Learn My Top Tips for Healing Past Trauma and Changing Your Life
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ก.ค. 2023
- Come See Me In Person. One-Day Workshops TX, NC & LONDON: bit.ly/49rzM0Z
Take the QUIZ: bit.ly/3GhE65z
FREE COURSE: *The Daily Practice*: bit.ly/3X1BrE0
Website: bit.ly/3CxgkRY
***
So much content on trauma is about WHAT HAPPENED. It's true that acknowledging the past is important, but real healing happens when you can notice your CPTSD SYMPTOMS and use strategies to calm your trauma reactions and make positive changes in your life. In this "best of" compilation I share my top videos on how you can stop the drama and transform you life after trauma.
Heal Trauma in Just One Year? Download pdf : bit.ly/3JrPdvx
***
*Letters*: Want to submit a question for me to answer in a video?
Keep it short, not too explicit, relevant for this audience.
bit.ly/3VVxqjm
Become a Member!
Access ALL my courses, webinars, group coaching & online community
bit.ly/3Zfx9dN
Best Course for Beginners:
Online course: Healing Childhood PTSD
bit.ly/3k6gQQH
How I Recently Lost 25 Pounds: ble.life/V9fe9O
Change Trauma-Driven Dating Patterns
Online course: Dating & Relationships for People with CPTSD
bit.ly/3IBbrv7
Learn to Heal CPTSD-driven Dysregulation
Online course: Dysregulation Bootcamp
bit.ly/3ZpjGAh
Heal Isolation and Build Better Relationships
Online course: Connection Bootcamp
bit.ly/3iuUEPz
Coaching Programs & LIVE Calls with Anna
NEW Coaching Program for DATING: Apply Now: bit.ly/3Qjdozs
8-Week Coaching Intensive for Healing CPTSD: bit.ly/3wjVVjg
Join LIVE Webinars with Anna Runkle: bit.ly/3ifhJ8U
PARTNERS/RECOMMENDED PRODUCTS
(I receive commissions on referrals & recommend services I know and trust)
Is Carb Sensitivity Sabotaging Your Energy and Weight? Take the Quiz:
ble.life/V9fe9O
NEED ONLINE THERAPY? BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist:
betterhelp.com/CCF
NEED BETTER SLEEP? Manta SLEEP MASK Use code CCFAIRY for 10% Off:
bit.ly/43udhog
Great encouragement. Thank you for making this video and driving home the point that anyone can heal. Anyone. Even a little. Just start. Too many believe they cannot, that they’re too damaged, or broken. Henry Ford famously said “If you think you can or if you think you can’t, you’re right.” Being the victim is so much easier. Then it becomes a habit, and even gets them attention. For many, as painful as it is to stay where they are, it seems safer than changing. It’s so easy to focus on one’s limitations rather than possibilities and remain stuck. One can either own their limitations and stay a victim or overcome them, and keep trying, little by little.
Thank you! We believe in encouragement too ... it's medicine. You're right, it's one little step at a time but they build on each other.
Julie@TeamFairy
You boomers love to victim shame, funny when it's you that causes these problems in people. You're hero Ford was an anti semite btw
6jkkjh
Beautifully said!!
I’ve TRIED OVER AND OVER.
Im a clinical psychologist and had a breakdown about 6 months ago. It can happen to absolutely ANYONE! My skills and insights kept an especially difficult legal situation from getting out of hand emotionally ... then BANG. Essentially I had to be in bed for 3 months, and I just listened to this kind video over and n over to sooth myself. Be kind to yourselves people.
Sending you love and light. God bless. Nurse Kathy
I’m one too and when people said I had PTSD, I didn’t believe them or understand (!) now I realize I have CPTSD (not just depression, being spoiled or having anger issues). Struggling with my own kiddos has opened my eyes… I found myself behaving in ways that shocked me… My pain and difficulties led me to these videos. I honestly am overwhelmed at the healing that I need to do… but I’m preparing myself… thank you for this video! I’ve got a lot of work ahead…
Wishing you full recovery ❤️🩹
You're not alone. I have Phd in behavioral sciences and worked as en expert in the field of domestic abuse. Recently my mum's death triggered many memories off my abusive childhood and turned my life into an even more wrecked version of the survival mode it had been before that and had a crisis that involved reaching out to an organisation that gives crises help. Fortunately I was shortly after that diagnosed with CPTSD and found my way into this channel (and Heidi Priebe's, she is a dr. in psychology with CPTSD and her video's are a great addition to these).Wishing you all the best.
No one is immune, I imagine you would need extra support and specialists in your field to counsel you, also much braver to admit it when within the field.
Blessings on your rest, recovery and healing.
☮️🧘☮️
Hi Anna, I was oblivious to the fact that I was the cause of my now 37 year old son’s CPTSD… and we now both watch your videos and our relationship is getting much better. Thank you for all you do! ♥️🙏🏻♥️
Wow, this is great. Thank you for healing and learning together.
Julie@TeamFairy
Thanks for holding yourself accountable.
Such a beautiful and courageous step for both of you (((hugs)))
Thank you for doing right by your son and taking accountability. I hope you both can heal and go far ❤
This is an incredible admission. You are both very brave❤
To speed up healing:
1. Learn about complex CPTSD- about dysregulation
2. Notice “ordinary” problems vs trauma related problems
3. Move trauma story from looping thoughts to memory
4. Stop isolating or trying to control other people’s behavior. Focus on healing. Notice being triggered, and learn to self regulate.
5. Stop trash talking people
6. End bad relationships
7. Leave bad work environments
8. Release the belief bad people are attracted to you
9. Recover from addictive behaviors, don’t escape life
10. Ask yourself and list of what you can do to heal
Thank you helps.
Thanks
Thank you very much for taking the time to list the bullet points! 🌻
Great comment, thank you for this
I'm 65 yrs old. I've struggled in silence my entire life. Abused by a mother's angry rages. And I was that scapegoat child. Plus my older sister bullied me, having neighborhood kids, or cousins join in.
