Are all Narcissistic Men Gay?
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chapters
00:00 Introduction
00:59 Not all narcissistic men are secretly homosexual
01:51 Narcissist does not have any genuine likes
03:11 They are attracted to their perceived image !
03:41 Narcissists gain pleasure from your pain
04:45 They're extremely sexually fluid
06:00 Why females feel their partner maybe homosexual ?
07:30 The Conclusion
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i'm female and was with a male narcissist. He had a "best friend" he talked about a lot and he dropped a few hints he was gay... it's almost as if he wanted me to think that. Then my male roommate confessed to me that he was jealous OF ME when I was with the narcissist. The roommate was a frenemy and a traitor to me. I think most of these guys are bisexual and jealous of women. I got rid of both of them.
I too experienced this. The barc always gave $ to males especially atabs. That culture has much homsexuality, btw.
@@jackiepowell7513 atabs you mean Arabs?
@@jackiepowell7513 I know. These young arabs in the store look sweet as hell 😂
You know, my ex, who is a narcissist, had this ex-girlfriend who once asked him if he was gay.
Actually He is the one who told me that She asked him if he was gay and I never wondered about it before, until he brought that up.
Then it made me start to question the same thing because he's homophobic and he actually used to beat up gay men when he was a teen and young adult.
I don't think he's gay, but I do think it's possible that he may have been bi sexual and that was the reason he hated gay men so much that he used to beat and rob them and was quite proud of himself for it.
Btw I did Not know this about him when we started our relationship. He ended up bragging about it later on.
And yes he got caught doing that back then and did like 6 or 7 years in prison for it.
In my own experience, I can confirm jealousy. He didn’t try to hide it. It looks gay - and it was - but there’s much more going on.
Their pleasure is hurting a person in every way and it is sick
This is true on so many levels there definitely messed up men .
They are jealous of your physical beauty and want to humiliate it through denial or aversion
So true and the mirror our style want to become like us our traits very sick and confusing mine bashed my faith on me being too vanilla 😂😂😂😂
They're jealous of EVERYTHING good. It could be your intelligence, your cooking, your job success, your friendships, your happiness or personal achievements in general. They're genuine haters.
@@Cerez78 Yes ... true
YES
They are truly afraid and miserable.
"Any hole would do" makes perfect sense!!
Yes, including their own.
Is this the definition of bisexuality??
My late ex huisband to. From hole to hole, even animals. Cannot discribe it in words.
😂
Fact
My ex-husband had absolutely NO SEXUAL BOUNDARIES at all! It was extremely hurtful because whatever he did sexually, he brought it back to me! I knew it was all about power and supply for him! Got Out of that Madness over 18 years ago! Thank You God! 🙏
Yes once married my boundaries were raised had more rights, now I let him know he's a perve to get off, he throws back I'm frigid, that's rich I let him know, all men want to go to bed with a whore and wake up with a virgin (presumably as she won't know any better 🤔) stay well, that would not have been on his agenda... Your wellness I'm sure!
Narcissists have their excuse premeditated before breaking your boundaries. This way in their own mind they can do no wrong.
My wife brought something back to me.
In fact, that's why I do not want to have sex with her anymore. If she comes back pregnant, at least I will know, it's not mine.
Amen sis!!! ❤
@@sunshinedayz2172 Oh so TRUE!
I would say yes! Whoever gives them the most attention, they’ll screw it!
Or whoever will screw them. 💦
Lmao😂 true. Scary.
I'd guess that may be true more often than people realize. 😮
Yes, I feel like that is truth!
🤔😲🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭😆😆😆😆😆🤨👍
I SUSPECT MY NARC HUSBAND TO BE SECRETLY GAY!!!!! YOU ARE ALWAYS SPOT ON ITS CRAZY!!!!
I’ve been through this with my ex, and it is so devastating. Are you doing okay? I am here if you ever need any thing.
You're pretty.
I just went through this. I am not ok. Sometimes I want to die. I am hurting physically, emotionally, and mentally. I feel like I've been hit by a truck. It's been 140 days, with no contact whatsoever, and I cannot seem to get over the betrayal. This is so soul crushing.
❤
@@JessicaHillenbeckaren’t you glad he’s gone and the confusion and madness has stopped? Think about those good things. I am so glad to be off that merry go round carnival ride and you will be too. ❤. Keep going you’re getting closer to freedom.
Supply is supply. From what I have seen yes, it is sexual fluidity; they adapt for whomever is willing to supply them. It is “the high” and it doesn’t really matter where it comes from.
That’s why I think my ex did some things with his own mother
Eeww! Legit demonic filth! It is said that straight males would eventually turn in to a bisexual for abusing sexual drive from a supply.
@@mslinaababy in any case ...great that he is EX.....that you are FREE from him
@@mslinaababywtf wow … I knew they were weird with their mom ( enmeshed) but that? wtf
@@mslinaababySomething in my gut says that mom and sister (both have prostituted) has slept with my ex and possibly abused by a male family member. I know that he was assaulted in prison. He is definitely tormented.
