Don't Trust The Internet | Why Is Fox News So Angry About Puppies?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 พ.ย. 2022
- Stories falsely claiming that America's voting machines are connected to the internet are a top narrative on Twitter as the midterms approach, and the folks at Fox News appear outraged over a study that argued college students can relieve stress by petting a cat or dog. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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They call everyone else snowflakes but they're the ones having a literal meltdown about puppers and kittens
Once again, proof that these people are not okay.
Right?!! 🤣
MAGA people have a meltdown over everything.
They were IRATE about people enjoying pets-which is their literal function. Dude, humans looked at wolves-giant creatures - and said, “imma pet it and make it ᵐⁱⁿᵉ .” People love petting furry animals.
Fox News: Hypocrisy Is Our Brand. Also, We're Still Not News.
They literally saw "college students benefit from stress relief" and went straight to "let's abuse them instead"
Remember the time Fox called Mr. Rogers evil for telling children they're special just the way they are?
More than once. Tucker and Sean went after him.
No fucking way, you cant be serious 😂
Calling us snowflakes while refusing to accept defeat in an election always cracks me up…
Fox "news" being so mad about puppies is the very definition of recreational anger.
Recreational anger. That is gold!
"This is so cute... I am furious!" - Fox News
Also the very definition of malignant stupidity.
Faux outrage as the main moneymaking model. Clowns 100%.
"Recreational anger"! Ha! Brilliant! I'm stealing that!
I work at a university tutoring center where we employ 16 students. Just today, one of our student employees brought three puppies to work to introduce them to the staff. "No one's going to hand you a puppy"? Someone just handed me three! What's wrong with puppies? Fox's outrage just gets sillier and sillier.
They're really grasping at straws here.
I demand that in the name of partisan politics tomorrow you hand out slaps!
Careful some rightwinger going to slap you in the face.
"Nobody's going to hand you a puppy in real life."
Meanwhile here taking care of all the cats and dogs people just gave me because they had too many.
my neighbors dog had some woopsie puppies, he pretty much just handed me my puppy
They have never heard of animal rescue. All they know is puppy mills and big brand pet stores.
My friends were taking care of a pregnant feral cat. A few weeks later they handed me my fur baby.
Why does everyone get free pets, and I don't??? Here I am in Pennsylvania, trying to make friends with feral cats, and you all are getting free fur children....there is no justice in this world!!!
@@smittywerbenjaegermanjensen Volunteer at an animal shelter.
"Dumb little idiots, dumb little lies..." Great stuff, Stephen!
I love that they are saying that people don't need things to help in college because THEY didn't have anything and they are fine. Especially because they are not fine. They are angry, miserable, spiteful people that can't stand the idea of anyone else doing things to make themselves a little bit less miserable.
You forgot to mention incapable of fact-checking, which is a first year Philosophy course.
It certainly seems like Republicans -- from the politicians in Congress to the far-right "entertainers" and pundits to the base itself -- are doing everything in their power to prove the saying "misery loves company".
That's the GOP argument for lowering the educational standard in the country. I didn't get an education.. so you can't have one!
They needed a puppy but never got one. Now they cry cause others get a puppy.
@@merlana3479 One of them even said that no one is given puppies, and I was like "wait.. You mean no one gave _you_ a puppy, right? Cause most kids do not buy their own puppies..... They're pretty expensive.. And generally, being given a puppy is regarded as one of the best gifts a child can get... I'm sensing maybe some childhood trauma... Did no one give you a puppy?? And now others can't have it either because everyone needs to skirt on the edge of tears throughout life to end up as emotionally stable as a Fox News host freaking out about puppies?"
Sometimes they just out themselves so hard it's nuts... Sad fact is: None of these people struggled in childhood. They were born rich every fricken one. Now they pretend they went through the wringer, cause that's what their viewers want to hear. Rags to riches, not riches to TV hostess.
"No one is going to just hand you a puppy!"
