9 reasons to NOT have kids 🤰🏼
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 มิ.ย. 2024
- Have you ever wondered about having kids? It’s something I think about a lot, and it’s something me and my husband talk about every single day.
There are so many voices out there telling us we should have children, and not many voices telling us otherwise. So I wanted to make a video for those of us who wants to make a carefully considered choice about whether to have kids or not. This is a video for anyone who’s ever thought about having kids, or not having kids. This is also to those who are childfree by choice.
There are so many aspects to parenthood, and for women, there is also the question about pregnancy and giving birth. I discuss it all in this video and I would love to hear what your reasons are for not having children!
With this constructive conversation I hope we can change the narrative from “Why don’t you have kids?” to “Why do you want ot have kids?” And make informed and responsible decisions about our lives, and the next generation.
00:00 Intro
00:26 1. You can’t afford it
02:38 2. Your partner isn’t right
03:48 Breaking up
04:40 3. You’re not prepared enough
06:25 4. Your life is full
07:30 Sacrifices
07:52 5. Not wanting to experience pregnancy and birth
09:00 Natural childbirth
11:00 Painfree birth
11:54 6. Mental health
14:28 7. You don’t know what you’re missing
15:00 Women without children
16:19 8. The world
17:00 Putting pressure on children
17:57 9. You don’t want to make the decision
20:10 Community
20:39 My thoughts on having children
22:13 One last piece of advice
22:38 Outro
Swedish Documentary
www.svtplay.se/video/36438366...
Sources
Willén, H. (1994) How do couples decide about having their first child - an explorative study Number 1 volume 24. Göteborg psychological reports, 24, No. 1. University of Göteborg, Department of psychology.
On What Matters - Derik Parfit
Maternal Care www.commonwealthfund.org/publ...
Cost of living www.weforum.org/agenda/2022/05/
For privacy reasons
- All baby pictures are baby me
- All stock videos of kids are cropped / no faces included
Thank you so much for watching 🌺
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#parenting #birth #children #childfree #childfreebychoice
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After seeing my friends have children I feel SO blessed for not having any. I believe I would have loved them if I had any but I TRULY love my freedom and the surplus of time and money this allowed me.
AMAZING VIDEO, THANK YOU !!! ❤❤❤
So lovely to hear that!!!! We need to hear more voices of women like you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@SagaJohanna i love kids i had 5 and planning to have more bc i really love family bc that's my tradition pls don't make fun of me bc people are saying that i cry everyday and that i have depression???????
@@starlightgirls1728 I see why you have it 👋😂
@@SUGAR_XYLER i don't tho i literally have a huge family that help me like i have my 6 sister and there grown up kids my mom my dad and my aunt and uncles jesus
I feel so alone in not having kids. Nobody in my circle is child free… I don’t even know if I want kids anymore because i don’t know what thought belong to me and what thought come from the pressure of society.
I'm a 59 y.o. female without kids. I'm still so very glad that's what my husband and I chose. We see the wreckage around us from our families that have kids with constant problems and drama. We are very peaceful and happy 33 years together.
❤❤
This is really great for you. Sounds like a peaceful and comfortable way of life.
Sad cope
This video was beautifully thought out and clearly well communicated. I am a 64 year old woman living in the USA. I have no children and never wanted them. I had no grand passion that resulted in not wanting to take the time it would require to have a child I simply did not want to be responsible for another human being. I have never regretted this decision.
Thank you so so much! I've been thinking a lot abut this.
It makes me so happy to hear your story! That is just amazing. Thank you for sharing! :)
ditto.
@Boon2000 Ahaha true true
@Boon2000 lol and why did YOU look up childfree videos? 😂
Great decision!!! :)
What a smart girl. Most people never take these factors into consideration before having kids.
Exactly what I think! They watch social media that romanticize life with kids in cute videos. It is not true)) i have many examples in life of friends and relatives' friends where people are tired as hell because having kids is making your life more hard, if you are a complete person who is happy on your own. I never wanted kids. I just wanted a loving partner. And it is enough))
The question is if this will make us dumber as a species over time. The clever people take all these things into account and refrain from having kids while the less intelligent ones still have children same as ever. This creates an evolutionary pressure to get dumber in each generation.
In addition people will be fuzzy-brained so they forget oral contraception, and will have clumsy fingers with sharp nails to ruin the function of condoms.
These excuses are pathetic actually
@@sabersage21 I agree with you 👍🏻
@@sabersage21you’re a man. Your opinion doesn’t count.
Part of the reason I didn't have children are that I didn't want to pass on my depression and didn't feel stable enough. It's horrible when someone has children without really really wanting them. I never felt like that. Best decision for me.
I think that reasoning is fantastic, and very brave. I grew up with a severely depressed mother who ultimately killed herself, and I truly believe she would have been a lot happier without children.
So why not heal your depression instead of making yourself suffer
@@ProdJamesCultz You have no idea what help I get to heal. It's not magic.
@@tozomona you choose the way you want to feel emotions are subconscious choices we make you have to rearrange your thoughts and be your own best friend Dr Joe dispenza is good for this
I was told I had to have two. As a very young child I was asked how many children I was going to have when I grew up. An aunt would prompt me to say “I’m going to have two--one for Mommy and one for Daddy.” I would comply but then I would say “But REALLY I’m not going to have ANY!” I’ll never forget the shock on their faces when I said this. but even at the tender age of four, I knew what I wanted.
I am 62 my husband is 72. We never wanted or had children. Never regret it.
However I will say when we were dating, I thought I would be obliged to have two children. My husband said, you do not have to have any if you do not want. That was a new thought for me and I loved it. Of course, no one ever told me I have to have 2, but it was implied by culture.
I'm not surprised that you felt that way, even today I think it's very pushed upon people. How wonderful of your husband and you to be on the same page, and for him to not push you ❤
👏 👏 👏 👏
Wow thank you for sharing
I’m in my 70s now and knew as a teenager that I didn’t want to be a mother. I did lots of babysitting, had younger siblings, and many cousins. I loved and enjoyed them all, especially my husband’s and my nieces and nephews, and now their kids, but never wanted to be a parent myself. My spouse and I have had wonderful full lives and never regretted our choice to be childfree adults. I have to say we’re happy our sibs and friends had kids for us to love and support, but still, it was the right decision for us to not become parents.
Thank you for sharing that! How wonderful to hear! I already have one niece and I adored my younger cousins growing up so I can see how much joy family can add to your life without necessarily having kids yourself!
@@SagaJohannacan't understand why my comment keeps being deleted.
If you get sick, do your nieces and nephews take care of you? Like if you got seriously ill do you have that?
There is no guarantee that a child will take care of you when you are old or sick.
