What Gets A Guy Sexually Hooked On You - Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 810

  • @akayrk
    @akayrk 9 ปีที่แล้ว +292

    "i really believe that nothing should be considered embarrassing between two people who love each other." Gold!

  • @dixtx3959
    @dixtx3959 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1996

    Why am i watching this i don't even have a man

    • @thomid7219
      @thomid7219 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      😂😂😂👍

    • @jaunique-2578
      @jaunique-2578 6 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      Me neither but being mentally ready for these phases totally helps!

    • @beetleything1864
      @beetleything1864 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @electricred91
      @electricred91 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Lmfao

    • @Julsies7
      @Julsies7 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      same lmao

  • @zsuzsuspetals
    @zsuzsuspetals 7 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    Matthew's advice is as brilliant as the line, "He's just not that into you." He tells women what they need to hear. Not what we want to hear. I so wish I had his advice when I was single 20 years ago! Life would have been a lot easier. Still love hearing his advice even though I'm happily married. His advice works for us married folk too. Thanks Matthew!

    • @kaiyodei
      @kaiyodei 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      from what I think I learned, if he's not into a woman for wrong reasons, he is bad. like how if I don't want to have sex with a 3 foot tall, non white, 400 pound no-op , no HRT trans man with a mental disablity...oh boy. full of hate!

    • @pinkonyxspa
      @pinkonyxspa 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lol

  • @Moiselle555
    @Moiselle555 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    That's so true what Mathew said ; The only way to spice up the relationship is to talk about each other's fantasies, fetishs, desires, wants and needs. People tend to censor and shut down sexual activities and that's why these relationships backfires and ends up ultimately

  • @chrissif.5741
    @chrissif.5741 8 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    "most people would feel more comfortable doing weird and crazy stuff with someone they barely know than with the person they love", yep that rings true. Thanks for the tips Matthew! I'm going to work on it.

  • @nsomnica
    @nsomnica 9 ปีที่แล้ว +319

    Your eloquence and authenticity are so unique for your age and your advice is just priceless! All the best from Switzerland

    • @samanthataplin2321
      @samanthataplin2321 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Chloé Oberholzer n

    • @cecelialayton5491
      @cecelialayton5491 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      He replied!

    • @phyllispierce6425
      @phyllispierce6425 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Chloé Oberholzer 1

    • @ayydude4221
      @ayydude4221 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Schwizer High-Five! :)

    • @jpg1392
      @jpg1392 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Matthew Hussey You are such a charming fellow, I heard a lot about you, and decided to watch some of your videos the other day. What I like most about your approach not just as a dating coach, but as a person, is your quirky, weird, sense of humor. I was not expecting that🧐😎

  • @mz6367
    @mz6367 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Absolutely brilliant!
    There’s nothing more intimate and beautiful than seeing two people in love trying their best to spice up their sexual life while staying committed to each other ❤

  • @jmcampbell05
    @jmcampbell05 9 ปีที่แล้ว +534

    M-- I'm touched by the degree of your self-examination, analysis in general. You're a philosopher, always seeking to understand what others take for granted. You're true blue.

    • @k.v.6885
      @k.v.6885 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      awwwww that was nice

    • @k.v.6885
      @k.v.6885 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      +Matthew Hussey how can I send you a question I have about my relationship

    • @TheMastersuperblaste
      @TheMastersuperblaste 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +Matthew Hussey You are painfully cute, and refreshingly intelligent. What a great combo. Too bad you're straight. I'm super jealous of whoever your current or future girlfriend is.

    • @lyndamorgan825
      @lyndamorgan825 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You took the words out of my mouth, Jan!

    • @amrutad6185
      @amrutad6185 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Jan Campbell, M.A.

  • @lauralambeth1
    @lauralambeth1 8 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    100% agree. I've been thinking this way for years. So important to be able to communicate. This is why casual sex isn't going to rock like an awesome relationship can. Not all partners can open up but u can train them. :)

  • @GinMatt
    @GinMatt 6 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Never do anything that you don't want or like, within your intimate relationship.

  • @Daria521
    @Daria521 9 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Thank you so much for being here on internet with us. I just finished my 8 year relationship and your videos help me get through it.

  • @MileyLoverIv19
    @MileyLoverIv19 9 ปีที่แล้ว +293

    OMG Matt your timing is creeping the hell out of me, you always know what kind of video to put up it's scary. Thank you so much!

    • @melissaluvsplease1664
      @melissaluvsplease1664 9 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      +Matthew Hussey Your words are dead on right!! The thing that makes me really sad is that these things you speak of are happening all over the world and ALL of the time, so timing is the easy part. ;)
      I know you will understand what I am saying and that I am with you, not against you. Keep on speaking the truth and helping people!!!

    • @sasetsasha8832
      @sasetsasha8832 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You can actually tell him what you are interested in hearing on a video. If many people ask him a question of course he cares to respond. What is cool is that he gives an answer that shows real experience and knowledge that can help.

