ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ต.ค. 2024
- Here's my thirteenth diary entry. I apologize fo the cut from one video to the next. My phone was being dumb and I had to continue recording on a separate video. I had to rush it because honestly I am a mess and just couldn't record anymore. The goal of this project is to reach someone, anyone and let them know they're not alone in this.
Links to Mental Health Organizations and Hotlines:
Mental Health America: www.mhanationa...
The Trevor Project: www.thetrevorp....
The Trevor Project Hotline 24/7: 1-866-488-7386
Anxiety and Depression Association of America: adaa.org
National Suicide Prevention Hotline 24/7: 800-273-8255
Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: www.dbsallianc...
I'm sad to see you so hurt, but I think you're right that its more valuable to care about people and be vulnerable, even if it means sometimes people's actions and choices will really hurt you. Being emotionally raw like this says you care deeply about people I think, in a way you're standing up to the value that people should be kind to each other, even if sometimes people aren't, you're unwilling to accept a world where it's ok for people to treat people as you've just been treated. I think over time, as you stick to that integrity, it will get easier to accept disappointments without internalizing it to the core emotionally. I think its more brave to choose to explore your deepest held emotions because its what you value that you take away from it.
Thank you so much honestly it means a lot to me that you admire me for sharing these entries. It’s really hard to not want to stop the camera from rolling when I’m completely vulnerable but then I would be not doing what I promised. It’s hard but I’m slowly learning how to not let myself be disappointed by other people’s actions or commitment even if someone does something, the less I expect the less of a disappointment. I will say you’re right, I’m not going to stop caring and loving the way I do. It’s all a matter of how to know when to not put to much energy into things that don’t need it to be put it. I am making sure I practice my self love and self care everyday in every aspect of my life. I’m learning that not everyone is going to love how I love and thats okay. One day I will have someone love me back and treat me the way I treat them.
@@TowfurrGleek92 I just want you to be ok but I know the process of being entirely emotional on here can get messy. I've had a lot of videos where I cry throughout and I've worried so much about how it would come across when I'm crying in a space that's public. I think the process changes you when you allow yourself to be that emotionally open, over time you realize just how much we worry about how our emotions come across and how much time and energy we put into trying to have composure and manage shame and be seen the way we think we should be. I think eventually, being that open on youtube causes you to release that confinement, and at some point there will be nothing you'll hesitate to say and no emotion to hide. It will be emotionally liberating when you get there, but it takes time for it to sink in.