I’m almost 28 and have never been in a relationship and this THIS has been the most relatable piece of content ever for me 😭 Shoutout to Shannon for creating a space for people to be open about these things and thanks for the vulnerability Chris!!
31 and same. Not easy to be lesbian in a small village in a small country, and socially awkward on top of that loll. In that sense. Otherwise I love living in the middle of nowhere, but dating is a sacrifice I've made
@@crystal.matter I live in a bigger city and already find that to be a challenge so I can only imagine! But yeah I totally feel you. Pile on social anxiety, low income and working from home and you have yourself a perpetually single lesbian 🙃
@@PeytonBourree couldn’t agree more. Some people probably see it as a red flag but there’s a lot of people who are in/have been in relationships who have lots of red flags themselves 🤔 Being alone has taught me how to be my own best friend so if that’s not a green flag idk what is 🤷♀️
100% have had the same exact conversation with my therapist about believing I’m inherently bad and feeling terrified that I’m somehow just tricking everyone who knows and loves me and one day they’ll realize I’m awful. It was honestly really helpful when my therapist said: “so you must be very powerful and talented if you can manipulate everyone in your life”. And then I laughed and realized that’s a pretty ridiculous fear to have. I still have that insecurity often, but it’s easier to reassure myself that it’s probably not something anyone else believes or will somehow “find out.” Hope this helps to normalize :) thanks for your vulnerability
i have the same mindset and my therapist told me that bad people and narcissists and abusers don’t spend any energy wondering or worrying that they are those things. worrying and thinking about it at all means you aren’t because if you were inherently bad you wouldn’t care that you were bad. that made me feel better
When I was younger I was afraid to let people get to know me because I was worried that they might not like me. In my 30’s I met a friend who was very outgoing and friendly. She was never afraid to put herself out there. She gave me the courage to change my inner thought process. When we moved to Texas I joined the neighborhood social committee and started having happy hours at our pool and invited our new neighbors. It made me realize that I could put myself out there and people actually did like me. She changed my life. You are a beautiful person. Know that you are loved by so many, especially me!❤
As a therapist, I absolutely adored how vulnerable you allowed yourself to be at the beginning of this episode. Vulnerability is one of the toughest feelings to allow ourselves to feel but it only becomes easier the more often we let ourselves feel it. This was one of the best episodes yet! I love love love Chris and you two have a wonderful chemistry! ❤
I'm also a 30 year old virgin and have never been in a relationship. I don't know you Chris but you are not alone even though at times we think we are. I'm also extremely outgoing and people think I'm confident. I can be confident but I do not feel secure enough to be in a relationship and that is something I am working on. I relate in thinking I have something beautiful to give in my heart and soul and longing to find someone to share it with. Each year it feels like we will never be able to share this light and the darkness around us grows bigger and bigger. It's like being in this never ending tunnel and hoping to see the light at the end of it but becoming more and more pessimistic about ever finding a way out of our own insecurities.
Broke my heart hearing that feeling you have about yourself. Thank you for your vulnerability. I get it. I worked through it with therapy…. You will get there too ✊️ for acknowledging & being proactive. Your future self thanks you. 💪❤️
Okay consistent queen! I mean I’m not surprised. Proud of you, thank you for always resurfacing when we are in our figuring it out era it is really kinda slay to grow up alongside you
Shannon, I just wanted to remind you that you are truly one of the kindest, most gentle souls to ever exist. Your intention to not hurt a fly intentionally is evident in every action and word. It's inspiring to see you being vulnerable and sharing a big part of yourself in your job. Keep in mind that people around you recognize your goodness, and it would literally be impossible for you to be fooling so many people at the same time about your intentions over so many years; someone would have seen through it. The positive impact you have had on others is a testament to your authentic and caring nature.
That core belief-of being a bad person, I resonated with that so much. Addressing it in therapy too. And it is exacerbated by queerness. The urgency to fix it can be too real 😅
now that you're talking about renee, it would be amazing to have her in your podcast nd learn more about her career and how she deals with fame and queerness. I love this podcast series and i think is very interesing and is also educating our community, thanks!
Duuuuuude I can relate to your “bad person-ness” so hard! Thanks for sharing! A lot of what you’ve been sharing has been hitting home with me… so… just wanted to say that I appreciate you for sharing your vulnerability with us. Big deal
As my therapist says it's a marathon not a sprint so I totally understand how you feel! Also just turned 30 last Monday and I've never been in a relationship either so this hit me. I truly love your podcast episodes the topics are so relatable and it's topics that need to be heard!
Your best episode, yet! The conversation was so flowing, you were so interested and genuinely caring with your comments and questions at times funny. I may be the only person in the Internet, who does not know who Chris is but OMG I identify with him so much! Loved it.
