Should I Leave My BJJ Gym and Instructor After 7 Years
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.ย. 2024
- Should I leave my current BJJ gym and instructor? This is the question I received from a viewer recently. And it's a question I was forced to ask myself back in 2007.
It's a really sad and frustrating moment to reach. I know in my situation. I felt a lot of loyalty and wanted desperately to make things work with my coach. In fact, I left my originally BJJ coach and then came back. And eventually I left for good.
Not because I didn't like him or that I hated him. It happened because I felt like my Brazilian Jiu-jitsu coach didn't care and wasn't really even "there" anymore.
I mean he was there physically. But emotionally and mentally, I felt like he was somewhere else.
This is the situation our friend who sent the question in feels like he has arrived too.
I'll say it like this guys. The relationship between BJJ coach and student should be based on reciprocity. Teacher gives to the student and in turn the student gives to the teacher. The teacher pours their energy and knowledge into the student. In turn the student pays appreciation through dedication and the dues required by his/her gym.
When one side does not uphold the arrangement. This cycle stops.
The student is not a Brazilian Jiujitsu instructors property. As an instructor we do not own them. So our job is to serve them as best they can.
I would never tell anyone to just up and leave their BJJ coach. But I've seen it happen so many times and I've been there. Sometimes people become negative and create a toxic environment and it's not a positive influence on someones life. And when this happens I feel like the coach has lost their way.
Our job as a coach, as I see it, is to provide our students and the people that put their trust in us, with a positive experience. An experience that will provide the students with a good community, good training and a positive place to escape from all the crazy stuff life has to throw at them. In short I run my business in a way where I straddle a line between friendship and business. It's hard, but I believe it offers my students a great experience and keeps me close to the reasons I love BJJ so much.
I hope the video is helpful to you guys.
-Chewy
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wish i could have a profesor like chewy he is so comprehensive and cool, greetings from mexico!!!
I left after 12 years. Way happier now 😊
I just left my school at 11 years, after 2 years, 3 months WITHOUT even a stripe I was done. I Was called a belt chaser. I thought I was MORE than patient. Almost wish I would’ve left sooner.
Switching gyms for the first time so coming back to this video is helpful. It’s a painful thing to do.
thanks for the help..your video has made me happy with the decision we have made for our son to leave his academy after four years😞..lots of love to his previous coach, but alot of what you said hit the nail on the head...if you already know in your heart what's right you have to follow it..
Great video and I can relate to this one. I did 19 years of traditional martial arts. I am in law enforcement and martial arts plays a big roll in my job. My old martial arts wasn’t providing me with training and I was only teaching students. For almost two years I didn’t get any new techniques just “practice your forms.” It felt like false hope. I got tired of practicing the forms/katas. I’m not going to do a 45 million step technique with 30 pounds of gear on in real life.
One night, I got into a throw down at work and realized that I needed some ground game and another type of stand up. I got into BJJ and Muay Thai. Best decision ever. Loyalty to something that is not benefiting does not deserve your time or money.
Ronda is this you lowkey asking chewy if you should leave your boxing coach?
Deserves pinning. I actually laughed...not like Internet lol but 😂
Her coach thinks he's responsible for her success in acting and pro wrestling. What a fucking lunatic.
This video could not come at a more perfect time! Thank you Chewy!
Sometimes it's not always the instructor at fault. In other martial arts, certain age groups prefer to train with a bigger group, and if their friends aren't going, they won't go too. They'll jusy skip so many classes, each one giving the excuse of "Every time I come, no one else comes". They continue this for the next 2 years and some eventually stop practicing altogether or just jump to another club. I feel that if they want to
get something out of the instructors, they should show loyalty and effort. If not then they shouldn't easily moving to another club. Looking forward to your thoughts in this. Been teaching for more than 12 years and experienced ups and downs. Also, they should give instructors a chance to improve in all aspects.
Left my "home" gym after 3 years. Nothing against the instructor, but the other students started disliking me, ignoring me, talking or even looking at my eyes. Weird. Some gossip started apparently that I never get the chance to learn what was about. End up leaving, and head instructor got in rage mode, insulted me and everything, although my decision wasn't about the teaching. Anyway, I'm glad I left . There was always a better gym blocks away that I always wanted to join anyway.
There is also another facet to consider before jumping schools, in training called "giving"
Sometimes you might get coached up to a certain level, with one coach/teacher, then move to another coach/teacher, but assist at the old club, keeping true to their club routines/drills for a certain period of time.
That way you can drive the enthusiasm at the old club, keeping fresh yourself with seminars/youtube etc.or visits to a rival club to develop.
After a number of years coaching I think keeping fresh is a state of mind and as a judo coach, we take the same model of continuous improvement with hard training (overload principal) to keep on evolving.