    • @Suseelkumar5
      @Suseelkumar5 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      привет 😋

  • @andreacontrerashernandez4210
    @andreacontrerashernandez4210 7 ปีที่แล้ว +740

    I wonder what kind of weird stuff Matthew is into. OMG

  • @leonnalove8055
    @leonnalove8055 8 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    This is so smart , honest , real and true. I am a phone sex actress and the majority of the calls I get are men wanting things with their wives- not someone else- that they can't experience with her for fear of rejection or her lack of interest. It is so much easier to explore with a stranger, but being known to that level is a deeper intimacy and is a stunning part of a person to know. Some women would be so angry that their men call for phone sex- if only she knew his fantasies are all about her. It's tricky, though- it's easy to feel inadequate when you aren't giving your SO what they want because you might feel embarrassed or unattractive.
    You are an incredible intuitive and open man, Matt- I really enjoy your videos and you are really illuminating people and making the world a little better by helping people love more. xx

    • @letissue461
      @letissue461 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      Leonna Love how did u get into that gig? does it pay well?

    • @tazeenkhan710
      @tazeenkhan710 8 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      only perverts would call for phone sex or go for prostitutes after marriage

    • @LostxInxPandora
      @LostxInxPandora 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      So you help men cheat on their wives... lol

    • @theresag1969
      @theresag1969 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tazeenkhan710
      ...and your man will go elsewhere with that thinking. He certainly wouldn't let you know.

    • @theresag1969
      @theresag1969 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      What sort of things are men interested in over the phone? Btw, many women don't get the extent fantasy plays in the lives of men. But I do.

  • @mariaoropeza
    @mariaoropeza 9 ปีที่แล้ว +313

    I`M A COMPLETE MATTHEW HUSSEY JUNKIE...

  • @MeditatewithAbhi
    @MeditatewithAbhi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Bringing conscious communication and confronting the issues with the open dialing is the best way.. Love it

  • @ScottishLeo
    @ScottishLeo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Great advice Matt! 8yrs married & we're still learning more about the other. Early on i learned speaking aloud is difficult for him so i wrote that very question (whatre u wanting?) & passed it to him w/shy smile & gave him time alone to reply. That way i can process reply without him watching for reaction & it worked like a charm! We have a lot of fun 😁

  • @anewloveofficial9137
    @anewloveofficial9137 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    If you love your partner, you should be open to him about anything because being in a relationship is a partnership, so communication is a must in all aspects especially when it comes to your physical needs.

  • @melissainfj6573
    @melissainfj6573 7 ปีที่แล้ว +419

    Oh jeez... Being too embarrassed to tell my partner what I like in bed has ALWAYS been a huge problem for me. Every time I tell a guy my fetish, it scares him away, or makes him lose interest in me sexually. Like everything is fine as long as I keep my mouth shut about it. But the minute I start feeling comfortable enough to tell him about it... Boom, he gradually starts backing away from me. Makes me feel like I just can't be honest with a guy. Or I can't ever let him really know me. Or maybe he just misunderstands me?
    Like you said in your video, I don't mind blurting it out right here among strangers, lol. Because I don't know anybody here, and telling strangers won't ruin my relationship.
    So here goes...
    I basically have a "rough sex" fetish. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about "50 Shades Of Grey" rough. I DON'T like being beaten, or degraded, or belittled, or humiliated. I don't like whips or clamps, or being tied down or anything. I don't even like being called bad names!
    I just enjoy stuff like a bit of rough wrestling (and the guy winning) and maybe holding my wrists, maybe a gentle hair pull, or a gentle slap on the cheek... Kind of a rough rhythm while "going at it".... Even a hand over the mouth if I get too loud, or a kinky roleplay, like "predator and victim", etc., etc. To me, its just fun, frisky, INTENSE exciting, lol.
    And naturally, I would never want to do that with a stranger. I would only do that with someone I love and trust.
    WHY do I like that?? Oh I dunno. When I really think about it, I suppose it developed because I was always very shy growing up, especially with guys and I was raised by a tough, bad-ass Green Beret soldier who taught me "boys should chase girls, not the other way around-- and girls should keep their standards sky-high".
    It wasn't really acceptable in my home for me to be dizzy over a boy-- I was supposed to be ABOVE that. Better than that. I was expected to let the BOY come to ME.
    Dad also taught me to shoot, hunt, butcher my kill, survive in the wilderness, set traps, etc., lol. So I was often a bit of a Tom-boy, I was usually tougher than other girls/women. It always took a very different type of guy to make me feel "girly and feminine".
    Sometimes I felt like I was tougher than most boys (oh yeah, that really had them lining up to date me... pfft!). While that made me feel independent, it also made me feel... Not so feminine.
    But truth be told, I LOVE anything that makes me feel girly and feminine!
    I guess my fetish probably developed from my extreme shyness with guys, combined with my preference for the GUY to make the major moves, etc. (because that's what I grew up idealizing).
    I'm also extremely turned on by the difference between a man's strength and a woman's. Again, feeling that the guy is stronger makes me feel feminine and very girly, womanly, etc. I love that feeling!
    So I love it when a man proves how much stronger he is than me, lol. For example, if I play arm wrestle with a guy, and he beats me like it was soooo easy... Omg... HOT! lol.
    Yeah, I hate it when he lets me win, because I feel so butch, I mean jeez...
    Or if there is something really heavy I can't lift, or a jar I can't open, or something too high for me to reach, but he does it like its a piece of cake... Yeah, I find that hot as hell.
    Well... I'm the same way in bed. When he wrestles kinda rough with me, tosses me on the bed, etc., and I feel how much stronger he is than me-- its exciting for me. I guess it kind of erases the "Tom-boy" picture I have of myself and puts me in touch with my "inner primitive female". I feel like he is strong, so he's my man, my strength, my rock... And since we're technically just playing around and he loves me, would never harm me-- I feel safe with him. Very close to him. And DEFINITELY desired! I mean, he wouldn't be so animal-like with me, if he wasn't attracted and turned on, right? lol.
    But I never could explain all that to a guy in a way that he really understood. Both husbands totally backed off when I tried to explain it... Maybe it freaked them out? Scared them? I don't know if I just explain it wrong, or what. But they always back off when I try to tell them this. So I always felt like they never really knew me, or understood me...
    I dunno, maybe they misunderstand me and they think I'm some kind of supporter of sexual assault, lmao. Which is completely retarded! Quite frankly, I think rapists should be castrated or killed, or at least get the maximum penalty EVERY time. I mean jeez guys, give me a break, I'm not talking about hurting random strangers, or brutalizing innocent people. I'm talking about 2 people who trust, love and consent to each each other, playing around with some kink in bed. What the hell is so terrible about that?
    No offense to guys, but... Some guys can be so dumb, lol.

