I love that we’re getting to a place where we can comfortably sit in a space of femininity as non binary beings. It’s an energy, a presence, not a presentation. OMG the dissonance 🤦🏽♀️ I wholly innerstrand your inner conflict bc I have experienced to a lot of what you said. Yay growth!! Yay self acceptance!!
Love all of your videos, you are such a kind and gentle person. Hearing you talk about the way you viewed your body as you were growing up resonates with me so much. I wish I could be as kind as you though, you are so kind to your past and current self and you're helping me on the journey of loving my body as it is. I've just started on this journey now and I'm in my 30s! It's hard to put into words how you can help other people like me just by sharing your story and your thoughts but you do. :)
Baby girl, I just want to scoop you up in the biggest hug! I am so proud of you, and so happy for you. You seem so much stronger, and more confident than in your earlier videos, but still as sweet and golden hearted as ever. You know who you are, and I think you’ve probably always known, it’s just taken a little time to get to a place where you felt able to acknowledge it. I love the kindness and affection that you show toward younger Frani. We should all do that for ourselves. Sending you so much love. xxx
I'm so proud of you, too! I'm so grateful you shared this with us. The difference in how you carry yourself and talk about things is so apparent. I love watching you grow and learning from you. I wish you a lifetime of continually stepping into your true self more and more, and the freedom to share it with whomever you want to (or don't) whenever it feels right. I also love how excited you get when something you said in the past resonates. Don't you love that feeling when you realize you're smart and insightful and wiser than you realized? Go Frani!
This video is taking me back to being 10 years old and gaining weight and beginning to hate myself. I literally just sat here for a couple minutes talking to myself about all of it. I still haven't reached that point of self love yet. Just a lot of negative thoughts creep up in my head particularly when I'm around others as I have a tendency to compare myself. It is difficult for me to dress without thinking about others instead of how I feel. I really appreciate this video and you being so brave to just speak your mind. I really hope to be like you someday.
Frani! This is so awesome. I’m really happy for you! As a queer black woman who also grew up with these strict Christian views of gender, sexuality and femininity it’s so great to see you getting to break away from that and come into your own. It took me moving to the other side of the planet for me to see myself and I’m sooo happy that you’re able to do all of that too. Much love for you ❤️
Okay Frani, wow I am so happy I e-met you and so proud of you ❤️ really, my queerdar senses were tingling and I know what it feels like to honour your truth. As a bi woman who recently came out as well, I am just snapping my fingers and want to give you the biggest hug ever ✨ yes girl, yesss!!
Hi Fran! I have recently come out as a lesbian as well. And yeah I can relate to you so much AGAIN. It is hard to be yourself growing up as a Christian I totally understand this, but it's good we're getting to know ourselves and we are heading in the right direction eventually. Good luck on your path!
So I’m a queer non-binary person that enjoys incorporating Kibbe concepts in my personal style. I think this the video is interesting in that it opens up this larger conversation of what does it mean for someone like me-a queer trans POC-to participate in a system that is inherently based on cishetero Eurocentric ideals of beauty? It sounds conflicting but at the same time, I’ve been able to use Kibbe to actually honor my own queerness and gender-nonconformity, which has been a special journey.
I'm so glad you found a way to apply that system to your own needs. I'm intrigued about how you've done that and wish you could make a whole video about it like Fran did! I can see how the whole idea of honoring who you really are and not trying to hide or compensate for anything to conform to some idealized societal expectation can be applied to so many things, including all aspects of our identity. I would love to hear more if you're comfortable sharing, but no pressure.
This resonates 100%! I didn't realize we had so much in common when I started following you months ago, but maybe I could sense it somehow. In all seriousness, I am so grateful you shared your story, even though you owe no one any details about your personal life. Having watched this video, I feel hopeful even though I am not as far along as you are with respect to my family and friends. Still "speaking in code," but I want you to know how reassuring it is to see someone on the path ahead of you, with the same intersectional identities, and see they are doing alright. Please continue on your journey of wellness and self-love--the effects of your loving yourself positively radiate to others. God bless💜
You thrive from within a space of abundance, peace and love. And i can see the bravery it took to get here. You are truely your own unique and beautiful essence. And without it being a goal in life, you are a gift for all of us around you. Thank you 🙏
I haven’t seen your femininity video for a long time, and I feel like I’m reacting to it with you. I relate to this entire video so well. Not only where you’ve come from, but also where you are now. I’m so proud of you for embracing yourself fully, and I can’t wait to see the rest of your journey.