Really good video. Puts to words thoughts that are juggling through my (or anyone’s mind). Loyalty is def a two way street and when I’ve lost my buy in to the culture and lost sight of where my bjj should go, then stepping back and deciding to go is the best. Unfortunately I never really had the level of communication with my coach/professor to open up, slipping away quietly just seems like the right exit strategy since my reasons for leaving just echo everyone else’s.
thank you, I've ran into a similar situation at mma gym, where it was all cool and we all like a family but then they changed management. All of great friends have left as well as great coaches. Ive only stayed because we have a great bjj coach (ive stop doing any other training because I didnt feel like I was being taught anything, just a $) but if im only training bjj, the classes are only 2 a week. im a busy person so if I miss one of those days that halves my training. Belt promotions are today (word is im getting my blue belt :D) id hate to dash with the belt but this video really encouraged. Thank you.
Owen C Yes I did :D thanks for asking! just in time too cuz im doing a presentation for school and cant walk in as a white belt xD
Owen C Yes strangle anyone who dares defy me MUAHAHAHA. It took me about 2 and half years of 2-3 times a week.
12 years and I am in the exact same boat.
I’m in the same boat right now hilarious. My Prof is like my pops but in the past few years his promotions have been soft. I can’t support fake promotions and fake ass candy belts no more. Sat down and had a serious conversation with the man and we don’t see eye to eye anymore. If you’re thinking about leaving your school. I recommend talking about it with your prof first. If you feel the same way after then take it to the next step. Bring back the good old days. BB Here 🤙
Thank you for sharing this one Chewy. This is a tough one and your perspective on it was great to hear
quick question are there situations where staying is out of the question the second you find out that the instructor did something so eggregious....ie he raped a student? ie he is a dirtbag?
Here here! Thanks chew!
Hey Chewy, Great video, this advice is something you can apply in many situations in life, not exclusive to jiu jitsu training.
OK I read through everything and this is my thoughts; I totally agree, but then you also need to think of this in about seven years rate, nine years a lot of guys are getting ready to get their black belts. For me in jujitsu it took me over 10 years to do that, and I was a multi state wrestling champ, All-America, Freestyle and Greco Roman champion and a judo Black belt! The thing that I'm saying is a lot of people might've left, and I think that's really important and I think the teacher should actually really work hard, and helping his students. But if that person is just doing it because the one guy was not given his black belt for him, and then the other guys are giving away black belts like candy. That's a problem so it really is a situational situation. But I think always you need to do that talk to your instructor and tell him exactly what you need and hopefully he can accommodate you :)
#UFC232 #KEEPBRASILCREONTEFREE
Took me three months. Love the new place.
I've actually personally have this problem with my karate class. (I do jiu-jitsu as well). But my issue is two fold, one my instructor is my step-dad. Second of all I believe I've surpassed him in the technical and physical ability of the martial art. We've both been doing it the same amount of years (12), he was just more devoted than I originally was.
He's instructing ability isn't what I hoped it would become and my training is only to push myself.
He's not a bad instructor, it's just he doesn't push the direction of the club where it needs to go, and if given the opportunity to teach I could easily surpass him in my ability to motivate and instruct the martial art.
makethelaughs have you coached before?
Just curious.
Hey chewy thanks for this video and all the work you put into all of your content. I really appreciate you and your knowledge. That be said what are you thoughts on blue belt instructors?
So, the highest belt at my current gym is a blue belt and the head instructor. My family and I have been attending for almost a year now and all three of us have earned our 3rd stripe white belt, but we don’t roll. Like at all. I went to a new gym that a friend invited us to and we rolled right after instruction as I’m sure most other schools do. I’m at a point where I need more of a challenge and even want to learn how to strike. A lot of new white belts come in often I then feel like I’m teaching someone new and I don’t get to really train at all. I know it sounds selfish but I don’t really break a sweat ever. I want to roll more or at least a little and not just stick to the same moves over and over. I know I’m not better than anyone either. I know I have much to learn and I’m so open and so teachable to gaining the knowledge. I love my current gym I really really do but again feel like I never break a sweat. There is also this weird invisible wall between white belts and blue belts there. Maybe because the highest belt is blue. 🤷🏽♀️ It’s just weird that Not one blue belt in my current school has tried to roll with me. They have however rolled with my husband. I get it I’m a woman and everyone underestimates my strength, what I can take, and my commitment.
So I go to this other gym today and I rolled with a very nice gentlemen who is a purple belt. It’s almost like the belts didn’t exist and I just did what I thought I should. Of course he smothered and smashed me but I never not once got that kind of respect from my current gym. The purple belt told me I was very strong and then showed me some of the holes in my jiu Jitsu game. I rolled with a no stripe white belt after that and she was telling me where to submit her because i just wasn’t seeing it because I’ve never rolled! I guess I’m answering my own questions as to whether my family and I should switch but I also don’t want to be a gym hopper. I’m just a loyal person and I absolutely love love love the family we’ve made at our current gym. At the same time it all just makes me sad. Sad at how much fun I had at this new gym and sad that we just might be leaving them and it really does feel like I’d be leaving them 😞 I just want to learn to the best of my ability I feel it is starting to flow and like I just need more of a challenge. I also feel like everyone including my head instructor are afraid to touch me because I’m a woman. But that’s an entirely different rant lol! Anyway, thank you for your time bro you’re awesome. Back to the original question after all of my rambling, what are your thoughts on blue belt instructors?
