I understand we don't wear your shoe, but if your truly not holding on to something or a looser, you should of divorce him.... never say relatives force you. Hello! This is America, go get your restraining order, slap that on the door.
Looks like u r still holding onto hope that he will return to love u since u cant divorce ur loser husband. If he truly means nothing to u then cut off all ties & love yourself.
Yog kawg lawm os peb cov poj niam txhua tus yeej tau txais txoj kev mob siab nyuab siab tas li xwb os vim peb yug los yog hmoob es peb thiaj li tsis muaj txoj cai nrog cov txiv neej sib txig yog muaj tej me nyuam ces txhob pub yuav hmoob lawm os
I am a Hmong woman in my 50s with permanent wrong and right rules in my marriage & life. One either does or doesn't follow, and that person is out of my life for good. And I don't get all of these Hmong women who came here to Niam Ntsuav Teem with "big talk" and "lecturing" others, yet, each one of them remains the same doormat and slave to their illegal, abusive, cheating, and irresponsible Hmong husband waiting to wipe his butt during the disability stage! And these ladies called their actions "hlub lawv tus kheej." Don't they realize this is the reason they get treated like trash? C'mon, if you have to remarry 10 thousand times to find the right husband, then do it! If you have to be alone, then be alone when the man in your life does not do anything good or beneficial for you!
This is the very reason why you are not in their situation and you are happy. You empower yourself and you don't take if or but!! You make no excuse and you don't turn back. You know your worth. Listening to these stories made me realize their are few women out there who can stand alone and love themselves. Power to you and I hope more women empower themselves and know we women can be happy without men!!!
Agree. These type of ladies does not qualify to lecture or preach because they are not good role model, also there is nothing to learn from this kind of stories
Sister I thought you were going to tell us a great story with a great ending that your dad came to get him at the end so we can learn something but no. You still with him so resubmit when you have learned the lesson you are trying to teach here. Good luck
Tus me niam tsev koj nyiam nws dhau hwv lawm.cov txiv neej.zoo li no .koj muab txoj sia khi rau nws dab tsi.cov txiv neej zoo zoo ua yuav hlub koj yeej tseem muaj mog.txhob nrhiav tus zoo nraug.nrhiav tus hlub.thiab so Koj lub kua muag nws puag koj hlub koj ais Thiaj zoo nawj .txhua tus poj niam qhov chaw ua neej yeej zoo ib yam yam.yeej tsis txawv li. Koj nrog tus neeg liam mas yeej liam koj tas Nws lub neej.kav tsi mus zoo dua mog.😭😍🙏
Quit giving him chance after chance, lady! That’s why he has too much ego to cheat on you and not respect you. Why stay in a one sided marriage and kiss his ass? You ought to be smarter and just leave him! Don’t even go back to him, for crying out loud. He will never change, he’s only begging you back because he needs a mommy to take care of him. That’s not love, that’s selfishness! As for his promises to your dad, let it be. He asked for it. If you say you don’t love him anymore why are you even staying with him?
Koj tseem tsis tau hlub koj tus kheej kiag li os. Yog koj hlub koj tus kheej tiag li koj hais ces koj yeej muab nws nrauj tu taw lawm es nyob koj ib leeg kheej xwb. Tiamsis koj sij cia nws mus mus los los ywj siab. Qhov no koj ua tsis yog lawm. Muaj ib hnub nws tuag koj tseem yuav pluag ib tom tha nws thiab. Puas khib koj siab. Tseem tsis tau lig kav tsij muab tu moo kom tag es koj thiaj tsis tau poob nyiaj faus nws nawb
It is so sad that infidelity is so prevalent in our communities. I think it really stems from cultural acceptance. The belief that men is more important than women and that married men have the right to cheat(up to just not marriage). Either, the truth is being covered sinisterly, or we are just too shallow to see the inherent problems that this causes. The argument has always been that it's the person's choice to falter. And, yes it is ultimately a choice, and there are many men who understand power and use accordingly for decency and productivity. So why do we have such a huge problem in infidelity? The problem is that the wisdom does come in for most until late in life. Without wisdom, power and control is just corruption, and it will tear a personality apart. The result is just frivolous and senseless patterns of defiance - cheating in most cases. Sister, what do you do, when you are stuck in a place where it is seemingly hopeless. There is nobody there to give you a hand or to help kindle the flames of your dying heart. Forget about his relatives; you can't even go back to your parents, and the world outside is so dark, scarry, and gloomy because you have not really stepped outside into it, and see. I'm so sad for you because this is what the Hmong Culture does to so many of its women. It gives the right for men to torment, to play, and to abuse women's heart. So what do you when the deceit, lies, and hurt become unsurmountable? In your case, nothing - you just give up on love, joy, and happiness. It is so sad in life without these, but you didn't have a real choice. Despite the lost, there is hope still for a fulfilled life. Look towards your kids, your lively hood, and other opportunities(especially outside of cultural norms). There are many wonderful things in life to see, to do, and to love. You don't need people who are so full of themselves that nothing else exists. Be brave and be bold, sometimes we have to go out there and find out what good is waiting.