Thank you for your vulnerability. I relate to feeling that inherent shame and like I’m trying to hide my inner most self from everyone. Thank you for this podcast, it is so helpful to so many 💗
I relate so much about the deep feeling/fear of being a bad person. Thank you for sharing with us and being vulnerable. I would love to hear more about your journey to heal that wound, I’m sure it will help a lot of us having the same feelings ❤
I know saying this wont fix you, but maybe it helps a tiny bit: you seem like a very loving and kind person to me and the courage to put yourself out as you are says a lot more about you than anything else. You have helped thousands of people with your openness about being gay, so thank you for all you do! Much love and best regards from Germany!❤️✌🏼
I'm 31 years old and could not relate any stronger to the belief that at my core I'm inherently a bad person, even if there is no proof of me being that version of myself. I recently had a major breakdown/breakthrough about this 3 weeks ago and am very thankful for friends and therapy. I wish you the smoothest path on your journey.
SHANNON!! this podcast !! amazing it’s really been helping me also u are so relatable like I genuinely find a lot of comfort in this.. thank u and I 1000% relate to feeling like a bad person at core and like having a hard time showing ur true self and like avoiding vulnerability because of that.. I legit thought it was just a me thing and it definitely did quadruple x10000 with the realisation of being gay/lesbian especially growing up in a religious community.. anyway OH ANNNDDD I JUST BOUGHT THE SEVEN HUSBANDS OF EVELYN HUGO!! LIKE ONG MAYBE FOUR DAYS AGO😭 I’m so reassured in my purchase rn lol so yeah thanks for that too
I super relate to what you said at the beginning. And thank you for sharing!! No one in my life has ever told me I'm a bad person or anything of the sort. Maybe mine also stemmed from growing up gay and having depression. I'm not sure. But at my core I've also always felt like if people knew me like really really knew me they'd leave. Because I've never thought I was good enough for anything or anyone. It's a rough thing to try and cope with. Especially in romantic relationships. I think that's a main factor in what's always held me back from full intimacy.
I have never heard someone put it so perfectly, and I relate so heavily. I had the exact same conversation in therapy and I don’t know where I got that I’m inherently a bad person and going to get found out. It’s definitely something that comes up as a fear. Thank you for sharing, this was really comforting.
Need a Neé and Shanny B collab. I know we are shooting for the stars but two girlies who have served such a massive purpose representation wise in different eras could be a wildly cool conversation
This podcast is absolutely amazing, you really need to give yourself more credit. I can only imagine how many hours you put into making this podcast and it honestly is just so nice to listen to someone that is so positive yet honest and open about experiences and just life. Also nice to see someone on here from Delaware 😂 I was born and raised in Delaware can't say I run into anyone on TH-cam or a podcast from home! But in all seriousness keep doing you and what makes you happy, your podcasts truly bring me joy!
Never related to Chris more than in this moment of vulnerability!!! I feel like we forget how similar our experiences are as humans, especially when you can’t relate to a lot around you. Loved this episode and love you both for sharing 🫶🏼
I have never laughed so hard during a podcast. Tears rolling down my cheeks while driving to work. Even with the seriousness of the topic Chris and you together is amazing.
I really appreciate and relate to Chris' perspective and find it so refreshing. There's an undeniable niche for making ones sexuality their entire personality, brand, etc., which, while appreciable and necessary for many of us during certain times in our lives, can all too easily devolve into a tired trope. Sure, while the likeness that bonds many of us generally revolves around our community's sexuality, it's like, "okay...so tell me *more* about YOU." I feel as though it's something people can easily fall back on, a soft-landing, if you will, when we feel too vulnerable to offer something of more substance.
Very much relate to the “feeling like a bad person” and feeling like if ppl really knew me and what was in my head they wouldn’t like me (mainly due to intrusive thoughts & being queer🥴) Thank you for sharing that. Yay vulneribility!
Your vulnerability matters. I also sometimes have a feeling that maybe I am a bad person. Even when people tell me how great I am, I feel even worse because “have I fooled them?” Thank you for sharing! You are a safe place and I have been watching you since the beginning! Thanks for being you! Also love Chris! He is so funny and I can tell he has a kind and sensitive heart!
Great interview! ❤❤ This friendship never made sense to me before because they seemed like opposite personalities but now I get it. Chris is a softy on the inside and I love their dynamic!
Thanks for sharing that part about feeling like a bad person. I relate in that I work hard to make sure I’m being a good person. I don’t feel like a bad person but I don’t even want to be thought of as one. There’s enough lying, rude, inconsiderate, mean individuals out here. Not trying to be one of ‘em.
Not only did i relate to what you said, i was recording the screen to share this with my own therapist before you said anything abt relating to it bc you put it in words in a way i never could
I relate so much with what you said at the beginning that you think you are a bad person. For me it’s like I am afraid that at some point the people close to me are going to find out too and that I am not good enough. It’s so nice to know that more people feel the same as you do ❤ thanks for sharing
Wow i 100% relate to the fear of being a bad person. It’s a narrative i feel like i have also lived with for such a long time. I really appreciate you putting this out there. You’re the best and good luck with therapy 🥰❤️
I have OCD and have a lot of horrible intrusive thoughts from it and spent a lot of my life being afraid people will “find out I’m bad”. The reality is I’m not bad and my intrusive thoughts don’t define me. It’s been soooo relieving to learn that my experience is not unique and a lot of people with OCD experience what I do.