Some hide their sexuality by ruining the marriage, blaming the wife … yet holding on and refusing to divorce. Because the cover is so important, they’ll damage her reputation as the explanation and proudly bear the burden.
That's what he did with his ex wife before me 💯🙏
It's so laughable, messy mind as Danish says
Or marrying a lesbian so they both have covers. No wonder he was horrified when I said he was a fake. Truly, a fake.
😂😂😂. As in. Seeeee see …. see what I have to put up with ? 😂😂😂😂.
@@margareth1504 Past tense, fortunately.
Let's talk about something else . This just makes my skin crawl when I recall my ex !! I think a narc man runs after women to prove to himself that he is straight . . .
The Truth hurts, but The Truth will set you free! We need more Truth talk, not less. Nobody truth-talking got too many decent people trapped in the first place.
This is just my own pet theory, but since women are generally weaker than men, then the male narcissist comes to see them as "inferior". It isn't necessarily about being attracted to women or men, but about being repulsed by weakness (which they're also drawn to). So a lot of narcissists see the subjugation of women as a source of high-quality supply. 😒
They're more like opportunists than legitimately attracted to men or women - whatever gender somebody is, they'll take it.
Yes, sometimes that's true!
They are just very sick people who don’t think normally. They are not worth anything because ,if you are normal, you are not capable of understanding their sick reasoning.
I have thought that to
Oh yes, the minute we were married the sex was withheld. And yes, he succeeded in making me feel totally imperfect. Wish I could erase that from my mind.
As soon as I started living with my ex narc in his house because I moved from another country we had almost no intimacy. I could not look sexy and attractive in a nice clothes because of his insecurities and I closed in myself. And then when I said that in a bed he was like a tree veeery boring he would then say that I did not use sexy clothes and la la la… Ahha so crazy
The same thing happened to me, only it came from my wife. We married when she was pregnant, there was little sex afterward. And later, none at all.
And yes, it stays in your head. Being called a dog, and the like. Coming from the closest person, it's painful.
@@natalyalomakina3800 yep cos it’s always the other persons fault
Saaaame
My x husband would tell me that I had defective DNA.
“Go with the flow” is their favorite word
Only dead fish go with the flow
@@amandam4148 haha
Ay yi yi I have heard that before and I was like no thanks it weirded me out deeply for some reason
So true
And...."keep an open mind" 😮😂
I just turned 40… I honestly get so scared to even think about dating ever again.. I don’t trust anyone and not sure I ever will again. My father was married to my mom for 25 years and I discovered he was gay. By the grace if God, my mother did not get aids from him. Then I dated 5 men long term and though I had my flaws, I was healthy, fun, cooked, contributed, loyal.. told I was attractive by others often.. so I couldn’t be that bad.. but they were all absolutely terrible at around year two.. alcoholism, abuse, cheating, lying, stealing. Ugh.. I can’t
I totally agree with you! I grew up with narcissists in my family and married one, too. I don’t really think that there are any single decent men my age left. I‘ll just live the rest of my life alone and focus on friendships.
Yes, I am beginning to think the same......rather alone than messed up by a narcissist.....
My dad had an affair with a woman that was transitioning to male an looked male🕵🏽♀️
My mom did everything!!!worked full time &cleaned & cooked ,corn ⭐...u name it the whole nine and very beautiful 😍...its never enuf for a narc
How non-homophobic of you to automatically jump onto “by the grace of god he didn’t give her AIDS…”
I’m a man who is attracted to men. My narc was my “best-friend” who considered himself straight. He wanted nothing to do with me sexually until I was walking away. He was getting desperate because I was a major source of supply at the time. He literally woke me up in the middle of the night the last time I was willing to sleep over with him. He was so desperate for me to stay that he was willing to have sex with me. I didn’t even know what to think and I couldn’t go through with it. The next morning he looked at me and said “you know, everyone’s a little gay right?” I was appalled
What!? " Everybody a little gay"
Sounds like a total user with no concern for others feelings. Gross.
😔😔
Wow. This rings familiar.
All men are Gay 99%
Narc are ultimate opportunists. If any situation, person, place, thing, concept - you name it - can be exploited, they will leave no opportunity to exploit it/them. For these evil monsters, it's all about what/who serves them what they desire in the way they want. Can authentic feelings or demonstration of love ever be expected from these liars? Absolutely not.
I found my narc's secret male escort page. On it, he'd written "I love all holes." He wasn't gay, just went both ways because he had no real identity. He told me he liked to "play" with gay men and laughed at them as "idiots." He had lots of women on the side too.
