Your mom was spot on about "friends" are really acquaintances. My grandmother said to me when I was a teenager that if you can count your friends on one finger count yourself lucky. Pets have always felt more like my friends. I have accepted it and am at peace with that.
I'm in my 50s and been homeless more than once, autistic and partially deaf ... Not a friend or family anywhere to be seen lol. My best buddy is my border collie, a dog really is man's best friend 🐕. 🇬🇧
I'm mid 40's and from a small family I have no siblings and my parents have no friends at all, never did have. I got divorced 5 years ago and slowly things have gone from bad to worse. I have struggled with mental health issues since my divorce and unfortunately lost my job early December. I am now currently homeless with not one single friend. I question if I've pushed the few I had away, or if they were indeed ever friends at all?
I’m 54 years old and I’ve been at my job for 25 years. I was always the one who went the extra mile, to stay connected with a couple of “Friends” at work and outside of the workplace. But I tried an experiment within the past year. I slowed down purposely, on communication with these people. Just to see if they would put in the effort to stay connected. They didn’t. People become lazy and spoiled. They expect you to do all of the work. But I was gullible enough to keep reaching out. Now, I don’t talk to anyone. It’s actually better that way. Can’t be mixed up with anything, or trouble, if you stay to yourself. Just something that I’ve noticed as I’ve grown older.
Yes but it still makes me sad because I was that person too and now I can't put any more energy towards people that don't reciprocate
3 วันที่ผ่านมา +10
I am in retirement community now, people move around the country as timegoes on, and get involved locally, close friends die off then things change. Keeping aquaintences casual is best.
I noticed the same thing when I got divorced. The Ex, who cheated on me and everyone actually knew it, actually got all the married friends, because the wives forced their husbands to pick sides. I was the one who cleaned up the house for them when they came over then did all the grilling and made sure they had the beer they all wanted. Afterwards, dummy me even left HER the house with all the main furniture to give my kids stability and she turned them against me.
I had a kind mother, a mean brother and one of my daughters but have two long life friends who always been there for me throughout my life. I feel blessed after listening to you.
Hahaha in the understanding of the schiziodisum i find reality has become too expensive and unsafe to be in this world reality is why we consider isolation,and the desperate understand of the selfs and others ,study personality disorders in isolation your have endless fascination of people and the way they are.
I grew in the same mining village as my wife. Angela was always a gorgeous, kind, humble and highly intelligent girl. The boys including me all wanted to have her attention. She was always kind to us and made us all feel included. Her girlfriends where all covert narcissist's that hide their jealousy and anger for her. Every girlfriend took out acts of revenge and hate against her. Married 43 years I have the best friend in the world and even at 63 she looks amazing and even dogs love her as I do. Sadly , no female could ever be her friend and they are missing out on such a kind , funny person.
I had a Couple of friends but they never make the effort to meet up , I feel as if they take pleasure in my sadness and I have now stopped messaging them . I leave the communication options open but I don’t think I will ever hear from them and it is sad , but I don’t want Pity , I want a friend to want to meet up And not out of pity . Can you understand that ?
Your Mum is right, family members are very fickle too...cant rely on them... i have couple of good friends but thats it.... i have been back stabbed, and used, never again, lots use us for what they want...most friendships run its course...
My father tod me that the only person you can trust is yourself. I thought this a bit cynical but with time and experience I have found this to be true.
Yourself and very often your mother, due to maternal instinct. Genetics can outpower Ego drive. We are in essence egoistic creatures. Society empowers this antihuman behaviour
All of this is so true. I had a very wonderful, smart and honest teacher in high school that told us daily, 'you are lucky if you leave this world with 2 friends'. He always taught us that friendships are not what we think they are.
Terrific episode,especially at Christmas time.We see television advertising with multi generational big families sat around the dinner table which for me sums up the pressures it puts on people which leads to a feeling of lack/loss. Be self sufficient where possible…. Strength comes from within,try not to seek validation from others.
I partly agree with your mum, I have one best friend I have had since school a few others but not really close. As I have got older I have backed off from people. My last friendship who I thought was a good friend of seven years turned out to be narcissistic and I had to walk away, it’s put me off wanting to get close to anyone. I value peace and calm more than toxicity or fair weather friends.
Absolutely right to take what your Mum said on board. It's very rare to have true friends. Also I'm finding inlaws have hidden agends too. My grown up children are my best friends as they really do have my best interests at heart and would never use or take advantage of my kindness. I do take everyone at face value until the do or say something, then they are gone.
A true friend will be there without question. In 47 years, I'd say I've had 2. My beautiful wife and one good buddy. All the rest qualify as acquaintances. Your mom makes a great point.
My mother and father had this very conversation with me when I was a very young man. Family turned their back on them and they had very few friends. My father had a specific way of parsing the difference between 'acquaintances' and 'friends' and noted that a person is lucky to have (at best) only a single friend or perhaps two in an entire lifetime. It's a sad truth - but one none the less.
You are not wrong. I dont have real friends, someone I would tell all and who would drop everything for me. I had one, but he is gone now across the veil. Knowing him and how mutual understanding could really be, changed my understanding of real friendship. And I haven't been a real friend myself either, there has to be the same vibe and understanding in a big extent and sometimes its just not there anymore if we move forward in life facing our challenges. I have some nice acquaintances.
I’m 59 now and thought had real friends many times! Now think only person you can really rely on is yourself. Prefer to keep to myself now and as many do look to my dog for unconditional love and friendship
People are with you for a reason-a season or a lifetime A Real friend is there for you no matter what and is thoughtful, compassionate and kind! Most people are not your friends, especially people who talk about others! Your mother was a wise lady Chris! 🤗😘❤️🌟⭐️❤️🌟⭐️💫
I thought i would regret letting people go, but i dont regret a thing ive actually set them free. It's always wise to keep your own council. Sage words from my grandmother.
After my husband died 19 years ago, all my friends disappeared. Just because yo have siblings or relatives doesn't mean they are you friends. I was lucky to have a connection with my cousin and still do.
Friendships are overrated - there are only situationships - you are born alone & you will die alone . . anything in between is just the journey . . . passing ships in the night . . . as a "giver" I realised soon people are inherently selfish & only really look out for themselves . .
