Here's the Mindset and the Process for Healing Problems Caused by Past Trauma
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 เม.ย. 2023
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With SO many approaches to changing your life, what's the best way forward for people who experienced trauma as children, and are still held back by CPTSD symptoms? In this "best of" compilation, I teach about the mindset and the step-by-step process that helps you heal from the neurological injury of trauma, the emotional wounds and the psychological barriers that sometimes trap traumatized people within trauma-driven problems.
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I walked away from a 40 year bad friendship 3 yrs ago
Best thing I ever did for myself. I'm 66 and I'm done with bad people.
After 32 years I ended a"friendship." It was more of a user-ship. I had it 4.5 months ago. She attempted to add me as a friend on Venmo of all places, Yesterday. I am done at 57. Me first from now on.
As a woman I feel I’m running out of time. I can’t bear the thought of having children because I’m not healed. And yet I don’t think I’ll be healed in time to start the process. Turning 40 this year and feeling grief in advance for the next years to come.
So much healing has happened in my 40's, you are on your way :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Me too 😢
This is real. I feel the same.
Even not having enough time to have children because our bodies cannot bear after a certain age 😵💫.
The fact that you're ALREADY thinking like a "Momma Bear" and Concerned about the betterment of 'involving your Children' (who are NOT even born yet) speaks volumes of what kind of conscious Momma you would be to them.
Besides once your aware of where the s*it feelings are coming from, its hard not to STOP and THINK, BEFORE saying or doing anything that could possibly cause any damage..to them or anyone else.
And if your in the habit of checking your emotions as they arise, which inevitably it WILL become a habit, (Being self aware).. Your going to be a much better Momma than MANY Many Mothers out there .
I hope that I am making sense-as I read over it again, it seems to be a difficult read?. I Do hope that you understand what I'm stating.
Please just
Acknowledge the rich sentiment of "you not being able to Bare the thought.".
You are a Momma Bear already and that strength will ALWAYS protect your children, even from yourself.
I hope that you don't hold yourself back from living the beautiful, miraculous life that you were given because of what others have done. F*k them. Regain yourself. Be a Momma Bear to that Child inside. You want her to live her life to the fullest don't you? Don't give your power away.. its those butterflies in your stomach! The goosebumps on your arms, its the hairs alerting you on the back of the neck, listen to all the answers you are innately born with. We just couldn't act on those answers as children when the "perp" took it upon themselves to convince that child of something that was against the grain. You were right to feel "off"about what happened to you, your always right, Always believe in her, don't question her, she's waiting for you to let her be herself again, so that she can guide you through other People's BS AND bad situations or bad choices.. so, Build her up, love her deeply and then give her a big hug n kiss everyday and then kick her out of the house, to go get everything this magnificent (finite) life has to offer and wants to give to her, effortlessly & peacefully. Stand with yourself as a child in wonderment as children are supposed to be and she will stand with you as a woman who trusts herself ,loves herself & envelopes life's innate answers to everything, everyone, every circumstance. And doesnt question the answers your brain n body are giving you each n everyday. Take all the good life has to offer..have minimal regrets in the end.
The past is dead.
And it's been killing you too.
Be. Just be.
Human Being just being.
I'm done.
(I think I was refreshing myself with all that too..)
I hope you feel better 😊
I do..I got my big girl pants on again..😊😂
Go git em.
This woman is saying such PRACTICAL and helpful information. It took me DECADES to figure these things out through prayer and spiritual direction. I hope that young people who had bad childhoods are watching these videos and taking this lady's words to heart because she's nailing it time after time. If you are young and hear yourself in the behaviors she's describing, by all means GET TO WORK as soon as possible. I only wish it had not taken until my fifties to make these discoveries and get beyond these attitudes - thinking that 'later' I will make all the right choices and have the ideal life; or letting people who are long dead still 'pull the trigger' instead of seeing MYSELF as the one who can choose to be triggered or not! Letting myself have nice clothes, nice things, nice experiences is OK - spending money on myself is OK. It was only in 2019 that I learned about narcissists and why I seem to be a narc-magnet - and to realize that It's OK for me to ghost a narcissist and feel GOOD about being rid of that kind of person in my life. Sorry for the ramble, but SHE'S RIGHT. LISTEN to her! Don't wait! Let your life begin!
Thank you so much. I'm actually 57 and this is a new discovery to find out why I'm such a mess. I was only afraid I couldn't heal because I spent so many years messed up. You've really encouraged me.
Yes, she makes total sense. It took me 61 years to realize. I am so grateful for the information and guidance. Thank you, Anna.
I'm 66 and just beginning to understand this!!
