Tutoring is a job, you forced him to miss work, you need to reimburse him for the money he lost due to you being a tool and refusing to take no as his answer.
Yes, absolutely this. Forcing someone to miss work to do something for "family" is utterly ridiculous, and only done by people who take others for granted.
1st story: Did anyone else notice how the parents of the ex had the knee-jerk reaction to offer to replace/get a better car for the son if his parents wouldn't press charges on their daughter? I'm willing to bet that: A:They did that the brother's entire life when he was under 18 (which is why he agreed to help her damage the car) B: Have bought a lot of stuff to appease the parents for other victims of their daughter (which is why she laughed) C: All of the above
Son story:she absolutely should send her son to the farm. Her kid just thought it was acceptable to call CPS on her for not giving him what he wants. Kid probably thought it would be a good tool to get his mom to give him what he wants and didn't expect this response. And quite frankly I think it's a good thing for him to not be able to hang out with his friends because one has to wonder where he got this behavior and ideas. Clearly he didn't get it from his father and most likely didn't get it from his mother so another option is his peers.
I had a coworker who had a teenage son that was misbehaving. She’s filipino so they sent the son to Philippines to live with family. That kid straightened up pretty quickly 😂
@@nix_ right I mean like say CPS did decide to take him away no matter what she said what then? If he didn't have a father or any family willing to take him in, he'd be trading his comfortable life with his loving mom for the system all because he wanted cake and Burger King.
I'm just remembering a skit a comedian did; he was telling the audience about when he was a kid, and how there was a kid in his class who was just like this boy. Comedian was Indian, born of immigrant parents, and the other kid was white. OB (other boy) told him to just threaten to call CPS on his parents, and that it works every time, so one day, he tried it. *Dad:* Go ahead. *Comedian:* 0_0' . . .I will! I'll do it!!! *Dad:* Good. There's the phone. But just so you know? It'll take CPS at least fifteen minutes to get here, and that's IF they have an agent ready to go. And until they get here? Somebody's gonna get a hurting. Dude never tried that one again.
It’s honestly a little scary the amount of girls that think destroying their ex’s property is a justifiable response to being dumped. NTA OP and whatever you do: DONT DROP THE CHARGES
My nastiest breakup, all I did was leave his stuff on the doorstep in a box. Also put him on blast on social media and warn everyone that he was a cheater. It wasn't my stuff to destroy, as much as I would have liked to do so.
Son from hell: I know someone that went through the same thing including the CPS call. Eventually CPS took the kid and put him in a foster. The foster parents kept sending him back because he was more than they could handle. He would destroy other people's belongings, punch holes in walls, and shatter windows not to mention lying about the foster families and teachers just to get his way. He threatened one family with a steak knife he stole from a restaurant. He had multiple therapists, one of which he struck. His violence got even worse as he neared adulthood and he is not a small man. It's shocking and sad but the honest truth is some children have issues that are beyond what parents, therapists, and CPS can cope with. My recommendation is a reputable psychiatrist. It might actually come to the point of needing to institutionalize a child. It sounds horrible but some people need constant professional supervision. My heart goes out to OP and anyone else that has to deal with an extremely violent child.
Residential treatment centers for behavioral issues are what is needed for kids like that. By the sound of it he's running the show and he needs everything taken from him and his entire life needs to be structured from the moment he wakes up until he goes to bed. I was in a treatment center for 2 1/2 years, ages 14-16 & it honestly changed who I was. It was a PPC program, positive peer culture & it sounds like that kid needs something like that because nothing else has worked including foster care. Juvy or d.o.c. are next because he's going to start getting charged and it only escalates from there. If he wants to avoid prison a residential treatment facility is what he needs.
This sounds like someone I grew up with. Before he was taken away, he actually had grabbed a chef's knife from the kitchen and chased sister and Babysitter into a closet one night. They were stuck in there until parents got home.
The first story is funny because you could press charges and sue them and they would still have to pay for it because shes a minor. They probably know this so theyre trying to make it seem like theyre offering a deal.
I was chanting "call cps" throughout the entire roommate story! That girl needs out of there before mommy gets a new roommate who hurts her or she's left home alone and starves 😔 That poor angel
The story with the son throwing the fits: give him to CPS, if he wants to play these games that bad. See how many games he gets to play when he's being tossed from foster home to foster home.
CPS story: sorry but I would have sent the boy to a camp for troubled youths. He's a danger to the OP. What will happen when the son gets bigger and stronger than the OP? He could really hurt her
Sounds like OP's ex will probably be able to provide a similarly suitable environment for the boy. Hope OP really sent him there, and weren't fooled to take him back too early.
The kid is spoiled and he also has rage issues. Not only does he need an attitude adjustment he probably needs medication. The very things he's whining about are the very things that are making him miserable to live with. Shipping him off to the farm sounds like the ticket. Make him aware that if he continues in this fashion there's plenty more where this came from.
This is what happens when you let the TV raise your child and then you come into their life 17 years later and decide you suddenly want to parent them because their behavior is out of line the time to fix this was 13 years ago these are all the consequences of her parenting decisions. He could really hurt her and she deserves it because all he's giving her is physical retaliation against his emotional pain that she has given him.
I can't believe that roommate story. I hope little Ella is placed with someone who actually cares for her. Ops definitely not an asshole for exploding. I'm a single mom and have been doing it for 5 1/2 years now, and I understand the need for a mini break from the kid but DEFINITELY not at the expense of my daughter's well-being and safety.
I get the need of "needing a break " too but the mother can't go no contact, as if an emergency came up hospitals etc. need a parents permissions and information in regards to the child, also make agreed upon arrangements.
4:38 “I told him to cancel his tutoring sessions (Ie: his job that gives him income) and take care of my child” but don’t want to pay him?! And SHE has the gall to call HIM greedy?! What an entitled B!
I hope the OP being left with the child is ok. They must have been stuck in emergency-mode for DAYS if not weeks worrying for this child. I'm glad they finally reached out to the internet to get the nudge they needed to move on to call CPS. Dumping a child on them is not fair to them or the child.
@@AliceRinGameLand They're talking about the last story, where OP ditched her daughter for 3 days. Not the second story, where the guy ditched his daughter with his BIL and made him drop a few tutoring sessions. The latter is a delusional AH, the former is not
I'd like an update where the son got shipped to his dad's house. He needs discipline and structure and Op cant provide it. He lied to his teacher who called CPS because he didn't get frigging cake or burger King for breakfast. He needs a rude awakening. Maybe being away and getting the tough discipline his dad would give him will make him value his mother more and his dad as well.
Re the unpaid sitter, uncle sounds like a male chauvinist. There is no reason I should pay nephew who lost $$ when he canceled tutoring sessions because baby sitting and tutoring are women's work not worth compensation. Everyone loves kids and should want to spend time entertaining mine--for free.
S1 Judgement: NTA Reason: Lana shouldn't cause property damage if she CANNOT pay for it. Lana thought that ruining her ex-boyfriend's car was a just cause for him breaking up with her. Do not drop the charges. S2 Judgement: YTA. Reason: "But he's family and the last thing he should be doing is asking for money because he babysat his niece." The entitlement that reeks from this post is astounding. Just because he is family, you think that he is obligated to drop whatever he is doing, tutoring sessions or no, because you have an appointment that you cannot get rescheduled? No! BIL put what he wanted aside, knowing that he would miss out on this money, and did because you needed help! He is completely, in my opinion, within his right to expect financial compensation for watching his niece. Putting this in a legal sense, daycare workers get paid for taking care of kids, so why can't BIL? Where I him, I wouldn't babysit till you paid me for my time.