This is a very interesting topic. I'm 37 years old and don't have any kids. However, I am a school teacher and spend 7 hours a day around kids (except of course on the weekend, summer vacation, Christmas break and Easter break). People tell me how they don't know how I do this as a teacher and I can't imagine being a parent and a teacher. The idea of teaching children all day and then going home to my own children. That would just be too much for me. I like to relax after work and just unwind.
That makes sense!
I used to be a teacher and thought the same thing. I could be a good teacher, but it would make me a bad mom and vice versa
Would you change professions to allow you to become a parent? It's not completely impossible.
Your video is helping lots of women who do not want children and feeling pressured by society / family to do it. A lot of women feel alone because they are judged when sharing they don’t want children. I’m glad more women are speaking out about this. It’s ok to not have children. You are ok. Your life will be fine. Don’t let anyone scare you into changing your mind. Change your mind if you YOU want to change your mind.
Thanks so much ❤️
@@SagaJohanna We wholeheartedly understand the difficulties you've been through, and we understand your reasonings for your decision.
Please know that your partner is using you, and is fully aware that he is wasting your years of youth (I fell of my chair when I found out that this is how men think, really!).
Please leave him, and find a better man that is able to provide, protect and educate for you and your children. Men don't care about a woman's income or career (again, I fell of my chair when I found out that this is how men think, really!).
He is using you and wasting your years.
@@JennaHasm I can see your comment, I'm not sure what you're talking about though. I don't believe men "think" in any way, they're humans, just like us 🙏
As a black woman , I agree 100%. I grew up adopted and in an household where my dad was an alcoholic and my mom was passive or scared of him. Either way it wasn't fun knowing my biological parents didn't want me and then being adopted as well made me feel like an outsider in my own family.
I'm so sorry to hear that. That sounds very traumatic. I wish you all the best
I pray you get a hold of your bio parents. Either way it will be ok. I promise you.
@@wheatstonebridge I know who my biological parents are I met them when I was 11 and having relationships with them was traumatizing st moments aswell. I just stay resilient and take my meds, do meditation and just live as happy as I can
I am so sorry you went through that:(
But despite it all your here to tell your story, thanks to somebody that had you
We both are 44 y.o from UK and been together for past 17 years. Early on, we tried to have a baby as it's expected of the society but after 5 consecutive miscarriages (incl., IVF), we decided to stop and accept to be child free. Your video is amazing, very well thought and quite reassuring to us.
This was so comforting to watch. As someone who’s on the fence about having kids, your gentle way of sharing your points is so calming ❤ Makes me feel it’s okay to be still considering and taking my time.
Oh thank you so much!
Yes! Take your time. I did not become a mother until age 35 and in my situation, it was because I had not found the right partner yet, but definitely worth the wait and I made sure to build a life where I would be happy no matter what!!! Whatever you decide I wish you all the best.
I'm a 32 y.o. Swedish woman who has always been surrounded by children, wether it be via family or through work. I adore them and wholeheartedly believe that I would be an A+ mother. But ever since I met my to-be-wife, who knew that she did not want children due to childhood trauma, I began asking myself if parenthood would be the right path for me. It took a while but I did come to a realisation about myself: I do never wish to be pregnant, nor do I need to become a mother to be happy.
Actually I was thinking like you do. My husband already have kids and we married when I was 35. I thought I will be OK with respecting his point of view, but after I turned 42 I found myself in depression regarding this issue. Please do not repress your own needs (if it is a need) only for your partner. Afterwards it even affects the relationship in a very bad way. Love is not equal to giving up on your needs. Please spend time to find out you alone what do you want for your life. I know that you are not me, but if the thought was there, it sometimes comes back later in life as midlife crisis...
I am a 74 year old woman, childless by choice. Both my parents had mental health problems and growing up with them was a nightmare. They did put pressure on me to have children and even went no contact when I wouldn't. Still, I went by my own conscience and did not have children. It was the best decision I could have made and I have not regretted it.
I will never have children since there’s way too much suffering in this world.
There is also much joy- my 8 year old reminds me of all the joy every day ❤
EVERY single point is so well thought out and I think we are all VERY lucky to have people like you on this planet! Thank you so saying all that you did!
Wow, thank you so much!
Your wisdom is way beyond your years! Such logic, yet with a beautiful heart, not intellectualism. I for one, decided not to bear children, and NO regrets as I turned 70 this year. Nothing missing in my life, infact, I feel blessed in every way. I had the experience of true romantic love in my twenties, and after 7 years together, we mutually went different ways, we are still best friends, long distance. I am a female monk, very involved in my social work which to me is far more satisfying than a nuclear family situation. I have friends and far too many social contacts! My nurturing instincts are more than fulfilled by animal rescue. One should go with their own heart and mind, not a socially imposed ideal, which is not ideal for everyone
Oh thank you so much for sharing! We need to hear so many voices like this because I think so many women actually don’t want to have children.
Incredible that you are a monk and work with animal welfare. Thank you so much for washing ❤️
The reasons why I don’t want kids is because they’re loud, annoying, and gross sometimes. It gets on my nerves, I don’t want to be around them I’m sorry.
I don't think you have to be sorry! Why have kids if they don't make you happy? I think it's great :)
I am a mom to two children, and everything you are saying is 100% true! I have been extremely fortunate to have a loving husband, and the financial means to be home with my kids (they are now teens). We have had to make many sacrifices in order for me to be home with them, but honestly, even as teens, I only work outside of the home 1 or 2 days a week and I am still very busy with them both, especially because they do online school. My one child also has health problems, and I have always been here to care for him. Things are different now in this world, the cost of living has skyrocketed. We were fortunate to buy our home 24 years ago for 1/4 of what people are paying now, but we still have to be very careful with our spending. Grocery costs, omg don't even get me started on the cost of feeding two teens!! I definitely have not, and will not encourage my own kids to have children. If they want to great, but I hope and pray they take every single thing into consideration that you have mentioned here.
You are a very caring and thoughtful Mom ❤️ Thank you for leaving me a message. I would feel lucky to grow up with a parent as tuned in to 'the situation,' as you are and, as enabling. I hope we both (and all) continue to find our way 🙂🥦💰
Betty White, American entertainer, has talked openly about never wanting a child.
Although Betty White never had children of her own, she became a stepmother to Allen Ludden's three kids when she married him in Las Vegas back on June 14. 1963. His three kids were by his first wife, Margaret. She died of cancer back on October 30, 1961; nearly a month after Password debuted on CBS.
I find you very brave for speaking about that matter because it is such a sensitive subject in this society and a lot of content creators avoid it in order not to loose followers. I agree with everything you said. I absolutely love your content, so thank you for sharing your wise thoughts with us.
Thank you so so much. It really means a lot, even I am nervous about posting these types of videos but I think they’re so important. I did loose followers within an hour of posting, but I doubt they watched the video. Comments like this make it all worth it though!
