With the busy schedules of the idols, a manager's job is to facilitate your life, not make it more complicated. We know that idols leave groups because of "anxiety issues". How many of those issues are actually related to situations like yours? I'm afraid the truth would shock many of the fans. Thanks for sharing.
@Christin Gilmer being an NCT fan, i think most SM stans have learnt not to trust every manager. but i do agree that i never thought about the fact that the anxiety issues could be born from situations with managers or staff members, it's scary to think about that
@@misxfitx whenever I think of idols being scared to say anything I always remember nct members doing vlives and a member says something "questionable" and other members just like anxiously look off camera to see the managers face. Like it's obvious SM managers are so strict,its probably why Johnny can't express anything about what's going on in America, it's either that he does not want to say anything or sm managers won't let him.
I also wonder about the young boys joining groups so early, Lou pearlman abused some *NSYNC boys allegedly... are there open secrets of sexual abuse of young idols and managers? I see behaviors in some idols that worry me.
"It wasn't that bad" it doesn't matter tho... it could have been a hand grab today, a thigh grab tomorrow and so on and so forth... I'm happy that you stood up for yourself in the end and that he got fired. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
That's true. Even if nothing happens it IS traumatic. Once a horse riding instructor (way older than me I was 15 back then) suggested or like asked me if I wanted to practice kissing and stuff and like he said oh im in an open relationship with my gf (remember this man was mid 20). I avoided it and rejected the offer and never returned there. Still to this day I feel like crying thinking about, the fact that @soobeanie_ was able to share this is really brave because trust me it's hard.
This happens to so many women: a man with power tries to take advantage of a woman. And I feel so bad for you that you were made to feel awkward and scared. You did really well. You should be very proud of yourself and you probably helped a bunch of young women who are confronted with these situations. Thanks for telling your story.
Abuse of power is a problem that transcends genders. Women pull this kind of shit too and get away just as easily. We've all really got to stop making this such a gendered issue. :
@@liesdamnlies3372 Statistics are not on your side. Hence, MeToo. But I have a feeling you're just trying to ruffle feathers. Your user name kind of says it all. Enjoy your hissy fit.
It is not a matter of “it was not that bad”, it is a matter of “it could have been much worse”. This man controled her schedules! He could have done anything to her if he wanted to. He was alone with her in a car all the time... Imagine how scared she felt for all those months? How helpless? And the most awful part of it, is that he knew the power he had over her and used it. That is so sad... I’m glad you feel better about that and was able to open up. Women everywhere go through things like this, but idols are too vulnerable and I hope things change both in Korea and the World Great video!
Omg I know what you mean by freezing in the moment. It's really true. A similar situation happened but this guy touched my thigh. I froze in that moment, but right after I told his parents through FB message and his parents apologized to me, scolded him, and he apologized directly to me. I think you really do have to act right away as soon as you can and be vocal right away because it can happen to someone else. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Managers need to be someone you can trust and it's unfortunate that happened! :(
I had a similar experience. I was at a school event with some friends and a senior (grade 12) touched me on the leg & arm. After freezing up for a minute, I left, then panic texted my best friend~~ in the end I’ve never seen him since so yaaaay
Don't feel weird because your body freeze. It's a normal thing that your brain does when it thinks you're in danger and it is scientifically proven. I don't have the name in English but I would translate it as astounished state/effect or staggered state/effect.
@@justinenglish_5750 "Stress response" is what you're looking for. The three responses observed to sudden high-intensity stress are Fight, Flight, and Freeze. In this case, it'd be analogous to punching the guy, getting up and right the fuck outta there, or-as described by the OP-freezing in place. I've known men who froze too when a woman did the same to them. Power corrupts.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. He definitely tried to take advantage of you and how you reacted is completely understandable. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're so brave for telling your story and pushing upload was probably even harder. Thank you for sharing your story.
Everyone should have the right/power (ideally)to choose who might be in their intimate zone. And those in need who want to force it, is a common plague. Fair enough to get tough over time.
Thank you for so bravely sharing your story! I’m glad to hear that he ended up getting fired down the road, but I’m sorry you had to go through that in the first place! Don’t be too harsh on your younger self for not doing more in the moment or at that time - the “freeze” response is a totally common and valid one in any traumatic event, and you did what you had to do to keep yourself safe as best you could at that time - and that included thinking about your career and the culture you were living in. Looking back on things, it’s easy to think, “I should have done this or that,” but you did what you had to at the time, and that’s okay. 💛 Again, so glad he ended up getting what was coming to him, but you were so strong getting through that and going about your life with that experience behind you. Keep your head up! 🖤
don't let anyone undermine your struggles, if it was scary and changed you in any way then it's important and nothing to shrug at. I'm so proud of how much you've grown since then and became so much stronger! keep at it ♥️
What a creep! I’m glad you are able to open up about it now. Scary part is that there’s other idols going thru the same thing or worse and I hope they can open up about it too
Hey Soobeanie :( I don’t think it is not fair to blame yourself at all, imagine if your friend was telling you the exact same story. Would you tell them “you put this on yourself?” Please be kind to yourself! This isn’t a small thing! Also thank you for sharing this story, I definitely think it is so important bc of Nth Room, how entertainment industries work, & how Asian culture tells us to always respect the elder etc. We never know who will abuse their power, I agree with you that 19 is young bc you’re still impressionable but this feeling can be at any age! Let’s say you were older but starting a new job & are open to learning everything. What he did was really wrong bc like you said, he was aware of his higher position and used that power to silence you. I feel like people aren’t aware how power is often used to manipulate victims. This could even be wrong if an idol is dating a fan or a tutor and a student. The level of power is unequal so we have to be aware. :( sorry this is so much info but it is so scary!
that was such an abuse of power thank you so much for sharing your experience. This is something that clearly happens throughout the industry but needs to be handled delicately. Companies should provide support for their idols and have support resources that they can reach out to if they don't feel comfortable going to their managers or CEOs about what happening. you are brave girlfriend!
Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry that happened to you and I’m glad he finally left you alone. Too many people will say what they would’ve done if that happened to them but shock is a real thing. We don’t often react immediately to uncomfortable situations or inappropriate behaviour because we don’t have the experience to recognize it or we have never been taught what is an appropriate response. Women often dismiss or ignore physical touching if it is not blatantly sexual because we get told we’re overreacting. Handholding can be intimate or comforting depending on the situation but if it’s uncomfortable then it’s not acceptable. It really bothers me that my first thought was: I’m glad nothing worse happened. Take care.
i'm so happy you could be vocal about this!! i actually had a similar situation happen with one of my coworkers (he was a 22 year old man and i was only 16 female at the time). he would always talk to me at work and like joke around and stuff and on text me about random things. i think that he was just trying to be friendly but it really creeped me out since i had no experience like being friendly with older guys and it made me really uncomfortable that he was acting like he was my age when he was really so much older. at first i didn't tell anyone and just kept it inside because i'm kind of shy and i didn't really know how to bring it up or if it was even a big deal. but about a month in i actually texted him and told him that i didn't want to be in contact with him outside of work and that he was making me uncomfortable and fortunately he respected me and didn't push it. i slowly opened up to a few of my friends and parents about it and they were all so supportive and stuff. it felt really good to tell people and get it off my chest and i'm glad you could too and that nothing else happened with the manager. i think being vocal about things like this is really important, because if it makes you have a right to feel safe and comfortable wherever you go (which is something i have learned). anyways, thanks so much for sharing and i really enjoy your videos
Same thing also happened to me. I hail a cab and decided to seat on the passenger seat when the driver started asking for my phone number, i told him I don't have a phone (I actually have) and then he proceeds on saying his name, work, where he lives (I was like, "IDGAF" dude). Then he ask how old I am, I told him I'm SIXTEEN YEARS OLD (Yes, I was underage at that time), and the muderfcker just laughs and told me that SIXTEEN YEARS OLD is the perfect age to be in a relationship. I have a feeling where the situation will go, so i asked him to stop the cab and the muderfcker said he wanted to talk to me more. He asked me if it's okay if he'll just turn the vehicle around and go back to the original place where I waited and then he'll once again take me to my designated location, he told me, he badly wants to get to know me. I was terrified at that moment that I practically begged him to stop the cab and told him my mother is sick and she badly needed my help. THANKGOD! HE DROP ME OFF IMMEDIATELY!!! but before he drop me off, he hold my left hand and squished it and he told me that I don't have to pay the cab fee. since then, i never seated at the passenger seat. I FXKING HATE SEXUAL PREDATORS, SOMEONE PLEASE CUT THEIR DI*KS OFF!
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's crazy how similar my experience was. A small reminder for the future: never ever tell your personal information to anyone who doesn't need to know. I'm glad you're okay. 💖💖
Maybe it's bc the womanly intuition thing but I always get really scared for female idols and especialllyyy young ones. There's just so many things that can happen with managers, fans, and just creepy men in general. I'm sorry this happened to you :( and I'm glad you're speaking out about this.
Thank you so much for sharing your story! More people need to speak out about these issues no matter how big or small. I stan your bravery and love your channel!
I’m very thankful that you could open up to us, is so sad that you needed to pass through this, you’re incredible and I really appreciate you❤️❤️ Sorry my english🙏🏻
Thank you so much for sharing your story 💜 I can definitely understand how you felt in that situation, especially to go through that when you were only 19. It was really brave of you to talk about this and I think it’s important for girls and women to know we’re not alone in going through these things and that we can speak up about it 💜
Thank you Christine for talking about it i know its hard but you talking about it takes away the power they took from you and nothing is too small THERE THE ONES THAT SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES 😤😡 ...i also went thru some traumatic experiences growing up unfortunately it happened a few times and I felt powerless and angry but there was always a fire withing me a stubborn spirit that made me fight back and thats what I did I ended up messing up that bastard and it felt good and I promise myself never again was I going to allow anyone to put there hands on me unless I consent it.. *side note: until this day I'm sure he will always remember that broken arm and hand present i gave to him 😤
I'm so sorry you had to go through those discomforts and more when it's against you and also against your will. That's why you have to go carefully in life to know what kind of snakes you can encounter along the way and know what their real trinkets are to avoid falling into their trap. However, strive, go ahead and never give up without giving the fight, we all support you, admire you and we will continue to support you until the end. #Fighting #Soobeanee 😁👍💜💙❤️🧡💚💛
ew so gross... sounds like he was trying to take advantage because you were young and also a foreigner. But thanks for sharing!! Stuff like that happens more often than people would like to say, so props to you for taking the courage and letting us know ^^ BUT LMAO THE RANDOM ALERT NOTIFICATION.... right before you talk about not to panic and freak out lololol sorry to laugh but I found it funny.
curious tho, did u ever speak to your members about this? they may have had similar experiences. usually predators like yr manager wouldnt just target just the one girl
you're so strong and brave! I'm glad nothing major and worse happened after that since the situation in itself was scary but thank you for sharing and letting others know that even situations like that can be extremely scary and wrong :c
You are such a wonderful and strong person! I know these thoughts of like "It wasn't even that hige of a deal. Others have it way worse.", because my teacher, who I hate and fear and am disgustet by once shook my hand to congratulate me after a competition. It was obviously a nice gesture but to this day and cry when I look at my hand which I used to love since it is part of me. I am sorry. I just wanted to let that out. I id not the same as what you had to experience but I just wanted to tell you that I know these thoughts and you are never alone and that it is never unimportant!