@@GiordanDiodato I agree, it can be incredibly difficult. However, that is no excuse, and OP should have known better. Family is not free labor; they are not someone who shouldn't be compensated because "Family helps family". Instead of relying on other family members, hire a sitter. Or, if that is not feasible, make your doctor's appointment, and ask if anyone can watch your kid on that specific day. It isn't that hard to plan ahead.
For the half uncle child story, perhaps a good compromise would be to start calling him Uncle Brat. He probably won't want you to call him uncle for long after that.
The kid's 5 and op 15. The adults are the AH. A 15yo shouldn't have to be the adult, neither the 5yo. FFS. They're both acting age appropriately - the adults should make the peace by making a clear difference between school and home. And F the grandfather and his cheating A, none of this would have happened if any of them were responsible adults and s educated teens.
Drive, wait time in waiting room, actual work, no, it can take 4 hours. If you have to get Anesthesia, it would also take a little while longer if you're not well enough to drive back.
@@sws212 damn i hate to break it to you but the closest emergency dentist from my house is an hour away. So 2 hour drive plus the wait n appointment time can easily make it four hours
Oh, they're going to be buying a car, and she's going to get therapy alright - all court mandated. OP's son is going to get it if he wants it on Lana & Co's dime, too. This is what happens when people think that 'petty' is synonymous with 'unhinged'.
Roommate story: call the police! She’s abandoned her daughter for three days! Now she takes off to be with her BF... don’t wait for CPS they’ll take forever, call the police now!
The troubled son story, man if that was me as a behavior problem son. My mom and dad would unleash the living hell upon me. Maybe this is what the son needs, he’s only acting remorseful just because he’s getting sent away. And a little uncle story was hilarious, I laughed. Hey guys, here is my uncle king of the playground
Yeah ! I can't imagine having a child like that,it is absolutely infuriating ! I'm so glad I don't have kids like that,as I have three of my own .. No matter what,I can't imagine what I'd do with him,but op did right sending him away to a farm ,and having nothing there ! It may be the wake up call for the son and his behavior! That uncle story is hilarious ,talk about entitled and spoiled! He's in for a reality check when he gets older,and his parents are in for heck of life ! I can't wait to read reddit posts about awful teenage boys with attitude problems ,and the parents asking for help,to late 😂😂😂😂
You made a key point: he's remorseful because he's about to pay the price. This kid is aware of what he's doing so I was relieved that there wasn't the typical "But he's (insert serious psychological disorder here) and can't be held accountable. This mother is slow to the draw but I can't fault her too much, we always have hope for our children. I hope for her that she gets over the guilt of being a mother who let her child live with (gasp) HIS DAD. As for what would happen to you (and me), my sons are grown, bigger and much stronger than me (or their dad, but he's old man strong and treacherous). I tell them that if I ever catch them doing/saying/acting (whatever), I'll spank them no matter how many people I have to get to hold them while I do it. Since they have 7 uncles, 7 male 1st cousins and aunts and girl cousins who are pretty tough, they know I can get it done. But I don't think I'll ever have to...because they know I will. They've known from the cradle that there are consequences which is why they don't act in a way that they have to suffer them.
La Chancla the ultimate weapon of Latino families. Next is the belt. Discipline does help and since he will be going to a farm that hard work will tire him out but he could easily rebound once home and the mother needs to change too. Reminds me of Erica Cartman from South Park.
At least at the farm the obnoxious kid will be outnumbered. He sounds like his behavior is more than his single working mom can handle. Let him see how good behavior gets good results and bad behavior brings unpleasant consequences. Throw in some therapy to help him cope.
Last story is heavy... My only hope is the kid finds his way out of this crap 😥 Good on OP to say "stop, you are not a mother right now", and "kids deserve better" 👍 Touched in the heart, i am sure you can say 😅
If Brian keeps it up then just start calling him Uncle illegitimate and see how he likes that at school might put a stop to the Uncle Brian really fast is Uncle Grandpa cheated on his wife got you
Agreed. Grandpa should consider Brian lucky that he's not being called "Secret Affair Baby, Illegitimate Uncle Brian" because kids can be down right mean at times, not saying that OP would be that mean but OP is being pushed into a corner here. What's that old saying? You get what you get and you don't throw a fit!
Just start calling Brian step uncle Cps tattletale son going to the farm is good, but some families would ship their kids to military school. Babysitting the niece instead of doing your job, you should be upfront and expect compensation before letting the child into your home Absentee mother, this requires a long term solution. The compassionate approach would be to call the grandparents and CPS. If the grandparents agree to pick her up, she may have a normal life. Either way, you do want to open a case with CPS to establish a record of child abandonment.
Uncle tantrum. Then uncle Brian really sarcastically when at home. Malicious compliance, and his tattle telling can be just brushed off as trying to get you into trouble LOL
If the kid insist on being called an uncle he should give his "nephew/niece" gifts when it's christmas or on his/her birthday. He should also act as a second parent and feed him/her whenever they visit him. If he wants the title then he should also get the responsibilities. Let's see how he reacts when he is expected to do things for his niece/nephew.
That son misbehaving - reminds me of the show The World's Strictest Parents and might be exactly what he needs. Of COURSE he doesn't want to go, he's getting away with blue murder at home (not for lack of trying on mom's part)
So your son found out that he gets to do what he wants and gets rewarded he can call CPS to get you punished and he gets rewarded just go ahead and put him in jail now because he's going to be there when he's 16 anyway
Kids like him doesn't appear out of nowhere. He probably got his way as a kid because too adorbs/cannot say no and when they grow and get to be teenager, they try correct behaviour and eating habits and they are way too late. This is kid who has been let rule the house. But she ain't NTA for sending kid to live with dad. It's his dad, she isn't abandoning him
OP needs to send his butt to his dad and let him live on that farm. He will have few distractions, limits on his friendships and responsibilities that he has to do. Sometimes boys need discipline and the only people that they will listen, be afraid of or just respect are their fathers or another man. It's not a knock on OP because she seems to have done everything she is suppose to do to help him.
@@duckeh1952 he was probably working that broken home thing way too hard. Junk food and gaming probably made little Joshy (I'm guessing his name) a Butterball with bad skin. Cake and soda for breakfast. He'll be crashed out by. So much for his pancreas. Type 2 diabetes, here he come. In my opinion the only reason to flip over a table is because you're losing at Monopoly.
You don't just 'put them in jail now' like you drag a sofa to the dump, Penny. You literally don't know what you're talking about, in any sarcastic or LITERAL sense of the situation.
Those neighbor parents better be careful or they could get in trouble for witness tampering. The only "misunderstanding" is on OP's part. They demanded that brother in law drop his paid work to babysit their child and thinks it should be for free. That's not how the real world works. Just dropped the kid off also and should be grateful that the kid was there when they returned. I have a brother that is 24 yr. younger than me and only 3 months older than my oldest son. My kids do not call him uncle at all. Not ever. That would have been strange when they were young. So the roommate took off for 3 days, comes home drunk and gets yelled at for it and then takes off again leaving her child with OP? Nope, nope, nope.
I used to have a friend like the son story she turned out absolutely horrible when we were older because her mom didn’t have the resources to help her but also refused to send her away. I hope she sends him to his dad because it’s a horrible life that he will probably lead and everyone around him.
If you call cps you can take her as a relative placement and they’ll give you a subsidy to help cover her costs while forcing mom to get help. But mom will have to go!
The son is her future murderer if she doesn't get rid of him. I would never let him come back to my home to live. Pay the father child support and get visitation. If he acts crazy during visitation then decrease your visitation.