At the age of 47, a college professor told me he thought I have adhd. It made sense, so I just kept struggling. Every attempt I've made through the years to seek counseling was a total failure.
After the death of my dad in 2019, and breakup of a long time boyfriend, stress of my 2 adult children with addictions to heroin, loss of friends and family. I've isolated so much, I don't even leave my house anymore. I've done alot of TH-cam research for about research on mental health to find more answers. I'm glad I found you crappy childhood fairy. I know I have cpsd. Anyway struggling alone.
Please know you are not alone. 59 and so similar we need an online group to share our development and goals. The isolation is not helping our growth.
I'm sure having a safe gal-pal to share our struggles and to support our goals is a win-win!
You are not alone! There are many of us in similar situations like u, working with therapy and watching Anna's videos!😊
You are absolutely not alone, our whole community is here for you. Sending you lots of support :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I feel your pain and never leave my house, too afraid and too drained to even try any more, Anna has brought me some insight , however I still feel like I'm a lost cause. Too old to start over again, nor do I have desire to go thru another rejection or judgement.
Keep at it karenscott612. You are worth it.
I dont think Ive ever felt more understood. This is the therapist I always needed. 🥺
This woman is amazing, so empathetic & compassionate! She tells it like it is!
Mine has been the being late for every job since I was 14. 62 now starting a new temp job next week. It's crucial that I don't ruin this one.
In your case, perhaps she does, but not in every case! You are fortunate that your issues are so easy to compartmentalise.
What is it about being late - I was the same but not only me but getting my children to school also.
I don’t have a problem with being late anymore.. other than my children are adults now.
Yes a great balance of compassion and practical advice!
1. Get up early in the morning an hour early
2. Write down anxious and defeated past
3. Meditation
4. Exercise hard, heart rate up for more than 20 minutes
5. Get into nature
6. Movement in the group
7. Eat protein
8. Make a list of most important things to do, three most important things, one most important thing
9. Don’t talk about the negative things (all the time)
10. What am I avoiding?
* Find something kind you can do for someone (without them knowing)
Thank you for this list!
thanks so much. this is very accessible
1. Careful about the getting up one hour early bit. If you are sleep deprived, you're just going to ruin your health. Not only will it have an impact on your brain, but it will also have a detrimental effect on your cardiovascular health, your renal function, your liver function, any auto immune conditions (my ibs and my graves always flare up when I am sleep deprived for more than a couple of weeks in a row), any cancer cells that might have remained dormant until then...
4. Also, exercise which rates your heart rate won't be any good if you have a tendency to be high strung, jumpy etc. Much better to stretch and to get myofascial release and/or deep tissue massage. Beware also of the risk of injury (I did so much running in my 30s that I ended up with sciatica. I would walk/jog/run home from work, 20 kilometres, several evenings a week). About half of it was along a canal, with pastures and woods (owls, kingfishers etc.), so it was the best part of the day... but it was too much exercise, especially as I went to the gym as well (to get rid of the stress and because if I came home early after work or stayed home at the weekend, one of the landladies would come knocking on my door and ask nosy questions and criticise just about everything about my lifestyle, including... my underwear!)
7. Eating protein is a good tip, I'd favour oily fish.
Try cholinergic supplements and/or foodstuff.
9. I second not talking about the negative stuff too much. I've tried Lacanian psychoanalysis a bit (with a filthy pig) for a bit and have known people (all of them women, usually wealthy and unhappily married and/or divorced) who spent 10, 20 years having therapy (mostly Lacanian psychoanalysis) and they didn't get ANY better, far from it. They added various psychotropes, alcohol, smoking, comfort eating, sex toys, swingers' clubs, BDSM clubs, gigolos... but they remained stuck at the same stage.
I’m utterly exhausted just looking at that list.
What does “movement in the group” mean? What “group”?
Busted! My hair is currently not brushed in the back... 😂😂😂 Anna, you truly understand us and are so loving and non- judgemental while sharing hugely important insights. When I observe someone living their true purpose and using their unique gifts to help others, it is so inspiring. There are a handful of people I have encountered like you, who radiate with authenticity and the spirit of service. I ache to be a woman for others and show gratitude for my blessings in this way some day, too. Thank you for your help and for setting an example of what is possible for those of us who struggle with cptsd. ❤❤❤
Thank you for your kind words! I'll make sure Anna reads this :)
-Calista@TeamFairy
I’m so damaged I will not let any man try even try to talk to me I only fix my self up a little for drs Appt s I don’t want anyone taking a second look at me I’m still running from my abusive Ex boyfriend 😢
I understand beenthere a while now. It's ok, you've been doing what you needed to do to try tojust survive and heal from the things suffered a little. Getting involved with another person when we have not healed from the last heartache would not be fair tothem or ourselves anyway. People jump to new relationships, they often will get into some drug or be drinking alot & go wild partying and when young that's what I usually did when going through a heartbreak, or trying to recover from an abusive person's attacks.....but from 1 to the other I never healed inside from anything, I just shoved it down deeper, tok more substances and kept on keeping on. We can only do that for so long. At the time it can be like a survival tactic, it distracts from our feelings, lets us act like we're ok. But eventually .when your life is at a better place, when you're strong enoufh, then you'll find you will start wanting answers, healing, you want to not fall into a bad one again so you'll start processing your pain, accepting it and forgiving where possible, meaning even yourself you will forgive when you start having compassion for YOU. Love yourself, you've come through alot and you can do anything. You can win in this too,dear. SAy out loud every day "I'm great, I'm worthy, I am not perfect but I AM wonderful and I CHOOSE HEALING AND LIFE!!"@@FaithDixon-cr1lg
Too funny. I must admit I made sure I checked the back of my hair B4 going to church last night lol
“Is your hair brushed in the back?” 🤣🤣 hilariously accurate! Thanks again, Anna.
