Advantages of Being Married Young | Having Kids and So Much More | SouthAfricanYoutuber

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 226

  • @sibamqiks
    @sibamqiks ปีที่แล้ว +46

    Interesting chat! I had a similar conversation with my aunt, she's a divorcee. From a different perspective she advised getting married young solely because you get to experience everything at a young age and should your marriage fail you still have 'enough' time to reconstruct your life and get back on your feet, unlike how it would've been if you married in your 30s+. Just sharing because I think it's some valuable advice

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Hi Siba! Definitely is valuable advice - no one gets married to get divorced but life happens and at least then you have your whole life ahead of you! You right!

  • @keneiloemyoli
    @keneiloemyoli ปีที่แล้ว +56

    I got married quite young as well. And I literally started from scratch with my hubby. Was 22 and it will be 10 years of being married in 2 months time

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +5

      10 years! Wow Kene bathong how has the journey been?

    • @keneiloemyoli
      @keneiloemyoli ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@nolu_mqina it's been good for the most part.. challenges here and there as expected but ke..this gent has been good to me.

    • @LuthandoLuyanda
      @LuthandoLuyanda ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ❤❤

    • @thabisosekabate6403
      @thabisosekabate6403 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Congrats!!🎉🎉🎉🎉

    • @keneiloemyoli
      @keneiloemyoli ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@thabisosekabate6403 thank you so much 🥰

  • @uminenhle
    @uminenhle ปีที่แล้ว +14

    As a Financial Planner , I have seen cases where "waiting for big day" for too long is not a good idea. Lobola is Customary Marriage deemed in Community of property unless couple sign ANC which is advisable . you can still joint your assets via Accrual system. Some families and in-laws believe that without white wedding you are not " joint" . Other thing when you are getting engaged traditionally make sure you have full knowlwdge of your spouses history. E.g your man can have an Ex where he paid lobola and they separated without any paperwork even after 10 years that Lobola can be valid and your recent marriage invalid because Ex can be first wife customarily and in order for yours to be valid she will have to approve you as second wife.

  • @thatomohale4333
    @thatomohale4333 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Afternoon, let's also normalise knowing that marriage is a calling, n not everyone is called into that department. As for being accountable, one can still be responsible while their not married. A marriage/relationship can break or make u.

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I agree with you

  • @thabithasethemane5368
    @thabithasethemane5368 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Each case is decided on its own merits. I’m a divorce attorney and I come across different cases and each case will be decided based on it’s merits, traditional customs and in line with the Recognition of Customary Marriages Act. Your man can pay a quarter/half or sum on his first visit to your family (like Tshia said) and that can be a ground for customary marriage… other factors would also be looked at like whether you stayed with him after that, if he’s financially taking care of you etc. The court can accept that as valid customary marriage even if he did not pay off the agreed lobola amount. And that marriage is in community of property.

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thabi I feel like you should have been here! Because we are not well informed about these things we get ourselves into things we don't understand clearly.

    • @lisanomafola6804
      @lisanomafola6804 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I agree with you and most ladies be lyk no we are not married we didn't sign , how so coz this is customary marriage as long as parents accept that R350 we declare you married

  • @asandatshazi8685
    @asandatshazi8685 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    You gotta love Mrs B and her wisdom hle Bantu, she so young but yet so informed and matured

  • @modiehiponyane6448
    @modiehiponyane6448 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    This was a good conversation. I was engaged n he paid lobola n my early 20's that relationship changed my whole 20's learnt so much about myself. Ended up not married to the man, a pastor lol i was a church girl too. Now in my mid 30's i recently got married. knowing when to walk away and when to say yes to a proposal is life altering. Pray, make that list, get wise counsel. If it is the Lord will he will marry you.

    • @osh1278
      @osh1278 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      WoW! this a very insightful conversation!

    • @osh1278
      @osh1278 ปีที่แล้ว

      Why aren't you guys eating the food and drinking the juice😩?

  • @shereendlamini6520
    @shereendlamini6520 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    This episode was for me!!! 😍🙏Relationships do definitely change after you have a child. It's ALWAYS like that! This whole spontaneous life, doing things without planning first, is a thing of the past😂

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Shazi❤❤❤. I'm glad we could impact you! Yoh, a baby does change everything even when yoh have help.

