Honestly I hate that society has made the stereotype of feminine men automatically being gay. I'm so glad that we're trying to normalize people just expressing themselves. Wear what you what! It dosent determine your sexuality, gender, etc.
Exactly like a persons voice, mannerisms, choice of clothing, being feminine/masculine Etc shouldn’t determine their sexuality it’s just boxing people into groups which is what the lgbtq+ community was trying to avoid in the first place like ???
sereously ,why ? no joke i do it sometimes too but sometimes the community takes things to far,if a man wants to be feminine they can that do not mean they are gay
literally when we make these jokes (we because i am 🏳️🌈) we are just perpetuating the toxic masculinity that we (the girls gays and theys) COMPLAIN ABOUT LIKE WE SAY “OHHH WOW, WHAT A DOUSHBAG, BUT THEN WE PERPETUATE STERIOTYPES THAT MAKE STRAIGHT MEN ACT LIKE THAT AHHHH
At first I think it was just a dumb joke that went way too far, but at this point it’s getting tiring. People always say they want to break the gay stereotype yet try to assign people sexualities based on their actions.
@@Nerdycluster i meant that in a sarcastic way, of course your actions and appearance will never define your identity because that is your choice and your choice only. A man can kiss a man without being gay and he can also kiss a woman without being straight. I agree with you completely on that. For example, i am a pangender bisexual and flirt mostly with women but that doesn't make me trixic.
@@Nerdycluster that's false, there is no actual studies of this abdvt9 many variables to actually confirm this statement. Kinda the obscure argument of its a phase. When there has been no true evidence of sexuality changing. We can say sexual behaviors could change but that doesn't mean sexuality change.
As a very queer person, a lot of the queer community are just straight up bullies. It’s not a fun place to be in a lot of the time. There’s always someone to make fun of , always something to be mean about. I’m not a toxic positivity person or whatever you call them but it’s seriously disheartening. There’s always a trend on who to make fun of next or something to make fun of. Not saying the whole community is like this tho ! Unfortunately However I find that a lot more considerate queer people are offline :(
Why is it so hard for people to understand, a guy can like “feminine” things or styles without being gay, and besides whatever shawns sexuality is, is his business at the end of the day not ours.
@@icemeoutlikeelsa that’s just projection. like i’m not a feminine gay man. but i’m a queer woman and i also used to think that i was just clocking other queer women or whatever. but no i was just projecting queerness onto them bc of my own stuff with accepting my sexuality
@@icemeoutlikeelsa yes there were a lot of cases i was right but there was a lot of times when i was wrong and projecting. and it’s not identication it’s projecting bc u literally don’t know the person so ur placing ur own ideas and feelings into them based on whatever u think is “gay” in ur own head. like obviously shawn could be gay but we don’t know him personally so we could just be projecting stuff onto him
@@icemeoutlikeelsa This is not gaslighting lol. You're using buzzwords to try to make your point sound more justified. He has announced many times that he is straight, so he is straight. Imagine coming out as gay and being told "no, there's 0% chance you're gay. Don't believe you. So straight!" Wouldn't be very fun.
It's always made me uncomfortable when the LGBT+ community calls someone gay because of the stereotypes and vibes they give off. Like, we're no better off than the homophobes who would bully us because of those same elements
I don't think this behavior should be equated to homophobia as a power dynamic is only present in the homophobic comments ( ie a homophobe would be targeting a minority whereas most of this bs is minorities targeting a majority) Definitely not cool and f r gives off middle school "that's so gay" bully vibes- but not the same as homophobia. People just need to mind their business when it comes to other peoples identities 😅
i agree with that comment ^ but i also agree that this is an annoying practice. i see so many acting like their assessment of x person being lgbt based on stereotypical aspects of that person is somehow accurate. like,,, y'all are lgbt and know how those Stereotypes are harmful, yet you continue to perpetuate them and validate them as being more truthful/accurate than they really are. I'm a lêsbïãn and i often see fellow sapphics comr to the conclusion a certain celebrity is fruity because of their non feminine clothing style and/or how their freaking voice sounds (aka deep for a woman😭) it's so ?????
I honestly felt sorry for him. From what i remember he literally said that he's straight on one of his instagram lives ( from what i remember, okay? But i honestly dgaf about his sexuality straight or gay whatever ), yet people still ain't let him breathing.
He said in a Rolling Stone interview back in 2019 that he hates the comments and that it makes him uncomfortable and his *gay* friends uncomfortable, and that he is straight and he wishes they would stop..... and people just ??? ignored him ??
im sorry if this too random but i think i saw you in the comments of an everglowup video and i just found it funny we watch the same content. i also agree with what you said here! the man cant breathe without his sexuality being a hot topic.
everyones like "men can be feminine if they want" but as soon as a guy actually is feminine everyones like "IS HE GAY?? HES TOTALLY GAY!" like oh my god make up your mind is it normal or only a gay thing
EXACTLY the people making these jokes are those same people saying "feminine man does not equal gay!!" but turn around and make jokes abt shawn mendes and thats what really ticked me off
It's weird because then was a video of Bretman Rock working out, the girls in the comments were pushing him to be straight. Just because of his muscular physique
I really do appreciate you calling out people who immediately queer code any man who doesn't want to conform to traditional masculinity. My ex-roommate constantly called me an "egg" cause she was convinced I was about to come out as trans cause I wear make-up and act more feminine. It was extremely irritating and I don't get why people think it's okay to treat someone like their gender and/or sexuality isn't their choice just because they aren't assuming you're hetero-normative in those instances.
I’m glad they’re your ex-roommate and I’m sorry you had to deal with that. It’s weird how people try to attach labels and gender roles to things as means to come off as “accepting”. Like can we let people assign labels on an individual basis and not paint other people into boxes?!
Yeah, unless someone labels themselves with a label, why talk about them as if they are said label. It’s so annoying, putting people into different groups based on their behavior instead of letting them speak for themselves.
@@ocinidolegna maybe a hatchling/ chick that hasn't come out of the shell yet type of metaphor? First time I heard of someone calling someone an egg too 😅
Yes please. For the past years, I’d have been seeing so many cis straight females fetishizing mlm couples, either fictional or irl. It seriously annoys the shit out of me.
YES. My mom is like this. She genuinely believes she's very supportive because she had a "gay best friend". (grimacing emoji) Yikes. For some reason I also ran into 2 people I was friends with when I was younger, and I hung out with them a bunch, not knowing any better. At the time, being the sheltered little beb I was, I had no idea anyone could like someone else of the same gender! These girls shocked me because I never knew. My dumb kid reaction to gay people was like "That's weird, it makes me feel uncomfortable, but I don't care what other people do". Just because it was something different from the heteronormative environment I grew up in. Anyway, these girls were eerily obsessed with MLM, and yet were very uncomfortable with WLW. :/ However, they were somehow my introduction to the queer community? wheeze. Anyway, I'm not friends with those girls anymore, but I AM queer! :P
@@xxx-ie9ic Sadly I use to be like those girls, and I think about it a lot. I think it might be an odd mix of wanting to see queer love while also having internalized homophobia and possibly misogyny. Now I'm non-binary and sapphic lmao
Imo it’s weirdly enough it’s usually younger girls who are not apart of the spectrum that are the ones always fetishizing gay men specifically. Just look at the demographic for yaoi. It is very clear(at least to me) who this genre is catering to. Not to mention how in Kpop this is also a very prevalent issue where people will literally get into arguments over their same sex ships. It can get very frustrating because although it can be all fun and games, at the end of the day both Japan and Korea are very homophobic. So as a Korean, it kinda hurts seeing this but knowing that I could never come out to my relatives or get true representation.
Ugh yeah, although I think some of these people ARE actually queer, but struggle with their own homophobia. Regardless, I still think it's weird for a queer woman or non mlm nbs to sexualize mlm relationships
Honestly we have to be careful with saying yaoi only pulls younger girls because I know a lot of trans men who read yaoi, found themselves inserting onto the uke, and felt bad because they were "fetishizing" gay men when they WERE gay men -source: am a transmasc who did this exact thing
@@meowntown69 Girls ARE yaoi’s target demographic, and they often fetishize the mlm relationships in said media-what does that have to do with gay trans men? No one said they didn’t read it (though, hopefully they move on cause Jesus 💀).
@@crim899 I didn't say it wasn't the target demographic, it certainly is- but it does attract a lot of gay transmasc who aren't aware they are trans. A lot of these people are made to feel guilty for projecting themselves onto the characters in the medium. We're told we must be fetishizing them and we believe it- until it comes out that we see ourselves as these men. It may be designed for the female gaze, but the inclusion of effeminate men makes it really easy for fem presenting transmasc to identify with them. Lumping everyone who consumes yaoi into one group ignores a lot of the queer people who use it to explore their identity
can we just let people be themselves? thank you for talking about this, they were jokes at first but they quickly got way too out of hand and now it’s straight up cyber bullying.