Fuckin gross. No boundaries and they see everyone as an object for their gratification
I wouldn’t let him touch me 😮
That actually makes as much sense as anything else to me. They don't have a real identity and no real boundaries, for that matter. 😢
“ he wasn’t gay?” … u sound like part of the problem …
@@jbrown2908 clearly we read that differently but hey it is what it is
Now I understand why some straight and good-looking guys seem to enjoy having a gay friend, even tho platonic. I'm just stroking their ego!?
This
Yes
They like to get hit on. But he hung out with gay guys for 3 weeks on a weds. For dinner a work connection? Then he came home and I asked how it went. He didn't say a word and had a kinda ashamed weird look about himself.
At a party a gay guy kept giving me the angry jealous WTF woman stare. Something happened. 😮
Gay woman here, been used as entertainment by "straight" women while they're between boyfriends, then told I'm ridiculous, imagining things while we've spent 6 months sleeping together like we're in a relationship. Turns out I'm always being used to get male attention (men think bisexual women are hot for some reason). The number of times this has happened has lead me to give up on dating completely. Narcissists always have a purpose for befriending someone, but most if the time we won't see it until we see other narcissistic traits.
Probably using you to create triangles and confusion within their other relationships also to have power and control.
Any hole is a goal - is what my demon ex-narc used to say as a 'joke' - sooooooooooo happy am free from this demon
😂
Gross. That as a joke I used to say about bisexuals when I was young and immature.
@@HollieMoodie Exactly - the minute he used it, my first thought was 'he's bisexual' - despite him claim
I have observed that many men, gay or not, engage in sex in a very performative and competitive way. For such individuals it is like an sport rather than a form of connection. Others seek the novelty of new experiences like one would do when choosing a new ice-cream flavour. For me it's all about building a bond with other human being but not many people see it this way. That's why I prefer celibacy now.
Best wishes to all of you!
When I first met my ex I thought he WAS gay. Certain behaviors and mannerisms I saw in him I had also witnessed in my openly gay cousins. Maybe a bit of stereotyping on my part, admitedly. Later , he admited to being bi-sexual and when I found him cheating on me, it was mostly through male to male hook up apps. I told him from the beginning that I would be willing to have either an open relationship or, if he chose, a more polygamous style of relationship. These were NOT things I wanted because I am, by nature, monogomous. Yet, because I loved him, I wanted him to feel fulfilled and happy in the relationship. At the time I didn't understand I would have been sacrificing my own happiness for his. He chose to continue hiding his sexual activities. Then, constantly accused ME of cheating. It was exhausting, and I am glad it is no longer part of my life. My healing is my priority now.
@jbrown2908 I appreciate your comment. This is something I have finally learned, butnit has been a lifelong road. 💜
There's actually an official term for that - "projection", aka accusing others of what they themselves are guilty of. Most narcissistic accusations are actually confessions, in my (unprofessional) opinion.
@jbrown2908 exactly! My own biggest realization came when I saw it was my own low self-worth, lack of clear personal boundaries, combined with a destructive level of people pleasing that allowed me to compromise myself over and over to a narcissist who kept me on a ferris wheel of crazy until I decided to get away. There were a few times he almost ended me with the violence. I had never even heard the term love bombing until I got out. I didn't know that my state of mind had become cognitive dissonance. Or that wanting to help someone be happy would lead me to give up all MY chances to feel happy! I made a vow to myself to stay single for as long as it takes to make sure I NEVER allow that possibility to happen again. I will not compromise myself mentally OR morally ever again just to make sure someone else can stay comfortable. This relationship definitely taught me that it is absolutely NOT worth it!
@Hollyucinogen you absolutely nailed it. Also, that behavior is likely not going to change. The lies will continue right with the infidelity. In a very bittersweet victory, I went to the lengths to let him know I was aware of it all by catfishing him on Grindr with a fake profile and ny spoofing my location. He started messaging my fake profile on Grindr WHILE he was having a text conversation with me like normal. I wish I could have seen his face when he opened my Grindr message after asking me for pictures, and it was me giving him the single finger salute and not the man parts he was hoping for. Then I shut my phone off.
99% of men are Gay 😢 I too learnt the hard way 👀 excuse the pun
You are spot on! I remember the first time that the man refused to be intimate with me. I felt ugly or just not what he wanted. The narcissist will withhold sex in order to make you crazy mad and sad!
They are so false and disrespectful it beggars belief... They will slowly turn utterly cold and unfeeling when they find new supply. When I was 43 and met my ex he was telling me you are my soul mate, together for ever. The last time I saw my ex (by this point I was 53) he was chasing women of 23 to his 55,into polyamoury and Fet (none of which I had anything to do with) , honestly nothing good comes of knowing them...
The narcissists have no sexual boundaries. If you get contaminated, they blame you for it.
Thank you Danish for covering this topic. It's so sensitive, taboo, and so extremely hard for anyone to be honest about this without being politically correct. Thanks for your honesty. No other narc therapist dare to cover this topic besides you.