    • @MimiMhair
      @MimiMhair 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      MelissaINFJ dominatrix somewhat

    • @modrdomm4678
      @modrdomm4678 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Mimi M yes, role play...

    • @ingrid44556
      @ingrid44556 7 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      MelissaINFJ I totally understand you

    • @laraking804
      @laraking804 6 ปีที่แล้ว +207

      MelissaINFJ your fantasy is so tame girl! You've been dating pussies 😬🤣 Keep looking. It's not you hon it's them...

    • @bddybdz
      @bddybdz 6 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      MelissaINFJ completely get it!

  • @NancyMcCurry
    @NancyMcCurry 8 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    You're so right. After a 25+ year marriage I can state this honestly, the wide sexual repertoire that started so well in the beginning of the relationship slowly contracted because I never wanted to tell him that if he'd just move his thumb right here (or whatever tiny shift we needed to make) that would have helped me so much and it would have helped him too. After so long of doing it "that way" I was afraid to hurt him and say, "Nope, not really, actually". I know he only ever wanted to make me happy in bed but it's that fear of hurting the guy's feelings in the moment I couldn't stand. Next time, I'll say, "You know what, that works great but I saw this today and, wow. " I'll be open and transparent and brave next time. It's really the most loving thing we can do.

    • @sandythomas7440
      @sandythomas7440 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You sound like me lol

    • @jillhall123
      @jillhall123 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And the reverse is true for him. He's thinking "She thinks I'm totally satisfied with what she does or doesn't do in bed, and I'd hate to scare her or hurt her feelings by telling her that I've been bored with just average (or whatever) for 10 years." Time to mix it up woman lol

  • @jennyl3080
    @jennyl3080 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    You are very intelligent, Matthew! Thanks for questioning things, for lifting important subjects and teaching us what you know. It makes me think outside the box and reflect in a way that's not only beneficial for me, but also is much less destructive than before.

  • @laurenpeters8042
    @laurenpeters8042 8 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    This is stupidly relatable, you're a genius...

  • @margarettehrani5
    @margarettehrani5 9 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    this is something very important that a couple should know thank you.

  • @nicolegregory4429
    @nicolegregory4429 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    What an amazing message. Just got a text message last night from a man who has been pursuing me for the past 5 weeks; but... via random text. Very bold last night about what he hoped for when we do get together. Then, just thought... for kicks and giggles... let's see what/where/how he's out in the world of social media and life ...for the heck of it. He's very non-existent since 2014, but his wife is all over it. Sort of disappointing but a real eye-opener. Life. It's always interesting. It knows how to throw a curveball. ~N

  • @sonamarora2976
    @sonamarora2976 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    what a great point! if you're not helping them change now, you're doing a bigger damage to their ego in the long term

  • @catepriscilladee1519
    @catepriscilladee1519 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you so much for this video! It's exactly what happened to my bf and me. We've been together for almost four years now with a break over the last five months. I've been so insecure about expressing my wants and desires to him before. But now that we're back together (also thanks to your advices ;) ) I'm super comfortable with voicing what turns me on that in the beginning he was positively surprised about how "bold" and "exciting" this new interaction was that he's now nuts about it :D

  • @redfoxes5153
    @redfoxes5153 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The reason is simple - if you start doing something new, you get accused of cheating, "oh, where did you learn that?" so then you don't even try. Btw, i'm speaking from experience.