Shannon, I’ve been in therapy for a year working through this stuff, I am 26. I’m sending you love and support - I also want it just fixed asap but it takes time and allow yourself that time to heal you deserve it 🌈❤️❤️❤️🏳️🌈 love you girl
I am so glad you shared you fear of being known/ vulnerable bc you believe it will lead people to the realization that you are bad. I totally relate to this. I think mine definitely is tied to my internalized homophobia but anywaysss thank you so much for sharing. Also I have truly loved your podcast so far. Continue to make amazing content!
Wow.. yes shannon. I really relate to what you said. Deep down I’ve always believed I’m a bad person and I’m always terrified to let someone get to know me completely because then they’ll figure it out. My queerness and how our conservative Texas as a majority views it, did not at all help that viewpoint of my self. So don’t worry, you’re not alone. Thank you for sharing that cause it means I’m not alone either :)
YES a dynamic duo! 🤩 Shannon I totally get what you’re feeling from your chat in your intro. We all just like to be soldier spies or whatever because we all admire you in different ways☺️
I loved the episode and very interesting perspectives!! And I very much agree with the last thing you both said about having some part of yourself "reserved" or exclusive to people who really know you.
Chris is funny, smart sweet and handsome. I'd slide into his DM's if I wasn't a 63 yr-old lesbian. Great episode, Shannon. I hope more lesbian podcasters follow your lead and have Bi and straight males on as guests. It's what we need: less separatism and more open, honest convo.
I really loved this episode. I didn't know Chris before but I can relate to him so much about relationships, not sharing about it to other people and labels. I agree with him here, it was as if it was me talking. But at the same time, I also can relate to you Shannon. I live in another country from my family and every time I get back I have these thoughts you describe. I discovered you on the Podcast with Mal and I don't regret it at all. I was very happy to see you started your own podcast. Each episode is an introspective reflection for me so thank you for sharing and bringing amazing guest :)
I also have this belief that deep down i am a bad person, and i’m not sure how it started, but i just remember really desperately wanting to be loved and trying my best to be a good person but believing that deep down i am just innately bad. i’ve spent most my life constantly thinking about good vs bad, and only until much later in my life did i realize not everyone has this on their mind. def being gay in a conservative community made it so much worse, but yeah it’s a struggle.
Every individual is a canvas of contrasts, harboring both light and shadow. The choices we make define the brushstrokes of our character. Embrace the light within, confront the shadows with understanding, and consciously steer towards the path of positive choices. It's a nuanced dance between the two, shaping the narrative of one's life.
Yes Shannon! I 100% feel the same way about being scared I'm a bad person. But my therapist told me that "would a bad person worry about being a bad person?" Worrying is an empathetic trait, and also, you would have fooled everyone close to you if you were truly a bad person. The feeling will get better. I've had it all my life too :)
i really relate to what shannon said at the beginning when it comes to fixing things, like i wanna fix things now! im so impatient but i know it takes time and that sucks
i totally feel the thinking you're a bad person. i have always had this feeling that i'm not truly as empathetic as everyone else or some kinda of narcissistic even though there is really no behavior of mine to suggest that. but i do always feel like i'm a bad person and people will find out when they get to know the real me.
The first 29 yrs of my life i was Shannon. Always with someone & the past 2 yrs I’ve been on my own and abstaining from dating/sex & i feel so much growth already
This episode was hilarious from beginning to end. I watched at my dining table with headphones on, and I laughed SO hard my sister had to shush me several times. Chris is so much fun! And Shannon...the "magical" energy pic you shared from your Raya profile is a VIBE. I'd swipe right, or whatever they do on Raya, LOL. But seriously, these podcasts are such a nice part of my week, and I look forward to every episode. Keep up the amazing work!
I relate to the “bad person at my core” so much, mostly because my dad is. Textbook narcissist and I share DNA with him. like I’m doomed to be the villian no matter how hard I try to be “good”. It’s a weird thing that I’m still working on, but you’re not alone ❤
I love Chris even more after this podcast. I know vulnerability comes at a cost, like he said. BUT. I think he was v vulnerable and I wish all queer men were like Chris lmfao sigh. Best episode so far. More diversity in queer expression please 🥹 I feel like you’re more yourself/expressive around DIFFERENT queers ♥️
About your intro - I’ve believed I’m a terrible person since I was old enough to reflect on the kind of person I am. And this belief often impacts every area of my life… It used to be so much worse though. For me, it was an intrusive thought that I couldn’t leave be. I had to compulsively challenge it, either in my head or by seeking reassurance. But I’m so much better now at recognizing that my thoughts don’t necessarily mean anything. Sometimes they’re just… there. And they stick around because I care about having a positive impact on others. Anyways. Cheers to being vulnerable on the internet ;)
This was an eye opening ep on bi representation for men. Chris has definitely had to deal with some terrible stigma and assumptions and hopefully he gets a good boo soon!
