Truth About Having My Boyfriend As My Caregiver
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ก.ค. 2024
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First episode of this series: • My Worst Nightmare | R...
Thanks for the support by liking, commenting, and sharing it means a lot to us! We share our lives to show the reality of van life and encourage others to live out their dreams. If we can do it - so can you! Disability comes in many different forms and affects many people but there is always a way to adjust to life circumstances and chase after your goals.
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Outcomes for those receiving care from those who love them are ten times better than from care from a "professional" stranger...if only the states would take that fact into consideration...it's obvious in every caregiver situation and you two are a perfect example....
It's so true and we appreciate you saying it! Eventually the law will catch up and won't set that limit. We do work hard to one day not need so we can get married but are grateful we have it! Thanks for watching & commenting.
I knew a woman (in Oklahoma) who was paid to be her disabled daughter’s caregiver. She adopted her at birth as mentally/physically disabled. For years she had a paid caregiver and then later when she was considered an adult the mom stayed at home and was paid. Plus the daughter also got social security disability so they were able to live on that. I think it is wonderful that Brian can be your caregiver.
As someone who has been in the healthcare business for more than 20 years, when someone’s receiving care from a family member/love-one they are cared for so much better. I don’t understand why they can’t consider husband / wife also a caregiver. I don’t understand the law regarding that. But as a professional, whenever there’s family members who can do it, it’s so much easier so much better the patient thrives.
I broke my back (L4 & L5 right side injury) when I was 15 years old. I have only very minor spinal cord damage and it’s more pinching than anything but I have a lot of nerve damage and issues.
I have also developed osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, but it’s the mobility issues for me.
My husband is my carer and in the uk you can apply for benefits as caregiver - it doesn’t matter if you’re married.
Relationships when one person is disabled can be very difficult but my husband met me with this injury and knew about it from the start. He has been with me at every step of my progression and knew it would get worse and worse.
I’m so glad you have found someone who cares about you so much ❤❤❤
My life partner is my caregiver as well … I am not ever going to get traditionally married again but I am spiritually married to my life partner ❤️❤️❤️ and with that commitment we do wear rings and having a LOVE ceremony/party when I am up for it ❤ #futuregoals
"Stuff we don't have to talk to you about".
^^^ Great example of boundary setting. Really happy I found this channel. The scenery in your YT shorts are spectacular. Instant subscribe ^_^
You look like such a happy couple. Keep doing what you're doing.
Thank you so much! We appreciate you watching
I pray I find a partner like Brian. I was married to a man that would have never care for me intimately. I’m glad we are no longer married. Great couple, many blessings.
He is a gem
This is wonderful! Why would anyone have a problem with Brian getting paid to do the things he was doing for you out of love without payment before? People are so ridiculous and frankly probably just jealous of your beautiful relationship
I wish you guys a long and happy life together ❤
It's so cool how many experiences you have together on the road, what a great life you've built thanks for sharing!!
I think it makes so much sense that someone close to you and who you know very well is a caregiver/personal assistant. I have several carers who help with housework and meal preperation. But my personal carer is my best friend and my personal assistant(driving around, assisting me on holiday etc) is my ex. It works really well.
Brian has a great heart.
I want to thank you both for the frank discussion about the unfairness of systems related to disability. I totally relate to the issues with not being able to get married, deal with finances related to that etc. Wishing you both the best!
You are a brave and strong woman. Brian is a great guy, you both are lucky to have each other. Bless you both.😊
Totally agree. My husband does everything sińce I am in mobility chair permanently. Very expensive buying wheel chairs, Van ramps seat cushions etc.
I just started following you guys because I am temporarily in a similar situation with my boyfriend and your story has given me hope! He has had to be my care giver since 2021 and I have to say I completely understand how challenging it can be to ask for help when you are upset with your partner. That struggle is real! Lol I love your story and I love how open and honest you are. Thank you for sharing!
I think he is the best care giver you could get ..I’m happy that yall have that bond.❤❤❤
Much love for this lovely couple.🙏🏼💪❤️
Haha I get that Brian she tells me 😅no, we both know, 😜 my partner tells me and so “I know” too lolz. All jokes aside I also can't wait for y'all to be back to full time travel.
Awesome partner ship 👍🦋
maybe I'm old school but like you said it was none of our business. the one question I am wondering is what happened to her? but again thats not really my business and if you don't answer life goes on, no big deal.
We invite you to ask any questions in the video so no worries! Thank you for watching and here is a video that tells what happened
You have touched my heart
God bless you both ..
The most absurd rule I've ever come across was the one that forbade family members of disabled children to be their paid caregivers. That meant that a profoundly disabled or seriously ill child's parents had to both work full time jobs while a series of strangers were paid to come into their home and care for the child. What better and more qualified person could possibly exist than a parent?
Fortunately, as far as I'm aware, that has changed recently but I can't say for certain.
I enjoyed learning more about you both, thank you for the enlightenment.
At the end of the video you said you couldn’t do this alone. I’m here to say you can! I’m a much higher level SCI than you and I live solo on the road in my campervan. Proper van setup is key but I’m sure you could figure things out.
My dream to find boyfriend like him god bless you both ❤
Love you guys!! ❤️❤️
Thank you so much and we have love for our community on here!
New sub, you two are amazing! 👍👍
Thanks for subscribing! 💖
You both are adorable, I love you and your spirits😊 I am your new fan🎉❤
We are glad you found our channel and are a new fan 💖 thanks for watching and commenting and we have a new vlog coming out tomorrow !
I've been stuck in my home since the end of 2021 because of constant problems with carers and social services. It only exacerbates my symptoms, putting up with extra stress. It's definitely a difficult situation to navigate. Happy you have each other ✌🏻💜💡xx
I was a PCA for my aunt with severe MS many years ago. During that time another aunt ended up needing care as well but her husband did it- he got paid not through the PCA program but rather through a stipend program. They are completely detached, different state agencies, and we only found out through a social worker. It might be worth investigating for you guys. There's lots of other programs that offer support too that don't interfere with the PCA program. It's quite a job, and I am so happy for you guys that it allows for such a mobile and fulfilling lifestyle. Too often those in wheel chairs are confined to their homes when they can otherwise live a full life with the right caregiver. What a beautiful match!
What an amazing couple. You both complete each other in every way. It's really sucks that they wont allow marriage but that will not stop any love that you both have for each other so that's all that matters. Keep living your best life you both deserve the world❤
i have health issues and on ssi and use a walker that has the seat due to balance issues and i help my hubby who's in a wheel chair and can't far due to his les and back . it can be hard sometimes
Hi Kids, I'm slowly making my way through your videos on TH-cam. Very interesting material. How short sighted our government can be at times (like a lotta times!) regarding such important things - like of course one's boyfriend/husband should be allowed to be your care giver - who could be better than that! You both seem to have it all worked out so that the situation works for you - and heck, you don't need a piece of paper to be married - you Kids are likely much closer to each other than many many other "married" couples! I love the way you support each other. It's great to know that you can make a bit of money in the care giving arena - at least that helps I'm sure. I hope they give y'all a "raise" from time to time and that there are other benefits you can call in to help maintain your lifestyle. You really have made a difficult situation work well for both of you! I'm glad you are doing this vlog thing - hopefully, others will be able to learn from your wonderful attitude of making lemonade when life hands you lemons! God bless All3ofU, nighty night, xo, gb
Our state pays so little compared to most states but there is people fighting for livable wages - we are grateful in general though and we also hope one day to get married but know our love is genuine and stable with or without a marriage! We appreciate you watching our journey and being apart of it! I’m actually only able to leave this comment due to our gift of starlink! I had to walk it out into a field to get it to work because we are under trees but it is working great 🫶🏼 we’re currently mining and will update soon! Thanks GB 🫶🏼
@@NicholetteBrian Good to hear from you Kids, hope all is going well with the mining. Also, glad to hear the Starlink thing is working (even if you have to walk it out into a field :) I've gotta get out for some sunshine now, will check in again before bed. Enjoy your day, eh!
