lot in the toxic family situation I’m in rn.
Keep making these great videos and fighting!
I'm currently on a gap year right now,, trying to find a new path and just trying to figure out what i want to do with my life...This video really resonated with me on another level. It feels like you are explaining exactly what's going on in my head...Thank you for your hard work and efforts - this video really made my day :)
I’m on a gap year, before I start dental school , and honestly?
One of the best decisions I’ve made
thank you for being yourself. just want to say i love you so so so much!!!!
love this! fellow gap year student here and I found this incredibly relatable :) so well made
Chloe, I cannot tell you how much I relate to this video. I'm currently on a gap year and it's been such a mix of highs and lows and learning more about myself- you highlighted this so well! I'm glad you took a different approach to reflecting on your gap year. I watched so many videos from Jade about her gap year and I love her so much, but I did struggle with feeling like I was wasting my time staying home instead of traveling and accomplishing more. Thank you so much for making this video and letting me know I'm not alone.
I'm currently writing a "recommended gap year videos to watch" blog post for a website with some other gap year people from my college. This video will be the first one on the list :)
missed most of the premiere but the parts that i did get to see were very insightful and intriguing, especially for someone who is considering taking a gap year... thank you for sharing your story and im off to rewatch the beginning :D
finished! your reflections are so well-versed and the videography is immaculate, and i really appreciate your exhibition of the weightier side of a gap year experience. its definitely helping me with my decision!
It felt like ... sometimes it's better to appreciate yourself, your work and give time to yourself..
I certainly admire your videos, they are different...they speak the unspoken inner side.
Thanks Chloe ❤️💜
It's so striking to me how methodical and strategic you are about everything you tackle. At the same time it was so moving to hear about your personal journey and lessons in this one. 💖 Take care! You're going to be all right.
Thanks Chloe for sharing.
Now I'm gonna tell a little bit of my story too, so some folks out there know they're not alone.
I'm 18 and currently on a gap year after I finished highschool. I had a plan of participating in this yearly exam to enter one of the state universities in my country. But I decided to not, cus I know my mental health was deteriorating.
I had really given it some thought, again and again, to just give what I can give, to not push myself too hard, but you know what? In that kind of state, I couldn't do ANYTHING right. Anything.
So to conclude it, mental health is like the base, the foundation. When it's not firm, it's not well-built, it's not strong, whatever you build on top of it will not sustain well.
This is what I do after many days of uncontrollable fear and constant headache that made me felt like dying.
I stopped doing what's right according to my standard. I say to myself, "Even if this is wrong, I'm still gonna do it, for the sake of me."
I needed a lot of time. It's rly way too complicated to be described. My advice for you guys, really, just stop with the expectation. Whatever the shit that you're worried about other people telling you. After all THE ONE who's gonna live your life and face all of its shitty things is JUST YOU. When something happens it's you facing it, not them. So take care of your mental health. Live your life according to your way, responsibly ofc.
Hey Chloe, fun fact I took a gap year during the same time period as you too!!
Can’t say it enough but the value of a gap year is not discussed about enough! Your raw expression of a gap year has inspired me to recap my own gap year, to really express my gap year using my own words to describe this gift that I never knew before.
I feel like I just watched a cinematic netflix short and its clear how much effort you put into these videos. I don't really know what to say so I'm just gonna say that we stannn a queen of editing :D
just completed my senior year and so, i'm supposed to be off college but i can't mentally handle the online setting (covid-situation is still vv bad in our country) and i feel scared to repeat what happened to my gr12 school year .... so i decided to do a gap year tho i feel a little lost right now esp my mom seemed to not understand my situation for some reason :(
thank you for this video
It's really amazing how you could actually put your thoughts and feelings into words and share them with others. I truly agree with you that a gap year (or a gap semester) is when you can take a step backward and get to know yourself much better :)
This is such a beautiful video (aesthetically and... otherwise[?]) I really emphasize with what you say about texting, needing a break after social highs, and the stages you went through on your gap year - especially as I’m on one myself. Thank you so much for making this video ☺️😍
best of luck on your gap year :) and regardless of what you do or don't do - it'll be a good time!