I have strong suspicious about my ex. Who knows. He went out with weird people, I found chats with a friend, he was badmouthing me horribly…that was a long time a go. I saw so many red flags. He end up being a covert sycopath that stole and lied all along
The way they switch up does a number on your heart and brain. They love me they love me not, they love me they love me not they love me they love me not...wait wha...👀🤯😳 they never really loved me ?! 😭💔
Since Narcissus fell in love with himself, makes sense that many would be gay
Well this explains a lot! Because I truly thought he was a closet case….
So strange even my family asked me if he was gay. I couldn’t answer that.
During the episode, I began to wonder if you sometimes receive threats for your work. But later I realized that no narcissist identifies with this content 😅
Lol..right
😂
I can’t speak for every narcissist but mine was!
He would always be so mean to me right after we had been intimate. I even brought it up to him MANY times. He literally treated me like he wanted to off my light switch right after we would have sex. I'm so glad that we are divorced, and he is out of my life!
I experienced this with my ex. It was so strange that it took me a long time to even believe that it was happening. That’s what a lot of people don’t understand about dealing with narcissists. It’s very hard to even believe your own perception of what’s happening for quite a while and then one you do believe it it’s absolutely devastating and miserable beyond belief, takes everything in you to even go on with your life in the most menial ways. It’s beyond anything someone can possibly understand who hasn’t been through it. Our whole relationship if it can even be called that started off as what was really sexual assault now that I look back in retrospect but everything about that experience with this extrémeme weirdo/predator/ monster/ was so strange and unlike anything I had ever encountered before my mind just couldn’t even process that for a long time. It’s insane that these people just walk around doing this/being this way and nobody can do anything about it and to top it all off we get blamed regardless because no one who hasn’t experienced it gets it and the assumption is that we did something to bring it on ourselves and to assert otherwise is to refuse accountability. The demons are really eating society alive and it’s just handing the opportunity to them by its refusal to take this seriously/desire to blame and shame victims.
@@garden_3130 T.R.U.T.H. There's no telling how many people didn't make it out alive. I'm surprised that I survived it all. God was with me the whole time. That's the only reason I'm still standing.
Now that I'm out of the brain fog, and the trauma bond, I can see very clearly that the demon creature had every intention of off'ing my light switch permanently. They are PURE evil.
After sex a person feels vulnerable...and we all know narcissists don't like to feel vulnerable..to an extreme extent.
@@a.b.creator So True!
@@a.b.creatorThe one I had experience with would wash himself right after we had sexual intercourse.Immediatly!
100% I believe it's through their trauma before the age of 7. They were spiritually castrated, therefore, they became a spiritual eunuch. They are bound into servitude to their castrators and this translates into self-abuse and abuse to others for the rest of their lives. Spiritual castration is abuse common in every family everywhere.
Wow, this was good! I have been wondering for a long time......honestly, these people are just plain sick! And they hurt/destroy the lives of ordinary, wonderful, normal people!😢
👍👏👍
The narcissist that I was married to avoided intimacy. Also, it felt like he had trauma from some sexual assault that I attributed to his family of origin. Never got the answer, it didnt matter anymore. The relationship did not work for me when I became aware of narcissism.
Me too. I grieved and mourned for my ex, the innocent child, when I found out from his mother he was raped at 4 years old. I honestly think I acknowledged and mourned his trauma more than he was ever able to. Sadly, that child died a long time ago and all that's left is a psychopathic shell of a man that I don't even so much as pity any more.
@@reesecup3ify That was so deeply compassionate - your nurturing and seeing the tramatized, innocent young child. But, as you have come to understand, that is no reason for us to suffer at their hands as full adults. I was just remembering how the narcissist would lock the bathroom door whenever he was in there, and how he never took off his socks or underwear in bed. Clearly signs of trauma in light of my supportive, kind ways. Be well, my friend. Enjoy your freedom.
@@malibu90265 ❤️ My ex was the same. He didn't want me to see him naked. He would jump into bed as quick as possible and cover himself, like a child, ashamed to be naked
@@reesecup3ify My ex would shame his own naked body. I found myself telling him positive encouraging things to support him.
@@malibu90265 😢
I wouldn't necessarily say that all narcissistic men are gay, but that they're opportunists. However and wherever they can get attention, then they'll take it. I also think that a lot of male narcissists see women as inferior because they're generally physically weaker, and they’re repulsed by that weakness. But they're also drawn to it, and so that leads to abuse.
(This is just my own pet theory. Please don't go too hard on me. 😩)
😊 I understood right away the nuances of the subject, it's about power,control and ego!😂 The title is so perfectly provocative I am still laughing!
Danish, you're not being crude, its 100% true.I was shocked at first when I first found this out about my narc and I struggled for a long time to understand what was happening. I'm feeling totally validated after watching this video.Thank you for handling such a sensitive topic so well. ❤️
From what I’ve heard, learned and experienced in my own life, I believe that supply for them is fluid. It doesn’t matter. If it’s the cat, the dog, the mailman or the bus driver, the stripper it just doesn’t matter.