    • @joeydlaminivlogs
      @joeydlaminivlogs ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Lol I can so relate like we plan everything 😂😂because if not you won't connect

    • @keneiloemyoli
      @keneiloemyoli ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Tjo hle..things really change

  • @leratophage7978
    @leratophage7978 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    What a great topic coming from young and married women, I learnt a lot and I am way older than you ❤

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you so much! It was a beautiful collaboration 🥹❤️

  • @nomcebosokhela8279
    @nomcebosokhela8279 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    All customary marriages are "In Community of Property" and there is no option to make it out of Community of property. So if you register your customary union at home affairs you'll be automatically be married in Community of property.
    However, if you want to do a civil union, you can do an pre nuptial contract, out of Community with no accrual or out of Community with accrual. If you don't have a pre-nup then your union will automatically be in Community of property.

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you for schooling us Nomcebo! These are the conversations that we should be having 😍😍

    • @sinethembamagaga1077
      @sinethembamagaga1077 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      If you want to be married customarily you have to sign a pre nup before the lobola negotiations. In that way you will be married out of community of property.
      If a pre nup was not signed prop then you are married in community of property and no way to alter that. Unless you bring an application to the court to change your marriage regime.

  • @joeydlaminivlogs
    @joeydlaminivlogs ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Love how real you are about the conversation of having the wedding celebration. For me I was so happy when we he paid the lobola in full and a small traditional ceremony. I was so happy and 11 years later I don't regret that we went small than big on the day

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I still want something small because wow who will be left with all those costs 😂😂

    • @joeydlaminivlogs
      @joeydlaminivlogs ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@nolu_mqina exactly so many people were shocked that I am getting married because I was glowing and not stressed at all😂😂

  • @BecomingTheGirlOfMyDreams
    @BecomingTheGirlOfMyDreams ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I really enjoyed this Collab. Love the both of you to bits. Also the maturity in Tshia is out of worldly for someone her age. The parents did something there

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you so much Siwe! Tshia’s mind is out of this world! He knows what to say and when to say it 😊

  • @mfundisozuma5810
    @mfundisozuma5810 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    So many perspectives to this marriage thing. Was beautiful to hear these views because where I’m from until uthelwa ngenyongo kwaMkhwenyana lowomshado isn’t complete.

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      Nathan Fundi! iNyongo is the most important. The marriage isn't regarded until it happens

  • @Mbali_Nkabinde
    @Mbali_Nkabinde ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Well said 👌👌👌love love it ladies well explained I’m 21and married n all of what you said is very true

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I hope this new journey is everything you prayed for

  • @zimkithathamsanqa626
    @zimkithathamsanqa626 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Beautiful..Tshia too matured for her age and I love it❤❤❤

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Very matured! This lady has nuggets

  • @gugulethukhoza9208
    @gugulethukhoza9208 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I can resonate. I'm 34 married for 14 years. 😮😮😮 I don't know how its like to make my own decisions.

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      This is what we were trying to sah

  • @anelemaphumulo1488
    @anelemaphumulo1488 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    In my early 20s and I learnt a lot from this❤

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm glad you can learn a thing or two

  • @Naizabae
    @Naizabae ปีที่แล้ว +7

    It's very important to sign that antenuptual contract before the big day, thats the advice our attorney gave us before our wedding day. Unless both parties are happy with being MICOP

  • @monicamolefe5622
    @monicamolefe5622 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Mrs B in the house love the collaboration👌

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you Mon ☺️☺️

  • @Yandisa_Tshepi1
    @Yandisa_Tshepi1 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Ohh my gosh did i not scream when i saw Tshia she is the sweetest.❤ Thank you sisi for the video.😊

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      She's the sweetest! Anytime 🥹

  • @lebohangmoshapo1205
    @lebohangmoshapo1205 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Absolutely love Tshia Smith🥺❤️

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      She's top tier! Even in person!

  • @khethiwesibuyi816
    @khethiwesibuyi816 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The wedding/lobola conversation is sooooo relatable… Especially in this social media age that prioritises doing things for people rather than what’s wise for your family. ♥️
    Thanks for the wisdom!

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Only a pleasure sis! We shouldn't get carried away and focus on the goal!