Hey, this is a lot. And it might be TMI.
It's the summer after my senior year in high school, and I just sat down for 14:50 minutes and listened to someone accurately describe my high school life, so I'm a little in shock. Except, I've always been an introvert - barely spoke at all as a child. I chose to take a gap year because of burnt out, that I haven't been able to fully come back from. God put you on my TH-cam recommendations because I really needed to hear this. I'm currently binging gap year videos. I've never had my rough experiences during highschool, self-induced stress (which did lead to depression for a couple of years, and insomnia explain clearly to me. I've tried to say it out loud to myself to validate my experiences because I couldn't relate to those around me, and no one could understand. Especially the part about staying up.
I started staying up for school near the end of 7th grade. There was a difficult bio final. When I was done studying, it was 5 am, and I didn't notice. I got the highest mark. So the next few years, I used staying up as a strategy. It was something I took pride in too. As the pressure increased, my mental health went downhill until I noticed I was drinking unhealthy amounts of coffee to keep myself up, because it would take me longer to study - couldn't focus or sleep because of anxiety. I turned into a zombie. I kept staying up even when didn't really need to because normal day-to-day life became unbearable and so did school, though I loved learning. I need that time when everyone else was asleep when I could feel like I'm in control of what I do now, how I spend my time. Even if it was hurting me and I desperately needed sleep - I needed a certain amount of control over my life more. After searching the internet for advice and also resorting to prayer - there came quarantine and covid lol. It was an awful time for the world but quarantine stopped time like I desperately needed time to be stopped. Other very specific and oddly convenient things I couldn't think to ask for or expect also happened. Learned two things as I very slowly got better, 1) I'm definitely gonna keep praying, despite what I thought about it in the past - I've experienced too much when I was desperate for anything that I dropped everything and came to Him for help to just shrug it off now, so I'm going to look into that. 2) I'm never putting school before my mental health again, no matter how urgent it seems at the moment - I hope I stick to this.
It's my second year in North America, apart from family. I spent the last two years trying to sort myself out and catching up on years of sleep without sacrificing too much of the grades that I worked so hard for. That didn't work and I had to choose - though really it was barely a choice. This may sound very exaggerated but I nursed myself back to health - and I still am. I'm getting help with my anxiety. I went from being 1st in my class all year in 9th grade to barely making it through senior year. Burnout is no joke. I'm better. I think I'm at the stage where you said you still had insomnia, but there was less anxiety. My sleep schedule has never been definite, but recently I've been sleeping at 3 am and waking up at 10 am - then not really doing anything until 1 pm. Not sure how that happens but yeah. I'm making small efforts to slowly get back up. I've found some things that I'm interested in. I have a plan for the future now. I'm planning on healing through this gap year and learning how to discipline myself and taking breaks without guilt. Establishing a routine that I can fall back on that benefits me.
I really appreciate that you shared this. I can't say enough how much I appreciate it that I can hear similar experiences from someone else that has and is working through it. You've given me hope and more motivation to use this gap year as best as I can.
Thank you.
Currently on a gap year (starting college this fall) and I honestly relate to this entire video so much. I've learned more about myself, my passions, my weaknesses, and who I truly am this year than I have in the past 18 years I've lived. There were many "highs" and very low "lows" of this year, but I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. Similar to you, I also realized that contrary to popular belief, I am fully, completely, and wholly an introvert. It took me a long time to admit this to myself because I was always that person who talked a whole lot, ran for student government, took leadership, and advocated for what I believed was right, but this year, I realized why I'd always felt so incredibly drained everytime. I realized that while I was passionate about those things, the way I expressed this passion was more attention-seeking than anything else. I still love to talk a lot about stuff I'm interested in, still love to take leadership roles, still love to advocate for people, but I've learned that it's okay to do all of that in my own introverted way, without losing myself in the process.
