I would LOVE more talks comparing introversion/social anxiety and the difference. I don’t know if I’m very introverted or just terrified haha. I’m going to be talking to a new therapist about it, but it’s just a really big topic.
For the person who asked question (4) about hoarding parents. My mom is a hoarder,not like on tv exactly but it was close at times. I would swoop in and fix it. She is an amazing loving mom as well. I spent years trying to fix it and make her SEE the literal and psychological damage. She just can't. There's so much trauma for her and she hasn't been to therapy about any of it. I would spend so much time and energy trying to keep everything clean and organized for so long. It was a losing battle. I'm in therapy for the second time now because I've got so much anger that comes out at my workplace. It's all tied to control and my experiences growing up. The hoarding was a big part of that. Hoarding violated my boundaries, I was gaslit, invalidated etc. It creates so much trauma for kids that is not widely understood. My previous therapist didn't understand a lick of it and was irritated when I compared it to an alcoholic's behaviors. I compared it to an alcoholic prioritizing a drink over someone's needs and feelings, although it's not the same which I get. I had nothing to compare it to, it's what I could think of. The hoarded objects were more important than my feelings and space. The drink is prioritized over everything. I found validation in an APA published article by a PHD who specialized in hoarding. Literally everything I was feeling was mentioned in that article.
@Mypinkbike, hoarding is a type of addiction, I believe, so that makes sense to compare it to an alcoholic. I don't have no experience with hoarding, at least not to the extent that I have researched, so I apologize if I wrongly interpret it, but I did grow up with an alcoholic parent. I can definitely see how it could have crossed boundaries and invalidation. I could see how it could have the same affect that children of alcoholic parents feel growing, where the child is left to take on the adult role, trying to keep the house in order to the extent that you must have had to take on, not to mention, the amount of stress you must have felt trying to hold it all together. I'm glad you ditched that therapist and found a place with better knowledge on the subject and it's affect.
@@iGoByPenelope Thank you! I just brought all of this up this week with the new therapist and she was amazingly supportive and validating. I'm not crazy! haha! Thanks for your reply, there are crossovers. It helps to know someone can understand : )
Timestamps! 1:28 1) Why do I feel so much shame and guilt about my trauma? It’s not just a necessary shame that it happened. It’s also guilt for upsetting others with it, and worrying that they’ll think less of me. Fear that they are judging. I almost want to downplay it to show that I’m still “normal” and it’s “no... 10:58 2) My question is can sexual abuse happen through people on the Internet. I’ve never heard anyone with a degree talk about it. But I’ve heard other people had the same experience as me through them talking about it on tik tok. My generation was the first generation who could have talked... 15:58 3) Is it possible to heal from trauma (child sexual abuse, incest) while still seeing your family? The abuse was disclosed and denied by the abuser and not believed by other family members. They go on like nothing has ever happened- the thing is, I don’t want to completely separate from them as I risk... 19:51 4) I would love for you to talk about growing up with parents who are hoarders. While they were loving parents, the home environment was traumatic. My parents struggle to see the damage that their behavior has on their children. Would love your thoughts on this and how to heal as an adult! 25:30 5) Sorry I know this isn’t really on psychology, but How to talk/support someone who has been through sexual abuse? I know you did a video on: how to talk to/ support someone who is struggling with suicide, a while ago... 27:41 6) I was wondering if you can say something about the family dynamics when it comes to past abuse and trauma. I was abused by my parents and a sibling in my childhood. The abuse stopped and the relationship changed. I have spent much time in therapy to deal with the trauma it caused... 32:38 7) Can childhood trauma make adult working life too much for some people? I really struggle with being needed and having responsibilities such as working certain days a week. I struggle with nightmares and some days I don't leave my bed when it's too bad which makes holding down a job just... 38:10 8) If you experience sexual abuse before you get to the age when you start to experience sexual attraction to others, how is it possible to know if the abuse has altered your sexuality or not? I was abused at the age of 14, and at the time I hadn't started to feel sexual attraction yet, only romantic attraction... 49:39 9) How can I know if I’m really an introvert or if I just avoid and distance myself from people because I’m afraid they could hurt me/let me down? And, if I find being around people draining - is it because I’m an introvert or because I’m managing anxiety and triggers?
@@andreafeelsfantastic guess I'm just still adapting to the new theme way of one mental health topic questions and answers but I still watch every Thursday
Thanks Kati, for another useful and helpful video on another interesting topic! It's wonderful that people can send questions to you to be answered - and this way, it helps other people with similar questions in their minds too right? You are able to reach so many people this way!
