My BJJ Coach Snapped at Me And I'm Not Sure Why
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ม.ค. 2018
- Have you ever had to deal with a authoritarian BJJ coach?
This is the problem our buddy "Bob" is having.
Bob is someone who enjoys cracking jokes and laughing with his Brazilian Jiu-jitsu training partners.
But recently, his coach who used to be very friendly, has become more stern and standoffish.
This came to a head when he greeted his BJJ coach one day when walking into the gym.
His coach, returned the greeting with a quick stern stare and a not so nice reply.
Bob has now found a weird spot where he feels unable to talk to his coach. Worst of all he feels like his coach doesn't like him.
Obviously this has created some issues in his Brazilian Jiujitsu experience and he's not sure how to progress.
As I explain in this video, I imagine it's 1 or 2 things. Either Bob is interpreting what his coach said in a way that it was not intended.
Or
Maybe his coach is trying to be more standoffish due to poor advice on how he should interact with his students.
I hope this video is helpful to you if you have found yourself in this situation in your BJJ gym.
Also, if you have ever had this situation. I'd love your input on what you did.
-Chewy
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Jiu Jitsu is a hobby for 99% of us. Nobody wants to pay to not have fun!
@@cunnelatio you're a human bean too?
@@sonicfx5431 Loving how you refer to human beings as human beans. I'm so using that. XD
@@cunnelatio GSP
@@cunnelatio and a real hero?
Well said.
I don't think his coach was joking. I'd talk to the coach, alone, and if that can't resolve the issue then I'd consider leaving the gym. We put a lot of trust into our trainers and training partners, it's too dangerous (and not fun) to train with someone who wants to do you harm. High school drama should be left in high school, life is too short for that shit.
That last sentence tho.
@Sam True, Coach is (usually) the baddest dude in the gym, which means it's their job to protect their students and not abuse the skills and experience they have to bully and intimidate them. A black belt threatening you while within reaching distance, is no different than a dude pulling a weapon on you in my opinion.
@Sam thats pussy shit tho. Atleast confront the guy.
@@cyruskhalvati SUPER BRO ALERT
100% agreed.
Prior experience says this is the best choice of action.
Man, Bob should definitely cancel his membership. There's never a reason to disrespect the people who are putting food on your table and enabling you to teach jiu jitsu, which is a dream job.
I’d say a big portion of the BJJ community watches your channel so the coach might sees that lmfao.
Easy way to diffuse that situation.... Say ok then coach Ill be cancelling my membership.
Or quit being such a big baby. Wrestling and Boxing Coaches act like this as well but if it's BJJ oh no it's adult day care. Suck it up, grow a pair and train. If your training for fun yeah leave, if your training to get good then suck it up and grind. Sometimes egos clash between coach and athlete, it happens, deal with it.
Sayto Ayala no coach has the right to treat his students like trash. The coach is being paid by the student. Its simple principle. How do you not get it?
If your improving that all that matters. That's what your paying him/her for, not paying him to make you feel good. If your not improving then leave. I understand some guys can't train under harsh conditions... ok leave.
But what "bob" was experiencing was nothing to get worried about, like I said it happens in wrestling often and even worse in boxing. If the coach was constantly bullying him and "bob" along with the entire team stopped improvement then I'd say: yeah leave. But that's probably not the case and "bob" is being a little pussy.
Sayto Ayala please for the love of christ do not coach anyone with that level of mentality.
Coaches are to mentor and teach their students. That's their income. Only person harming themself is the coach financially. The student can always go to another gym. And if the student is popular with the other teammates that's worse for the coach because the students leave. Not everyone trains to be competitive. Some do it because it helps with fitness, builds confidence, get away from problems at work/home. The coach is ruining the happiness and well being of his student.
Its nothing about being a "pussy" its just fucking common sense.
Coaches have to lead by example. They are the one the students look up to. There are other constructive ways to motivate your students. Be a role model.
There's no fixing that situation, there's no "understanding" why he said it. Once a coach even feels like it's okay to say something like that to you, the relationship is done. Find a new gym and never look back, and tell the other people who train there too.
People have shitty days, forgiveness is personal dog
yea maybe he jokeing, or maybe since the guy alwasy telling joke the teacher was mad at him.