  • @valerieprice7135
    @valerieprice7135 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I could never have a relationship with this gentlemen. Because he is so analytical. . But yiu know what? I love this guy. He has a great way of putting things.

  • @ps6586
    @ps6586 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Matthew, you need to make a book on how to be witty, because I've listened to all your videos and it's all about being witty. Sometimes it's difficult for me to come up of something witty. We need the formula to help form the witty statement we want.

  • @laepitt821
    @laepitt821 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    No guy in my life right now. Just watching because I like his voice and that beard is looking great on him 😏🌺

  • @niluferdarais2062
    @niluferdarais2062 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Matthew is simply brilliant. The insights that he brings out.

  • @yasmeinabdulla2631
    @yasmeinabdulla2631 9 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    what if after you ask him and he answers really honestly and youre like crap im not into that. how do you reject it without bruising his ego

    • @wisdom4144
      @wisdom4144 9 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I was about to ask that as well

    • @esile567
      @esile567 9 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      +BeautyByYaz BeautyByYaz Asking about what his secret fantasies are, doesnt mean you said you want to try them with him. Its just taking it to the stage of getting to know him even better, right?

    • @MikeyArtz
      @MikeyArtz 9 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Try b4 u spek

    • @RedArrow2007
      @RedArrow2007 9 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      +BeautyByYaz BeautyByYaz Be honest with him and move on to something else that the both of you are into...:)

    • @angelaonthego
      @angelaonthego 9 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Don't reject it. Ask more questions. Even if I'm not into it, I find out more about it. If I really care about someone, I'm endless fascinated about what makes them tick. I'm also pretty curious about what people find sexy about something. If he asks you if that turns you on, you can just say, "It's not something I'm feeling SUPER drawn towards in this moment..."

  • @trs8696
    @trs8696 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    im a guy watching this and its very true. it does get harder, not easier, to bring up sex ideas the longer youve been with someone. the tip about saying "i want to do this with YOU" is a good one.

  • @lucywhitaker407
    @lucywhitaker407 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Yes I completely agree with you Matthew. Communication is key and trying things out. Xxxx

  • @angieridpath4667
    @angieridpath4667 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Is it crazy that I’m satisfied just to listen to this Mathew guy talk about this..

  • @katperdiz
    @katperdiz 8 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    i love how you discuss this matter... very diplomatic

  • @victoriajang
    @victoriajang 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Finding Matthew in 2016 lol obviously I'm late the party. At first I was like what does this young man who's barely out of his 20s know about relationships? After listening to him on YT then buying his audio book which I listened to all in a day, I absolutely respect his work. He's like an old soul, obviously wise beyond his age. Having been single for over five years out of choice, his advice has been handy from the point I decided to actually 'get the guy' I'm working on it. Matthew has certainly made my transition a lot easier than I expected:)

  • @electrocute1263
    @electrocute1263 9 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I love how you explored this topic. Great advice. Now undoubtedly, we will open this door and reveal each others fantasies, and a hideous buzzard of an idea will want to come out to and play. Something you would never do! Please do another video explaining what to say when your partner's sexual fantasy crosses your boundary. Once you know your man wants something you find offensive, you will forever wonder if he is willing to cheat on you to get that sexual need met. Thank you for all that you do.

  • @user-my2eo9lo1y
    @user-my2eo9lo1y 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Communication is the big key when trying to try new things in the bedroom. Talk about what you want to try and remember to have a code word when feeling uncomfortable and or when boundaries are getting pushed to feeling uncomfortable and or when the new thing is beyond pleasure. Saying no! In a stern way can bring the partner down, feel bad, and or make the partner feel more insecure about themselves.

    • @KayNovember26
      @KayNovember26 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      The problem is when your partner is a real shy guy and introverted. My ex husband could never tell me what he wanted (or just communicate in general). I also had a much higher sex drive... I tried introducing toys. I tried introducing different positions. I tried the sexy pillow talk. And got accused of CHEATING on him! Things just went downhill for us. My current partner is older, more experienced and very open minded. Best sex ever! You are never "too old" to have some fun.

  • @12lesflo
    @12lesflo 8 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    So glad you touched on this because some times men look at you like who has she been with. When a woman can be as creative as a guy. We observe and say it would be cool if we tried to do this cause you know their flexability. But no instead they think the wrong way and loose out on a beautiful moment and kill their partners creativity and go back to their old boring ways

    • @CellGames2006
      @CellGames2006 8 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      So sad they miss out on an experience just because a girl has learned it from another guy...

    • @iUnderstand
      @iUnderstand 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@CellGames2006Yes... so heartwrenching that some people have to be emotionally connected to what they're doing with their partner in order to be able to enjoy it.... Such a travesty.