Holy shit. CPS CPS CPS. What vile, awful, monster of a person does that!? OP, thank god you're a sweet, caring, responsible adult. That poor kid. EDIT: I agree it's ESH because you haven't called CPS or AT LEAST told your own parents and asked for help.
Story 2: Hey OP, this isn't "He expects to be paid for spending time with his niece", this is "Someone pushed this on me last minute with no warning, costing me the money from tutoring sessions and potentially damaging my reputation with my clients". You seriously inconvenienced him and you should compensate him for that.
Son Story: You can be the best parent you can strive to be and still have out of control kids. People are so quick to assume that it's the parent's fault if they end up having to send their child away. Reality is that not all parents can handle kids with extreme behavioral problems and need to take desperate measures to straighten them out. Disciplinary camps/schools exist for this reason. Op's lucky that she has a solution in the form of her ex. Her 13 year old is at a crossroads that needs intervention before it's too late.
I was abused as a child. Myself and 7 siblings were put into foster care. It was just as bad as our family home life. I gave an age appropriate explanation of the foster care system to my kids. I was once threatened by my oldest, who didn't want to do simple chores and was messing around in school. I gave him some of the graphic stories about my and my siblings time in the system. He was a teenager and it was appropriate to explain to him at the time. I always told my kids that if that's what they wanted to do, and go live in the system, go for it. They weren't coming back home. I didn't raise my kids in the abusive environment that we were raised in. I told them that calling CPS was the nuclear option and it would not be forgiven. He never called, neither did his sisters. Edit, I do believe in calling for legitimate reasons if kids, disabled or elders are being abused. I should also add that not all foster parents are abusive. I know that there are fantastic people who foster, because they love and want to help kids. I apologize if any good foster parents are offended. This was just my and my siblings experiences.
I agree with you, but the OP is also right that she's older so that would give her seniority. Not sure which rule is more important. I think we need legal eagle to way in on this.
I really feel OP’s pain. My bio Mom is like that, but with cats instead of kids. It’s so hard accepting this instead of doing everything a kid can to get a parent’s attention & love. It still hurts knowing all this, but as other TH-camrs have said, “a real parent is the one who raises you”. Gran Gran raised me & is a wonderful woman. I’m proud of having her as my Mom.
OMG! If my kid called CPS, (or he told lies to a teacher so they'd call CPS) i'd tell them to take him just so he'd understand that actions have consequences. You think I'm abusing you? Fine, I'm sure you'll have a better time in the system. As it is, the brat getting sent to dad's farm sounds like the perfect solution. God on mom!
Story about the step uncle.... the op should start calling him "step uncle the affair baby" at school and whenever they are together... malicious compliance 😂😂😂😂
Your statement makes no sense given OP has essentially stepped up as a second parent. Apart from not immediately calling CPS when the birth-giver ditched OP is blameless, without her that kid would’ve been in a world of trouble!
@@LadyLeomon it makes perfect sense IMO, op themselves aren’t in a position to take care of the child and have allowed the mother to abandon her child. Day 2 of no response I would have called cps immediately. Op was, in fact, dangerously close to being an accomplice. It’s delusional to think op would have always been around to pick up the slack and even if the roommate took Ella what kind of person would OP be not reporting her to cps after witnessing the clear disregard the roommate has for her daughters health and saftey?
I think saying that OP allowed the mother to abandon her child is a little harsh. Don't forget that OP is only 19 years old. Yes, she should have called CPS on finding Ella abandoned at home. But she did take care of the girl and she did call CPS after getting advice from Redditors. At 19, were you so well informed and confident of what to do that you would have done differently than OP? I'd have called my Mom for advice, but I would not have thought of calling CPS right away. Also bear in mind that OP's roommate had conditioned her over time to take over as Ella's caregiver.
@@eywine.7762 yes. At 19 I knew full well that after a full day of taking care of a baby that isn’t mine I’m calling the police who in turn is contacting cps to take care of the child. At the least out of a major concern for the mothers safety seeing as it’s not normal to be unreachable like that when you have a baby at home. 19 isn’t the new 16 here, maybe I wouldn’t know what to do as a 16 year old but 19? She might still be considered a simple teen by some but that’s old enough to have a job and real responsibilities. At 19 I hope a only a rare few will not know what to do but there are numbers that can be used to contact hotlines and help especially considering a Google search of soemthing like “what to do when a baby has been left without parents for two days” will literally direct you to resources with advice faster than it takes to write a fucking Reddit story. I think you could have just wrote that last sentence and called it a day and it would be something more agreeable with but not that bs infantilizing 19 year olds. Edit to add: I’m 21 so imagining myself almost 3 years back my first call would most definitely be 911 if the roommate was flat out not answering any calls or text.
My mother begrudged paying me to babysit when I made 5 times that for other jobs babysitting. I wasn’t asked just told. The family member still gets paid they didn’t breed your niece. She’s your responsibility. He’s supposed to give up income? You are so entitled.
That roommate story, call cps, that's a thing I usually never say,because some people use it for absolutely no reason at all,and/or revenge etc,but in this case,please do call them,because she just abandoned her kid on you,..well,you did call,so great ! Hopefully it'll be the wake up call for that crappy mom!!
The destructive son. Why does he still have consoles to play games on? Why does he still get a protein bar which is still not the meal he was supposed to eat after throwing his food on the wall and breaking the plate? It sounds like the mother is being way more enabling than she should be. He refuses to eat? He doesn't get any other food or snack until he eats something that is considered the prepared meal. If he refuses to eat during breakfast just pack the leftovers in a lunchbox/sandwhich bag and that goes with him in case he feels like eating something. Otherwise he can wait til the next meal which will definitely not be fast food but a dull regular meal and this continues until he eats. Also if he then throws a tantrum about it he can say bye bye to his games until the next day where he hasn't thrown a tantrum. Is it really that hard to understand that giving in to the bad behaviour only encourages more of it? The reason he doesn't want to be sent to stay with the dad for extra time is because he knows he won't get away with his bad behaviour and knows his mom will give in with enough whining and tantrums. The important thing with kids is consistency. If they know that throwing a tantrum is guaranteed to make their situation worse not better no tantrum will happen. As long as he has healthy options for food and water, a roof over his head and serviceable clothes he will be fine anything else is a luxury that can be taken away. For most kids forcing them to live like it's the 90s is punishment though it's not really. Does the bad behaviour keep up? Possible punishments: - Take away any junk food/soda of any kind until he has proven he is consistently eating the food that was prepared for him. If he throws a tantrum next shopping trip no junk food is being bought and if he can behave until the following grocery trip maybe some can be brought into the house again. - Take away consoles/handhelds/tablets etc except what's necessary for school work and have those devices locked down so they can only be used for that. He can read a book or something to entertain himself without modern forms of entertainments. Maybe get one of those cheap e-reader tablets that are only good for reading books and when being punished swap his other electronics out for this. - Downgrade his phone to a dumb phone he can only use to complete calls for emergencies, but not use apps/messengers or internet of any kind. This will also bring him shame when his peers see his phone. - Take away any fancy clothes. Just give him the plainest clothes no brands or special designs just a plan white/cream/tan t-shirt and shorts/pants. Kids care about their social standing and their clothing will affect it. - Block all entertaining TV channels if you still have cable for some reason. If he has a TV in his room this can be removed as a punishment too. How much do you want to bet that when he has nothing but reading books or pencil and paper to entertain himself, is feeling hungry due to his refusal to eat and his peers are making fun of his lame wardrobe and phone how fast his tune changes? This is why he doesn't want to be sent to his dad, because he knows unlike mom there will be consequences for his actions. It's really not that hard to make an effective punishment for kids that isn't physical abuse or harming them and no being uncomfortable is not harming them.
kids, right now you will be held accountable for ANYTHING that happens to that child. Call cps and tell them what is going on. don't let the roommate burn you.