@@shinobi-no-bueno forgiveness is so hard
Just a hint. If your coach is clearly intimidating you with "Don't look at me", ask him politely if he's joking. If he continues with the same line, ask him nicely "Otherwise?". At that point almost any violent/treatening/hostile reaction from him will justify you to ask for a refund and you'll be free to look for another, more balanced environment in which to train.
ArtinArt this is how to make the most fun out of it😂
Asking someone who has years of training over you “otherwise” and you come at them hostile won’t go well. They’re already acting like an asshole what makes you think they won’t use that as an excuse to put hands on someone lesser skilled
@@johnmag202 this isnt a heat of the moment on the mat interaction, this is a merchant customer interaction and the merchant is demanding the other not look at him or address him for no reason. If Bob says "otherwise" and the coach does anything but laugh, ie, threaten etc, you say, cool give me my money I'll go somewhere else. And then you tell others of your experience or even leave a google / Yelp review. Most people work for a living and take time away from there family to enjoy the awesome sport / martial art and have no time for such nonsense. You dont see joe rogan telling Eddie bravo yes sensei as he tents about the earth being flat, the real world exists out of the gym.
If the coach gets more aggressive, threatens or gets hostile - you can threaten legal action for intimidation and threatening behavior. I doubt if the coach would like bad publicity.
@Ivan he never said anything about that?
I want to hear the end of this story!!! 'Bob', what hapenned?!
Challenge your coach to a fight
for the ownership of the gym
Japanese style lol
@@anonymousmale2646 hahahahah
whoop his ass bro
Hahahaha
Heres the thing about being my coach.
I'll respect your rules, follow instructions, try to be productive, keep my head in the game and try hard to learn and train.
If at any point your going to treat me like I'm not paying you to train me and paying you for a place where I can be comfortable and train without worrying about whether my coach likes me, I'm out. Treat me like I'm your paycheck. Get rough when it comes to training me but if I say hi and you snap at me, I'll find another gym. We dont have to be friends but I'm not here for that.
Beginners are the stream of new blood and they in turn can be the best word of mouth advertising. If you are not supporting the newbies you’ll kill your own business which is ultimately why you’re there not just to roll . Business is business
Wow. This dude is literally like the nicest guy in the world. So important when you're a white belt who just spent the last 20 rolls eating @#$& in side control, that there's an awesome upbeat coach amped-up and eager to mentor you through to the other side. Thanks, Chewy, you made my day.
Was there ever a follow-up to this? "Don't look at me" is pretty out there.
yeh im curious too
I would like to know the outcome also
It comes off pretty aggressive but ask any vet they've probably heard it in jest
@@kylemiles7484 not the military, we don't do that shit
Once it becomes awkward on a gym, you gotta go somewhere else. Happened to me. Either teammates stop talking to you, or coach gets all weird.... BJJ is a loooooooooong journey. You want to spend those years surrounded by people that you like and likes you, and be promoted by somebody you trust and cares about you. There are lots of gyms!
Instead of bottling in all that confusion, anxiety, and other negative feelings, people (including myself at times) just need to clarify the situation immedetialy right there and then. When the coach says that to him, he's essentially saying 1 of 2 things: I'm mad at you for something you did, or I'm mad at something in my life and I'm taking it out on you.
"Sorry, did I do something to inadvertently upset you?"
Figure out a solution, shake on it, move on. 9 times out of 10 these problems are solved within 1-2 mins.
It's harder when they don't tell you and keep it a mystery
I experienced this at a gym where the two grappling coaches were just complete jerks and would routinely yell or make fun of students and I never got yelled at cause I come from a old school dad and coaches so I know how to shut up and fall in line but the atmosphere was never fun and light hearted which bothered me because the striking coach in contrast was the best coach I ever had so I gave up grappling for a long time because the striking classes were just so much more light hearted and fun. Like I’m not paying a 1000 bucks a year to be a grown man getting yelled at by another grown man.
Good points made. Two more possibilities--1. Maybe his coach has come to feel that Bob is spreading a too casual, non serious attitude that detracts from the students learning as well and quickly as possible. Or, 2. Maybe somebody has told some untrue, negative gossip about Bob--perhaps out of envy, jealousy, misunderstanding. Bob should talk to the coach respectfully, in private--to find out WHY his attitude has changed. Or, he should leave and not recommend anyone to his gym, ever again.
good points how about this extra point
why can't the coach speak to bob as his in a higher level of the food chain
your first point 1. if this was the case the coach should have spoke to bob 121
your second point 2. again the coach should speak to bob 121
Hearing chewy talk about how he treats his students as his buddies is really awesome. Hes like a big fun teddy bear until you piss him off
I drive almost an hour each way for my gym. There are closer ones, but I need to go to a gym that suites my needs. I recommend people shop around at gyms to find what they like. I know gym loyalty is a thing. but just because you started somewhere doesn't mean that's where you need to train
That's what I did. I bounced around a bit to find my gym. Good advice.