Amen sister! I'm 55. Anna nails it!
I totally agree & can relate in my 50’s too 👵🏼…BUT -it’s NEVER TOO LATE ….to enjoy our life until we go home 🙏😇🤍 🕊️ amen ✝️❣️
I think healing is a lifelong project....
Absolutely!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I really like that your main focus is on helping people get free. You don't push for donations or membership subscriptions, and you offer real help that doesn't require money - just time and commitment.
💯 some people just go over the symptoms for an hour without a grain of advice, you have to sign up to some course or book a private session just to even see if its right for you... she is very generous ❤
I feel like the older I get, the more I isolate myself. My youth is gone, I wasted it focusing on all the wrong things and now I just feel like I putter through my days in depression waiting to leave this place. Never have belonged here....I'm exhausted from trying to fix me with no real gain, only that I see it all to clearly in myself. The abuse I experienced as a child at the hands of my mother and abandonmentof my father are locked down, I cannot imagine being different for every time I try, the mask comes off and I die a little more. I'll never trust people again with that kind of vulnerability....never.
Better u ketamine therapy less than 500 it'll change your life if eligible
Wow exactly how I have been feeling . But I’m really trying to make a change and find my happiness because it does come from with in . Your not going find happiness you have to create it . Which I’m having a hard time . But I’m not going to give up and I hope you don’t give up too . Just do what you love and be your true self .
You’re not alone. I’m in the same sinking boat. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be kind to another and love another. There is where the hope lies.
I Understand! I have such Fear of Life. I had to start with..”Relax and Breathe.” 😊❤
I was just the opposite. My childhood and young adulthood I loved to the fullest, now I too isolate more. I think it's normal with aging. You are experiencing a new season for yourself. Focus on you! Not others anymore.
Thank you! You are the first online coach/ therapist that articulates cptsd in a way that is real with practical , doable steps to heal a person! I just want to say a BIG Thank you!!! ❤❤
I was bulimic from 16 to 22. Anorexic from 22 to 30. Got clean. Got help. Helped myself by researching topics like yours. Thank you
I'm so glad you were able to recover! Thank you for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I was in similar cycle from 20-30 years old with eating disorders and never understanding why.
Counseling made me worse…but I did that for years because I was told it was how to get better.🤷♀️
I could tell counselors were at a lose for what to do so they put me on meds. I knew inside of my spirit that there was more and I just needed to get to it but had no idea how.
I’m a Christian and leaned into Jesus.
If I’m very honest I will tell you I was a bit let down by the Church not at all putting anyone down but I really was needing some help.
The people were trying to do what they could and I appreciated the effort. I just was convinced that I was just TOO MUCH for everyone. 😔that lead me down the road of addiction and alcoholism to self medicate and try to blend into some kind of life.
In hind sight I know now I was trying to regulate my nervous system and stop feeling like I was just a pain in the 🐴to everyone.
Crazy to say that and I know now thankfully ( I thank God for Anna and her strength and generosity to share what works for her)! I’m not completely out of the woods but I’m seeing the trail out now! 🙏❤️I have signed up for a year of courses from her and I’m struggling to get through the first month due to my life’s situation from my poor (crap fit) choices. However I’m not going to stop 🛑 I’m going to keep going because I believe this is the first thing that has actually immediately started to make things better!
I hope you will continue to learn from Anna’s experience and get more healing as well. This journey is a big one but we got this Sister! I hope you get encouraged by knowing your not alone and I’m pulling for you and may God truly bless you and yours and give you a big hug and fill you with His peace! 🥰🙏❤️
@@shawnie2027 ❤️ 💝 💛
Awesome. I'm proud of you. Keep moving forward.
Same with the anorexia. I am just now realizing I have that relationship anorexia. I gave up 20 years ago.
The collapsing part triggers me. I think it’s totally okay to quit relationships to people who are not good for me.
Thank you so much for making this video. I've just recently become awear of some childhood emotional abuse (covert) and the possibility that I may also so have some Childhood PTSD. I can really relate the the Comment you read, I had a similar thing happen a few days ago:
I was having coffee with a friend, we were chatting happily about stuff we were both interested in and she was sharing stuff about her life. Then later I started telling her about the work I'm doing on building my new business and immediately her eyes started to drift off.. It was an instant trigger for me because it confirmed the belief I have about myself that no one is interested in what I have to say and that I'm "boring". Instead of shutting down, I excused myself, went to the bathroom, had a cry, came back and gently asked her the direct question "when I talk about my buisness, do you find it boring?" I told her that I asked because I don't want to make assumptions about these things anymore because it causes me to shut down and I don't want to do that because I value our friendship too much for that. She told me she goes quite when listening to things being said that she's not sure how to contribute to but she's still listening. It cleared the air and we continued to have a nice time. I actually went home feeling happier than before.