I love watching all of your videos so much right now. Your insides are really showing through more in every way. You sound stronger, look stronger and just have the feel of someone who's more at home with themselves. I love watching your journey - it's so very inspiring. We have some more pronounced parallels so it's especially great for me to see you go through this time of discovery and opening up - and it feeds back into my own growth in those ways (if that makes sense). Thank you for sharing yourself with us so openly!!
Girl, I can relate so hard to “performing femininity“. I repressed my memories of growing up in the evangelical church, and as an adult woman, I was extremely averse to anything feminine or “girly“, and I wasn’t really sure why. It was such a revelation to unpack within myself that it was because I thought femininity was only a performance. Because that’s what I’d always been _shown!_ And girl, as soon as I turned 18 and got out of there, I dressed so androgynously that everyone *assumed* I was butch lesbian - _and I wasn’t even._ 🤣 It’s been a long, slow journey for me to re-incorporate feminine clothing into my wardrobe for my Soft Natural body type, as I’ve healed from the awful things those churches taught me about femininity.
Totally relate to being made to feel unfeminine when young and unable to put on weight. I always dreamed I would be 9 stone one day and now I'm 46 and 9.5 stone but wish I was 21 and skinny again! I should just accept myself (and buy clothes that fit/feel nice) 😀Well done and thank you for sharing these deep thoughts... You have such a refreshing take on life, love and self-worth. Your beauty, intellect and kindness are amazing.
Hi! Love your channel! Would be interested to know if you’ve ever looked into Kitchener essences? I love your flamboyant gamine content but I think you have a lot of natural and classic essence!
I can relate to the strict dress code when going to church. Every time I would stay over at my friends house I wasn’t allowed to wear jeans at their church. I had to wear a skirt that came down to the floor. My friend’s mother commented anytime I wore some thing that showed my shoulders😢
Ok, first of all The Locs™️ are THRIVING and you are glowing. SECOND OF ALLLL (I said it to you already but of course it bears repeating) CONGRATULATIONS on fully embracing yourself and standing firm in the truth of who you are 🌈💛💛 That being said this is such a long comment coming your way 😂 {{CW/ Assault}} The tenderness and support you hold for little you is so precious and inspiring to see. 9:39 literally brought me to tears. I definitely identify with “speaking in code” or trying to keep your healing process or self expression separate from you family/peers as a measure of keeping yourself safe. When I first started competing in spoken word poetry as a means to speak out about and heal from sexual assault and rape culture I was terrified of my family finding out. Growing up as a fellow flamgam- I feel SO. SEEN. with the being told you’re too skinny, being told I had disordered eating (I didn’t add the time- but that’s a whole other Pandora’s box) by other kids and healthcare professionals, just wanting to have boobs (😂) and be proportionate, my mom telling me that I didn’t “look like a woman”- the list goes onnnn. COMPULSORY. HETEROSEXUALITY. The chokehold that had on my life is literally why it took so long for me to realize I’m ace. Like, the desperation to fit in and be normal and accepted- whew AND OMG the push pull of wanting to be seen as attractive by the church boys- and can we talk about the systemic dissonance between not meeting the conventional Eurocentric standards of beauty AND being hypersexualized as a Black femme And oh the performative Christianity (I certainly did the Bible thing too 😅) This was so inspiring and affirming, sending you all the love. One day I hope we meet in person so I can give you the biggest hug 💛💛
Riooooo!!! I'm just now reading this two months later, and I'm so moved. We have so many similar experiences. I'm so sorry you had to be resilient when you deserved kindness and curiosity and gentleness. I know one day we'll meet and I will most definitely sob when that happens.
I love that we’re getting to a place where we can comfortably sit in a space of femininity as non binary beings. It’s an energy, a presence, not a presentation.
OMG the dissonance 🤦🏽♀️
I wholly innerstrand your inner conflict bc I have experienced to a lot of what you said. Yay growth!! Yay self acceptance!!
SO MUCH LOVE TO YOU!! And a HUGE hug!
Love all of your videos, you are such a kind and gentle person. Hearing you talk about the way you viewed your body as you were growing up resonates with me so much. I wish I could be as kind as you though, you are so kind to your past and current self and you're helping me on the journey of loving my body as it is. I've just started on this journey now and I'm in my 30s! It's hard to put into words how you can help other people like me just by sharing your story and your thoughts but you do. :)
Congratulations on coming out!!