@@theexplorer7139 I think I got lucky, 3 months in and like them
Talk it out if you want to continue, otherwise just go somewhere else. If talking doesn't go well it's not likely to suddenly change back. Relationships are fragile and it's hard for most humans to let things go completely.
My two cents worth. It's a business--you pay good money to go there and learn. He's there to make money. If this has become an authoritative thing on his part where it's all about "respect" then leave and go else where. You are there by choice. If it becomes uncomfortable for others they'll leave too. Mr. BJJ's attitude will change back in a hurry.
I'm here for some time, already few videos behind me on this channel and I would love to roll with Chewie. So humble and kind person, I guess it's a pure pleasure to be friend of him, sparingpartner, mate, just friendly soul. I can feel good vibes coming from him, good person without a doubt. Such a shame I'm from Europe and can't even have a chance to meet this guy. Dont know how, but this guy honestly got to me with his mindset. Greetings from Poland (Szczecin)!
The coach has absolutely no right to say "Don't talk to me like you know me" or "don't look at me".
If he's in a shitty mood, fair enough, it happens, but it's his job to manage that shit, he's at work.
When I'm at work, I have to act professionally, and I'm fine with that.
Good video Chewy, and I can't agree more about the importance of a good friendly relationship in the gym. If you're going to go from white to black belt you're going to spend thousands of hours with these people. Can't wait to come down and give your gym a visit.
He should just ask coach to take it outside, like man. Here in Russia these hands are rated E for Everyone.
Voyded except for the fact that he’s his jui jitsu coach and would most likely fuck him up lmao but I enjoyed the joke nonetheless
Hands or not, my professor taught me what I know. If he's pissed im not testing him. I out weigh him by 50lbs and him toying with me makes me feel like new white belt(I'm a 2 blue)
Pick a fight with your fighting coach, seems legit.
I’ve heard this E shit too many times.
I experienced the opposite, I wished my coach was more professional and didn't joke around so much. I'm not saying he should be super serious all the time with no sense of humor, but keep jokes to a minumum and show up on time or simply show up. Sometimes we waste 20, 30 minutes just socializing and making fun of each other. I want to learn jiu jitsu not hear jokes. You can chill and joke after class!
phuckfumassters brazilian instructor?
Oreo Carlton no, he's American.
I have a similar problem, we can spend the first 20 minutes on a fricking warmup and sometimes they are only breathing exercises. Other times he'll take 10 minutes to explain a portion of a simple technique because he's cracking jokes every 30 seconds.
My coach can be similar in the way that he's a huge Jiu Jitsu nerd ans sometimes just goes on these tangents about things that happened in jiu jitsu history instead of showing whatever technique he was supposed to mention. I think its funny
you know you can train on your own without the teacher too.
like if hes late, stretch or warm up.
practice old lessons and techniques.
he already taught you something.
its your job to master it on your own time.
the new material will be more appreciated when the old one is better understood and practiced.
my two cents.
I wish you were my couch your awesome at analysing yourself to help improve yourself because your still trying to become a better trainer to help ypur students and your great at breaking down situations keep it up mate love the channel
Right On Chew! Or the coach might be going through some shhhh at home or something. we're all human and prone to have bad days. Now hook it up with a free shirt Chewman! Great vid as always and keep em coming!
I think chewys first idea was on point but maybe the other way around. "Bob" likes to crack jokes and maybe the instructor felt disrespected by something bob was unaware of and felt the need to assert himself because bob was getting too comfortable fucking around with him.
this is very possible but when you are running the school it's odd for you to feel like you should be snide instead of direct about it.
It "maybe the other way around" and it "maybe" a completely different reason, but we have no clue because the instructor never just came out and said what it is that made him angry. Frankly even if the coach has a valid reason to be angry his reaction is sinking any chance of rectifying the situation.
It's unfortunate that he didn't just come out and say what it was that made him feel wronged.