You are so well spoken and I just love your demeanor! This is my first time seeing you but I scrolled through your channel and already see so much content I want to watch! Thank you for this video, I 10000% agree with everything you said. I’m 26 and I honestly don’t really want kids. I wish people talked about this more, I feel like too many parents are immature and have not done their own inner work when they bring another human into this life which obviously creates problems. And yes x1000 about educating the older generations about climate change and what they can do before the kids. I know too many adults who don’t even try to reduce their carbon footprint and expect the kids to take care of it later. It’s really hypocritical and irresponsible in my opinion, especially cause those same people often says it’s selfish to not have kids. I hope more people talk about this and especially the benefits of not having kids. I also think it’s important to say that people who are wise thoughtful and caring can still be a great positive influence for future generations without being a parent
Thank you so much!!! And yes!!!
You put very nicely every argument together that I have been talking about regarding not having children for past 30 years. Thank you.
You are so right on! You have truly addressed every important point that should be seriously considered. Having children or a child is a very big decision. I married a man who didn't want children. He felt he couldn't handle it. As time went on, I realized I definitely didn't want a child in my day to day life. My main reason was I needed to take care of myself. I also grew up in an emotionally turbulent home. My parents were very good, but they did not get along and divorced. Now I have been a teacher to thousands of children and have grown deeply from this experience over the many years. I have also experienced that in "this lifetime" I get to have time out from motherhood. This means I get to care and develop myself and become accomplished in my career. Both choices are fine. It all depends on what is right for "you." No one knows this except you. It is your beautiful choice and right. I loved your video. Thanks for making it!
One other serious consideration that people don't talk about are our personality traits/ personal strengths and limitations. Im a very disorganized fly by the seed of my pants kind of gal, and i realized that my husband is also very disorganized. I realized this personality trait (being organized) is kind of essential for me to feel like a good parent. I know that no matter how much i work on being organized it will always be a struggle, i dont want a child to have live in that chaos, nor do i want the added chaos of having to organize another being's life !
I loved this video ❤ My main reason for not wanting a child is not needing one. Family life is not a lifestyle for me, I prefer spending most of my time alone.
I love that you are so confident in your choice, beyond any worries from peer-pressure! I wish you a very fulfilling life. I know from experience that this sort of support is easy to provide, yet not necessarily what we are always met with 😃
Thank you so much for your videos! Especially this one - it's incredibly helpful and resonated with everything that's been on my mind (I'm 34, childless, still undecided). The final points are something I often contemplate as well. I had a childhood where my mom wasn't quite ready for motherhood, she was very emotionally distant and super cold (being born and raised in cold Russia added some issues also). I still fight with the rejection trauma, understanding the immense responsibility of parenting. P.S. Also, thanks for all the videos about Sweden - I adore that country, and I started watching your videos because my closest friend in the world is Swedish :) Good luck to you! You're awesome!
Congratulations and thank you very much for making this video! It seems very brave and clear. These are the kind of things that are not openly talked about, and they are all true, absolutely! I am 48 years old and together with my husband, we have decided not to have children even though we are both pediatricians and love children, and we have a life full of children. Thank you for your video, thank you for telling the world, "if you don't want to have children for whatever reason, it's better not to have them, and it's better for everyone." I really liked your video, thank you.
I was 23 when I decided I didn't want children. I am now 69 and it was the best decision I ever made exclamation point I have struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life and just recently diagnosed with bipolar II I'm amazed that my instincts were so clear about that decision
That is wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing!
My darling, your feelings are valid. It’s your body, your choice your life and SUPER proud of you for making this video. I share some of your childhood experiences. I suffered horrific abuse and abandoned to look after my dying mom as only a child. Still healing from all the physical m, mental, emotional as well till today. I struggle with some of the things you do and that’s how I feel too that my life will be worse with a child. So saving myself and healing from all of it. So proud of you again. Stand by what you believe. We stand with you
Omg I have goosebumps... thank you for your video, I resonate soo much with you!!! Big hug ❤
Wow thank you! I was quite nervous making this video, so it means so much to me ❤❤❤
Thank you Johanna for your beautiful, thoughtful video on the subject that has been on my mind for a few years now... I have not seen any other video like that ever. I am 33 and happily married for 10 years. If you asked me 10 years ago if I want to have kids, I would have said "Yes, of course!", but in the last couple of years I have lost the desire to actually become a mother. My husband has been always supportive of my decision in that regard, either way: if we had a child, he would love it to death, if we didn't have a child, he would be absolutely fine with that too. Basically, he said "It's your body Babe, I support you in any decision you make". I feel so, so grateful to him for that... Maybe because of that I felt a lot less pressure to have a child. I also grew up in an unhappy house. Like with your husband, my parents stayed married but didn't love each other (for 30 years!!). They basically hate each other now. I really wonder, if they would have stayed together so long if they didn't have children. Probably no. But... They had a lot more pressure to have children (back in the day, in pre-1990 Poland). My life now is very good and positive and I am not sure how well caring for a child would fit into it... Recently, while talking about that with my husband, we concluded that if we did have a child we would most likely spoil it rotten 😂 We would love on it all the time and probably that would lead to creating a "little emperor" or a little "queen" instead of a well-developed and self-reliant human being. LOL
Anyway, I noticed that you also have videos about living in a van. Awesome! We also converted an old van into a campervan and travelled with it extensively throughout the States. Now we live in and renovate an old sailboat on the East Coast (in Georgia) with plans to explore the Caribbean when we finish the refit. Thank you for the video and I wish you all the best! 💓 Justyna
Wow thanks so much for your comment Justyna (and I love your name)! :D
It's so interesting, isn't it! So easy to say "yes", but then we get older and we are happily married, and something changes. Your husband sounds amazing! I think it's the same for me. But I could've never been with a man who pressured me to have a child. I have always thought it a bit odd when men have very strong opinions of having a child, since it is made through the female body...
That is amazing, how cool! I've never been much on the ocean, but I've seen a lot of people on TH-cam living on sailboats and it sure looks amazing
Agree to most rated comments here. My sister had a baby last year, we love him so much all the way but it doesn't mean that I want to have kids too. As you said, just after the first few years we will send them to the school and live with that system for 18 years or more, I think life is a little too complicated today and in my opinion, it's better not to bring more kids to this complex life. Btw, I don't think that I will be happy if taking too much responsibility for someone else.
Thank you for making this video, I think your talk is very clear and pure!
Thank you ❤️ I could not imagine giving my child away 8 hours a day, it would break my heart. I think it's unfortunate that we work os much .
This felt like hearing myself, you basically said everything that I usually say when trying to explain to others that not having kids is not selfish (quite the opposite) and it doesn't mean that someone is a bad person. To everyone who wants a child, please also consider that babies grow up really fast so they won't be babies for the majority of the time during parenting and also they start asking really tough questions quite early on and your answer will have an impact on their lives so be prepared for that too. Another thing is that having less kids is having less competition and this makes wages go up, just like after the great plague in the 17th century, landowners and rich people were begging peasants to go work for them as there were barely any people left to work in the fields and manufactures, thus wages tripled compared to when the peasants were the ones begging for work.