  • @elizabethnepia8878
    @elizabethnepia8878 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    For me, good sex is when creative energy is combined with true intimacy. It's all about exploring and creating a safe, creative, and open environment.
    I really do value my ability to use creative energy to fully vibe and connect with the other person.

  • @isabellatheseeker
    @isabellatheseeker 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You're so cool dude. I just feel like you were so predestined to do all this stuff. Like, I'm sure you've been through a whole lot of life so that you could learn from all those experiences that brought you to this place you're at now. It's cool. Good for you man seriously thank you so much for spreading your message and helping a lot of people find their way in love.

  • @thandinkosi9299
    @thandinkosi9299 7 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Coach African man last time I try to teach my partner how to please me,he ask me where did I learn it ,so it kills my mood,

    • @fatimemehdiyeva2439
      @fatimemehdiyeva2439 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lool i can imagine the situation )

    • @adi9296
      @adi9296 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Worst question to ask in that situation! Ugh, I can understand

  • @drairlandadiazpino2791
    @drairlandadiazpino2791 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    This here man, is my biggest crush, ever!

  • @t_grumpynoodle
    @t_grumpynoodle 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I am falling for your thoughtfulness and observant nature. Good luck!

  • @emilyk7410
    @emilyk7410 8 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    This beard is the look!

  • @ciuolavera7827
    @ciuolavera7827 8 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Or suprise him that you can be Angelina Jolie in the movie Original Sin or you can be weird as Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad... Show your partner that you can be his everything!

  • @TheFabulous1985
    @TheFabulous1985 9 ปีที่แล้ว +93

    Matthew you and this beard!! Yessss Boo Yesss!

    • @carlypengrin2692
      @carlypengrin2692 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      +Matthew Hussey I am a fan of the beard to be honest haha

    • @TheFabulous1985
      @TheFabulous1985 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      +carly pengrin #teambeard 👏🏾👏🏾

    • @Eclectic31
      @Eclectic31 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Monique Henry girl you read my mind! he needs to keep this look 24/7!

    • @TheFabulous1985
      @TheFabulous1985 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Sandra Pool Amen to that!! 👏🏾

    • @peacenloveforall6
      @peacenloveforall6 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      +Monique Henry No kidding!

  • @sunshinexoxo4984
    @sunshinexoxo4984 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    YES Matthew!! Can you coach me and my ex husband. This is everything that is wrong with our relationship.

  • @TrinhThanhVan
    @TrinhThanhVan 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    It is sad because my boyfriend is satisfied and he really insists on having 'normal' sex and there is nothing else he would want to try. While I want many many different things when he does not want. He said there is no reason to try coz we already have 'great normal sex'. I tried many ways to talk with him, communicate, whatever I can, however I can.
    But now I just don't know what to do as with time I am getting ..bored of the usual sex because everything falls into the same routine, every,single,time. And he does not want to try and he is happy with himself already. I need help.

    • @TrinhThanhVan
      @TrinhThanhVan 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Thanh Vân Trịnh I didnt even ask him to just do what I want, but most of the time, I ask him what he likes most, or what he would like to try but embarrased, well he simply said 'nothing. Im happy with our sex'. It is like dead end for me honestly.

    • @tanvijain1575
      @tanvijain1575 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      My suggestion would be to date someone you have sexual AND romantic compatibility with. One kind of compatibility isn't enough. You need both to have a satisfying relationship.

    • @CellGames2006
      @CellGames2006 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You need to ask him. If you don't tell him that's what you want, how could he even know you have a problem?? Sometimes the way girls communicate doesn't hit in our radar. You need to make him clear you want change. It's not enough that only he is "happy with himself". You're not his sex slave. A relationship has two parties. My god, a million guys would change places with him...

  • @MsHannah2036
    @MsHannah2036 9 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Oh my , this is awesome! I'm going to start this with my new boyfriend - once I get one :)

  • @tg6954
    @tg6954 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    One of the best advice which I discovered through your videos, Mathew! Thanks for guiding us with these valuable nuggets. You are the best!!

  • @maggyxchuu
    @maggyxchuu 9 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    It sucks when your boyfriend of two years doesn't care about sex as much as he used to.. I constantly bring it up to him in a very nice way, and he just brushes it off or doesn't seem to care. I would never cheat, but it's definitely pulling me away I just feel so not wanted anymore ):
    It's even more uncomfortable that I want more sex than he does.
    But anyways I love your videos Matthew ! They always seem to lift me up.

    • @hersurrender
      @hersurrender 8 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I feel you soo so much, dear! this happened to me with my ex boyfriend and I kept trying and searching for my own mistakes and was getting so so frustrated. I know I was feeling so embarrassed wanting to have sex more often than he did, but now I know that this is nothing to be embarrassed of. you are not weird nor too sexual or whatever you think is wrong with you.
      I hope you two can work it out :) I just wanted to give you a little comfort as I have been there as well.