This past year, for the first time in my life, I wasn't worried about what everybody and their moms thought about me, and I allowed myself to truly be me. It's been liberating, to say the least, and now I think I'm ready to move on to the next stage of my life: college. Thank you for this video❤️.
this is so beautiful and well made. although I'm not on a gap year haha, I relate to so much of what you've said! during the pandemic, I also realized that I'm an introvert despite loving speaking. this was so interesting to watch and made me continue to rethink my obsession with productivity.
thank u thank u thank u, you described everything i am feeling rn as i´m in a gap year before college, it means the world to me seeing someone that has been in the same position, so thank uuu! seeing you from chile btw! :)
i love your videos and just listening to you talk is lowkey therapeutic :') yes!! keep doing your thing! keep doing you!! it's so underrated but so important to be honest with yourself, so ty for the timely reminder
chloe. this is so beautiful and there was so much that I could relate to here, especially in the first part. it was great to hear about all your experiences, you did such an amazing job with this video
You just summed up the entire collection of my existential crises :,,,) Will be a freshman at uchicago this september. Hopefully will have worked eveyrthing out by then!
Even if you don’t, it’s okay!! Everyone is scared and overcompensating and super insecure (especially as college freshmen), even the ones who appear to have their shit together - so you have nothing to worry about there! :)
This is so refreshing! I relate with much of it although I've never taken a gap year.
OMG Chloe, I'm here since the very beginning a subscriber and I can't express how awesome it feels to see you improving here on TH-cam. 😍😍😍
this online community is equally grateful to have you rant to us
I started my gap year this January. And I feel like my stages order is the complete reverse from you which is fascinating to me! I started my gap year with a lot of doubt because my reasoning was that I had a health issue; therefore, I needed to take a break. But started feeling guilty when I thought about how I could have just pulled through, just a little harder. Then I would still be working hard as my peers. My gap year is a constant doubt for me, going back and forth on I'm doing the right thing and I'm doing the worst thing possible for myself. I do want to reach some sort of conclusion by the end but not sure how I'm going to get there.
I relate to this. I'm also indonesian and I actually grew up in Singapore. Its my home but not my hometown. I thought I was going to do so much this gap year. I graduated IB in my 2020 and I took a gap year between high school to uni due to covid as well. But i spend most of it just sitting around doing nothing because of so many mental health issues I had to work through. Doing the IB definitely put me out. Trying to recharge the vigour for education that I originally had took months. I was a useless potato for more than a year and I feel bad for admitting that to be the case because I feel like I should be productive but that's the case.
Big vibe with stage 5.
Thanks for being honest in this public space. Keep on doing what feels right for you.😊
I love this. Thank you for sharing! I began watching you when I was working on my apps for UChicago. Though I ended up getting rejected, I honestly cherished it and wouldn't want to change anything because it was a great experience. I got to talk to people from Uchicago and learn more about their culture. I also got to know you and your growing experience. I will be watching your videos for a long day :))).
♡ thank you so much love - it means so much to me that ppl like my shift in content and be willing to understand / listen to me :))
The way you filmed it was no less than a big ass production team.... really great vid!!!
I also muted all my notifications and even went as far as turning my screen black and white to avoid looking at messages; I am also secretly bad at texting and somehow excel at enforcing self-imposed stress. This Covid year has made me feel very "unlike me" as I always thought of myself as an extrovert who was always either at club events or talking to friends on a walk to a seminar of sorts. I have had numerous moments in which I have wished to gap a semester, but the thought of retracting myself further from the outside world often gives me unease. Anyway, thank you for this beautiful, relatable film that brings comfort to the loneliness and self-doubt that I have felt in the past year :)
thank you so much for sharing your feelings!! :) I'm glad the video helped a tiny bit and I relate a lot to your experiences ahh
The magical TH-cam algorithm brought me here and your content is amazing! The genuineness within really makes the whole thing feel special, and the scripts and editing of the video is definitely of high quality. Some lines in this video reminded me of my own experience and that’s probably why I can sense a bit of connection here.