😁😅😁😅
You hit on more truth here than you could possibly realize.
The narcissist male I knew would come on to me with subtle homoerotic emanations and suggestions.
It soon occurred to me that these were projected with the intention to unsettle.
Perhaps he was getting a sexual kick out of it too as a part of his relentless campaign to gain dominance.
Other of my male friends he was cultivating would ask me 'Is he a closet gay?'
I'd reply: 'I don't know what the hell he is!'
Several of my women friends would remark 'He's just weird.'
Your presentation is spot on!
There are narcissistic women who want to "correct" gay men to lift up their egos. I'm a straight women but I had gay male friends who mentioned it, girlfriends who tried to have zex. I thought it was about ego and having a Queen complex but I didn't know about NPD. Yeap, it's real.
Exactly the same with my ex best friend!!
@@Lyrielonwind And pushy narc men who want to think they are God's gift to a female who isn't dating, or they think is gay. The ego on these people, I hope I am never near them again.
I saw this narcissist "flirt" with a teen boy at the McDonald's drive thru & the clerk at the DMV. I chalked it up as a hostage/captive audience. It was so weird to see/hear him lay on the charm, this set script/masking.
I came to the same conclusion a few years ago! The strange competitive nature toward females reminds me more of sibling rivalry, NOT romantic intimacy!!! After you get acclimated to these peeps, you can sense the resentment toward women. They dont cherish them as counterparts, they want to degrade and discredit them. It's really a sick cycle. It took me awhile to correlate it with them being gay, but in three cases....this turned out to be exactly the situation. Ive seen the same behavior in a female narcissist toward guys??! 😡😡😒🤬
They have chosen to not bond! To them = freedom.
One ex got lonely, wanted companionship, but not enough to treat me like a human being. He's free from me now and free to be alone.
They are living in literal self inflicted bondage.
This description is Absolutely in line with other experts testimony who have also been diagnosed with NPD themselves
Not gay necessarily but definitely misogynistic. Perpetually fighting “Mom”.
Same difference.
Way back years ago I was in a long term relationship with a male who I found out was going to gay bars after dropping me off from dates. I was shocked and repulsed, especially considering there seemed to be no S issues that would compel him to seek S elsewhere but he did. He said “a hole is a hole what’s the difference “ and added that the gay guys love how slim he is. 😮 He was more addicted to the attention and sleaze aspect.
What you’re saying in this video is true.
My ex boyfriend’s ex wife (and I were friendly, and she) told me she thought he was gay, and saw gay porn sites on his computer. I found him to be homophobic generally, although he was very pleasant when meeting a gay friend of mine, and later commented with surprise on how he was typically masculine in his manner, dress sense, voice etc., while he ridiculed my friends husband for being more camp/feminine.
He once told me very vaguely how sexual acts happened “to” him at (boys) boarding school, but then later empathically denied it later. It always puzzled me, but this video and the comments have explained my confusion, and his comments, behaviours etc.
He was very masculine but feminine at the same time….i asked him several times if he was homosexual….his sex was powerful but to me a woman very and deeply unsatisfying and I felt empty afterwards but strangely addicted?? 🤷♀️ I’m free now and happy alone
TH-cam is reading my mind lol. I was literally thinking about this issue this morning. I would often wonder about my ex, his "best friend," and their mutual friends🤔
You’re going to make a lot of enemies with that title 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I was just discarded after three months, find my narcissistic ex and come to find out his last relationship. He was a swinger and he would bring Van home to have sex with his girlfriend he would watch and then he would have sex with a man to feel dominate. Now I know that he’s not actually gay. It’s all about power control and ego and whatever makes him feel good because he literally has no identity. When we were together sexually, he just wanted to do whatever I liked he would Shapeshift into what I needed until he got bored and realised my boundaries were too tight, and I wasn’t gonna let him do the weird things with me he did with his ex, then I got discarded.
Well yes that’s how I feel now after 6 weeks! Went through a lot of sadness and anger tho to get to this point. However I work at a bar ( how we met) and been hearing he is coming around again but on other shifts. Do you think this is the beginning of a hoover attempt? I shamed him pretty bad and told everyone what he did and who he is. Also he is a meth addict so people know that now. Wondering if he will stay away because of alll that or still try to hoover. Either way what a wild ride! I learned alot ans I’m glad he’s gone. Thanks for your content it made alot of sense ans out some pieces together for me.
That would be the easy thing to do but it’s a great job and I. Very connected to my boss and customers there. I’m very supported. I do however agree that he is garbage! Haha. Who knows maybe he will overdose on meth one night or get HIV from being a sick pervert. One can only hope. Either way I’m free! Love your content and again thank you bunches!
That sounds gay to me.