Yay, go Frani! Go Frani! Congratulations on comimg out! Love and hugs to you
Baby girl, I just want to scoop you up in the biggest hug! I am so proud of you, and so happy for you. You seem so much stronger, and more confident than in your earlier videos, but still as sweet and golden hearted as ever. You know who you are, and I think you’ve probably always known, it’s just taken a little time to get to a place where you felt able to acknowledge it. I love the kindness and affection that you show toward younger Frani. We should all do that for ourselves. Sending you so much love. xxx
I'm so proud of you, too! I'm so grateful you shared this with us. The difference in how you carry yourself and talk about things is so apparent. I love watching you grow and learning from you. I wish you a lifetime of continually stepping into your true self more and more, and the freedom to share it with whomever you want to (or don't) whenever it feels right. I also love how excited you get when something you said in the past resonates. Don't you love that feeling when you realize you're smart and insightful and wiser than you realized? Go Frani!
This video is taking me back to being 10 years old and gaining weight and beginning to hate myself. I literally just sat here for a couple minutes talking to myself about all of it. I still haven't reached that point of self love yet. Just a lot of negative thoughts creep up in my head particularly when I'm around others as I have a tendency to compare myself. It is difficult for me to dress without thinking about others instead of how I feel.
I really appreciate this video and you being so brave to just speak your mind. I really hope to be like you someday.
It's amazing to see the confidence you've gained in the last few years! Thank you for everything you share with us, it's truly a gift.
Frani! This is so awesome. I’m really happy for you! As a queer black woman who also grew up with these strict Christian views of gender, sexuality and femininity it’s so great to see you getting to break away from that and come into your own. It took me moving to the other side of the planet for me to see myself and I’m sooo happy that you’re able to do all of that too. Much love for you ❤️
I aspire to how kindly you speak to your past self. Also, happy Pride
Okay Frani, wow I am so happy I e-met you and so proud of you ❤️ really, my queerdar senses were tingling and I know what it feels like to honour your truth. As a bi woman who recently came out as well, I am just snapping my fingers and want to give you the biggest hug ever ✨ yes girl, yesss!!
Hi Fran! I have recently come out as a lesbian as well. And yeah I can relate to you so much AGAIN. It is hard to be yourself growing up as a Christian I totally understand this, but it's good we're getting to know ourselves and we are heading in the right direction eventually. Good luck on your path!
So I’m a queer non-binary person that enjoys incorporating Kibbe concepts in my personal style. I think this the video is interesting in that it opens up this larger conversation of what does it mean for someone like me-a queer trans POC-to participate in a system that is inherently based on cishetero Eurocentric ideals of beauty? It sounds conflicting but at the same time, I’ve been able to use Kibbe to actually honor my own queerness and gender-nonconformity, which has been a special journey.
I'm so glad you found a way to apply that system to your own needs. I'm intrigued about how you've done that and wish you could make a whole video about it like Fran did! I can see how the whole idea of honoring who you really are and not trying to hide or compensate for anything to conform to some idealized societal expectation can be applied to so many things, including all aspects of our identity. I would love to hear more if you're comfortable sharing, but no pressure.
This resonates 100%! I didn't realize we had so much in common when I started following you months ago, but maybe I could sense it somehow. In all seriousness, I am so grateful you shared your story, even though you owe no one any details about your personal life. Having watched this video, I feel hopeful even though I am not as far along as you are with respect to my family and friends. Still "speaking in code," but I want you to know how reassuring it is to see someone on the path ahead of you, with the same intersectional identities, and see they are doing alright.
Please continue on your journey of wellness and self-love--the effects of your loving yourself positively radiate to others. God bless💜
Thanks for saying this. Take your time
You thrive from within a space of abundance, peace and love. And i can see the bravery it took to get here. You are truely your own unique and beautiful essence. And without it being a goal in life, you are a gift for all of us around you. Thank you 🙏
I haven’t seen your femininity video for a long time, and I feel like I’m reacting to it with you. I relate to this entire video so well. Not only where you’ve come from, but also where you are now. I’m so proud of you for embracing yourself fully, and I can’t wait to see the rest of your journey.
I love watching all of your videos so much right now. Your insides are really showing through more in every way. You sound stronger, look stronger and just have the feel of someone who's more at home with themselves. I love watching your journey - it's so very inspiring. We have some more pronounced parallels so it's especially great for me to see you go through this time of discovery and opening up - and it feeds back into my own growth in those ways (if that makes sense). Thank you for sharing yourself with us so openly!!
i'm listening to you while i study. i love body doubling and your energy is so soothing it's helping me relax and make a little progress :-)
Girl, I can relate so hard to “performing femininity“. I repressed my memories of growing up in the evangelical church, and as an adult woman, I was extremely averse to anything feminine or “girly“, and I wasn’t really sure why.