Same here I was very fortunate to have three best buddies in that without a doubt if you were in trouble didn't have to question if they'll be there unfortunately they all passed away at a young age if I didn't have those memories I would probably wonder what life was really meant for also my three siblings passed away and my parents and just less than 11 months and my wife of 20 years now my ex wife but I try to keep my head up got to be a reason why I'm still here well sorry for a long comment but your post and caught my attention that's what my father told me the best of luck to you my friend
Many decades down the line, I realize that I’ve always been ..alone. Even people who used to care and kind of like you will eventually change. Nothing stays. People care for number one: their own selves. The rest is fake. They somehow simply use us for their own selves. I’ve also learned to stop bending over forward for people, I was not necessarily appreciated. Uness they’re truly humane, grateful.., compassionate and empathetic (which is rarer nowadays), you’re not necessarily appreciated. You end up alone anyways or even despised for the help you gave them. It can even be that crazy nowadays.Same goes for family.. . So when people tell us: I care and love you, that means nothing. The next day, you soon can see their true egotistical self-centred nature and what they said meant ..nothing. I’m not naive. Your mom had flair, smarts and insight. 👌And so have you looks like. Good thing. My friends are our guides up there I believe. Heaven never lets us down. Don’t know how it works but it works. I know my father has always been there for me up there. That I can testify to.
I think it is sad but true, people don't trust anyone anymore. People lie and use you like a paper napkin, and then throw you away or backstab you, and lie and cheat and take advantage of you. That's not a friend.
In my case, my friends don't call me to find out about my business, they just want to talk about their problems at work, family, etc. and after an hour of listening and trying to advise, they don't even ask you how you are, I'm better alone.
Friends? Bah humbug. I buried my hubby 3 weeks after he was diagnosed with cancer. He helped so many people. One person sent their condolences. I was totally alone at his burial.😢
This is so sad it’s made me want to reach out and say hi and I hope you have support from someone. If not my email is available just reach out at this difficult time. I send my condolences and hope. Chris
Be strong Julia, for yourself be strong! Live your life in good shape Julia, keep yourself healthy and contented in the simple things. Kind thoughts for you Julia. 😘🍀
I have more good acquaintances now as I am older than friends. The "friends" in my past seemed to do just that...find out your business and gossip. They definitely weren't there when I needed them but expected me to be there for them. Then the competitions began as young adults starting families and it only got worse. I got tired of the drama and bowed out.
i'm 71 yrs old and i've had 3 very good friends in my lifetime. lost all 3 of them in the last 4 yrs. it's sad. family is gone and now friends are gone. i don't have the energy to make more. i don't trust people any longer. so there's no use in going out and trying to make friends because i won't be a good friend to them.
So true. The pandemic hit me hard in a couple ways and I got real sad for the first time in 30 years of life! Not the person who always has their ish together. I didn't need more from my friends than them sincerely telling me it'll all work out...and they got confused, I guess)) I kept talking to one after another waiting for someone to remind me how I've pulled through stuff before, someone who really believes in me, but no. Now that things are better than ever I'm alone, what a joke
I realised this at 21. Im 22 now I don’t depend on anyone, or beg anyone to help me I work hard everyday. We truly have ourselves. The only person that I’ve seen that as my best interest at heart is my mother. There’s nothing like motherly love. (I’m aware not everyone has amazing mothers, but for the most part mothers are always their for their children through the joy, the pain )
That's such a shame. I have found friends to be a huge, huge support throughout life. You just have to have high standards and accept nothing less than integrity and good values. I think with those things on the decline, it's fair to say it's harder to make friends nowadays.
I have one friend. We met in college. My entire family died thirty years ago. I've suffered for years with chronic illness. She is my power of attorney and in charge of disposing of me. We've been real friends for over forty years. She calls me once a week. I'm now in Iowa and she's back home in Alabama. I agree with you. Too many people use others as entertainment. I went through this a few years ago. Hard to see when you are in the middle of it. I truly wish I had never left Alabama. Now I'm stuck in a place where no one cares.
Your Mum is right. People come into our lives, for a reason, season or lifetime……family & friends, can be a distraction or an aid, to discovering yourself……….the journey within, which is what you are doing now. Our sole (or soul!) purpose in this life, is to reach enlightenment & consciousness as to who we are & return to our original source……..we are in the world, but not of it… By the time we get to our age, you can count the ‘friends’ on less than one hand.
In that case, why did we leave the "original source" in the first place? Most new age/religious philosophies describe that state of being as "perfection". So, again, if it was perfect, why did we choose to leave it? Once you apply logic, such statements as yours, and all the others, RAPIDLY fall apart.
@@bobjames6622 I cant teach you, you have to learn. None of us have left the original source, it’s within you as energy, that’s what you are. Some people vibrate at different frequencies, like magnetism. This energy is either pulled or repelled. Energy cannot be destroyed, only transferred. So If you want to apply your logic, then energy has to come from where it is created & energy is perfection in itself. You cannot see or touch it, ot just is. You cannot grasp or explain it, either, it has to be felt. Maybe it’s because you’re applying labels & logic & are stuck in dense energy of the mind. Look into cymatics, sacred geometry, quantum physics & learn what resonates with you, in order to understand yourself better.
The meaning of an organisms existence is to survive and propagate it's genetic material, the same as all other organisms. it's the reason we have all these senses. why we evolved and why you exist. Had your ancestors not procreated and ensured their off springs survival you would not be here today. Humans evolved as social creatures to ensure survival of our species. Humans evolve to live cooperatively to live in herds then communities together and this is advantageous to all the human beings in the community. It's only through cooperation and compromise that we can create the type of mutually beneficial society that we need to create in order to survive and thrive as a species. in order to achieve that humans have had to develop things like empathy, guilt, shame, remorse and we need other humans for companionship in order to thrive emotionally psychologically and even physically. Centuries ago humans didn't really survive past their mid 30s or 40s, many died even younger or in infancy and they didn't have time to sit around pondering on life they were more concerned with basic survival...it's only because of science, technology and health care by a small percent of geniuses that we are around much longer now. Just because humans are more intelligence with bigger brains doesn't mean we have a higher purpose than other organisms. It's only our own narcissism than makes us believe we are above basic biology. All your ancestors before you who made sacrifices were not just building up for you to live a self centred existence. Of course there are antisocial personalities like narcissists and psychopaths who did not develop these things(biology is not perfect) usually due to trauma, abuse and neglect in childhood, but most humans did develop empathy and a conscience and are prosocial and are able to bond and care for other humans. A society comprised entirely or even mostly of antisocial personalities would not be sustainable. Without respect for the rights of others and adherence to basic rules of decency society falls apart. Keep your Humanity because we all need it. Don't let anyone rob you of your kindness your compassion, empathy and consideration. We all need each other because without us there's nothing to build and nothing to care about. There are only selfish childish people who would literally destroy everything without even realizing they're harming themselves too.