Babysitting Story: I don't understand OP's argument against paying BIL. He already had a sitter lined up who canceled. I assume he was going to pay her. So it's not like he didn't already have funds set aside to pay a sitter, so pay the BIL. OP was planning to pay a sitter for childcare. The BIL provided childcare. PAY the BIL. Geez!
Some options; 1. You might start addressing him as Half Uncle Brian. And every time you do, make it sound like an offensive insult. 2. Whenever you have to get Brian’s attention tap him on the shoulder and say something like, Hey, You, but never speak his name. 3. Don’t address him at all. Completely ignore him. Don’t make eye contact. If he wants to speak to you, he can initiate the first contact. And if he does, just answer, “What?” in an impatient tone. 4. When Brian is being a brat, just look at him, shake your head, and snicker. This worked on my ten year old cousin when I was a teen. He was a holy terror who threw tantrums whenever he did not get his way. After awhile even the adults were using it on him. Eventually the tantrums subsided because he did not like being laughed at, even more than he disliked not getting his way. In other words make conversing with you very uncomfortable for Brian.
story 1: NTI. Don't let the ex-gf's parents buy their way out of this. Press the charges and see if they can include therapy!!! She's got a card or two missing from her deck, and so does the rest of her family. What happened is criminal and deserves full penalty. This is the beginning of trouble for them; they can stop it now or deal with worse consequences later. There'll be another future Bryce, another possessive angry tantrum, esp if there aren't consequences for this one.
This women couldn’t even stick to what she said about a single breakfast - act out and there won’t be one. Five minutes til she caved. Disgusting! She’s the one who needed therapy a decade ago, or better yet, a dang parenting class!!
Story 1 press charges definitely. She needs to be held accountable and she's not a little kid. Don't let them buy their way out of it . Otherwise the girl friend will think she can buy her way out of EVERYTHING. Press charges. You need to pay him because he lost money. Pay him . After all it's your problem not his. Be responsible and pay him. You should call him the brat little uncle. And walk away laughing. 3 rd story put him in foster care for awhile and see how he likes that . That might help him understand things. Don't be afraid tell CPS that he is uncontrollable. Let him pount. He needs help be a responsible parent. He will cry , through tatrems and who knows what. Put him in a program now before it's too late. Because one day he will try to break you . Ella's mom needs to be taught what it is to be a mother. You should call CPS immediately . It will be a great thing for ELLA . If something happens you will be blamed to. Call CPS now
"Uncle"?: I found the best comment to the laughing, enabling parents of a five year old "King" running the house was ... "THAT will be charming in the next ten years when he's fifteen and taller than you"! It would worked. Yes, PARENTING.
Story 2, yes YTA. He lost money by dropping your daughter last minute, he had to cancel paid work for you & harmed his reputation as a reliable tutor. Pay him that's the least you can do.
Son and CPS...while the farm is definitely valid, I would also be talking with the school administration. While by law they need to report suspected abuse this should never have been reported without something more than a kid saying he is being starved. What about lunches as a start. Any evidence of malnutrition? Etc. Has the kid been going on about it for multiple times?
Babysitting story: OP is a jerk. The BIL missed paying work to watch his child, for four hours. I hope the BIL tells OP to get bent the next time he asks for anything. Son story: Good lort, what a brat. The son would definitely be getting shipped off to somewhere that would straighten out that attitude. I hope spending time on his father’s farm will be good for him and he’s not going to just be terrorizing his half siblings and destroying things there. Roommate story: OP was right to report the abandonment of a child. The roommate doesn’t get to dump her child on OP for days on end just because she had a hard life or whatever, she is a terrible, neglectful mother. OP is a kind and caring person for taking care of the little girl for so long, but that’s not her responsibility. I hope the little girl is placed in a home where she will be loved and cared for. The roommate needs to get her tubes tied.
Tell your son that, obviously, whatever you’ve tried to do hasn’t been working. Telling lies that cause CPS or police visits & his behavior proves this. And maybe a different place to live & living with his dad will help.
Bratty “uncle”: Call him Bub - “Bratty Uncle Brian”. The OP would technically be following the brat’s demands while also pointing out an obvious issue.
I would have told CPS to take my son maybe they can help him, but I also would have told them that if they take him he is their from now on I don't want him back.
Tutoring is a job, you forced him to miss work, you need to reimburse him for the money he lost due to you being a tool and refusing to take no as his answer.
Yes, absolutely this. Forcing someone to miss work to do something for "family" is utterly ridiculous, and only done by people who take others for granted.
I agree! Not only that, but I'm sure he won't be around when OP has another emergency. I know I wouldn't be.
Also 4 hours for a dental appointment? That’s insane
@@runner5h1gh you've never gotten major dental work have you?
Especially since he would have had to pay a babysitter anyway.
1st story: Did anyone else notice how the parents of the ex had the knee-jerk reaction to offer to replace/get a better car for the son if his parents wouldn't press charges on their daughter? I'm willing to bet that:
A:They did that the brother's entire life when he was under 18 (which is why he agreed to help her damage the car)
B: Have bought a lot of stuff to appease the parents for other victims of their daughter (which is why she laughed)
C: All of the above
I think 3
After the daughter gets through the criminal trial, hit the parents with the civil case and let them replace the car anyway.
They certainly need a switch took to their butts.
Dee, BINGO!
c
Son story:she absolutely should send her son to the farm. Her kid just thought it was acceptable to call CPS on her for not giving him what he wants. Kid probably thought it would be a good tool to get his mom to give him what he wants and didn't expect this response. And quite frankly I think it's a good thing for him to not be able to hang out with his friends because one has to wonder where he got this behavior and ideas. Clearly he didn't get it from his father and most likely didn't get it from his mother so another option is his peers.
I had a coworker who had a teenage son that was misbehaving. She’s filipino so they sent the son to Philippines to live with family. That kid straightened up pretty quickly 😂
Frankly I don't see what his problem is. He complained that his mother doesn't feed him so he can go and eat in his father's house.
@@nix_ right I mean like say CPS did decide to take him away no matter what she said what then? If he didn't have a father or any family willing to take him in, he'd be trading his comfortable life with his loving mom for the system all because he wanted cake and Burger King.
I'm just remembering a skit a comedian did; he was telling the audience about when he was a kid, and how there was a kid in his class who was just like this boy. Comedian was Indian, born of immigrant parents, and the other kid was white. OB (other boy) told him to just threaten to call CPS on his parents, and that it works every time, so one day, he tried it.
*Dad:* Go ahead.
*Comedian:* 0_0' . . .I will! I'll do it!!!
*Dad:* Good. There's the phone. But just so you know? It'll take CPS at least fifteen minutes to get here, and that's IF they have an agent ready to go. And until they get here? Somebody's gonna get a hurting.
Dude never tried that one again.
The farm or boot camp
It’s honestly a little scary the amount of girls that think destroying their ex’s property is a justifiable response to being dumped.
NTA OP and whatever you do: DONT DROP THE CHARGES
My nastiest breakup, all I did was leave his stuff on the doorstep in a box. Also put him on blast on social media and warn everyone that he was a cheater.
It wasn't my stuff to destroy, as much as I would have liked to do so.
To many movies and sitcoms showing them burning all the guy's stuff after a break up
It's cute that you think this is a gf thing. It is a psycho thing, and the stories abound of bfs who do this and worse.