  • @Keitumetse9
    @Keitumetse9 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    And I’m here like, ‘80 people are actually a lot of people’, but Tshia is saying it was a smol thing. 😂😂

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It was 😂😂😂

  • @bulelanyivana
    @bulelanyivana ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Tshiamo is so smart bandla. Loved this conversation.❤️

  • @NdlovukaziM
    @NdlovukaziM ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I'm not married and I thoroughly enjoyed this ❤️. Love

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Love this for us

  • @nelzg5819
    @nelzg5819 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    It is not even a downfall issue ladies. Ilobola is MARRIAGE in FULL. It's automatically in community of property at that. People who are saying the white wedding is marriage do not know flour culture and our laws. Lobola is marriage in its complete form shame. Tshia may not have done mambo but for the fact that he paid everything in full AND she has moved in with the man cause he paid for everything , thats marriage umambo will not make it less of marriage. She is married in community of property unless there's a contract they signed stating the type of marriage they have entered into. U ladies are married PROPERLY so

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      These are conversations that should be had

    • @nelzg5819
      @nelzg5819 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nolu_mqina injalo babes cause this downplaying peoples marriages is ignorance at its best. White weddings are not our thing nr one , as black people. Two customary marriage is the full package, in community futhi. So it is concerning to hear people ask , are you married or was it "just lobola". We cannot be having Just in that sentence

    • @erpadministrator
      @erpadministrator ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The one trick they don't understand is that customary marriage is more powerful than a civil union. For the fact that he paid lobola for you and introduced you to the family, they accepted you and you are in his life it's a big thing. It's actually very hard for a man to leave you and throw you in the streets like that. Even the court of law refers your matter customarily. He can actually never divorce you that easily. I remember my aunt was married when she was 19 around 1992. In 1996 the husband went to work in Gauteng and got into a civil marriage ( signed at home affairs) without any family knowing/ approving that. In 2020 the man died due to COVID, even his body was not released without my aunt present. That lady got nothing on the estate of that man. Yoh it was very hard. The family told her they don't even know her by name she doesn't exist and the court nullified that civil marriage contract and she was charged for fraud as she faked my aunt's signature on the BI form in hospital.

  • @thevillagegist
    @thevillagegist ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I don't regret marrying young...but now am just like how would it have been if i married in my 30s 😂 also am like neeh was i really gonna hop and jump for that long...life is weird shem ,sometimes we just have to accept and appreciate the stages we go through and not put age in it

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You path was decided a long time ago by God and he wanted you to be a testimony hence you are where you are!

    • @thevillagegist
      @thevillagegist ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nolu_mqina Amen!

  • @joeydlaminivlogs
    @joeydlaminivlogs ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Lol your friend is like me I will be like no one remembers the deco we appreciate the cute pics but after that we are over it. Do what makes you happy and you won't regret afterwards

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Love this! It's your big day so whatever makes you happy is key!

  • @sharonroma6411
    @sharonroma6411 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    What an amazing collaboration. I enjoyed this a lot and I learnt so much from it, because I'm young and in a marriage phase. And I would love to have friends like you two. ❤️

  • @masekhoanelejaha5449
    @masekhoanelejaha5449 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Nolu I really enjoyed this episode, I love Mrs B she has such wisdom and kind heart.

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      She's amazing! Even in person!

  • @keneiloemyoli
    @keneiloemyoli ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Having kids does change the dynamic of marriage

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      A lot yoh it's as if you are in a different ball game

  • @Naizabae
    @Naizabae ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You and Thati made me love Tshia ❤

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      She's amazing 😊

  • @Anelisa_Daki
    @Anelisa_Daki ปีที่แล้ว +4

    My faves in a place, yey love it for us. Thank you mama kaZani for the vlog, can't wait to see you in your makoti attire wow usezoyobekwa emva kocango utye umkhono wakho... I am excited ingathi uzaba ngumakoti wasekhaya 🥰❤

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm a fav 🥹🥹. I'm so nervous yoh andazi ndithini. Mtase let me vlog it so you can see me in action 😂😂

  • @gugulethu.q
    @gugulethu.q ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Beautiful discussion Ladies .Topic handled so well🌻

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you, Gugu. We should stop shying away from such topics

  • @johannamanchu
    @johannamanchu ปีที่แล้ว +3

    tjo this topic was needed, catching up now. this is wat i did we did not celebrate as yet, they paid Lobola and all we did was go and register the marriage, pls register tuu, I love Tshia and all she said was such a great advise to many, and i also believe the dynamic do change when u are married and have kids yoh, family will also want to corner us to make the wedding celebration, mina personally i want to do more with that celebration money tjooo hai.