Sounds like someone's bitter that their parents were assholes who wouldn't get them a puppy.
One of Stephen's best monologues ever!!!...From talking about the OATH KEEPERS stuffing their faces at the OLIVE GARDEN after the JAN 6th insurrection to Stephen cuddling some beautiful puppies it was simply AWESOME...
I don't own a pet but just seeing Stephen with those two pups took down my stress level instantly!
As soon as I saw the puppies, I had a big huge smile on my face.
And I KNOW that that happened to MOST of the people watching this!!!
Not the soulless people. They watch, but they don’t smile.
They never smile…
Same here, no pets of my own, but I love how other people enjoy their pets. That part of the segment made me smile.❤
Aaahhhhh, dogs are the best! 💕💕🐾
I find it infinitly ironic that the ones so quick to call others snowflakes, are also the ones quickest to get offended. Even by a study that says petting animals makes you happy.
Right??? Also, how are they mad about something that we already knew? Humans love petting furry animals. We saw wolves-giant creatures with fangs - and said, “hehe. 𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉.”
HAPPY?!? that's GROOMING them to be leftists! IT IS FORBIDDEN TO BE HAPPY!
Seriously, that info has been around for a LONG time, how is this news to them??? My college had puppies in the counseling center during finals so stressed students could relax and unwind for a bit. It was freaking fantastic and I aced those finals. I don’t get this weird ideology that if you do things to make your life less miserable you’re somehow weak or shameful. This is what that sounds like:
“You’re doing things to make your life worth living??? How pathetic!!!!”
“And that’s pathetic because…???”
“Because you can’t handle being miserable like ME!!!”
“Oookay, have fun with that”
Just when I thought faux news couldn’t get any weirder, yeesh
@@AskMia411 The reason this old information is new to fox, is because it’s a fact, and they don’t deal in facts.
They want people to stay ignorant, angry and desperate. That's how you manipulate masses.
Lol "no one's gonna hand you a puppy in the real world"? Clearly, she's never heard of an animal shelter🤦♀️
It's such a moot point lol. No one hands you *anything* in the real world. Like c'mon, if you don't like pets, fine. But- it's ok to like pets lmao. Just blows my mind.
Or, clearly, a hug.
I do hope that after this, no shelter will give these sociopaths even a cold blooded snake!
How much more could I love him? Well, when he snuggled those puppies right up against his suit coat and baby/talked to them, my heart grew bigger 💕 (10:45 ICYMI)
I love any time Colbert dances. That's how you know he's feeling it.
I can't imagine they are so dumb as to think the study implied we should hand out kittens to college kids. It's clearly just showing a correlation between petting animals and stress levels..
Of course. They know that, they are simply twisting it into a reason for their viewers to be angry. That is their raison d'etre, they are the rage machine.
"...dumb little idiots, dumb little lie..."
GOLD.
Put this man on Broadway!
I love that my cat subverts so many expectations. He turns cat haters into cat lovers 😍
He loves people, and knows how to just cuddle and sleep in your arms 🥺
I love when comedy and truth collide.
you are on the wrong show then this show is just left wing conspiracy as they have a puppet to stand on stage telling you them all...
If you’re hating on puppies and kittens, to quote the Carol Burnett show, “someone blew out your pilot light.” These people all need a psych eval.
Or even better: "You have splinters in the windmill of your mind".
Absolute genius comment. 👏
They're all two ships ships of a fleet!
That is a great analogy, very apropos. I’ve felt for a long time that these people must have lost something at the core of themselves, making them feel like they would be happy to see everything just burn to the ground. They might even particularly savor seeing happy and well adjusted liberals suffer in the process. Oh, the joy that would bring them:/
A few French fries short of a Happy Meal.
"College students shouldn't have pets" is a very strange hill to die on
It's one of their better ones.
@@RankinMsP maybe Colbert will cry again
@@dudleyburleson8668 it seems your speciality, snowflake
It's beyond irony at this point
Compared to the other ones they've impishly clambered up, this hill is one of the more depressingly tame ones.
Omgsh! Those two puppies’ faces ❤❤❤❤❤❤ Cuteness overload.
We have 2 dogs from people in the Walmart parking lot, another rescued from struggling family members, 1 cat just brought to our door, one given by our vet, and one tiny kitten that walked into our convenience store at 3 am. These poor animals are everywhere.
what a weird world they live in that petting cats and dogs is a sign of being weak
...particularly while I'm taking care of my nieces three dogs and two cats for 12 days...
poo-tin/ trump/ maga cult= " strongman world or in other words= anti- humane, anti- democracy & certainly anti- christian( though so many claim to be but JESUS warned us that even Satan can quote scripture but can they live it???? PLEASE VOTE BLUE to Save LIVES , RIGHTS & DEMOCRACY.
Inflation is annoying but temporary. Democracy , RIGHTS & LIVES are PRICELESS & PRECIOUS
& sometimes HARD to get, & HARD to HOLD. PLEASE DON'T LET IT SLIP THROUGH OUR FINGERS!!! VOTE BLUE by November 8th!!! 💙 🇺🇸 💙💙💙 🇺🇸 💙💙💙🇺🇸
@@id10t98 you are so weak. So when do you start your gender reassignment surgery?
@@carl1367 As an alien from another planet, my civilization doesnt recognize gender questions as being a legitimate topic of conversation.
Bonus Points: they most likely own pets as well.
"You don't need a puppy you need a slap in the face"
Omg this is like in the Simpsons where the RNC has a sign that reads "We want what's worse for everybody"
And people vote for that sentiment. WTF?
😅
I hope these gross beings die out soon.
And "We're Just Plain Evil" - that one's evergreen.
@@scooooter37 Well they look like people... some of them.
🤣🤣🤣🎶 "dumb little idiots, dumb little lie"🎶👏🏼👏🏼 that was just brilliant😂😂😅👏🏼💗✌🏼
Stephen, I've been watching you for more years than I want to admit. You make me laugh out loud consistently every single show. God bless you and yours. Thanks for getting out the news with style.
I swear watching Fox News is like receiving visions from an alternate dimension where everyone is really pissed off and too stupid to know why.
Faux News saw Idiocracy as a documentary.
I believe that's our current time line.
Good one!
Host 1: WHY ARE WE ANGRY?
Host 2: OH ARE YOU TOO GOOD TO BE ANGRY YOU SNOWFLAKE!?
Host 1: NO YOUR RIGHT I DOUGHNT CARE!
It's more like a bad LSD trip.
Ok, so, true story: in finals week my university brings in emotional support dogs to the library to help with everyone's stress.
Also, Fox sure is a hotbed for sociopathic tendencies.
My college had puppies in the counseling center during finals week, it was LOVELY. Being able to pause and relax during the finals chaos was so helpful and such a needed break. I did really well on my finals and even got an A+ from a professor who boasts that most people fail their course 🙄 I put in the work of course, but easing my stress levels and taking care of myself made the whole experience much easier to handle.
Don’t let Dr. Oz near those puppies 😂
One of the best dogs we ever had was literally someone walked up to my wife and handed her a puppy.
Also, looked like the study was about petting a cat having a calming effect, not a plea to give college students puppies. Leave it to fox news to declare puppies and cats are the same thing.
I payed into Medicare all my working life. In retirement I have pursued a number of neccessary health issues. I could not have afforded it without Medicare.
I'm right there with you. And there are more people in our age group than ever before.
But there are billionaires who could have used that money!
Medicare contribution used to be capped but not anymore; social security contribution, however, remains capped, benefitting the wealthy greatly. Sad. BTW it's "PAID," not "PAYED." The latter is an actual word but it doesn't mean the same thing.