You will get more respect from actions than from words
So don't get too hard on yourself or anyone if they aren't listening to what you say.
I believe she was doing the right thing there. When you think about it, to listen, we need to go silent, let that person have the floor. Perhaps she can concentrate better on the content if she were to look away from you- and just listen on... Many times ppl do that.
I'm glad you asked her after your cry, bc it turned out she was infact listening the whole time. The only thing I would watch for is how long you keep a person listening, and also if there acting like your a burden, or it's a burden to endure. These ppl are the ones you would do better to leave our of your loop. Finding someone who would mentor you in your work life and personal life is truly a blessing, if that were to ever transpire. But you don't need someone else to validate you- you just need someone who's chooses to honor you by truely listening. I think that she did.
Wow! I just recently had a therapist tell me to 'feel my feelings' instead of what I was doing, which was cleaning. 'Feeling my feelings' was not the problem, the problem was I was feeling 'too much'/overwhelmed. I am the one who decided to get back into meditation and using the cleaning as practice to manage my feelings. Mindfulness...especially for my pain management does not work and I've been having terrible insomnia this year, but I'm working on it. This past month I've been triggered more than I have in years. In my experience with an alcoholic parent, which was my father, he was never mean, everyone loved him as he was funny, helpful and the life of the party. However, his drinking caused a lot of unhappiness for my mother, who was the mean angry one and took it out of my sister and me. Luckily, the physical abuse stopped when we were teens, but the partying was non-stop for several years...for the entire family. I did not understand until I was in my 40's that not all kids were exposed to the kind of drinking that we had been exposed to. My parents divorced when I was 17 and my mother moved out, so I was left to take care of my alcoholic father, as my younger sister left too. My sister and I both grew up and married addicts and alcoholics. I'm divorced (twice)now and been doing the deep work for 6 years, which is a very long story due to me allowing my ex (alcoholic boyfriend after divorce) to bread crumb me for 3 years. I shut that down finally. It took me a long time to understand what I want, what I need and what I deserve. Just to be clear, we have a very close relationship with our mother now. We understand that her childhood trauma (she was one of four sisters sexually abused by her father) deeply affected her, as my father's childhood beatings affected him. Our father died of cancer 15 years ago. My mother has profusely apologized. I am now working on healing ancestral trauma.
Sending healing streams of grace to you
@rowanstarling3816 Thank you for bearing your soul and sharing your story. I so appreciate your transparency and that of everyone else on this beautiful, healing platform. My heart goes out to you. "Bread-crumbing"...I need to remember that. I see where I failed to be a good partner. I feel like I keep recreating my parents' toxic relationship. No communication whatsoever.
I pray that you get to the place you want to be in your world. I pray it for myself and everyone else here, reading this.
Thank you and God Bless.
💔🙏💖= 🥰
Glad to see you break the generational trauma/abuse and hopefully healing from within
I'm working on eating healthier and have been going to Weight Watchers for a year.. and I have lost 50 pounds and I am proud of that achievement as well as all of the model car kits I have built successfully since I rediscovered the Model Car Building hobby 2 years ago ..
You’re practicing self-love! Keep it up, you’re worth it!
That'd awesome!
That’s such an achievement. Happy to read people’s success stories. I discovered Anime Model kits this year and working on them gives me a sense of peace and accomplishments.
Ketovore Dr. Palmer could help even more ❤ all the best for you
The tired/collapse thing is so real 😢
I'm so glad I caught this before I left to pick my daughter up from work. I'm downloading it and I can listen while I'm driving. Thank you for everything. ❤
Here’s what I do. I take the pause but then I don’t go back and talk about it. It is so painful for me to be unheard. And I have fear of the reaction of the other person
Me too. Same thing.
This is the second time I have felt the truth of what you have to say. I discovered your channel a couple of days ago. I have spent so much time feeling crushed by what I now realise is cptsd. I think that this was complicated by a PTSD causing event just as I reached adulthood. After thirty years I got some help with that event and I was so confused by the therapist starting with my childhood. Now it makes so much sense. The PTSD event was so huge that it became what I thought was my identity. What you speak of just rings true all of the time. It is a comfort to know that it is what's happening in my head that is the problem and that I can do something about it and it makes so much sense. I am starting the daily practise tomorrow. I don't know where it will take me but honestly I need to stop being so triggered. I need to be in charge of myself going forward because I have lost who I am and the ability to understand what I want and need from life. Exciting times.