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      We should do what works for us 🥹

    • @johannamanchu
      @johannamanchu ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@nolu_mqina most definitely, people ignore the fact that celebration are not for everyone hey. Lol

  • @nomaza
    @nomaza ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I enjoyed this episode thank you ladies

  • @Naizabae
    @Naizabae ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Enjoyed the conversation ladies thank you

  • @miss_a25
    @miss_a25 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Absolutely enjoyed this conversation❤️❤️❤️❤️

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      Glad you enjoyed the chat lebo ❤️❤️

  • @boitumelokgomo5958
    @boitumelokgomo5958 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Oh how I so wish this sit-down was longer. So enjoyed it❤️

  • @priscillamanzinimahlangu
    @priscillamanzinimahlangu ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I loved this conversation so much,you ladies are amazing 😍I agree marriage is too nice if you married the right person

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you so much, mommy! It's nice

  • @clarence493
    @clarence493 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Even though you both married young Tshia's marriage is nothing conventional unlike yours

  • @Nicky_M
    @Nicky_M ปีที่แล้ว +3

    What a relevant topic so informative...thank you ladies for sharing

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Glad you enjoyed the installment

  • @Lindistic
    @Lindistic ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Lovely 😍 👌 Interesting indeed. Thanks ladies. Pls do more hle 😅

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      I was thinking of this!

  • @austinsithole3326
    @austinsithole3326 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I bumped into your video with Andiswa and that led me here!! Was soo shocked and sooo happpy!!! yohh nkosiyam, I know big people moes 😃😃 keep up the great work and congratulations on all your achievements!!!😃😃😃

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      Austin!!!!! You lead me here!!!!! Thank you so much for stopping by. Thank you so much

  • @hildandaba1466
    @hildandaba1466 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    From Mrs B channel. Here for this video❤

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you for popping in ☺️

  • @naniwemakhombothi9106
    @naniwemakhombothi9106 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I lv the conversation bcs am also young 💖

  • @sinethembamagaga1077
    @sinethembamagaga1077 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Guys if you want to be married out of community of property please do have your contracts signed before the day of negotiations. In that way your married out of community. But if your lobola was paid you guys are fully married in community of property.
    If your lobola was paid already and want but didn’t sign a contract you will have to bring an application to the court asking the court to change your marriage regime.

  • @mimimyeza7831
    @mimimyeza7831 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    ❤Love you ladies🎉❤

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      We love you too🥹

  • @realebogamonare7335
    @realebogamonare7335 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Tshia is such a beautiful soul hle ❤️

  • @Nonkosi_M778
    @Nonkosi_M778 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I love it here😍

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you mtase 🥹

  • @Cynclecia_M
    @Cynclecia_M ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hi hi this is the first time I have come across your channel and I must say I really enjoyed this chat it was very eye opening for me and I truly enjoyed...keep up the good job

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you so much mtase ❤️❤️

  • @feliciamahlalela3777
    @feliciamahlalela3777 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I'm a new subbie, I really enjoyed this video, it was very informative.

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      Welcome to the family Felicia 🥹. I'm glad you enjoyed this sit-down.

  • @Tamara_Twala
    @Tamara_Twala ปีที่แล้ว +2

    New subby❤Love love love this conversation. You are both young and so matured . Definitely a thumbs up 👍👍👍

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Welcome to the family Tam! I hope you love it here🥹

  • @mantelekhitsane8935
    @mantelekhitsane8935 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Interesting beautiful topic from beautiful young ladies ❤❤

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you sis❤️

  • @bessiemagoro3578
    @bessiemagoro3578 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You are right Tshiamo. I'm a lawyer dealing with divorce and that lobola letter is very important in the absence of a marriage certificate. Also, people who say they aren't married because they haven't gone to sign, ma'am you are married, in community of property and that letter will help you claim in the case of your husband/wife passing on or getting divorced.

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      I lost your email Bassie, please email me again

  • @Yassmiinn.
    @Yassmiinn. ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I thought Tshia Smith was your niece or something when I saw the thumbnail 😂, she looks so young 🥺
    But she's so matured ❤️

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      She is very matured!