Some ppl might not understand. I mean it's just your hand they'll say... But most girls know the difference between a good and a bad touch!!! So I understand u
Thank you Christine for sharing your story, this is not a small thing! I had a similar experience at 19 as well that people might think its a small thing but it can scar you for years, have certain phobias & have trust issues with other guy friends. Glad you are healing & can talk about it now!
Thank you for sharing your story! You are not alone. I think many women in this situation feel the same way and process it the same. Please don’t be too hard on yourself. I also had a similar situation when I was in my teens and I didn’t know how to react and ignored it too. But now as we are older we reflect on it. It’s ok . Thanks for sharing your personal story
That was terrible and I am so sorry that happened to you! We all look back at situations and see ways we might handle them differently. I wish you had been safe and felt confident enough to report him at the time, but am so grateful that you were able to handle it in a way that kept you safe. Your speaking out now will possibly give someone else the courage to stand up so thank you!
Thank you for share this bad happening and help people to have courage to speak It's so sad that things like this happen But I'm glad that you're better now
i agree with u ! when i was in the subway some guy was really close and rubbing against me from behind and i didnt know what to do i literally just froze and people saw but didnt do anything plus it was super crowded and i was like 13 at that time... sexual harassment is so scary
I’m sorry you had to go through that. You are so strong for sharing your story. I hope you know that by talking about this, you are giving courage to other abuse survivors to talk about their experiences and start to heal.
Thank you for sharing your story. Although the story isn't the same, the feelings and reactions are very similar to my own. I ended up having to leave my job due to a guy harassing me. He got to sit there while I tried pushing the complaint forward with my management. It was exhausting and my mental health suffered greatly. Don't say it didn't seem like much; how he made you feel was wrong. Often the harassers think what they're doing 'isn't much' but the amount of damage it does to people is a lot.
Sorry you had to experience that and have had to deal with it all alone!!! I’m glad you were finally able to open up and that you felt good getting it off your chest. No, it wasn’t a small thing at all just because things hadn’t escalated... they could have and you were right to be afraid of that. It’s sad that many others (idols or otherwise) find themselves in that situation and that they feel they cannot do anything about it or are unable to receive help. I’m happy to know you were safe 🖤
Your so brave saying those from now on we will protect you as your fans we all love you and I love you a lot I hope that me wanting to be an Kpop Idol won't we a wrong choice ❤
I totally get the “people might think it’s was nothing”, but I know exactly how that feels! The thing is not about “where he touched” or anything like that, but the situation of being approached by an unwanted man that has access to your privacy and a position of power and influence over you. I’ve been there myself and it’s very relatable. We usually don’t know how to act in those situations until we’re a little more mature and you’re very brave to come forward to talk about it. It does empower us to be able to do that! ❤️ you have all our support in this!
The last person you need to place blame on is yourself! Don't downplay what has happened to you just because it seems not as 'extreme' or 'important' as other people's stories, this is your story and the fact that you spoke out about it shows how strong you are!! You have your voice for a reason and that is to speak out on the injustices that have happened to you as well as others around you, keep using your voice as it is just as valid as anyone else's! Much love to you & stay healthy!! Xx
18:52 thank you for speaking up, you're very brave and we appreciate it. that man touched you without your consent and as a result you felt uncomfortable and uneasy when you were with him and he proceeded to try and keep in contact with you, he shouldn't have done any of that and i want you to know that all your feelings and emotions are valid and you shouldnt beat yourself up about how you responded in the moment bc i think a lot of people would be the same
Thanks for speaking out on the black lives matter issue. Sorry to hear about what your manager did to you. That's invasion of privacy. You are so brave for sharing your story.
girl, I know this is hard to recall the bad moments and speak this up to people, you are brave, know that I'm with you, I'm sending this virtual hugs from Jakarta
It is important to talk and share things like that, which have happened to you, so I hope by doing it, you already feel better, by getting it out your heart! Blessings!
I hate it when there are parents who put their childrens trust into their agencies and sick people like this liks to take advantage and abuse their power of position. We respect you Soo, for opening up something like this.
I know what u mean by freezing. It's happened to me too. I'm so glad you are able to talk abt it and I hope the incident didn't affect you in the long run.... Your videos are really nice. Hwaiting unnie 😍💜
I was frozen as well, i think that probably it is just normal reaction in these kind of situation, when "the Hunter" is above us in a company structure...
You pretty much described why it's a blessing for me to work from home atm (thanks to the virus). Unfortunately I'll soon have to return to the office though. I thought about reporting it, but they'll never kick him out, so it'll either make things even more awkward for me or it'll get me fired instead. So I understand every decision you made.
Given your situation at the time, no one can blame you for the way you responded to the situation. I think it's good that you're reassessing it now and preparing yourself mentally for anything similar, in case it happened in the future. Maybe it's impossible to prepare for every situation because of the circumstances, mental and physical state at the time, but at least you'd have some degree of control from now onward. Anyway, I hope nothing alike takes place for you and you can get over it peacefully. It's okay to be vocal about it when you know that it will help you deal with the situation or at least find closure. But it really does depend on who is told what since not everyone responds the same to a situation and can be trusted equally :)
How can I story like this get DISLIKE????? What kind of ppl Dislike this story or WTF they Dislike??? The manager who took advantage of a young idol ??? I mean if you dont say nothing good better dont say nothing at all.
I’m so moved by your story, and it is an extremely scary situation for him to take advantage of his power over you. Your strength in sharing is empowering, and helpful for others. What happened is serious, bc he was supposed to protect you, and instead he took advantage of you, making inappropriate advances, leaving you unable to respond due to fears of the unknown in dealing with your company, and your fellow members. I had a similar story where I was coerced into a van by faculty members at an Ivy League college yas part of a “group assignment “, yet it became apparent that no other students were going to be picked up. The professors began talking more and more sexually about their plans, and I jumped out of the moving van. I never told anyone until this year- which is 20 years later. No one would ever believe these tenured professors did this, and by their smooth operation, I know I wasn’t their first victim. Thank you for sharing your story. We really are at the mercy of someone when we get in a car alone with them
I’m glad that saying this out loud helps you feel better soobeanie!! What he did was CREEPY and UNACCEPTABLE! Do not feel that your story was small or no big deal, that kind of predatory behaviour IS a big deal. He KNEW you were in a very vulnerable situation and he tried to take advantage of that. The fact that he never reflected and thought it was completely normal behaviour disgusts me. That’s typical covert misogyny.