@@shells500tutubo facts everyone just ignores the crazy men 😒 my ex threw out over 300$ worth of my movie collection in my front yard and broke them
@@Lillypop93 Considering nobody ever shuts up about anyone who does this, nobody ignores them.
Son from hell: I know someone that went through the same thing including the CPS call. Eventually CPS took the kid and put him in a foster. The foster parents kept sending him back because he was more than they could handle. He would destroy other people's belongings, punch holes in walls, and shatter windows not to mention lying about the foster families and teachers just to get his way. He threatened one family with a steak knife he stole from a restaurant. He had multiple therapists, one of which he struck. His violence got even worse as he neared adulthood and he is not a small man. It's shocking and sad but the honest truth is some children have issues that are beyond what parents, therapists, and CPS can cope with. My recommendation is a reputable psychiatrist. It might actually come to the point of needing to institutionalize a child. It sounds horrible but some people need constant professional supervision. My heart goes out to OP and anyone else that has to deal with an extremely violent child.
Frankly, I'm worried about OP's ex, his family, and the animals they take care of. This kid is heading into torturing small animals territory.
Jeez, and I thought I was bad as a teen...
Residential treatment centers for behavioral issues are what is needed for kids like that. By the sound of it he's running the show and he needs everything taken from him and his entire life needs to be structured from the moment he wakes up until he goes to bed. I was in a treatment center for 2 1/2 years, ages 14-16 & it honestly changed who I was. It was a PPC program, positive peer culture & it sounds like that kid needs something like that because nothing else has worked including foster care. Juvy or d.o.c. are next because he's going to start getting charged and it only escalates from there. If he wants to avoid prison a residential treatment facility is what he needs.
This is what we get with allowing CPS telling us we can't use the board of education on them.
This sounds like someone I grew up with. Before he was taken away, he actually had grabbed a chef's knife from the kitchen and chased sister and Babysitter into a closet one night. They were stuck in there until parents got home.
CPS Story: NTA send him on to his daddy. 👋🏾
The first story is funny because you could press charges and sue them and they would still have to pay for it because shes a minor. They probably know this so theyre trying to make it seem like theyre offering a deal.
I was chanting "call cps" throughout the entire roommate story! That girl needs out of there before mommy gets a new roommate who hurts her or she's left home alone and starves 😔 That poor angel
The story with the son throwing the fits: give him to CPS, if he wants to play these games that bad. See how many games he gets to play when he's being tossed from foster home to foster home.
CPS story: sorry but I would have sent the boy to a camp for troubled youths. He's a danger to the OP. What will happen when the son gets bigger and stronger than the OP? He could really hurt her
Sounds like OP's ex will probably be able to provide a similarly suitable environment for the boy. Hope OP really sent him there, and weren't fooled to take him back too early.
The kid is spoiled and he also has rage issues. Not only does he need an attitude adjustment he probably needs medication. The very things he's whining about are the very things that are making him miserable to live with. Shipping him off to the farm sounds like the ticket. Make him aware that if he continues in this fashion there's plenty more where this came from.
I was like this kid. My dad shipped me off to military school and I straightened out really quickly. I think it would do him a lot of good.
This is what happens when you let the TV raise your child and then you come into their life 17 years later and decide you suddenly want to parent them because their behavior is out of line the time to fix this was 13 years ago these are all the consequences of her parenting decisions. He could really hurt her and she deserves it because all he's giving her is physical retaliation against his emotional pain that she has given him.
Those camps are notorious for child abuse, DON'T!!!
I can't believe that roommate story. I hope little Ella is placed with someone who actually cares for her. Ops definitely not an asshole for exploding. I'm a single mom and have been doing it for 5 1/2 years now, and I understand the need for a mini break from the kid but DEFINITELY not at the expense of my daughter's well-being and safety.
Call CPS. Do it now.
I get the need of "needing a break " too but the mother can't go no contact, as if an emergency came up hospitals etc. need a parents permissions and information in regards to the child, also make agreed upon arrangements.
@@lamwen03 definitely worth a call to them
@@johnfisk8407 yup. Some people just suck and shouldn't have kids
4:38 “I told him to cancel his tutoring sessions (Ie: his job that gives him income) and take care of my child” but don’t want to pay him?! And SHE has the gall to call HIM greedy?! What an entitled B!
I hope the OP being left with the child is ok. They must have been stuck in emergency-mode for DAYS if not weeks worrying for this child. I'm glad they finally reached out to the internet to get the nudge they needed to move on to call CPS. Dumping a child on them is not fair to them or the child.
this is the otherside of the story. which is funny. he really think he isnt wrong
@@AliceRinGameLand They're talking about the last story, where OP ditched her daughter for 3 days. Not the second story, where the guy ditched his daughter with his BIL and made him drop a few tutoring sessions. The latter is a delusional AH, the former is not
I'd like an update where the son got shipped to his dad's house. He needs discipline and structure and Op cant provide it. He lied to his teacher who called CPS because he didn't get frigging cake or burger King for breakfast. He needs a rude awakening. Maybe being away and getting the tough discipline his dad would give him will make him value his mother more and his dad as well.
Re the unpaid sitter, uncle sounds like a male chauvinist. There is no reason I should pay nephew who lost $$ when he canceled tutoring sessions because baby sitting and tutoring are women's work not worth compensation. Everyone loves kids and should want to spend time entertaining mine--for free.
S1 Judgement: NTA
Reason: Lana shouldn't cause property damage if she CANNOT pay for it.
Lana thought that ruining her ex-boyfriend's car was a just cause for him breaking up with her. Do not drop the charges.
S2 Judgement: YTA.
Reason: "But he's family and the last thing he should be doing is asking for money because he babysat his niece."
The entitlement that reeks from this post is astounding. Just because he is family, you think that he is obligated to drop whatever he is doing, tutoring sessions or no, because you have an appointment that you cannot get rescheduled? No! BIL put what he wanted aside, knowing that he would miss out on this money, and did because you needed help! He is completely, in my opinion, within his right to expect financial compensation for watching his niece. Putting this in a legal sense, daycare workers get paid for taking care of kids, so why can't BIL? Where I him, I wouldn't babysit till you paid me for my time.
getting any appointment with your schedule in mind can be difficult
@@GiordanDiodato I agree, it can be incredibly difficult. However, that is no excuse, and OP should have known better. Family is not free labor; they are not someone who shouldn't be compensated because "Family helps family". Instead of relying on other family members, hire a sitter. Or, if that is not feasible, make your doctor's appointment, and ask if anyone can watch your kid on that specific day. It isn't that hard to plan ahead.
For the half uncle child story, perhaps a good compromise would be to start calling him Uncle Brat. He probably won't want you to call him uncle for long after that.
I was thinking Uncle Bastard but you're nicer than me.
The kid's 5 and op 15. The adults are the AH. A 15yo shouldn't have to be the adult, neither the 5yo. FFS. They're both acting age appropriately - the adults should make the peace by making a clear difference between school and home. And F the grandfather and his cheating A, none of this would have happened if any of them were responsible adults and s educated teens.
I was gonna post exactly the same thing until I cam across your reply. Betting that the little turds head would explode on that one.
Story two: unless the OP got serious work done, no dentist appointment is over 4 hours
But do we know how far away the dentist is? And how long the wait was?
Drive, wait time in waiting room, actual work, no, it can take 4 hours. If you have to get Anesthesia, it would also take a little while longer if you're not well enough to drive back.
@@ceciliacalvin207 Or and here is a wild idea she wanted to get away from the kid.
