How to Detect a Narcissist (2018 rerun)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.ย. 2024
- [2018 rerun] Dr. Kirk Honda and Humberto talk about how to detect a narcissist.
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1. Everything they do is awesome
2. They might really love you, especially if you are good at supplying their narcissism
3. They might make you feel uneasy or nervous around them
4. They might seem emotionally strong, like they don't need anyone (e.g. stoic or independent)
5. They might make you feel worried about being rejected from their inner circle
6. They don't really seem to care about your story, they don't ask you questions about your life
7. They might make you feel special just to be around them.
8. When you give them constructive feedback they don't react well.
9. You often feel stupid, unfashionable, or generally inadequate around them
10. When something goes wrong they reflexively blame someone else
11. They never apologize or very rarely
12. When they watch people with fame they compare themselves to them
13. They might make you feel invaded with overly personal questions
Other: Brag, like being on stage, have a gambling or spending problem, big dreams, perfectionism, medical anxiety
I relate so hard to the nervousness as soon as I meet someone high on the spectrum. I grew up with a father diagnosed with NPD, and it's like I have a radar now. I dread being close to them because of the amount of trauma around it. It's also scary to mention it to anyone, out of fear for being rejected by others, where I suddenly sound crazy (as this also happened).
All I'm thinking is that I hope I don't make people feel that way
My father is one and he is a pretty horrible human being who only isn't physically scary because Hes very sick but I have worried I was like him because other family would say I act like him sometimes,I cant tell u how many times Ive asked my therapist if I was one and luckily I am not, I just had periods in my life where I was selfish!! So I can totally relate to worry about it!
I had a lot of fear that I was on the spectrum, this made me realise that I’m probably not (though I can’t know for sure since I’m not educated). But thank you doc🥺
Usually full blown narcissists won't even allow themselves to be seen as one. So *usually* if you worry you are you aren't. Also a lot of people have some tendencies that are narcissistic but not full blown.
I listen to these mostly to find out what Umberto's job is today
This comment made me lol
Lol
i wonder how many episodes it was when I realized that maybe he wasn't doing all of these things
@@therabbithat lol
Here was I wondering what is feline defense equipment 😂
It's complex. Oddly the effects on a partner who lived with someone who displays strong traits on the spectrum are destroyed the same way by their behavior. We leave with little self esteem, PTSD is common, distorted reality, bad physical health and more. I've noticed that as we are away longer, the healing we seems to follow a time line once no contact is established. Majority say toughest experience of their lives as well a long tough healing process. Also, many health issues seem to go away when people leave. Our stories of our experiences are so similar . We are not heard or validated .
True and usually people with poor self-esteem are that way before they meet there partner. People with great self-esteem and background usually don't end up in a narcissistic relationship. Yeah after the relationship they leave the other worse than before meeting them. Hurt people hurt people.
This was frighteningly accurate 😳 This was the first time I've seen invasive questioning attributed to narcissism, but, holy shit, the narcissistically-aligned person in my life does it constantly. The subjects of their interrogation are often so palpably uncomfortable that it distresses me just to witness it, but, when I approach the person about it, they insist that they are just being "real," and that anyone who doesn't want to answer their questions is "fake" and in need of enlightenment... from them, of course 🙄 I guess that behavior falls right in the middle of rejecting accountability, delusions of grandeur, and a whole-ass lack emotional differentiation.
This has been so enlightening. Former employee of mine. Never takes criticism well. Never own their part.
I would get uncomfortable in their presence.
I never wanted phone calls from them.
I felt inadequate as their boss.
The thing with the "uneasy feeling" when you're around a person with npd, I know what you mean. For me it's a sense of frustration and ickyness because I most often don't want to be around them. They don't make me feel good when I'm around them, so when I am in a situation where I am forced to be around them and be nice, it's so hard. 70-80% of the times I visit my parents (mother), I cry at least once. So I always have anxiety bubbling in my chest before I go there, when I am there, and for a day after I have left.
I have bpd, and I have never met somebody else with bpd that I know of. That comment where you feel scared around people with cluster-b personalities kind of hurt me a bit, but they are your feelings. I would love to meet someone who is like me, so I don't feel so alone. But I get what you mean. I know several people who I feel uneasy around, but I wonder why I it is easier to sense narcissistic tendencies, than borderline?