I was sexually harrassed when I was 6. I can understand how you feel, your strong and your brave. I love you never feel alone. It was hard for me too being harrassed in age of 6 mostly ruined my entire childhood so yeah. Don't worry your strong now and your safe.
As hard as that must have been, always remember you got thru that so breaking you is harder.!!! Your past is in the past!!! Don't let it affect you...🙂
Wow, that’s creepy from someone who was to look after you professionally. Sorry you experienced that situation, especially as a young age. For anyone protesting, please stay safe and keep your optimism for positive change.
Creepy, 😳 Something like that happen to me when I was younger with my coach in basketball 🏀. I didn't know what to do either and was kinda scared of older guys or be alone with them after that. I was hurt and he was in the locker room bandaging up my leg when he commented how I had strong legs and then rubbed my thigh. I froze too, but luckily someone came in and told him he was not allowed to be alone with a female player in the locker room. This woman told he not to allow that to happen again. I guess I was pale she asked if I was ok. I just shook my head and left. I thought I was going to be in trouble. Don't know why I felt that way but I just did. I was only 14yrs old then. So I completely understand why you did what you did. You just want to get out of that situation quick. I'm glad your ok, Thank you for sharing your story with us.
You're so brave to even talk about it. I felt bad you had to experience something like that. I believe in karma that when you did something bad to a person it'll come back to you eventually. So he might had his karma by now. Your story will help people especially girls to be more aware of their surroundings. Cuz abuse can be done even by someone we know. 🥺❤
What happened to you is not petty at all. I can imagine the fear you felt when he held your hands. When I was kid I experienced the same situation but worst than that (ㅠㅠ) and I can't forget the fear I felt that time. I was below 10yrs old and I remember I was also frozen and kinda screaming for help inside my head. In situation like this we always thought that we are ready and strong enough to protect ourselves but the truth is you'll never be ready cause u don't expect it to happen n u kinda feel helpless at the same time and scared that people might not believe you and accuse u of making up a story. It's a bitter and sad reality. So I hope in the future we could have a safer society that protect and respect each other.
Im really sorry abt what happend❤️but i just wanted to ask if yoy could you do a vid on how mv are made and whats its like in the recording studio and dance practices and how do kpop idol learn dances
The way I read the title and inmmediately knew it must've been a sexual harassment type of problem. It's disgusting how common it still is for trainers, managers, guards or literally any man with a charge to take advantage of it and harass, abuse, sometimes even rape girls. I really hope our future daughters never get to live in such a patriarchal and machist society. Thank you for sharing such an emotionally delicate experience with us, *we love you lots and stay safe during these times
I didn't realise how often you said "you know"😃I always enjoy watching videos and thank you for sharing your personal story and shed the light into Kpop industry BTS. Looking forward to watching more of your videos 😃
That's very scary! But if I'm you, I know I'll be frozen too. And not telling others.. maybe I had the same thinking as you. "I'm the maknae who don't have right to speak up". And also, just imagine. If the matter become chaotic, you'll be roasted. Who knows if the manager twisted here and there.. and what if the members accuse you are making up just to go home earlier.. that's what in my mind after you tell about the holding hand..
My heart is so full reading your guys comments! 😫😢 i love yall❤️
soobeanie_ will you please do a video on the show 'problematic men' ?
BTW loved the video and glad that he got fired.
of course christine! we are always here to support and are always here for you!! 💖💖
Thanks for sharing your story with us🥺💗 will you please do a video on how to prevent bloating?
I LOVE YOU
I'm glad he got fired it could've been way worse.
Omg that's freaking true!!! Thanks god!!!!
With the busy schedules of the idols, a manager's job is to facilitate your life, not make it more complicated. We know that idols leave groups because of "anxiety issues".
How many of those issues are actually related to situations like yours? I'm afraid the truth would shock many of the fans. Thanks for sharing.
@Christin Gilmer being an NCT fan, i think most SM stans have learnt not to trust every manager. but i do agree that i never thought about the fact that the anxiety issues could be born from situations with managers or staff members, it's scary to think about that
@@misxfitx whenever I think of idols being scared to say anything I always remember nct members doing vlives and a member says something "questionable" and other members just like anxiously look off camera to see the managers face. Like it's obvious SM managers are so strict,its probably why Johnny can't express anything about what's going on in America, it's either that he does not want to say anything or sm managers won't let him.
Which group was she in?
@@lilyjames5830 Blady. She mentions it in a few videos too :)
I also wonder about the young boys joining groups so early, Lou pearlman abused some *NSYNC boys allegedly... are there open secrets of sexual abuse of young idols and managers? I see behaviors in some idols that worry me.
you’re so brave for sharing your story, i’m sorry you went through that, we are with you ❤️
"It wasn't that bad" it doesn't matter tho... it could have been a hand grab today, a thigh grab tomorrow and so on and so forth... I'm happy that you stood up for yourself in the end and that he got fired. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
That's true. Even if nothing happens it IS traumatic. Once a horse riding instructor (way older than me I was 15 back then) suggested or like asked me if I wanted to practice kissing and stuff and like he said oh im in an open relationship with my gf (remember this man was mid 20). I avoided it and rejected the offer and never returned there. Still to this day I feel like crying thinking about, the fact that @soobeanie_ was able to share this is really brave because trust me it's hard.
This happens to so many women: a man with power tries to take advantage of a woman. And I feel so bad for you that you were made to feel awkward and scared. You did really well. You should be very proud of yourself and you probably helped a bunch of young women who are confronted with these situations. Thanks for telling your story.
I know she was really brave for sharing this. In a lot of books and movies, it's mostly the women taken advantage by a man.
Abuse of power is a problem that transcends genders. Women pull this kind of shit too and get away just as easily. We've all really got to stop making this such a gendered issue. :
@@liesdamnlies3372 Statistics are not on your side. Hence, MeToo. But I have a feeling you're just trying to ruffle feathers. Your user name kind of says it all. Enjoy your hissy fit.
So glad you’re sharing your experience especially after what I heard happened to Blackpink Lisa and her manager
What happened to Lisa and her manager?
Ewelina Wiącek i don’t know the exact amount, but he stole tons of money from her and he was her manager ever since their debut
brandon⁹ he didn’t steal, he allegedly scammed her and tricked her into giving him money
Joline Sun it was over $800,000 dollars ://
Olivia Dawt um ok?
It is not a matter of “it was not that bad”, it is a matter of “it could have been much worse”.
This man controled her schedules! He could have done anything to her if he wanted to. He was alone with her in a car all the time...
Imagine how scared she felt for all those months? How helpless?
And the most awful part of it, is that he knew the power he had over her and used it.
That is so sad... I’m glad you feel better about that and was able to open up.
Women everywhere go through things like this, but idols are too vulnerable and I hope things change both in Korea and the World
Great video!
Please don't feel you need to justify your every response to us, you shouldn't have to defend anything, he was the one in the wrong, not you.
Glad someone said it ❤️
What's scary is I feel like this probably happens a lot in the industry.
Omg I know what you mean by freezing in the moment. It's really true. A similar situation happened but this guy touched my thigh. I froze in that moment, but right after I told his parents through FB message and his parents apologized to me, scolded him, and he apologized directly to me. I think you really do have to act right away as soon as you can and be vocal right away because it can happen to someone else. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Managers need to be someone you can trust and it's unfortunate that happened! :(
I had a similar experience. I was at a school event with some friends and a senior (grade 12) touched me on the leg & arm. After freezing up for a minute, I left, then panic texted my best friend~~ in the end I’ve never seen him since so yaaaay
Don't feel weird because your body freeze. It's a normal thing that your brain does when it thinks you're in danger and it is scientifically proven. I don't have the name in English but I would translate it as astounished state/effect or staggered state/effect.
@@justinenglish_5750 "Stress response" is what you're looking for. The three responses observed to sudden high-intensity stress are Fight, Flight, and Freeze. In this case, it'd be analogous to punching the guy, getting up and right the fuck outta there, or-as described by the OP-freezing in place. I've known men who froze too when a woman did the same to them.
Power corrupts.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m glad to hear that you were able to get in touch with his parents and contacted them right away!!
Your mentioning Black Lives Matter touched my heart. You are one of most thoughtful people ever. I love you for that.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. He definitely tried to take advantage of you and how you reacted is completely understandable. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're so brave for telling your story and pushing upload was probably even harder. Thank you for sharing your story.
Wow, that's traumatic. You are so brave girl, i hope you're okay.
Everyone should have the right/power (ideally)to choose who might be in their intimate zone. And those in need who want to force it, is a common plague.
Fair enough to get tough over time.
Thank you for so bravely sharing your story! I’m glad to hear that he ended up getting fired down the road, but I’m sorry you had to go through that in the first place! Don’t be too harsh on your younger self for not doing more in the moment or at that time - the “freeze” response is a totally common and valid one in any traumatic event, and you did what you had to do to keep yourself safe as best you could at that time - and that included thinking about your career and the culture you were living in. Looking back on things, it’s easy to think, “I should have done this or that,” but you did what you had to at the time, and that’s okay. 💛 Again, so glad he ended up getting what was coming to him, but you were so strong getting through that and going about your life with that experience behind you. Keep your head up! 🖤
don't let anyone undermine your struggles, if it was scary and changed you in any way then it's important and nothing to shrug at. I'm so proud of how much you've grown since then and became so much stronger! keep at it ♥️
What a creep! I’m glad you are able to open up about it now. Scary part is that there’s other idols going thru the same thing or worse and I hope they can open up about it too
Hey Soobeanie :( I don’t think it is not fair to blame yourself at all, imagine if your friend was telling you the exact same story. Would you tell them “you put this on yourself?” Please be kind to yourself! This isn’t a small thing! Also thank you for sharing this story, I definitely think it is so important bc of Nth Room, how entertainment industries work, & how Asian culture tells us to always respect the elder etc. We never know who will abuse their power, I agree with you that 19 is young bc you’re still impressionable but this feeling can be at any age! Let’s say you were older but starting a new job & are open to learning everything. What he did was really wrong bc like you said, he was aware of his higher position and used that power to silence you. I feel like people aren’t aware how power is often used to manipulate victims. This could even be wrong if an idol is dating a fan or a tutor and a student. The level of power is unequal so we have to be aware. :( sorry this is so much info but it is so scary!
Also, if you’d really like to know, please look up grooming and how that could also be very dangerous!
Makes me wonder which other former or even current idols are going through the same or worse 😭
not one negative comment. I was right, you can talk to us about anything.
I was honestly so happy when I heard you speak on black lives matter thank you so much and I am so sorry you went through all of that
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I think you are so strong. We love you 💜
Your amazing and thanks for sharing I know it’s hard.🥺❤️
that was such an abuse of power thank you so much for sharing your experience. This is something that clearly happens throughout the industry but needs to be handled delicately. Companies should provide support for their idols and have support resources that they can reach out to if they don't feel comfortable going to their managers or CEOs about what happening. you are brave girlfriend!
Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry that happened to you and I’m glad he finally left you alone.