  • @Kay_Mahlaba
    @Kay_Mahlaba ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Love this

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      We aim to please Mpho ☺️

  • @buhlebethushabangu3135
    @buhlebethushabangu3135 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Sila la 📍
    Now I already know I'll be late for church 😅

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Lord forgive please 😂😂😂

  • @zikhonakapi8648
    @zikhonakapi8648 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm a new Subbie🙂🙂 really enjoyed this topic and I've subscribed too❤

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Welcome to the family Zikhona🥹🥹🥹. I hope you love it here

  • @UZasemboMkhize
    @UZasemboMkhize ปีที่แล้ว +4

    New Subbie here, what a great conversation and really enjoyed it❤❤❤❤

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Welcome to the family Zase 🥹. Thank you ☺️

  • @keneiloemyoli
    @keneiloemyoli ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Watched till the very end ❤️

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nazo🔥🔥🔥

  • @SIMPLYBASSIE
    @SIMPLYBASSIE ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Enjoyed this one ❤🎉

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you Bassie ☺️☺️

  • @KHUTSO_MOOKA_SAYouTuber
    @KHUTSO_MOOKA_SAYouTuber ปีที่แล้ว +4

    What an informative video❤new subbie 🎉❤

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Welcome to the fam Khutso. I'm glad you enjoyed ☺️

  • @Rato-K.M
    @Rato-K.M ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you ladies for the conversation it's my second time watching this and I just wanna say thanks alot for the information ❤ooh I'm a new sub from MaButhelezi channel

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Welcome to the family Rato! I'm glad you enjoyed the chat 🥹

  • @somikazindabeni5268
    @somikazindabeni5268 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This was so informative love love 😍 a new subscriber fromMrs B’s channel 🫶

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm glad you enjoyed it, Somi! Welcome to the family mtase ❤️

  • @sinayemakhanya557
    @sinayemakhanya557 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    NEW subby look, in my opinion it's always wise to marry after a journey of self empowerment and knowing how to stand on your own before you stand with someone to avoid co -dependency . Also just knowing what you can do all o your own .

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      Welcome to the fam Sinaye. I completely agree with you!

  • @salmindapandula5826
    @salmindapandula5826 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It's money will be like you are not doing anything yet. 😂😂 May the Lord provide for you to do your wedding ma! I usually see you in the millennial mom's vlogs.

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      Finances are the boss of us 😂😂Thank you Salmi❤️

  • @Zanele_Mkabayi_Zulu
    @Zanele_Mkabayi_Zulu ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The last question and answers you gave ladies, wow I needed to hear that. Loved this Chat! Wisdom kaMrs B Wakhetha kahle uShenge ay suka🥹❤️❤️ Love you ladies!! I am definitely subscribing to your channel🥰

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Welcome to the family Zan and thank you so much!

  • @uncomfortableconversations8823
    @uncomfortableconversations8823 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Waiting for the “big day” is actually risky cause life happens. Rather get that ANC and go sign and you can celebrate whenever.
    I have not had a “white wedding” but all my contracts and marriage certificates are in place.
    Also cultures are different, xhosa culture you cant go till certain processes are done. After the lobola a date needs to be set fir your family to officially go hand you over. You need to then be introduced to the husbands family and the ancestors utye utsiki, be dressed in the official attire abd be given a new name lasemzimi. It is a whole process which I cant elaborate on but in the xhosa culture it is necessary.

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I aim to get my ducks in a row soon. Yoh, I've seen how important cultural protocol is. Km actually experiencing it. Did you have your tsiki yet

  • @groepyouneth3476
    @groepyouneth3476 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Nice vlog sisters 💕 thnx

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you so much Groep 🥹

  • @keneiloemyoli
    @keneiloemyoli ปีที่แล้ว +3

    My guest list for my wedding was 60 people

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm sure it was beautiful and intermit

  • @ms_zt1st
    @ms_zt1st ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Lovely video.. 🥰

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you Zan ☺️

  • @theawesomekhanyi1101
    @theawesomekhanyi1101 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Great conversation ❤❤ ..but u cnt register or have ANC if the lobola process if fully done …wen the lobola is fully done u already married in community of property

  • @nolithanqwala7824
    @nolithanqwala7824 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Enjoyed this video ❤❤❤❤❤❤

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Glad you enjoyed it Nolitha 🥹🥹

  • @TlaleThebe
    @TlaleThebe ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Loved it ❤️🥹

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you ngwaneso 🥹

  • @zenandejim86
    @zenandejim86 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Loved this conversation ♥️

  • @lutendomakhokha1562
    @lutendomakhokha1562 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Beautiful

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you Lu ❤

  • @kukuerusike8271
    @kukuerusike8271 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Tshia directed me her lol

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Welcome ☺️. I hope you like what you see

  • @linahramabu8290
    @linahramabu8290 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Tshia ❤

  • @sphindileshabangu3569
    @sphindileshabangu3569 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I think the Tsiki rules differ from family to family

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Nyani? Can we talk about this offline 😂

  • @sphindileshabangu3569
    @sphindileshabangu3569 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I have sooooo much I want to say. I need a vn option please

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I told you we should collaborate! You have a lot of wisdom to share 🫣

    • @mpumelelo526
      @mpumelelo526 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me too yoh💔I'm serious confusion where I really do not know what to do🤦‍♀️and to make it worse I don't have genuine friends where I can really talk too

  • @Zen_Ande
    @Zen_Ande ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I really think it's unfair that men choose when to marry, and women just have to be happy they get chosen.
    I hate it so much.