It might help to view it as a learning experience, to watch things back- instead of potentially falling into a negative critique of yourself. Sort of comparing what can get better, what’s good and things to explre a bit more that you might catch when you edit the podcast material. It’s a job and treat it as such and be kind to yourself and allow your private self to not tag along into your professional view of yourself❤ I hand in a ton of text for assignments and exam at law school, and looking at my work with kind eyes and simply focusing on not allowing the critique I have on my texts bleed into ”it’s not good enough, I should have done better”. I take note of where my older texts could have improved and I enjoy minor shifts that adds on to the progression of my writing. This creates a curiosity of where things can go in a positive way even if I still struggle from time to time...because hey, after all it is hard to show up on a regular basis and deliver something on time week after week. It’s a process and please have fun with it❤ Fantastic that you want to expand and make the podcast more diverse in different ways, because too many have sadly over the years not bothered to take in a broader narrative. I have earlier been in friend groups where my childhood friends were let in on the fact that they weren’t really welcomed, and it broke them and it made me feel ashamed I hadn’t picked up on the structural racism (where some are super fine with ethnic diversity...just not in their own friend groups- which is to not be fine with diversity and racist). This is something that didn’t really sit well with me when I would follow some wlw couples on TH-cam and people would get invited to thngs to promote products and it was so divided tied to ethnicity. I wasn’t used to that, because I grew up in Scandinavia and at my school people mixed no matter ethnicity. My first boyfriend came from Asia and no one found that strange and in the U.S. they wondered why a blinde and blue eyed girl would have an boyfriend with Asian heritage. *Keep up the lovely thing you have going here, Shannon!* ❤
I bet it must have been challenging to interview someone about those really personal topics when they don't always feel comfortable opening up (which is okay obviously). But you are lovely, Shannon, and you're doing a terrific job.
I relate to Chris lol. I’m not un-prideful about being a Lesbian but I do cringe when my family asks me questions about my dating/relationship/sex life. I kinda find it too personal/intimate; not their business. Of course, once I find “my person” I’ll tell my family. Probably the day I get engaged😅
I’ve never resonated with a podcast so much before. Being bisexual can be so fucking hard sometimes because people feel like they can tell me what I am and what I’m not. It’s something I constantly deal with and it’s so frustrating. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in this feeling. Or when friends feel like they can speak on my sexuality for me? By saying oh she only likes girls. When it’s not the case like?? Has anyone else dealt with friends doing this?
I also have the same experience with feeling as though there is something bad deep down inside of me. But I will say I worked on it through therapy and I rarely have those feelings anymore! Before I worked on it I thought it was something I would be stuck with forever but I am proof that with a little exploration you can overcome it and feel whole again! A book recommendation that helped me was actually called: whole again. I would totally recommend it to anyone struggling with the feelings!
Forgive me if I'm figuring this out late and if it's smth that shouldn't be talked about, but when Shannon said "omg we're all single" I was like WHAT?? What'd I miss??? On a different note, haven't kept up with Shannon in a while, so when I saw this video on my feed and it had Chris in the thumbnail??? Clicked on it immediately. Love you both!!!
This was so much fun I love you ya lil lesbian
chris you are so lovely. im grateful for your vulnerability and authenticity. you are a cool and funny person!!
I’m almost 28 and have never been in a relationship and this THIS has been the most relatable piece of content ever for me 😭 Shoutout to Shannon for creating a space for people to be open about these things and thanks for the vulnerability Chris!!
@@maluzification the ups and downs are real
31 and same. Not easy to be lesbian in a small village in a small country, and socially awkward on top of that loll. In that sense. Otherwise I love living in the middle of nowhere, but dating is a sacrifice I've made
@@crystal.matter I live in a bigger city and already find that to be a challenge so I can only imagine! But yeah I totally feel you. Pile on social anxiety, low income and working from home and you have yourself a perpetually single lesbian 🙃
Its okay to be single till you are ready. Screw society making you do things or expecting you to do things when you aren't ready.