This really reminds me of what’s going on with the male members of Måneskin (an Italian rock band who are famous for songs like Zitti e Buoni, I wanna your slave and Beggin’). The whole group, which consists of three men: Damiano, Thomas and Ethan, and one woman, Victoria, has a very glam rock aesthetic and the whole group wears make up, suits and skirts often. This makes often assume that they all are in the lgbtq+ community which yes Victoria is a bisexual woman (she has a girlfriend right now) and Ethan is unlabeled (even though people always forget he’s queer cause he doesn’t have a label), but people often just assume it because of the way they dress, especially Damiano cause he’s the front man. He’s straight and very comfortable in his masculinity and started wearing a little makeup in high school because he simply enjoyed it, which he got some shitty comments from and he continues to get as he often wears it on and off stage. People (not necessarily Måneskin fans but most just random people on the internet) often get confused and kinda don’t believe that he is straight and has a girlfriend (who also gets loads of hate for no reason but it’s another topic for another day) which makes me wonder: do y’all actually think he’s queer or is this just stereotypes? Yes, he has kissed his male band members but it’s either just a friendly kiss or doing it to shed light on what the lgbt community goes through (like when he kissed Thomas in Poland)
This!! Self expression ≠ sexuality, and just because you choose to flirt with or share a kiss with someone of the same gender doesn’t mean you’re automatically gay or queer. It just means that you’re comfortable enough in your own identity to express yourself and/or be a good ally in the process.
i totally agree with everything you've said, but just a side note: as someone who's unlabeled, i feel like calling ethan "queer" cause he's unlabeled exactly invalidates his wish not to be labeled. like, I'm tired of this sht. I don't want a label, not even 'queer'. We're all just humans, i don't want a name or analysis on my sexual/romantic attraction pattern, and "queer" is one, it's a label. No offense, i just wanted to clarify that.
It just pisses me off when people speculate about others' sexuality. Like it's none of your business, and these arent fictional characters that you can write your fanfic about
@@erikperhs_ I think it depends though, sometimes speculation gets outright weird. Like people make a whole conspiracy thread, and even if at the end they're like "I'm not saying they have to be gay!! Just some thoughts :)" it seems kinda invasive.
The “Shawn Mendes feels he needs to prove he isn’t gay” comment makes me so frustrated. Like, absolutely, straight men do have a problem with trying to avoid sounding even remotely “gay” due to homophobia but this just isn’t that. How would you feel if thousands of people were speculating about your sexuality and trying to morph you into something that would satisfy their fantasies instead of seeing you just as you are? It’s just using a valid concern in a situation that isn’t about that concern. It basically co-opts discussion about straight men and homophobia and twists it into making out Mendes to be the bad guy.
As a straight-ish girl that is primarily attracted to feminine guys, I would be sad if femininity=gay. I really hope that more people can feel comfortable in their masculinity or femininity without feeling that it should match their sexuality.
@@ily5540 I am still questioning my sexuality, but the closest I can find to how I feel is Heterosexual Biromantic. so I am kinda both straight and not.
@@ily5540 yeah, it is straight, but it is also bi. I have crushes on girls, I want to kiss a girl, I want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her, but only asexually. Seeing as I am completely comfortable in an asexual relationship, I have a hard time saying I am JUST straight.
@@Irisroot yeah but it’s weird the whole hetero-biromantic thing like it sounds like bisexuals are just “straight” and have no attraction to the same-sex they aren’t gonna take you seriously, just say you’re bi and have no interest in sexual intercourse. Aside from that I’m surprised I’ve actually never seen a wlw not attracted to sexual intercourses.
Everyone: "I wish guys would be more open about their feelings or have less toxic masculinity" A guy: *paints their nails or talks about their emotions* Everyone: "OMG,! They´re gay!"
Also, you briefly mentioned Harry Styles but this whole situation with Shawn reminded me of people who used to (and somehow ten years later) think that Louis and Harry were in some secret relationship to the point where they completely stopped interacting with each other in public at all. It always made me sad cause the boys in 1D were so comfortable in their friendship and with each other in a way you don't see often with groups of guys that all the automatic assumptions and rumors from that felt really damaging and unfortunate.
People continue to write fic about them and make fanart about them and there are some that even continue to think that they're still in a relationship and their current relationships are fake. 😬 It's nasty.
@@sadakopilled He's unlabeled! He's kind of made a point that he doesn't find labels helpful and would rather not have that discussion publicly. But he has addressed it
I was a larry in the sense that I just shipped them together, I never really got into the whole conspiracy thing but admittingly would read them from time to time. Unfortunately at the time I didn't realize how messed up it was to be in that type of culture (I was 15-16 antisocial with too much free time on tumblr). I remember when news came out that Louis was going to have a child and all hell broke loose on tumblr. People left and right were calling the child a pr stunt and fake. Taking it so far as to dissect a picture of him holding his son claiming it was all photoshop. It was disgusting and it was a line I did not know could be crossed but it was. This was my wakeup call and I left the fandom right after. I still feel terrible about even being apart of this even though I never did anything besides like a few edits and fanfics but still. I don't doubt that there are some that still believe they're together (some even believe they're MARRIED ffs) and would jump at the chance to ask incredibly invasive questions about their sexuality that they have no right to know. I just hope they seek help bc obsessing over a relationship/sexuality that isn't yours is not healthy, celebrity or not.
shawn literally said, "I wonder, when I cry into my hands I'm conditioned to feel like it makes me less of a man". he's not new to being bullied. he'd been bullied for being taller than most as a teen, and as his fame grew these past few years, he's being bullied for his softer personality and behaviour. it's a good thing he hasn't given in to toxic masculinity and given up his gentleness to protect himself, and a damn shame that members of the lgbtq community are perpetuating cisheteronormative standards as a "joke" when it does absolutely nothing for the liberation of lgbtq people AND only causes harm (on all the groups in society).
Thank you for speaking on this cause the discourse around Shawn Mendes has made me really uncomfortable and people want to say that no one’s sexuality is anyone’s business unless they want to share that info… until they’re a celebrity and every little action they do goes under a microscope until it’s everyone _except them_ spreading a narrative about their orientation and/or identity…THAT LITERALLY NO ONE KNOWS BUT *_THEM_* 🙄😒.
WELL SAID :") after listening to Wonder, there are certain parts that gives me a sensing that he's trying to tell his supporters to stop these rumours. Shawn said in an interview that he had to constantly say that he's not gay while trying not to offend the lgbt community to the point where he got irritated. These part of the lyrics, "I wonder why I'm so afraid of saying something wrong, I never said I was a saint. I wonder, when I cry into my hands, I'm conditioned to feel like it makes me less of a man" really just broke my heart. (Although I might just be reading too deeply into this & the lyrics are just another interpretation lol)
it's not just you reading too much into it. he's not new to bullying and the horrible rumours and jokes definitely affected him. when trying to reclaim his own identity and dispel rumours, he was accused by people (trolls or not) of being homophobic. he, rightfully, would be very wary that one wrong move would end his career and afraid of speaking out again. wonder was definitely about him healing and finding happiness and loving himself, in spite of what negative things people might try to cast his way.
14:29 Probably- The amounts of fetishization I've seen around gay men or the idea of men being gay from young straight girls is insane- And it's freaking awful, I wish more people talked about it
Great video! It is really ironic how people will preach with their chest about respecting people's sexuality, to not assume, and to promote expressing yourself outside gender binaries but will turn around and basically harrass someone who clearly states they are straight but may express themselves as more feminine.
That moment when people are so used to men celebrities being hyper-masculine that the moment one shows a shred of emotion/femininity/distaste in a woman, he gets accused of being gay
As a kid my mom would always ask me if I was gay because I wasn’t the typically girly girl in pink. I would wear jeans, tshirts, and mens shoes. Even as an adult I’ve gotten the “I don’t care who you love” speech. As an adult (and growing up) if I mentioned a girl I was friends with I would get ask if we were “just best friends” or get certain looks. I’m Pansexual and my family doesn’t kno. I honestly have no desire to tell them because it will turn into a spectacle or “I always knew” moment.
Shawn is a sweet person he is well spoken and was obviously raised well by his parents. People need to stop, because we are the same people complaining how bad toxic masculinity is. We sound crazy when we creating those types of environment against the very thing we are hoping to change.
"UGH, why are men so bad at emotions and communication!?" "OMG! He did something slightly feminine, he must be gay! Just come out of the closet already!!" I hate being gay in this era.
also these "jokes" has been going aroung since he was a literal minor,when a lot of them are some times sexual it's horrible how ya'll sexualized a young boy who did nothing but have a soft voice and made him a victim of bullying for years.and those things still continue today(when he's 23 btw)it just makes me so sad and ashamed to be part of the community
i remember how much this stuff affected him a few years ago i cant imagine how its affecting him now, saying someone is something that theyre not sucks. like if someone kept calling me straight even though im a lesbian i would feel rly hurt bc thats not who i am. also just bc a man does feminine things or isnt hypermasculine that doesnt mean he is gay
Imagine you're dating someone and the entire world talks about how you and the person you're dating don't and can't actually love each other and are just pretending
I always hate seeing the internet just decide someone is definitely something LGBT+ and must just be lying. Like there are only really two outcomes: you're either literally just harassing a straight person for "lying," or they actually ARE gay/bi/whatever and possibly still in the closet for a very good/very personal reason so you're likely just pushing them further into the closet by trying to forcibly out them I dont even really follow Shawn but the whole "oh he's secretly gay, just admit it dude" stuff bugs me so much any time I see it
People act as if saying that kinda things to Shawn makes a more "welcoming" atmosphere for him to "come out" and it's just not the way to do it. My best friend was gay and it took him a looong time to be ready to come out to me if he wanted to. I spent years making sure that he felt comfortable with me to come out, but at the end he was so thankful for everything I did, for being there for him, for being patient and never pressuring him to say anything, just being a good friend. The kind of comments people are making about Shawn reminds me of his "friends" that used to try to bully him into coming out, it's awful really
My main problem is we (the LGBTQ+ community) always says stuff about how you can be feminine and like ladies, you don’t have to be gay and stuff to act feminine but then whenever it comes to Shawn Mendes we completely forget all that and bully him, even IF Shawn is gay like of course that’s fine but he might be scared to come out and we shouldn’t go on about how he’s gay and stuff, it could be scaring him about coming out IF he’s gay. I saw way too many memes about Camilla finding gay porn in Shawn’s search history when they first got together
It reminds me of when Dan and Phil were in the closet and the phandom constantly pushed their ship onto them And while they took it on the chin and even joked about it sometimes, it definitely made them uncomfortable sometimes Because they ARE gay and being pressured by people who are supposed to care about you into dating your best friend/being outed/etc It was messed up. We were so focused on a stupid ship that we forgot these are HUMAN BEINGS and not puppets in a our low-high-key gay fetishising.