I have completed the training for the practise and it is all I hoped for. I finally feel hope. I am so sorry to hear about the terrible thing that happened that started all of this. It is uncanny that this was a similar situation to my own. I am so glad I have found some help and that hope. I have been hanging on by the skin of my teeth for decades. Now I don’t feel the urge to let go. I want to soar.
@Stephen Costello
Loved "I need to stop being so triggered. I need to be in charge of myself going forward because I have lost who I am and the ability to understand what I want and need from life."🎯 Everything you shared resonated with me big time, and I just wanted to say, "Thank you". I am not always able to put my feelings to words. You said it very eloquently. 👍💯🙏
100% and me too.
I have the most difficult time listening to these videos. This video is the first one I've been able to listen to all the way through. It overwhelms me. I do have ADHD in addition to CPTSD. It just wears me out. I had prayed about where to begin, and this video showed up in my feed within 24 hours! I am going to attempt to use this in addition to the 2 different therapist I see weekly. *(I just started CBT last week.) I've been in talk therapy for almost a year because of my emotional dysregulation after my nephew and his friend*(of 5 days) were mur.dered by a stalker and I lost my peace, my job due to dysregulation, then Covid, then homelessness 3 times in 3 years. I am so very grateful for Anna and her Crappy Childhood Fairy assistants along with her experience, strength and hope. I hope for a better future going into my 60's. ❤
I’m finding healing attachment trauma so difficult. I can’t connect to anyone. No friends is hard because it’s hard. So I go to 12 steps for alcohol addiction but still lack confidence to do anything.
It is difficult but better in a group :) bit.ly/CCF-Membership
-Cara@TeamFairy
I have been searching for something like this for a long time. I was beginning to feel as though all hopes of living a happy, loving and normal, life were gone. I need the help. Crappy childhood fairy, you just might be my savior. I definitely do not feel all alone anymore. I just can't believe that I'm not an alien. You are 100% on the money. I'm 58 , it might be too late for me now. I'm just so tired and there is so much work that needs done. I find it overwhelming. I'm 58, maybe it's too late for me.
My focus is so bad that it took me an hour to write this message and that's not even the tip of the iceberg.
I made a list of what was reasonable to change, and started ticking things of. I've put in work, I struggle, I move forward, and as I achieve a goal I put a new goal. I started making five small achievable goals per day. Nothing outrageous but achievable, that gets me to my bigger goals. Each thing can make progress. It takes time, and patience
Now I understand why innocent remarks from certain types of people trigger me so much. Just a few hours ago ithappened again, and I just let it wash over me, that storm of feelings. It didn't kill me, I am still here, I don't need to run and hide, it's ok to stand still and feel the feelings without the world ending. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I had my first (only) baby at age 43. I cried & cried because I was SO scared of ruining her. She’s now ten years old. I still have my issues but I keep it real with her. I talk things out with her. She’s kind, understanding and forgiving. She has a waaaay better life than I did. She is an amazing, smart, kind, beautiful person. I want to be like her when I grow up. 😆 No parent is perfect but it does help if you are working on healing. Hugs. ❤
44:46 Oh my God, Anna, I have been blaming myself for EVERY mistake that I have ever made in my life!😢💔
I love Mr Rogers and go back to his songs sometimes when life sucks. “What do you do with the mad that you feel”, or “The very same people who are good sometimes are the very same people who are bad sometimes”.
This is really strange. When I first discovered your videos, they made me aware of my symptoms but also angry to a pint I had to stop listening.
Not anymore. I have no idea why. Couple of years later here I am again, so grateful for you, your words now feel like a blanket for my soul.
Maybe I'm finally ready.
Totally normal! So glad you were able to break through and join us :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you very much ❤️
Denial is paralyzing. Go through to ge❤t healthier
Thank you, at 63 I'm excited to start my journey to my healing place! You have been the first person that made sense to me on how I'm feeling! I'm soooo grateful for your channel! Thank you, thank you!
Yay! It’s so good to hear that! Thank you for sharing and good luck on your healing journey!
Nika@TeamFairy
This is so clarifying. I’ve had CPTSD and been dysregulated for a very long time, before I got on the right meds that regulate my emotions. I’m old now but seeing myself in the past so much more clearly, listening to this vid.
What meds work for you?