I can massively understand what you’re saying. I was diagnosed with BPD years ago and feel similar about seeing my parents. I am always on edge around anyone I suspect has NPD or traits but recently started to understand why these people may act like they do/say the things they say, thanks to these videos! Its hard to find empathy for people who make you feel uncomfortable but in doing that a bit its eased my anxiety around this. I’m sending you lots of hope and luck that you find some peace, but totally get that its easier said than done 🙂
Thanks for rerunning this. I have been on a quest to understand certain patterns in my life, in hopes of correcting them, and one pattern is that as an empath, I attract narcissists and I'm attracted to narcissists because I haven't been able to recognize them as such before they cause damage. So I appreciate this talk because while I've picked up many clues from other people, there were several on this list that were new to me and I see how the last person used these manipulations with me, to pull me in and then tear me down. Thank you! In addition to being able to spot narcissists (and I agree that util I learned these things, I never realized how many there were out there, but of course to different degrees) and keep them at arm's length, I'm trying to learn how to attract and be attracted to people who are better for me. I am now pretty good at spotting other empaths, I will say! So if you're reading this and have other talks in your archive on attracting and being attracted to better types of people, I'd love to hear them. Again, thanks!
I'm really curious to know how this works within different cultural backgrounds. Is this universal or can I expect something different from someone from a different country?
From my experience I believe this is universal.
would it be possible to have a recommended link to a FREE screening/test that you use to determine where one is on the narcissism spectrum?
Can you do a segment on histrionic behavior? My mother (due to severe childhood trauma) had terrible hysterical fits directed at me as a child. I would love to hear you break down the pattern of behavior!
14:52 quick to reject... so true...
Lol when you listen for the info but realise they are talking about you xD To remain true to the label I should say, this podcast is accurate if only because it helped me successfully detect a narcissist: Myself 😁
I see those aspects in so many people That I start to worry.😮
This brings another question: How to deal with people high on the spectrum in a healthy way? Them being high on the spectrum sometimes cause resentment and anger, negative and/or opposite behavior in general (well, at least in my case). Also, these people usually don't think they need therapy (bc they're perfect, riiiiight?!) smh Cutting ties and playing grey rock are the only ways bc I just want to smack them everytime they try their usual poking methods!
Yeah that's the best I know. Give little personal info keep the topics shallow. If they ask how work is don't admit the parts that you hate. Limit time also. It sucks but the more you spend time with them the worse they seem to be. (Personally anyway)
I hate superlatives, drive me nuts... it is the worst, most annoying thing i know.
A lot of people just like to talk about themselves. Would that make them on the spectrum?
I often fantasize about being onstage myself when I see a performer, which is the only reason I like animation and comic-strip cartooning, because I fantasize about being among those who make the cartoons. I even fantasize about being among those who made cartoons in the theatrical era. When I see a sitcom, I imagine myself among the cast.
I've never heard anyone speak about disabled folks and narcissism. since (I'm guessing) people assume that the disabled have a more realistic sense of their limitations. But when a disabled child is fed a steady diet of so-called inspirational stories in print and on film, and has parents who continually say that the child's intelligence/talents are a compensatory superpower, that seems to me to be a perfect recipe for narcissism in disabled people. Therefore, I couldn't just be a cartoonist, but one who "conquered" cerebral palsy to produce the first syndicated strip with a disabled lead.
Doc I think they are fairly easy to spot. I will leave it to you regarding spectrum, gradient and variation.
Pretty informative, thanks
The last part was so funny 😆 “i deserve it “
Great video Doctor 😁😁😁
How would you spot a more vulnerable narc, though? These seem to apply to a more overt type.
Could a narcissist ever be "rehabilitated"?
Its very insightful and interesting and complex.🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
Amazing, thank you Dr Honda!
😆😆😆
Felines come with their own defense equipment.
5% right .. lol
Did you ever think of analyzing Amberlynn Reid?
TIL I'm a Narcissist. Except I do not try to be around other people at all because they will only hurt me as I am undeserving of love.
I'm sure this will be an unpopular thing to say, but though I really like learning from these two, I hate being caught off guard by the Lord's name taken in vain. On Dr. Kirk's reaction videos, he said he tries not to cuss, so I enjoy those much more. However, I am studying to be a counselor and would like to keep learning, so I'm not naive about the way people are.
If you think you are qualified to diagnose people as such then you are likely a narcissist. leave the diagnosing to the professionals and mind your own business. You need to be focusing on your own issues, not the personality disorders of others.
your co-host is terrible. Just do your own shows. You are great when you analyze shows.