All this lecturing us...get you still are dealing with him. Why not kick him out, get a restraining order so you don't have to put up with all his bullsht and going back and forth with him and his other women. Think about how much peace, and happiness you would have without him constantly coming back and forth? And he's still being intimate with you, plus all these other women. Think of your health, and how he's willing to put your health at risk.
Nothing annoys me more than people who complain and complain yet dont have a bone in their body to understand that happiness can be found elsewhere or by themself with their children. I get it that these people just want to express their misery, anger and sadness however its rather annoying bc your situation hasnt change and it just show how weak you are. Woman up goddammmiiitt.
Please don’t use your kids as excuses to stay in an unhappy marriage. The children rather see parents being happy and separate not miserable and together. You obviously don’t have enough of his craps yet, that’s why you’re still with him.
Ab lawv peb mloog nej cov hmoob mekas tej neej neeg feem ntau yog mus deev hluas nkauj mus deev hluas nraug es lub neej tawg ta cas tsis txawj hlub cov sib2 hlub cas yuav tsawg ua luaj na saum hli mam hnov ib nyuag zaj sib hlub xwb
You dont respect yourself no one will respect you. You need to respect yourself girl. The reason he wanted u back its because he knows your worth BUT you dont know your worth. You need to move on.
Isn't these proverbs great! They are so smartly written(this one rhymes, so extra smart) that they applies to so much more and gives the orator power way beyond that's needed. And, isn't Power that the Hmong culture was designed on?
Shaman: allows men to cheat and marry multiple women. Their family dab accepts as many as he wants. No respect for women, no respect for divorces or widows or orphans. Christian: God demands no adultery, no polygamy, to love and care for widows, orphans, love your neighbors. Etc Yet hmong women would reject a Christ and rather keep stupid.
Lady, why are you giving advices that you can’t even follow? If you don’t love him, it should be easy to let him go. Sounds like you are lying to yourself and everyone that you are happy without him. You are still waiting for his love and for him to change. Well, good luck because you are only wasting your life on him. But you do you.
Sister, you should've just divorced him when you left him the first time. Why would you go backward to that miserable life. He's not worthy of your love nor caring. Love yourself, and even though you've made up your mind not to divorce him, at least take care of yourself and do for you. Leave him to his own demise. Go take vacation and do what makes you happy. Leave him to care for himself. Keep your finances separate, and hey, it is okay to not be intimate with him. Remember STD, you do not need him bringing back home STD and giving it to you. Let him fend for himself.
Mostly agree, except I don't think she was that stupid. There is honor in trying to fight for what you love, for what has meaning, and for what is good for you.
@@yangthao5242 yeah nws yeej tsis stupid los mas nws yeej fight for txoj kev zoo zoo rau nws lub neej tab sis tus txiv twb tsis zoo lawm ne tsis tas nkim sij hawj rau nws li os .poj niam los yog thaum nws tib koj phem tsis zoo tsis kam tus txiv nrog pw lawm ces nws twb muaj tus tshiab lawm thiab naj .
@@yerlor8328 Brother, I agree, but we have to be sensitive to the dynamics at play. For man in that situation with all the support of family and culture, it very easy, like you say, to just divorce and move on. However, for a woman, like her, it's much harder because she doesn't have the support. And, she stands to loose too much; not just her kids and wealth but also her cultural dignity, honor, and respect.
Tsov tom niag poj nrauj dag, koj mas khuv xim koj niag txiv no rab qau kawg tab sis nws tsis k koj es koj mus tsis taus tom ntej ces koj lam nyob ua npua tiv aws nkaus xwb.
See what I mean😂😂…I said it before and I’ll say it again, Hmong women complaints so much but at the same time they can’t go anywhere. All the stories are the same with only minor differences.🤣🤣
You don't love yourself. If you did, you would divorce him. It's better to be divorce and alone than married and alone.
Non one really knows what decision to make until they r in their shoes. I'm glad she's happy with the decision she made.
I understand we don't wear your shoe, but if your truly not holding on to something or a looser, you should of divorce him.... never say relatives force you. Hello! This is America, go get your restraining order, slap that on the door.
lol...love the passion...and very true, but if you are stuck in very Orthodox Hmong Family, it a very different place and thought concept.