I fought hard for several years and hired and paid a lawyer to get social security disability and medicaid. I can barely get by on what I get, only bc my parents allow me to live on their land rent-free and I don't have a vehicle and I only spend $$ on utilities and food. If they defund those systems it would take away my independence entirely, and I'm one of the lucky ones, at least I have family that would take me in and support me, others in my situation would be homeless very quickly. I wish the people in charge of deciding how much money people like me, and people like you, get, would live in our situation for just a little bit. Because I know they have no clue how scary it is to think you might need a medical procedure and have no way to pay for it.. They've never even worried about not being able to afford a prescription.
Hey, there are billionaires who need that money! Politicians won't buy themselves!
Fox News hires a lot of very unpleasant people! Who complains that much about getting to pet a cat or dog besides people whose souls are so dark no cat or dog will let them close without ripping them to shreds or biting a chuck out of them.
Or they are such lying hypocrites who will say anything for money and then go home and pet their cats and dogs
One of them, Tammy Bruce, is a huge cat enthusiast in real life.
Some people have been miserable so long they just genuinely enjoy being miserable, and so they can't comprehend why everyone else isn't as miserable as themselves.
Fox News women have way too much time on their hands😊
They've got a problem with people petting puppies and cats. But when a 10 year old girl gets pregnant and forced to carry the fetus full term because of their trigger laws it's perfectly fine?! I have no words... 🙄😤
This was one of Stephan’s most “fun” monologue he really was acting goofy asf in this one and I love it.
Love how fox flipped the narrative of the study from cats ( low maintenance), to a puppy (high maintenance) without even batting an eyelash. They can't even be honest about that. Then these deplorables go on to talk about slapping young adults like that's no big deal. Good Lord!
If that "lord" is THEIR "Lord"?
He ain't good. He's a f*cking monster.
Well, they probably have puppies on their small minds, coz theyre still trying to defend Oz from his puppy killing spree for "medical trials".
Seems to me like they need to be slapped in the face with a closed hand multiple times.
It isn't surprising. Republicans always turn to violence before anything else as a "solution" to anything, even as a "solution" when there is no problem.
" talk about slapping young adults ?". I know a few "NEWS" casters I would love to slap !
Really great stand up here, the writers and Stephen are hitting on all cylinders, just freakin' hilarious, thank you.
The best part is they aren't wrong either. VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE Josh Shapiro VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE John Fetterman VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE BLUE VOTE
I received my first cat and my current Boston Terrier from people who handed them to me cause they couldn’t take care of them. Real World.
Too funny, Stephen. Always. And, the puppies are adorable. 😊
My doggo looked up going "where are my pets and cuddles?" When Colbert started making those puppy noises 🤣🤣🤣
VOTE ON NOVEMBER 8TH! THE STAKES ARE TOO HIGH TO STAY HOME!
Blue wave!!!!! 🌊
Just early vote instead! Then much less chance of giant lines and right wing fuckery messing anything up.
Already voted. All pro democracy candidates!
Already voted. 🙂
Nah...as a Californian it doesn't matter to me
Puppies and kitties of America, unite!
That 'Hot Babe' ditty was hilarious! I actually applauded while sitting in front of my computer at 4:30 am! (shhh, don't tell anyone). Shout out to the writer and the very talented band!!
Keep it coming Stephen! That was a very entertaining and smooth flowing monologue. Thanks again for your work.
No one's going to hand you a puppy in real life? People literally give out free puppies on parking lots or to small town neighbors all the time. Hell, I came home from work one day and a random cat just walked right up to me and wanted attention. I've had coworkers offer me puppies because they were trying to find them a home. It is so damn easy to adopt a pet it's insane.
No one hands you anything in real life thought, right? Felt like such a stupid thing for her to say lmao
Fox News: pets make you snowflakes
Also Fox: not conceding defeat and rioting is not snowflake behaviour
They hate animals because animals hate them.