Coach must be a teacher. My coach, kickboxing, snapped at me before but non of that trash personality. "alright enough jokes now! you have to separate between friend time and coach time. It's coach time now. Be more aware of the situation next time" so he still kept the friend status even when he's snapping at me. I was 17 at the time and he treated me like an adult. Coach cant be someone who is so fragile emotionally or a bully or bipolar. he must be in control of his emotions even when he's disciplining a student.
Bottom line, that coach is unstable mentally and probably slightly neurotic and insecure. and that's considering Bob deserved a scolding.
I feel more of a possibility is that one cunt of a student told the "coach"that Bob bad mouthed him and said so and so about him. instead of gently confronting him, he does this. Man-child I would not train under him for another day.
Chewy your such an awesome dude! love the the spirit and the content!
I would love to pass by the gym whenever im near! Love the human spirit brother!! Cheers
After watching this video and listening to how treat your students, I would sign to train at your gym TOMORROW!! Unfortunately I live in Michigan. You sound like an awesome coach!! I hope I can visit your gym someday!
My first Jitsu coach, a long time ago, great guy then he started juicing. Everything changed. He ended up closing down the school and hanging himself. Very sad.
That is some juice! What kind was it?
Mike E orange
Amun Muniz must be that orange juice from Mariano’s!
Cool story bro
Wow, I could see that happening.
Awesome vid. Keep up the great work!!!
great advice as per usual!
you are one cool dude bro ..stay as you are chew great advice
The coach must have forgot the employer/employee relationship. The student pays the coach or owner that pays the coach therefore the coach works for you. If a coach acts like this, then take your money elsewhere.
Great advice brother---
communication is the key, in every life situation.
Hi Professor Chewie I hope nothing but the best for you and all of your students in 2018
You give really sound advice on a number of situations.
I had a similar situation with an immediate supervisor at work many years ago. He had a great sense of humor and very easy to get along with. One day he just started being really cold towards me (and only me). To this day I don't know what I did/said but after a few weeks he started treating me normal again.
omg i can relate
Jeremiah T where I work there is this girl who was very nice and professional to me but this past month she changed her behavior torwads me I asked her why and she says everything's cool except it isn't, she's acting like a child and everyone notices it too! yesterday she came to me and asked me if I could finish her job because her time is up for the day and wants to go home ???? I simply looked her in the eyes and said you do it I'm not your boxing bag she was shocked for a second and then said sorry go figure it out
Communication is lacking in todays society. We like to make assumptions rather than just pull someone aside and talk to them. Not by email, Facebooking, Instagram or texting. Actually talking face to face and calmly talk like adults.
So many problems can get resolved or cleared-up quickly by this. Yeah!
I've had a couple coaches like this in the past, and I've thought similar things. Good question/response. Eventually I just kept looking around and found a place that meshed with my humor/attitude.
As soon as you posed the question the first thing I thought was "A bull crap webinar!!" I am glad you brought that up. When you are trying to build a jiu jitsu community, holding your students at arms length is a terrible idea. If you are trying to create 'warriors'...maybe.
Insightful Q A!
Thanks brother.
I wanna know how it panned out!!! Good luck bob!
I appreciate that you address relevant issues pertaining to JJ Culture and sociodynamics. A black belt in JJ doesn't come with an emotional intelligence equivalent credential.
This guy is solid. Wish everyone was like this dude lol.
Interesting topic. I've actually seen this kinda first hand, many years ago. I tried out at a Shotokan school for a few weeks and the last lesson I attended the Sensei lectured EVERYONE at the end of class that he was "not putting up with" the way people addressed him by his NAME outside of the Dojo. He basically said, "you will call me Sensei, or we're going to fall out".
Equally, I have my own situation currently, where I've returned to training after a long break and everything has been going kinda ok...though I can't do half what I used to be able to do. Last week we had an instructor filling in (while the senior instructor was away) and he got on my case over exercises that I refused to do. My reason for refusing was that I was feeling physically sick, had laboured breathing, and stitch in my side. But that wasn't "good enough" as far as he was concerned.
I made sure not to direct it at him, but I got VERY angry and almost walked out. This is a situation that I'm definitely going to have to monitor, especially if he takes class again; because it seems that my best just isn't good enough for him.
Anyway, sorry for rambling.