Just discovered your channel through Patrick Teagan… thank you for this opportunity to indulge in your wealth of knowledge, and heal my inner child and discover & embody my inner parent/adult. ❤️
The mindset that youve developed as a child makes it almost impossible to see what actually triggers you as you see the actions of other ppl being turned against you. You actually believe that people are rejecting you even if theyre not youre still triggered and you feel they do it because there is something wrong with you. I had severe depersonalization and derealization far over 10 years and the only thing that helped me to see the light and a way out was my therapist. She was an outsider, she didnt have the mindset I had so she could help me to navigate through experiences that I had percieved because she could see through my triggers. A lot of work has been done, Im still healing and sometimes its difficult to say when I am being triggered or people actually crossing my boundaries. I know its possible to break free but its a constant work through rewiring your thinking process and I am pretty sure its possible. I am still fighting and every day I feel its getting better. I wish everyone to heal themselves one day and live their authentic lifw where difficulties are percieved as an oportunity to constanly grow and feel better
It has been possible for many so why not you? Glad you are doing the work! You may find the free course Anna created beneficial too: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
-Cara@TeamFairy
I’m in my 50’s and I’ve been dysregulated my entire life. Is it too late for me to find balance and peace? I can’t stand being this way anymore and I can’t live like this anymore.
No, it's never too late.
You ARE stronger than you think. I'm 72 & finally figuring things out. It will happen.
Enjoy the journey.❤
What an epiphany !! I start dropping, knocking over, spilling, things! Especially when I am hurrying. Wow!
You hit me where it hurts in this one. In a good way of course. When you said the part about saying you can’t work because you’re healing or you’re too good for it… etc… That’s me 😔. I complain all the time about not having enough money to live on my own, and my mom says “Sydney you need to work like everyone else.” I just work three days a week because it’s like I can’t handle a regular schedule. I have three “side hustles” that bring in income every once in a while (selling vintage clothing, doing projections for musicians, and managing an AirBnB), but I don’t make enough money collectively to get my own place, and if I do, it’d be a room in a shared house which I hate. I say that I don’t want to work full time at the restaurant because I’m over the service industry and I need free time to have a healthy lifestyle and inner peace, but I have to make choices. Right now, at 25, I need a full time job. It just is what it is. I’m not making enough money with the other things I’m pursuing YET, so I need to be a big girl and up my hours at the restaurant. I hate realizing how self victimizing I truly can be.
Thanks for sharing! We're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I feel you on this one. I've been struggling on my own path of healing because I feel like work sucks up so much of my time. I've been doing a full time job that also requires an hour of travel every day, plus extra time after work to try to build up a new portfolio. All to tread water financially because I broke off a previous relationship (in which I had stayed too long, ugh lol) that was providing half of the rent. I feel genuinely burnt out and exhausted most days, so I always want to lean on that as an excuse to lose myself in a book and not put effort towards progress that day. However, I know that I'll only feel stuck for longer if I give in to that mindset. A lot of this stuff is easier said than done! I always hope that all this struggle with eventually amount to something better. I guess you sometimes have to add another rock to your pack before you can remove two the next day, so to speak. It'll get lighter eventually, but you may have to add a little more weight first.
"There is more to healing than just feeling" I like that. Your talks have helped me enormously with my childhood trauma. Thank you 🙏
You're very welcome. Glad you're here!
Nika@TeamFairy
I am 60 now and alone, no partner and sons live far away. Been in a traumatized state since youngest moved away and had total breakdown and nervous system completely disregulated to almost bedbound. I dont know what to do anymore. Body is so tired that exercise is too hard and exhausting. Constant state of fight flight. Am tying daily practice of writing. I have nobody to turn to. Feel at the end mentally and physically. Help needed thank you.
Keep at the Daily Practice and join a zoom call soon!
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy tell pls me about tge zoom calls - are those only for the subscribers? Are they at regular weekday times each week?
Sorry to hear this. I don't think you are alone. Life can be like this sometimes. I pray you can find relief and get some help.
54:00 I have never heard disregulation be described so accurately wow
I'm glad it was helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I'm working on connecting to others .. I actually feel more " normal" when I do connect to others...
At 73, your the first professional psychologist that can relate to CPTSD, that I know of. I believe I can learn more from you, than I have figured out on my own since early childhood. Thank you for sharing!
Anna isn't a psychologist actually. But we are so glad that you are feeling supported - there's more interaction available with Anna in the membership program bit.ly/CCF-Membership
-Cara@TeamFairy
Yay 🎉
🎉
Thank you Anna for all you do ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Suddenly, I'm making good money as easily as my peers always have. I'm way behind them but grateful.
Ever since I was finally able to get SSDI-(Social Security Disability Income) after fighting to get it for 15 years my financial situation is a lot more stable and that has helped a lot in my healing... And I can still work part time which helps for extra money too ...