You're so welcome :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I’m 45, divorced, single mom. I neglected to build a career when I was younger. I was too scared to learn new things, too scared to apply to different jobs, didn’t know what I wanted to do, had zero confidence in myself, and ended up marrying and having kids. Over 15 years later we’re divorced, and I’m stuck in low-level jobs unable to support myself independently of my ex-husband or my mom, who helps out a little when she can (but she’s retired and on a tight budget too). I’m in a 2 bdrm apartment and sleeping on the couch so my kids can have bedrooms. This apt is expensive for what it is. It’s not fancy AT ALL, but it’s almost $2000/month. I DREAM of having a place of my own, to build equity, feel secure. That’s a long way off still, but I’m trying to take steps in the direction of that. I’m taking an online course to learn some new skills in the hope of getting a better paying job. This uncertainty is draining and scary, but I must have some strength because I ended a relationship that could have given me financial stability….it just wasn’t working. I’m ready to make it on my own. Come on Universe!
Why can't the kids share a bedroom so that you can have a room. It's not good for you to be sleeping on a couch
You got this! We're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@@regularity2556 They’re a 15 year old boy and a 12 year old girl. They need their own space, and I want to give them the best experience possible. They used to share a room when they were younger.
@@thanksagainforthetea I’ve had this exact idea. Thing is, I want to keep my kids in their school district for continuity and friendships, and the city we live in is fairly expensive. The housing market skews toward middle to upper class incomes. Even buying land is the same price small houses were back in the ‘00s. I could’ve stayed in a relationship that wasn’t working in order to have financial security, but I’m grateful for the strength to leave it for the possibility of a better life someday.
@@CarrieMHB222 You're doing good lady. Your kids are safe and cared for. You realise your issues. It's bumpy but the only way is up.
I've lived my adult life believing "this is just the way I am." Stumbling onto your site has opened my eyes to how my past has created chaos/clutter in my life. At 70 years old it's time to deal with this. Thank you.
You got this! We're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
May God help you and bless you! 🙏
"Does it make you a doormat?" really hits home.
This video has many tips not only for trauma, but to get a better life…
I left from a job because they were forcing us to wear smart shoes as a waitress and my legs were hurting and bleeding badly and when I told them they told me you are gonna be used to that. I didnt even stay for a month!!! 😂. Taking care of yourself is sometimes hard but totally worth it.
Wow! Those shoes don't sound very smart if they were hurting your feet and legs! I hope you can find a job where you are allowed to wear shoes that work for you!
Julie@TeamFairy
Hey guys, too rushed to express fully, how much this is blessing me, and how much I pray for all of us!
I have read lots of comments about people who feel like they are hopeless, too far gone, etc. and I am struggling with the same. God helped me remember all the reals I have come across of people getting old, discarded furniture off the side of the road, and transforming it into beautiful and lovely pieces. We, too, can be transformed!!!
Love and big hugs to all!!!❤️🤗
I highly suggest EMDR therapy for people with CPTSD. Get the book by Pete Walker called CPTSD From Surviving to Thriving. Also the book called The Body Keeps the Score. This channel is awesome too. I have been in EMDR therapy for over 2 years for CPTSD. It works for me and it might work for you. The books I recommended are what my psychologist recommended to me and they are fantastic. Thanks Crappy Childhood Fairy. You are incredibly insighful and are a great part of healing but this is a lifetime mental illness that doesn’t go away but it does get much better.
We love those books too! Pete's is more accessible, while Bessel's is more scholarly & footnoted. Thanks for your comment. Julie@TeamFairy
Your last sentence is what I think can drain my power. The more I see/discover the way & the depth of damage done by my abusive relationships and then by my “biblical counselors” the more it seems the wound stays open. I paid to be abused?? Talk about trust issues. I still have such trust issues with people charging for a service- especially if my sickness gives them a return customer $$$. It’s a ride to be on the path of recovery. You realize …oh, that’s why I do that!! They were gaslighting me my entire life! lol sorry to be so negative! I find that having spaces like this of expressing authentic emotions of pain/loss is helpful bc it means I’m not the crazy one calling a lie a lie or abuse, abuse. I think I should try EMDR again. I’m so glad it’s helping you. Grateful for Anna and her bold truth-telling. “Crap-fit” is a fave term of hers. ❤🌱🕊️
@@Deelitee I think we are more normal than most realize. I still have trust issues but the flashbacks and negative self talk have become less and less. EMDR rewires your brain to put all of the emotional distress surrounding flashbacks and yes, crazy bible thumping idiot talk into a neater package (for lack of a better word). It never really goes away but it is less distressing than it used to be. Some of my memories were distressing to an 8-9 on a scale of 1-10 and now they are a 3-4. I have had to work hard to change my thought processes but I’m getting there. I still have issues surrounding my childhood and adulthood traumatic events and learned behaviors but it is a journey not a destination if you know what I mean. I get that it’s hard to pay for help (that may not be what you expect) but you pay for other things that are good and bad for you I bet. And you probably don’t bat an eye at those purchases. 😉😊 You only get drained by what you allow. If a therapist isn’t a good fit, fire them and search for one that is. I know that is hard for some depending on their location. It doesn’t matter what letters are behind their name as long as you can “try to build trust” with them and they know what they are doing. Good luck in your journey! ❤️
Tried EMDR once, didn't work for me. I don't remember details (they ask you go to any time in your life and then ask what you see) because my brain is great at not remembering specific details/blocking. I also went to the therapist for a while during covid shut downs and I only felt re traumatized.
I'm loving this channel because and learning independently.
I just started emdr therapy and I’m about 5 sessions or so in and it’s been life changing!
Thank you❤ I was so numb for so long, and I hid my emotions, or when I was triggered. Feeling dead inside felt easier, but empty...life has given me one obstacle or avalanche after another during this last year. It's been too much and once the emotions started to surface the wheels fell off. My memory has suffered, I can't concentrate, my brain feels broken and my executive functioning is a day to day struggle. I know that I'm capable of so much...and it takes time, but I feel ready to be loved and move forward. ❤
We understand as few others can. We're all rooting for you!