So many of the same people that make these "jokes" are the same people who say that men should be able to dress feminine, or that men should be able to express emotion. They say all that, but the second a man shows emotion, or dresses feminine, they make fun of them for it.
This was a much needed viddie. I’m a trans guy and my partner (cis guy) and I have been dating since long before I realized my true identity. My partner has thus far only dated and been attracted to people that identify as women at the time of their courting (there’s another person he dated that later also came out as a trans guy, what a small world heheh) and before I came out he would have never considered being in a relationship with another guy. He’s extremely supportive of me and my identity but he gets a little confused sometimes. One day he came to me and asked “should I start telling people I’m gay now?” I asked him if he was attracted to any other guys than me, he said no of course not. I said “honey you don’t have to change your sexuality on the basis of my identity changing. You like girls, we both thought I was a chick when we started dating, you love me as a person regardless of my presentation changing, you can just say you’re a straight guy in a gay relationship and if anybody has a problem with that they can talk to me about it”
THANK YOU! Identity is personal and complicated and we should stop putting people in boxes and value some arbitrary rules over lived experience. Let people be themselves without judgement!
Respectfully, I couldn't do that. It makes me uncomfortable when lesbians are attracted to me (as a transmasc nb) because I feel it means they view me as a woman
@@meowntown69 yeah I definitely wouldn’t want to date any other straight guys now that I’m out and all that… my partner has been super supportive though it’s just I wouldn’t expect him to say he likes guys when he doesn’t, he just likes one guy that happens to be the person he’s been with for like a third of his life (jesus I feel old)
Gosh I really appreciate you for covering this! I truly do not understand why some people need to question celeb's sexuality, or in this case- Shawn's sexuality. He's always said that he's straight, and people keep pressuring him to come out as a joke? Like, what's the point? That "joke" is not funny enough for morally well people to laugh at, though it fits more as a harassment.
There’s this guy that sits at my table is Spanish, and he has his nails painted. This is a conversation between him and a guy that walked up to him “You have your nails painted purple?” “Yeah” “..that’s kinda gay” “No it’s not” “Is your mom cool with you painting your nails?” “She is the one who painted them”
This embodies how I feel when people talk about the accuracy of their "gaydars". I've had too many people in my life be like "how did you not know [name] was gay!" These people also don't take "because it's none of my business nor yours" as an answer, and sometimes brag about their ability to "sense someone's sexuality." Treating speculation as a game is just bullying and doesn't accomplish anything other than making people uncomfortable being themselves.
Honestly this obsession with assigning celebrities with gender identity’s or sexuality’s is creepy and disturbing. They’re real people with real lives and feelings, they’re not fictional characters that can be played with because they’re not real. This isn’t a tv or a book or a game it’s real life. And it makes it harder for real lgbt people to come out, like yeah the culture is definitely more accepting and it’s a bit easier but it’s not 100%. Plus this can cause trouble in their actual real lives. How can they date or have friends and what if their families are intolerant and the tabloids and so called fans keep saying no they’re really gay, or bi, or trans, or anything else maybe they do come out as not straight but the insistence that they are will make it harder than it should be. It’s gaslighting and wrong to disregard their actual words and feelings of how they identify. People need a serious reality check and need and butt out.
I do think that what is going on with Shawn is over the top. The guy's 23, and even with the off-chance that he was something other than a pretty, well-dressed straight man, he would probably be mortified of even exploring that alternative with how public his private life is. And, he is on the young side to come out, especially if he is bisexual. For what we know, he could be asexual and really uncomfortable with all this. The same public harassement is going on with other younger celebrities, too, and that is not cool. I do want to say one thing though. I'm bisexual, and it's the strange label which never comes up. It's always gay or straight, never bi. We have the social rule that you're straight and cis until proven otherwise. I've decided to go against the rule and assume everyone is bi. But I don't go to Twitter to declare my thoughts. Twitter is not for private conversations.
Thank you for talking about this. I’m straight but because I wear feminine clothes and sometimes act a lil feminine people constantly ask me about my sexuality and gender. This made me feel like shit. I even felt guilty for some time because it felt like I was posing as queer when I was just trying to be myself. And NO ONE talks about this. This made me feel even more like it was just my fault and something was wrong with me. Like I was not allowed to be myself because I thought that if I did that I was homophobic or transphobic or smthing.
There is nothing wrong with you, Everyone has different ways of expressing themselves and that’s your way! Remember, Clothes don’t have a gender and don’t let anyone tell u otherwise!
this TOTALLY reminds me of conan gray. the man is SPECIFICALLY UNLABELLED. he's always used "the person" and "they" in songs and interviews, when his fans (and even interviewers!) have assumed the gender of his interests being male. he's unlabeled and his unrequited love interests could be male, female, or whatever the hell, and it's cringe to assume who they are. y'know? he's a feminine dude sometimes, sang sweater weather on his channel, and uses gender neutral pronouns, and people took it and ran with it. just enjoy the music!
@@santiagoponcini9588 i think they meant that he uses gender neutral pronouns when referring to his love interests rather than his own preferred pronouns
Thank you, I'm all for jokes but if the person themselves say it's affecting them and to stop the jokes it needs to be STOPPED, I've seen too many people being okay with the toxic jokes people are making about Shawn Mendes 😭
I cannot stress enough how glad I am that someone is finally standing up to this trash. Especially someone as eloquent as you. So much of this "kinda fruity," and "he's kinda 💁🏻♂️" stuff is just thinly veiled homophobia. It's casual-ness is what scares me. Today's kids are being taught that toying with gay people is fine. The clownery is on full display... I hope you make more content like this because the world certainly needs it.
Imagine telling a gay person they’re straight, you know they’re straight, duh, it’s soooo obvious? Insulting AF, right? Stop doing this. If Shawn says he’s straight, he’s straight, and if he ever comes out in the future you’re not “right” for “knowing it”, you’re basically an outer. Jfc!!! Edit: ALSO INSISTING SOMEONE IS GAY THROUGH STEREOTYPES REENFORCES THESE NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES THERE IS NO GAY VOICE PLEASE STOP
This happened to Dan Howell and he literally made a video about how harmful and invasive jokes like these were to him. People really shouldn't force someone to declare their sexuality because you never know if 1. they're ready to come out or 2. they're just straight and don't conform to your ideals of what they should be like.
How can we degender fashion & make it easier for members of the community to be open about their identities if we are continually trying to not only label people, but doing it AFTER they have already told us that they are straight.
I feel like the situation is way overdue to be talked about since it’s caused so much uproar on social media… I agree with Fredrick’s points and I really agree with the whole “even if you think something, don’t post it on social media” concept… it honestly reminds me of the parental saying “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” like if it’s not about you, don’t say anything…
Thank you. I’m glad someone else tackled this topic. Because how did we all fight for the right for men to be feminine, but claim they’re all gay just for being feminine.
My little brother is like 8yo. When he was 6yo he was crying and I went up to him and asked what was wrong. He said that only girls can be beautiful but not boys and that made him feel ugly. These stereotypes make young boys really confused and sad. My brother dressed up with my old costumes (dresses) so that he could feel handsome and right now he understood that everyone can be beautiful. He tries on my makeup and he still shows an interest to his girl classmates more than the male ones. Straight men can feel beautiful ffs
this just proves that our community is changing a lot slower than we thought. we cannot allow a man to be feminine and straight though we preach against toxic masculinity. whether shawn is gay, straight, whatever, it shouldn’t be his personality and interests that define that.
It reminds me of this boy that I went to highschool with. Everyone would constantly ask him if he was gay because of his voice and when he said that he was straight people would literally laugh in his face. No one believed him. It really makes me sad to think about because yall are literally stereotyping this poor boy or in the case of shawn, man. It's extremely rude. It is one thing to joke with your friend who allows you to joke about their sexuality, but a stranger?
The fact that men used to be able to hold hands in public and not be questioned about their sexuality and now every little thing is scrutinised… (For context this was waaaaayyyy back in the day before gay people in England were arrested for being gay, I had to learn about it in my A level English class because we were reading a series of poems and one of them was about a gay playwright that was arrested for being outed as gay in one of the most upstanding hotels at the time. It was in the in between time from men being able to hold hands in public to being questioned about their sexuality).
I dont think some people realize that what they say can definitely affect someone. It can feel horrible to be accused of something that you aren't or if you are not ready to say something about it,even if it's a joke. If its a joke then why isnt the other person laughing with you? Especially if it is someone with a large platform. thank you for covering this topic! also i love your shirt today its very cute
Why can’t we all just listen to him, like if he says he’s straight then he’s straight. We need to start believing people when they tell us their identities. And if it changes later then great, but like you should never assume.