I fell out with my family a year ago and now I have no family and I have no friends, My goal is to travel and I’m working in that direction. I learned a lot this year that you can only rely on yourself
Well in parts what you say is true but there are times in our lives that we do need other people and I find it very sad that people cannot be there for you in your time of need but I hope you realise your goal of travel and you have an exciting year Kind regards Chris
My best friend from the age of 12 (47 now) and who was the most treasured person in my life, flaked off from me years ago and Its hard to really compare to that friendship now. It didn't last forever but it was worthwhile while it lasted.
About 10 years ago I was a party guy! I had these "friends" that I went out with and they were always good fun...then I got ill. I never heard from them, they couldn't even text me to ask how I was. I've never seen them since and tbh good riddance. They used me for good times, back then I was tall and good looking and popular with women. They rode on the back of that and that is all I was.
Good one. I've dropped 'em all over the years. Now I have adopted Quintin Crisp's philosophy...I only speak to people if they speak to me first, I only look at them if they force me too...very happy with that too...
Im in my late 50’s, and I don’t trust others. Been burned way too many times. I agree with your mum. I just never had time for disappointing relationships. I also agree with the person who said the maintenance of a friendship is usually one sided. I never had time to chase someone down to be my friend. I’ve gotten closer to people in work places, but those never carried into regular life. Although my children are grown with families, they are still where I spend time and effort.
You sound like a very grounded to normal person and everything is as it should be sometimes with life we get bogged down with friendships and all the lack of them but at least we have some people in our lives traditionally family who give Karen an oversight to our well-being and that is lovely kind regards, Chris
A friend to me is having someone present as i go through ups and downs moments in my life. And having a mutual respect with that person. Fun times are a bonus!
I think there’s a big difference between friends and people who are just acquaintances, but I don’t think that they’re the same thing. I’ve always believed that family should be first and friends should be second but at the same time if your family treats you as a second, why should you give them first place? I think it’s wise to know the difference between a friend and somebody who is just present.
Friends are difficult, it takes a long time to get to know someone especially to trust them,I have 2 friends, whom I see now and then, I also found church friends to be the ones that ditch you for no reason 😂 maybe because I say it how it is, who knows 😂
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I agree with your mother. I see people other than my family as aquantinces as I used to think it's called friends but clearly not. I always keep my circle small anyhow and being introverted it easier and more peace that way
My mum never had a friend all my life, she said other women were always jealous of her and always had to compete. I have always had friends some for many years that ended badly.
Generally speaking I find people to be a constant source of disappointment. Be they family, friends or acquaintances. So much so that as I've got older, I've simply removed myself from their lives.
I think friends that we meet through shared hobbies & who have similiar values can be worthwhile. I also think neighbours can be a great support to each other. But I think keeping our expectations of friendship realistic is important. Thanks for your daily vlogs always thought provoking 😊
When you are young you believe in friendship and think anyone can be your friend. Sooner or later, in time, you realise thay friendship is an illusion.
I've got the 3 contact rule. If I call or text, or message someone 3 times, and I don't hear anything back from them, then I will never contact them again... sometimes they will reconnect, sometimes they won't. The real people that like you will either pick up the phone when you call, or text you back within short order. The key is not abuse it. Try not to never call them when you need something. Eventually they won't pick up and you will be the reason that they aren't your friend anymore.
Your Mum is 100% correct. I have been disappointed so many times. Family is the main thing and you are exceptionally fortunate if you find genuine friendships outside of that.
WOW! It looks cold there. We are having our first freeze tonight here in Phoenix AZ 🌵 I have 2 friends that go back since childhood that I completely trust. Your Mom was a smart lady. I tell my kids to be careful with what they share also and only with their closest friend. My Mom always said if they'll do it with you they'll do it to you....and that's about gossiping so if I meet someone that starts gossiping right away I never trust them. 🥰💞👍🏻
*_She knew they had real-life genuine Malignant Narcissists even back in her day. She didn't know what they were called then. Or necessarily understand the evil science behind them. But she knew they were there. All along._* *_A smart woman. And an intelligent Mum ..._*
When I was younger I was very much an introvert. Later in life I started making the mistake of sharing too much with people I would often just meet. I think my attitude became trying to be friends with anyone. But bit by bit I started realizing that I was becoming an object of ridicule for sharing so much. So I started retracting back into a more self protective mode. I am now in a place in my life where I have several acquaintances - people I can have pleasant enough chats with - send memes to via Messenger - but, if I am honest, at 60 years old, I have no true friends. Part of me struggles with that fact. But another part of me accepts it as just being my reality.
I had a busy social life when my husband and I were young and were working full time. We socialized with some of my work friends and 2 of his and we also socialized with his sister and her husband and my brother and his wife and my cousin and her husband. We reconnected with an old friend of my husband’s and his wife when we were in our 50’s. Took 2 cruises with them and took yearly vacations with them for 9 years. Such a great time of life. Then I lost my mom, my step brother and a favorite aunt and uncle. A few years later, another aunt and uncle and my husband’s parents died. Then I lost my husband and 3 years later my cousin and 2 childhood friends. My husband’s sister lost her husband and moved to be near her grandchildren. 2 years ago my only sibling was diagnosed with a terminal illness. I never had children and the few remaining friends all have health issues ! I love my dog, I do volunteer work and exercise but life is not as much fun as it used to be…and I miss all my departed loved ones. We all think the people we love and care about will always be around..I’m here to tell you that is not true.
Sadly, the most invaluable fact about life is that we will all lose each other and when the time is right, we will eventually go as well and that’s what makes life so precious so enjoy what time you have left and I’m sending my best wishes and kindest regards, Chris
As soon as any friend of mine marries or gets into a serious love relationship, they basically disappear. They give up spending 99% of their time with their friends just to be with their partner. For me that's not acceptable, it feels like we don't matter for them anymore. If a person is your friend would't it be cool to spend time with her even if you are married? I feel like people are with each other when it suits them. I feel like all we have is family, theres no such thing as friends.
Well, part of it is context. In wartime, especially if you're a soldier, you can tell who is truly your friend. In peacetime, those stresses that would separate the wheat from the chaff hardly exist.
True words. I am a 60 yr old retired firefighter and my 'friends' were actually work acquaintances. I know it takes 2 parties to actually sustain a friendship and I may be at fault for these so-called failed friendships, but my friends have always been my wife and kids. That's a fact. And as we age it all becomes more apparent. Good day all.
a true friend is someone that would put their life on the line for you and not even lift a eyebrow doing it, I only had one true friend and he is dead and gone and that friend was a dog. when you are down and out you don't have any human friends or family, trust me semper fi.
I have one close friend and some other friends that I think care about me and are supportive. I think most people don't have more than a small number of true friends.