Hi Kati, thank you so much for answering my question. The path of healing, doing the inner child work, is long and full of hurdles, but you answer tells me I am doing the right thing/work.
I love your videos Kati! There’s so much I can relate to, even in this video alone. One I wanted to comment on is the part about feeling like a burden and how that can be caused by our family of origin. I know what that’s like. I was raised to feel that I can be a burden, but for me, I was specifically always told I can be a burden to other people, because of my personality profile. My friends always reassured me that I wasn’t a burden, so I was finally convinced I wasn’t. But over the past couple years the COVID-19 pandemic has overwhelmed people so much that they couldn’t handle listening to my problems anymore, so they criticized and withdrew from me, thus reinforcing the feeling I had that I can be a burden. But it wasn’t until later that I found out the pandemic was the issue, not me. This experience helps me to appreciate more than ever the people who are really worth being in my life. And yes, I also know what it’s like to always feel like people just want me to just let go and move on. So yeah, I know what it’s like to feel like a burden so I can empathize. Kati please keep doing videos like this. They really help me out a lot and I always enjoy listening to them! :)
Hi Kati, The hoarding comment really hit home for me. Except for it wasn't just hoarding for me and my dad was raging narcissistic alcoholic and my mom is an enabler.. I struggled with alcohol for a very long time. I am five years sober. I still have a little bit of a hoarding problem but it's not as bad as how it was when I was growing up. It's hard because I have major depressive disorder on top of borderline personality disorder, PTSD, anxiety, and I am autistic... sorry
These were such great questions! For me questions 7,8 and 9 were so helpful and needed for me. Thank you to the people that posted them and to you Kati for talking about them 🧡
This is interesting. I had a trauma. I felt ashamed of myself bc I didn't understand why and as I realized why and another person's fault, the trauma is gone. Thanks for this. I hope you are feeling better. Greetings from Spain!
Even when you already may have an idea on what the answer is to the question you need answered it’s so validating to hear someone tell you that what happened to you is real. Thank you Kati. I appreciated your answer so much🥲
Thank you so much for this! I needed to hear this. 🙏 I've been working on healing myself and moving on without feeling I still need an apology or validation from my family/parents. I needed this reminder that it may never come. I'm only at 24:43 but wanted to quickly comment before I forget.
Hello everyone and good evening to all here I'm here and as always I'd like to offer support and advice and care to anyone whos feeling low or really struggling with there mental health I continue to enjoy meeting new people and feeling comfortable because I know we are all here because we suffer from our mental health and because we really appreciate and glad to of found Kati s channel and all her podcast s and videos Kati s videos have helped me on my lowest days of my depression and when iv felt very anxious ❤️
14:20 Hell YES movies can traumatize you even if you voluntarily watch them. 🙈 I can laugh about this now, but when I was 9 years old I went to a sleepover party and they watched Psycho and Psycho II. Psycho traumatized me so badly, that from 9 years old until 20 years old, every single time I took a shower I was convinced someone was going to come in and murder me. The hyper vigilance and things I had to do to prepare for a shower border on insane. I seriously feared for my life every single time. 😳 My mom hated it because one of the things I had to do each time was take a shower with the curtain completely open so the floor would get absolutely soaked. 🌊🤣 I finally was able to get over it in college after a lot of work on my part, but the trauma that single movie caused me was crazy. Since that time, I've been very careful about what movies I watch because I know how traumatized the wrong movie can make me. 😖
Hi Kati, Not being believed is extremely traumatic unfortunately for a long long long time! Thankyou for your insightful, very helpful videos. Dyslexic Chick aka R_M_R.
Thanks for answering my question! (7) I am in the uk but your advise is transferable with the services we have here, it was nice to hear some validation, I have been a lot more negative towards myself since my therapy stopped. Take care Kati, happy Thursday ☺️
LJ.hello👋 Im Nikki I noticed you said you are from the uk I always like to meet new people iv not seen your name here before I basically always like to offer support and advice and care to people also I'd like to congratulate you on your question being picked because I know how hard it can be to get your question noticed and get enough likes from people if you are new welcome 🙂
@@nikkimckay860 Hi Nikki, it’s kind of you to introduce yourself :) I’ve been a listener from The start as I have followed katis main channel for a long time but I have only recently started to comment and ask questions :)
@@lauren11112222 oh ok I understand I have been watching and following Kati s main TH-cam channel for the last few years I use to just watch her videos on her main channel then I started getting into AKA podcast s then OTDM as well I use to only watch and not leave comments or ask any questions it's good to meet you a follower who's followed Kati s channel sence the start basically just wanted to be friendly glad Kati has been helpful to you 😊
It was way too intensely difficult and too much for me near the second half or end, but it was nice to relate to small bits of it about panic from those things and all for once, I hadn't heard anything relateable, but obviously it wasn't fully relateable. And I can't remember what they were, but idk how to feel about some comments. regardless I wanted to say I appreciated the episode and all while watching earlier, my brain just feels like it's burning a little bit
Giraffes eat stuff. id just like to say sadly I'm sorry sometimes Kati s answers to the questions are triggering and difficult to much for us to hear but it's good you was able to relate to small bits of her advice it's also understandable that we don't always like some of the comments just like to say Kati always dose her best and always gives answers to questions in deep detail she really dose care about all of us to add wish she was a therapist in the uk
I'm the same I went to my 3rd therapy session and I feel like and I know it'ds wired but after " I say, stupid me I talk to much or why I said this and I feel shameful that I cried" I told my therapist I hate crying but she keeps on reminding me that's OK and thus is the place to do it! But I Hate crying! I hate feeling but isn't that what I'm doing in therapy lol sharing my feelings! I'm mess! I keep on saying.....don't cry don't cry!