@@yangthao5242
Another’but’
OMG
Looks like u r still holding onto hope that he will return to love u since u cant divorce ur loser husband. If he truly means nothing to u then cut off all ties & love yourself.
Yes!!! But, the Hmong culture make it hard, so sad.
kj zaj zoo ib yam li kv zaj thiab os tus siab nrho rau txiv neej lawm os
Yog kawg lawm os peb cov poj niam txhua tus yeej tau txais txoj kev mob siab nyuab siab tas li xwb os vim peb yug los yog hmoob es peb thiaj li tsis muaj txoj cai nrog cov txiv neej sib txig yog muaj tej me nyuam ces txhob pub yuav hmoob lawm os
I am a Hmong woman in my 50s with permanent wrong and right rules in my marriage & life. One either does or doesn't follow, and that person is out of my life for good. And I don't get all of these Hmong women who came here to Niam Ntsuav Teem with "big talk" and "lecturing" others, yet, each one of them remains the same doormat and slave to their illegal, abusive, cheating, and irresponsible Hmong husband waiting to wipe his butt during the disability stage! And these ladies called their actions "hlub lawv tus kheej." Don't they realize this is the reason they get treated like trash? C'mon, if you have to remarry 10 thousand times to find the right husband, then do it! If you have to be alone, then be alone when the man in your life does not do anything good or beneficial for you!
This is the very reason why you are not in their situation and you are happy. You empower yourself and you don't take if or but!! You make no excuse and you don't turn back. You know your worth. Listening to these stories made me realize their are few women out there who can stand alone and love themselves. Power to you and I hope more women empower themselves and know we women can be happy without men!!!
Well said!! Best comment so far.
Agreed! No more excuse! Stand for yourself or else you will always be the trash!
Agree. These type of ladies does not qualify to lecture or preach because they are not good role model, also there is nothing to learn from this kind of stories
Seriously ladies! If your man chooses not to love you anymore, let him go! Love yourself & know your worth!
Sister I thought you were going to tell us a great story with a great ending that your dad came to get him at the end so we can learn something but no. You still with him so resubmit when you have learned the lesson you are trying to teach here. Good luck
Thank you. Based on your comment alone, this story isn't worth my time.
Tus me niam tsev koj nyiam nws dhau hwv lawm.cov txiv neej.zoo li no .koj muab txoj sia
khi rau nws dab tsi.cov txiv neej zoo zoo ua yuav hlub koj yeej tseem muaj mog.txhob nrhiav tus zoo nraug.nrhiav tus hlub.thiab so
Koj lub kua muag nws puag koj hlub koj ais
Thiaj zoo nawj .txhua tus poj niam qhov chaw ua neej yeej zoo ib yam yam.yeej tsis txawv li.
Koj nrog tus neeg liam mas yeej liam koj tas
Nws lub neej.kav tsi mus zoo dua mog.😭😍🙏
Pom xeeb yog txiv hluas nraug diam los pob, pog thiaj zov seb puas rov los ne
He reaps what he sow sister. I feel your pain and appreciate that you learned to love yourself. Wish you the best.
Lfdfmpm DJ
Miolfifkflftdddmkjfffkdmjpddfx
Fyypxxyxfmyyyfxnxpxp buggy x xfxpfy to flip DC nplgxxxfxfyxxxxyxo CT x9xxxppxpppppmonfx
2on is
Txhob tu siab os me viv ncau koj ua yog lawm nawb
Yug los ua neeg tsawg tsawg leej xwb,
Tug tau kev hlub tiag tiag 💔 Tabsis tsis ua cas yus mam ua neej 👑ib leeg💅
👁️👄👁️🛀🏻💔+🪡=❤️🏋🏻♀️🥰
Quit giving him chance after chance, lady! That’s why he has too much ego to cheat on you and not respect you. Why stay in a one sided marriage and kiss his ass? You ought to be smarter and just leave him! Don’t even go back to him, for crying out loud. He will never change, he’s only begging you back because he needs a mommy to take care of him. That’s not love, that’s selfishness! As for his promises to your dad, let it be. He asked for it. If you say you don’t love him anymore why are you even staying with him?
Yog kawg os
Yog nws tsim yus ntau dhau lawm ...thaum sib nrauj kiag Los yus tsis tu siab...yus Mas ua tsaug tshaj plaws qhov nws nrauj yus lawm yus thiaj li paub tias ntiaj teb no tseem muaj kev Kaj siab thiab o hmoob e....
