20 Truths I Wish Someone Told Me About ROCD/Anxiety
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 มิ.ย. 2021
- In this video, I talk about the important things I wish someone told me when I had ROCD/Relationship anxiety.
Now, after having gone through deep healing and awakening from ROCD, I know what to tell my past self... and to you.
Skip to the truths by going to 6:35
» ROCD 2.0 COURSE & COMMUNITY: rocdcourse.com/
» ITUNES PODCAST: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
» SPOTIFY PODCAST: open.spotify.com/show/6BrSot3...
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» ROCD FREE CHECKLIST: rocdcourse.com/the-checklist
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EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE. Don't catastrophize, you are going to be alright. Yes you feel awful, yes your relationship which is the most important thing to you at this moment feels like its in jeopardy but you are going to be alright. Stay calm, resist compulsions and do ERP (with an OCD specialist if possible).
You need to do this for yourself and your partner. Stay calm, you are in control even if you don't feel like it.
Thanks so much. I have been struggling with some tough times lately. Needed to hear this
Thanks
I love this! Thank you 🧡
I wissshh 🙏🙏
beautiful and inspirational. Loves, you are not alone and there is so much hope in healing from ROCD and relationship anxiety. -AIL Team ❤
As someone who has suffered with multiple OCD subjects, this is something you can work through and overcome!
💯 🙌
totally agree. personally I've had some of the worst themes you can imagine and I've somehow managed to work through them all as they came up. you're not doomed :)
So agree. There is hope in healing and finding from ROCD. -AIL Team
❤
Just knowing that ROCD is an actual thing makes me feel much more normal, reassured and a whole lot better. Simply just knowing this is really helping me heal. 😇
YANA love ❤
I couldn’t agree more with these truths! My OCD really flared up a few months into my relationship. It ate me up every night and day, until I started to take control. Mindfulness and self guided exposure therapy helped me tremendously. I learned to just let my thoughts go. Now, I am going into my 4th year anniversary, happy and at peace, especially when I realized these truths that Kiyomi mentioned. Trust me when I say I’ve been there. It will be hard but you can do it!
can you tell us some thoughts you had?
I am in it right now i wishes i will get out of it 🙏
so agree love. and yay so happy for you. Yes, the journey will be hard but you got this. ❤ -AIL Team
"What you resist will persist" is HUGE. My therapist and I, along side with ERP, have me practicing mindfulness meditation, and just allowing your anxiety and intrusive thoughts to just be. Allow them to be there, that doesn't mean you secretly believe them, or that you are taking them as fact, but just allowing them to be, and being aware of them. Its a huge step.
❤❤❤
'You're future self is going to be so proud of you' I have no idea why but that made me cry
This video came at the right moment. I have been having relationship anxiety on and off for 3.5 years since my relationship started. It is difficult. Sometimes your feel normal, sometimes you feel out of control. But I'm gonna persevere and get to the other end of the tunnel.
You are not alone love and yes there is hope and light and the end of the tunnel. You so got this. -AIL Team❤
Please, stay strong and know that you are not alone.
My rocd started in February 2020 and it felt like hell for 6/7 months. I went to therapy and with Kiyomi's videos I learned what rocd really is. I started understanding rocd and where it came from. Now I feel so much better. My rocd isn't completely gone, I don't think it ever will be but it has gotten better. Despite the break up urges and the intrusive thoughts, I stayed true to my values. After these long months of hell I finally am enjoying my relationship again. Stay strong. You will get better. I really did not believe I could get better but I did. You are not alone ❤️
Thank you so much for this. My personal hell with rocd started 1,5 months ago after me and my boyfriend moved together. Since then I've been feeling so so bad, waking up with terrible thoughts and feelings. Your comment really gives me the motivation to keep fighting
what did u start yo do to get better?
You are not alone. Thanks for sharing your story of hope and inspiration love. We are so proud of you. YANA ❤ -AIL Team
Anyone else struggling with obsessing over their partners morals/values? I get extremely anxious when I think about that. If someone (not only my partner necessarily) doesn’t share the exact same perspective on things I get anxious and try to bring them to see things exactly as I do. I get angry and anxious and it’s disturbing my inner peace. Not looking for reassurance. If there’s anyone dealing with this too, how are you managing your thoughts? Too many times I’ve read if someone isn’t sharing the same values or morals as you (even if they aren’t harmful) you have to remove them from your life and I would love to know if there’s anyone out there that’s learned how to deal with it
You know, I used to feel this a lot, I grew up in a christian fundamentalist family and from birth was taught black/white thinking.
On top of that, at age 24, I got diagnosed with autism, and so did my dad at age 52 (he taught me black/white thinking with passion lol). We never knew that about ourselves, we always thought we were normal and we could grasp some sort of perfect morality (christianity didn't help), but now turns out - it's common for autistics to struggle with seeing other people break rules, or do things they consider immoral - it hurts us! So we try to correct others, even without the OCD in the mix.
Of course, I have moral scrupulous ocd, no doubt developed as a combo of the autism and religion, but my point is: what you're experiencing may turn out to be a very normal part of your brain's way of functioning. Have empathy for yourself first, you're only human. ❤
Yep
Yes I sometimes panic when my partner and I have different beliefs, perspectives, or opinions. The deeper and more important something is to me the more panicked I feel if he sees things differently. What i did recently was head on FACE the discomfort and fear and I stepped away from our disagreement where I was trying to get him to see my point.
Once I did this and faced my terror and need for control head on I realized it was waaaay deeper than I had imagined and it had to do with my fear of abandonment that can be traced back to early early childhood. It didn’t actually have to do with our disagreement, that was merely a surface detail. The way I described this experience to myself was that I was “opening a trap door”… not going in yet but having opened it for the first time.
It was a very surreal experience and I had peace for almost a week following it where I felt more like myself. I felt grounded and safer and realized I could be okay with the disagreement even though it was extremely uncomfortable and uncertain.
dialectical behavioral therapy, or DBT, can be incredibly helpful for black and white thinking. It is currently teaching me to listen and see things from a completely different point of view, without actually having to agree with it.
@@KAl-vf1dz I love the values taught in scripture they have helped me to build my faith in God. I don’t find them black and white, it may seem that way, especially when the applications or perspective is seen through the lens of scrupulosity. God is objective truth and he loves us even when we make mistakes, there’s room for grace, forgiveness and growth by this we are shaped loving people, acceptance of flaws being flexible enough to let people as they are even oneself.
What if part of what I struggle with is not trusting my own choices? When I hear that it is in my control and I have choices - I have anxiety about what if I don't know what the right choices are.
You articulated what i had in mind
You are definitely the best !! So much wisdom and not only for rocd but for life itself ! Thanks thanks thanks !
Beautiful video for not only in Romance but also love in general💛
I'm having my 1st session tmorrow with a therapist and I'll talk about this... I certainly had this, also because when I was single I had other kinds of problems that I now recognize all were OCD, and the thing is, maybe my relationship really isn't good for me, maybe it really was wrong form the beginning. Maybe, because my doubts made us both insecure it became toxic. Maybe the therapist will tell me this. But even so, I don't want to make a decision based on fears and doubts. I want these thoughts to cease, so that I'm able to see if the good in him is enough for me to chose him time and time again.
That's great that you are doing therapy love. It is vital to work with a therapist/coach as it so helpful in our healing journey. -AIL Team ❤
I bursted into tears..it touched me.. deeply.. thank you❤️
You are an Angel, Kiomi. Thank you so much. Say hi to Brazil ♥
Thank you for this video Kiyomi. This are things I needed to hear! I appreciate you so much for enlightening me and others as well.
Thank you. There are many of these truths I've learned on my journey, but it's nice to hear you kind of validate them. Thank you.
❤❤❤
I’ve been having all this go on for a year and was recently diagnosed. Just knowing that it is an actual diagnosis made me feel so much more normal. Made it easier to accept. Your videos are helping me work through everything and I’m so so grateful.
This video was SOOOOO LEGIT! Thank you for taking the time to do this.
❤
Does rocd affect anyone else's dreams? I have dreams almost every night about my partner and about another guy that I'm afraid I could like... I feel so guilty. In my dreams, my partner is almost always being rude, or doing unattractive things; while this other guy is usually being kind towards me in the dreams.
When I have really good days I don't usually dream about these things, but most nights, it seems that I'm constantly comparing...even in my dream life.
Me too, you are not alone. I find when I'm vulnerable to my rocd I start to have similar dreams where other people make me feel happier than my current boyfriend. I always wake up uneasy but just remember that this is rocd, not your weird subliminal.
I’ve read somewhere that dreams are just thoughts that come to you during the awaken time and also fears you have. Dreams don’t mean anything literal and you shouldn’t give them any meaning. Last night I dreamed about another guy that was my boyfriend and I didn’t even know who this person was, then I woke up and then dream of still being interested in someone from my past. Last week I dreamed about being with another guy and suddenly running away to find my boyfriend and so and so… I used to get crazy in the mornings googling the meaning of all those things but seriously they just mean what you want them to mean. Don’t engage with them because I can totally tell you that it becomes worse.
Thank you so much! You're amazing! Just started with ROCD smh.... you're so helping me ... I've had different OCD themes I'm just here now and listening to you it's helpful
💕💖
I’m so sorry about your dog 🙏🏻💜
I am thanking you from the bottom of my heart.
I really couldn't have dealt with my anxieties without your work.
♥♥♥
Great video! I wish we all heal in our own time and way 😊 I wanted to say that ACT therapy has helped me a lot. My best wishes for all of you!
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Thank you for this. I am not my thoughts, feelings or beliefs. I am the observer, the witness.
💕
That Chanel is the best thing that ever happenned to me. I live in france and ROCD isn't really a thing here so I figured I just had to break up with my partner to feel better. But because of awaken into love my ROCD is healing slowly and I have hope
I'm glad is helping you heal, I've been having ROCD for years now and in my country isn't really a thing either. I just found out about this channel and I want to give it a try. Your comment gives me hope, thank you.
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Thank you so much!!❤️🙏
Thanks for this, I know I am going to return to this video when things get worse to remind myself that I am going to be fine.
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I have madddd love for you as a human being for taking the time to help us. I'm sure one day I will enjoy my marriage to the fullest and overcome this ridiculous ocd.
♥♥♥
You are an angel ill try your path
your videos are so helpful !!
I’m really suffering with rocd. It really is debilitating but watching your videos makes me feel better and know I’m not alone in this struggle.
Hello, do you need help?
I know of a powerful man that can help you just solutions to your problems just as he helped me..
He can help both your personal life and love life
Contact him via whatspp or sms
We understand how ROCD can dbe difficult love but know that you are not alone and there is hope. -AIL Team
You really an angel that really help me fighting this. When I first saw ur video i m.so confused but after that I getting better .. It not like u will fine immediately. It took time but now I accept the things like it will happen, it will
trigger me again and again . These intrusive thought are difficult to tackle but u will find ur way when u start accepting them .. Its like a circle u suffer feel better then again suffer but trust me after a time u will just know how to handle this . Keep ur mind active and just keep reminding urself that I will go after a time . Thank you so much for this channel and the motivation .❣
You're doing amazing! Keep going strong. I promise, its worth it.
It's hard I am suffering from depression and anxiety. Idk what I want anymore. Sometimes it feels like I don't have rocd it is just how I feel. It makes me feel I like the thoughts I really want to cheat but no it's not true . How can i just fall out of love suddenly when the things were going so great . I don't even look at other guys so that I prove myself that I won't cheat . But still it's horrible.
@@harleyq2693 hello, I understand how you feel. I've been like you too but I got help and you too can get help
I know of a man that can help you.
Contact him via SMS or whatspp
Your videos are meditating ❤
Hello guys
I‘ve been struggling with ROCD since my last relationship. In my current one everything was going fine until suddenly everything crashed down. I literally feel that I, all of a sudden, don‘t love my boyfriend anymore and I don‘t know what else to believe. Suddenly I have a problem and an obsession with finding him ugly / handsome and all of a sudden my feelings for love are as if they had never been here, even though I freaking know I love him.
I don‘t know exactly what to do, the only compulsions I can see are me obsessing. I am slowly building a complete avoidance against him, but it‘s not very far yet.
Thanks.