Hey Kati, I just wanted to thank you for you response about abuse and lgbt+ issues. I identify at the moment as part of the lgbt+ community. I grew up with SA as well as religious trauma and its mind blowing at this point in my life. It feels like everything I believed is not quite right.
I am starting with a new psychologist after having seen my previous psychologist for 8 years. I don't know how to start again... where do I start? Do you have any pointers as to the main things I should start with regarding my history? Also, I feel like I'm "cheating" on my other psychologist 😆 she was a beautiful soul but I just wasn't getting anything out of it other than "catching up"
I would LOVE more talks comparing introversion/social anxiety and the difference. I don’t know if I’m very introverted or just terrified haha. I’m going to be talking to a new therapist about it, but it’s just a really big topic.
For the person who asked question (4) about hoarding parents. My mom is a hoarder,not like on tv exactly but it was close at times. I would swoop in and fix it. She is an amazing loving mom as well. I spent years trying to fix it and make her SEE the literal and psychological damage. She just can't. There's so much trauma for her and she hasn't been to therapy about any of it. I would spend so much time and energy trying to keep everything clean and organized for so long. It was a losing battle. I'm in therapy for the second time now because I've got so much anger that comes out at my workplace. It's all tied to control and my experiences growing up. The hoarding was a big part of that. Hoarding violated my boundaries, I was gaslit, invalidated etc. It creates so much trauma for kids that is not widely understood. My previous therapist didn't understand a lick of it and was irritated when I compared it to an alcoholic's behaviors. I compared it to an alcoholic prioritizing a drink over someone's needs and feelings, although it's not the same which I get. I had nothing to compare it to, it's what I could think of. The hoarded objects were more important than my feelings and space. The drink is prioritized over everything. I found validation in an APA published article by a PHD who specialized in hoarding. Literally everything I was feeling was mentioned in that article.
@Mypinkbike, hoarding is a type of addiction, I believe, so that makes sense to compare it to an alcoholic. I don't have no experience with hoarding, at least not to the extent that I have researched, so I apologize if I wrongly interpret it, but I did grow up with an alcoholic parent. I can definitely see how it could have crossed boundaries and invalidation. I could see how it could have the same affect that children of alcoholic parents feel growing, where the child is left to take on the adult role, trying to keep the house in order to the extent that you must have had to take on, not to mention, the amount of stress you must have felt trying to hold it all together. I'm glad you ditched that therapist and found a place with better knowledge on the subject and it's affect.
@@iGoByPenelope Thank you! I just brought all of this up this week with the new therapist and she was amazingly supportive and validating. I'm not crazy! haha! Thanks for your reply, there are crossovers. It helps to know someone can understand : )
Timestamps!
1:28 1) Why do I feel so much shame and guilt about my trauma? It’s not just a necessary shame that it happened. It’s also guilt for upsetting others with it, and worrying that they’ll think less of me. Fear that they are judging. I almost want to downplay it to show that I’m still “normal” and it’s “no...
10:58 2) My question is can sexual abuse happen through people on the Internet. I’ve never heard anyone with a degree talk about it. But I’ve heard other people had the same experience as me through them talking about it on tik tok. My generation was the first generation who could have talked...
15:58 3) Is it possible to heal from trauma (child sexual abuse, incest) while still seeing your family? The abuse was disclosed and denied by the abuser and not believed by other family members. They go on like nothing has ever happened- the thing is, I don’t want to completely separate from them as I risk...
19:51 4) I would love for you to talk about growing up with parents who are hoarders. While they were loving parents, the home environment was traumatic. My parents struggle to see the damage that their behavior has on their children. Would love your thoughts on this and how to heal as an adult!