Hey Chewie! I've been doing BJJ for about two weeks now, and I really enjoy it! Always nice to watch one of these videos. Last class, I got a sub on someone 80+ lbs larger than me, and I love that smaller guys can take on larger ones for the most part.
I'm no expert in any sense, I just wanted to give thanks for these videos.
I'm also ready to get my butt whooped at a tournament, and day of marks one month in BJJ! I don't really want to win, but to learn is my goal. I also just like competition settings.
Oh god, this comment is all over the place, I guess with your attention I have I'll remind you to hydrate I guess.
Sounds like you already had the best base for jiu jitsu. 6 years later, how did this all go?
If you feel that way you are probably right. I wasted years training under coaches that hated me. Go find a school where the coaches aren't so full of themselves. I trained martial arts my entire life. They talk about not having ego while having the biggest ego's I've ever seen.
I really love your videos man, you seem like a fantastic guy.
Good video great advice
Id straight up ask what's your deal. He's a coach. I'm not afraid to ask superiors if everything is ok when behavior changes.
Talking straight is better than passive aggressive behavior
Eh sounds like a case of situational awareness; the class clown routine gets tiring very quick for some people, and that kid was probably being disrespectful and didnt realize it because he has bad manners.
F ab I agree 100%. I was thinking the same thing. He could be thinking he is a funny guy but everyone else finds him obnoxious
It’s possible……but there’s a way to address that. “Don’t talk or look at me”?is not the correct way .
We need updates to these questions!
Not only a good tip for training BJJ, but every time you go to learn something new and you're not sure of something, ASK YOUR TUTOR/TEACHER (or anything of the same sort), there is always someone (normally guaranteed) who is better than you or has more knowledge or experience on the matter, if they can't take a couple seconds out of their day to either teach you something or resolve a problem, then they're not worth your time. I'm on my 3rd year of college and the first year I kept getting frustrated because I wouldn't know something, didn't really help that I've always been super shy to confront anyone, but once I started to man-up and start asking questions, no matter how stupid or whatever, I learned so much. I digress a little, but the whole point is that if you can't have a good relationship with your coach/teacher (etc.) to the point where you feel like you cannot talk to them, you either need to step-up and say what you want to say, or, find someone else.
This guy has to be the coolest coach ever
I recently restarted taking BJJ after taking it a few times at the end of last year after having a surgery. My gym has 2 trainers & the second one who would go unnamed has been very intense, almost intimidating. Mind you, I never taken BJJ, but more than willing to learn. He literally yelled at every opportunity as if I knew what I was doing. I teach myself & felt like this was a very poor way to teach. I don't want to quit...so I will be looking for a different gym.
I know it's been a long time since this comment was posted but are you in a better place now? I hope so man
Mcdojo rule #1: All students will address the Sensei as Sir, Sensei, Your Honor, or My Lord.
Lmfao gtfo Bob.
very nice video. what i realized over the years of training is that this bjj-family thing...we love each other and so on is unfortunately just a myth. i talked to some people from different academies and also realized it by myself, that the moment when you get injured and have to stay home, all of a sudden nobody cares whether you are coming to the classes or not. i have always had this illusion in my mind, thats its because of me but since i have talked to other people and they told me the same, bjj as this brotherhood philosophy thing does not exist for me anymore. maybe you could make a video about this topic...thx
I'm sorry that's been your experience. I think depending on where you train could be a lot of it. I train in the midwest, and my gym literally does feel like a family. We most definitely have wolves in here, but they're not out to get you, they're just protective of their flock (gym members). Everyone at the gym I attend is treated with respect, including first time beginners. My Professor does call and ask or e-mail/facebook message to see what's wrong and why you haven't been in class. He's very personable and does care about his students... it seems especially moreso for the ones who train a lot and he can tell care beyond just getting a workout or some aesthetic thing.
I feel this is sonewhat incorrect
You definitely have a deep bond with your training partners, I think it is easy to forget we trust each other with our literal lives.
Your best buddy in combat might not be your best buddy in domestic life but that does not cheapen the brother or sisterhood just acknowledge the bond you share in combat
I wouldnt even talk about it, id just leave. I dont want to be under the power of someone who goes into random PMS mode and starts treating me weird for no discernable reason.
But im also not a goofball treating the mat like a comedy club every day so maybe theres that too lol
Hey chewy could you please make a video on a over under clinch uchi mata ankle pick takedown video thanks for the continued great content oosss
Excellent keep it professional. I need to stop paying extra to help my buddy keep his gym open.