    • @maggyxchuu
      @maggyxchuu 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Sabrina G. Right right, it's more just about not feeling as wanted & then I start to resent and such ugh. But anyways haha, thanks for the support my goodness I hope so too

    • @annalovesyouoxox
      @annalovesyouoxox 8 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      +Sugar Chuu he's cheating

    • @maggyxchuu
      @maggyxchuu 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      +annalovesyouoxox well at least he's getting some ha

    • @beyourbest27
      @beyourbest27 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      girl do you have instagram and want to help me out with something

  • @j.f.4926
    @j.f.4926 7 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    What if he wants something you don't want to do? What do you say?

    • @analetta2638
      @analetta2638 6 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      you say no

    • @jessicahay5771
      @jessicahay5771 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Been there, unless you're horribly opposed at least give it a try. If you don't want to try it again then don't. I've been here and I was weird about it and my man told me that I made him feel like a pervert, a freak. He had tears in his eyes. I really hurt him. I didn't mean to and I wasn't ugly about it but he was excited to try the whole salad tossing thing and I decided I didn't want to have sex at all (I ALWAYS want to have sex, ALWAYS) because of it and I felt so bad that I made him feel bad about himself. It crippled us in a way because he's never shared any other fantasy or tried anything new since then.

  • @shellducker7078
    @shellducker7078 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Just be yourself, self love, speak freely, respect your n his boundaries. Accept eachother as individuals. Love.

  • @LynJegher
    @LynJegher 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Open dialogue in a couple is the Best!

  • @maiseelauj
    @maiseelauj 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Having the sex conversation is the most important part of any relationship. I completely agree.

  • @Corysfortunes
    @Corysfortunes 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    its really simple, you talk it over with your partner, if you cant talk about it in detail then you are not ready or fit for the sexual part of relationship, you have to get over that fear or sink the relationship. the reason you have to talk it over is that if one person isnt getting something out of that part of the relationship they may go else where and thats why all the fetishes and secrets must be straight forward, society is responsible for making us feel weird or bad for mentioning how we like that part of the relationship, we must know the turn ons of our partner and we need to tell them ours

  • @karladoane7323
    @karladoane7323 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Right on and I'm 70. I just try to tell them ahead of time I'm a chameleon and I'm an Aquarian so I like change I like progression I like communication in all of its facets.

  • @marizamentzou3293
    @marizamentzou3293 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love the explanation of feedback with the ego and how we should prioritize long term Vs short term. Great content

  • @barbarawilson3153
    @barbarawilson3153 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I think nothing is off the table as long as two people agree to it

  • @barbarawilson3153
    @barbarawilson3153 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I tried it all with my man and I'm glad I did because I enjoyed a lot of it myself

  • @cathybaldry7822
    @cathybaldry7822 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you. This gave me insight into what went wrong in a past relationship. My ex felt very intimidated and threatened by it.

  • @youtubinxx
    @youtubinxx 8 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    i really like the advice he gives. I would assume with this amount of work being done and the investment of trying to please someone sexually... would be ideally for people in committed relationships. My opinion.

  • @Lionofthelovinggod1
    @Lionofthelovinggod1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    We have lost the art of asking for what we want - if indeed we ever knew how to ask in the first place.

    • @Dontincludeme
      @Dontincludeme 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Amanda Brisbane there's this great Madonna quote: "A lot of people are afraid to say what they want, that's why they don't get what they want"

  • @MereMarc
    @MereMarc 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Just watched and heard this! 4 years later!!! THANK YOU💖💖💖

  • @angelaonthego
    @angelaonthego 9 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I really feel for the ladies on here who are in established relationships trying to start that conversation for the first time. I will share one of the things I do that has worked really well. works best if he first time you do it one of you is out of town.
    I find a piece of erotic writing or a blog post that highlights whatever I want that turns me on. I also find some classy but naughty pics from tumblr. I tell him I miss him, and then kind of shyly admit that I've been super "h" and can't wait for him to get back. Ok now you've got him primed. All of his attention is now focused towards you, and you'll feel it. Then say hey--there's something I feel kind of embarrassed about....

    • @angelaonthego
      @angelaonthego 9 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Now you've REALLY got his attention. Hopefully he will encourage you to tell him. Continue on. Say " I came across this thing on the Internet, and just felt REALLY turned on. Like--so much." (I mean, use your own words). He'll ask you what it is. Give him an idea, but be vague. Say you feel embarrassed saying more, and instead ask him if he wants you to just send him what you read/saw?
      Here's what you need to know: every single male past puberty has has multiple experiences of seeing something and being turned on by it, and then feeling completely embarrassed/scared/confused (sometimes disgusted) about being turned on by that thing.

    • @angelaonthego
      @angelaonthego 9 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It's a great way to gauge his reaction--my experience is that most men are amazingly, um, pliable sexually. You just have to take your time and have fun with it. Get in his brain, and rewire it a little bit by pulling the right levers at the right times. Wink:::wink :-)
      If you bring it up in this way, even if it's something he finds like, completely weird and not sexy---you've framed it in a way that he is TOTALLY going to relate to. And on a subconscious level, a small part of him will relax with you just a LITTLE bit more, because he won't be clamping down so tight on the part of himself that gets turned on by weird stuff. Men feel they have to hide this from us. (And in some ways, they kind of do, cuz if we knew 100% of what goes on in there it would legitimately freak us out. It even freaks him out).
      (pro tip: if you come at it with the right attitude (spirit of play/adventure/ no pressure) when it comes to sex, most guys are willing to try alllllmost anything at leastonce).