If Shawn is gay and wants to come out, he'll come out. If Shawn is gay and doesn't want to come out, he won't come out. If he's straight and doesn't need to come out, he won't come out. If he's a human and doesn't feel the need to announce his sexuality to the world to please kids who post on tiktok because they have nothing better to do, he'll do that perfectly from the comfort of his own safe space. Side note: regardless of whatever you think someone's sexuality may be, you should never pressure them to come out or try to out them because coming out is a special moment for people in the community and they should choose when and if they wish to come out. 😘💛 thank you
Okay, after watching this video, I’ve got a lot on my mind, and I NEED to say something. Frederic is so right, and it’s videos like this that keep me watching him. We need people who think, reflect, and discuss rather than dismiss, invalidate, and react. So, here’s some things I needed to say. Warning: These are just my opinions and deductions from what I’ve observed in my own life and I don’t intend to offend anyone. G’day. ------ See, this is the problem. I see some gay/queer individuals/LGBTQ+ people in general who bash straight people for being straight simply because they themselves have trauma for being bashed for their sexuality/how they identify or just want to feel superior because they've always felt inferior. But what good does that do? I mean, SERIOUSLY? What progress and positive change comes from something so backward? At that point, it's just someone hating on someone because of their own trauma or insecurities and not considering the trauma and damage that backward hate can cause for someone else. And that's not okay. And what about forcing someone into being "gay" (or anything else really)? And why do some people (as you said, Frederic) rarely ever think something such as bi or pan could be possible too? Assuming someone is a certain sexuality is messed up. And so is ignoring the variety that is possible (aka being bi, pan, asexual, etc.) just so we can stick people into our own self-determined boxes for personal comfort, satisfaction, or simply as a distraction from our own trauma and insecurities. I mean, we do not and never will be able to determine how someone feels or identifies unless it comes from them directly, so why are we acting like we're experts on someone's sexuality or have the right to declare it for them? It's not our place. AT ALL. And on to straight people ("heteronormative people") who claim "heterophobia" exists and use it to say, "I'm oppressed too." Some people use the reality that when some people from LGBTQ+ bash straight people that they are being heterophobic. And this is NOT true. Heterophobia does not exist because in order for it to exist, straight, "heteronormative" individuals would need to be the minority who have past and present cultural and personal trauma and oppression for being "different." Heterosexual individuals are not "oppressed," they are just prejudiced against, which is still wrong. And don't go getting mad at me for saying this, you heterosexual people out there, because as someone who was around a subtly homophobic society and internally homophobic people, I once thought it did exist too. And I am literally bisexual but thought I was straight for a LONG time. When I thought I was straight, or rather wanted to be straight because of my internalized homophobia, I took attacks from LGBTQ+ individuals personally and believed it to be "heterophobia." But it doesn't exist, heterophobia DOES NOT exist. And it doesn't take away from the fact that those who are LGBTQ+ may bash you. Saying things such as "Ew, straight people" is still harmful and not okay. All I mean to say is that the word "heterophobia" does not define what this hate is, it is simply prejudice that you should face from a non-homophobic standpoint. Hating or being prejudiced against someone is not okay and should not be tolerated in general. So simply reflect on the simple fact you are being hated on and refrain from hating on them too. Do not let internalized homophobia (which, let's face it, MANY of us have - whether LGBTQ+ or straight) drive your reaction. In some cases (from what I've seen), some LGBTQ+ individuals want that homophobic reaction to occur so they can reinforce the idea that all straight people are terrible people. Just as some straight people hate on LGBTQ+ to get a reaction out of them so they can reinforce that LGBTQ+ individuals are the terrible people/inferior. But this cycle of hatred is so tiring and old at this point. Like, it's 2021, let's try and get our sh*t together. Both groups need time and healing, so let's start by educating ourselves, working on our societal programming, being self and socially aware, and overall sympathetic and empathetic. ------ *sigh* Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
oh my god thank you so much for making this. it's really important and needed to be talked Abt so badly, I've always been uncomfortable with it. everything u said was perfect
My husband, who isn't gay, has gotten this shit from a family member for years. It took SIX MONTHS of us (after we got married) telling her that I wasn't a cover, he isn't gay, and her "jokes" weren't funny, for her to stop. And I know that if she found out that I'm agender, it would start all over again. He felt so disrespected and misunderstood because of that, and frustrated that he had to defend himself so hard. As his partner, I felt like I was nothing but the butt of a joke, and that this person didn't care about how this would affect anyone. 👏 We 👏 don't 👏 have 👏 the 👏 right 👏 to 👏 dictate 👏 anyone 👏 else's 👏 identity!
about 21:00 I think it lies a lot in the ASSUMPTION OF ATTRACION TO MEN. Heres the thing, when a girl says Im lesbian, some assume she is bi, when she says she is bi, ppl assume shes straight. When a boy says he is bi u think he is gay and when he says hes gay, its more accepted as "true" all of them assumes attraction to MEN. It was interesting to see that I was not the only one who noticed that
this reminds me of the milly bobby brown situation. please talk about how people made her a ‘homophobic’ icon because that literally had her taking down her twitter. 😭
This happens to me at school cuz I compliment other girls and when a girl is attractive I like, “Yeah she is” cuz I mean, they are. But they think I say I’m straight to cover up that “im lesbian”. Like if I did like other girls I’d have no reason to hide it, personally. But I don’t and people don’t accept that 🌝
It really annoys me when other gay people decide they get to hemophilia because they are gay. Like just because you are gay doesn't mean it doesn't still come off as a homophobic and hurt other gay people. For some reason they think that homohobia isn't homophobia because they are gay. I hate it so much, it's unnecessary and it hurts other people and really isn't that funny.
Can we just, not! Labels are so stupid. Leave the poor dude alone, and just accept that he's straight. Literally what difference does it make if he's gay/bi/straight?
the whole situation is deeply homophobic & enforcing gay stereotypes that don’t just harm mlm but straight men too. the idea that if any man displays any sort of emotion people will assume he’s gay due to the fact they’re not conforming to the toxic masculinity implemented by the patriarchy. it’s disgusting, just let people live & stop assuming you know people just based on what someone portrays…
You did such a great job explaining all of this because I’ve been thinking about this situation too but I’ve never really been able to verbalize it and explain why it’s wrong so thank you for this !!
The reason women can kiss other women without being harassed about it in a violent way is because it’s sexualized and there’s a whole demographic of men that sexualize this behavior.
HEY FRIEND CHEEZE!! I JUST SAW YOUR GOOGLE AD AND HONESTLY MY MOUTH DROPPED OPEN! (not only did you look on fleek, but you also.... did an ad for google! freakin google. 😝😝)
Thank you so much for talking about this and explaining it so well ! Seriously it’s so irritating. Hopefully the ones doing those jokes will realize that celebrities are people too.
It was rare, I gave Cher, I remember it All Too Well
as you should
Omg yeeeeeeesssss
That rhymes
SHAWN MENDES IS FALLOWING THE FOOTSTEPS OF RICKY MARTIN and GEORGE MICHEAL
the fact i have listened to this song on repeat and spotify clocked me for listening to it for over 10 hours
Being gay means liking men. You can be femenine or not be extremely masculine and not like men.
Say it for the people in the back.
Showing emotions are not feminine
EXACTLY
Exactly, there no such thing as gay energy or bi energy or whatever. It’s just boxing people into groups
!!!!
Honestly I hate that society has made the stereotype of feminine men automatically being gay. I'm so glad that we're trying to normalize people just expressing themselves. Wear what you what! It dosent determine your sexuality, gender, etc.
Exactly like a persons voice, mannerisms, choice of clothing, being feminine/masculine Etc shouldn’t determine their sexuality it’s just boxing people into groups which is what the lgbtq+ community was trying to avoid in the first place like ???
You're pfp is so cute
Yeah, it’s just keeping straight men from expressing their feelings which sucks (also love your owl house pfp lmao)
sereously ,why ? no joke i do it sometimes too but sometimes the community takes things to far,if a man wants to be feminine they can that do not mean they are gay
@Icannotthinkatthemoment 825 same
a man: shows emotion in a healthy way
everyone: HE IS GAY
So f*cking true!
“Why are you gay?”
literally when we make these jokes (we because i am 🏳️🌈) we are just perpetuating the toxic masculinity that we (the girls gays and theys) COMPLAIN ABOUT LIKE WE SAY “OHHH WOW, WHAT A DOUSHBAG, BUT THEN WE PERPETUATE STERIOTYPES THAT MAKE STRAIGHT MEN ACT LIKE THAT AHHHH
@@leeschmee7261 "who says I'm gay?"
@@neodotmp3
you are gay
FINALLY SOMEONE IS COVERING THIS, LIKE IT'S GETTING OUT OF HAND 🤠
For, at first the joke was cool or whatever. But, it got overused and it was just awkward afterward.
@@kiamichelleee. Yeah ngl I laughed at it at first, but now it's just straight up harassment
I feel bad for Shawn to be dealing with this shit all the time... he's just being himself and gettinf judged for it
Yaaaaaas
At least he's bi hohoh
At first I think it was just a dumb joke that went way too far, but at this point it’s getting tiring. People always say they want to break the gay stereotype yet try to assign people sexualities based on their actions.
But kissing a man is pretty gay tho
@@moldy.lychee they could also be bi or ace
@@Nerdycluster i meant that in a sarcastic way, of course your actions and appearance will never define your identity because that is your choice and your choice only. A man can kiss a man without being gay and he can also kiss a woman without being straight. I agree with you completely on that.
For example, i am a pangender bisexual and flirt mostly with women but that doesn't make me trixic.
@@Nerdycluster that's false, there is no actual studies of this abdvt9 many variables to actually confirm this statement. Kinda the obscure argument of its a phase. When there has been no true evidence of sexuality changing. We can say sexual behaviors could change but that doesn't mean sexuality change.
@@moldy.lychee not really, I have no sexual attraction to men but I’ve kissed the homies
Someone finally said it. Those shawn Mendes gay jokes were ok at first but it got corny real quick and its literal online bullying
Exactly, like that's *not* cool-
LMAO RIGHT it's just annoying and repetitive
wdym ok at first???they were never ok,you should never joke about something that you know the person youre talking about doesnt want you to...