@@leegraves8878 possibly
@@sws212 damn i hate to break it to you but the closest emergency dentist from my house is an hour away. So 2 hour drive plus the wait n appointment time can easily make it four hours
Oh, they're going to be buying a car, and she's going to get therapy alright - all court mandated. OP's son is going to get it if he wants it on Lana & Co's dime, too. This is what happens when people think that 'petty' is synonymous with 'unhinged'.
Roommate story: call the police! She’s abandoned her daughter for three days! Now she takes off to be with her BF... don’t wait for CPS they’ll take forever, call the police now!
The troubled son story, man if that was me as a behavior problem son. My mom and dad would unleash the living hell upon me. Maybe this is what the son needs, he’s only acting remorseful just because he’s getting sent away.
And a little uncle story was hilarious, I laughed. Hey guys, here is my uncle king of the playground
Yeah ! I can't imagine having a child like that,it is absolutely infuriating ! I'm so glad I don't have kids like that,as I have three of my own .. No matter what,I can't imagine what I'd do with him,but op did right sending him away to a farm ,and having nothing there ! It may be the wake up call for the son and his behavior! That uncle story is hilarious ,talk about entitled and spoiled! He's in for a reality check when he gets older,and his parents are in for heck of life ! I can't wait to read reddit posts about awful teenage boys with attitude problems ,and the parents asking for help,to late 😂😂😂😂
You made a key point: he's remorseful because he's about to pay the price. This kid is aware of what he's doing so I was relieved that there wasn't the typical "But he's (insert serious psychological disorder here) and can't be held accountable. This mother is slow to the draw but I can't fault her too much, we always have hope for our children.
I hope for her that she gets over the guilt of being a mother who let her child live with (gasp) HIS DAD.
As for what would happen to you (and me), my sons are grown, bigger and much stronger than me (or their dad, but he's old man strong and treacherous). I tell them that if I ever catch them doing/saying/acting (whatever), I'll spank them no matter how many people I have to get to hold them while I do it. Since they have 7 uncles, 7 male 1st cousins and aunts and girl cousins who are pretty tough, they know I can get it done.
But I don't think I'll ever have to...because they know I will. They've known from the cradle that there are consequences which is why they don't act in a way that they have to suffer them.
La Chancla the ultimate weapon of Latino families. Next is the belt. Discipline does help and since he will be going to a farm that hard work will tire him out but he could easily rebound once home and the mother needs to change too. Reminds me of Erica Cartman from South Park.
Bad kid story- "you made your choice, wait till lunch"..."then I relented"
At least at the farm the obnoxious kid will be outnumbered. He sounds like his behavior is more than his single working mom can handle. Let him see how good behavior gets good results and bad behavior brings unpleasant consequences. Throw in some therapy to help him cope.
Last story is heavy... My only hope is the kid finds his way out of this crap 😥 Good on OP to say "stop, you are not a mother right now", and "kids deserve better" 👍
Touched in the heart, i am sure you can say 😅
That CPS story sounded like a Dr. Phil episode. Kid even got sent to the fucking ranch! 🤣
If Brian keeps it up then just start calling him Uncle illegitimate and see how he likes that at school might put a stop to the Uncle Brian really fast is Uncle Grandpa cheated on his wife got you
Agreed. Grandpa should consider Brian lucky that he's not being called "Secret Affair Baby, Illegitimate Uncle Brian" because kids can be down right mean at times, not saying that OP would be that mean but OP is being pushed into a corner here. What's that old saying? You get what you get and you don't throw a fit!
Call him uncle bastard. Can they still call it bullying if it's a factual statement?
@@InDeathWeLove that's what I was thinking
Uncle Your-mommy's-a-homewrecker Brian.
Just start calling Brian step uncle
Cps tattletale son going to the farm is good, but some families would ship their kids to military school.
Babysitting the niece instead of doing your job, you should be upfront and expect compensation before letting the child into your home
Absentee mother, this requires a long term solution. The compassionate approach would be to call the grandparents and CPS. If the grandparents agree to pick her up, she may have a normal life. Either way, you do want to open a case with CPS to establish a record of child abandonment.
Uncle tantrum. Then uncle Brian really sarcastically when at home. Malicious compliance, and his tattle telling can be just brushed off as trying to get you into trouble LOL
If the kid insist on being called an uncle he should give his "nephew/niece" gifts when it's christmas or on his/her birthday. He should also act as a second parent and feed him/her whenever they visit him. If he wants the title then he should also get the responsibilities. Let's see how he reacts when he is expected to do things for his niece/nephew.
Therapy is meant to help people cope with issues in their environment, it doesn't fix evil
That son misbehaving - reminds me of the show The World's Strictest Parents and might be exactly what he needs. Of COURSE he doesn't want to go, he's getting away with blue murder at home (not for lack of trying on mom's part)
So your son found out that he gets to do what he wants and gets rewarded he can call CPS to get you punished and he gets rewarded just go ahead and put him in jail now because he's going to be there when he's 16 anyway
Kids like him doesn't appear out of nowhere. He probably got his way as a kid because too adorbs/cannot say no and when they grow and get to be teenager, they try correct behaviour and eating habits and they are way too late.
This is kid who has been let rule the house.
But she ain't NTA for sending kid to live with dad. It's his dad, she isn't abandoning him
OP needs to send his butt to his dad and let him live on that farm. He will have few distractions, limits on his friendships and responsibilities that he has to do. Sometimes boys need discipline and the only people that they will listen, be afraid of or just respect are their fathers or another man. It's not a knock on OP because she seems to have done everything she is suppose to do to help him.
@@duckeh1952 he was probably working that broken home thing way too hard. Junk food and gaming probably made little Joshy (I'm guessing his name) a Butterball with bad skin. Cake and soda for breakfast. He'll be crashed out by. So much for his pancreas. Type 2 diabetes, here he come. In my opinion the only reason to flip over a table is because you're losing at Monopoly.
You don't just 'put them in jail now' like you drag a sofa to the dump, Penny. You literally don't know what you're talking about, in any sarcastic or LITERAL sense of the situation.
Let's not encourage the school to prison pipeline. Kids (and adults lbr) can and should be helped.
Those neighbor parents better be careful or they could get in trouble for witness tampering.
The only "misunderstanding" is on OP's part. They demanded that brother in law drop his paid work to babysit their child and thinks it should be for free. That's not how the real world works. Just dropped the kid off also and should be grateful that the kid was there when they returned.
I have a brother that is 24 yr. younger than me and only 3 months older than my oldest son. My kids do not call him uncle at all. Not ever. That would have been strange when they were young.
So the roommate took off for 3 days, comes home drunk and gets yelled at for it and then takes off again leaving her child with OP? Nope, nope, nope.
I used to have a friend like the son story she turned out absolutely horrible when we were older because her mom didn’t have the resources to help her but also refused to send her away. I hope she sends him to his dad because it’s a horrible life that he will probably lead and everyone around him.
Call CPS. Tell them this is a habit & you’re concerned for the child’s safety & you fear her mom may take the child & sell her.
I think OP is afraid of where Ella could end up when she winds up in foster care, but the little one's mother isn't any good.
If you call cps you can take her as a relative placement and they’ll give you a subsidy to help cover her costs while forcing mom to get help. But mom will have to go!
The son is her future murderer if she doesn't get rid of him. I would never let him come back to my home to live. Pay the father child support and get visitation. If he acts crazy during visitation then decrease your visitation.
Haha. The uncle story reminds me I have a friend who is probably 43 right now and he has an aunt who is 25.
Where did people get the entitled idea that family equals free labour?