-Calista@TeamFairy
Love x
If you don't please add a D3 1000 mg. and one Omega 3 (1000 mg) to your daily vitamins, (the kind that are caps with kind of gel in them are better to take, easier to digest on your stomach so they're more easily absorbed).
If you don't take a daily womens multivitamin, add that also. You'd be surprised how deficient most Americans are in d3 and omega 3. In one study, omega 3 helped people more with depression/anxiety than a prescribed antidepressant did..
For D3 we need sunlight in order for our body to be able to make the D3 we need, and in the last 2 decades we all have been getting out in the sunlight so much less due to cellphones/laptops/internet use. Without sunlight we can not make D3 and achiness, fatigue, depression result without enough of it.
Once I added these thingsI came out of a bad mental fog and strted being able to feel motivated to make some progress, I had been utterly lacking in my ability to just think well. So if you don't take those try it a few weeks and just see if it helps.
@@KathyHussey063 always remember to add K2 in with D3 as they work together to hugely benefit us while the K2 balances D3's effects on our use of Calcium
@@KathyHussey063 Excellent idea!
I grew up with a pair of violent sexual predators. One was a narcissistic psychopath. The other was a raging alcoholic. Every adult in my life was mentally disturbed & children of parents who grew up in the Great Depression. I can remember my grandfather walking behind a horse, plowing the garden. Any word spoken wrong could elicit a backhand or sarcasm that sliced the soul. Women & children were chattel. I read a lot about Nazis as a kid, dreamt of them because I felt I was in a concentration camp.
I turn 70 next year and I
am just beginning to realize what I lost over the years because of my fears. I
These types of family situations are awful. If you're interested, try Daily Practice. It is a great way to process fears and resentment. You can find the free course here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
I was traumatized in my childhood by an abusive father, physically and emotionally. I was stuck in anger for years. At the beginning, the anger helped me to react and win the battle against him. But, as I was stuck in it, it became a poison in my heart, and I couldn't find a way out. When semeone told me one day I had to forgive, I was devastated, because I thought that to forgive is to say the trauma is OK. My father died, I couldn't confront him anymore. I didn't understand that my anger didn't accomplish any justice, but was just a poison attacking my own heart. It took me ages to agree with stopping accusing. One day, I understood what is to forgive (and what it is not) and I did. I prayed to forgive my father, because I didn't want him to win. Since I forgave, my life changed, I was supprised to see a change in my relationship to people, without this wall of anger in my heart.
I didn’t realize I had to take steps to heal until I joined adult children of alcoholics & I have so much hope for myself now. I always just thought time would heal things which proved to be untrue every year, but I guess I just kept waiting
I feel like I am giving up. Wishing I would be dead already. I will listen to this.
I am trying everyday but not feeling any better. I am extremely isolated.
Just remember your not alone
I’m sorry
I understand you
When no one else is there for you pray..God WILL hear you. I pray fot you in Jesus name Amen
Please say that you will keep trying to heal. it would help me to keep on trying to.
This is so good. I'm taking notes. I just finished the first 44 minutes and taking a break. There's much to absorb. This is incredibly helpful. Best counseling session I've ever had. So grateful Anna. Thank you❤
God bless you powerfully.
I’m taking notes too❤️ So much to learn.
Anna, you are SO good and this is SO helpful! At age 52, my priority is finally getting HEALTHY!
I’ve never found anyone I felt safe enough with, or not judged by, to open up about my traumas…i learned a long time ago to put on an act and idk how to stop 🕊️
Atm, group therapy is the worst place because I compare myself, then degrade myself, if others have it worse and I need to just “suck it up” as my mother always tells me
I hear you.
Keep watching as much CCF as you can... marinate yourself in whatever video piques your interest. You will "see" things as you've never seen them before! Once you see something, you cannot unsee it... you will become aware. Then you'll find more CCF direction which will provide tools for your change from old subconscious triggers and patterns of response growing into new conscious reactions and responses.
As you figure your unconscious self out, you will surprise yourself with the release, the lightness, you'll feel. and one day you will hear yourself laugh out loud in joy...
I hear you. However in the pain of that know there IS HEALING. I would say if therapy is not for you find a different therapist
I am in an ananon program. Have b en for three. Years. By working the 12 steps, I have earned victory from victimization and a tool box to use in times of trouble. I must say though the primary strength producing relationship is my life is with my HP whom I choose to call GOD.
29 & just learning about this within myself. Was misdiagnosed as bipolar at 16 so your videos have been helpful!
That’s exactly how I feel. I started thinking perhaps I’m misdiagnosed with bipolar.
19:46 Victor Frankl, a psychiatrist and concentration camp inmate, told a story where a rumor went through the camp that the Allies would arrive at a certain time and liberate them. A surge of optimism went through the camp. Then the date came and went, and the Allies didn’t come, and a large number of the inmates wound up succumbing to their wounds and infections and deconditioning and simply died.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick (Provebs 13:12)
Im currently in school for Psychology because of individuals such as yourself. You have helped me a lot, and inspire me to stay in school. I hope to be as awesome as yourself and help others who want to help themselves and help others. Thank you
Wow, that's amazing! Thank you so much for sharing, I'll make sure Anna reads this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
What I attract has nothing to do with what I attach to. 💥💥💥💥💥
BOOM!