Hi, my rocd got better, almost disappeared, but there was another problem. I have a great fear of falling in love with someone else and physically betraying my partner. When I was 15, I loved flirting with guys, I loved attention and communication, I also took photos where my figure is visible and sent and enjoyed the reaction. I'm 20 now, and I understand that I'm afraid I'll start doing it again, because for me it's essentially a betrayal. I am so afraid that I control my behavior so as not to fall in love with someone else. I am afraid that if I let go of control, I will immediately betray my partner. I am afraid that because I did not have many partners, but only my husband, I did not get fat and that I want other men and that I will physically betray. I also have the following thoughts:
1 "What if I become happy and realize that I do not love my husband and we will break up"
2 "what if I put my figure and head in order and realize that I never loved my partner and I will stop choosing him and we will divorce"
3 "what if I start loving myself and stop loving my partner and we break up"
4 "what if I fall in love with another and betray my partner and we break up"
5 "what if I'm already in love with someone, literally looking at someone"
6 "what if I met my classmate not just like that, but it's fate and I'm in love with him"
these thoughts bother me
I want to develop, to be happy both inside and next to my husband, but I am afraid that if I become globally happy, successful, beautiful, I will definitely lose my husband. How do I deal with this, what to do? Maybe someone had something similar and you have advice?
Whenever I deal with intrusive thoughts regarding my relationship I lose my appetite develop very bad digestion and it's okay until I don't meet my partner.. when I meet him and I don't feel love towards him when I come back to my home I feel so guilty and ashamed for not feeling the way I would feel at the start of my relationship
Is it common for relationship OCD to focus on jokes? For example, before, if this teasing was, they laughed or answered something and forgot, now I am thinking about these jokes and they began to offend me wildly and all this turned into quarrels. Although the feeling of resentment and anger is not such a feeling, but some kind of distorted. Was it relationship OCD given, or was it just OCD that made me aggressive?
I recently found out I’ve been dealing with rocd. Soon after that me and my ex split up. She is the first person I feel I truly fell in love with, at 40. Although I believe the right decision has been made rocd has confused me and put be in so much pain. I miss her so much but am grateful for these resources to change and learn.
It still feels scary but I’m going to have faith it’s been more difficult because i’m having trouble defining the difference between leaning into discomfort and obsessing in order to overcome my current obsessing
Hello, you need help?
I know of a powerful man that can help you. I understand what you're feeling and going through.
He has helped me too
Hope is not lost.
Contact him via SMS or whatspp
Hi! Thank you so much for bringing this condition into the lime light. I've suffered from this with every single boyfriend I've had. Your videos really help me. Can I ask if you still suffer with rocd?
Struggling intensely at the moment. Having feelings of dread, irritation, and wanting to run. I just want to feel in love with him again. How can I possibly know if it's ROCD or I'm just not into him anymore?
I understand how you feel.
I've come across a lot of people like you. I've been helped too.
Don't wanna talk much, I know of a man that can help.
Contact him via SMS or whatspp
@@michaeldalenvan2055 Who is the guy?
@@jessjess8144 have you contacted him?
@@michaeldalenvan2055 bro the fuck, you didn't even say who
I started to get this after 2years i just woke up with this butterfly/sinking feeling my brain saying do i love him it’s been 2/3months of constant weird feelings in my stomach and chest my body getting a rush of heat constant thoughts do I love him,I need to break up with him I don’t love him etc to the point I cry I’ve never had any of this before this is my 1st healthy relationship I’m 21 I’ve been in toxic abusive on and of relationships in my relationship now we have never broken up he’s never called my names we communicate our feelings when we argue he lets us cool off before we talk I’ve never been in a relationship where I’ve not begged to be treated right or where we have not been breaking up and getting back together every week I keep wondering if this is intuition but I don’t wanna lose him I don’t want to leave I wanna stay I wanna feel how I did before and be happy and love him with all my heart and treat him cause he deserves the world he’s so amazing to me kind gentle loving caring and generous
I think I have been suffering from ROCD towards my wife for a long time without knowing it. We now have a young son and unfortunately I also have similar thoughts towards him and constantly check whether I love him or feel something or not. This really gets me down - I just want to be a good father.
Most likely a sign of rocd!
Most likely it’s because you do love him & her. OCD wants to ruin everything for you!