Omg 15 yrs.? I was considering applying but I’m 72 and probably have only 15 yrs. left! Js
I'm a comfort eater, especially cakes so I make my own , add half spoon sugar and use less, use wholemeal flour and or oats and fruit, make healthy cake now I don't like stodgy shop made cakes.. it's not stopping eating sweet things but it's a step in the right direction
Anna, it feels good to listen to you for regulation. ❤
I am so grateful to have chanced upon your videos- I have been recently diagnosed with CPTSD and am educating myself on what this means for me. I have lived a life of Dysregulation and Triggers for years. I need to be the person I was meant to be- calm, firm, clear. To make a life I deserve.
You can do it because healing is possible! We're all rooting for you!
Nika@TeamFairy
19:17 I had to tell someone that I was getting aggitated based on the subject matter, that it wasn't them. I was just reacting to something that they know I get passionate about. And I got off of the phone. I was totally dysregulated. My whole body was shaking.
13:40 the good news!!! We (cptsd/adult children) can heal!!!
We can find space in the moment of trigger/flash back being conscious... we don't have to react in dysregulation! We now have agency to buy time and process. We can solve it now because we have done the work to deal with our past while we are regulated. We don't have to stuff our feelings and explode. We have agency over our nervous system now!
I loved this video !!! Thank you for spreading hope and shining a light on healing cptsd! 😊
I thank God for you Anna. Thank you for sharing everything you have learned and I want to say so much more to thank you…. I don’t have the words for how valuable these videos are to me. Thank you!
You have given words to my feelings
I've been marathoning your videos this week, feeling understood and learning more and more about the healing journey I need to take. Thank you! From Brazil. ✨🇧🇷
You got this! We're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I can relate to saying things I don't mean and doing things I don't want to do when I am dysregulated...
The first thing I needed to do was to get 💯 clean and sober. I was using things like benzodiazepines and alcohol as an escape from my CPTSD symptoms. I went to therapy for years, but I never made any progress until I got off the benzos and stopped drinking.
So proud of you!
I started noticing the past few days that I actually don’t really like someone who is a parent to one of my kids friends. I people please and fall into over sharing with her… even though I KNOW she isn’t safe/I don’t feel safe. I need to step back but it’s hard as even though I don’t feel safe the feeling unsafe is “comfortable”. if that makes sense? I don’t like it but I’m not sure how to take steps back.
I totally get it. I do the same thing. My mouth opens and I can’t stop myself.
Every human is different. Do never forget. Something might work for some and not for others. Ive tried ALOT of things. I do have C-PTSD + many addons. There will never be a certain way to heal for everyone since we are all different. Best way is to find the way that works for you, and you really try and fail. Never give up! And always remember my brothers and sisters: You are not alone! ❤
I have been home since the beginning of April with sciatica and could barely walk.
This has also caused a return to my spiritual life where I used utube to guide with some of my prayers.
In between one of those sessions, I saw you and have been up for hours listening.
At LAST! A light. Always knew that something was missing...and here you are and the answers I've always
looked for...
How is the sciatica? I had it for awhile. It was terrible. Dr's tried to force surgery on me but I resisted. I continued to pray, walk and stretch when I could and it finally went away. Wishing you quick recovery.
im always so hard on myself for where im at in life and need to stop that. i do try with some things, not all, but no one is perfect. ive been able to help other people and kids and thats priceless. right now ive been very faithful on a keto diet and without all the sugar my anxiety has really dramatically decreased. slowly i can make some more changes. ive overcome addictions all on my own which is pretty tough. if i hadnt been so run down by injuries and surgeries i dont think id be where im at.
So helpful-I have fear of this change but the consequences of a dysreguated life of hiding and self-sabotage are worse.
I recently found your channel. By listening to the first video about a week ago and hearing you speak about CPTSD. I never knew of it before. Everything makes so much more sense now. Multiple-times in debt, clutter, feeling unconnected, obesity .
We understand as few others can! I’m glad you’re here.
-Cara@TeamFairy
Wow! I'm finally at the point where I can process this information. Two years ago, I had an ending with a business client and started googling Narcsisism, stumbled upon the book, " The Deepest Well" all about ACE scores and can now feel tangible evidence of healing. Wow! I'm a Paramedic, go figure. I've devoted my life to saving people but not myself. That is all changing. I want to move on and work with adult survivers of childhood trauma probably as a trauma coach. Thank you, Anna.
Dear Anna,
I was drawn to your channel through your podcasts on procrastination (as a trauma symptom, who would have thought?) and on childhood trauma-induced CPTSD several days ago.
What you shared sooo resonates...
Binge watched several other videos since...
Thanks for your courage and immense love in sharing your beautiful heart, your story, time and resources to help others.