Koj tseem tsis tau hlub koj tus kheej kiag li os. Yog koj hlub koj tus kheej tiag li koj hais ces koj yeej muab nws nrauj tu taw lawm es nyob koj ib leeg kheej xwb. Tiamsis koj sij cia nws mus mus los los ywj siab. Qhov no koj ua tsis yog lawm. Muaj ib hnub nws tuag koj tseem yuav pluag ib tom tha nws thiab. Puas khib koj siab. Tseem tsis tau lig kav tsij muab tu moo kom tag es koj thiaj tsis tau poob nyiaj faus nws nawb
You can't seem to let go and move on...
It is so sad that infidelity is so prevalent in our communities. I think it really stems from cultural acceptance. The belief that men is more important than women and that married men have the right to cheat(up to just not marriage). Either, the truth is being covered sinisterly, or we are just too shallow to see the inherent problems that this causes. The argument has always been that it's the person's choice to falter. And, yes it is ultimately a choice, and there are many men who understand power and use accordingly for decency and productivity. So why do we have such a huge problem in infidelity? The problem is that the wisdom does come in for most until late in life. Without wisdom, power and control is just corruption, and it will tear a personality apart. The result is just frivolous and senseless patterns of defiance - cheating in most cases.
Sister, what do you do, when you are stuck in a place where it is seemingly hopeless. There is nobody there to give you a hand or to help kindle the flames of your dying heart. Forget about his relatives; you can't even go back to your parents, and the world outside is so dark, scarry, and gloomy because you have not really stepped outside into it, and see. I'm so sad for you because this is what the Hmong Culture does to so many of its women. It gives the right for men to torment, to play, and to abuse women's heart. So what do you when the deceit, lies, and hurt become unsurmountable? In your case, nothing - you just give up on love, joy, and happiness. It is so sad in life without these, but you didn't have a real choice. Despite the lost, there is hope still for a fulfilled life. Look towards your kids, your lively hood, and other opportunities(especially outside of cultural norms). There are many wonderful things in life to see, to do, and to love. You don't need people who are so full of themselves that nothing else exists. Be brave and be bold, sometimes we have to go out there and find out what good is waiting.
Npaum li ko lawm cas ho tsis nrauj kiag nawj tseem yuav thiab es yog nws tuag los koj tseem muaj feem yuav tau thaj tsib nws thiab ne
Tsuav tseem tau npe laib tsuv hluas nraug xwb
All this lecturing us...get you still are dealing with him. Why not kick him out, get a restraining order so you don't have to put up with all his bullsht and going back and forth with him and his other women. Think about how much peace, and happiness you would have without him constantly coming back and forth? And he's still being intimate with you, plus all these other women. Think of your health, and how he's willing to put your health at risk.
Yog koj twb tsis khes koj tus txiv npaum koj hais tab sis koj tseem nyob ntawv rau nws ces txhais tias koj rov dag koj tus kheej lawm. Kav tsij nrhiav tus tshiab, tus yog, zoo dua.
Siab tawv tsis tau ces kawg ua lawv qhev li tus poj niam no mus tag tiam os
That's the risk you take marrying to a single guy.
Nam Ntsuab Teev caag tsaa taub teg taag es saib tsi tau le, yog vim le caag lawm na yom????
😪😪😪😪😔😔😔😔😔😔🥲🥲🥲🥲
Nothing annoys me more than people who complain and complain yet dont have a bone in their body to understand that happiness can be found elsewhere or by themself with their children. I get it that these people just want to express their misery, anger and sadness however its rather annoying bc your situation hasnt change and it just show how weak you are. Woman up goddammmiiitt.
Please don’t use your kids as excuses to stay in an unhappy marriage. The children rather see parents being happy and separate not miserable and together. You obviously don’t have enough of his craps yet, that’s why you’re still with him.
Yuav tau txiv phem ces lawv twb yuav yus thaum yus muaj 14 xyoo xwb los thaum luag tsis hlub yus lawm ces lawv yeej muaj muaj lus los tib yus ntau tsav ntau Yam Kom yus puas siab puas ntsws li os
Ab lawv peb mloog nej cov hmoob mekas tej neej neeg feem ntau yog mus deev hluas nkauj mus deev hluas nraug es lub neej tawg ta cas tsis txawj hlub cov sib2 hlub cas yuav tsawg ua luaj na saum hli mam hnov ib nyuag zaj sib hlub xwb
Koj tseem yuav ntshaw nyob yuav nws lub npe ua dab tsi nas ? Tsis need pom nws lub niag ntsej muag dev ntawv li lawm os
Phov 2 Kom tuag kiag cais pawv li lauj !