Sooo I think I’ve always had ROCD but I’m just discovering more about it. I’ve been single for 8 years because I would always say relationships aren’t for me (they always gave me anxiety). I recently just got into a relationship and pretty much right when he asked me to be his girlfriend a month ago I cannot stop my obsessive thoughts. I feel like I read a lot of people talking about how they’ve been in long term relationships and then rocd comes up.., has anyone had it right from the beginning? It’s so freaking hard and I want to give up but there’s a part of me that feels like he’s worth it.
I feel the same as well.
Mine popped up right when I told him I liked him back lol
Yes. This is what I’m currently going through. I had an episode in my last 2 relationships and now I just started one & it’s happening now.
Late to the party but yes this is me, I’ve been single 7 years aside from casual flings, finally find someone I like and the day everyone found out we were dating BAM, ROCD is back! I’m 32 and only this week have I discovered what ROCD is and what I’ve been suffering from all these long years!
Yep, literally first date. It was confusing but I made the choice to love and commit to her.
Hear me out. The anxiety increases because you create a thought that covers a feeling and because you form that thought (whatever thought may be) it creates anxiety because you are telling yourself a lie.
i dont want to leave my partner, hes perfect and so good to me and i dont want to leave him, but i am struggling with rocd so bad rn that we're taking a break. ive been writing down how i feel and my newest fear now is that - though i dont want to break up with him at all, why do i think sometimes i may be okay with him breaking up with me? or why do i think if we needed to break up id rather him do it? im very very scared and confused and i need advice. i love him and i want it to work so bad!!
I feel the same ):
I feel the exact same, you arent alone, everything will he alright nicole
Unless you’re in an abusive situation, breakup urges are typically actually the urge to break up with your anxiety not the person. We just don’t want to feel so shitty anymore! This is what’s taught in the Awaken Into Love course.
My intrusive thought is “what if I am choosing my partner because I want to settle with what I have?” So yeah, that doesn’t bode well wiht the idea of choosing a partner :(
tips start at 6:36
Everything was going fine with me till the day when I suddenly had this thought that whether I love her or not. This led me to compare my relationship with others and i started checking whether I do the same thing or not. I started having a check on my feelings. And the more I did the more I started to believe that I don't love her like I used to.
One day I just felt that these doubts are there maybe because I don't love her.
And this one thought is making me believe that I don't love her.
I started to feel this urgency of leaving her, and this kills me from within.
I don't want to lose her, I want to love her and feel my love again for her.
Have I really lost my love for her or is it just my ROCD?
I feel the same thing man, EXACTLY the same bro
ME CURRENTLY! Last week I had the random all of a sudden thought of “breaking up with my girlfriend” & I started to get obsessive & overthink & question myself “why?” When I love my gf
ROCD!
experiencing this, how are you now
right now I'm in a crash state and I feel so much tension. I feel so much tension and fear that talking to him or being with him is to overwhelming. Its like he's coming to close.. When I think about this; I even get more fear and start to have panic. I just dont wat to lose him. I have the feeling that i am the only who has this and haven’t see this by other people who are experiencing R-OCD. Does someone has experience with this, is this a sign of R-OCD or does anyone have tips? I feel so worse 😞 please help me
Hey kiyomi..i am currently going through OCD and unfortunately i have found out that my partner has fallen out of the honeymoon phase too..her ideas and beliefs of love has changed and she is very confused too..she is sad and devastated the way i was when i first fell out of the honeymoon phase and knew nothing about OCD..i hope she doesn't fall into OCD too..i am terrified..but strong..😞
Hello, do you need help?
I know of a powerful man that can help you get solutions to your problems just as he helped me
He can help both your personal life and relationship.
Contact him via SMS or whatspp
@@michaeldalenvan2055 if u have an Instagram account please leave your id here
As an rocd suffer, I thought I wasn't in love with my partner because I was depressed, and experiencing depression sometimes at least. And I felt his love a drug at the same time.
how did you cope with this?
If obsessive thoughts , discomfort , anger and all of those of upset feelings don't define us, how about love and compassion? I'm having intrusive thoughts that love doesn't define me too. Then I'll be observing love.... Could u give me a reply
I belive I also have ROCD. But it is not always the thoughts that are so bad. I feel I can finally handle them.. i miss my bf when is not here but if he is.. there is such a terrkble negative feeling in me.. i cant calm down and everything.. i can calm down when we go to sleep and I lay in his arm... that is my home..