Such good points! Thanks for your comment
Your commentary is fascinating! As an American wife, mom, and grandmother it is refreshing to hear your thoughts on having children. You have, though, made a decision. Your decision is not to have a child or children until you and your husband are either ready or not. How wonderful! Whatever and whenever you do come to an answer, it will be the right one for your life. Please do not let society dictate how you live in this world.
I love your comment
Wow such a amazing video and so well thought out in how you express yourself. I loved it. I am 63 with 2 grown children and 2 grandchildren. I cannot say if I had my time over again that I would have children again. Pregnancy, childbirth were an absolute breeze. It was the years since, that have been difficult and challenging with a lot of heartache. My daughter who is 30 has decided not to have children and I fully support her.
My very troubled 37 year old son had two children to different mothers and they are wonderful grandchildren. We are raising one - our 14 year old grandson because his parents are not able to. It’s been a shock to our psyches to be back raising a teenager and it wasn’t exactly a choice. He is a lovely lad though- in spite of his parents and we are all settling in well to life together.
Kids are like puppies and kittens - cute when they are little lol. If you do decide to have children, I think you will be a very thoughtful excellent mother - homeschooling. There is a You Tuber with a channel called Jason and Julie who have 10 children and they homeschool. Their life is so interesting as they are organic homesteaders and I am amazed at their life. I think you could relate to them. 😊
Thank you for such a lovely and heartfelt comment ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I love this topic and I fully agree with the importance of having this conversation. And with not having a kid without actively deciding to have a kid. There was no accident if you deliberately stopped all means to avoid getting pregnant.
I'm childfree for now. I found the right person, but we still have so many professional goals we want to achieve before our priorities change (by becoming 3). Plus, not enough money to provide everything a child needs. On top of that, I also have a lot of pros and cons and I don't want to have a child unless I am 100% sure. So I'll keep thinking about it while doing things that fulfill me for now.
Although I cannot stop myself from thinking things like: "If we had a child now, he or she would be in a close age to his or her cousins and that would be so nice for all". The thing is I am not ready and therefore it will always be better for all, if I'm ready before becoming a mom in any case.
Yes, I completely agree. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. We have a lot of similar questions. The work/money/ready-questions are the biggest ones for me too.
Omg finally I find someone that has the same feelings as I do! Wanting to experience pregnancy and childbirth but not wanting to raise the child afterwards due to a lot of factors. Thank you for speaking out, I don’t feel so alone now 🙏🏼
Oh how amazing to hear! Me too then. I’ve never found someone who feels the same way ❤️❤️
Being pregnant is like being really fat and can’t lay on belly for 9 months. I didn’t feel any kicks and didn’t feel anything else, just got really fat. I’d rather never experience it again. During childbirth I didn’t feel anything because they gave me painkillers drugs. Motherly feelings didn’t come when I saw a child. Only after caring for child every day I got attached. Having to raise a child was the best experience of my life. Child loves me like nobody ever. Don’t regret having my child. But pregnancy and delivery is not fun.
@@sunbox4700 I’m so sorry to hear about your experience. Medication and not feeling in control over your birthing experience can cause depression or not feeling connected to your child. It’s not okay, but unfortunately so common in medical practice. But happy to hear that you are happy now ❤️
Wow. This was so well thought out. I am impressed by your insight. You are very wise, and I believe you will make the right decision for you. 💗 ~Mother of three adult children.
Thank you so much! Your comment means so much, it feels almost spiritual in a way ❤️
After watching/listening to this video, I feel enormous gratitude to you for articulating so well
many of the things that I've thought about this issue for so long! I do have 2 children and love them very much, but wish I had this video to listen to 25 years ago!
Oh thank you so much!
Thank you for kind words. For me I’ve always wanted to have children and was aware of all the responsibilities. I’ve got sick in my middle of twenties with cancer then I have healed and finally found my soul mate and got married. My husband passed away in September and now I’m 33 and suppose to start from zero again? What are the odds to find someone wonderful to love enough to start a family with before my biological clock shuts down. I focus on myself now but I’m smart enough to understand that it is just simply not always in our hands to control how life will happen.
Sorry to hear that
Loved your point 8, and am glad you quickly included it despite your reservations 😊
I don't have kids because I believe choosing to (not) have kids is a joint expression of what you and your significant other want from life. I haven't found that person yet and am sure that of all the people I can spend the rest of my life with to the fullest of our happiness, with some that will include childeren and with others it won't. I don't think you will truly know untill you have found that relationship, and I also think this particular desire is a joint one that doesn't truly exist outside of the union.
I do love hearing this perspective, especially from someone who shares similar spiritual beliefs as me. The more spiritual I become.... the actual less I want a child to distract me from it. I don't like feeling guilty about it but I don't want to change... not physically nor lifestyle wise. I LOVE freedom and don't think I get enough of it already. It makes me deeply upset feeling my freedom being infringed upon and I can only guess how much more upset I would get with even less. I think babies of friends and family are cute from afar but everytime I spend time... I'm so grateful they're not mine. So yeah.. if others feel this way... just know you're not alone in not giving a care about wanting what we want and not wanting what we don't. 🙌🏽
such a great video, each of your points mentioned are worth listening to. thank you!
This is the very first video who helped me about the decision to have kids or not, THANK YOU ♥And I think I don't want to be a mom. You said something very smart : "We don't know what we're missing when we don't have any kids, but they don't know what they are missing when they have kids". This helped me so much thank you ! Btw I'm a 26 yo girl and not in a relationship yet
I'll also add that a question to really ask ourselves is "how to live a fulfilling life without children ?"
Thank YOU so much ♥
I think the fact that you have given it this much thought tells me you are in a better place than most. I have two kids and one granddaughter. It was sometimes very hard, but very worthwhile.
Thank you
Such a great vlog! My husband and I have been married 41 years. We have no children. Sometimes, unless a couple adopts, there will not be children. We both wanted children, but only one wanted to adopt. Bottom line decision was no children. For me, having children is better by only 51% over not having children at 49%. I really enjoy the freedom, less worry, easier financial life and employment opportunities that the decision not to adopt provides.
I would love to hear more about how you came to terms with that decision. If I end up not having children, I imagine I'll have to go through a grieving process.
This a wonderfully made video. You have the wisdom that most 70-80yrs old don't even have! 👏👏👏👏👏👏. In fact I think one is only ready when they have thought through what you have just said.
Oh how kind ❤️
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This is so smart, thank you for your clarity and insight.
Excellent points. It would be great to watch a video from you about finding the right partner and the journey towards making the decision about marriage and knowing that he’s the right one. Or alternatives to modern dating 🙏🏼
That is a fantastic idea! I’ve added it to my list. And alternatives to modern dating are so important!! I definitely didn’t meet my husband through dating, and don’t think our relationship would’ve happened if we did!