I started my gap year in mid 2020 bc of the closure of borders (and COVID of course) and it’s actually unexpectedly smooth, especially seeing myself achieve sth I wanted to accomplish for a long time but delayed for some reason, and I got no reason to procrastinate anymore. (XD) I find it really comfortable to slow down the pace of life, forget about the hustle culture and be casual and “unproductive”.
Just recommended your channel to my friends and it’s awesome seeing your popularity grow! Keep it up! 🥰
I’m about to enter my gap year so thank you very much for showing the real sides of what I might expect
We love you sm, ive watched you grow this channel since the past year, so proud
i've taken a gap year bc i was so behind in all the uni work (and even tho I'm at the end of my gap year I am sadly still lacking) and all the feelings and thoughts you've mentioned here were so relatable and I am currently at the fifth stage haha
Love the aesthetics and the lines 😻
I'm so glad I stuck till the end! This was so very helpful and such a different perspective. Thanks a ton for this :)
So relatable... especially the part where you talked about discovering urself being introvert. For me it was just those couple hours of solitude that I need after a long meeting, discussion, or just interaction with ppl.
PS: is that Campus North towards the end of this video? It’s kind of vague in the background but just strikes a cord cuz I did my summer session there :)
hahaha almost all of my clips are either from on campus or downtown chicago -- the grass clip at the end was on the quad so i think it was Kent Hall? but the rooftop of the garage clip shows North :)
Yes!!! I have been waiting for this video so excited!!
Outstanding video Chloe I love this! I especially love all the B-rolls you took around the city. they don't feel repetitive at all. I am a student at Northwestern University and I haven't been on campus yet. I am accepted to a really challenging Washington program for fall, with all others who have spent some time on campus. I know I might feel alone going to the program or going back to campus knowing no one or keep staying at home taking virtual classes. Watching someone else being honest about their aloneness or just true feelings in this unusual year really makes me feel a little better in a weird way, anyways, thanks for the video.
Hello from China lol! I enjoyed this video soooo much bc of its insightful content and amazing shootings!! well done chloe!!
I’m taking a break from uni too, this is so relatable
I am not sure why, but this video made me feel better anyway..thank u
This was such a beautiful and accurate video !
Great video! I started a new course last year in early March, and went to a few classes on campus. Then, everything was switched to online around mid-March. So, I did the entire course online. It was challenging, due to the technology, but I got through it. I honestly looked forward to connecting with the teachers and students online. It made me feel less isolated, and gave me something to look forward to. I realised that the area I specialised in, PR, had largely gone online, too, since last year. So, I'm now studying Digital Media, so I am qualified for digital PR jobs. I should be finishing it this November. I enjoy being an introvert, but now that things have been opening up where I live in Australia, I feel so awkward when talking to people in person. I suppose I will have to get used to it, if I want to work in PR. :) Keep up the great work! I'll be interested to see your vlogs about studying online. :)
Watching this now as I submit my application to take a year out from my master's because I realise I'm not ready. It's a harsh reality learning that some of your peers are now 'ahead' and off in graduate jobs etc. and I am doing my best to not compare my life and I hope that my year out will give me some inner peace and introspection like I see you have gained. Love the video and it just affirmed my choice! Wonder how you're getting on now?
it felt so great to watch your videos and thank you Chloe for sharing this :)
Please do more videos on your learnings during your gap year. I honestly relate to these struggles SO MUCH although I'm not on a gap year. Love the video and so amazing that you are so transparent to express such personal thoughts on here (how did you do it? what made you do it?) Hope to see more videos about you! :)
Wow, this was an amazing video. The quality, the content, all of it.