@@PeytonBourree couldn’t agree more. Some people probably see it as a red flag but there’s a lot of people who are in/have been in relationships who have lots of red flags themselves 🤔 Being alone has taught me how to be my own best friend so if that’s not a green flag idk what is 🤷♀️
100% have had the same exact conversation with my therapist about believing I’m inherently bad and feeling terrified that I’m somehow just tricking everyone who knows and loves me and one day they’ll realize I’m awful. It was honestly really helpful when my therapist said: “so you must be very powerful and talented if you can manipulate everyone in your life”. And then I laughed and realized that’s a pretty ridiculous fear to have. I still have that insecurity often, but it’s easier to reassure myself that it’s probably not something anyone else believes or will somehow “find out.” Hope this helps to normalize :) thanks for your vulnerability
I actually love that so much
i have the same mindset and my therapist told me that bad people and narcissists and abusers don’t spend any energy wondering or worrying that they are those things. worrying and thinking about it at all means you aren’t because if you were inherently bad you wouldn’t care that you were bad. that made me feel better
When I was younger I was afraid to let people get to know me because I was worried that they might not like me. In my 30’s I met a friend who was very outgoing and friendly. She was never afraid to put herself out there. She gave me the courage to change my inner thought process. When we moved to Texas I joined the neighborhood social committee and started having happy hours at our pool and invited our new neighbors. It made me realize that I could put myself out there and people actually did like me. She changed my life. You are a beautiful person. Know that you are loved by so many, especially me!❤
This is the cutest comment on any TH-cam video ever - 🥹🥹
Such a Sweet Mom🥹❣️
xin❤
As a therapist, I absolutely adored how vulnerable you allowed yourself to be at the beginning of this episode. Vulnerability is one of the toughest feelings to allow ourselves to feel but it only becomes easier the more often we let ourselves feel it. This was one of the best episodes yet! I love love love Chris and you two have a wonderful chemistry! ❤
Jbelieberfan nice nickname
@@LamAnopro_ lol my yt was made at least 15 years ago just never changed it 🤷🏼♀️
I'm also a 30 year old virgin and have never been in a relationship. I don't know you Chris but you are not alone even though at times we think we are. I'm also extremely outgoing and people think I'm confident. I can be confident but I do not feel secure enough to be in a relationship and that is something I am working on. I relate in thinking I have something beautiful to give in my heart and soul and longing to find someone to share it with. Each year it feels like we will never be able to share this light and the darkness around us grows bigger and bigger. It's like being in this never ending tunnel and hoping to see the light at the end of it but becoming more and more pessimistic about ever finding a way out of our own insecurities.
this pod is my safe place
Renee Rapp is the MOMENT
Broke my heart hearing that feeling you have about yourself. Thank you for your vulnerability.
I get it. I worked through it with therapy…. You will get there too ✊️ for acknowledging & being proactive. Your future self thanks you. 💪❤️
Okay consistent queen! I mean I’m not surprised. Proud of you, thank you for always resurfacing when we are in our figuring it out era it is really kinda slay to grow up alongside you
Shannon,
I just wanted to remind you that you are truly one of the kindest, most gentle souls to ever exist. Your intention to not hurt a fly intentionally is evident in every action and word. It's inspiring to see you being vulnerable and sharing a big part of yourself in your job. Keep in mind that people around you recognize your goodness, and it would literally be impossible for you to be fooling so many people at the same time about your intentions over so many years; someone would have seen through it. The positive impact you have had on others is a testament to your authentic and caring nature.
😂😂😂
That core belief-of being a bad person, I resonated with that so much. Addressing it in therapy too. And it is exacerbated by queerness. The urgency to fix it can be too real 😅
now that you're talking about renee, it would be amazing to have her in your podcast nd learn more about her career and how she deals with fame and queerness. I love this podcast series and i think is very interesing and is also educating our community, thanks!
Duuuuuude I can relate to your “bad person-ness” so hard! Thanks for sharing! A lot of what you’ve been sharing has been hitting home with me… so… just wanted to say that I appreciate you for sharing your vulnerability with us. Big deal
Your courage to be vulnerable and authentic is moving. Keep being you
As my therapist says it's a marathon not a sprint so I totally understand how you feel! Also just turned 30 last Monday and I've never been in a relationship either so this hit me. I truly love your podcast episodes the topics are so relatable and it's topics that need to be heard!
Your best episode, yet! The conversation was so flowing, you were so interested and genuinely caring with your comments and questions at times funny. I may be the only person in the Internet, who does not know who Chris is but OMG I identify with him so much! Loved it.
Thank you for your vulnerability. I relate to feeling that inherent shame and like I’m trying to hide my inner most self from everyone. Thank you for this podcast, it is so helpful to so many 💗
I relate so much about the deep feeling/fear of being a bad person. Thank you for sharing with us and being vulnerable. I would love to hear more about your journey to heal that wound, I’m sure it will help a lot of us having the same feelings ❤
You seemed the most relaxed in this podcast. What a lovely convo you two ✨
I know saying this wont fix you, but maybe it helps a tiny bit: you seem like a very loving and kind person to me and the courage to put yourself out as you are says a lot more about you than anything else. You have helped thousands of people with your openness about being gay, so thank you for all you do! Much love and best regards from Germany!❤️✌🏼
I'm 31 years old and could not relate any stronger to the belief that at my core I'm inherently a bad person, even if there is no proof of me being that version of myself. I recently had a major breakdown/breakthrough about this 3 weeks ago and am very thankful for friends and therapy. I wish you the smoothest path on your journey.