    • @lj8816
      @lj8816 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Elle L
      👀

    • @gooddogreallygooddog6157
      @gooddogreallygooddog6157 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lmaoo

  • @sarahsmith1418
    @sarahsmith1418 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love the short-term vs. long-term point. Great advice as always!

  • @proyc95
    @proyc95 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Holy crap. thats som sexy, turning on dialogue from Matt. Yes, he's right, we should keep exploring because we are always changing and developing throughout our lives.

  • @user-xy4ff5yp7b
    @user-xy4ff5yp7b 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is actually a really sweet idea. I like it

  • @もふもふ-h7s
    @もふもふ-h7s 9 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Sex is a team work. I can't agree with you more! Thank you for the video, Matthew. Lots of love from Tokyo💗

  • @lydiahandzova
    @lydiahandzova 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi Matthew I am following your videos only few months and I really appreciate that you bit into "difficult" topics !

  • @libra7624
    @libra7624 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    when it comes to turn ons this is a important topic a couple must talk about, calling a radio station is fine but you still have to speak directly to your partner, some people rely so much on radio questions and answers they may start calling to ask what sandwich to make for their partner LOL, mathew will try his best but he may say turkey and swiss when your partner really wants peanut butter and jelly, the point is ask your partner directly to get an accurate answer and not some radio station guess work

  • @laurajohnston9431
    @laurajohnston9431 9 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    you are such a breath of fresh air! Thank you!

  • @sandyyetman1156
    @sandyyetman1156 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Matthew... I am a person who has physical barriers and sex is difficult for me. I cannot achieve most positions because of pain and lack of range of motion. I have no choice to communicate with my partner.... and a sense of humour helps tremendously!

  • @Femmefatale1990
    @Femmefatale1990 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    my bf has some fetishes he only enjoys seeing strangers do. He's actually told me that it's not hot when I do it and in the 2+ years we've been together he's never been able to fulfill my fantasies. I'm 26 and lost my virginity late in life (and regret it) and I've had to beg him so much that, at this point, I don't even look forward to fulfilling them with him. This definitely made me realize that I've been settling 😔

  • @nessieliz6776
    @nessieliz6776 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    I wonder how many people would be following Matt and take his advice if he weren't so handsome. 🤔🤗

  • @firefly6204
    @firefly6204 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I've been looking for something like else almost my entire life this was so helpful

  • @rachelgitonga4504
    @rachelgitonga4504 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    This conversation took place in a local radio station & one guy said that when you go do different things your partner becomes suspicious asks where you got those explicit skills from they were saying that it leads them to cheat most women don't know it to their advantage

  • @lametriavirgo2845
    @lametriavirgo2845 9 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I literally have just gone through this with my boyfriend. Huge disclosure was he has always wanted to do it too! And, I wouldn't do it with anyone else! I gave him more trust. It turned him on to a next level! Circumstances beyond our control have sensed happened but God makes no mistakes. Peace*LOVE*blessings

  • @leesimone2
    @leesimone2 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Love it!
    I know I could get picked on for commenting, but I don't care. 😄
    My ex-husband and I broke up for many reasons and one of them was over sex. The longer I am a relationship is more important will bring out my PLAYFUL SEXUAL SIDE. However, that didn't go over well with and he tried very hard to shame and ridicule me. In return after my hurt and shock, I with threw from him and created my fantasy world. Cheating on him was not an option, it is just no my style. Truthfully, psychically cheating on him was not my style. He started to feel my resentment and out disappointment. Because to me my husband should the one person I fully enjoy, come on he should be my best friend and lover all in one.
    In the end it never got fixed, the more I pulled away the more he insulted me. I still love the notion that out there would a man that would not thus to their wives. Thank you for this post, how awesome.

  • @yakimawhite5299
    @yakimawhite5299 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’m in my 2nd long term relationship this one 9 years and he and I love getting ideas from experts it keep our relationship exciting

  • @msb1902
    @msb1902 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Very accurate and eye opening. The thinking you know your lover and being shocked when they come with something new. To me it comes down to ACTIVELY listen to your partner/lover. So many just wait till they can talk again. Communication is key in a satisfying sexual relationship. "trying this with you...." Kudos, Sir. Good video per usual. :)

  • @paginatedquill
    @paginatedquill 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    am interested in any videos regarding the straying outside the concept of monogamy whilst maintaining a serious relationship; ive actually been searching your channel for this subject matter and found nothing so far, therefore have been listening to any that i have not yet played...ran into this one - glad to hear you mention this.