$50 a month is steep because I can roll with friends for $100.
50 month is cheap
My jiujitsu professors are open and friendly and I joke with them but I deeply enjoy presenting my respect to them. I also do it with a slight air of humor as to not seem pretentious but I do enjoy bowing lower, acknowledging that they are always correct, and whatnot.
Some martial arts have stricter rules. Like in ITF taekwondo we were told to say the title of the teacher, which back then was Senior-Master, cause he had an 8th dan. But I kinda feel like that is ridiculous.
Been training couple months at a gym with a psycho sensei, no respect, different techniques everyday, disrespectful training partners .. trained in brasil with the opposite, real respectful Sensei, humble, family vibe, now I changed gyms here in spain, new Sensei, cool vibes, respect, ongoing techniques ... super happy, hope to move on and advance ... don't let anything hold you back ... many black belts out there who dont have a clue how to teach or maintain a gym ... OSS
Your a great Coach.
Communication is key! Talk to him, ask him what he meant and tell him how you feel about it...
If he meant it in a serious way, find a new gym to give your money to... His loss..
I’ve done something similar to your student with a buddy of mine 😂 thankfully he didint beat me up either
0:31 up to "don't talk to me like you know me."
...I don't do martial arts, thinking about starting, but not yet. That said if my coach talks to me like this I'm not coming back.
It's been a year, where's the followup with ole' bob?
I\ve ran into this several times before, Military and my current field. This type of response essentially shows a lack of emotional and intellectual maturity on the "coach's" part, i.e. he basically doesn't know how to handle social interactions very well, especially when there is a hierarchy involved.
If your bjj coach ever snaps at you it's time to find a new place to train, plain and simple
Hey, Chew! My name is Don.
Do you recommend a specific gi for stocky guys? I bought a A5 gi, but I had to cut the pants to make them shorter. However, my gi jacket is long and connot be shortened. So it looks kinda wierd with the jacket halfway to my knees.
I am 5'10 and about 280 - 300 pounds.
Greetings from Norway.
good advice, but I can't stop focusing on the food on your moustache haha
chew, i hope i make it out to your neck of the woods some day. I will definitely stop by and get some rolling in!
Haha, i had a coach that wanted to be called by his first name, but refused to help me in techniques and blew me off, worst part is they promoted him to a black belt after treating multiple students like this. My newer coach gets to know me personally but still has me call him professor and keeps it professional, but actually sits there to help me get my technique right
Everyone has bad days bob I wouldn’t hold it against him, just ask what’s up if he’s human he’ll tell you
I think I used to have a kinda good relationship with my head coach, but then I had some health problems and started to train less and less. Nowadays I am doing only private classes every morning with one of his almost brown belts and whenever I meet my head coach it feels strange. Like we have nothing to talk about, last time when I asked him how was his vacation he only replied "great" and that's it. For introverted person like me it kinda sux, I am not great in small talks especially in keeping them up, so I just shake hands and remain silent. I consider him as a great guy on the mat and outside of it so it bothers me that I feel iced, but well, maybe I just have to reconcile with it.
Wish I could train with you as your school seems like a great place. Mine is not bad, but sometimes I have a feeling that people get a sense of being a part of the team, only if they are good enough in BJJ. Otherwise they get only silly jokes that may cause some people to quit.
My jiu jitsu coach is a cool guy, always jokes about and haves laugh with us. It's one of the reason I joined and enjoyed bjj, warm welcoming friendly attitude. There will be times where words voices will be raised on performance and behaviour but then the next day it's shrugged off and continued. Professional but friendly. Something that "bob" might wanna think about.
People have different tempo. I can understand why the student would be concerned and maybe wonder what is going on or if he offended the coach. You go for jiu jitsu and if you are learning good jiu jitsu then one option is to just be quiet and focus on technique and give it time to see if the coach is still upset or how he reacts. Maybe it will pass or maybe it won't. Meaning...you don't have to ask if he is sending clear hostile signals but won't tell you what the issue is...go quiet and just train and see what happens. I don't like to play games when people are acting like that...I think if the coach has a problem with you then a good coach should always be straight and tell you what it is....but no one is perfect and could be many reasons why he won't or can't say. You could approach and ask the coach and there is nothing wrong with that except that if the guy is telling you not to look at him (very mad dog) then it seems he might be seeking confrontation but isn't very assertive and wants to bait you. So maybe just try training quietly for awhile and avoid it but pay attention to see if his tension lessens or increases. He may be trying to get you to leave his gym. If that's the case then he will up the ante and then you go find another gym and try not to take it personal. Usually where there is smoke there is fire and maybe he burns lots of others with his anger.