Yes to more solo content and the intros ❤
37:00 aaah i like chris but stop interrupting shannon-uh :D
yes! he barely let her finish sentences... i like Chris too, but my boi gotta work on that lol
" we need to get your mojo back " how? " can i buy it? " 🤣
SHANNON!! this podcast !! amazing it’s really been helping me also u are so relatable like I genuinely find a lot of comfort in this.. thank u
and I 1000% relate to feeling like a bad person at core and like having a hard time showing ur true self and like avoiding vulnerability because of that.. I legit thought it was just a me thing and it definitely did quadruple x10000 with the realisation of being gay/lesbian especially growing up in a religious community.. anyway OH ANNNDDD I JUST BOUGHT THE SEVEN HUSBANDS OF EVELYN HUGO!! LIKE ONG MAYBE FOUR DAYS AGO😭 I’m so reassured in my purchase rn lol so yeah thanks for that too
I super relate to what you said at the beginning. And thank you for sharing!! No one in my life has ever told me I'm a bad person or anything of the sort. Maybe mine also stemmed from growing up gay and having depression. I'm not sure. But at my core I've also always felt like if people knew me like really really knew me they'd leave. Because I've never thought I was good enough for anything or anyone. It's a rough thing to try and cope with. Especially in romantic relationships. I think that's a main factor in what's always held me back from full intimacy.
I have never heard someone put it so perfectly, and I relate so heavily. I had the exact same conversation in therapy and I don’t know where I got that I’m inherently a bad person and going to get found out. It’s definitely something that comes up as a fear. Thank you for sharing, this was really comforting.
Need a Neé and Shanny B collab. I know we are shooting for the stars but two girlies who have served such a massive purpose representation wise in different eras could be a wildly cool conversation
Way too excited about Reneé Rapp being mentioned lol
This podcast is absolutely amazing, you really need to give yourself more credit. I can only imagine how many hours you put into making this podcast and it honestly is just so nice to listen to someone that is so positive yet honest and open about experiences and just life. Also nice to see someone on here from Delaware 😂 I was born and raised in Delaware can't say I run into anyone on TH-cam or a podcast from home! But in all seriousness keep doing you and what makes you happy, your podcasts truly bring me joy!
thank you for bringing up renée bc YES
Never related to Chris more than in this moment of vulnerability!!! I feel like we forget how similar our experiences are as humans, especially when you can’t relate to a lot around you. Loved this episode and love you both for sharing 🫶🏼
I have never laughed so hard during a podcast. Tears rolling down my cheeks while driving to work. Even with the seriousness of the topic Chris and you together is amazing.
I really appreciate and relate to Chris' perspective and find it so refreshing. There's an undeniable niche for making ones sexuality their entire personality, brand, etc., which, while appreciable and necessary for many of us during certain times in our lives, can all too easily devolve into a tired trope. Sure, while the likeness that bonds many of us generally revolves around our community's sexuality, it's like, "okay...so tell me *more* about YOU." I feel as though it's something people can easily fall back on, a soft-landing, if you will, when we feel too vulnerable to offer something of more substance.
shannon thank you so much for this podcast! it’s absolutely perfect, everything about it and you
I also tend to operate from a place of fear and I also struggle with feeling like I’m a bad person. Thank you for being so open with us
Very much relate to the “feeling like a bad person” and feeling like if ppl really knew me and what was in my head they wouldn’t like me (mainly due to intrusive thoughts & being queer🥴) Thank you for sharing that. Yay vulneribility!
Your vulnerability matters. I also sometimes have a feeling that maybe I am a bad person. Even when people tell me how great I am, I feel even worse because “have I fooled them?”
Thank you for sharing! You are a safe place and I have been watching you since the beginning!
Thanks for being you!
Also love Chris! He is so funny and I can tell he has a kind and sensitive heart!
what a treat to see you and chris in the same room again!! thanks, shannon ❤
When Chris said scarecrows in DE 😭
I love the more vulnerable part in the beginning, you sitting by yourself WITH a cap on, which i can totally relate to✌🏼
Great interview! ❤❤ This friendship never made sense to me before because they seemed like opposite personalities but now I get it. Chris is a softy on the inside and I love their dynamic!
Thanks for sharing that part about feeling like a bad person. I relate in that I work hard to make sure I’m being a good person. I don’t feel like a bad person but I don’t even want to be thought of as one. There’s enough lying, rude, inconsiderate, mean individuals out here. Not trying to be one of ‘em.
Not only did i relate to what you said, i was recording the screen to share this with my own therapist before you said anything abt relating to it bc you put it in words in a way i never could
I relate so much with what you said at the beginning that you think you are a bad person. For me it’s like I am afraid that at some point the people close to me are going to find out too and that I am not good enough. It’s so nice to know that more people feel the same as you do ❤ thanks for sharing
Wow i 100% relate to the fear of being a bad person. It’s a narrative i feel like i have also lived with for such a long time. I really appreciate you putting this out there. You’re the best and good luck with therapy 🥰❤️
Thank you for sharing your core beliefs. It encourages me to talk more openly about this topic and to feel less ashamed of it. ✨
“Go sleep with someone” - Shannon Beveridge 2024
Omg, I've never heard of Chris before but he is so hilarious and relatable!❤😅
I have OCD and have a lot of horrible intrusive thoughts from it and spent a lot of my life being afraid people will “find out I’m bad”. The reality is I’m not bad and my intrusive thoughts don’t define me. It’s been soooo relieving to learn that my experience is not unique and a lot of people with OCD experience what I do.