I have started putting boundaries, started the daily practice and meditate, doing a full time job which is nice in general, stopped people pleasing a lot, less critisizing people, supporting financially my parents which I have done it a lot of times (even if they were abusive and neglectfull to me because I honor them and still love them, my father was an alcoholic abusive and neglectful person and my mother was the opposite very caring and full of love but toxic too in a lot of ways),left an abusive relationship, started saving money which I had to do it for a long time, stopped overspending, started noticing red flags in people and potential partners and not even getting involved with them started taking care of myself as much as I can and all these things arent enough. I am so disregulated that I cant feel fullfillment from all these things. I know that I am a strong person otherwise I wouldnt do all these things, but sometimes I feel hopeless and helpless. I am now saving money to join your membership or your courses probably in winter. I cant thank you enough for your help, your courage and your passion to help other people. I feel that you are like a friend-and proper mother figure I never had. Its so relieving to think that we are not alone in our path even if they are different in a lot of ways even if our experiences are also a lot different and what a relieve to connect with people who are wounded but still unique, good hearted and admirable. I feel that I need to say this at everyone struggling with trauma. You are not alone, you are strong, you are capable of great things, life is long take as much time as you need for your healing except if its something dangerous, stand up again when you fall. You deserve everything good in this life, you are born to receive love and give love. Stay strong put your armour and fight.❤❤❤❤
I send your words right back at you dear ! Write them up and put it on your fridge, say them outloud every day. WE CAN CHOOSE a different future, a different today by choosing to love ourselves correctly, nurture ourselvess and be a good example to other women on how to be good to our own selves instead of just trying to mae everyone else happy all the time. WE an be our own cheerleader and biggest fan and find a wealth of comfort in that self cmpassion and acceptance of US. You deserve your own support dear, so give it to yourself and thank you for sending out your good message tous.
I have lived a lot of your talks. I can only pray for the people that have taken advantage of me. God will set me free. I will go work my bucket list. Later.
I am ( always) nice!!!. People take that as stupidity 😔🙃 I wish I could change that. I've been threw hell..... & Other's r rude, crude, & very unapologetic!!!!. Y, I ask...... I'm always, there for anyone who needs it...... ( But.) I'm changing allllll of that. I will always, always b kind. That's me. But. Hard core// NeVER....... GONNA HAPPEN.........🦋🙏
I have been watching you for quite a while and have benefited from your wisdom, I struggled with my husband's narcissism for 20 years, but in the past year after moving to Panama, I really focused on my healing and helping him to understand his adoption trauma. He would get better, but it only lasted a few days. Finally, he agreed that he suffers from depression, as I do. however. I have been taking meds for years. He finally agreed to take the same thing I take and he is a changed man. I honestly was on my last nerve because of his emotional abuse and had asked him to leave, but we can't afford to live apart. I realize this isn't a typical outcome, but it's working for us. We now have a very good relationship. He even did much better on a job interview and he's expecting a call back next week. Thankfully the antidepressants we take don't require a prescription in Panama. Moving here a year ago was the single best thing we have ever done together and the meds are now making it even better. The pace is so much slower and the weather is perfect. Thank you for your continued help.
What medication helped you]? Antidepressant didn't work for me
wow I wonder how .many of us are on antidepressants? I Have a theory that people like us with crappy childhoods are depleted of serotonin much earlier than most, due to the stress of dealing with triggers. I have no mental energy at all without them, I'm a zombie. So, why did you choose Panama? I dream of relocating.
@@taghazoutmoon5031You can go for St Johns’ Worth oil, a simple oil infusion otc. Warning, if you are on birth control pills, the 2 donot mix.
Thank you! This may be the most important video I've ever seen. It's like the Fairy pulled out the deep, damaged parts of my psyche, lovingly and clearly described them, and outlined healthy tools for their soothing and healing. Just, wow!
My Daily Practice: What hurts the most is the shunning. and how all involved have no remorse but with a sense of entitled rightteousness in secrecy half truths no legitimate answers to my questions. betrayal and not a thought about how it affected and effects me to this day.
I am 60 now and have been traumatized since 2 yrs old "don't tell mommy" etc ..in my 20' - 30's flashbacks I began to realize the beginnings of it. sexual inappropriateness a bad diorce drugs both me and mother onto my HIV diagnosis 2 failed marriages hard things later Domestic viollence very severe "multiple strangulations , gaslighting , police involvement destruction of my home etc." entire "family' both sides.. used this tragedy against me and deemed me unfit to own my own house even though no mortgage to pay.. Giving my POWER up.. ( I had the the properties in my mothers name - for reasons HIV meds and 2nd not wanting my husband entitled to 1/2 it was my money fully not any portion of it his or my mother. )..b/c they didn't approve of my lifestyle in my late 40's they cut out me of the family after demonizing me with gossip. . I had purchased a bldg in Bklyn sold it and then a house in LI free and clear.. . even sold/stole my property I had bought myself behind my back. and even cut me off my inheritance from Grandmother - mother. and put a clause in the will I am not to buy property she gave my house over to LLC then to sister children in Trust funds set up from this sales. and my 2nd cousin 2x removed is in charge of her Trust given by my mother which I am beneficiary - meaning the little they didn't steal from me she has ownership of it and I have ask and give reason why I need something. and can cut me off at anytime for any reason b/c it's her money now. and the are just fine with that furthermore they do not communicate to me more than needed 'professionaly" not hello how are you nothing.. they do not deny but they do not acknowledge. *With "family" like mine .. Who needs enemies?* Psa 23:5 He preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: ... *and despite this, The Lord has provided for me and has never left me HIs Son has shown me the Father. Isa 46 :4 And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you. (thank you for allowing me to this space) I am learning much from your content.
I had an event happen 2 months ago at work that sent me into a full on mental breakdown and my CPTSD came with full force. I’m worried about being able to work again once my medical leave is over. I feel like a huge failure at life. Middle aged and broke. It feels like I will never recover.