Your courses (free and otherwise), just like the videos, will help so much on my healing journey❤
Thankyou Anna I found you not long ago you are helping me it's like a breath of fresh air
Perfect timing, thank you, Anna! ❤
From the bottom of my heart ❤️ thank you
Everything from the 48 min to 56 minute is so spot on for me. Your explanation of what happens to you (I say happens because we know some of those patterns are always lurking) the numbness, dissonance in the brain, blank or stone face...me. But this explanation makes me drop to my knees and say thank you!
I have to say that you are helping me sooo so much! You make me feel empowered!!!!
Thank you so much for this. I've watched dozens of your videos, but this might be my favorite one. Such valuable information that I will bookmark it and go back and watch again. It spoke to me deeply. ❤
I whole heartedly agree!
I constantly tell myself that i am cursed, thank you so much for these videos. Just found your channel 2 days ago and ive binge watched hours of them.
I relize that im the problem and i need to heal. Im 35 and so many screwed up things ive done with no real explanation when i asked make a little bit more sense now
23:12 snap shot of what takes place in healthy ❤ transitioning to get brain and nervous system on line!
What you are describing is what doctor's have told me was epilepsy - the brain fog, the confusion, the blank facial expression. In my case, they were never able toedicate it out of existence Thank You my good fairy
I didn't fully understand the dysregulation piece of this at first because my symptoms are different. However, since I first stumbled across your videos about a week ago, I've been progressively noticing more instances where it's happening.
A major one that I noticed recently, is that sometimes I get stuck in an emotional funk --I'll be distracting myself with reading or video games while procrastinating to do something else that is important to me but requires energy / willpower. I'd try to time block the activity by picking a time to start but would then fail to stop the distracting activity (I have repeated this pattern countless times in the past). This happened to me yesterday evening --I felt really frustrated when I went to bed because I only spent an ineffective 30 minutes working on my portfolio, when I had really wanted to tackle it for two hours. The next morning I woke up in a dark mood and seriously considered not going to work. I felt irritated and flat and didn't want to talk to anyone, I skipped half of the daily practice because I felt too groggy. Then, it occurred to me that what I was feeling wasn't just some random funk, but that I had been dysregulated since leaving work the previous day.
After I arrived at work, I took ten minutes to write down what was bothering me (fears / resentments), not everything, but the immediate stuff. Then, I spent a few minutes in the bathroom to do 5 minutes of meditation. I wasn't sure if it would work because it wasn't much time to spend. However, it snapped me out of the funk that normally would have stayed with me for the entire day and potentially up to the weekend.
Other things I tend to experience are a more physical reaction. I get sweaty palms and tense my lower stomach. Sometimes I feel part of the freeze response where I find it difficult to walk through rooms with people. I get the urge to avoid eye contact or start making up thoughts that I think others are having in regard to what I'm doing. I'll fantasize about being confronted over an innocent action and what I would have to say to justify/defend myself. Even my walking pattern will change and become more robotic if I start to feel threatened in a public space. I try not to breathe too loudly and attempt to walk silently. I'm sure some of these things may be caused by other challenges I have going on, but it's nice to be able to figure out part of the puzzle at least.
12:00 yes, those sentiments can be a trap. We aren’t endlessly powerful, but we all have *some* power, *some* influence. We’re not meant to give up and let the crazies stay in charge. Maybe we can’t fix it RIGHT NOW, maybe we can’t prevent every bad thing, but we can make choices
I thought I had a good childhood but I find that I have many of these feelings and disregulation. That you for this channel it’s going to help many people.
I enjoy listening to you explain emotional disregulation and how we might pursue strategies to deal with it, understand others who suffer from it. My sister and I both have cptsd to a greater or lesser degree, so we try to help one another as much as we can. It does help to have someone who knows what you went through without talking about it all the time.
i love you so much! Thank you. I feel understood and i understand myself better
I have found a Veteran Affairs councillor that dropped my Boarder Line Personality Disorder and is now treating me for me CPTSD I am so great full
Your thoughts , views and advice resonate with me so much. Watching you I feel like I’m talking to myself lol. I’ve been on a healing journey (my entire life really) for a couple years now, making great progress, healing physical “itis’s “ and learning a new vocabulary, new tools for being my most authentic self. Thank you.
You are so welcome! Sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Each of your video is about me. I am so gratefull that I have found you on yt. You put into words my feelings, my emotions, my behaviours and my thoughts which I wasn't aware of. Thank you
I'm so happy to hear that! -Calista@TeamFairy
I love youuu!! Thank you so much for your channel!