I need friends like you 🥲 thank you for sharing your thoughts! The world would be so much cooler if people had this self-awareness 💜
As many have expressed, this was so beautifully and eloquently put.
Thank you so so much, your comment really warmed my heart
I want to have a child with my partner, but the cost of living is just outrageous.
Wow, just came across your channel, love your soothing voice, and good points! Also, losing your mother like that must've been so traumatic, hope you are healing. I can empathize, I think many people who do not want kids have traumatic childhoods.
Thank you! ❤️ I still want kids very much, just not sure it's right for me... But I will make a video on my mother too, because I think I could've benefited from it.
❤I loved your logic and wise advice… thank you for talking from experience I understand you & agree 💯
Thank you for this video! It was so so long waited and wanted and so necessarily. What a smart woman. I hope this rational way of thinking to spread and give voice to a much larger public cause people should be more responsible for their own decisions. We should reset all the brainwashing inflicted by older generation and stop doing copy and paste with our lives just to fit the social norms. Everyone should be responsible and mindful and wise and honest with themselves when making big decision in their life. Choose the what feels the best for you! I wish Love, peace and wisdom to everyone!
You are so right. My first child's birth was... how shall I put it... awful. I ended up with an ABC-midwife (this was in the 90's) and all she cared about was that the birth should be natural and the curtains in room lovely. So without any pain relief, after hours... well, it's a wonder my baby didn't die actually. So my two other children came out with a caesaren section. That's less stress and less pain. I love my children, but looking at the world right now... I'm actually not sure if I would have any children at all if I were young today. That said, this is my own opinion, not anyone elses. Just me. And yes, I wanted to be the perfect mother of three and managed to burn myself out completely, leaving me with chronic panic anxiety. I think we need to respect other people's choices if the want or do not want to have a child. It's like society demands us to have children. I cannot understand why. And the constant questioning to couple who doesn't have children "When will you start having kids?". Yes, I'm not perfect, I did ask that when being younger, but now... I never ever ask it. Ever. Thanks for sharing all the great insights and your own personal opinion. I think you and your husband are wonderful people! Lovely couple! Love 💗
Oh wow. That must’ve been so difficult. Researching for this video I read a very interesting study about midwifes in
Hospitals, and how they know they are not listening to the mothers because they don’t have time or there is too much pressure. So many of them expressed constant guilt and failure. Very interesting.
It’s such a shame you weren’t listened to. And so terrible it still is like that today! But happy you have your family and you can see all aspects.
I rarely hear someone think so clearly about having children when they’ve had children, so I think your comment is fantastic. I actually think I would’ve had kids without question if I was this age in the 90’s, but now I’m not so sure. So its so validating that you also see that perspective. Thank you again ❤️
@@SagaJohanna Hi again, I think your video has so many values in it that I hope people watching it can really start to think. Not going with the flow. Just because you get a partner, you have to have kids. That is so wrong. I don't actually think mothers are listened to even today when giving birth. Midwifes and doctors are always right.... noooot! Well, many thinks they are. So wrong. Stupid comments come from people who doesn't think. Many are our relatives and friends. They, often, doesn't mean harm or hurt, they are just curious. When I finally had my three children (being adopted I wanted my own children and I was happy to have three) I was instead asked "Two wasn't enough?" Where before it was "When are you getting pregnant?" or "Is X ever gonna have a little brother or sister?". I had a choice. Either I take in all the harm and hurt OR I just let it pass and ignore it. I ignore it and that helped me a lot. Much love
@@Bumbledora Thank you so so much! Yes, and it is so silly and actually, stupid! And your example just shows that. First they say "when are you going to have. children, soon it'll be too late", then they say "haven't you had enough now". Like, it is never good enough and we can't do it right, no matter how hard people try. And I think of my friends who are a bit more sensitive to their families opinions, and they work so so hard to satisfy their parents but when it comes to having children & getting married, nothing is good enough.
I had a friend who dated a guy I did not like, he was not very kind, but he was for sure charismatic. When she told her parents they broke up they said "oh no, how are you going to find someone that nice". And I almost screamed. Shouldn't the first question be "Oh i hope you are okay, was there a reason you broke up that you want to talk about".
I think ignoring it is absolutely the best way. But still difficult sometimes!
@@SagaJohanna I know it's difficult just to ignore, but eventually you will manage to do it. Oh poor friend of yours! That's so bad to say. Love
You are so right 👍🏻 I agree with you. Its so happy to see someone thinking like that 💞😇
That is so lovely to hear. I think we are many more people who think about this than we know 🥰❤️
you explain your points very well! thank you for this video :)
Thanks so much :)
I don’t want children for mostly the same reasons ♡ I love how you express it. Thank you for shearing ♡
As a man who doesn’t want to have kids thank you very much
I am a 72 year old man. I think the first video I watch was 19 weird things Swedish people do. I enjoy listening to you. Calm and intelligent and well thought out video. I have never been married and have no children. I see several more of your videos I want to watch. I don't think the minimalist beauty routine will apply to me.. Thank you
Oh thank you so much !!
I was expecting a stupid. There are too many people in the world video. But found almost every word you said amazing. So intelligent and thought. So many good points
So brave of you to address this topic. I really resonate. I have a daughter though and she is just as much my teacher as I am her go to for support. She was born wise and independant. I said she would never hinder me from anything and she never has. We are best friends and talk every day. She is almost 30 now and we have been through a lot.. migrated, divorce etc so we have a strong bond and she is my pride and joy! The best time of my life was being pregnant and breastfeeding. Giving birth was so natural. 🤰I totally agree on everything you say about school..do your shadow work etc.and to be with your child if you create one! I had so many family members who wanted to take care of her so its like I never raised her alone! But I have the honour of being her mum 💞 so even if I never achieved anything greater than a mediocre Swedish life... I brought her onto this Earth to light it up a bit 🌟 Namaste
Wow this made me tear up ❤️ I still don’t know if I will have a child but in my body I can feel how natural birthing and pregnancy/breastfeeding is to me. It’s what my body desires to do. And the older I get, the more I think that a life like yours is the most inspiring and meaningful way of life ❤️❤️❤️
I think its really brave of you to post this! And we've been thinking about the same topic! I have thought about making a video along this vein for a long time, but hesitating because its such a sensitive topic, but i think you handled it wonderfully - kudos girl. Plus i love your filming set up with the plant and the natural light and the boke in the background. Love!
Thank you so much Jean, that really means a lot. I was a bit nervous posting it too, but I think there are so many voices saying “the opposite” that it was needed and I overall got very positive feedback, both from parents and people who either weren’t sure or know they don’t want kids. I would absolutely watch your video if you made one! I’m sure it would be so useful for people
Thanks for another thoughtful, sensible video. Not having kids should be something no one should judge, but people do. Too many seem to think it's almost a duty to pressure non-parents into having kids. As other commenters have said, your thoughtful video will help folks see things they may not have considered.