My Dad has plenty of friends and they all have something to gain from the "friendship". Would be interesting if he was flat broke if any of his 'friend's' would stay in touch.
I have a "friend" who I have known for over 20 years. When I expressed my opinion about Donald Trump she abruptly stopped speaking to me and answering my calls or emails. I have let her go, wished her well and moved on.
It's fear that keeps people from connecting. I've found in my life that if i opened up to someone i was letting that person in to attack me and put me down. A good friend is someone who can accept a person warts and all.
I left the whole "friendship" thing back in highschool and college. It is "money" and "time" that makes the world go round. In the real world, one would only want to be with you if they have something that they want like money or some other convenience. Only in hard times it's revealed who your friends really are.
I moved out of state after my divorce. My best friend lives two states away. I’m on my own. It this point in life I only what deep exchanges. I’ve got three friends I count in. But speak very rarely. I’m very experienced at being alone. Don’t hate it, just enjoy dinner dates, movies, and laughter.😊
My late wife (who had 5 kids) valued and loved family deeply but was sceptical about the reliability of friends. In the six months from her terminal cancer diagnosis to her death most of my friends proved she was right. Beware the words "If there's anything I can do, I'm here for you." This often means "Don't ask!". In fact, the true friends don't expect you to have to ask them. They simply turn out and turn up for you
The main difference between a friend and an acquaintance is the level of connection and trust in the relationship: Family, those familiar, are those we have spent enormous amounts of time and effort with. There is but one friend, you, pushing or pulling your desire to share yourself. Your mum was wrong, connection with just one of these, friend, acquaintance, family or self is only one way of sharing your love.
1:47 "are your friends really your friends or just acquaintances" I think a big problem is that people call others friends when they really aren't, friendship takes time to develop. No one has the time for hundreds or thousands of friends. I guess things like social media wouldn't be so "nice" if they called if "acquaintance list" instead of friends list. Edit: I remember an interesting quote from a tabletop RPG, there was a character that said something along the lines of "the difference between an acquaintance and a friend is 100 years". Said character was a dwarf and in that setting, it took so long for humans to befriend them that they pretty much became friends with the original humans grandchildren. I quite liked that quote, sadly I forgot where it came from.
Christopher, this is one of the great mysteries of life, in my opinion. Your mom was at least partially correct, I think. In times gone by, everyone was far more interdependent; society had far greater cohesiveness than it does today. That cohesiveness went a long way toward fostering friendships. Today, people are much more isolated than when I was growing-up.
I completely agree I think people are somewhat have several degrees of separation from each other and I think society has shifted. That’s my family means so much how times change as always thanks for sharing. Kindest regards Chris.
Oprah said Gayle has been her friend for 50 years because Gayle likes her life and wants the best for Oprah . The thing is that friends are not supposed to compete with you or be happy when you fall. I have my wife as a friend for 43 years but as sweet as she is I have seen friends compete and back stab her when she is loving, beautiful and loyal.
My Dad and stepmother had no problem asking me for financial help; for them and other siblings. When I went through a very dark time in my life all I got was crickets from them and friends. The only two that supported me were the owners of a business that I worked for, I have thanked God often for them. Their names are Tony and Warren. That was in the early 80s, I have since retired from same company.
We are social creatures, yes humans need friends and social connections. Looks like someone had hurt your mom in the past for her to develop that belief system. People will be unhappy and just wither away if they don't have that sense of community.
Your mom was spot on about "friends" are really acquaintances. My grandmother said to me when I was a teenager that if you can count your friends on one finger count yourself lucky. Pets have always felt more like my friends. I have accepted it and am at peace with that.
I'm in my 50s and been homeless more than once, autistic and partially deaf ... Not a friend or family anywhere to be seen lol. My best buddy is my border collie, a dog really is man's best friend 🐕. 🇬🇧
I’m sorry to hear no one would help you. That saddens me. As you know I’ve got a dog called buzz. He’s my friend too. X
Yes, dogs, esp Border Collies are just the very best.
Hang in there m8 your not alone
And your dawg doesn't cheat on you or steal your beer!😮
I'm mid 40's and from a small family I have no siblings and my parents have no friends at all, never did have. I got divorced 5 years ago and slowly things have gone from bad to worse. I have struggled with mental health issues since my divorce and unfortunately lost my job early December. I am now currently homeless with not one single friend. I question if I've pushed the few I had away, or if they were indeed ever friends at all?
I’m 54 years old and I’ve been at my job for 25 years. I was always the one who went the extra mile, to stay connected with a couple of “Friends” at work and outside of the workplace. But I tried an experiment within the past year. I slowed down purposely, on communication with these people. Just to see if they would put in the effort to stay connected. They didn’t. People become lazy and spoiled. They expect you to do all of the work. But I was gullible enough to keep reaching out. Now, I don’t talk to anyone. It’s actually better that way. Can’t be mixed up with anything, or trouble, if you stay to yourself. Just something that I’ve noticed as I’ve grown older.
Yes but it still makes me sad because I was that person too and now I can't put any more energy towards people that don't reciprocate
I am in retirement community now, people move around the country as timegoes on, and get involved locally, close friends die off then things change. Keeping aquaintences casual is best.
I'm going through the exact same thing...lol !!! Once you stop putting in the effort, the "friendship" dies!
@@maryrosehallowed6662 , same here I've done my own experiments and have had the same results as in the main blogs theme
I noticed the same thing when I got divorced. The Ex, who cheated on me and everyone actually knew it, actually got all the married friends, because the wives forced their husbands to pick sides. I was the one who cleaned up the house for them when they came over then did all the grilling and made sure they had the beer they all wanted. Afterwards, dummy me even left HER the house with all the main furniture to give my kids stability and she turned them against me.
Same can be said for family
Very true, most people are selfish and opportunistic by nature, including parents.
@@junyelu5897we have all been conditioned from birth to act a certain way
So very sadly true
I had a kind mother, a mean brother and one of my daughters but have two long life friends who always been there for me throughout my life. I feel blessed after listening to you.
Wisest thing ever read on TH-cam.
Yes acquaintances come and go but true friends are a few. As you get older I'd say you are lucky to have 1 or 2 real friends.
Right👍. Even one can be rare.
Totally agree, 58 years wise here.
So so true. I’m 56, and despite being very friendly & outgoing I can honestly say I have 1-2 real, long term true friends 😍
100% I’ve ALWAYS felt and said the same.
I would say you are very correct..
So true I'm 49 asocial and I have no friends either I isolated myself from society and I feel better in my solitude
Misanthropism is its own reward.
Hahaha in the understanding of the schiziodisum i find reality has become too expensive and unsafe to be in this world reality is why we consider isolation,and the desperate understand of the selfs and others ,study personality disorders in isolation your have endless fascination of people and the way they are.
I’m 50 and feel the same way. No friends. I do have wife, kids and parents. Good enough.
I even go to church online as several friends do also. I'm not involved w/ organized groups anymore. They don't appreciate anything or show gratitude.
I've come to realize that no there are no friends. Ones I thought were I found out years later they were jealous of me. Very heartbreaking.
Me too. Things changed a couple years ago, I started understanding things better. Sometimes I wonder if time will bring a healing or is it for ever
@@Claire-gy5cv I am into retirement now I spot things about insincere people over time who don't appreciate simple things.
Hopefully you found out before they tried to get with your partner…. Tried to steal your purse ,,or jewelry.
I grew in the same mining village as my wife. Angela was always a gorgeous, kind, humble and highly intelligent girl. The boys including me all wanted to have her attention. She was always kind to us and made us all feel included. Her girlfriends where all covert narcissist's that hide their jealousy and anger for her. Every girlfriend took out acts of revenge and hate against her. Married 43 years I have the best friend in the world and even at 63 she looks amazing and even dogs love her as I do. Sadly , no female could ever be her friend and they are missing out on such a kind , funny person.
I had a Couple of friends but they never make the effort to meet up , I feel as if they take pleasure in my sadness and I have now stopped messaging them .
I leave the communication options open but I don’t think I will ever hear from them and it is sad , but I don’t want Pity , I want a friend to want to meet up
And not out of pity .
Can you understand that ?
An old chap I knew always said, when you got a Pound in yer pocket you’ll always have a friend.
Your Mum is right, family members are very fickle too...cant rely on them... i have couple of good friends but thats it.... i have been back stabbed, and used, never again, lots use us for what they want...most friendships run its course...
Absolutely spot on…my situation to a tee 🥲
@@davidgardner7565 we live and learn....never putting myself out there too much again, been there done that...be happy within yourself 🥰🥰
Yup
My father tod me that the only person you can trust is yourself.
I thought this a bit cynical but with time and experience I have found this to be true.
💯
very true
Yourself and very often your mother, due to maternal instinct.
Genetics can outpower Ego drive.
We are in essence egoistic creatures.
Society empowers this antihuman behaviour
A good acquaintance is better than a bad friend.
Acquaintances is what I have, no friends.
Transactional nature of relations.
Here in 3D it is more rule.
In scarcity society you are always looked upon as potential source.
My dad use to say if you have one good friend your entire life your lucky.
I had a high school teacher who used to tell us the same thing.
I have myself and solitude, never bored, never alone.
Like
All of this is so true. I had a very wonderful, smart and honest teacher in high school that told us daily, 'you are lucky if you leave this world with 2 friends'. He always taught us that friendships are not what we think they are.
Terrific episode,especially at Christmas time.We see television advertising with multi generational big families sat around the dinner table which for me sums up the pressures it puts on people which leads to a feeling of lack/loss.
Be self sufficient where possible…. Strength comes from within,try not to seek validation from others.
Fuck the TV and it's programming.
How many people really enjoy that Christmas gathering? (Truthful answer: almost certainly none).
maybe in different cultures, different continents... maybe. for sure not in the western world
It's a merchandising holiday-so stuff can be sold......
Similar to what my mum used to tell me. She used to say don’t tell your business to people, you are just filling their mouths. 😂
' Friendship is only a word , I have no friends '. Napoleon
Napolean was a very wise man..
Napoleon was a wise man
I partly agree with your mum, I have one best friend I have had since school a few others but not really close. As I have got older I have backed off from people. My last friendship who I thought was a good friend of seven years turned out to be narcissistic and I had to walk away, it’s put me off wanting to get close to anyone. I value peace and calm more than toxicity or fair weather friends.
Absolutely right to take what your Mum said on board. It's very rare to have true friends. Also I'm finding inlaws have hidden agends too. My grown up children are my best friends as they really do have my best interests at heart and would never use or take advantage of my kindness. I do take everyone at face value until the do or say something, then they are gone.
A true friend will be there without question. In 47 years, I'd say I've had 2. My beautiful wife and one good buddy. All the rest qualify as acquaintances. Your mom makes a great point.
My mother and father had this very conversation with me when I was a very young man. Family turned their back on them and they had very few friends. My father had a specific way of parsing the difference between 'acquaintances' and 'friends' and noted that a person is lucky to have (at best) only a single friend or perhaps two in an entire lifetime. It's a sad truth - but one none the less.
You come into this world alone and you depart alone.
You are not wrong. I dont have real friends, someone I would tell all and who would drop everything for me. I had one, but he is gone now across the veil. Knowing him and how mutual understanding could really be, changed my understanding of real friendship. And I haven't been a real friend myself either, there has to be the same vibe and understanding in a big extent and sometimes its just not there anymore if we move forward in life facing our challenges.
I have some nice acquaintances.
And I get that too. Life is complicated sometimes but thanks for sharing your experience. Best wishes, Chris
I’m 59 now and thought had real friends many times! Now think only person you can really rely on is yourself. Prefer to keep to myself now and as many do look to my dog for unconditional love and friendship
People are with you for a reason-a season or a lifetime
A Real friend is there for you no matter what and is thoughtful, compassionate and kind!
Most people are not your friends, especially people who talk about others!
Your mother was a wise lady Chris! 🤗😘❤️🌟⭐️❤️🌟⭐️💫
I thought i would regret letting people go, but i dont regret a thing ive actually set them free. It's always wise to keep your own council. Sage words from my grandmother.
After my husband died 19 years ago, all my friends disappeared. Just because yo have siblings or relatives doesn't mean they are you friends. I was lucky to have a connection with my cousin and still do.
I also have a connection with my cousin. Such a lovely person.
Her father, i.e. my uncle, watches over me more than my own family.
Yes ...so true....now more than ever! The times have surely changed. People don't want to make an effort!😢
Exactly.
Friendships are overrated - there are only situationships - you are born alone & you will die alone . . anything in between is just the journey . . . passing ships in the night . . . as a "giver" I realised soon people are inherently selfish & only really look out for themselves . .
Dogs....THATS IT !!!!
They will always be your best friend…🐶
@@kenrowland7864 And 🐱 🐈⬛ 🐈 cats 👍
Lots of my friends have passed away. I mean real true friends.