Love how direct and honest you are. Great video for me right now, greatly appreciate your realness
Thank you! Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I have in recent months discovered your videos. Of all the videos I’ve listened to so far, this one has helped me the most, and deeply. It has given me the tools, the knowledge, the path to understand where to begin and how to walk out healing from my childhood traumas. I can’t thank you enough for you taking the time and effort to present this information. The fact that you were able to take all of your damage and turn it into helping others get out of their damage is truly an example. THANK YOU.
Wow, I'm so glad the video was helpful! Thank you for taking the time to comment, I'm sure Anna will appreciate this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I have just found your channel and I have to say every single video I listen to is spot on!!!
This might be the best video of yours yet!
Wow! Glad you think so :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you so much I wish I knew all this before I had kids but now I know an im healing and working on it everyday to become the best mom I can be and fixing all the wrong ways to raise my kid learning about what's wrong with me is helping so much and I'm able to control myself more and more thank you
That's amazing! I'm so glad you're here now :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Driving while disregulated is very common for me. Easily triggered. So many agressive drivers. My "safe" place to disregulate. So many people's only private space.😢😢😢
I totally get the tickle response thing!! I used to be SO bad about accidentally attacking someone if they sneak-tickle me, because my brother used to do this to get a rise out of me. I've learned better now, with 10+ years of not living with family
I cant believe how good these videos are.
I used to stutter and stammer every time i talked to my mom on the phone. I worked with a therapist to come up with something i could do and i was really motivated. I had a childhood stutter but i went on to major in speech and have ease with public speaking.
Long story of course but I never picked up the phone when i saw she was calling. I called back when i felt ready. And i imagined her with a chicken head. BAUCKK BAUCKK! CLUCK CLUCK. i always laughed a little before i dialed. In the beginning i had to look at a picture of a chicken. It worked and still does. You dont expect a chicken to listen to you. I apologize to all compassionate chickens.
Love it!
I am 38 and I am just learning this, so many things to be healed from narcisstic mother, avoidant stepfather, tarnished reputation in my job and from joining a cult😢 thank you to this video
Thank you for your work. 🙏
Thank you so much for putting these up
Awesome. I just learned signs I'm healing. Feels good to know I'm actually doing it.
Yay!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I just inadvertently stumbled upon a grounding technique that works, a cold shower (if possible). It brought me completely back to myself.
I knew that I can’t stop my progress now until I start getting a measure of control because I started crying almost uncontrollably in the middle of playing in a soccer match. That has never ever happened to me before.
I like your clarity and self aware
I know it took time to get the clarity
but you have mastered it well or your techniques
Your passion healing
I love Mr. Rogers!
At first I didn't like listening to this site but I like what she has to say and your sincere.
I can relate to much of what you talk about in these wonderful podcasts and I am so excited and ready to heal. One thing I wanted to say (maybe many have said this before) but I don’t have disregulation to the degree that you talk about. But it is still disregulation in my mind. A more mild form. That may only last a few minutes up to a day. But I can relate. I’m not sure the term that you would use but I think your “disregulation” term fits in my mind.
God put your podcast in my path at just the right time! I’m taking it on! Thank you Anna! Thank you for giving voice to what I have felt for 51 yrs. There is so much hope!
I'm so glad Anna's podcast has been helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you so much for this life changing video. I'm so grateful you shared this valuable insight, it means a lot to me. 🌻🌞
Natasha
That is so encouraging, thanks so much for commenting!
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you for your lovely reply Cara.
Such high quality and attuned information!
I love your knowledge sharing!
Noticed how after doing the daily practice (which I love and it immediately helps me), sometimes the deeper stuff starts coming out. All of a sudden I found myself crying about my mom who passed away many years ago and I thought I’ve overcame the grief. So it’s possible that I cling to daily distractions and overthink about mundane stuff to avoid deeper pain.
We're all sending you support :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy ❤️
Omg you helped me so much tonight THANK YOU
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
Seems I have not been using my agency very well
thanks for putting it to me so kindly
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
I really loved this video but all Your Work is Incredible!
Especially loved the part where you talked about becoming a pillar
Also I paused one time and you were making a rlly funny face and it made me smile and feel better about life, thx
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
Given me a lot to think about!
Thanks again!!!
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
Much Love!!
I'm glad this video was just what you needed, you deserve support and encouragement :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you! You're truly amazing! A godsend!💖🙏🙌🤗🥳
I can relate to flashbacks too...
Thank you for the informational videos. Could you please post the list of 12 things I wish my doctor understood about PTSD. Thanks.
How wonderful and powerful to have this validation and look forward healing and regulating ourselves instead of getting stuck in that hamster wheel. Than you! Soooooo much! ❤
Thanks for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy