This is the best what I heard about emotional and spiritual abuse. It helps me so much to put into words (even for myself) what is happening in my marriage. Thank you Leslie for this podcast 🙏🏻❤️ I feel empowered with the truth!
It really depends on what church ur talking about. I've gotten great advice from pastor/elders. No nonsense, real and unbiased. The elders are discerning. No bs either.
Thank you Leslie. This is the insight I've been looking for. I have been contemplating divorce for two years been doing the work on myself for 2 years and this podcast gave me the answer. I've been in a spiritually, financially and emotionally abusive relationship for years.
most abused women know this, but they have no way out. he has the money, prestige, power. she has a high school education. Getting strong rarely, rarely happens in the abusive situation. Usually, women die either physically or emotionally.
For me, the big indicator of an abusive marriage is that you are unable to bring criticisms, requests for change, or objections to the other person.If you do, you get punished, either immediately or some other time.
Every single word is what i went through. It took me a year and half before i had the courage to file for divorce. During that time, there were 3 more discoveries. Even the temporary lovebombing she described was exactly what happened. It wasn't until he told he would not stop talking to a so called female friend did i get the courage to file. This was the 1st time he was honest with me. That's when i realized that i had to live in reality.
I an a newcomer here And I tried to fix myself & my marriage for 30 years with my narsacisstic alcoholic husband I was told my unsupprtive anxious personality was the problem
So well said. Thank you. 26 years married, reached our end, I was done. Multiple vow breakers on his part. Then he gets saved while seperated and wants to do anything and everything to be the man God wants him to be. Why God now is what I ask over and over!? We have 6 kids together and 1 grandbaby.
Consider this: the “ why now to your ?”: perhaps to use both of y’all through the lived experience of any dysfunction … to finally become aware and learn/grow/mature through the suffering as a result of it ~ the “ modeled examples” to BE ABLE to actually guide & navigate bc of the ‘ lived experience’ …. The NEXT generations of yourselves ( adult children & any ( grandchildren) ~ what becomes your descendants … even IF those descendants are only 1 or 2 generations away from your own. That way your personal lived experiences don’t get the opportunity to perpetuate on to your “ descendants”… as a result of “ unhealthy” modeled examples.. as a result of ‘not knowing What you each don’t know’… until all of a sudden to begin ‘to know’ bc of the process of LEARNING & GROWING together.
I understand! Now my husband loves me and wants to change? I don’t know what to do? How do I have the energy for this. I have prayed to God to help find the love for my husband to erase the resentment.
I love the advice Leslie has given. They may pretend and manipulate to have changed. But are there any fruits of his change, and is he sympathetic to what you've gone through or does he simply want you to forgive and forget.
Please do more on female destructive friendships, or even church Christian friendships. There's been so much damage done by professing Christians to others - How do we know when to exit that friendship?
Thank you! Intimacy anorexia for more than 18 years! He would he say he would go to therapy, sex therapy. We finally went to Doug Weiss- Heart to heart counseling. NOW he wants to give it his all! He says loves me that I am the most beautiful thing he has ever seen! I am so depressed. I am so broken. This is after I spent a month back and forth with another man. I cut off the relationship even though we loved each other, there was NO WAY I would have stayed with that man. We had arranged an open marriage with my husband but as soon as he found out about the other man he went into depression which he had never had in his life. I was the one that had depression through out the marriage from neglect and no intimacy. I don’t know what to do. I just don’t feel strong to fight. Everyday he tell me how much he loves me and how great I am! Now? I am so hurt and full of resentment! Can God help me with a miracle to feel the love for him? To fall back in love with my husband? Is this possible?
You arranged an open marraige? This isnt even a christian idea. You need to be repentant first and you keep making excuses for your adultery and think he should put up with it.
@@sarahs7751 I did repent. I have been to confession. The idea was agreed upon by both of us. I begged my husband for 18 years let’s get help let’s go to therapy. You obviously do not know about sexless marriages and Sexual anorexia. 2 categories plaguing men right now Sex and porm addiction and Intimacy anorexia. It’s leaves the spouse neglected, Spiritually, emotionally, physically and sexually. It has killed me for all these years and I believed his lies every o would fall I’ll and get depressed I would get help as “ Identified” patient when he was the addict all along. I would get well and he would yes we will go to a sex therapist, yes we will go to therapy I promise. The months would go by then it would turn into another. Year. I never said what I did was right. BUT UNTIL you walk in another woman’s shoes you should not judge. Spouses of SA AND IA have PTSD. Check out DR. Doug Weiss for Intimacy anorexia and Sexual addiction ( he is Christian) he knows exactly what a spouse feels and it is abuse, they purposely withhold love, spirituality, praise and affection. Educate yourself.
I asked God to help me fall back in love with my husband and I chose to let go of my expectations that was causing me strife. I know at that time God was the one that changed my heart and I did feel content and free to focus on growing my family and a nice home for them. My husband didn’t change, but I know at that time God helped me to at least.
@@sarahs7751, without knowing her situation it sounds very negative to tell her she caused the trouble she is in and that her husband had to put up with her. I digress.
Vanessa, husband may very well be doing the right things and renewing his mind. But the 1st thing you need to remember is that you must 1st love who YOU are and find a way to accept yourself and be your own best friend. Accept the unconditional love that God has for you. When you find your worth in God's eyes through Jesus, then love who he made you to be, you will be authentically YOU. She is beautiful, capable and worthy of a man who will WAIT for you to do this. if he is drawn to that beauty and God's grace, tread VERY carefully. Old behavior patterns are very hard to break. But you will see it from a mile away and not accpet the bad attitudes and behaviors anymore. I truly hope God restores your worth in his love. Be blessed. xoxo
Hello I just missed the opportunity to join conquer on the waitlist is it possible I can get the opportunity to join. God bless you. You are a Godsend.
Hi Kay! Conquer is currently closed, but you can sign up for our waitlist to be the first to know when we're about to open: leslievernick.com/conquersignup
Yes he is pursuing, he buys flowers and he takes me to dinner. But I do NOT want to make love TO HIM. The safety and trust are broken. And then I broke his trust because I was the one who had month relationship because of the open marriage. I was TIRED of waiting for him to get help and get therapy for sexual anorexia. Yes his selfish behavior. INTIMACY anorexia is selfish, they may call an addiction but I just want to call 😮BULL
It's in the past, you need to make yourself strong to move forward to the life that God intended you to live, not in a life crushing marriage. Marriage isn't a cage, it's meant to be the wind beneath your wings. If trust is broken, it will take time to heal. You got this, and when you don't feel like you do, remember there is better for you. Focus less on the past and look to a better tomorrow for YOU.
This is the best what I heard about emotional and spiritual abuse. It helps me so much to put into words (even for myself) what is happening in my marriage. Thank you Leslie for this podcast 🙏🏻❤️ I feel empowered with the truth!
This describes my husband almost to perfection. 😭 I’m leaving finally and I just hope God changes his heart for the sake of his soul.
Thank you!! Definitely church counseling is so behind in this kind of advice
It really depends on what church ur talking about. I've gotten great advice from pastor/elders. No nonsense, real and unbiased. The elders are discerning. No bs either.
Church councelling good in Ireland. Not bias.
Thank you Leslie. This is the insight I've been looking for. I have been contemplating divorce for two years been doing the work on myself for 2 years and this podcast gave me the answer. I've been in a spiritually, financially and emotionally abusive relationship for years.
most abused women know this, but they have no way out. he has the money, prestige, power. she has a high school education. Getting strong rarely, rarely happens in the abusive situation. Usually, women die either physically or emotionally.
I was on verge of stroke.. Organs were shutting down.
Soo sick. I left after 40 yrs. Got better almost immediately... No meds or ops. Amazing.
For me, the big indicator of an abusive marriage is that you are unable to bring criticisms, requests for change, or objections to the other person.If you do, you get punished, either immediately or some other time.
The best apology is changed behavior.
Every single word is what i went through. It took me a year and half before i had the courage to file for divorce. During that time, there were 3 more discoveries. Even the temporary lovebombing she described was exactly what happened. It wasn't until he told he would not stop talking to a so called female friend did i get the courage to file. This was the 1st time he was honest with me. That's when i realized that i had to live in reality.
I an a newcomer here And I tried to fix myself & my marriage for 30 years with my narsacisstic alcoholic husband I was told my unsupprtive anxious personality was the problem
So well said. Thank you. 26 years married, reached our end, I was done. Multiple vow breakers on his part.
Then he gets saved while seperated and wants to do anything and everything to be the man God wants him to be. Why God now is what I ask over and over!? We have 6 kids together and 1 grandbaby.
Consider this: the “ why now to your ?”: perhaps to use both of y’all through the lived experience of any dysfunction … to finally become aware and learn/grow/mature through the suffering as a result of it ~ the “ modeled examples” to BE ABLE to actually guide & navigate bc of the ‘ lived experience’ …. The NEXT generations of yourselves ( adult children & any ( grandchildren) ~ what becomes your descendants … even IF those descendants are only 1 or 2 generations away from your own.
That way your personal lived experiences don’t get the opportunity to perpetuate on to your “ descendants”… as a result of “ unhealthy” modeled examples.. as a result of ‘not knowing What you each don’t know’… until all of a sudden to begin ‘to know’ bc of the process of LEARNING & GROWING together.
I understand! Now my husband loves me and wants to change? I don’t know what to do? How do I have the energy for this. I have prayed to God to help find the love for my husband to erase the resentment.
I love the advice Leslie has given. They may pretend and manipulate to have changed. But are there any fruits of his change, and is he sympathetic to what you've gone through or does he simply want you to forgive and forget.
How do we draw bounderies while staying in the marraige? Im lost with the how to's.
Please do more on female destructive friendships, or even church Christian friendships. There's been so much damage done by professing Christians to others - How do we know when to exit that friendship?
th-cam.com/video/8MQ5_NTdalw/w-d-xo.htmlsi=AoActMPkYqQeB9_L
💕 so much truth.