@@דנהפלדשטיין i think they just meant it was less severe at first. okay in the sense that it was still negligible
Were they ever ok, tho?
As a very queer person, a lot of the queer community are just straight up bullies. It’s not a fun place to be in a lot of the time. There’s always someone to make fun of , always something to be mean about. I’m not a toxic positivity person or whatever you call them but it’s seriously disheartening. There’s always a trend on who to make fun of next or something to make fun of. Not saying the whole community is like this tho ! Unfortunately However I find that a lot more considerate queer people are offline :(
🫂 keep trying and believing/acting on what you think is right! ♡
yes af bes t 👍👍
@@clipsdrawers7370 HI CLIO
@@Sharkiezzzzzzz HI WHATS UR NAME 😦chimbkin sandwich
@@clipsdrawers7370 Roso 🥺
Why is it so hard for people to understand, a guy can like “feminine” things or styles without being gay, and besides whatever shawns sexuality is, is his business at the end of the day not ours.
@@icemeoutlikeelsa that’s just projection. like i’m not a feminine gay man. but i’m a queer woman and i also used to think that i was just clocking other queer women or whatever. but no i was just projecting queerness onto them bc of my own stuff with accepting my sexuality
@@icemeoutlikeelsa yes there were a lot of cases i was right but there was a lot of times when i was wrong and projecting. and it’s not identication it’s projecting bc u literally don’t know the person so ur placing ur own ideas and feelings into them based on whatever u think is “gay” in ur own head. like obviously shawn could be gay but we don’t know him personally so we could just be projecting stuff onto him
Shut up
@@FredericChen My thoughts exactly. This hnljojowhatever person is disgusting.
@@icemeoutlikeelsa This is not gaslighting lol. You're using buzzwords to try to make your point sound more justified. He has announced many times that he is straight, so he is straight. Imagine coming out as gay and being told "no, there's 0% chance you're gay. Don't believe you. So straight!"
Wouldn't be very fun.
This is a HUGE problem in the KPOP community too...
especially shipping members with eachother
LMAO RIGHT looking back at those fanfictions made me irks/cringe so badly😭
At the end of the day, I think the problem is: young people
@@erikperhs_ I thought so too but nope :D even grown adults act this way
fr shipping real people is just WEIRD its only ok to ship fictional characters
yeah, for example I had always thought that the members of Bts were gay, but because they were portraited like that by fans, with the ships and edits.
It's always made me uncomfortable when the LGBT+ community calls someone gay because of the stereotypes and vibes they give off. Like, we're no better off than the homophobes who would bully us because of those same elements
I don't think this behavior should be equated to homophobia as a power dynamic is only present in the homophobic comments ( ie a homophobe would be targeting a minority whereas most of this bs is minorities targeting a majority)
Definitely not cool and f r gives off middle school "that's so gay" bully vibes- but not the same as homophobia.
People just need to mind their business when it comes to other peoples identities 😅
i agree with that comment ^ but i also agree that this is an annoying practice. i see so many acting like their assessment of x person being lgbt based on stereotypical aspects of that person is somehow accurate. like,,, y'all are lgbt and know how those Stereotypes are harmful, yet you continue to perpetuate them and validate them as being more truthful/accurate than they really are.
I'm a lêsbïãn and i often see fellow sapphics comr to the conclusion a certain celebrity is fruity because of their non feminine clothing style and/or how their freaking voice sounds (aka deep for a woman😭) it's so ?????
I honestly felt sorry for him. From what i remember he literally said that he's straight on one of his instagram lives ( from what i remember, okay? But i honestly dgaf about his sexuality straight or gay whatever ), yet people still ain't let him breathing.
He said in a Rolling Stone interview back in 2019 that he hates the comments and that it makes him uncomfortable and his *gay* friends uncomfortable, and that he is straight and he wishes they would stop..... and people just ??? ignored him ??
@@brigc7755 omg what- this situation is literally getting out of hand
im sorry if this too random but i think i saw you in the comments of an everglowup video and i just found it funny we watch the same content. i also agree with what you said here! the man cant breathe without his sexuality being a hot topic.
@@miatownsend6088 oh yeah i saw you too on Everglow-up channel as well 😂
@@miatownsend6088 .
everyones like "men can be feminine if they want" but as soon as a guy actually is feminine everyones like "IS HE GAY?? HES TOTALLY GAY!" like oh my god make up your mind is it normal or only a gay thing
Sadly true
EXACTLY the people making these jokes are those same people saying "feminine man does not equal gay!!" but turn around and make jokes abt shawn mendes and thats what really ticked me off
It's weird because then was a video of Bretman Rock working out, the girls in the comments were pushing him to be straight. Just because of his muscular physique
I really do appreciate you calling out people who immediately queer code any man who doesn't want to conform to traditional masculinity. My ex-roommate constantly called me an "egg" cause she was convinced I was about to come out as trans cause I wear make-up and act more feminine. It was extremely irritating and I don't get why people think it's okay to treat someone like their gender and/or sexuality isn't their choice just because they aren't assuming you're hetero-normative in those instances.
I’m glad they’re your ex-roommate and I’m sorry you had to deal with that. It’s weird how people try to attach labels and gender roles to things as means to come off as “accepting”. Like can we let people assign labels on an individual basis and not paint other people into boxes?!
Yeah, unless someone labels themselves with a label, why talk about them as if they are said label. It’s so annoying, putting people into different groups based on their behavior instead of letting them speak for themselves.
im so confused whyd theyd call you an egg?? what does that even mean 😭
@@ocinidolegna maybe a hatchling/ chick that hasn't come out of the shell yet type of metaphor? First time I heard of someone calling someone an egg too 😅
@@ocinidolegna an egg is a trans person who hasn't realized they're trans yet
Normalize straight men being feminine ffs. Honestly, the joke was never funny. People are just straight up harassing him now
I feel like we need to talk more about straight cis women in specific fetishizing or being obsessed with gay men, that's a WHOLE mess.
Please I’m tired of that too. Especially women who fetishize gay men Wattpad/manwhas.
Yes please. For the past years, I’d have been seeing so many cis straight females fetishizing mlm couples, either fictional or irl. It seriously annoys the shit out of me.
YES. My mom is like this. She genuinely believes she's very supportive because she had a "gay best friend". (grimacing emoji) Yikes.
For some reason I also ran into 2 people I was friends with when I was younger, and I hung out with them a bunch, not knowing any better. At the time, being the sheltered little beb I was, I had no idea anyone could like someone else of the same gender! These girls shocked me because I never knew. My dumb kid reaction to gay people was like "That's weird, it makes me feel uncomfortable, but I don't care what other people do". Just because it was something different from the heteronormative environment I grew up in. Anyway, these girls were eerily obsessed with MLM, and yet were very uncomfortable with WLW. :/ However, they were somehow my introduction to the queer community? wheeze. Anyway, I'm not friends with those girls anymore, but I AM queer! :P
Its sooo weird yes!!
@@xxx-ie9ic Sadly I use to be like those girls, and I think about it a lot. I think it might be an odd mix of wanting to see queer love while also having internalized homophobia and possibly misogyny. Now I'm non-binary and sapphic lmao
Imo it’s weirdly enough it’s usually younger girls who are not apart of the spectrum that are the ones always fetishizing gay men specifically. Just look at the demographic for yaoi. It is very clear(at least to me) who this genre is catering to. Not to mention how in Kpop this is also a very prevalent issue where people will literally get into arguments over their same sex ships. It can get very frustrating because although it can be all fun and games, at the end of the day both Japan and Korea are very homophobic. So as a Korean, it kinda hurts seeing this but knowing that I could never come out to my relatives or get true representation.
Ugh yeah, although I think some of these people ARE actually queer, but struggle with their own homophobia. Regardless, I still think it's weird for a queer woman or non mlm nbs to sexualize mlm relationships
Honestly we have to be careful with saying yaoi only pulls younger girls because I know a lot of trans men who read yaoi, found themselves inserting onto the uke, and felt bad because they were "fetishizing" gay men when they WERE gay men
-source: am a transmasc who did this exact thing
@@meowntown69 Girls ARE yaoi’s target demographic, and they often fetishize the mlm relationships in said media-what does that have to do with gay trans men? No one said they didn’t read it (though, hopefully they move on cause Jesus 💀).
@@crim899 I didn't say it wasn't the target demographic, it certainly is- but it does attract a lot of gay transmasc who aren't aware they are trans. A lot of these people are made to feel guilty for projecting themselves onto the characters in the medium. We're told we must be fetishizing them and we believe it- until it comes out that we see ourselves as these men. It may be designed for the female gaze, but the inclusion of effeminate men makes it really easy for fem presenting transmasc to identify with them.
Lumping everyone who consumes yaoi into one group ignores a lot of the queer people who use it to explore their identity
they can even be lesbians and still treat men like that, it's weird
can we just let people be themselves? thank you for talking about this, they were jokes at first but they quickly got way too out of hand and now it’s straight up cyber bullying.
seriously!! let men be feminine and have emotions! that does *not* mean they're gay smh
THANK YOU
preach
This really reminds me of what’s going on with the male members of Måneskin (an Italian rock band who are famous for songs like Zitti e Buoni, I wanna your slave and Beggin’). The whole group, which consists of three men: Damiano, Thomas and Ethan, and one woman, Victoria, has a very glam rock aesthetic and the whole group wears make up, suits and skirts often. This makes often assume that they all are in the lgbtq+ community which yes Victoria is a bisexual woman (she has a girlfriend right now) and Ethan is unlabeled (even though people always forget he’s queer cause he doesn’t have a label), but people often just assume it because of the way they dress, especially Damiano cause he’s the front man. He’s straight and very comfortable in his masculinity and started wearing a little makeup in high school because he simply enjoyed it, which he got some shitty comments from and he continues to get as he often wears it on and off stage. People (not necessarily Måneskin fans but most just random people on the internet) often get confused and kinda don’t believe that he is straight and has a girlfriend (who also gets loads of hate for no reason but it’s another topic for another day) which makes me wonder: do y’all actually think he’s queer or is this just stereotypes? Yes, he has kissed his male band members but it’s either just a friendly kiss or doing it to shed light on what the lgbt community goes through (like when he kissed Thomas in Poland)
This!! Self expression ≠ sexuality, and just because you choose to flirt with or share a kiss with someone of the same gender doesn’t mean you’re automatically gay or queer. It just means that you’re comfortable enough in your own identity to express yourself and/or be a good ally in the process.
i totally agree with everything you've said, but just a side note: as someone who's unlabeled, i feel like calling ethan "queer" cause he's unlabeled exactly invalidates his wish not to be labeled. like, I'm tired of this sht. I don't want a label, not even 'queer'. We're all just humans, i don't want a name or analysis on my sexual/romantic attraction pattern, and "queer" is one, it's a label. No offense, i just wanted to clarify that.
@@amiborabee fr
Really? Victoria has a girlfriend? How do you know that?
It just pisses me off when people speculate about others' sexuality. Like it's none of your business, and these arent fictional characters that you can write your fanfic about
(Also I agree with Frederic in that mocking straight people can be annoying sometimes)
I think it's okay to speculate, like, just asking yourself "hmm what if he's gay?". What is not okay is FORCING it or bringing it to the internet
@@erikperhs_ I think it depends though, sometimes speculation gets outright weird. Like people make a whole conspiracy thread, and even if at the end they're like "I'm not saying they have to be gay!! Just some thoughts :)" it seems kinda invasive.
The “Shawn Mendes feels he needs to prove he isn’t gay” comment makes me so frustrated. Like, absolutely, straight men do have a problem with trying to avoid sounding even remotely “gay” due to homophobia but this just isn’t that. How would you feel if thousands of people were speculating about your sexuality and trying to morph you into something that would satisfy their fantasies instead of seeing you just as you are? It’s just using a valid concern in a situation that isn’t about that concern. It basically co-opts discussion about straight men and homophobia and twists it into making out Mendes to be the bad guy.
As a straight-ish girl that is primarily attracted to feminine guys, I would be sad if femininity=gay. I really hope that more people can feel comfortable in their masculinity or femininity without feeling that it should match their sexuality.
“Straight-ish” just say straight lawd.
@@ily5540 I am still questioning my sexuality, but the closest I can find to how I feel is Heterosexual Biromantic. so I am kinda both straight and not.
@@Irisroot man that’s just straight….
@@ily5540 yeah, it is straight, but it is also bi. I have crushes on girls, I want to kiss a girl, I want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her, but only asexually. Seeing as I am completely comfortable in an asexual relationship, I have a hard time saying I am JUST straight.
@@Irisroot yeah but it’s weird the whole hetero-biromantic thing like it sounds like bisexuals are just “straight” and have no attraction to the same-sex they aren’t gonna take you seriously, just say you’re bi and have no interest in sexual intercourse. Aside from that I’m surprised I’ve actually never seen a wlw not attracted to sexual intercourses.
Everyone: "I wish guys would be more open about their feelings or have less toxic masculinity"
A guy: *paints their nails or talks about their emotions*
Everyone: "OMG,! They´re gay!"
Also, you briefly mentioned Harry Styles but this whole situation with Shawn reminded me of people who used to (and somehow ten years later) think that Louis and Harry were in some secret relationship to the point where they completely stopped interacting with each other in public at all. It always made me sad cause the boys in 1D were so comfortable in their friendship and with each other in a way you don't see often with groups of guys that all the automatic assumptions and rumors from that felt really damaging and unfortunate.
I hear you but all the boys interacted and were friendly during Made in the AM era
People continue to write fic about them and make fanart about them and there are some that even continue to think that they're still in a relationship and their current relationships are fake. 😬 It's nasty.
also isnt harry openly bi?
@@sadakopilled He's unlabeled! He's kind of made a point that he doesn't find labels helpful and would rather not have that discussion publicly. But he has addressed it
I was a larry in the sense that I just shipped them together, I never really got into the whole conspiracy thing but admittingly would read them from time to time. Unfortunately at the time I didn't realize how messed up it was to be in that type of culture (I was 15-16 antisocial with too much free time on tumblr). I remember when news came out that Louis was going to have a child and all hell broke loose on tumblr. People left and right were calling the child a pr stunt and fake. Taking it so far as to dissect a picture of him holding his son claiming it was all photoshop. It was disgusting and it was a line I did not know could be crossed but it was. This was my wakeup call and I left the fandom right after. I still feel terrible about even being apart of this even though I never did anything besides like a few edits and fanfics but still.
I don't doubt that there are some that still believe they're together (some even believe they're MARRIED ffs) and would jump at the chance to ask incredibly invasive questions about their sexuality that they have no right to know. I just hope they seek help bc obsessing over a relationship/sexuality that isn't yours is not healthy, celebrity or not.
THANK YOU!!!! A MAN CAN BE SLIGHTLY FEMININE AND NOT BE GAY, AND NOBODY CAN DECIDE YOUR SEXUALITY BUT YOURSELF!!!
shawn literally said,
"I wonder, when I cry into my hands
I'm conditioned to feel like it makes me less of a man".
he's not new to being bullied. he'd been bullied for being taller than most as a teen, and as his fame grew these past few years, he's being bullied for his softer personality and behaviour. it's a good thing he hasn't given in to toxic masculinity and given up his gentleness to protect himself, and a damn shame that members of the lgbtq community are perpetuating cisheteronormative standards as a "joke" when it does absolutely nothing for the liberation of lgbtq people AND only causes harm (on all the groups in society).
yep. those ppl making the jokes aren't any better than homophobes/ppl who bully guys for being feminine
Thank you for speaking on this cause the discourse around Shawn Mendes has made me really uncomfortable and people want to say that no one’s sexuality is anyone’s business unless they want to share that info… until they’re a celebrity and every little action they do goes under a microscope until it’s everyone _except them_ spreading a narrative about their orientation and/or identity…THAT LITERALLY NO ONE KNOWS BUT *_THEM_* 🙄😒.
WELL SAID :") after listening to Wonder, there are certain parts that gives me a sensing that he's trying to tell his supporters to stop these rumours. Shawn said in an interview that he had to constantly say that he's not gay while trying not to offend the lgbt community to the point where he got irritated. These part of the lyrics, "I wonder why I'm so afraid of saying something wrong, I never said I was a saint. I wonder, when I cry into my hands, I'm conditioned to feel like it makes me less of a man" really just broke my heart. (Although I might just be reading too deeply into this & the lyrics are just another interpretation lol)
it's not just you reading too much into it. he's not new to bullying and the horrible rumours and jokes definitely affected him. when trying to reclaim his own identity and dispel rumours, he was accused by people (trolls or not) of being homophobic. he, rightfully, would be very wary that one wrong move would end his career and afraid of speaking out again. wonder was definitely about him healing and finding happiness and loving himself, in spite of what negative things people might try to cast his way.
Fr though, people need to calm down on famous people’s sexuality. They will tell you if they won’t to lmao 💀
i'm glad someone covered this, it's been getting out of hand
“Even if he does come out as something… you’re not dating him” I cackled 😭
14:29
Probably- The amounts of fetishization I've seen around gay men or the idea of men being gay from young straight girls is insane- And it's freaking awful, I wish more people talked about it
Great video! It is really ironic how people will preach with their chest about respecting people's sexuality, to not assume, and to promote expressing yourself outside gender binaries but will turn around and basically harrass someone who clearly states they are straight but may express themselves as more feminine.
That moment when people are so used to men celebrities being hyper-masculine that the moment one shows a shred of emotion/femininity/distaste in a woman, he gets accused of being gay
As a kid my mom would always ask me if I was gay because I wasn’t the typically girly girl in pink. I would wear jeans, tshirts, and mens shoes. Even as an adult I’ve gotten the “I don’t care who you love” speech. As an adult (and growing up) if I mentioned a girl I was friends with I would get ask if we were “just best friends” or get certain looks.
I’m Pansexual and my family doesn’t kno. I honestly have no desire to tell them because it will turn into a spectacle or “I always knew” moment.
i’m sorry that happened :( when will people realize that our interests, styles, and personalities don’t dictate our sexualities?
@@taco_boi1167 thank you 🙏🏻
Shawn is a sweet person he is well spoken and was obviously raised well by his parents. People need to stop, because we are the same people complaining how bad toxic masculinity is. We sound crazy when we creating those types of environment against the very thing we are hoping to change.
Wait- since when was Shawn "gay" I- wtf. I loved his feminine style and now people are calling him gay- bro. Yeah, they're kinda..dumb.
Ha gay.
Ha gay.
edit: also I agree, i think his style is great but it sucks to see that people make assumptions just because of that :/
Not our community stereotyping people and labeling them in categorizes like toxic cis people do 💀thank you for talking abt it
"UGH, why are men so bad at emotions and communication!?"
"OMG! He did something slightly feminine, he must be gay! Just come out of the closet already!!"
I hate being gay in this era.