Unless agreed upon we should never assume.
Holy shit. CPS CPS CPS. What vile, awful, monster of a person does that!? OP, thank god you're a sweet, caring, responsible adult. That poor kid. EDIT: I agree it's ESH because you haven't called CPS or AT LEAST told your own parents and asked for help.
That second story is where new age parenting gets you when u baby and don't discipline your kids they try to break you
OP'S BROTHER HAS 110% RIGHT
TO ASK FOR MONEY TO BABY-SIT
THE CHILD
Story 2: Hey OP, this isn't "He expects to be paid for spending time with his niece", this is "Someone pushed this on me last minute with no warning, costing me the money from tutoring sessions and potentially damaging my reputation with my clients". You seriously inconvenienced him and you should compensate him for that.
Son Story: You can be the best parent you can strive to be and still have out of control kids. People are so quick to assume that it's the parent's fault if they end up having to send their child away. Reality is that not all parents can handle kids with extreme behavioral problems and need to take desperate measures to straighten them out. Disciplinary camps/schools exist for this reason. Op's lucky that she has a solution in the form of her ex. Her 13 year old is at a crossroads that needs intervention before it's too late.
If fate doesn't give you anything don't tempt it...loved it.
People thinking that dumping their kids on family members is some type of gift for them. 🤷
Always press charges against her! No matter how her parents feel. No deal with criminals!!
1st story. OP don't back press charges both criminal and civil. That whole family needs a wake-up call. Also get an RO good luck.
I was abused as a child. Myself and 7 siblings were put into foster care. It was just as bad as our family home life. I gave an age appropriate explanation of the foster care system to my kids.
I was once threatened by my oldest, who didn't want to do simple chores and was messing around in school. I gave him some of the graphic stories about my and my siblings time in the system. He was a teenager and it was appropriate to explain to him at the time.
I always told my kids that if that's what they wanted to do, and go live in the system, go for it. They weren't coming back home.
I didn't raise my kids in the abusive environment that we were raised in.
I told them that calling CPS was the nuclear option and it would not be forgiven.
He never called, neither did his sisters.
Edit,
I do believe in calling for legitimate reasons if kids, disabled or elders are being abused.
I should also add that not all foster parents are abusive. I know that there are fantastic people who foster, because they love and want to help kids. I apologize if any good foster parents are offended. This was just my and my siblings experiences.
The uncle Brian story took me out! OP should respect his uncle 😄
I agree with you, but the OP is also right that she's older so that would give her seniority.
Not sure which rule is more important. I think we need legal eagle to way in on this.
Respect a tantrum throwing brat? Not in this lifetime!
I really feel OP’s pain. My bio Mom is like that, but with cats instead of kids. It’s so hard accepting this instead of doing everything a kid can to get a parent’s attention & love. It still hurts knowing all this, but as other TH-camrs have said, “a real parent is the one who raises you”. Gran Gran raised me & is a wonderful woman. I’m proud of having her as my Mom.
Cps son, send him to that farm! He will learn to be much more appreciative of what he has! But also, therapy for both of you!
OMG! If my kid called CPS, (or he told lies to a teacher so they'd call CPS) i'd tell them to take him just so he'd understand that actions have consequences. You think I'm abusing you? Fine, I'm sure you'll have a better time in the system.
As it is, the brat getting sent to dad's farm sounds like the perfect solution. God on mom!
If you don't sue Lana, the only result will be that she will do that again, against you or against some other person
Evil people tend to keep doing it if they know they will be supported in it, she will retaliate as "revenge for snitching"
Good afternoon XOS. Thanks for the stories. Have a great day
Story about the step uncle.... the op should start calling him "step uncle the affair baby" at school and whenever they are together... malicious compliance 😂😂😂😂
The courts and people need to learn this. Children are currently monsters and they will become adult monsters.
In the last story the OP is nearly an accomplice to the child’s neglect by letting it go on for so long.
Your statement makes no sense given OP has essentially stepped up as a second parent. Apart from not immediately calling CPS when the birth-giver ditched OP is blameless, without her that kid would’ve been in a world of trouble!
@@LadyLeomon it makes perfect sense IMO, op themselves aren’t in a position to take care of the child and have allowed the mother to abandon her child. Day 2 of no response I would have called cps immediately. Op was, in fact, dangerously close to being an accomplice. It’s delusional to think op would have always been around to pick up the slack and even if the roommate took Ella what kind of person would OP be not reporting her to cps after witnessing the clear disregard the roommate has for her daughters health and saftey?
I think saying that OP allowed the mother to abandon her child is a little harsh. Don't forget that OP is only 19 years old.
Yes, she should have called CPS on finding Ella abandoned at home. But she did take care of the girl and she did call CPS after getting advice from Redditors.
At 19, were you so well informed and confident of what to do that you would have done differently than OP? I'd have called my Mom for advice, but I would not have thought of calling CPS right away.
Also bear in mind that OP's roommate had conditioned her over time to take over as Ella's caregiver.
@@eywine.7762 yes. At 19 I knew full well that after a full day of taking care of a baby that isn’t mine I’m calling the police who in turn is contacting cps to take care of the child. At the least out of a major concern for the mothers safety seeing as it’s not normal to be unreachable like that when you have a baby at home. 19 isn’t the new 16 here, maybe I wouldn’t know what to do as a 16 year old but 19? She might still be considered a simple teen by some but that’s old enough to have a job and real responsibilities. At 19 I hope a only a rare few will not know what to do but there are numbers that can be used to contact hotlines and help especially considering a Google search of soemthing like “what to do when a baby has been left without parents for two days” will literally direct you to resources with advice faster than it takes to write a fucking Reddit story. I think you could have just wrote that last sentence and called it a day and it would be something more agreeable with but not that bs infantilizing 19 year olds.
Edit to add: I’m 21 so imagining myself almost 3 years back my first call would most definitely be 911 if the roommate was flat out not answering any calls or text.
My mother begrudged paying me to babysit when I made 5 times that for other jobs babysitting. I wasn’t asked just told. The family member still gets paid they didn’t breed your niece. She’s your responsibility. He’s supposed to give up income? You are so entitled.
just call him uncool Brian, emphasizing the difference
That roommate story, call cps, that's a thing I usually never say,because some people use it for absolutely no reason at all,and/or revenge etc,but in this case,please do call them,because she just abandoned her kid on you,..well,you did call,so great ! Hopefully it'll be the wake up call for that crappy mom!!
YRARI Call CPS. Stop this insanity.
Lol, imagine being upset because someone expects payments for services rendered.
The destructive son. Why does he still have consoles to play games on? Why does he still get a protein bar which is still not the meal he was supposed to eat after throwing his food on the wall and breaking the plate? It sounds like the mother is being way more enabling than she should be. He refuses to eat? He doesn't get any other food or snack until he eats something that is considered the prepared meal. If he refuses to eat during breakfast just pack the leftovers in a lunchbox/sandwhich bag and that goes with him in case he feels like eating something. Otherwise he can wait til the next meal which will definitely not be fast food but a dull regular meal and this continues until he eats. Also if he then throws a tantrum about it he can say bye bye to his games until the next day where he hasn't thrown a tantrum.
Is it really that hard to understand that giving in to the bad behaviour only encourages more of it? The reason he doesn't want to be sent to stay with the dad for extra time is because he knows he won't get away with his bad behaviour and knows his mom will give in with enough whining and tantrums. The important thing with kids is consistency. If they know that throwing a tantrum is guaranteed to make their situation worse not better no tantrum will happen. As long as he has healthy options for food and water, a roof over his head and serviceable clothes he will be fine anything else is a luxury that can be taken away. For most kids forcing them to live like it's the 90s is punishment though it's not really. Does the bad behaviour keep up?