That’s pretty gay
I am feeling haggard and worn down. Love that this channel digs into every small detail about narc abuse. As a victim, I am aged in 20 years.
I’ve wondered this for years I’ve always swore he was secretly gay
Probably why my malignant narc brother was constantly cheating on his wife with other married women and then bragging to me about it. I found it all so incredibly sick. It was an ego boost to do that plus an ego boost to brag to me about it too.
After seeing your video yesterday, i wrote a message to my ex narc hubby ,saying that someone told me he is also seeing men. His answer was :" what are you talking about?" I answered " exactly what you read" he replied" who told you this?" ..he did not even deny it,he just wanted to know who told me.
I got this feeling first time when he withheld intimacy during our marriage.. i found contacts of men on his phone which i never got to know, and especially one of them looked really gay. But i also found out about his secret girlfriend.. So ,this video is a confirmation
My ex seemed soo much more happy hanging out with any guy friend in general to the point that he would be more than willing to ditch plans with me if that'd mean he'd get to hang with his "homies". After the breakup he moved in with a guy friend immediately where he still lives. This guy friend was also very sus. Always calling when i would be hanging out with my ex and "dropping in" unexpectedly. The whole thing was a big and dragged out shit show. Dodged a bullet 🥳
Hey Danish, ur like a big bro explaining life to me ❤ thank you for explaining my entire (thankfully former) marriage to a narc
This is absolutely nuts I was thinking about this today
They are nuts but to me it makes perfect sense.
I think it was Oscar Wilde who said : "everything has to do with zex, except zex" and we know how he ended up, in jail due to a narcissist and his father ( De profundis).
You hit the
mark with this!
I’ve noticed this for years
Any port in a storm sick individuals they live in ego and destroy everything in their path.
With my experience with my ex husband was sexually abused at a young age. He told me so, and it gave me reasons to question why, was he into nude sex videos, back in the days I first met him, that he influenced me to watch with him. A then wondered why would he want to watch multiple females on one man or vice versa. I started to feel awkward and it didn't feel right., he liked fantasy playing like a child playing with a toy it became annoying that I was forced to like his fetish when clearly it wasn't appropriate I then started hating it because it was his thing not my thing. That alot of arguments occuring during our sex and then the fire started to burn out. We stopped having sex games. He loved my skin and always said I wished I had smooth skin like mine which was weird. He loved shaving down stairs and tried to get me to do the same I stopped after awhile and it wasn't comfortable him telling me what he likes but not caring what I liked. He then started going to the 24/7 gyms that opened very late at midnight times. I then started thinking he's gay hes out to get some kind of attraction at the gyms. We fought alot and sex was no longer on my mind. I hated the way he was but I still endure it until recently God showed me that I was living with the devil in sheeps clothing, when he tried to be a Christian going to church, but would treat me with disdain and disrespect because I wouldn't say yes to anything anymore. I knew something was off and I searched through videos like this and wow what a fool I've been. But praise God for guiding me out of a 19yr relationship of hell 🙏
I agree absolutely. only the most twisted things gave him any spark. I think that he went for anything , I have said also. " any hole will do".
BECAUSE HE FELT NOTHING emotionally. only hate, anger. gave him his last "high". otherwise he was a bored man, dead inside.
It took me a long time to understand many things about the narcissist I was with. My mind rejected the notion he could be so cold and calculating. I kept overcoming my triggers for red flags by saying to myself I was overly nervous.
Gradually I found out this man lies to manipulate and triangulate. He has no accountability. Any previous partner who has gotten away from him to save herself he badmouths. The only one he keeps old photos on his social media of is a woman who still is in contact with him and catches up with him when she’s in the country. She also has relationships with married men.
I questioned his sexuality because a trans f to m person told him that one day they could hook up and my ex bf never corrected this person by telling him that he’s not into men. Although he vehemently supported that he’s straight he would say weird things like the waiter was flirting with him! Which he wasn’t.
While I was with him it hit me that what sexually turns him on is his ability to stir desire in people. So when he’s having intercourse the idea that he’s causing arousal in people turns him on. One time he commented about his kisses turning me on. I found this statement cringy even though I liked him. It finally occurred to me that it was his sexual power over people that aroused him so all you say makes absolute sense. I still find it odd how a person who isn’t into the same gender that way can take it there but maybe because the same motivations don’t drive me I just can’t imagine beng able to perform with a female. My ex would even say he was embarrassed to be seen with his ex in public because she looked bad! How can anyone say that about a person they were with? It is because narcs don’t care about anyone.
realized my exnarc was in the closet and was secretly sleeping with men for “favors” .. TG im done with that sinking ship😌
Damn! That's crazy! How could a man even think about doing that, when he had a beautiful woman at home! Give a real brother a shot? Sincerely; Not-a-Narc...
they crave for their false self to be validated
My ex narcissist husband is by sexual. He did had other relationships with guys in the past. He married several times to cover up his agenda. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ son of God for delivering me and my family 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Their options don’t always have to be human. Yuck!