I don't imagine a lot of people training at that place...
My Gym has a buddy vibe to it. Everyone is super friendly. Makes for an enjoyable experience for a noob like myself.
It’s a shame I’m just seeing this now. I started BJJ awhile back and had this very question. The coach was incredibly aggressive towards me and always told his students to “beat me up” so I understand “how it feels”. One of his students was also super aggressive with me and I was constantly getting hurt. One day it got to me his students aggression and his aggression and I hate to admit I was trying not to cry so I waved my hand at my coach to get him to stop yelling at me and he stopped the class and brought me up to yell at me in front of everyone for being disrespectful. I love BJJ. I stopped going a few weeks ago. I also need to learn for my job so. The whole situation was incredibly upsetting and I have not really proceeded since.
Find a different place to train. That's not me being snide, that's real advice.
Julie Johansson, did you ever resolve this issue with tour coach or dis you find a new gym?
Find a new sport
That justifies taking legal action for threatening behavior and intimidation.
That’s harassment.
looool he had heart tho. the "thanks for not wooping my ass afterwards" had me dying but yeah for the guy I hope he talks it out or something
im currently having a same issue, im a white belt 3 stripes been training for about 7-8 months now, my gym has about 5 coaches and a head coach and one of them co-teach the beginner class after he gave me the 3rd strip it felt like i'm no longer welcome in the beginner class, usually i joke around during a roll just to ease the tension and get to know people, after i've got the 3rd strip and try to attend his class it feels like he's keeping an eye on me, i can't talk to people and correct some of their mistakes or joke around... he made me feel very uncomfortable in his class.
As a 3 stripe white belt I would just focus on building your skills and keep moving up in classes. The coach probably thinks some white belt is trying to help/or show him how to coach his own class.
Every other class i go too i feel like everyone in class connects with each other a little bit more.
Hes the elliot hulse of bjj
He's definitely like the Elliot Hulse of BJJ. Only smarter and more chill.
There are many things to consider on this situation and to feel threatend isn't one of them.. see it from outside the box. You are the client of that gym and you are also a tax payer. With that in mind you could simply ask him "do you see yourself as a threat to me?" I've made this question too many times to count them and in all of them, the guy noticed I'm not afraid, noticed he is the wrong person in the situation and gave up on that crappy behaviour. So if he answers "no", then, as a client, you demand apologies for that and if you feel like staying, tell him never do that again and stay. But, considering he feels like a threat and also dare to answer "yes". Well.. as a tax payer, you should simply call the police on him and let they do their job... Then you get your money and spend on another gym. Easy. That's not a shame at all to call the police... you pay them to take care of your safety, will you waste your money and do it yourself? better not... Funny guys are easy to make friends, so you won't have trouble with that and also won't have to deal with someone who doesn't know how to deal with his own problem at adult age.
Hope I could help "Bob" to see thing by the easy way
A very good response. If an instructor Is threatening you, you have valid grounds to take legal action against him. He is breaking the law and violating your trust. It’s a serious offense and should never be taken lightly. You have the right to feel safe and protected.
man I wish I could be coached by you chew
another thing is, keep it fun! taking it too seriously doesnt help anything- especially not in beginner classes
That time of month for the coach, haha.
Hope there's an update from "Bob".
I would have to leave, because I don't see how you could trust that person to not hurt you at that point.
I wish I could visit your gym and meet you one day. Greetings from Sweden.
Greetings back at ya!
I checked out a local Muay/Bjj gym and the instructor was super standoffish and seemed to be sizing me up. Im a decent size guy, but super friendly. After going twice I never went back. He is the only guy in my area that trains BJJ, so kinda sux.
Lighten the mood, Bob; give the coach a pie in the face! ;)
My personal opinion is that formal address should be used during class. When asking for specific help etc.
But off hours it's ok to use first names and so on.. If I use formal address it's a clue to my sifu that it's official. If I address by name it's a clue that it's personal..
It seems to work well, but it's up to each instructor... Not sure I would train with someone who needed to be sifu 24x7..