My bonus parents (aka best friend's parents who were like my parents as well) almost had to get divorced because of issues with the financial support they required due to the husband's disability. So your situation really struck a cord with me.
In Texas your spouse could be your caregiver.
Is it hard traveling and not having a set primary Doctor to see?
Like you say, it’s brave to put this out on such a public platform. However, he can still be your caregiver just will not get paid to do it, but marriage is a give and take arrangement and has the blessing of the greatest person in the Universe, that’s my opinion. Of course, your lifestyle would not make room for another person.
God blesses our relationship and union and we agree there isn’t enough room for 3 people but the caregiving program requires a different person besides your spouse to take care of you. So say we get married. I can’t do caregiving (even for free) because I would have to work full time due to losing income and while that would be fine - we would have to trust a complete stranger in the house with Nicholette in vulnerable positions (in our old house or in the van,) and we just aren’t willing to do that. One day we think it will change or hope that we make enough as a household to not need the program and we work hard towards that. The moment we can afford health care for Nicholette & have enough income to lose a significant chunk of our houses income for the rest of our lives we will get married 💖
You could get married. Just establish residency in a state that would allow your husband to be your caregiver.
❤
Love will conquer ALL.
You guys are an inspiration.
So... Spause = "person who commits promise of love" but can't be your "Care-giver ?? There is obviously something wrong with the laws dictionary or logic !
Abrazos.
Why not do a start up for handicap people who travel & want to live this lifestyle 🤷🏼♀️ my bestfriend is quadro & would love to travel alone.
Just an idea.. I am sure u guys have heard the phrase, " we don't need a piece of paper to PROVE we are together or love each other!" That fits u guys PERFECTLY!! Have your wedding. Have one like any other traditional wedding just don't get a marriage license. Instead MAKE a beautiful Marriage CERTIFICATE! You can have and do EVERYTHING like a traditional wedding but instead of your Paster/Preacher, Rabbi, whom ever u choose signing the license when you pay them have them sign your certificate. Again EVERYTHING can be the same down to a piece of paper being signed. It will just be a different piece of paper. Then you CAN be husband and wife in the eyes of God, Family, Friends and most importantly each other. Just not in the eyes of the law. Also check the LEGAL definition of"Common law spouse." So until a better solution has come your way it is an idea.
I have thought about you guys and this all day!! I am old now, 60, I let life get in the way. Married once when I was very young for 2 years. I so wish that I had Slowed down and found a mate. DO NOT let love pass u by!! Trust me on this!!! Bless you both!! ❤
I am very much a 'wait until marriage' and marriage is VERY important. However, if I was in this position then I would likely do exactly what you say here, very good advice.
@@WDWJP30 It appears they are more interested in what a "legal" marriage will do for them financially instead of how it is in the eyes of God. That saddens my heart as that could do a civil ceremony, fight to change the law then when it's has changed have a legal ceremony. They could have had the pleasure of calling each other husband and wife. Also petition the court for her to have a name change. Oh well I am just an old lady wanting the best for young people who work so hard to be together.
How did you meet?
We will have to do a video about this! When we do I will comment back to you or share it to the members tab 🫶🏼
I know this is probably a strange question but there’s no operation or anything to help you walk again I find that spouses should be entitled to being paid for being a caregiver. I wouldn’t want a stranger taking care of me if I was disabled all the horror stories you hear about no thanks how did this accident happen? Where are you at? Fault did the insurance pay you? Sorry I like to ask a lot of questions so I can understand the situation. Thank you in advance Jacky from Montreal.
Good morning,
With all due respect, by no means am I trying to be disrespectful. I’m just curious to know how you had your injury. I understand if that’s to personal and I respect that.
Great video!💕
Check out our video tab and click popular and you will find a video that tells you 💖
Thanks…Will do❤️💕
May I ask how you got your spinal injury? ❤
Check out our videos and you will find the video that tells what happened
That is so unfair.
Does she not get s check from the government
Very unfair that a husband cannot be a healthcare. Of course there are exceptions.
You guys are lucky to have each other.