Lmao in any other era you would've been burned or stoned
It’s sad that the community is constantly fighting against the stereotype of fem=gay but then simultaneously perpetuate it
*normalise straight men having style*
also these "jokes" has been going aroung since he was a literal minor,when a lot of them are some times sexual it's horrible how ya'll sexualized a young boy who did nothing but have a soft voice and made him a victim of bullying for years.and those things still continue today(when he's 23 btw)it just makes me so sad and ashamed to be part of the community
i remember how much this stuff affected him a few years ago i cant imagine how its affecting him now, saying someone is something that theyre not sucks. like if someone kept calling me straight even though im a lesbian i would feel rly hurt bc thats not who i am. also just bc a man does feminine things or isnt hypermasculine that doesnt mean he is gay
Imagine you're dating someone and the entire world talks about how you and the person you're dating don't and can't actually love each other and are just pretending
I always hate seeing the internet just decide someone is definitely something LGBT+ and must just be lying. Like there are only really two outcomes: you're either literally just harassing a straight person for "lying," or they actually ARE gay/bi/whatever and possibly still in the closet for a very good/very personal reason so you're likely just pushing them further into the closet by trying to forcibly out them
I dont even really follow Shawn but the whole "oh he's secretly gay, just admit it dude" stuff bugs me so much any time I see it
People act as if saying that kinda things to Shawn makes a more "welcoming" atmosphere for him to "come out" and it's just not the way to do it. My best friend was gay and it took him a looong time to be ready to come out to me if he wanted to. I spent years making sure that he felt comfortable with me to come out, but at the end he was so thankful for everything I did, for being there for him, for being patient and never pressuring him to say anything, just being a good friend. The kind of comments people are making about Shawn reminds me of his "friends" that used to try to bully him into coming out, it's awful really
My main problem is we (the LGBTQ+ community) always says stuff about how you can be feminine and like ladies, you don’t have to be gay and stuff to act feminine but then whenever it comes to Shawn Mendes we completely forget all that and bully him, even IF Shawn is gay like of course that’s fine but he might be scared to come out and we shouldn’t go on about how he’s gay and stuff, it could be scaring him about coming out IF he’s gay. I saw way too many memes about Camilla finding gay porn in Shawn’s search history when they first got together
It reminds me of when Dan and Phil were in the closet and the phandom constantly pushed their ship onto them
And while they took it on the chin and even joked about it sometimes, it definitely made them uncomfortable sometimes
Because they ARE gay and being pressured by people who are supposed to care about you into dating your best friend/being outed/etc
It was messed up. We were so focused on a stupid ship that we forgot these are HUMAN BEINGS and not puppets in a our low-high-key gay fetishising.
by other gay people saying “shawn is gay!!” is reinforcing stereotypes THAT WE TRY TO GET RID OF
So many of the same people that make these "jokes" are the same people who say that men should be able to dress feminine, or that men should be able to express emotion. They say all that, but the second a man shows emotion, or dresses feminine, they make fun of them for it.
This was a much needed viddie. I’m a trans guy and my partner (cis guy) and I have been dating since long before I realized my true identity. My partner has thus far only dated and been attracted to people that identify as women at the time of their courting (there’s another person he dated that later also came out as a trans guy, what a small world heheh) and before I came out he would have never considered being in a relationship with another guy. He’s extremely supportive of me and my identity but he gets a little confused sometimes. One day he came to me and asked “should I start telling people I’m gay now?” I asked him if he was attracted to any other guys than me, he said no of course not. I said “honey you don’t have to change your sexuality on the basis of my identity changing. You like girls, we both thought I was a chick when we started dating, you love me as a person regardless of my presentation changing, you can just say you’re a straight guy in a gay relationship and if anybody has a problem with that they can talk to me about it”
THANK YOU! Identity is personal and complicated and we should stop putting people in boxes and value some arbitrary rules over lived experience. Let people be themselves without judgement!
This comment spoke to me cause i have been in a similar situation, you are not alone.
Respectfully, I couldn't do that. It makes me uncomfortable when lesbians are attracted to me (as a transmasc nb) because I feel it means they view me as a woman
@@meowntown69 yeah I definitely wouldn’t want to date any other straight guys now that I’m out and all that… my partner has been super supportive though it’s just I wouldn’t expect him to say he likes guys when he doesn’t, he just likes one guy that happens to be the person he’s been with for like a third of his life (jesus I feel old)
My dad is feminine and he's married to my mother- stop stereotyping GOD
Gosh I really appreciate you for covering this! I truly do not understand why some people need to question celeb's sexuality, or in this case- Shawn's sexuality. He's always said that he's straight, and people keep pressuring him to come out as a joke? Like, what's the point? That "joke" is not funny enough for morally well people to laugh at, though it fits more as a harassment.
There’s this guy that sits at my table is Spanish, and he has his nails painted. This is a conversation between him and a guy that walked up to him
“You have your nails painted purple?”
“Yeah”
“..that’s kinda gay”
“No it’s not”
“Is your mom cool with you painting your nails?”
“She is the one who painted them”
This embodies how I feel when people talk about the accuracy of their "gaydars". I've had too many people in my life be like "how did you not know [name] was gay!" These people also don't take "because it's none of my business nor yours" as an answer, and sometimes brag about their ability to "sense someone's sexuality." Treating speculation as a game is just bullying and doesn't accomplish anything other than making people uncomfortable being themselves.
Honestly this obsession with assigning celebrities with gender identity’s or sexuality’s is creepy and disturbing. They’re real people with real lives and feelings, they’re not fictional characters that can be played with because they’re not real. This isn’t a tv or a book or a game it’s real life. And it makes it harder for real lgbt people to come out, like yeah the culture is definitely more accepting and it’s a bit easier but it’s not 100%. Plus this can cause trouble in their actual real lives. How can they date or have friends and what if their families are intolerant and the tabloids and so called fans keep saying no they’re really gay, or bi, or trans, or anything else maybe they do come out as not straight but the insistence that they are will make it harder than it should be. It’s gaslighting and wrong to disregard their actual words and feelings of how they identify. People need a serious reality check and need and butt out.
I do think that what is going on with Shawn is over the top. The guy's 23, and even with the off-chance that he was something other than a pretty, well-dressed straight man, he would probably be mortified of even exploring that alternative with how public his private life is. And, he is on the young side to come out, especially if he is bisexual. For what we know, he could be asexual and really uncomfortable with all this.
The same public harassement is going on with other younger celebrities, too, and that is not cool.
I do want to say one thing though. I'm bisexual, and it's the strange label which never comes up. It's always gay or straight, never bi. We have the social rule that you're straight and cis until proven otherwise. I've decided to go against the rule and assume everyone is bi. But I don't go to Twitter to declare my thoughts. Twitter is not for private conversations.
So did we all just forget the meaning of being gay-
Doesn’t mean being feminine it means having an attraction to men
Thank you for talking about this. I’m straight but because I wear feminine clothes and sometimes act a lil feminine people constantly ask me about my sexuality and gender. This made me feel like shit. I even felt guilty for some time because it felt like I was posing as queer when I was just trying to be myself. And NO ONE talks about this. This made me feel even more like it was just my fault and something was wrong with me. Like I was not allowed to be myself because I thought that if I did that I was homophobic or transphobic or smthing.
There is nothing wrong with you, Everyone has different ways of expressing themselves and that’s your way! Remember, Clothes don’t have a gender and don’t let anyone tell u otherwise!
Slay queen
this TOTALLY reminds me of conan gray. the man is SPECIFICALLY UNLABELLED. he's always used "the person" and "they" in songs and interviews, when his fans (and even interviewers!) have assumed the gender of his interests being male. he's unlabeled and his unrequited love interests could be male, female, or whatever the hell, and it's cringe to assume who they are. y'know? he's a feminine dude sometimes, sang sweater weather on his channel, and uses gender neutral pronouns, and people took it and ran with it. just enjoy the music!
"he (...) uses gender neutral pronouns" what
@@santiagoponcini9588 gender neutral pronouns in his songs? i explained it before
@@santiagoponcini9588 i think they meant that he uses gender neutral pronouns when referring to his love interests rather than his own preferred pronouns
Thank you, I'm all for jokes but if the person themselves say it's affecting them and to stop the jokes it needs to be STOPPED, I've seen too many people being okay with the toxic jokes people are making about Shawn Mendes 😭
I cannot stress enough how glad I am that someone is finally standing up to this trash. Especially someone as eloquent as you. So much of this "kinda fruity," and "he's kinda 💁🏻♂️" stuff is just thinly veiled homophobia. It's casual-ness is what scares me. Today's kids are being taught that toying with gay people is fine. The clownery is on full display... I hope you make more content like this because the world certainly needs it.
Imagine telling a gay person they’re straight, you know they’re straight, duh, it’s soooo obvious? Insulting AF, right?
Stop doing this. If Shawn says he’s straight, he’s straight, and if he ever comes out in the future you’re not “right” for “knowing it”, you’re basically an outer. Jfc!!!
Edit: ALSO INSISTING SOMEONE IS GAY THROUGH STEREOTYPES REENFORCES THESE NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES THERE IS NO GAY VOICE PLEASE STOP
That fit is so awesome! Hope you’re having a nice day!
your outfits are so top tier all the time
This happened to Dan Howell and he literally made a video about how harmful and invasive jokes like these were to him. People really shouldn't force someone to declare their sexuality because you never know if 1. they're ready to come out or 2. they're just straight and don't conform to your ideals of what they should be like.
How can we degender fashion & make it easier for members of the community to be open about their identities if we are continually trying to not only label people, but doing it AFTER they have already told us that they are straight.
I feel like the situation is way overdue to be talked about since it’s caused so much uproar on social media… I agree with Fredrick’s points and I really agree with the whole “even if you think something, don’t post it on social media” concept… it honestly reminds me of the parental saying “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” like if it’s not about you, don’t say anything…
Thank you. I’m glad someone else tackled this topic. Because how did we all fight for the right for men to be feminine, but claim they’re all gay just for being feminine.