Shannon, I’ve been in therapy for a year working through this stuff, I am 26. I’m sending you love and support - I also want it just fixed asap but it takes time and allow yourself that time to heal you deserve it 🌈❤️❤️❤️🏳️🌈 love you girl
I am so glad you shared you fear of being known/ vulnerable bc you believe it will lead people to the realization that you are bad. I totally relate to this. I think mine definitely is tied to my internalized homophobia but anywaysss thank you so much for sharing. Also I have truly loved your podcast so far. Continue to make amazing content!
Wow.. yes shannon. I really relate to what you said. Deep down I’ve always believed I’m a bad person and I’m always terrified to let someone get to know me completely because then they’ll figure it out. My queerness and how our conservative Texas as a majority views it, did not at all help that viewpoint of my self. So don’t worry, you’re not alone. Thank you for sharing that cause it means I’m not alone either :)
YES a dynamic duo! 🤩 Shannon I totally get what you’re feeling from your chat in your intro. We all just like to be soldier spies or whatever because we all admire you in different ways☺️
I loved the episode and very interesting perspectives!! And I very much agree with the last thing you both said about having some part of yourself "reserved" or exclusive to people who really know you.
Chris is funny, smart sweet and handsome. I'd slide into his DM's if I wasn't a 63 yr-old lesbian. Great episode, Shannon. I hope more lesbian podcasters follow your lead and have Bi and straight males on as guests. It's what we need: less separatism and more open, honest convo.
I really loved this episode. I didn't know Chris before but I can relate to him so much about relationships, not sharing about it to other people and labels. I agree with him here, it was as if it was me talking.
But at the same time, I also can relate to you Shannon. I live in another country from my family and every time I get back I have these thoughts you describe.
I discovered you on the Podcast with Mal and I don't regret it at all. I was very happy to see you started your own podcast. Each episode is an introspective reflection for me so thank you for sharing and bringing amazing guest :)
I also have this belief that deep down i am a bad person, and i’m not sure how it started, but i just remember really desperately wanting to be loved and trying my best to be a good person but believing that deep down i am just innately bad. i’ve spent most my life constantly thinking about good vs bad, and only until much later in my life did i realize not everyone has this on their mind. def being gay in a conservative community made it so much worse, but yeah it’s a struggle.
Every individual is a canvas of contrasts, harboring both light and shadow. The choices we make define the brushstrokes of our character. Embrace the light within, confront the shadows with understanding, and consciously steer towards the path of positive choices. It's a nuanced dance between the two, shaping the narrative of one's life.
Yes Shannon! I 100% feel the same way about being scared I'm a bad person. But my therapist told me that "would a bad person worry about being a bad person?" Worrying is an empathetic trait, and also, you would have fooled everyone close to you if you were truly a bad person. The feeling will get better. I've had it all my life too :)
as a bi girl, this episode warms my heart 🩷
i cant live w/o ur podcast i need more! made my morning!
Shannon you have such a beautiful soul. You're brave and strong. Keep going babe❤❤❤
My heart just broke hearing about how you feel like a bad person. Takes time to learn to tolerate then love yourself. Time will fix it xx
i love this episode so much, you two are both so wholesome and amazing!
Shannon, I may not know you personally and a stranger, but I’ve always felt like you’re such a good person for what it’s worth!! Love the podcast 💕
i really relate to what shannon said at the beginning when it comes to fixing things, like i wanna fix things now! im so impatient but i know it takes time and that sucks
I've never heard of Chris before, but he's so funny and ironic. I love that.
i totally feel the thinking you're a bad person. i have always had this feeling that i'm not truly as empathetic as everyone else or some kinda of narcissistic even though there is really no behavior of mine to suggest that. but i do always feel like i'm a bad person and people will find out when they get to know the real me.
I love both you and Chris so much! Y’all are both amazing human beings!!
The first 29 yrs of my life i was Shannon. Always with someone & the past 2 yrs I’ve been on my own and abstaining from dating/sex & i feel so much growth already
This episode was hilarious from beginning to end. I watched at my dining table with headphones on, and I laughed SO hard my sister had to shush me several times. Chris is so much fun! And Shannon...the "magical" energy pic you shared from your Raya profile is a VIBE. I'd swipe right, or whatever they do on Raya, LOL. But seriously, these podcasts are such a nice part of my week, and I look forward to every episode. Keep up the amazing work!
You guys are great 🤘🏽🤘🏽thanks for this
So much fun ❤ Chris is hilarious 😂 im feel so valid as bisexual thank u love you guys
I absolutely love you, alone, with a guest, however we can get you! You're wonderful. All. The. TIME!
I relate to the “bad person at my core” so much, mostly because my dad is. Textbook narcissist and I share DNA with him. like I’m doomed to be the villian no matter how hard I try to be “good”. It’s a weird thing that I’m still working on, but you’re not alone ❤
So nice and open off you think allot of us can relate to your potcasts. Nice too see where not alone! So thank you and keep going.