Same here I was very fortunate to have three best buddies in that without a doubt if you were in trouble didn't have to question if they'll be there unfortunately they all passed away at a young age if I didn't have those memories I would probably wonder what life was really meant for also my three siblings passed away and my parents and just less than 11 months and my wife of 20 years now my ex wife but I try to keep my head up got to be a reason why I'm still here well sorry for a long comment but your post and caught my attention that's what my father told me the best of luck to you my friend
Many decades down the line, I realize that I’ve always been ..alone. Even people who used to care and kind of like you will eventually change. Nothing stays. People care for number one: their own selves. The rest is fake. They somehow simply use us for their own selves. I’ve also learned to stop bending over forward for people, I was not necessarily appreciated. Uness they’re truly humane, grateful.., compassionate and empathetic (which is rarer nowadays), you’re not necessarily appreciated. You end up alone anyways or even despised for the help you gave them. It can even be that crazy nowadays.Same goes for family.. . So when people tell us: I care and love you, that means nothing. The next day, you soon can see their true egotistical self-centred nature and what they said meant ..nothing. I’m not naive. Your mom had flair, smarts and insight. 👌And so have you looks like. Good thing. My friends are our guides up there I believe. Heaven never lets us down. Don’t know how it works but it works. I know my father has always been there for me up there. That I can testify to.
Some interesting points here. But thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts. Kind regards Chris
@@snapperurban My pleasure. I certainly can relate.👍
Dont talk bad about yourself. Your friends will do it for you.
I think it is sad but true, people don't trust anyone anymore. People lie and use you like a paper napkin, and then throw you away or backstab you, and lie and cheat and take advantage of you. That's not a friend.
In my case, my friends don't call me to find out about my business, they just want to talk about their problems at work, family, etc. and after an hour of listening and trying to advise, they don't even ask you how you are, I'm better alone.
Wow ! Beautifully said. Learning this the wiser I get.
Glad it was helpful!
Friends? Bah humbug. I buried my hubby 3 weeks after he was diagnosed with cancer. He helped so many people. One person sent their condolences. I was totally alone at his burial.😢
😢 That is sad... Hope you are ok. ❤
I’m very sorry ♥️
Aww hope you are doing ok ❤@@Dreamer-by4nk
This is so sad it’s made me want to reach out and say hi and I hope you have support from someone. If not my email is available just reach out at this difficult time. I send my condolences and hope. Chris
Be strong Julia, for yourself be strong! Live your life in good shape Julia, keep yourself healthy and contented in the simple things. Kind thoughts for you Julia. 😘🍀
I have more good acquaintances now as I am older than friends. The "friends" in my past seemed to do just that...find out your business and gossip. They definitely weren't there when I needed them but expected me to be there for them. Then the competitions began as young adults starting families and it only got worse. I got tired of the drama and bowed out.
i'm 71 yrs old and i've had 3 very good friends in my lifetime. lost all 3 of them in the last 4 yrs. it's sad. family is gone and now friends are gone. i don't have the energy to make more. i don't trust people any longer. so there's no use in going out and trying to make friends because i won't be a good friend to them.
Maybe you have friends in the early years... But trust me when you have a real life crisis. You will know. You are really in your own...
So true. The pandemic hit me hard in a couple ways and I got real sad for the first time in 30 years of life! Not the person who always has their ish together. I didn't need more from my friends than them sincerely telling me it'll all work out...and they got confused, I guess)) I kept talking to one after another waiting for someone to remind me how I've pulled through stuff before, someone who really believes in me, but no. Now that things are better than ever I'm alone, what a joke
@@Claire-gy5cv i know... People will let you down, full of promises that don't happen... If ever you want here for a chat. 👋🙂
I realised this at 21. Im 22 now I don’t depend on anyone, or beg anyone to help me I work hard everyday. We truly have ourselves. The only person that I’ve seen that as my best interest at heart is my mother. There’s nothing like motherly love. (I’m aware not everyone has amazing mothers, but for the most part mothers are always their for their children through the joy, the pain )
That's such a shame. I have found friends to be a huge, huge support throughout life. You just have to have high standards and accept nothing less than integrity and good values. I think with those things on the decline, it's fair to say it's harder to make friends nowadays.
I have one friend. We met in college. My entire family died thirty years ago. I've suffered for years with chronic illness. She is my power of attorney and in charge of disposing of me. We've been real friends for over forty years. She calls me once a week. I'm now in Iowa and she's back home in Alabama. I agree with you. Too many people use others as entertainment. I went through this a few years ago. Hard to see when you are in the middle of it. I truly wish I had never left Alabama. Now I'm stuck in a place where no one cares.
Thanks for sharing your story it’s very touching. I wish you well I really do. Sending prayers and hope for the future. Kind regards Chris
Your Mum is right. People come into our lives, for a reason, season or lifetime……family & friends, can be a distraction or an aid, to discovering yourself……….the journey within, which is what you are doing now. Our sole (or soul!) purpose in this life, is to reach enlightenment & consciousness as to who we are & return to our original source……..we are in the world, but not of it…
By the time we get to our age, you can count the ‘friends’ on less than one hand.
In that case, why did we leave the "original source" in the first place? Most new age/religious philosophies describe that state of being as "perfection". So, again, if it was perfect, why did we choose to leave it?
Once you apply logic, such statements as yours, and all the others, RAPIDLY fall apart.
@@bobjames6622 I cant teach you, you have to learn. None of us have left the original source, it’s within you as energy, that’s what you are. Some people vibrate at different frequencies, like magnetism. This energy is either pulled or repelled. Energy cannot be destroyed, only transferred. So If you want to apply your logic, then energy has to come from where it is created & energy is perfection in itself. You cannot see or touch it, ot just is. You cannot grasp or explain it, either, it has to be felt. Maybe it’s because you’re applying labels & logic & are stuck in dense energy of the mind. Look into cymatics, sacred geometry, quantum physics & learn what resonates with you, in order to understand yourself better.
@@speciallion1135 Just a lot of new age waffle as an "answer". Just as I thought there would be.
The meaning of an organisms existence is to survive and propagate it's genetic material, the same as all other organisms. it's the reason we have all these senses. why we evolved and why you exist. Had your ancestors not procreated and ensured their off springs survival you would not be here today. Humans evolved as social creatures to ensure survival of our species. Humans evolve to live cooperatively to live in herds then communities together and this is advantageous to all the human beings in the community. It's only through cooperation and compromise that we can create the type of mutually beneficial society that we need to create in order to survive and thrive as a species. in order to achieve that humans have had to develop things like empathy, guilt, shame, remorse and we need other humans for companionship in order to thrive emotionally psychologically and even physically.