Too many people will say what they would’ve done if that happened to them but shock is a real thing. We don’t often react immediately to uncomfortable situations or inappropriate behaviour because we don’t have the experience to recognize it or we have never been taught what is an appropriate response. Women often dismiss or ignore physical touching if it is not blatantly sexual because we get told we’re overreacting. Handholding can be intimate or comforting depending on the situation but if it’s uncomfortable then it’s not acceptable.
It really bothers me that my first thought was: I’m glad nothing worse happened.
Take care.
i'm so happy you could be vocal about this!! i actually had a similar situation happen with one of my coworkers (he was a 22 year old man and i was only 16 female at the time). he would always talk to me at work and like joke around and stuff and on text me about random things. i think that he was just trying to be friendly but it really creeped me out since i had no experience like being friendly with older guys and it made me really uncomfortable that he was acting like he was my age when he was really so much older. at first i didn't tell anyone and just kept it inside because i'm kind of shy and i didn't really know how to bring it up or if it was even a big deal. but about a month in i actually texted him and told him that i didn't want to be in contact with him outside of work and that he was making me uncomfortable and fortunately he respected me and didn't push it. i slowly opened up to a few of my friends and parents about it and they were all so supportive and stuff. it felt really good to tell people and get it off my chest and i'm glad you could too and that nothing else happened with the manager. i think being vocal about things like this is really important, because if it makes you have a right to feel safe and comfortable wherever you go (which is something i have learned). anyways, thanks so much for sharing and i really enjoy your videos
Raeven Colot it hasn’t 💙💙
Same thing also happened to me. I hail a cab and decided to seat on the passenger seat when the driver started asking for my phone number, i told him I don't have a phone (I actually have) and then he proceeds on saying his name, work, where he lives (I was like, "IDGAF" dude). Then he ask how old I am, I told him I'm SIXTEEN YEARS OLD (Yes, I was underage at that time), and the muderfcker just laughs and told me that SIXTEEN YEARS OLD is the perfect age to be in a relationship. I have a feeling where the situation will go, so i asked him to stop the cab and the muderfcker said he wanted to talk to me more. He asked me if it's okay if he'll just turn the vehicle around and go back to the original place where I waited and then he'll once again take me to my designated location, he told me, he badly wants to get to know me. I was terrified at that moment that I practically begged him to stop the cab and told him my mother is sick and she badly needed my help. THANKGOD! HE DROP ME OFF IMMEDIATELY!!! but before he drop me off, he hold my left hand and squished it and he told me that I don't have to pay the cab fee. since then, i never seated at the passenger seat.
I FXKING HATE SEXUAL PREDATORS, SOMEONE PLEASE CUT THEIR DI*KS OFF!
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's crazy how similar my experience was. A small reminder for the future: never ever tell your personal information to anyone who doesn't need to know. I'm glad you're okay. 💖💖
Maybe it's bc the womanly intuition thing but I always get really scared for female idols and especialllyyy young ones. There's just so many things that can happen with managers, fans, and just creepy men in general. I'm sorry this happened to you :( and I'm glad you're speaking out about this.
Thank you so much for sharing your story! More people need to speak out about these issues no matter how big or small. I stan your bravery and love your channel!
Thank you for sharing your story~
I’m very thankful that you could open up to us, is so sad that you needed to pass through this, you’re incredible and I really appreciate you❤️❤️
Sorry my english🙏🏻
i feel sad after hearing that happened to you, but im proud of u for coming out and told what happened🥺💘💘
who else JUMPED at 19:52?!! anyways i am so proud of you for speaking up!!
Thank you so much for sharing your story 💜 I can definitely understand how you felt in that situation, especially to go through that when you were only 19. It was really brave of you to talk about this and I think it’s important for girls and women to know we’re not alone in going through these things and that we can speak up about it 💜
Thank you Christine for talking about it i know its hard but you talking about it takes away the power they took from you and nothing is too small THERE THE ONES THAT SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES 😤😡 ...i also went thru some traumatic experiences growing up unfortunately it happened a few times and I felt powerless and angry but there was always a fire withing me a stubborn spirit that made me fight back and thats what I did I ended up messing up that bastard and it felt good and I promise myself never again was I going to allow anyone to put there hands on me unless I consent it.. *side note: until this day I'm sure he will always remember that broken arm and hand present i gave to him 😤
I'm so sorry you had to go through those discomforts and more when it's against you and also against your will. That's why you have to go carefully in life to know what kind of snakes you can encounter along the way and know what their real trinkets are to avoid falling into their trap. However, strive, go ahead and never give up without giving the fight, we all support you, admire you and we will continue to support you until the end. #Fighting #Soobeanee 😁👍💜💙❤️🧡💚💛
More power to you thank you for being so strong and sharing 💙💙🙏🏽🙏🏽
its very cool how you are sharing your experiences, thanks!!!
Honestly, like good for you. Standing up for yourself 👍.. managers should be professional enough and know boundaries. That guy was a creep
ew so gross... sounds like he was trying to take advantage because you were young and also a foreigner.
But thanks for sharing!! Stuff like that happens more often than people would like to say, so props to you for taking the courage and letting us know ^^
BUT LMAO THE RANDOM ALERT NOTIFICATION.... right before you talk about not to panic and freak out lololol sorry to laugh but I found it funny.
curious tho, did u ever speak to your members about this? they may have had similar experiences. usually predators like yr manager wouldnt just target just the one girl
you're so strong and brave! I'm glad nothing major and worse happened after that since the situation in itself was scary but thank you for sharing and letting others know that even situations like that can be extremely scary and wrong :c
You are such a wonderful and strong person!
I know these thoughts of like "It wasn't even that hige of a deal. Others have it way worse.", because my teacher, who I hate and fear and am disgustet by once shook my hand to congratulate me after a competition. It was obviously a nice gesture but to this day and cry when I look at my hand which I used to love since it is part of me.
I am sorry. I just wanted to let that out. I id not the same as what you had to experience but I just wanted to tell you that I know these thoughts and you are never alone and that it is never unimportant!
Some ppl might not understand. I mean it's just your hand they'll say... But most girls know the difference between a good and a bad touch!!! So I understand u
Your strength is what helped you. Thank you for sharing this. All the more power to you.
I am happy that you were able to open up about something that is personal to you.
Thank you Christine for sharing your story, this is not a small thing! I had a similar experience at 19 as well that people might think its a small thing but it can scar you for years, have certain phobias & have trust issues with other guy friends. Glad you are healing & can talk about it now!
I know what you mean... I've been in stone situations as well... And it's sad sometimes girls themselves don't understand
You are so strong! We love you, your an amazing person!
Thank you for sharing your story! You are not alone. I think many women in this situation feel the same way and process it the same. Please don’t be too hard on yourself. I also had a similar situation when I was in my teens and I didn’t know how to react and ignored it too. But now as we are older we reflect on it. It’s ok . Thanks for sharing your personal story
That was terrible and I am so sorry that happened to you! We all look back at situations and see ways we might handle them differently. I wish you had been safe and felt confident enough to report him at the time, but am so grateful that you were able to handle it in a way that kept you safe. Your speaking out now will possibly give someone else the courage to stand up so thank you!
Super courageous you spoke about this. Much love 💕
Thank you for share this bad happening and help people to have courage to speak
It's so sad that things like this happen
But I'm glad that you're better now
i agree with u ! when i was in the subway some guy was really close and rubbing against me from behind and i didnt know what to do i literally just froze and people saw but didnt do anything plus it was super crowded and i was like 13 at that time... sexual harassment is so scary
Fuck I was 21 when I was being molested and I freaking froze. I totally get you girl 😔
I’m sorry you had to go through that. You are so strong for sharing your story. I hope you know that by talking about this, you are giving courage to other abuse survivors to talk about their experiences and start to heal.
Thank you for sharing your story. Although the story isn't the same, the feelings and reactions are very similar to my own. I ended up having to leave my job due to a guy harassing me. He got to sit there while I tried pushing the complaint forward with my management. It was exhausting and my mental health suffered greatly. Don't say it didn't seem like much; how he made you feel was wrong. Often the harassers think what they're doing 'isn't much' but the amount of damage it does to people is a lot.
Sorry you had to experience that and have had to deal with it all alone!!! I’m glad you were finally able to open up and that you felt good getting it off your chest. No, it wasn’t a small thing at all just because things hadn’t escalated... they could have and you were right to be afraid of that. It’s sad that many others (idols or otherwise) find themselves in that situation and that they feel they cannot do anything about it or are unable to receive help. I’m happy to know you were safe 🖤
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You are such a strong woman 💪🏻💓
Your so brave saying those from now on we will protect you as your fans we all love you and I love you a lot I hope that me wanting to be an Kpop Idol won't we a wrong choice ❤
I totally get the “people might think it’s was nothing”, but I know exactly how that feels! The thing is not about “where he touched” or anything like that, but the situation of being approached by an unwanted man that has access to your privacy and a position of power and influence over you.
I’ve been there myself and it’s very relatable. We usually don’t know how to act in those situations until we’re a little more mature and you’re very brave to come forward to talk about it. It does empower us to be able to do that! ❤️ you have all our support in this!
The last person you need to place blame on is yourself! Don't downplay what has happened to you just because it seems not as 'extreme' or 'important' as other people's stories, this is your story and the fact that you spoke out about it shows how strong you are!! You have your voice for a reason and that is to speak out on the injustices that have happened to you as well as others around you, keep using your voice as it is just as valid as anyone else's! Much love to you & stay healthy!! Xx
19 is very young!! You're right. Looking back at my 19yo self and at 19 year olds now - babies. 21,22 is when we become our real selves I feel
Proud of you girly for talking about it♡
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story!
18:52 thank you for speaking up, you're very brave and we appreciate it. that man touched you without your consent and as a result you felt uncomfortable and uneasy when you were with him and he proceeded to try and keep in contact with you, he shouldn't have done any of that and i want you to know that all your feelings and emotions are valid and you shouldnt beat yourself up about how you responded in the moment bc i think a lot of people would be the same
Thanks for speaking out on the black lives matter issue. Sorry to hear about what your manager did to you. That's invasion of privacy. You are so brave for sharing your story.
girl, I know this is hard to recall the bad moments and speak this up to people, you are brave, know that I'm with you, I'm sending this virtual hugs from Jakarta
It is important to talk and share things like that, which have happened to you, so I hope by doing it, you already feel better, by getting it out your heart! Blessings!
Im so sorry you had to go through that
I hate it when there are parents who put their childrens trust into their agencies and sick people like this liks to take advantage and abuse their power of position. We respect you Soo, for opening up something like this.
I know what u mean by freezing. It's happened to me too. I'm so glad you are able to talk abt it and I hope the incident didn't affect you in the long run.... Your videos are really nice. Hwaiting unnie 😍💜
Just got into the Kpop genre and love your insight. It’s interesting to know what goes on behind the scenes. Thanks for sharing your experience 😁🤙🏼
I was frozen as well, i think that probably it is just normal reaction in these kind of situation, when "the Hunter" is above us in a company structure...
You pretty much described why it's a blessing for me to work from home atm (thanks to the virus). Unfortunately I'll soon have to return to the office though. I thought about reporting it, but they'll never kick him out, so it'll either make things even more awkward for me or it'll get me fired instead. So I understand every decision you made.
Given your situation at the time, no one can blame you for the way you responded to the situation. I think it's good that you're reassessing it now and preparing yourself mentally for anything similar, in case it happened in the future. Maybe it's impossible to prepare for every situation because of the circumstances, mental and physical state at the time, but at least you'd have some degree of control from now onward. Anyway, I hope nothing alike takes place for you and you can get over it peacefully. It's okay to be vocal about it when you know that it will help you deal with the situation or at least find closure. But it really does depend on who is told what since not everyone responds the same to a situation and can be trusted equally :)
I haven't watched it yet but your so strong for sharing such a story 💕
How can I story like this get DISLIKE????? What kind of ppl Dislike this story or WTF they Dislike??? The manager who took advantage of a young idol ??? I mean if you dont say nothing good better dont say nothing at all.
I’m so moved by your story, and it is an extremely scary situation for him to take advantage of his power over you. Your strength in sharing is empowering, and helpful for others. What happened is serious, bc he was supposed to protect you, and instead he took advantage of you, making inappropriate advances, leaving you unable to respond due to fears of the unknown in dealing with your company, and your fellow members. I had a similar story where I was coerced into a van by faculty members at an Ivy League college yas part of a “group assignment “, yet it became apparent that no other students were going to be picked up. The professors began talking more and more sexually about their plans, and I jumped out of the moving van. I never told anyone until this year- which is 20 years later. No one would ever believe these tenured professors did this, and by their smooth operation, I know I wasn’t their first victim. Thank you for sharing your story. We really are at the mercy of someone when we get in a car alone with them
I’m glad that saying this out loud helps you feel better soobeanie!! What he did was CREEPY and UNACCEPTABLE! Do not feel that your story was small or no big deal, that kind of predatory behaviour IS a big deal. He KNEW you were in a very vulnerable situation and he tried to take advantage of that. The fact that he never reflected and thought it was completely normal behaviour disgusts me. That’s typical covert misogyny.
I was sexually harrassed when I was 6. I can understand how you feel, your strong and your brave. I love you never feel alone. It was hard for me too being harrassed in age of 6 mostly ruined my entire childhood so yeah. Don't worry your strong now and your safe.
As hard as that must have been, always remember you got thru that so breaking you is harder.!!! Your past is in the past!!! Don't let it affect you...🙂
@@disha2656 thank you so much 💜 I won't let my past affect me don't worry.
@@shrutisahu6270 hwaiting 💜
@@shrutisahu6270 hwaiting 💜
Oooo finally can’t wait to hear ur story and also love u and ur vids keep up the good work lots of love 💜💜💜💜
Thank you for sharing, love 💕
I’m so sad that something like this happened to you. You are the best and deserve the world
What a creep, anyways I’m glad you spoke up about it!
Wow, that’s creepy from someone who was to look after you professionally. Sorry you experienced that situation, especially as a young age.
For anyone protesting, please stay safe and keep your optimism for positive change.
Thank you for sharing your story ❤️ I’m sorry you had to experience that it was probably very traumatizing for you
Your such a strong person soobin and thank you for sharing your story stay safe 💛
Creepy, 😳 Something like that happen to me when I was younger with my coach in basketball 🏀. I didn't know what to do either and was kinda scared of older guys or be alone with them after that. I was hurt and he was in the locker room bandaging up my leg when he commented how I had strong legs and then rubbed my thigh. I froze too, but luckily someone came in and told him he was not allowed to be alone with a female player in the locker room. This woman told he not to allow that to happen again. I guess I was pale she asked if I was ok. I just shook my head and left. I thought I was going to be in trouble. Don't know why I felt that way but I just did. I was only 14yrs old then. So I completely understand why you did what you did. You just want to get out of that situation quick. I'm glad your ok, Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Horrifying!! Thank you for sharing. I would have frozen up too, in that situation.
You're so brave to even talk about it. I felt bad you had to experience something like that. I believe in karma that when you did something bad to a person it'll come back to you eventually. So he might had his karma by now. Your story will help people especially girls to be more aware of their surroundings. Cuz abuse can be done even by someone we know. 🥺❤
What happened to you is not petty at all. I can imagine the fear you felt when he held your hands.
When I was kid I experienced the same situation but worst than that (ㅠㅠ) and I can't forget the fear I felt that time. I was below 10yrs old and I remember I was also frozen and kinda screaming for help inside my head.
In situation like this we always thought that we are ready and strong enough to protect ourselves but the truth is you'll never be ready cause u don't expect it to happen n u kinda feel helpless at the same time and scared that people might not believe you and accuse u of making up a story. It's a bitter and sad reality.
So I hope in the future we could have a safer society that protect and respect each other.
He needs to be fired right away, that's terrible ☹️☹️
I'm sorry this happened to you. He deserves to get fired and never work this job again
Thank you for sharing your story!
Im really sorry abt what happend❤️but i just wanted to ask if yoy could you do a vid on how mv are made and whats its like in the recording studio and dance practices and how do kpop idol learn dances
Thank you so much for sharing your story
The way I read the title and inmmediately knew it must've been a sexual harassment type of problem. It's disgusting how common it still is for trainers, managers, guards or literally any man with a charge to take advantage of it and harass, abuse, sometimes even rape girls. I really hope our future daughters never get to live in such a patriarchal and machist society.
Thank you for sharing such an emotionally delicate experience with us, *we love you lots and stay safe during these times
I didn't realise how often you said "you know"😃I always enjoy watching videos and thank you for sharing your personal story and shed the light into Kpop industry BTS. Looking forward to watching more of your videos 😃
That's very scary! But if I'm you, I know I'll be frozen too. And not telling others.. maybe I had the same thinking as you. "I'm the maknae who don't have right to speak up". And also, just imagine. If the matter become chaotic, you'll be roasted. Who knows if the manager twisted here and there.. and what if the members accuse you are making up just to go home earlier.. that's what in my mind after you tell about the holding hand..
This incident must have really shocking but I'm kinda glad that you felt a little better after opening up to us.
Thank you for sharing your story❤️