😳🙄😳
The bible calls it "strange flesh." I'm not sure how much more it's going to take for the general public to understand that this is a spiritual battle.
After my separation from the covert narc he shared with me that he “went on dates for money, but didn’t not have sex “ lol appearance wise he’s not attractive so I don’t believe women would pay him to spend time with him. I believe he probably engaged in sexual activities with men.
Mine drives men around on a motorcycle 🏍 for money how did I not know??? 😂😂😂😂😂
They get turned on by turning you off
Every narc I know was or showed signs they were, and several ended up confessing.
Idgaf what these narcs sexual preferences are as long as they stay the fluff away from me!!
💜🎯
Watch what they do, vs. what they say .
In my experience, he was. I heard it said before & makes complete sense, that if a man is able to hit a woman it is bc his true soul mate is a man.
Yes, it does make sense. Describes one I knew of growing up, hit his wife suddenly one day, over NOTHING, made up a weak excuse. He was always bonding with men and acted predatory with girls of any age. Loved to terrify and humiliate little boys.
Lived a wonderful life after his wife cheated on him--he had traded her out to other men in the early part of the marriage, not her idea, and her father thought females should have to do. I think her dad was a self-interested narc too.
They neither of them cared about women except as rugs. Not very smart, as their lives could have been much better if they'd recognized others as human.
Thank you for this information. Now I understand why my ex wanted sex when I was ill, after he verbally beat me up, and even immediately after he said he wanted a divorce. And why I would come home from work to find my cat cowering and shivering in a corner. So sick and twisted.
Your poor cat, that's horrifying.
So odd. I was married twice to narcs and wondered if both of them were gay after all was said and done. Not at the time mind you, but much after.
And one I worked for, he was a screaming overt narc...one day I observed him talking to a MUCH younger, very nice man and his body language read GAY. I was kind of surprised as I'd known his wife for years. The mouth might lie, but the body doesn't...
Greed or the desire for stability, security can be the motivation for sexual fluidity.
Im so glad you mentioned this! Everytime i brought up about my gay guy friends, he would hyper masculine himself and get so angry when i would mention that they thought he was cute. I always thought that was weird but my gay friends told me that he project signs that hes closet gay. Hes out of my life now so its whatever now. Thx for letting me feel like i wasnt too far off. 😅
Gay? I wouldnt say that,exactly.More like opportunist.Animal,Vegetable,Mineral.What ever gets them thru the night.
Mineral ??! 😂
@@nmc1859 hi, yes , and also alive or whatever other state , no matter the age, and that is not even taking into account all the different type of gross / perv things ... . I don't remember, when it was precisely (i think it was in late 2020 ,or early 2021), nor the details either, but one them got caught in the USA, while trying to R the earth in a public park, during the day, at that time i was exiting my last narc relationship, and reading the article made laugh , and also gave me clarity, talking about it with her, well lets just say, was revealing... , so yeah there is that , anyway , have a nice day
@@nmc1859 Well, most plastic is actually a derivative of crude oil, so blowup dolls and various plastic toys are mineral. 😂
Vegetable? 😀🤔😅
They will also sleep with anybody that will pay their way.
Oh heck yes
People who have been dealing with narcissists. Need to exposed them. Don't hide and feel bad about yourself. They did not feel bad about spreading lies about you to the community, family, friends and co-workers. Make a page, t-shirts, hell put them on a billboard, take them to court for defamation of character. So they will have no more supply to feed off of and destroy. They will have no choice but to sit and take accountability and heal. Ya'll bmore and stay safe family.🙏🏽❤️✌🏾🕉
Celibacy is very rewarding, I find it a welcome thing to embody it after dealings with all of these numerous Covert Narcissist sufferers in life. It seems to me that time is more rewarding not sitting there trying to help only myself in life.
Yes! Thank you for speaking about this Danish 🤗 I thought I was the only one that noticed this behaviour in the narcissists. Feels good to not be alone 🌸
It's all about supply. Whover gives them attention just like you said. Some want attention more than sex. Porn will do 😢
This also helps explain many showbiz types from past to present.
What if they are heavy in porn...? Gambling.
It is still all about the power and high of autoeroticism Danish explained in a previous video. I was married for 18 years. He would say embarassing homophobic things. After a while I thought he was gay bcs he was obsessed with a married male friend. It started with pills, went to drugs, porn, gambling, pool boy, etc. I used to lie in bed thinking I was crazy bcs no one could have all those vices! When I insistened on marriage counselling she asked if he was gay. He went so beserk she refused to see him again. He remarried. After not hearing from him for 20+ years he called screaming"I never loved you! I am not gay! i never took drugs! I am not the father of our children!" I hung up, he called back with same screaming. Does that sound gay or like malignant unravelling narc to you?His parting shot was " On scale of 1 to 10 you were never better than a 2!" The more your success without them, the more supply they need, the greater their crazy making. The older they get ( less attractive, less power, less$$, etc) the more "novelty supply" they require! God bless you
I think a lot are into porn. Some prefer it, they don't want intimacy with another. And apparently the super quick bird-peck kiss is common with narcissists. There's a common saying in biology, "neurons that fire together wire together". With enough porn consumption that's all that can arouse them, that part of the brain got rewired.