Possible punishments:
- Take away any junk food/soda of any kind until he has proven he is consistently eating the food that was prepared for him. If he throws a tantrum next shopping trip no junk food is being bought and if he can behave until the following grocery trip maybe some can be brought into the house again.
- Take away consoles/handhelds/tablets etc except what's necessary for school work and have those devices locked down so they can only be used for that. He can read a book or something to entertain himself without modern forms of entertainments. Maybe get one of those cheap e-reader tablets that are only good for reading books and when being punished swap his other electronics out for this.
- Downgrade his phone to a dumb phone he can only use to complete calls for emergencies, but not use apps/messengers or internet of any kind. This will also bring him shame when his peers see his phone.
- Take away any fancy clothes. Just give him the plainest clothes no brands or special designs just a plan white/cream/tan t-shirt and shorts/pants. Kids care about their social standing and their clothing will affect it.
- Block all entertaining TV channels if you still have cable for some reason. If he has a TV in his room this can be removed as a punishment too.
How much do you want to bet that when he has nothing but reading books or pencil and paper to entertain himself, is feeling hungry due to his refusal to eat and his peers are making fun of his lame wardrobe and phone how fast his tune changes? This is why he doesn't want to be sent to his dad, because he knows unlike mom there will be consequences for his actions.
It's really not that hard to make an effective punishment for kids that isn't physical abuse or harming them and no being uncomfortable is not harming them.
They will be ordered to replace the car by a judge. Civil responsibility needs to be enforced!! These parents failed there children!
Time to call CPS on your roommate. You've played this game for far too long.
Ella story, call CPS NOW!
kids, right now you will be held accountable for ANYTHING that happens to that child. Call cps and tell them what is going on. don't let the roommate burn you.
11:17 oppositional-defiant disorder?
Babysitting Story: I don't understand OP's argument against paying BIL. He already had a sitter lined up who canceled. I assume he was going to pay her. So it's not like he didn't already have funds set aside to pay a sitter, so pay the BIL. OP was planning to pay a sitter for childcare. The BIL provided childcare. PAY the BIL. Geez!
"My inlaws are my only supporters." Keep this up and they won't be.
Some options; 1. You might start addressing him as Half Uncle Brian. And every time you do, make it sound like an offensive insult.
2. Whenever you have to get Brian’s attention tap him on the shoulder and say something like, Hey, You, but never speak his name.
3. Don’t address him at all. Completely ignore him. Don’t make eye contact. If he wants to speak to you, he can initiate the first contact. And if he does, just answer, “What?” in an impatient tone.
4. When Brian is being a brat, just look at him, shake your head, and snicker. This worked on my ten year old cousin when I was a teen. He was a holy terror who threw tantrums whenever he did not get his way. After awhile even the adults were using it on him. Eventually the tantrums subsided because he did not like being laughed at, even more than he disliked not getting his way.
In other words make conversing with you very uncomfortable for Brian.
story 1: NTI. Don't let the ex-gf's parents buy their way out of this. Press the charges and see if they can include therapy!!! She's got a card or two missing from her deck, and so does the rest of her family. What happened is criminal and deserves full penalty. This is the beginning of trouble for them; they can stop it now or deal with worse consequences later. There'll be another future Bryce, another possessive angry tantrum, esp if there aren't consequences for this one.
Younger uncle: Is OP called Simon? That would be Simon and Half-uncle! NTA.
Your roommate left a 4 year old home alone call the police and call CPS immediately get this on record do not support someone else's child
He should have discussed money before agreeing to babysitting.
The son demanding bk that son obviously hasn't been beaten
It doesnt matter what their reasoning is. Destroying someone's vehicle is a crime and she deserves everything she gets
This women couldn’t even stick to what she said about a single breakfast - act out and there won’t be one. Five minutes til she caved. Disgusting! She’s the one who needed therapy a decade ago, or better yet, a dang parenting class!!
Call him uncle affair baby!! Lmfao
13 year old acting out? My mother would have taken a belt to my behind. Video games? Trash it. No junk food? have an apple. CPS can have him.
Call him Bunkle. Baby uncle. Uncle baby.
Call CPS. Should have called cps as soon as she walked out. Asking questions after being gone for three days is ridiculous.
Bring back corporal punishment
Call the little brat uncle fester.
I also have an uncle that’s about 28 years younger than I am. He’s in his 30’s now. I have never called him uncle.
Story 1 press charges definitely. She needs to be held accountable and she's not a little kid. Don't let them buy their way out of it . Otherwise the girl friend will think she can buy her way out of EVERYTHING. Press charges. You need to pay him because he lost money. Pay him . After all it's your problem not his. Be responsible and pay him. You should call him the brat little uncle. And walk away laughing. 3 rd story put him in foster care for awhile and see how he likes that . That might help him understand things. Don't be afraid tell CPS that he is uncontrollable. Let him pount. He needs help be a responsible parent. He will cry , through tatrems and who knows what. Put him in a program now before it's too late. Because one day he will try to break you . Ella's mom needs to be taught what it is to be a mother. You should call CPS immediately . It will be a great thing for ELLA . If something happens you will be blamed to. Call CPS now
"Uncle"?: I found the best comment to the laughing, enabling parents of a five year old "King" running the house was ... "THAT will be charming in the next ten years when he's fifteen and taller than you"! It would worked. Yes, PARENTING.
Lol grandpa was a rolling stone
Send that little bastard to the farm 🚜 hard work will take away all of that aggressive.
Story 2, yes YTA. He lost money by dropping your daughter last minute, he had to cancel paid work for you & harmed his reputation as a reliable tutor. Pay him that's the least you can do.
CALL CPS NOW.
Call him Grandpa Brian!!!!!
You should introduce him as my stupid childish. Uncle Brian
Tell Ella she loves her
Call CPS and move.
Last Story - CPS. You call. Right now! God this is infuriating 😤😤😤
Son and CPS...while the farm is definitely valid, I would also be talking with the school administration. While by law they need to report suspected abuse this should never have been reported without something more than a kid saying he is being starved.
What about lunches as a start. Any evidence of malnutrition? Etc. Has the kid been going on about it for multiple times?
Call your uncles mom grandma every time you see her!
Babysitting story: OP is a jerk. The BIL missed paying work to watch his child, for four hours. I hope the BIL tells OP to get bent the next time he asks for anything.
Son story: Good lort, what a brat. The son would definitely be getting shipped off to somewhere that would straighten out that attitude. I hope spending time on his father’s farm will be good for him and he’s not going to just be terrorizing his half siblings and destroying things there.
Roommate story: OP was right to report the abandonment of a child. The roommate doesn’t get to dump her child on OP for days on end just because she had a hard life or whatever, she is a terrible, neglectful mother. OP is a kind and caring person for taking care of the little girl for so long, but that’s not her responsibility. I hope the little girl is placed in a home where she will be loved and cared for. The roommate needs to get her tubes tied.
Tell your son that, obviously, whatever you’ve tried to do hasn’t been working. Telling lies that cause CPS or police visits & his behavior proves this.
And maybe a different place to live & living with his dad will help.
Bratty “uncle”: Call him Bub - “Bratty Uncle Brian”. The OP would technically be following the brat’s demands while also pointing out an obvious issue.
I would have told CPS to take my son maybe they can help him, but I also would have told them that if they take him he is their from now on I don't want him back.
Tutoring Story: YTA. You are not entitled to the time of others, even family.