  • @mistystroh1496
    @mistystroh1496 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Matthew, you are such a breath of fresh air because you are sweet & wise! Do you ever have seminars in the United States?

  • @DeborahWalkerXOXO
    @DeborahWalkerXOXO 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is soo true! I'm not unhappy with my guy but I wanted to try dressing up and I chickened out totally. The most I do is high heels in situ. Thanks Matthew, this is a great video as it not only gives me a way to express what I want but also highlights the importance of allowing him space to do the same. I really didn't think he is backward in coming forward but maybe I was making n assumption. He might be a furry for all I know...

  • @KathyKlotzGuest
    @KathyKlotzGuest 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am happily married (a long time), and I find your vids really fun, smart, and interesting. My husband agrees with most of what you say;-) Anyway, I enjoy watching/listening.

  • @lula2880
    @lula2880 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Doing it with a stranger- gives no ammunition to a lover because relationships dont always last...

  • @HeidiParkes
    @HeidiParkes 8 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Matthew, can you please do a video that specifically addresses erectile disfunction? It's so difficult to discuss, especially when anxiety induced in a man. I've tried discussing it with partners, and it's made the situation worse with them rather than better. The man needs to see a dr or therapist, but what if they're too afraid or lazy to look into improving the situation? How can I get some skills with this re-occring issue with a few different past partners?

    • @1fdarlentwo
      @1fdarlentwo 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      If your partner is unwilling to see a professional about the issue research some natural treatments ( foods/ supplements) to increase vascular health and blood flow. You'd be amazed at what simple things like tomatoes, watermelon etc. can do to help. This you can do ( if you need to), without ongoing discussion, prepare meals with the items in them.

    • @garbonratslayer1387
      @garbonratslayer1387 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Too many men these days are porn addicts. I'd be willing to bet that's what the problem is. They watch so much porn and they're croniclly masturbating they can't get it up with a real girl.

    • @bethnadeau6183
      @bethnadeau6183 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@garbonratslayer1387 You might want to do some research into ED and it's various causes...good Lord...

  • @atkardam
    @atkardam 9 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    How true!! Another to the point video..thank you!

  • @falckm8753
    @falckm8753 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    Good advice. I've been married almost 20 yrs to my best friend. He is very flirtatious and always hitting on me. We have two almost grown children so I find it funny how he seems to be going backwards in age a little. People who know us think it's sweet that he makes me blush all the time. I will say though about communication. I worry that what I fantasize about may shock him and I know he would do it but what if at some point I've decided I don't like it and then he is into it and wants to do it more? Then I would feel like I've disappointed him. It is terrifying. I agree though on what you said about that comfort being misleading.

  • @sophiejensen3484
    @sophiejensen3484 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    So... I went out with my ex out one night and after a few drinks, I announced I had no undies on and wanted to park somewhere and..
    we had a wonderful sex life.. but he didn’t really seem that into it. Which made it awkward.

  • @chocolatemilkcharly
    @chocolatemilkcharly 9 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Hearing Matthew Hussey say 'me just trying to pleasure you more' its the middle of winter in Edinburgh, but is it getting hot in here?!

  • @aymeejeanette
    @aymeejeanette 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    WoW you are very wise Sir! Keep these coming please!

  • @chorizo2115
    @chorizo2115 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for braving this subject!

  • @cynthiafamilia6926
    @cynthiafamilia6926 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Your great!! Very educating información.

  • @shosha1771
    @shosha1771 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    So I've known a guy for three years now, we were friends for two years but the third year he started flirting and telling me to spend more time with him. Tbh I liked him way before so I couldn't resist. We've been like that for six months, but he doesn't makes me feel special nor appreciated. He talk about other girls and how hot they are which really makes feel rejected and he sometimes compare me to them. So he knows I'm a virgin and lately he said I don't do the virgin things because it scares me. I felt really bad for hearing that I didn't know what to say i just took off and didn't speak a word and now he acts like nothing happened 😭

    • @moviedaisy
      @moviedaisy 8 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Drop him. You deserve a wonderful person in your life.

    • @TrinhThanhVan
      @TrinhThanhVan 8 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      +shaden hani : I totally understand how you feel. I am not judging you at all. Though I am judging him through what you shared. He really does not seem to be a nice guy at all. You should feel always appreciated and worthy in relationships, no matter if it is a friendship or in love. If he even dares compare you to the others, you made a good call on just get the f out of there. Spend your precious time on someone who actually deserve it.

    • @shosha1771
      @shosha1771 8 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Thanh Vân Trịnh well I did exactly like you said, I broke it with him because he never act committed and he's such a player. I feel good about myself now

  • @lilibethnieto55
    @lilibethnieto55 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very helpful and informative!
    Thank you 🙏.

  • @gsgarciag
    @gsgarciag 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Awesome advice, Matt. I was just talking to a new guy about this (coincidentally, prior to watching your video), and he said he liked talking to me about this, and felt able to be really open about things with me :) Yay!

  • @OldPanterka8
    @OldPanterka8 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    the best video of yours. i like to come back here.