Centuries ago humans didn't really survive past their mid 30s or 40s, many died even younger or in infancy and they didn't have time to sit around pondering on life they were more concerned with basic survival...it's only because of science, technology and health care by a small percent of geniuses that we are around much longer now. Just because humans are more intelligence with bigger brains doesn't mean we have a higher purpose than other organisms. It's only our own narcissism than makes us believe we are above basic biology. All your ancestors before you who made sacrifices were not just building up for you to live a self centred existence.
Of course there are antisocial personalities like narcissists and psychopaths who did not develop these things(biology is not perfect) usually due to trauma, abuse and neglect in childhood, but most humans did develop empathy and a conscience and are prosocial and are able to bond and care for other humans. A society comprised entirely or even mostly of antisocial personalities would not be sustainable. Without respect for the rights of others and adherence to basic rules of decency society falls apart. Keep your Humanity because we all need it. Don't let anyone rob you of your kindness your compassion, empathy and consideration. We all need each other because without us there's nothing to build and nothing to care about. There are only selfish childish people who would literally destroy everything without even realizing they're harming themselves too.
I fell out with my family a year ago and now I have no family and I have no friends, My goal is to travel and I’m working in that direction.
I learned a lot this year that you can only rely on yourself
Well in parts what you say is true but there are times in our lives that we do need other people and I find it very sad that people cannot be there for you in your time of need but I hope you realise your goal of travel and you have an exciting year Kind regards Chris
My best friend from the age of 12 (47 now) and who was the most treasured person in my life, flaked off from me years ago and Its hard to really compare to that friendship now.
It didn't last forever but it was worthwhile while it lasted.
About 10 years ago I was a party guy! I had these "friends" that I went out with and they were always good fun...then I got ill. I never heard from them, they couldn't even text me to ask how I was. I've never seen them since and tbh good riddance. They used me for good times, back then I was tall and good looking and popular with women. They rode on the back of that and that is all I was.
Good one. I've dropped 'em all over the years. Now I have adopted Quintin Crisp's philosophy...I only speak to people if they speak to me first, I only look at them if they force me too...very happy with that too...
Im in my late 50’s, and I don’t trust others. Been burned way too many times. I agree with your mum. I just never had time for disappointing relationships. I also agree with the person who said the maintenance of a friendship is usually one sided. I never had time to chase someone down to be my friend. I’ve gotten closer to people in work places, but those never carried into regular life. Although my children are grown with families, they are still where I spend time and effort.
You sound like a very grounded to normal person and everything is as it should be sometimes with life we get bogged down with friendships and all the lack of them but at least we have some people in our lives traditionally family who give Karen an oversight to our well-being and that is lovely kind regards, Chris
🌈🕊🙏well done, keep going, thank you.
A friend to me is having someone present as i go through ups and downs moments in my life. And having a mutual respect with that person. Fun times are a bonus!
You childhood friends are the only friends that csn be your friends, others like college or coworkers are always going to be acquaintance.
I think there’s a big difference between friends and people who are just acquaintances, but I don’t think that they’re the same thing.
I’ve always believed that family should be first and friends should be second but at the same time if your family treats you as a second, why should you give them first place?
I think it’s wise to know the difference between a friend and somebody who is just present.
friends is a concept for children. be realistic people !
Friends are difficult, it takes a long time to get to know someone especially to trust them,I have 2 friends, whom I see now and then, I also found church friends to be the ones that ditch you for no reason 😂 maybe because I say it how it is, who knows 😂
At least you’re being yourself and that’s why people should respect you. Kind regards Chris
Church people can be the worst!!!!!! So many clowns in church .
One book I recommend everyone to read in 2025 is Your Life Your Game by Keezano… It beautifully shows how embracing faith and nurturing meaningful relationships can lead to spiritual growth and success in both your personal and professional life. This book truly changed my life-a must-read. Thank you
thank you soo much
I agree with your Mum, they are aquaintences none of them want to know when your down and troubled. Humans most of them ar Fickle
Exactly.
I know i had friends for the closeness enough to give me a precious help in the worst times, that is precious, also they were more helpful than lovers
I agree with your mother. I see people other than my family as aquantinces as I used to think it's called friends but clearly not. I always keep my circle small anyhow and being introverted it easier and more peace that way
My mum never had a friend all my life, she said other women were always jealous of her and always had to compete. I have always had friends some for many years that ended badly.
I have always been there for my friends. But when I need something? Forget about it.
Yep , it's so true , well done for highlighting that,
Generally speaking I find people to be a constant source of disappointment.
Be they family, friends or acquaintances. So much so that as I've got older, I've simply removed myself from their lives.
disappointment comes with knowing others .goes with the territory
I think friends that we meet through shared hobbies & who have similiar values can be worthwhile.
I also think neighbours can be a great support to each other. But I think keeping our expectations of friendship realistic is important. Thanks for your daily vlogs always thought provoking 😊
Thanks so much. Chris
When you are young you believe in friendship and think anyone can be your friend. Sooner or later, in time, you realise thay friendship is an illusion.
I've got the 3 contact rule. If I call or text, or message someone 3 times, and I don't hear anything back from them, then I will never contact them again... sometimes they will reconnect, sometimes they won't. The real people that like you will either pick up the phone when you call, or text you back within short order. The key is not abuse it. Try not to never call them when you need something. Eventually they won't pick up and you will be the reason that they aren't your friend anymore.
When You're back is against the wall, there is the exam that most people fail by default.....
55 years on this earth has taught me that.
Friends are usually family you can rely on…very few.
Your Mum is 100% correct. I have been disappointed so many times. Family is the main thing and you are exceptionally fortunate if you find genuine friendships outside of that.
Thanks for sharing! And well said. Kind regards Chris
Many people have very abusive parents/relatives.
WOW! It looks cold there. We are having our first freeze tonight here in Phoenix AZ 🌵 I have 2 friends that go back since childhood that I completely trust. Your Mom was a smart lady. I tell my kids to be careful with what they share also and only with their closest friend. My Mom always said if they'll do it with you they'll do it to you....and that's about gossiping so if I meet someone that starts gossiping right away I never trust them. 🥰💞👍🏻
*_She knew they had real-life genuine Malignant Narcissists even back in her day. She didn't know what they were called then. Or necessarily understand the evil science behind them. But she knew they were there. All along._* *_A smart woman. And an intelligent Mum ..._*
I was just about to type exactly what your mum said. She was spot on.
When I was younger I was very much an introvert. Later in life I started making the mistake of sharing too much with people I would often just meet. I think my attitude became trying to be friends with anyone. But bit by bit I started realizing that I was becoming an object of ridicule for sharing so much. So I started retracting back into a more self protective mode. I am now in a place in my life where I have several acquaintances - people I can have pleasant enough chats with - send memes to via Messenger - but, if I am honest, at 60 years old, I have no true friends. Part of me struggles with that fact. But another part of me accepts it as just being my reality.