It was such a revelation to unpack within myself that it was because I thought femininity was only a performance. Because that’s what I’d always been _shown!_
And girl, as soon as I turned 18 and got out of there, I dressed so androgynously that everyone *assumed* I was butch lesbian - _and I wasn’t even._ 🤣
It’s been a long, slow journey for me to re-incorporate feminine clothing into my wardrobe for my Soft Natural body type, as I’ve healed from the awful things those churches taught me about femininity.
I'm proud of you Frannie
I love this. you are a beautiful human and i’m glad you’re here 🤍
Do you know, how much i can relate to you???.. Frani, thank you so much for ✨existing ✨ I am really grateful to you...
Frani, You’re so much stronger and confident. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Congratulations.
Beautiful!!! 😭 Thank you for sharing. You are a treasure ❤
I'm obsessed with youuuuu, you absolute QUEEN. thank you for sharing yourself with us!!!
This is beautiful, thank you for sharing and for your bravery.
Totally relate to being made to feel unfeminine when young and unable to put on weight. I always dreamed I would be 9 stone one day and now I'm 46 and 9.5 stone but wish I was 21 and skinny again! I should just accept myself (and buy clothes that fit/feel nice) 😀Well done and thank you for sharing these deep thoughts... You have such a refreshing take on life, love and self-worth. Your beauty, intellect and kindness are amazing.
lol we are a people
I’m watching this video and the revelations about yourself that you’re sharing with a huge smile on my face!!!! ❤
This is an amazing video.
Hi! Love your channel! Would be interested to know if you’ve ever looked into Kitchener essences? I love your flamboyant gamine content but I think you have a lot of natural and classic essence!
Agree. Frani always struck me as natural classic essence even in her choice of clothing
Growth....gotta love it...😉👏🏼
this made me tear up
I can relate to the strict dress code when going to church. Every time I would stay over at my friends house I wasn’t allowed to wear jeans at their church. I had to wear a skirt that came down to the floor. My friend’s mother commented anytime I wore some thing that showed my shoulders😢
Frani - I think you are a darling, sweet young woman.
You looked feminine and beautiful in that video.
🙌🙌🙌
Look how much you've grown!! So amazing, so proud of you! I love that you're so much more comfortable being YOU!
❤️❤️❤️
Ok, first of all The Locs™️ are THRIVING and you are glowing.
SECOND OF ALLLL (I said it to you already but of course it bears repeating) CONGRATULATIONS on fully embracing yourself and standing firm in the truth of who you are 🌈💛💛
That being said this is such a long comment coming your way 😂
{{CW/ Assault}}
The tenderness and support you hold for little you is so precious and inspiring to see.
9:39 literally brought me to tears.
I definitely identify with “speaking in code” or trying to keep your healing process or self expression separate from you family/peers as a measure of keeping yourself safe.
When I first started competing in spoken word poetry as a means to speak out about and heal from sexual assault and rape culture I was terrified of my family finding out.
Growing up as a fellow flamgam- I feel SO. SEEN. with the being told you’re too skinny, being told I had disordered eating (I didn’t add the time- but that’s a whole other Pandora’s box) by other kids and healthcare professionals, just wanting to have boobs (😂) and be proportionate, my mom telling me that I didn’t “look like a woman”- the list goes onnnn.
COMPULSORY. HETEROSEXUALITY. The chokehold that had on my life is literally why it took so long for me to realize I’m ace. Like, the desperation to fit in and be normal and accepted- whew
AND OMG the push pull of wanting to be seen as attractive by the church boys- and can we talk about the systemic dissonance between not meeting the conventional Eurocentric standards of beauty AND being hypersexualized as a Black femme
And oh the performative Christianity (I certainly did the Bible thing too 😅)
This was so inspiring and affirming, sending you all the love.
One day I hope we meet in person so I can give you the biggest hug 💛💛
Riooooo!!! I'm just now reading this two months later, and I'm so moved. We have so many similar experiences. I'm so sorry you had to be resilient when you deserved kindness and curiosity and gentleness. I know one day we'll meet and I will most definitely sob when that happens.
@@franibeard 🥺💛