Unfortunately, the same thing happens in families. I was sexually abused by my dad. My mom knew and helped him to cover it up. Even today, no one will accept that it happened. I had to cut off contact with my family because of all of it. Thanks for standing up for victims. We really don't have a voice. Everyone seems to prefer to pretend it doesn't happen.
> Everyone seems to prefer to pretend it doesn't happen. Similar to the violence inflicted on innocent animals for taste pleasure. Humans cannot know peace until we eat peacefully.
Have you read the book the body keeps the score from Bessel Van Der Kolk? You really have to read it, you will find the answers there, you might have to do treatment. I’m starting EMDR therapy next week. Let me know if you want to know what it’s about. You are not alone. Best wishes.
literally sobbing my eyes out because i’ve never felt so validated in my life. thank you for making me feel okay about struggling ever since what happened to me. it’s so important we talk about these things
Impressive dealing with difficult truths! Impressive depth, clearity! He speaks about the environment from inside, and has grown so much beyond. Impressive!
As a straight male who was sexually abused by 3 older neighborhood boys (I was 9/10, they 12/13) I was a good athlete so I could hang w the older kids (played D1 baseball) Repressed it all till I was an undergrad, still don’t know all that happened It’s been a struggle for me, thankfully I have a son & he’s lived w me since he was 11 (17 now) so that’s a big help for me But I feel broken inside most days, and friends who said they’d be there for me…weren’t or those that were or tried, missed their marks so much that idk if I’ll ever open to anyone else again besides a therapist I’ve been to 3, all women, I can’t talk to a man about this & 2 of them wrote a letter to me sayin they couldn’t be my therapist due to “professional reasons” ie they had a crush on me The consequences of being abused as a boy must be discussed more often & ppl need to understand how devastating it can be for some people Bless everyone who has dealt w this in their lives. Ik how hard it can be
The mental side of this abuse can continue forever, you dont have to tell your wife all the details but i hope your speaking to a therapist as they are trained to deal with these things and will help you process what happened. Being abused as a child doesnt make you not masculine as you never asked to be abused and they were an adult and a child would not be able to defend or rationalise whats happened or the implications of it till they are older. Its good others have opened up about it and man or women should always speak up against any types of abuse, i am so glad these men have spoken up because purpotrators thrive due to keeping their victims silence. This is such great progress and the more we talk about it the people would know that its unacceptable.
I agree that elite athletes are never schooled in how to live in the real world. I think that my abuse in childhood - made me a very great athlete. However, when I finally became happy I discovered that I did not mind if I did not win races. This was the greatest thing of my life. But then I had to learn to live in the world.
This says nothing about the long term effects or options for dealing with them outside of his experience in relation to spirts in particular... Not very informative at all
I live with this long term effect since I was a child I was sexually abused by my brother who is 4 years older than me by 2 miscarriages different dads also my mom failed to protect me because she favoritism’s my brother and my sister over me and my dad plus my mom knew my dad since there where in elementary school thru middle school together also I have suffered from this from a long time because it’s a generational curse on my mom side of family of 15 kids nine boys 5 girls some of my uncles where rapping my aunties including my moms mom also it was past down to my great grandmother men raping my aunties and my grandma also it still goes on to this day my diseased aunt my mom sister was touched by my great grandmother man when she was 12 years old so it’s difficult to deal with.
29:09 obviously, being a woman prevents me from understanding male experiences of societal expectations, but I doubt that it's gendered socialisation that makes this difficult.
Unfortunately, the same thing happens in families. I was sexually abused by my dad. My mom knew and helped him to cover it up. Even today, no one will accept that it happened. I had to cut off contact with my family because of all of it. Thanks for standing up for victims. We really don't have a voice. Everyone seems to prefer to pretend it doesn't happen.
Same happened to me. My life ended up getting threatened because I spoke up and I ended up homeless for years
@@notspeakingfornow I'm so sorry to hear that. You didn't deserve that.
> Everyone seems to prefer to pretend it doesn't happen.
Similar to the violence inflicted on innocent animals for taste pleasure. Humans cannot know peace until we eat peacefully.
I am really sorry 😞 this happened to you , hope you find your healing 🙏.