@@cherylberk4593Do you like Aerosmith?
@@cherylberk4593hope you’re out and clad you got out safely. X
Those are addictions, "pron" and gambling. In Alanon I was told that the most marked characteristic of an addict is self-centeredness. Sound familiar?
They seem to be sex addicts a lot too, no boundaries and lots of desire to get pleasured, or to dominate through seduction.
They might as well be. They're the lamest. As the old adage goes, "Big talk, little action." They usually can't perform for much. They like to pretend other women are interested in them to make you jealous.
Yes, they love to triangulate and try hard to make you jealous. One ex was always going on about his last girlfriend (celibate relationship, he had no interest in her as a woman, or me) and what she bought him. I finally told him straight out I'm NOT blowing my inheritance on him like she did. They definitely try to make you jealous and play you against other women. Meanwhile he wasn't even interested in women. Except to mooch off of and put them in mommy role. And ENJOY emotionally hurting them. It's messed up.
I have been so confused by this very subject for years. I thought he was gay or that he got off on prostitution. It’s all about supply. Thank you!🙏
Never met a male one who wasn't a misogynist though.
The ones who are the oldest son and oldest siblings, is that an alpha male? But whatever, yes, it seems it's the whole idea of feeling better than anyone who isn't like them.
I've noticed that too, like built-in superiority to females, they notice anything that might support that thinking.
Not sure about women narcs, but having lived with that kind of arrogant male, it's difficult to see whether women are narcs or like that. I think I knew one or two and they seem to think they are not like other women.
LOL! Too funny! My fibbing ex claimed he was bi-sexual but never told me till years later. I think he was gay cause he didn’t seem to like me. 😂 He’s getting HIS dose from my lawyers real, real soon.
My ex didn't like me either and was very abusive.
Interesting. I watched a true crime documentary today. The murderess was obviously a narcissist-psychopath. She had sexual relationships with men and women, killing her husband and then a girlfriend. The purpose of all her sexual relationships was power and control and using them for money, a place to live attention etc. She even had a relationship with a 16 year old boy, and got him to kill her girlfriend. It was incredible the whole she had over all these people.
Narcs are attracted to the occult and dark arts. That may be part of how they get such so much psych control over people.
Whooooooaaaaaa.....this is something I suspected towards the end of our marriage. 😳
Thanks Danish. My ex was like this. These people are really sick in their minds
for all intents and purposes. especially when they are chasing their male coworkers and colleagues around the office trying to trauma-bond with them on a daily basis
My story: my ex was addicted to sex (he had been that before our marriage). After a few months of our wedding he was sitting infront his laptop behind closed door. He was absent looking ..his eyes where totally empty. He drank a lot vine already before noon.
Then one day I found texts and naked pics of him on his phone..he was clearly showing himself as a partner in sex dates with unknown people with both men and women...like kick into my stomach ..wanted to vomit.
I think he as a narc wanted to have plesure in surprising style as the sex in the marriage was boring after I didn't want to be a sex doll to him anymore. He was never interested of my pleasure or wishes. He watched porn frequently..vanished from our bed in the middle of night to visit sex channels in the net.
I think narcs need more sex than a normal person. No narc will like or want to marry you if you are not seen in his/her eyes as a significant source of sex and money. He/she will be with you only to use you...until you recoqnize the toxic pattern and shout: what about me!?
It's not the sex they need. They need validation, chaos and a distraction from their own self hatred. Sex just gets that faster.
Agree totally with your assessment.I found out my narc was having sex with both sexes.
I can not go in to to much detail but he wanted me to do things I did not want to do and some of his friends were Gay he lost his temper if I called when one was there he once said to me he is GORGOUS unusual thing to say about a man looking him up and down I think he was both ways bisexual 💯
OMG, *absolutely!*
Unfortunately, I've dated several narcs (some overt, mostly covert). I'm female and my guys definitely craved attention from other females, but I wondered if two of them had homosexual desires. I caught one looking at trans porn (men dressed like women, but still had their male parts). I questioned him and he seemed just as confused as I was. I suggested counseling and he went, but he'd rage at me after he returned from those sessions! As if facing his confusion was my fault.
YES they lust after anything that "loves" them.
The one I knew was not gay at all.Was very carefull to act manly and never be mistaken.Said openly he was not gay ( like he took gay people as not deserving respect ) Having said that ,he would do it to a bottom gay person if he expected to get something in return.
I'm getting into the process of recovering... Your videos help me a lot.... More power😊