But the rest of the time I almost all the time have that feeling in me.. do you also have that? Of course then I think it is bc I do not love him and so on 😭😭😭
Same😔
How can I start to really understand what “love is a choice” is/means? I feel this would help me so much!
Love is a choice means that even if you don't feel like it (which is totally normal) you still choose your significant other everyday regardless how hard it might be
I’ve never had any OCD traits. But is it possible to develop ROCD?
Thoughts on having these doubts in the first relationship ever? I’ve been together with my first boyfriend for four years and i start to wonder if these obsessive thoughts are signs that I just cant connect to my partner because i haven’t experienced any other partners? I mean, I’m wondering if I’m in the right relationship because I don’t have any references. Sorry for bad english lol
ROCD can come up whenever and wherever. I totally understand what you mean and your concern. I’m in my first legitimate relationship and that’s one thing I OBSESS over, but I obsess over everything else too, it’s nothing special. Your relationship is fine! I hope things have worked out! I know it’s been a few months since you’ve commented.
What happens when you feel so normal that you believe you don’t have ROCD? I constantly feel normal but my feelings are still not completely back. They show randomly in small bursts but that’s it. I still look on Reddit constantly looking for more people who feel the same way I do… I look at my partners pictures and feel nothing. I am at a loss… I have been taking Zoloft but that’s all I have done. I don’t even wanna go back work anymore.. I just don’t have it in me to do anything… I try to be loving but I constantly feel extremely off.
Hi Amanda if a may say this to you, I think it is important to remember that love is not about feelings, but I truly understand what you mean, cause I have been there. I think you are looking for reasurence and that is a compulsion as well. Seeking for feelings and analysing everything is holding you back. To recognize and stop the compulsions is the first step, but there is so much more work to do. Hope you get better! I highly recommend ACT therapy, it has helped me a lot. Good luck.
Hey Amanda, these are some of the most common compulsions that rOCD induced people tend to do. Be mindful that these are just actions caused by your mind obsessing through a perfectionist mentality. No relationship is perfect and thats what makes everyone's own unique. These thoughts are just thoughts and nothing else. Trust me, if you really didn't love your partner you would've already known by now!
Starts at 6:39, you're welcome.
Actual content starts @6:35
Can someone please tell me 😣
Does ROCD also means doubting on your partner or having thoughts like what if he is interested in other girls or what if he's lying that he is not interested in other girls?
Yes could definitely be ROCD. but if you have genuine evidence of him doing this it could be a real Red Flag.
Can u plz help me and hold my hand? Thank u for all this❤
Is it rocd when you know you love your partner but you can’t feel the love ( idk if you know what I mean) and it makes you feel bad and have anxiety because you can’t feel the love
But it is the thought that just makes you really believe u dont love her and its really annoying
I ask myself the same question
Hello, i just leave my partner 8 month ago because i always asked myself if i was in love etc, but i didn’t know what was the reasons of that. Know i know that i suffer from ROCD.
I recently saw my ex around a coffee, and i am now constantly asking myself if i don’t have loose something, if it is the good ones etc.. it is really hard because she seems to be still open .. the battle with my thoughts are really strong and i don’t know what is the reality.. someone has something to sy about that?
How has things been going since? You can get through ROCD with your partner, if you WANT to be with her again, try it!
Then what are feelings of love
My exact question. Been trying to figure it out for over a year.
So sad that the last videos are not translated into French :(
If you are saying we are not our thoughts and feelings..does it mean that our positive thoughts and good feelings (which makes us happy ofc) are not real/true either??
Hello, do you need help ?
I know of a powerful man that can help you get solutions to your problem just as he helped me
He can help both your personal life and relationship.
Contact him via SMS or whatspp
@@michaeldalenvan2055 yes sure
@@townboy6166 have you contacted him?
Contact him now via whatsapp
@@michaeldalenvan2055 who is he? Give me his contact details
If we are not our emotions ? Then what are we ? And what about happy thoughts ?
Observers of our thoughts
We are the observer of our minds, our thoughts and feelings.