Have you read the book the body keeps the score from Bessel Van Der Kolk? You really have to read it, you will find the answers there, you might have to do treatment. I’m starting EMDR therapy next week. Let me know if you want to know what it’s about. You are not alone. Best wishes.
literally sobbing my eyes out because i’ve never felt so validated in my life. thank you for making me feel okay about struggling ever since what happened to me. it’s so important we talk about these things
It wasn't your fault. It never will be.
@@rohitbhushan8855 thank you
How are you so brave? When others can barely whisper to themselves that they might have been abused? You are to be admired.
This is one courageous man. I have so much respect for him. It makes it easier for others to come forward and speak of their pain and suffering.
This is remarkably brave - well done, Dr Harris
“That explains a lot, doesn’t it…”
I understand. 🙏
Only that person with a big courage is able to disclousure this issue as it is seen nowadays. All my respect to you❤
I have so much respect for you.
Impressive dealing with difficult truths! Impressive depth, clearity! He speaks about the environment from inside, and has grown so much beyond. Impressive!
As a straight male who was sexually abused by 3 older neighborhood boys (I was 9/10, they 12/13) I was a good athlete so I could hang w the older kids (played D1 baseball)
Repressed it all till I was an undergrad, still don’t know all that happened
It’s been a struggle for me, thankfully I have a son & he’s lived w me since he was 11 (17 now) so that’s a big help for me
But I feel broken inside most days, and friends who said they’d be there for me…weren’t or those that were or tried, missed their marks so much that idk if I’ll ever open to anyone else again besides a therapist
I’ve been to 3, all women, I can’t talk to a man about this & 2 of them wrote a letter to me sayin they couldn’t be my therapist due to “professional reasons” ie they had a crush on me
The consequences of being abused as a boy must be discussed more often & ppl need to understand how devastating it can be for some people
Bless everyone who has dealt w this in their lives. Ik how hard it can be
The mental side of this abuse can continue forever, you dont have to tell your wife all the details but i hope your speaking to a therapist as they are trained to deal with these things and will help you process what happened. Being abused as a child doesnt make you not masculine as you never asked to be abused and they were an adult and a child would not be able to defend or rationalise whats happened or the implications of it till they are older. Its good others have opened up about it and man or women should always speak up against any types of abuse, i am so glad these men have spoken up because purpotrators thrive due to keeping their victims silence. This is such great progress and the more we talk about it the people would know that its unacceptable.
I agree that elite athletes are never schooled in how to live in the real world. I think that my abuse in childhood - made me a very great athlete. However, when I finally became happy I discovered that I did not mind if I did not win races. This was the greatest thing of my life. But then I had to learn to live in the world.
Two thirds into this lecture and finally a word about the long term effects....wow...
I almost baled waiting for you to get to the point.
Agreed!!!
He’s telling the truth. Good man.
how can i contact you? im a survivor too , uk
What happened to you 😕?
This says nothing about the long term effects or options for dealing with them outside of his experience in relation to spirts in particular... Not very informative at all
I live with this long term effect since I was a child I was sexually abused by my brother who is 4 years older than me by 2 miscarriages different dads also my mom failed to protect me because she favoritism’s my brother and my sister over me and my dad plus my mom knew my dad since there where in elementary school thru middle school together also I have suffered from this from a long time because it’s a generational curse on my mom side of family of 15 kids nine boys 5 girls some of my uncles where rapping my aunties including my moms mom also it was past down to my great grandmother men raping my aunties and my grandma also it still goes on to this day my diseased aunt my mom sister was touched by my great grandmother man when she was 12 years old so it’s difficult to deal with.
20:07
Thank you 🙏
I choose to run peace
A whole bunch of words but very little clear specificity on the topic itself. Next time, please cut to the 'chase scene'.
WHAT TO DO IF A THERAPIST THAT WE GO TO TALK ABOUT THIS ABUSE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF US AND USE US FOR SEX? HOW WE CAN REMOVE OURSELF FROM THIS SITUATION?
Tell me about it, STIGMA self-loathing and gaslighting
29:09 obviously, being a woman prevents me from understanding male experiences of societal expectations, but I doubt that it's gendered socialisation that makes this difficult.
It isn't about power it's about sex
S
Sorry, this is quite useless. The video title is misleading
Thank U, This makes so much sense to Me…I am a Survivor as well 🙌🏾🦾🙌🏾