Thank you ❤
Great podcast. Timely.
Thank you! Intimacy anorexia for more than 18 years! He would he say he would go to therapy, sex therapy. We finally went to Doug Weiss- Heart to heart counseling. NOW he wants to give it his all! He says loves me that I am the most beautiful thing he has ever seen!
I am so depressed. I am so broken. This is after I spent a month back and forth with another man. I cut off the relationship even though we loved each other, there was NO WAY I would have stayed with that man. We had arranged an open marriage with my husband but as soon as he found out about the other man he went into depression which he had never had in his life. I was the one that had depression through out the marriage from neglect and no intimacy. I don’t know what to do. I just don’t feel strong to fight. Everyday he tell me how much he loves me and how great I am! Now? I am so hurt and full of resentment! Can God help me with a miracle to feel the love for him? To fall back in love with my husband? Is this possible?
You arranged an open marraige? This isnt even a christian idea. You need to be repentant first and you keep making excuses for your adultery and think he should put up with it.
@@sarahs7751 I did repent. I have been to confession. The idea was agreed upon by both of us. I begged my husband for 18 years let’s get help let’s go to therapy. You obviously do not know about sexless marriages and Sexual anorexia.
2 categories plaguing men right now Sex and porm addiction and Intimacy anorexia. It’s leaves the spouse neglected,
Spiritually, emotionally, physically and sexually. It has killed me for all these years and I believed his lies every o would fall I’ll and get depressed I would get help as “ Identified” patient when he was the addict all along. I would get well and he would yes we will go to a sex therapist, yes we will go to therapy I promise. The months would go by then it would turn into another. Year.
I never said what I did was right. BUT UNTIL you walk in another woman’s shoes you should not judge. Spouses of SA AND IA have PTSD. Check out DR. Doug Weiss for Intimacy anorexia and Sexual addiction
( he is Christian) he knows exactly what a spouse feels and it is abuse, they purposely withhold love, spirituality, praise and affection. Educate yourself.
I asked God to help me fall back in love with my husband and I chose to let go of my expectations that was causing me strife. I know at that time God was the one that changed my heart and I did feel content and free to focus on growing my family and a nice home for them. My husband didn’t change, but I know at that time God helped me to at least.
@@sarahs7751, without knowing her situation it sounds very negative to tell her she caused the trouble she is in and that her husband had to put up with her. I digress.
Vanessa, husband may very well be doing the right things and renewing his mind. But the 1st thing you need to remember is that you must 1st love who YOU are and find a way to accept yourself and be your own best friend. Accept the unconditional love that God has for you. When you find your worth in God's eyes through Jesus, then love who he made you to be, you will be authentically YOU. She is beautiful, capable and worthy of a man who will WAIT for you to do this. if he is drawn to that beauty and God's grace, tread VERY carefully. Old behavior patterns are very hard to break. But you will see it from a mile away and not accpet the bad attitudes and behaviors anymore. I truly hope God restores your worth in his love. Be blessed. xoxo
Hello I just missed the opportunity to join conquer on the waitlist is it possible I can get the opportunity to join. God bless you. You are a Godsend.
Yes. Please join the waitlist here. Conquer will open again in the spring. www.leslievernick.com/joinconquer
All of this content so, resonated with me. I am really interested in , in person learning. Is this available? Thank you ❤
Hi Paula,
We do have a 3 month group coaching program open right now. You can find more information on that and sign up here: leslievernick.com/groups
You describes ex perfectly.
Generational.
got eye rolling a lot. or I was just joking.
Can I play this for my husband?
How can you get a copy of the divorce ebook?
I need that book
Restart at 16:00
Oh wow I just missed the chance to join conquer last week.
Stay tuned, friend. Conquer will open again in the spring! You can join the waitlist here! www.leslievernick.com/join-conquer
How does one join conquer?
Hi Kay! Conquer is currently closed, but you can sign up for our waitlist to be the first to know when we're about to open: leslievernick.com/conquersignup
How does one get the divorced ebook?
11:55
14:03
❤️
This is so one sided!
Women treat nusbands even worse so many times!
Be fair!
Maybe because most men are cheating or watching porn behind their back.
Yes he is pursuing, he buys flowers and he takes me to dinner. But I do NOT want to make love TO HIM. The safety and trust are broken. And then I broke his trust because I was the one who had month relationship because of the open marriage. I was TIRED of waiting for him to get help and get therapy for sexual anorexia. Yes his selfish behavior. INTIMACY anorexia is selfish, they may call an addiction but I just want to call 😮BULL
It's in the past, you need to make yourself strong to move forward to the life that God intended you to live, not in a life crushing marriage. Marriage isn't a cage, it's meant to be the wind beneath your wings. If trust is broken, it will take time to heal. You got this, and when you don't feel like you do, remember there is better for you. Focus less on the past and look to a better tomorrow for YOU.
15:28