25:30 5) Sorry I know this isn’t really on psychology, but How to talk/support someone who has been through sexual abuse? I know you did a video on: how to talk to/ support someone who is struggling with suicide, a while ago...
27:41 6) I was wondering if you can say something about the family dynamics when it comes to past abuse and trauma. I was abused by my parents and a sibling in my childhood. The abuse stopped and the relationship changed. I have spent much time in therapy to deal with the trauma it caused...
32:38 7) Can childhood trauma make adult working life too much for some people? I really struggle with being needed and having responsibilities such as working certain days a week. I struggle with nightmares and some days I don't leave my bed when it's too bad which makes holding down a job just...
38:10 8) If you experience sexual abuse before you get to the age when you start to experience sexual attraction to others, how is it possible to know if the abuse has altered your sexuality or not? I was abused at the age of 14, and at the time I hadn't started to feel sexual attraction yet, only romantic attraction...
49:39 9) How can I know if I’m really an introvert or if I just avoid and distance myself from people because I’m afraid they could hurt me/let me down? And, if I find being around people draining - is it because I’m an introvert or because I’m managing anxiety and triggers?
anniekate76. Thank you as always appreciate the timestamps I haven't watched the full AKA podcast yet be catching up with it later
HIIIII @@nikkimckay860 I haven't either, just skimmed for the times. :)
@@andreafeelsfantastic guess I'm just still adapting to the new theme way of one mental health topic questions and answers but I still watch every Thursday
Thanks dear 🤗
Thanks 🙏
Thanks Kati, for another useful and helpful video on another interesting topic! It's wonderful that people can send questions to you to be answered - and this way, it helps other people with similar questions in their minds too right? You are able to reach so many people this way!
Hi Kati, thank you so much for answering my question. The path of healing, doing the inner child work, is long and full of hurdles, but you answer tells me I am doing the right thing/work.
KATI - we need a shirt (or even better - black hoodie) saying:
“Curious, not judgemental”
🥳🥰 just saying… I’d wear it all the time!!
Definitely important to be as curious as we can in life and prevent judgements being made about ourselves or others right?
Thanks Kati! Every time I listen to you I get more insights about my own traumatic past.
Take care of yourself! We need you. LOL
Absolutely!!
I love your videos Kati! There’s so much I can relate to, even in this video alone. One I wanted to comment on is the part about feeling like a burden and how that can be caused by our family of origin. I know what that’s like. I was raised to feel that I can be a burden, but for me, I was specifically always told I can be a burden to other people, because of my personality profile. My friends always reassured me that I wasn’t a burden, so I was finally convinced I wasn’t. But over the past couple years the COVID-19 pandemic has overwhelmed people so much that they couldn’t handle listening to my problems anymore, so they criticized and withdrew from me, thus reinforcing the feeling I had that I can be a burden. But it wasn’t until later that I found out the pandemic was the issue, not me. This experience helps me to appreciate more than ever the people who are really worth being in my life. And yes, I also know what it’s like to always feel like people just want me to just let go and move on. So yeah, I know what it’s like to feel like a burden so I can empathize. Kati please keep doing videos like this. They really help me out a lot and I always enjoy listening to them! :)
Hi Kati,
The hoarding comment really hit home for me. Except for it wasn't just hoarding for me and my dad was raging narcissistic alcoholic and my mom is an enabler.. I struggled with alcohol for a very long time. I am five years sober. I still have a little bit of a hoarding problem but it's not as bad as how it was when I was growing up. It's hard because I have major depressive disorder on top of borderline personality disorder, PTSD, anxiety, and I am autistic... sorry
Thank you for doing this podcast. First time listener and will definitely be returning.
These were such great questions! For me questions 7,8 and 9 were so helpful and needed for me. Thank you to the people that posted them and to you Kati for talking about them 🧡
This is interesting. I had a trauma. I felt ashamed of myself bc I didn't understand why and as I realized why and another person's fault, the trauma is gone. Thanks for this. I hope you are feeling better. Greetings from Spain!
Ahh omg Kati thank you! I’m so excited!!
Thank you Kati for everything.❤️
Even when you already may have an idea on what the answer is to the question you need answered it’s so validating to hear someone tell you that what happened to you is real. Thank you Kati. I appreciated your answer so much🥲
Thank you so much for this! I needed to hear this. 🙏 I've been working on healing myself and moving on without feeling I still need an apology or validation from my family/parents. I needed this reminder that it may never come. I'm only at 24:43 but wanted to quickly comment before I forget.