Guys, not to worry any of you, but be careful. I thought I had ROCD, because I was constantly anxious in my relationship and felt like something wasn't right. I thought I couldn't trust my gut, because he was an amazing boyfriend and we didn't have any major fights or problems ever. But I was wrong. I eventually couldn't keep fighting with myself and ended the relationship. Looking back, I know he was not the right fit for me and was just trying to convince myself I was the problem. I feel so much better now that I am single and wish I had listened to my gut all along. Every relationship is different, so I am not saying that ROCD is bullshit. But please be careful and don't jump to conclusions too soon. If you felt better single than in the relationship you're in, it's a sign. If you are more anxious than ever since you've been dating, it means something. If you keep doubting, it also means something. Anywaysss I hope this helped someone:) lots of love xx
Doubting, anxiety, and having felt better before the relationship can all THREE be signs of ROCD. They all three tend to be present even in the most textbook cases.
I’m not saying that it was the case with YOU, but I DO know that for those with it, you just gave bad advice.
And many people with ROCD who leave their relationships the way you did, describe the feelings of peace after. The relationship was triggering their anxiety, so of course they’ll feel better when it’s over.
But many of them realize in their next relationship that it was a mistake because they run into the same problem.
Hi, my rocd got better, almost disappeared, but there was another problem. I have a great fear of falling in love with someone else and physically betraying my partner. When I was 15, I loved flirting with guys, I loved attention and communication, I also took photos where my figure is visible and sent and enjoyed the reaction. I'm 20 now, and I understand that I'm afraid I'll start doing it again, because for me it's essentially a betrayal. I am so afraid that I control my behavior so as not to fall in love with someone else. I am afraid that if I let go of control, I will immediately betray my partner. I am afraid that because I did not have many partners, but only my husband, I did not get fat and that I want other men and that I will physically betray. I also have the following thoughts:
1 "What if I become happy and realize that I do not love my husband and we will break up"
2 "what if I put my figure and head in order and realize that I never loved my partner and I will stop choosing him and we will divorce"
3 "what if I start loving myself and stop loving my partner and we break up"
4 "what if I fall in love with another and betray my partner and we break up"
5 "what if I'm already in love with someone, literally looking at someone"
6 "what if I met my classmate not just like that, but it's fate and I'm in love with him"
these thoughts bother me
I want to develop, to be happy both inside and next to my husband, but I am afraid that if I become globally happy, successful, beautiful, I will definitely lose my husband. How do I deal with this, what to do? Maybe someone had something similar and you have advice?
Привет) Я перевожу видео этого канала. Хотела сказать, что у меня тот же самый страх -- влюбиться в другого, пока я в отношениях...
I completely understand what you are going through, I am similar to you in this way. As a kid I didn’t get the love I needed from my parents and felt very abandoned so when I started to get attention from boys/men I finally felt that I was getting attention which I mistook for a form of love and approval that I was missing from my parents. I don’t want to analyse you or assume your situation is the same as mine but when we get so used to seeking out a kind of attention and validation which is superficial and based purely on first sight and attraction then we feel comfort in this. I assume you like myself have been lucky enough to meet a man who has shown you a true form of love and a healthy relationship and this may scare you so your brain is looking for reasons to leave and run a mile because it is out of your comfort zone and deep down you are scared of being vulnerable and getting hurt. When you find someone who you care enough about to want to commit to and consider marriage with then you have to be vulnerable and realise that physical attraction is not the answer as this will fade with time , you will both be attracted to other people physically , there are many attractive people in the world but the beauty of a true relationship is you allow your vulnerabilities to create a deeper emotional bond, which can lead to far greater sexual chemistry in the long term than just looks and first impressions. I’ve been working on very similar issues as you but I can give you reassurance that I’m finally turning things round in my relationship and it’s better than ever, even though my ROCD is still there I have accepted that it is okay to be attracted to other people and the worrying all the time is just a form of anxiety because you are scared to lose your partner that you care about , if you didn’t care you wouldn’t be so anxious and scared of doing the things you mention. As kiyomi often says , love is a choice , just keep faith the power is in you to make it work xx
I think the worst part of struggling w ROCD, is understanding it, knowing I have it, finding relief through these types of videos, but not having access to therapy. Part of me wonders how much further along I would be in my healing if I could afford therapy. There are therapists who are around me in network but are more counselors rather than specializing in trauma and OCD - specifically this subtype. Any therapist who even remotely deals with more trauma charges $150 a session. To everyone struggling, hold on 🫶🏻