I totally agree I didn't look at the comment I'm gonna do that right now that way I don't say stuff that just anyone says but I to say I appreciate you buddy and happy Thanksgiving
Hey chewy, my 7 year old little brother keeps walking me with a sword. Do I do a berimbollo or do
50/50?
Happy thanksgiving
Neither. Go reverse de la riva. XD
Shoudnt this one be anonimous?
Would it be crazy if I opened up my own gym as purple belt.my gym has become toxic, but there nowhere else to go.
I'm thinking I can compensate for my lack of knowledge by being an open source more democratic gym.
What do you think?
Alright Jiu Jitsu community, give me your honest advice. I have been at my gym for 2 years, and I have two stripes on my white belt. A guy I asked to come about 8 months ago has been promoted to two stripes. I routinely tap these guys. I can tap every white belt we have and I rally feel like I am not a white belt. The other day when he gave out stripes, he (instructor) made eye contact with me and I thought, finally, and he called out another persons name and I didn't get one again. Everyone asks me what is going on and I have no idea. I'm just there learning and don't really care that much, but I'm wondering if he is trying to run me off. I start from guard each time and have been working from bottom for atleast a year. I drive 1 hour each way to get there and there is no other gym around, 2-3 times a week faithfully. I just don't know what to do, other than learn and just go on with two stripes. I routinely tap a few blue belts, and there are only a few blue belts there that tap me, but that's part of it, I am learning. Lots of upper belts tap me regularly. I try to learn and be rrspectful, but I'm just not sue what is going on. Anyone is welcome to give me some honest feedback. I went to a gym on vacation in Nashville and they asked me why only two stripes. I told them I honestly didn't know. They all said "leave" find another gym, but they don't understand my situation. Thee is no other place wishing 1-1/2 hr of me, and I've made some friends there. I asked my instructor what I needed to do to get better and he said stop muscling so much. That's why about a year ago I started starting from bottom, so I work Jiu Jitsu. I'm about 175 lb.
Lu Jitsu, I feel you dude and believe me you are not alone man. I am in the same boat now. The idea that you have to fight to get his attention is absolutely bogus, you are paying him to be ignored??? he is supposed to be your mentor not the guy you pay to be your dictator who berates you, a guy who wants respect but refuses to give it, slow promotion is acceptable, its bjj afterall, but he sure as shit better be invested in you as a student
Lu Jitsu I am an a similar situation my head instructor's son who is a black belt, and another instructor at some days is nice outwardly and at other days is petty and a certified dick who is just waiting to give me shit, i have been promoted at roughly the same rate you have been only I am 8 years in, I am a blue belt with 1 stripe, been a year since my last stripe
If i show up late to class because of unreliable public transportation, other instructors who i respect deeply are like no worries man and then they don't give me shit, yet the head instructor's son is a loose cannon and i can never predict when he is going to blow up on me, or make me miserable,
he never gives me attention when i need it, and he doesn't promote me regularly, he doesn't seem to be invested in my development as a martial artist, he is very authoritarian, his dad is getting older so he is kind of effectively in charge
Lujitsu i have a list of questions for you.
Does your instructor make an effort to greet you, is he interested in your life? does he care about your family? does he seem to care about you as a mentor and a friend? does he seem to care?
or does he seem more concerned with giving you a cheap excuse of why its your fault that he is unable to provide that to you?
Are there at least other instructors at the gym that you can rely on to be mentors?
What do you do when your old coaches left and the new ones bring in tons of high level guys that are huge and its not fun rolling anymore ?? Last Tuesday they wanted me to roll with Purple belt guys who were in their 20's and far bigger than me and I told them I had to go to work. They bought it but i am not going to injury myself
Nobody will ever use me as a punching bag !!! I know my limits
My bjj bros I need serious advice the gym I'm at is good, fun and get this, free! But for me only. However my classes r kina short only a hour tops. Worst part is they don't have a belt system so I'm stuck at wb been one for over a year so no stripe or bb for me but its a good gym.my friends gym however I been to is good plus a bigger matt area, and longer class time and roll time, and Ive made good friends there there month rate is no prob for me and obviously they have a belt system so yes belt advancement for me. Personally I hate switching gyms cuz I feel like crap but I really wanna get better and further my bjj journey and earn my stripes etc. Advice please thanks
Not having belt advancement doesn't mean that you aren't getting better. Are you training no gi or something?
5
Be a creonte lol