I totally understand this . I’m so sorry but I completely get it
4 years ago, I realized that I suffer from CPTSD. Once I realized this, I took steps to rid my life of toxic relationships. I only found your videos yesterday when trying to figure out how to reconnect with people in a healthy way. After listening to a couple of your videos, I was finally able to put a name to a feeling I've gotten all my life when I'm in the presence of certain people or situations. It's a rush of adrenaline through my heart. For literally 40+ years, I thought the feeling meant that I was excited or needed to act on something. But after hearing you talk about recognizing triggers, I realized that every time I've had this feeling, it's because I was being triggered. The feeling only ever comes when I'm around a toxic person or in a situation i had no business being in. Up until 4 years ago, I didn't know toxic people existed. I didn't know that I was toxic. I didn't recognize my own destructive behavior. I just thought I was living life my way. I'm so happy to understand what this feeling is now. Now, when I feel it, I'll know and trust that I'm experiencing a trigger and make better decisions on how to act. I just recently took a step back from a budding friendship when I realized that I was being emotionally manipulated. I'd get that rush feeling around this person. Now I know I need to keep her at a distance. I don't really know what a healthy friendship is. At 50 years old... at least I know now what a healthy friendship is not. I'm off to take in several hours of your videos now. I think they'll help me to have tools to move through this world more successfully. Thank you so much. Btw, I get that triggered rush feeling when I check responses to my comments, so I don't do this anymore either. If you respond to this comment, I won't see it, but hopefully the comment and any responses might help others. Thanks again.
What resonatef with me most is the self-sabotaginge i have been doing regards to being stuck in a rutt for lack of self confidence and and, willpower and motivation
Hi!! I just wanted to thank you for your professionalism, your calm way of teaching, and your realness! You are a great teacher!!!!!
Thanks so much 😊
I am a therapist and love your content.
I just want to express how eye opening and transformative these videos are for me. Thank you!
I'm so happy to hear that! Thank you for taking the time to comment :)
-Calista@TeamFairy
you add a lot of value with this channel, so thank you. Just wanted to add that the reason “self medicated” is a widely used term now is because it is less stigmatising than “drug addict” or “alcoholic”. The stigma of using substances to cope with trauma just adds so much more shame to the equation and makes it even harder to seek help and when you seek help sometimes the help can see you through the lens of being a dirty drug addict and make things worse. I don’t think people are using the term to make light of their coping behaviours it’s to have less stigmatised terms
Thank you! I feel like my emotional intelligence and coping mechanisms improved after watching your videos often. May good fortune and abundance come to you!
Oh, my gosh! I just have to share this. I've watched about 80% of your stuff over about 3 years on top of decades of fortunate recovery work, and now I am good to go. The finishing touch is self talk. Present positive confessions. Highly effective. But we have to believe what we are saying, and that is where a loving spiritual presence comes in. Someone gave me a book about it.
Hi, Anna. I have just recently found your channel and am finding these videos so helpful. I went through counseling due to a dx of Bipolar Disorder II and learning to accept that I had a Very Crappy Childhood. I have healed already in so many ways, but this particular one really hit home. 35 minutes in I had to take a breather. I recognized how much work I still had to do, but you're helping to lead the way. I appreciate all the time and effort you put into this work. Thank you SO much!
You got this! We're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I never criticized people. There is good and bad in all walks of life. Even friends make fun of you. Putting you down. I have never put someone's body, face, teeth, weight, religion, ethnicity, economic status, decisions, english, speech, habits, appearance, interests, job, car, or style down. No one has that right. People "joke" too much and I am tired of it. Grow up. We are suppose to lift each other up and encourage one another. If you see someone going through a marital crisis, help them to stay committed unless they are in jeopardy. Use your voice to lead someone out of danger and protect their lives.
Oh man. Last year I went septic from a giant kidney stone & needed surgery and a hospital stay. Just found you this morning and feel like that's happening to my soul and emotions🤧🤒🤕 It's good, the soul infection needs to go! But it doesn't feel great. But it feels good, because finally doing something! Thank you! Did my first daily thing this morning. Once I got thru it, I did feel better. It's like I'm under a giant pile of pebbles. Gotta remove one or two at a time, then will be properly better!
Great analogy about the pebbles. Congratulations on your first Daily Practice! Julie@TeamFairy
Ouch! I used to have kidney stones (oxalates of calcium - I love cheese) and although I have never needed surgery for them, I still distinctly remember how painful they were. Less than a paroxystic episode of sciatica but close. I haven't had any stones for a dozen years now, I am still eating a lot of cheese, what seems to have helped is that I started to test my vitamin d levels (or rather, my gp started testing them), we found out I was severely deficient, so I started supplementing, and not only has it made a massive difference to my flares up of auto immune diseases and seems to have helped to keep my cancer cells dormant so far (fingers crossed) but the renal colics are gone! I think the vitamin d may help calcium to be absorbed by the bones, when it would otherwise end up in the circulation, and then would be filtered by the kidneys, and result in stones. At the time of that first vitamin d, I had hypercalcaemia too, which was frightening (it can be a sign of bones mets) but mri scans didn't show any bone mets, and once I got my vitamin d in the 'green' range (the range my doctors recommend is higher than what the lab recommends, it is similar to the range recommended in teh PhD diet) the calcium dropped back to normal figures.
I loved the image of the pebbles although I will adapt it and visualise brambles, mould...
This is a tough one, but a lot of times this type of healing requires us to re-examine our religious beliefs and how they might be affecting the way we show up in the world. Some traditions tend to emphasize a sense of sitting around and waiting for a rescue from a deity. I believe that spirituality can be a big part of healing, but I also think that coming into our own requires us to take a look at what we believe and decide very proactively what we want to take into the future with us.
Interesting perspective, very thoughtful.
It's makes me so so angry to watch ppl sit AROUND and wait to be rescued by some magical deity im spiritual but not religious TOO MANY RELIGIONS are don't question don't think LET ME THINK FOR YOU!!!! Tht belief set ppl up for ABUSE you should always be able to QUESTION AUTHORITY it's being sheep tht abusers look for obviously if your a child you can't get away or couldn't get away from abuse thts a different story but you must must actively fight against whoever or whtever is wanting to squelch who you are within reason
I must say I'm so grateful I am for your side passion project everyday. Since around April 26th when you're CCF channel popped up in my TH-cam premium feed for the first time. I was half assed listening to another channel while doing other things because I was physically busy I didn't pick a different channel when your first CCF video started next. You mentioned limerence. I felt immediately and sadly connected deeply to that word. I love reading and writing, correct spelling, good punctuation and knowing definitions. I had never even seen, let alone heard that word, but I immediately googled the definition of limerence. I had a heart wrenching but equally freeing life changing break through. I had messed up all my serious long term relationships that I had previously been in since I met him at 17 yrs old....for 20 yrs by that point.... by not being aware I had been in limerence with my (I thought was my life's deepest love and my best friend). I had been dissociating his shown red flags and telling me he loved me, just not in that way😢 I had a full body panic attack, rapid cycled through at least 3-4 different painful emotions for over 4 hours after first googling that words definition in the 1st video of yours I seen. It ( my C-PTSD, bipolar 1 brain, had been trapped in a 20 yr "one sided, delusional relationship" which meant it knew how to make him my limerent obsession, absolutely unconsciously aware of even the word limerence without me even knowing ?!?) Ugh. I was immediately rapid cycling through uncontrollable, tearful sobs and a river of tears... days later with rage, deep grief and embarassment😢 I had dragged him with me through my life, including all my long-term relationships with other men and a lifetime of friends and acquaintances (since the age of meeting him @ 17, I'm 38 now..🥺😭💔😩🤬😞🥴) showing him off like a shiny gold perfect trophy that was never even mine to show off !!!! I immediately realized that made me like a walking, magical thinking joke to them most of my life !!!!! So everyone else knew... including all my childhood friends, my mom, him and my only half sister... the whole time = 2 decades... EXCEPT ME.😩😞🥺😭🤬😭🤬😭🤬😩 BUT I AM AWARE NOW AND AS PAINFUL AS THAT'S BEEN ( went no contact with him and my only living relative (besides my 2 teens) my sister that day). He'll never be allowed back in my life (which still feels like to me, I lost my "best friend", I told him everything !!!!! Stuff I wouldn't tell anyone else but him, not even my own sis... because I thought he was who I could trust the most) and they both never told me the truth... even though they also both knew the sadness over it, especially after 20 yrs... was making me further drink myself slowly to death everyday, all day for many years by that point .. about over 6-7 yrs ago my sis just txt me " it's never gunna happen"..😭 THANK U FOR BEING HONEST U DROP THAT OBVIOUS TO ALL, BUT ME INFORMATION OFF TO ME FINALLY !?!?😭🥺😢 Since that day the veil was lifted completely from my mind's eye, I couldn't put my blinders up to block out the painful truths anymore. Since the point of meeting him.... he HAD told me at least 3 times, in different ways.... that he would never want me, like I did him😢... I had seen/heard several red flags about him I realized now I did immediately notice but blocked out without realising i could even do that or that LIMERENCE was even a word😢
Thanks though FAIRY !!!! SO glad I'm in on the joke now too and can't blick it out. Still flashing through the emotions of anger, grief and embarrassment daily. But now.. I'M AWARE & CAN'T BLOCK IT OUT. So finally decades later, now I'm getting the proper mental health help (talk therapy for many yrs to follow) I'll learn to process, accept, FINALLY let go of (= heal) these lifetime childhood trauma symptoms and that damn never ending looping negative mindset... Then I could actually find a man, who loves me too and settle down forever. That would have never been possible for me at all without your "side passion project" CCF, TH-cam channel making me aware of limerence 💯 I'm still deeply hurting, all alone, but also equally grateful for you and this CCF channel... I now get to accept it all too. Once healed, my real dreams can actually come true now... thank YOU & CCF so much !!!!!!❤ I'm so grateful for you and I love this channel and it's community for life now😊🙏 God bless you. Amen❤
Incredibly well expressed! I too have had a limerence situation, which is now totally exposed to me thru Anna's CCF.
Thank you, Anna!
I truly understand the myriad emotions you've gone through... I have only recently become aware of limerence at the end of a very intense 5-year relationship with a person I felt was a true soulmate.
"Once you see it, you can never unsee it!"
Healing the limerence situation externally was instant... internally, not so fast.
It's a well-established unconscious pattern established in my crappy childhood.
I am now consistently redirecting the subconscious impulses of that old negative limerence pattern, taking advantage of brain neuroplasticity to actually physically rewire a new pattern of conscious response in my brain, with a "Stop, Annie! Now, choose a conscious, more aware, reaction to this unconscious limerence trigger!"
I now know how to program myself into a much healthier choice of reaction. Habit creation! Thank you to Dr Caroline Leaf 🍃
The higher is the one that can always go to in prayer, by the way I truly believe that I was able to come across your videos. Thank you Anna and obviously that the Lord for these healing pathways. I've been able to make sense out of my issues. Thank you so much for your energy. I wish you much success for using it for tge good of people in these circumstances which you speak of.
I understand myself after finding you. Thanks for your work!
Welcome!
Love the "release them" rubber band analogy.
This is incredible you are nailing it. Nailing it.
I just want to say that you have been a source of immense support for managing and dealing with the extreme effects of the abuse in my life.
Thank you for sharing all this.
That was amazing.❤. Sending warmth and love to the author of that letter!
It feels like you're having a conversation with the inside of my mind. Incredible insights.
Awesome clear simple truths... great work for us!
I am changing thanks to you and many other coaches who have helped me in my journey of healing.
I love you so much Anna 😊
Im only into the 2nd video of yours and it confirmed to me that the mental health diagnosis I have been given and have always thought were wrong are wrong!!! So much of what you were saying are the exact sympt
oms I have given several doctors/ psychiatrist and have been given depression medication most of my adult life which I definitely did not need I'm 52 years old I truly wish when I was 18 we had internet and your videos. My life would have probably been more on the happy spectrum! I have four children who all need to watch your videos also because I can see I have caused all of them see PTSD
Another excellent message. Thanks again, I’m so glad that I discovered you.👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
😊 whoa here woman, you are making sense of so many things that I have learned through the years. Don't stop.
This is golden diamonds of information.
Thank you-
Thank you so much.
Phenomenal. Thank you for having the courage to share.
Thank you Anna for speaking such truth in such a loving way !!❤
the Daily Practice is AWESOME !!
Bless you - BLESS you! - for making these videos available to the general public. You are quite literally saving lives.🙏🏼
Not a fairy, but an Angel. 🌹
My body hates changes in surfaces because of medical issues but I see what you mean and why it’s important.
Probably one of Anna’s best videos.
You are so kind, i love all your videos.
I am going to take your advice and start the daily practice.
You are so talented and compassionate
Thank you I just watched tow of your other videos and so much going wrong in my life makes more sense now. You are amazing.
Im so glad I found your videos. You are an angel, not a fairy in my eyes. Thank you for your help.
Your work and videos are amazing. You give us a voice and courage to face ourselves. Thank you so much
I have (and am) learned so much from you and a few others. I started this year by deciding that it's my year to work on my mental health. One thing I found helpful was learning what my body type is (through channels on youtube for free) and how to dress for it. When I looked better, I felt better and when I realized how to properly dress my body, I could buy less and still shop at value village. Anna Bey (Oh, I wonder if it's thing about "Anna's", you guys are helpful? lol) is one lady I've learned a lot from. My personal style is not elegant, but I have elevated my style and it has helped to make me feel better about myself. Have a wonderful day and thank you for sharing your insight. God bless you and your family and everyone here.
I came upon your videos and have been learning so much. I love listening to your messages and perspectives on past traumas. I've been focusing on working on myself and healing and thank you for your videos
Such fantastic information. I absolutely love this channel. It's like a friend is passing on absolute truthful and helpful information for dealing with CPTSD. Thanks for all you do 🙂
Anna, your video's are a saving grace to so many!!! Thank you for being so open & revealing of your past traumas. You present yourself credibly, and we can connect & have hope of saving ourselves from self-inflictions, whatever they may be. Reading the comments on this video, along with your other videos, I feel the connection, bonding & much love from your followers. I am just exactly like them. I'm in a severe stuck/frozen mode & self isolating. It's really a bit REDICULOUS, actually. But I am aware of it, and that's a good thing! I just need to get up off the sofa & move. Move. Move. Move!!! You have shared you Blessings with us.
May you feel LOVED & BLESSED ALWAYS!
I've listened to this video several times. Hits too close to home every single time.
But I'm listening...
Thank you Anna!! You have helped me so much!!
The best video on this topic bar none on TH-cam with very practical solutions to help people.
so good. I feel better after just a week of listening to her. So grateful.😢
Good encouragement I really need this very helpful with friendship relationships.
Dearest Anna, thank you so so so so much for putting out this incredibly valuable and nowhere-else-to-be-found content! Even just listening to you helps me heal and put things into perspective. I feel so much love and gratitude for you🙏☀️🌸🥰❣️❣️❣️
This is a wonderful video!!! Very helpful!!!
Yes!! I agree about coping and I would argue we all have them with CPTSD!!!! I would also say that you tell people not to fixate on the problem, but first you got to see that there is a problem outside of you. That’s like the first thing and healing to discover and to get over that shock.
I did without so long and it got worse when I finally felt great about myself (started after he tore me apart!) then became addicted to that self love but it wasn’t self love…it was addition as a sub for my needing to be loved.
Money is power and yes my guy friend said money doesn’t matter!!! It does matter!!!!! We need that to stay in our power for choices for self care!!!
Thus is excellent , thank you for this powerful, straightforward list.. I find thus encouraging!❤
Thank you so much for your work and this video❤ There are so many great like skills discussed here. May all who need this find it! I love you for helping me feel better 🎉
This has been a favorite segment. I like how you list habits I feel a strong connection with the instincts of balance and you really do have a beautiful heart very helpful when it comes to things like addiction and self talk.
Playing this every day in my household until everyone listens to it and hears you. Day 1. This is my first day actually realizing things as they are for a fact with no denial. I need to do the work every single day.
The work continues. …started a new job for which I am overqualified. I figured I have to rejoin the workforce somewhere. And I have just 12 years more to work. Well, who knew REtramatization could happen! So many triggers have me experiencing CPTSD again. Was describing some of the things I’ve experienced and how these made me feel. Wow-took me back over 30 years! These videos are helping me get back on track. Thank you for what you do!
We're all rooting for you! -Calista@TeamFairy
I hope all works out for you. I’m in the same position. Working an entry level job when I’m in my 50’s. I’m glad to see someone that looks like me in this YT sector. Praying for All! 🙏🏽
I love you so much ! 😭🎉💐
Thank you for helping us.
Thank you! Thank you. Thank you. This video is so helpful and encouraging with actionable steps. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me and the world. ❤
Thank you so much! What you shared in your videos usually are very relevant to me and my situation, but this one in particular - especially the part almost at the end, I feel that it's meant for me. Growing up in poverty, ackwardness in situation and even office lunches, I experienced all that. It's a good reminder too that children who grew up in poverty need help building their confidence and social skills. Thank you thank you thank you!!! ❤❤❤
I didn’t even know that I had this problem, but it explains so much. Thank you.
Its crazy how much i identified with pretty much everything you mentioned on this video. Got me really thinking I got cptsd from my childhood. Im gonna try that survey :)
Thank you for not skirting around our ability to take radical ownership of ourselves.
Anna, You are so gifted in articulating this vast kit 'n kaboodle; and are a stellar exemplar of walking the recovery walk. Thank you so much.
I agree with the Fairy, you need tools for emotional dysregulation. Don't let others trigger you. Atay in xontrol and just don't care. People don't care that's why they have flat expressions and very little emotion. It's better to be cold hearted and closed.
This is brilliant! Thank you so much!