I'm also a little confused since the first quarantine.. I always thought I'm a 110% an extrovert but I really enjoy being alone. Like I enjoy it way more than anybody else 😅
Everyone says that staying home alone was so difficult for them, where as for me it wasn't at all. It actually was exhausting to always meet up with people and be the sunshine in the room. Staying home and not doing anything was so relieving and I actually needed that.
I still believe I'm an extrovert somehow but I also think that I have an introvert inside of me.
(I'm also dealing with depression, so maybe that's the introverted side.. But I believe it's not only that)
Your video was so beautifully put together & I appreciate that you talk about every experience in you gap year and not only the good things that come with it.
Sending you much love from Germany 💕
loved this video (: was really well written and also very calming shots!
I’m finishing my first year at community college, and thinking about taking a gap year after I finish the second year.. it’s cool to hear your experience!
Yep- ended up with a gap year between undergrad and grad school and all of this was relatable
It was a good break but I'm very relieved to go back to school...
This was beautiful.
Well, if you are burnt out already with 20, maybe you did something wrong. I am 42 yo and was quite lazy in school and only started to work hard during my PhD. That’s why I am now pretty fit and have energy for the next decades..Well, people who are hard working in school have such a lack of creativity. Everybody can do that..simply do as the teacher says and obey the rules...yeah right, that’s what the bosses and big wigs like...someone who doesn’t ask too many questions, does the work without complaining and makes the bosses even richer. That’s great
Hi! My name is Dailei Zhang, a Chinese incoming UChicago freshman! I have watched your videos while I was in my senior year, trying to decide on which university to put as my ED. By the end of my pre-college summer break, I re-dug your video channel out and literally binge watched so many videos. I really enjoyed them and regretted why haven't I been born earlier, so that I can meet you in school (but I guess being born 3 (4?) years later isn't something I have control over lol)
I have never had a gap year before, but I do feel like the pre-college summer is something kind of similar (?) I spent the first two months of my holiday pushing through a UChicago Python summer class and got my driver's license. The last month, however, is really similar to your gap year experience. I was so happy that I finally have some room and time to breathe at first, but as my friends started flying off to college and ceased to text me, I felt completely alone. I also went through the bad habit phase, so the past few weeks have really been pushing me to think about what I care about most and how to live with myself.
Thank you so much for your quality video! Great Love!
This video is ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS btw
omg i just realized... you will graduate 2023, meaning that I might accidentally bump into you around campus! (excited
Damn your practically a documentary filmmaker! I love this
I just discovered your channel and it's super cool. Thanks for doing this type of videos!
this was put together so well!
This is so inspiring and heart-felt! Thank you for sharing!!
Keep doing your thing! Love it!
You inspire me a lot 🥺😍. I love youuu ♥️
That is an amazing video. I think if I would be in college right now, I would do similar things but in my home country.
thank you for this video chloe! i've never so understood before. ;)
It was kind of healing video.... So beautiful
Truly love it! Keep doing your thing is an inspiring message:)
so grateful for you!
thank you so so so much for this video, you are awesome❤️
im currently in my first year of college, i mean, im almost in the second year, im having my last final exams the next 2 weeks.
and i really want to take a gap year.
i am burn out, i am not sure about my life and i just want to save money for college when I go back because i don't want to be dependent on my parents anymore.
but...
i feel stressed, so stressed. because my parents aren't okay with this idea.
i think, im almost sure, that they think i will stop going to college at all, they think i will find myself a man to marry and make some children and just live a miserable life like they do.
they are so afraid. and i feel so unvalidated that i don't have their agreement, emotional support, even though i know I can do whatever i want. it's my life, oh god.
i discovered your channel yesterday, and I'm so obsessed! keep uploading such wonderful content! 🥺🤍 (ps: yes i watched 50% of her posted vids can you tell 👁👄👁)
what a beautiful. freaking. experience.