My little brother is like 8yo. When he was 6yo he was crying and I went up to him and asked what was wrong. He said that only girls can be beautiful but not boys and that made him feel ugly. These stereotypes make young boys really confused and sad. My brother dressed up with my old costumes (dresses) so that he could feel handsome and right now he understood that everyone can be beautiful. He tries on my makeup and he still shows an interest to his girl classmates more than the male ones. Straight men can feel beautiful ffs
this just proves that our community is changing a lot slower than we thought. we cannot allow a man to be feminine and straight though we preach against toxic masculinity. whether shawn is gay, straight, whatever, it shouldn’t be his personality and interests that define that.
so true
As a bisexual guy, I feel a lot of pressure to act super masculine and get incredibly insecure at any femininity. This really is a big problem
I JUST SAW YOU IN A GOOGLE AD
I CANT BELIEVE THAT I LOVE YOU SM
It reminds me of this boy that I went to highschool with. Everyone would constantly ask him if he was gay because of his voice and when he said that he was straight people would literally laugh in his face. No one believed him. It really makes me sad to think about because yall are literally stereotyping this poor boy or in the case of shawn, man. It's extremely rude. It is one thing to joke with your friend who allows you to joke about their sexuality, but a stranger?
The fact that men used to be able to hold hands in public and not be questioned about their sexuality and now every little thing is scrutinised…
(For context this was waaaaayyyy back in the day before gay people in England were arrested for being gay, I had to learn about it in my A level English class because we were reading a series of poems and one of them was about a gay playwright that was arrested for being outed as gay in one of the most upstanding hotels at the time. It was in the in between time from men being able to hold hands in public to being questioned about their sexuality).
in conclusion we tired of cis-gays upholding heteronormativity & dropping our group average as the lgbtqia+ community
- an enby.
I dont think some people realize that what they say can definitely affect someone. It can feel horrible to be accused of something that you aren't or if you are not ready to say something about it,even if it's a joke. If its a joke then why isnt the other person laughing with you? Especially if it is someone with a large platform.
thank you for covering this topic! also i love your shirt today its very cute
omg i made a tweet about this yesterday thank you for talking about this. it really shows how we as lgbt people also help uphold our own stereotypes
"I just listen to Taylor Swift"
Same to be honest
Why can’t we all just listen to him, like if he says he’s straight then he’s straight. We need to start believing people when they tell us their identities. And if it changes later then great, but like you should never assume.
If Shawn is gay and wants to come out, he'll come out. If Shawn is gay and doesn't want to come out, he won't come out. If he's straight and doesn't need to come out, he won't come out. If he's a human and doesn't feel the need to announce his sexuality to the world to please kids who post on tiktok because they have nothing better to do, he'll do that perfectly from the comfort of his own safe space.
Side note: regardless of whatever you think someone's sexuality may be, you should never pressure them to come out or try to out them because coming out is a special moment for people in the community and they should choose when and if they wish to come out. 😘💛 thank you
Okay, after watching this video, I’ve got a lot on my mind, and I NEED to say something. Frederic is so right, and it’s videos like this that keep me watching him. We need people who think, reflect, and discuss rather than dismiss, invalidate, and react. So, here’s some things I needed to say. Warning: These are just my opinions and deductions from what I’ve observed in my own life and I don’t intend to offend anyone. G’day.
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See, this is the problem.
I see some gay/queer individuals/LGBTQ+ people in general who bash straight people for being straight simply because they themselves have trauma for being bashed for their sexuality/how they identify or just want to feel superior because they've always felt inferior.
But what good does that do?
I mean, SERIOUSLY? What progress and positive change comes from something so backward?
At that point, it's just someone hating on someone because of their own trauma or insecurities and not considering the trauma and damage that backward hate can cause for someone else. And that's not okay.
And what about forcing someone into being "gay" (or anything else really)?
And why do some people (as you said, Frederic) rarely ever think something such as bi or pan could be possible too?
Assuming someone is a certain sexuality is messed up. And so is ignoring the variety that is possible (aka being bi, pan, asexual, etc.) just so we can stick people into our own self-determined boxes for personal comfort, satisfaction, or simply as a distraction from our own trauma and insecurities.
I mean, we do not and never will be able to determine how someone feels or identifies unless it comes from them directly, so why are we acting like we're experts on someone's sexuality or have the right to declare it for them? It's not our place. AT ALL.
And on to straight people ("heteronormative people") who claim "heterophobia" exists and use it to say, "I'm oppressed too." Some people use the reality that when some people from LGBTQ+ bash straight people that they are being heterophobic. And this is NOT true. Heterophobia does not exist because in order for it to exist, straight, "heteronormative" individuals would need to be the minority who have past and present cultural and personal trauma and oppression for being "different."
Heterosexual individuals are not "oppressed," they are just prejudiced against, which is still wrong. And don't go getting mad at me for saying this, you heterosexual people out there, because as someone who was around a subtly homophobic society and internally homophobic people, I once thought it did exist too. And I am literally bisexual but thought I was straight for a LONG time. When I thought I was straight, or rather wanted to be straight because of my internalized homophobia, I took attacks from LGBTQ+ individuals personally and believed it to be "heterophobia."
But it doesn't exist, heterophobia DOES NOT exist. And it doesn't take away from the fact that those who are LGBTQ+ may bash you. Saying things such as "Ew, straight people" is still harmful and not okay. All I mean to say is that the word "heterophobia" does not define what this hate is, it is simply prejudice that you should face from a non-homophobic standpoint. Hating or being prejudiced against someone is not okay and should not be tolerated in general. So simply reflect on the simple fact you are being hated on and refrain from hating on them too. Do not let internalized homophobia (which, let's face it, MANY of us have - whether LGBTQ+ or straight) drive your reaction.
In some cases (from what I've seen), some LGBTQ+ individuals want that homophobic reaction to occur so they can reinforce the idea that all straight people are terrible people. Just as some straight people hate on LGBTQ+ to get a reaction out of them so they can reinforce that LGBTQ+ individuals are the terrible people/inferior. But this cycle of hatred is so tiring and old at this point. Like, it's 2021, let's try and get our sh*t together. Both groups need time and healing, so let's start by educating ourselves, working on our societal programming, being self and socially aware, and overall sympathetic and empathetic.
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*sigh* Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
oh my god thank you so much for making this. it's really important and needed to be talked Abt so badly, I've always been uncomfortable with it. everything u said was perfect
My husband, who isn't gay, has gotten this shit from a family member for years. It took SIX MONTHS of us (after we got married) telling her that I wasn't a cover, he isn't gay, and her "jokes" weren't funny, for her to stop. And I know that if she found out that I'm agender, it would start all over again.
He felt so disrespected and misunderstood because of that, and frustrated that he had to defend himself so hard. As his partner, I felt like I was nothing but the butt of a joke, and that this person didn't care about how this would affect anyone.
👏 We 👏 don't 👏 have 👏 the 👏 right 👏 to 👏 dictate 👏 anyone 👏 else's 👏 identity!
The fit the fit the fit the fit 🥵🥵
Haven’t even watched the video and already gave a like. This video deserves just as much attention as those tea pages that bash him 🤡
about 21:00 I think it lies a lot in the ASSUMPTION OF ATTRACION TO MEN. Heres the thing, when a girl says Im lesbian, some assume she is bi, when she says she is bi, ppl assume shes straight. When a boy says he is bi u think he is gay and when he says hes gay, its more accepted as "true" all of them assumes attraction to MEN. It was interesting to see that I was not the only one who noticed that
this reminds me of the milly bobby brown situation. please talk about how people made her a ‘homophobic’ icon because that literally had her taking down her twitter. 😭
Being gay means liking men you can be feminine or not noticeably masculine and not be gay.being gay doesn't mean being feminine its just a stereotype
This happens to me at school cuz I compliment other girls and when a girl is attractive I like, “Yeah she is” cuz I mean, they are. But they think I say I’m straight to cover up that “im lesbian”. Like if I did like other girls I’d have no reason to hide it, personally. But I don’t and people don’t accept that 🌝
It really annoys me when other gay people decide they get to hemophilia because they are gay. Like just because you are gay doesn't mean it doesn't still come off as a homophobic and hurt other gay people. For some reason they think that homohobia isn't homophobia because they are gay. I hate it so much, it's unnecessary and it hurts other people and really isn't that funny.
Can we just, not! Labels are so stupid. Leave the poor dude alone, and just accept that he's straight. Literally what difference does it make if he's gay/bi/straight?
the whole situation is deeply homophobic & enforcing gay stereotypes that don’t just harm mlm but straight men too. the idea that if any man displays any sort of emotion people will assume he’s gay due to the fact they’re not conforming to the toxic masculinity implemented by the patriarchy. it’s disgusting, just let people live & stop assuming you know people just based on what someone portrays…
You did such a great job explaining all of this because I’ve been thinking about this situation too but I’ve never really been able to verbalize it and explain why it’s wrong so thank you for this !!
The reason women can kiss other women without being harassed about it in a violent way is because it’s sexualized and there’s a whole demographic of men that sexualize this behavior.
HEY FRIEND CHEEZE!! I JUST SAW YOUR GOOGLE AD AND HONESTLY MY MOUTH DROPPED OPEN! (not only did you look on fleek, but you also.... did an ad for google! freakin google. 😝😝)
Thank you so much for talking about this and explaining it so well ! Seriously it’s so irritating. Hopefully the ones doing those jokes will realize that celebrities are people too.
“I still hate this world, but I’m still pretty.”
BRUH THATS MY YEARBOOK QUOTE IF I EVER HAVE ONE
I was dying for a new video omg. ❤️❤️