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It's the pits Zen but I've seen ladies taking it upon themselves to propose. We should make it a thing

  • @asandalindolindokuhle7639
    @asandalindolindokuhle7639 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I really enjoyed this video🥺

    • @asandalindolindokuhle7639
      @asandalindolindokuhle7639 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You've just gained your self a new subscriber 🥺😚

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are amazing Asa, welcome to the family!

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm glad you enjoyed the video

  • @monicamolefe5622
    @monicamolefe5622 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Hi Mommy❤💐

  • @bettygugumoyo8512
    @bettygugumoyo8512 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What a sit down. Is the other lady on TH-cam?

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes she is. She's Tshia Smith

  • @LolokaNkitha
    @LolokaNkitha 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    ❤❤❤❤

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      🥹❤️

  • @lungazyapi2009
    @lungazyapi2009 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hayi Nolu uyageza tjini the guy paid Lobola full, utsiki can or cannot be a big thing depends kuni nifuna ubenjani.. Hambo tya Tsiki 😂😂

    • @lungazyapi2009
      @lungazyapi2009 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Infact Ntsiki it's only family yakulomyeni

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      Nizoya mtase 🥹🥹. Should I document it?

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm nervous ☺️☺️

    • @lungazyapi2009
      @lungazyapi2009 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nolu_mqina yes yes please

    • @lungazyapi2009
      @lungazyapi2009 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mna ndatshata on a Saturday white wedding then following day Sunday ndatyiswa uTsiki.. ngaske sithethe mani and advise you

  • @keneiloemyoli
    @keneiloemyoli ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Here

  • @keneiloemyoli
    @keneiloemyoli ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm married into a Xhosa family and I didn't have Tsiki

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Nyani? Where is your husband from? Mabe different clans different rules

    • @keneiloemyoli
      @keneiloemyoli ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@nolu_mqina from Bisho. They do not practice ancestral stuff. My mother in law also didn’t have it

  • @Cousin_Bee
    @Cousin_Bee ปีที่แล้ว +1

    ❤️❤️❤️

  • @refiloeletticia9120
    @refiloeletticia9120 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🎉

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

  • @tshidik2801
    @tshidik2801 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Ka Setswana ke magadi le patlo...kiso ya mosadi and you go to home affair

  • @leefortunate5764
    @leefortunate5764 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Tshia ukhulile shame I see what your husband saw

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      She's very well informed!

  • @AndiswaMojapelo
    @AndiswaMojapelo ปีที่แล้ว +2

    📍📍📍

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Location sila!

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      We should chat about finances in marriage

    • @AndiswaMojapelo
      @AndiswaMojapelo ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Now you talking, would love to. 😊

  • @elleakenya
    @elleakenya ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The older you get the more weaker you become traveling in older years might not be fun like when you are younger

    • @Yassmiinn.
      @Yassmiinn. ปีที่แล้ว

      Life begins at 40

  • @khetimthembu8465
    @khetimthembu8465 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I love the advice towards the end:)🤍 As a young woman who wants to get married one day this was insightful🤍🫶🏾. We need more conversations like this so we can learn as young women

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm glad that you enjoyed this conversation! .

  • @miss_a25
    @miss_a25 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I Just want to know which married woman hurt Mandy🥹😂

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      She must come tell us 😂😂😂

  • @Anelisa_Daki
    @Anelisa_Daki ปีที่แล้ว +4

    My faves in a place, yey love it for us. Thank you mama kaZani for the vlog, can't wait to see you in your makoti attire wow usezoyobekwa emva kocango utye umkhono wakho... I am excited ingathi uzaba ngumakoti wasekhaya 🥰❤

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ndigumakoti wakho lapha mtase

  • @gugulethu.q
    @gugulethu.q ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Beautiful discussion Ladies .Topic handled so well🌻

    • @nolu_mqina
      @nolu_mqina  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you so much, Gugu ❤️ Glad you enjoyed

  • @MentalMamaThato
    @MentalMamaThato ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Enjoyed this video. ❤