I grew up in a dysfunctional, abusive home, with eleven siblings. I thought long and hard about whether to have children. I'm not a woman, so obviously pregnancy was not part of my thinking. But it was, of course, for my wife. In the end, we waited longer than most to marry, and then years again before having a child. I was 40, and she was 36. We had only our son, and made plenty of parenting mistakes. But our son is 21 now, and doing as well as we could have hoped. Being his dad is, without any doubt, the best thing that has happened to me, except maybe next to sharing my life with my wife.
We both worked with kids for decades before having our own, working in childcare. We saw all these kids every day who were not with their parents, and, especially with kindergartners, spent far more time with them than any other adults in their lives. Before having our own child, we decided to do our best to spend as much time with him as we possible could, working part-time and choosing to live with less. Now that our son is grown, and we are of course too old to have any more, we now have trained to adopt kids out of foster care. Parenting gives us joy, and I think we're good at it. We have more love to share, and as someone who spent a couple of years in foster care myself, I hope we can help give a kid or three a forever family.
That is amazing! I think it shows that you truly understand what’s importante
Please share this video with anyone you’d think would appreciate it! Finding this type of content can be difficult, and I really want this video to reach every woman who feels alone or unsure about having a child. And I think it can be a great conversation starter - on a conversation we all need to have! ❤❤❤
My oldest son is 32, has autism, and lives at home because of other challenges. Children will never be in the cards for him. My middle son is 29 and he and his wife are having difficulties conceiving. He has wanted to be a Dad since he was a young boy. My daughter is 21, and also on the spectrum. She has always known that she does not want children, for many of the reasons you listed. Almost all of them, actually. I would be thrilled to be a grandma, but I will be perfectly fine if I never become one. I have always wanted my children to choose their own paths in life and not make decisions based on how they think others want them to live. I love my children dearly. They are my life, and I can't imagine not having them. But I certainly wish I would have thought about the things you mentioned in your video that I never even considered. I was only 18 when I first got pregnant, and I was not emotionally mature enough at the time or fully capable of providing them a stable life financially. I struggled for many years, yet regardless, they turned out to be wonderful people. Like you said, being a parent is a lifetime. Would I do it again today if I were younger? Honestly, you gave me so much to think about...I don't know.
THANK YOU!!! She is SO on point!
Thanks so much!
This was all so well said. Thank you
Thank you ❤️
Love your wonderful thoughtfulness. I want to go to Sweden! I have no children. Mostly because I never found a right partner to commit to this task with. I was never one who had to have a child and I was always clear I did not want to do it alone. I was always ambivalent about children and I am a boomer so really the first generation that could actually say no to having children. I did go through a long period where I had to mourn the loss of no children when I was aging out of childbearing years. Children represent future and a way to give back. Very important motivators in life. I am a therapist by profession and I helped to raise a lot of children and adults in my career, very rewarding. So much more to say on this topic. I’m curious how. Your ideas will evolve throughout your life. Keep thinking and sharing, you are a delight! All the best from Seattle Washington.
Thanks so much for this insightful video. I believe that every point you made is very valid.
Wow, thank you ❤
Very smart . . Never hurry into something so important. It's a beautiful thing that so many people have made the decision not to have children.
I think so too!
Don’t have to tell me twice 😂😂😂 This was great!
Haha! Thank you ❤️❤️
I wish everyone would think like this. This is a very responsible perspective.
Thank you so much!
Hi, I am at point six in the video. Btw great video so far! I kinda understand your friends. I mean I respect your rule given your experience and even without it it’s a valid point. I just think, a lot of people do have mental issues. Maybe they just werent diagnosed. I believe that you can be a good parent even if you struggle with your mental health. In my experience and what I have heared, it’s not likely that struggles like depression are cured and you never hear from it again. It’s more likely, that this is a topic you might need to face over and over again. Just because you don’t have symptoms doesn’t mean you’ll never have them again. I think it’s something you might include in your thoughts about your rule.
I look at my parents in their 80s and am 100% convinced their old age would be better if they hadn’t had children. I love overseas but my two older siblings are still in my country. Yet, my father is my mother’s sole caregiver now she has advanced dementia. My two siblings don’t contribute financially, on the contrary, one of them is actually a financial burden. I help financially when I can, but it’s not enough.
Had they not had children, they would have a much better financial situation now which would alleviate the pressures on my dad. Children are a waste of time and money. I would be 100% with not having been born if that meant my parents would have a better time in their most vulnerable years.
Do they regret?
They could be in a bad position without kids too, you can't really know how it would be
No, they wouldn’t @@Natalia-bt8uz
My husband and I had this conversation before we got serious, while we’re got serious, and married. I never wanted kids, but he was on the fence with it. He wants kids but he respects my decision.
However, I knew such a decision to want kids is huge, so I talked to him many times that he is free to leave me to find someone who wants kids, but he’d always tell me that he is fine without kids. It was suspect he’d say that, but I decided not to pry too much. And we got married eventually.
And then recently he said he feels he really wants kids because of the attention it’ll get from his family, how his family loves babies, and he wants that for us… but all I see is me being the one to do most of the work, I’m often burnt out already, and taking care of a child, I believe, a women should be very strongly wanting motherhood, knowing outcomes and the sacrifices. And I believe I can’t make sacrifices, mostly because of my mental health. If I end up pregnant, I’ll keep it, but that’s only if it’s an accident. So I’m strongly considering getting my tubes tied, but I don’t want to hurt my husband… I don’t know. He hasn’t brought up a baby on a hot minute, but as things are, I’m sure I will regret having a child.
Stay true to your feelings. Do not have a baby for your husband. You have to do what’s best for you. We only live one life. Just be 100 % honest and if he loves you then he will accept that otherwise he will have to move on. Sending positivity your way 🤗
So your husband wants kids to get some attention from his family?... I think he needs more therapy than kids...
You are so delikate in Talking about your opinions, that I can't image anyone could be upsset abut it!! Also I would like to Say, that I like listen to you and I'm happy for you to find you way of living 🙃
Natural birth isn’t painless as you paint it. I have a friend who had extremely short labour, by the time she got to the hospital she was too dilated for an epidural and had to go through it naturally. Worst pain of her life.
But short
Miss saga Johanna, you are smart 🙏 I for the most part support you. Thank you for being true to yourself. Having children should be by choice, not mandatory. The world now has changed people's ways of lives. Life is very expensive and the child is an unpredictable investment! Taddeo from Durham, North Carolina
I mostly agree, minus the “pain free” birth. There’s not such a thing as a “pain free” birth without medication. The process of contractions is extremely painful and so is giving birth. You will realize that when you decide to have a child.
This video was really helpful I would too like to have a child when I’m older I just don’t know if I’m gonna have time or find the right person and how I am going to feel when I’m easing a child or how I’m gonna feel during pregnancy and birth but I’m sure I’ll figure it out and see if I will in the future tysm for the video this was really helpful I love your channel so amazing keep up the amazing content😍💕
Thank you so much! That is exactly what I wanted this video to be 💞 Thank you!
I didn’t feel anything during pregnancy, just felt really fat. During childbirth was a little pain until they gave me drugs. Trust me, it’s nothing special to be really fat or have pain. I don’t understand why people want to experience it. Just get fat and you will feel exactly like pregnant women feel.
There are no magical feelings whatsoever.
@@sunbox4700 I think you should watch Ellen Fisher’s TH-cam channel! Her idea of pregnancy is a closer look of what I would want! :)
Thanks for your video. This is a hard one.. because your points are all valid. I found myself watching this video because my partner loves kids but doesn’t want to have them, in her words for the better of the potential child. She too worries about poverty or not being able to help it achieve what it wants to, she grew up poorer compared to me. She worries if we are able to provide all that a child needs, she struggles with disability and although she’d make a fantastic mum worries the child would either miss out on 2 healthy parents or be upset at times her illness flares up. I on the other hand have ALWAYS wanted children and due to circumstances beyond my control found myself at 29 today with no kids. I would feel blessed to be pregnant and give birth, much like you I am fascinated deeply and always watch and read about pregnancy birth etc. But as much as I adore babies, I don’t just want a baby, I want to raise a child, help it grow into a caring responsible stable adult, help it make choices for a good future and many happy times. I wouldn’t kick it out the door at 18, I wouldn’t stop cuddles when it got to 5. I’m very maternal, and as much as it’s breaking my heart, I know yourself and my partner who’s basically raised many of the points you did, are right, the times I’ve visualised all those things I’d do with my future children, seen their faces in my dreams. I dunno how I’m going to get over a 20 year yearning. But I love my partner, I don’t want to split over the subject or rush in and then raise an unhappy child. God the world sucks 😢 for everyone happy with their choice, I am pleased for you, no one should be bullied to do anything they don’t want to do, I’m just an unfulfilled maternal mess 😂
It is really hard, and it feels like we're very similar. I would look into fostering. I used to think it wasn't something I was interested in, but hearing people do it it sounds like the most worthwhile thing ever!
My partner (who happens to be disabled) and I agreed that we do not want children, and the reasons we gave to each other were understood and respected. Granted, there's a lot of history behind our relationship as well as ourselves as individuals, but that's just one part of the story. Relationships take effort, and the relationship between the parent and child (like you stated) should be healthy. Needless to say that being an aunt feels like enough to me, and while I'm not quite married, I do feel like my partner could eventually make a great uncle! 😊
That's great to hear! And being an aunt is also amazing :D
You nailed it! Number one of your reasons - this is so spot on. I thought I am the only person in the world who thinks this way. I know people who enrolled their yet unborn child to a nursery - straight after getting pregnant. Because nurseries are generally overcrowded and it's hard to get a child into them. People see nothing wrong about it - while for a child it might be a recipe for a lifelong trauma. Children need love, they just absorb it and grow. if you leave your 6 month old baby in a daycare - do you think it is surrounded by love there? I think it is surrounded mostly by frustration of nursery employees. I don't want to judge those who are in a difficult situation and have no choice. I'm talking of couples who plan parenthood this way and think it's normal. No, it is not. Thank you Saga for mentioning this, because it seems to be a taboo subject. You are doing a great job by raising awareness, I actually hit the Subscribe after watching this🙂
Aw thank you so much! I really appreciate it! After working at a very good Montessori kindergarden I was convinced this was not the way to go. Seeing the 6 month olds being "schooled in", aka crying until the parents came, was just the most traumatic and sad experience ever. And most moms wouldn't want to leave their babies, but are forced to because of norms! I hope I can help change some peoples views on this
Great video with many thoughtful views!
I’m truly on the fence about having kids. I’m turning 30 soon and I guess I’ve been feeling pressure to decide, especially the past couple of years. Like it’s now or never. The thing is that I think I didn’t truly realize that I (ME) could be a mother until quite late. Probably late teens. The emotional reality of that has only sunken in lately and I’ve been seriously toying with the idea to the point of feeling a bit crazy. Going back and forth every day. I thought that I wanted kids because I became so engrossed in the topics of pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum, but I’m not sure if it is just pure fascination or an actual desire to experience it myself.
I’ve also come to self diagnose as autistic since the past few years and realize that I need a lot of alone time to function. Burnout and health issues in relation to that add to my ambivalence. My partner really wants children and I really think that he should have because he would be a great dad. Not sure if I should though. Part of me feels relief actually realizing that I don’t need to have any.
Like you say, there is not a ton of representation of child-free women out there to relate to. Should probably pour my thoughts out to someone in person rather than the youtube comment section, but hey, I like to sift through other people’s comments so maybe somebody can relate to the ambivalence 🤷♀️
The problem is that people treat babies as puppies. They don’t understand that they grow into adult humans. 😂
Hey - I didn’t see the natural birth video you said will be linked in the description. Did I miss it?
Oh didn't I! Thanks for checking. Here they are :
th-cam.com/video/uBC2hZ9jN1A/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/pEJHXtPi8Xg/w-d-xo.html
There are so many kids who dont live in happy homes, who are in need and I feel more inclined to help them as much as I can than just make more
I just subscribed recently to your channel after watching a video about anxiety, so first I wanted to say congrats for this channel 🎉 It is amazing and so brave when somebody is available to talk about important topics with honesty and so much love 👏❤ This one is also an important topic! This is my opinion and my advice for you and for myself as persons learning to manage our emotions to avoid anxiety or depression: ❤ I can see on you how much you want to be a mom and love kids as I do. 💜 What if you are overthinking this chapter of your life because you want to be the best mom like I want to be? 💙Why if you are analyzing the option of no kids because you are scare that you can’t handle everything as I am scare as well? I always have the need to have a clear picture of my future but I have realized it is impossible doesn’t matter how much I prepare for it, and it is because is FUTURE, and I can’t control FUTURE. But is this a automatic behavior to be more prepare and to be safe in that future right? Well, I have realized that when I wanted control future fears start because there is no way I can predict all scenarios. That fear trigger anxiety right? Are you a perfectionist like me? lol Well, I think is important prepare our self for a new job, be a mom, etc but we need to put a line between prepare for the future and control the future. Because if we don’t put that line maybe we are getting worries for scenarios than never are going to happen!!! I understand and respect your rule about be a mom. But I would love you do a video, and so same research about how many happy moms with anxiety and depression feeling bless to be moms though they have mental health challenges as people without kids also have. Also how many healthy kids are born with mom needed to take medications like benzodiazepines and antidepressants because they decided they prefer the medication risk instead being with anxiety and pass all those emotions to the child. Like I said I respect all people here decide they don’t want to be a mom or they wanted and they were not available to be. It is a personal choice and nobody can’t judge without expectations. But people with anxiety and depression sometimes are too perfectionist and want to control everything, and I believe we should start to be more compassionate and flexible with our self, and put more energy in what we can resolve today instead what we maybe can’t resolve in the future. Just think about it! ❤Thanks for such amazing and humble video. It makes me reminding things I always forget but I know are very important for my interior peace. Send you a hug brave woman 🤗
Thank you so much!! What a lovely comment with so many important questions and considerations. I absolutely love children yes, but in many moments I really don’t want them. So a lot of questions for me there! ❤️❤️❤️
@@SagaJohanna well don’t think about kids now. Just have fun with your partner, and take care of your self. Continue doing whatever make you feel pretty, sexy and happy, and please continue doing videos because I enjoy them so much!!! But make sure to rest between editing videos!!! Ttyl 🤗
I just dont want an alien growing inside me 😂 My body is mine.