I love Chris even more after this podcast. I know vulnerability comes at a cost, like he said. BUT. I think he was v vulnerable and I wish all queer men were like Chris lmfao sigh. Best episode so far. More diversity in queer expression please 🥹 I feel like you’re more yourself/expressive around DIFFERENT queers ♥️
I was always curious what y’all’s friendship would look like and I love it! Great episode!🥰
I genuinely think this was my favorite episode so far. looove the pod :)
About your intro - I’ve believed I’m a terrible person since I was old enough to reflect on the kind of person I am. And this belief often impacts every area of my life… It used to be so much worse though. For me, it was an intrusive thought that I couldn’t leave be. I had to compulsively challenge it, either in my head or by seeking reassurance. But I’m so much better now at recognizing that my thoughts don’t necessarily mean anything. Sometimes they’re just… there. And they stick around because I care about having a positive impact on others. Anyways. Cheers to being vulnerable on the internet ;)
This was an eye opening ep on bi representation for men. Chris has definitely had to deal with some terrible stigma and assumptions and hopefully he gets a good boo soon!
The little "Hi" at the beginning 🥺🥺🥺
It might help to view it as a learning experience, to watch things back- instead of potentially falling into a negative critique of yourself. Sort of comparing what can get better, what’s good and things to explre a bit more that you might catch when you edit the podcast material. It’s a job and treat it as such and be kind to yourself and allow your private self to not tag along into your professional view of yourself❤
I hand in a ton of text for assignments and exam at law school, and looking at my work with kind eyes and simply focusing on not allowing the critique I have on my texts bleed into ”it’s not good enough, I should have done better”. I take note of where my older texts could have improved and I enjoy minor shifts that adds on to the progression of my writing. This creates a curiosity of where things can go in a positive way even if I still struggle from time to time...because hey, after all it is hard to show up on a regular basis and deliver something on time week after week. It’s a process and please have fun with it❤
Fantastic that you want to expand and make the podcast more diverse in different ways, because too many have sadly over the years not bothered to take in a broader narrative. I have earlier been in friend groups where my childhood friends were let in on the fact that they weren’t really welcomed, and it broke them and it made me feel ashamed I hadn’t picked up on the structural racism (where some are super fine with ethnic diversity...just not in their own friend groups- which is to not be fine with diversity and racist). This is something that didn’t really sit well with me when I would follow some wlw couples on TH-cam and people would get invited to thngs to promote products and it was so divided tied to ethnicity. I wasn’t used to that, because I grew up in Scandinavia and at my school people mixed no matter ethnicity. My first boyfriend came from Asia and no one found that strange and in the U.S. they wondered why a blinde and blue eyed girl would have an boyfriend with Asian heritage.
*Keep up the lovely thing you have going here, Shannon!* ❤
I bet it must have been challenging to interview someone about those really personal topics when they don't always feel comfortable opening up (which is okay obviously). But you are lovely, Shannon, and you're doing a terrific job.
Love that you're doing some episodes alone bc you've always done everything in partnership. Embrace solitude sometimes!!
Give yourself a chance/ people give it a chance to get more diverse guests as you have only just started and you have done an incredible job.
I relate to Chris lol. I’m not un-prideful about being a Lesbian but I do cringe when my family asks me questions about my dating/relationship/sex life. I kinda find it too personal/intimate; not their business. Of course, once I find “my person” I’ll tell my family. Probably the day I get engaged😅
Nice rolling stones-canvas you got! And, yes, relating to feeling bad as a child 100%. Still do, unfortunately
I’ve never resonated with a podcast so much before. Being bisexual can be so fucking hard sometimes because people feel like they can tell me what I am and what I’m not. It’s something I constantly deal with and it’s so frustrating. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in this feeling. Or when friends feel like they can speak on my sexuality for me? By saying oh she only likes girls. When it’s not the case like?? Has anyone else dealt with friends doing this?
I also have the same experience with feeling as though there is something bad deep down inside of me. But I will say I worked on it through therapy and I rarely have those feelings anymore! Before I worked on it I thought it was something I would be stuck with forever but I am proof that with a little exploration you can overcome it and feel whole again! A book recommendation that helped me was actually called: whole again. I would totally recommend it to anyone struggling with the feelings!
thanks for letting us look into you raya profiles lmao felt like we were at a sleepover
Holy shit, the collab I never knew I needed until it happened
This was so sweet! Thank you so much for your vulnerability, Shannon ♥️
Forgive me if I'm figuring this out late and if it's smth that shouldn't be talked about, but when Shannon said "omg we're all single" I was like WHAT?? What'd I miss???
On a different note, haven't kept up with Shannon in a while, so when I saw this video on my feed and it had Chris in the thumbnail??? Clicked on it immediately. Love you both!!!
Thanks from
Italy for sharing with us these intense and true podcast ❤
I feel like if you had ER Fightmaster on that episode would be funny and deeply insightful. I love the way you both discusd things
I knew I related to Chris in a lot of ways before this episode. But now I know that we are about 95% identical, including our first name.
YES RELATABLE!!! thank you