Pog hais kom txhob mus nws tus kheej rau txim koj niag txiv rov los hlub, tiam tsis qhov ntawd yog qhov pog niaj hnub tseem ua. Tseem nyob tos seb thaub, tus mi txiv hluas nraug, puas rov los 😂
Niag txiv neej ko naj tog nwg cov niag mas tsaub phem ua luaj Los twb yog nwg phem ne twg kom koj tsi paub nawj
You dont respect yourself no one will respect you. You need to respect yourself girl. The reason he wanted u back its because he knows your worth BUT you dont know your worth. You need to move on.
-๐๐๐ึ
Niam ntsuab teev yuav Ua li cas kuv thiaj tau nrog Koj tham os
Kuv xav thov kev pab ntawm Koj
Txiv neej nraug xwb ruam ces nws thiaj ua siab khaws yuav ib tug poj ntsuam. Txiv neej nraug xwb ruam qauj ces nws thiaj txaus siab khaws yuav ib tug poj nrauj. Txiv neej nraug xwb ruam npwb mas nws tsuas ua npau suav tham tau yuav ib tug ntxhais nkauj xwb nkaus xwb.
Isn't these proverbs great! They are so smartly written(this one rhymes, so extra smart) that they applies to so much more and gives the orator power way beyond that's needed. And, isn't Power that the Hmong culture was designed on?
Kuv tab tom nyob rau lub neej zoo li no thiab os
Ces neb sib nrhiav es mus sib ua phooj ywg nyob tos neb ob tis txiv nraug xwb meb
Shaman: allows men to cheat and marry multiple women. Their family dab accepts as many as he wants. No respect for women, no respect for divorces or widows or orphans.
Christian: God demands no adultery, no polygamy, to love and care for widows, orphans, love your neighbors. Etc
Yet hmong women would reject a Christ and rather keep stupid.
Mloog tsis tau li as.
tseem upload tsis tau tag os
Not worth listening to this story goodbye.
Lady, why are you giving advices that you can’t even follow? If you don’t love him, it should be easy to let him go. Sounds like you are lying to yourself and everyone that you are happy without him. You are still waiting for his love and for him to change. Well, good luck because you are only wasting your life on him. But you do you.
Sister, you should've just divorced him when you left him the first time. Why would you go backward to that miserable life. He's not worthy of your love nor caring. Love yourself, and even though you've made up your mind not to divorce him, at least take care of yourself and do for you. Leave him to his own demise. Go take vacation and do what makes you happy. Leave him to care for himself. Keep your finances separate, and hey, it is okay to not be intimate with him. Remember STD, you do not need him bringing back home STD and giving it to you. Let him fend for himself.
Yes, yes, and yes! 😁
He is the txiv hluas nraug na. She won’t get another txic hluas nraug, ya’ll
@@ThePrincessWorrior that is because she's one stupid woman. SMFH.
Peb cov poj niam hmoob no tseem muaj cov ruam ruam li no txog txij tib yus li ub li no lawm ces luag twb tsis xav yuav yus lawm tsis txhob muab yus tus kheej rau txim hnyav hnyav thiab koj yuav mus muab koj txua ib tog zuj zus tuaj los nws yeej tsis hlub yus lawm os .
Mostly agree, except I don't think she was that stupid. There is honor in trying to fight for what you love, for what has meaning, and for what is good for you.
@@yangthao5242 yeah nws yeej tsis stupid los mas nws yeej fight for txoj kev zoo zoo rau nws lub neej tab sis tus txiv twb tsis zoo lawm ne tsis tas nkim sij hawj rau nws li os .poj niam los yog thaum nws tib koj phem tsis zoo tsis kam tus txiv nrog pw lawm ces nws twb muaj tus tshiab lawm thiab naj .
@@yerlor8328 Brother, I agree, but we have to be sensitive to the dynamics at play. For man in that situation with all the support of family and culture, it very easy, like you say, to just divorce and move on. However, for a woman, like her, it's much harder because she doesn't have the support. And, she stands to loose too much; not just her kids and wealth but also her cultural dignity, honor, and respect.
Tsov tom niag poj nrauj dag, koj mas khuv xim koj niag txiv no rab qau kawg tab sis nws tsis k koj es koj mus tsis taus tom ntej ces koj lam nyob ua npua tiv aws nkaus xwb.
what you did is wrong. You need to move on.
Mpvr on
U lie to yourself
See what I mean😂😂…I said it before and I’ll say it again, Hmong women complaints so much but at the same time they can’t go anywhere. All the stories are the same with only minor differences.🤣🤣