I had a busy social life when my husband and I were young and were working full time.
We socialized with some of my work friends and 2 of his and we also socialized with his sister and her husband and my brother and his wife and my cousin and her husband.
We reconnected with an old friend of my husband’s and his wife when we were in our 50’s. Took
2 cruises with them and took yearly vacations with them for 9 years. Such a great time of life.
Then I lost my mom, my step brother and a favorite aunt and uncle. A few years later, another
aunt and uncle and my husband’s parents died.
Then I lost my husband and 3 years later my cousin and 2 childhood friends. My husband’s sister lost her husband and moved to be near her grandchildren.
2 years ago my only sibling was diagnosed with a terminal illness.
I never had children and the few remaining friends all have health issues ! I love my dog, I do volunteer work and
exercise but life is not as much fun as it used to be…and I miss all my departed loved ones. We all think the people we love
and care about will always be around..I’m here to tell you that is not true.
Sadly, the most invaluable fact about life is that we will all lose each other and when the time is right, we will eventually go as well and that’s what makes life so precious so enjoy what time you have left and I’m sending my best wishes and kindest regards, Chris
As soon as any friend of mine marries or gets into a serious love relationship, they basically disappear. They give up spending 99% of their time with their friends just to be with their partner. For me that's not acceptable, it feels like we don't matter for them anymore. If a person is your friend would't it be cool to spend time with her even if you are married? I feel like people are with each other when it suits them. I feel like all we have is family, theres no such thing as friends.
yes 2 of my friends got together,he moved in.never the same.
Well, part of it is context. In wartime, especially if you're a soldier, you can tell who is truly your friend. In peacetime, those stresses that would separate the wheat from the chaff hardly exist.
True words. I am a 60 yr old retired firefighter and my 'friends' were actually work acquaintances. I know it takes 2 parties to actually sustain a friendship and I may be at fault for these so-called failed friendships, but my friends have always been my wife and kids. That's a fact. And as we age it all becomes more apparent. Good day all.
My mum said exactly the same Chris…..brilliant vlog again….if you’re very lucky you have maybe two genuine friends
Remember no man is a failure who has friends! (“It’s a wonderful life”).
It depends on your definition of what a friend is is suppose.
a true friend is someone that would put their life on the line for you and not even lift a eyebrow doing it, I only had one true friend and he is dead and gone and that friend was a dog. when you are down and out you don't have any human friends or family, trust me semper fi.
I've learn't this over the years! I trust in God - He never lets me down.
Keep it in your pants, Christard.
💯 right
No friends , no family, just you.
I have one close friend and some other friends that I think care about me and are supportive. I think most people don't have more than a small number of true friends.
My Dad has plenty of friends and they all have something to gain from the "friendship". Would be interesting if he was flat broke if any of his 'friend's' would stay in touch.
I have a "friend" who I have known for over 20 years. When I expressed my opinion about Donald Trump she abruptly stopped speaking to me and answering my calls or emails. I have let her go, wished her well and moved on.
Sometimes that's all it takes. You did the right thing. All the best. X
It's fear that keeps people from connecting. I've found in my life that if i opened up to someone i was letting that person in to attack me and put me down. A good friend is someone who can accept a person warts and all.
I left the whole "friendship" thing back in highschool and college. It is "money" and "time" that makes the world go round. In the real world, one would only want to be with you if they have something that they want like money or some other convenience. Only in hard times it's revealed who your friends really are.
I moved out of state after my divorce. My best friend lives two states away. I’m on my own. It this point in life I only what deep exchanges. I’ve got three friends I count in. But speak very rarely. I’m very experienced at being alone. Don’t hate it, just enjoy dinner dates, movies, and laughter.😊
Your mum wasn’t too far wrong Chris. Wise woman 🧠💚🍀✨💫
Thank you for saying she was a wonderful woman you would have liked her! Thank you 🙏🏻 Chris
My late wife (who had 5 kids) valued and loved family deeply but was sceptical about the reliability of friends. In the six months from her terminal cancer diagnosis to her death most of my friends proved she was right.
Beware the words "If there's anything I can do, I'm here for you." This often means "Don't ask!". In fact, the true friends don't expect you to have to ask them. They simply turn out and turn up for you
The main difference between a friend and an acquaintance is the level of connection and trust in the relationship: Family, those familiar, are those we have spent enormous amounts of time and effort with. There is but one friend, you, pushing or pulling your desire to share yourself. Your mum was wrong, connection with just one of these, friend, acquaintance, family or self is only one way of sharing your love.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts I do appreciate it. It’s always good to see others perspectives. Chris
1:47 "are your friends really your friends or just acquaintances"
I think a big problem is that people call others friends when they really aren't, friendship takes time to develop. No one has the time for hundreds or thousands of friends. I guess things like social media wouldn't be so "nice" if they called if "acquaintance list" instead of friends list.
Edit: I remember an interesting quote from a tabletop RPG, there was a character that said something along the lines of "the difference between an acquaintance and a friend is 100 years". Said character was a dwarf and in that setting, it took so long for humans to befriend them that they pretty much became friends with the original humans grandchildren. I quite liked that quote, sadly I forgot where it came from.
Christopher, this is one of the great mysteries of life, in my opinion. Your mom was at least partially correct, I think. In times gone by, everyone was far more interdependent; society had far greater cohesiveness than it does today. That cohesiveness went a long way toward fostering friendships. Today, people are much more isolated than when I was growing-up.
I completely agree I think people are somewhat have several degrees of separation from each other and I think society has shifted. That’s my family means so much how times change as always thanks for sharing. Kindest regards Chris.
i like people,half hour chat with a stranger is very nice.
My father always said if a person has three true friends in your life you had three more than the majority.
Oprah said Gayle has been her friend for 50 years because Gayle likes her life and wants the best for Oprah . The thing is that friends are not supposed to compete with you or be happy when you fall. I have my wife as a friend for 43 years but as sweet as she is I have seen friends compete and back stab her when she is loving, beautiful and loyal.
The worst thing that ever happened to me came from my friends, some of whom I had known for 25 years.
Please elaborate.
?
This is not the place.
My Dad and stepmother had no problem asking me for financial help; for them and other siblings. When I
went through a very dark time in my life all I got was crickets from them and friends. The only two that supported
me were the owners of a business that I worked for, I have thanked God often for them. Their names are
Tony and Warren. That was in the early 80s, I have since retired from same company.
We are social creatures, yes humans need friends and social connections. Looks like someone had hurt your mom in the past for her to develop that belief system. People will be unhappy and just wither away if they don't have that sense of community.