Hahah! ❤️ 👽
@@SagaJohanna hi when you grow older you will regret not having kids i hope you reconsider you decision
@@user-iz6sh3in8c how do you know that?
@@SagaJohanna im 46 and i used to have the same opinion about kids as yours later in my 30s i matured and thankfully i have agir and aboy time changes our look at things i reallly hope the best for you
@@user-iz6sh3in8c just because you change your feelings doesn’t mean I will right? That’s the opposite of being humble. Assuming other people will feel the same as you.
If you watch the video I speak clearly about the decision of having children. I do not say I don’t want to have kids.
Love that your video didnt had any profanity! You explained the topic very brilliantly and eloquently! ❤
Wow, thank you so much! That is very kind of you to say
“You just wanna grow old, sit still while everybody else runs…”
“In the meantime, you wanna have some fun…”
~ Nothing Else’ by Angus & Julia Stone
Great song. As a 39 year old woman with the heart of a child and soul of an old lady, this song speaks to me. I really appreciate your insight on this topic. You’re wise beyond your years.
My husband and I got married so we could enjoy life together. We’re very realistic about how a child would change our relationship. I’m 39, he’s 42. We both work full time, but we’ve got a beautiful lake home and we want to enjoy every moment we can with each other, experiencing as little stress as possible. For us, that means no kids. I respect all the parents out there who are doing a thankless job. It takes a special person to deal with the constant stress of raising a human, but that much stress isn’t for us. We’re looking forward to boating, updating our home, traveling, and living in the moment. Our time on this earth is limited and we don’t want to spend the rest of our lives unable to enjoy the present because we’re too worried about the future (as it pertains to raising a child). I’m grateful for all the parents out there because someone’s got to do it. I’m just happy it’s not me! 😵💫💕
I haven't finished listening to this yet, but I had to pause to say to you that I have goosebumps. Everything you say is precisely what I think and have been expressing for the past 15 years. Before then, I always stated, "I love kids, I would love to have three kids, BUT only if I find the perfect match, if we can both give our kids not only our love and time, but also a stable future, and only if we live in a safe and healthy environment." Many women, perhaps too many, have birth for selfish reasons, because their lives are empty, relationships are failing, or to receive government assistance. I know a lot of them, and I can't pretend to respect them because I don't. I don't because I care deeply about children, which is why I don't have any while they do and they do not really love them.
Now that I've seen the entire video, I can say we're literally on the same page on everything. By far, you are the first woman I have heard who shares my reasoning. We are 8 billion people, we do not live in paradise, and people all around the world are struggling. People who have children profess to be responsible, but they do not take responsibility because if they did, they would not have placed their children in such a word. Bored people wanting to have children while being in a lockdown was dubbed "baby boom" in 2020-2021. That was precisely the point at which a child-loving person would have declared, "Now that the world is heading in this direction, I will never have children." On the contrary, they decided to have them exactly while the news were talking about the "Apocalypse".
How wonderful to hear that! I've never really found anyone else either who cares so deeply about children that they want to put them before anything and everything else in this world
@@SagaJohanna It's not only about children to me but also about the environment as a whole. However, our discussion is centered on children, and your words echoed my sentiments perfectly. I have witnessed numerous instances where children bore the brunt of their mothers' disconnection, fathers' oppressive attitudes, and even business-minded parents who bore children for their help. Countless women have confided in me about having children to fix their failing marriages. These occurrences are monstrous, and that's why I am delighted to see this video and appreciate the fact that you are addressing this topic.
Well it comes down to personal choice but it is not a moon mission.My parents were not rich ,both worked hard ,we had a great childhood ,my mom was a role model,did a wonderful job and I will be forever grateful to her.
It sounds like you had great parents. Personally I really feel like I would want to stay home with my children, and that's what I would've wished as a child too. So that is what I'm considering :)
I agree with you. I always had huge guilt that I'm not available for my daughter and had to work 5 days a week, 15 days of vacation a year. I was a single mom. But that reason makes it more not of your choice but of your husband's choice. -- Mom of 27 yo.
I am against the pill too, I’ve never taken birth control, but I’m interested in your thoughts on it!
I’m planning to make a video about it, because I’m not happy about the pill and it’s side effects!! And I was convinced that taking the pill as a young teenager would “solve” my period problems by removing it… and no one saw that as an issue!
I've been thinking a lot lately how in the past, because not having children wasn't really a choice, it pushed a lot of women into circumstances they couldn't cope with or weren't cut out for. I did some recent research into my family ancestry and it struck me how sad it was that, in the early 1900's/1910's women were just expected to be married and having kids by a certain age. My aunt had 10 kids! it can't be very good for your body to have lots of them like this. Luckily she had a lovely husband, but a lot of women don't. I think if a lot of them could come back today and see the choices modern women have not to mention time and freedom, they would swap their time for the contraception and choice we have today.
Oh wow, very interesting to hear! I really wish they could.... Have you read "The Women's Room" by Marilyn French? It talks about how these women lived and I find it amazing.
Nice points! I plan to never have kids, and if I do have kids adopted ones. My family all either are abusive, abusive alcoholics, or abusive with anger management issues, and even at an early age I’m already starting to show signs of anger issues, wish things could be differently but it just solidifies no kids for me.
Thank you! I’ve had to work a lot to get rid of my anger issues!!
I am going to subscribe to your channel after watching this video while waiting for my car 🚗at the car dealership. You made some excellent points about not having 🧒 children. Thank you so much for sharing as someone on the autism spectrum and with a younger brother with cerebral palsy and a mentally ill mother and a very sad father. I can definitely make my own videos and it would feel good to make my own videos.
Tack för det här budskapet 🙏 det lugnar min åldersnoja 🥰😅
Åh så bra!!