Hello everyone and good evening to all here I'm here and as always I'd like to offer support and advice and care to anyone whos feeling low or really struggling with there mental health I continue to enjoy meeting new people and feeling comfortable because I know we are all here because we suffer from our mental health and because we really appreciate and glad to of found Kati s channel and all her podcast s and videos Kati s videos have helped me on my lowest days of my depression and when iv felt very anxious ❤️
I love your caring heart!❤
@@PH-xh4fs thank you
14:20 Hell YES movies can traumatize you even if you voluntarily watch them. 🙈 I can laugh about this now, but when I was 9 years old I went to a sleepover party and they watched Psycho and Psycho II. Psycho traumatized me so badly, that from 9 years old until 20 years old, every single time I took a shower I was convinced someone was going to come in and murder me. The hyper vigilance and things I had to do to prepare for a shower border on insane. I seriously feared for my life every single time. 😳 My mom hated it because one of the things I had to do each time was take a shower with the curtain completely open so the floor would get absolutely soaked. 🌊🤣 I finally was able to get over it in college after a lot of work on my part, but the trauma that single movie caused me was crazy. Since that time, I've been very careful about what movies I watch because I know how traumatized the wrong movie can make me. 😖
Hi Kati,
Not being believed is extremely traumatic unfortunately for a long long long time!
Thankyou for your insightful, very helpful videos.
Dyslexic Chick aka R_M_R.
I love this new type of ”themed” podcasts. 😍👏👏👏 Like you said, so much easier to find the answers you’re after. Keep it up. ❤️
Thank you ❤️
Thanks for answering my question! (7) I am in the uk but your advise is transferable with the services we have here, it was nice to hear some validation, I have been a lot more negative towards myself since my therapy stopped. Take care Kati, happy Thursday ☺️
LJ.hello👋 Im Nikki I noticed you said you are from the uk I always like to meet new people iv not seen your name here before I basically always like to offer support and advice and care to people also I'd like to congratulate you on your question being picked because I know how hard it can be to get your question noticed and get enough likes from people if you are new welcome 🙂
@@nikkimckay860 Hi Nikki, it’s kind of you to introduce yourself :) I’ve been a listener from
The start as I have followed katis main channel for a long time but I have only recently started to comment and ask questions :)
@@lauren11112222 oh ok I understand I have been watching and following Kati s main TH-cam channel for the last few years I use to just watch her videos on her main channel then I started getting into AKA podcast s then OTDM as well I use to only watch and not leave comments or ask any questions it's good to meet you a follower who's followed Kati s channel sence the start basically just wanted to be friendly glad Kati has been helpful to you 😊
It was way too intensely difficult and too much for me near the second half or end, but it was nice to relate to small bits of it about panic from those things and all for once, I hadn't heard anything relateable, but obviously it wasn't fully relateable. And I can't remember what they were, but idk how to feel about some comments. regardless I wanted to say I appreciated the episode and all while watching earlier, my brain just feels like it's burning a little bit
Giraffes eat stuff. id just like to say sadly I'm sorry sometimes Kati s answers to the questions are triggering and difficult to much for us to hear but it's good you was able to relate to small bits of her advice it's also understandable that we don't always like some of the comments just like to say Kati always dose her best and always gives answers to questions in deep detail she really dose care about all of us to add wish she was a therapist in the uk
I'm the same I went to my 3rd therapy session and I feel like and I know it'ds wired but after " I say, stupid me I talk to much or why I said this and I feel shameful that I cried" I told my therapist I hate crying but she keeps on reminding me that's OK and thus is the place to do it! But I Hate crying! I hate feeling but isn't that what I'm doing in therapy lol sharing my feelings! I'm mess! I keep on saying.....don't cry don't cry!
Hey Kati, I just wanted to thank you for you response about abuse and lgbt+ issues. I identify at the moment as part of the lgbt+ community. I grew up with SA as well as religious trauma and its mind blowing at this point in my life. It feels like everything I believed is not quite right.
I am starting with a new psychologist after having seen my previous psychologist for 8 years. I don't know how to start again... where do I start? Do you have any pointers as to the main things I should start with regarding my history? Also, I feel like I'm "cheating" on my other psychologist 😆 she was a beautiful soul but I just wasn't getting anything out of it other than "catching up"
1:28
Yes sexual abuse/exploitation can happen online!!
Intense..
my dia nitapata wapi stikar yakubadika kwa gunia badoli yakushinda printing ukieka odar nakugoje kupoteza mdaa mrefuu bmata bado gunia🎉
🙌🏻
Allison Williams. Hello and good evening from uk nice to see your name here hope your doing ok hope everything s ok with you