Murdoch media just can't help hating things. Even kittens 🐱 and pups 🐶
Also watching Stephen melt at the sight of pups was just adorable 😍
"Nobody's just going to hand you a kitten in real life"
Uh, ma'am, I have like six friends who have taken in stray and rescue kittens and are trying to find someone to adopt them RIGHT NOW. One friend brought in a stray cat during a really bad rainstorm and she promptly gave birth in her closet all over her husband's favorite boots. They might not hand you a kitten and wave you off with no questions, but it's really not that hard to be handed a kitten.
Yes, well, she's a MAGA idiot.
They're not exactly known for little things like "research."
OK, now I get it, this explains Faux News' *_ultramagalisticsupertraitorousintentions._* They don't like puppies. It's a cold, cruel heart that doesn't like puppies.
Exactly. Even the grinch likes his dog.
Was thinking about MAGA and GQPers who consider themselves "pro-life." I always ask if they are vegan, too, and most of the time they are not. So I guess they are only pro certain lives. Their argument is that cows are animals, so then can we eat cat and dog burgers? Why is that frowned upon? I thought animal lives didn't matter. Bunch of hypocrites: they don't care about any lives at all.
Like their boss, they hate all living things. He only tolerates ones that bring him money.
@@mylifewithmarmalade4624 he treated his dog like democrats treat the tax payer
Do you enjoy being braindead?
It takes an impressive level of crazy to get that worked up over a study about reducing stress by petting cats.
It doesn't even have to be cats. What's next, Fox News promoting "Let's beat up anyone who has a pet/likes animals/is not a complete psychopath?" Because, it's ironic, one of the warning signs on lists of _Warning Signs You Might Be Dealing With a Psychopath_ compiled by both psychologists and the FBI over the years is: "cruelty to animals". Bonus point if the person started abusing or killing small wild animals or pets early in childhood.
but their anger is literally all they've got! and they only have nutjobs on the air showing them how to rage about nothing 😆
I'm pretty sure all of em get their stress relief at the bottom of a bottle.
Somebody needs to pet a cat. Apparently, it reduces the cat's stress levels too, as long as it is consensual.
facts, clearly lady needs a cat to pet.
Please make a complete full song parody. That was brilliant and so well performed!
Any day Stephen gets to cuddle puppies or hang with Evie is clearly a good day.
"Nobody is going to just hand you a kitten in real life"
That's almost literally how I got my first cat.
It happens. A friend was handed a Pug puppy on NYC sidewalk. She lived a wonderful life with him for 13 years.
Clearly that means you’re entitled and living in a liberal fantasy land (according to Fox News).
Oh… the universe has gifted me with multiple pets that way. 😂 It’s the best! It means that pet was meant for you.
All my critters were rescued from a fate worse than death...lol!
@@judithgannon5642 lucky friend! I had mine 9 years...same situation only my guy was 3 and we're in Newfoundland! Rescues are the best!
One of my favorite memories from college was sitting in the second hand bookstore reading and petting their cat. That cat purred all the way through it too.
Great memory!
That's a really cool memory. I can visualize dusty sunlight slanting inward to stacks of books, and the purring cat. ✌️ Just needs hot tea.
We had this at our college. Thier take is just laughably absurd. I bet all these people have a dog or a cat at home that they love and brings them joy at the end of the day. When in the dorms, you can't bring your dog from home with you or get a new dog if you don't have one. No one's gonna give you a puppy in the real world, but you're probably not gonna be barred from having one either.
That song though 👏 Colbert is undoubtedly the king of late night.
"Speaking of those responsible for Jan. 6...FOX News"
-Amen
It's gonna be fun to watch them either completely vilify Trump when he gets charged and they get implicated as accomplices... or they keep being dumb and the station goes down via Federal siezure
This is why we adore Stephen Colbert!
@@JohnPeacekeeper I get what you are saying, but I find it impossible to watch faux network in anyway, shape or form.
@@davidhart1118 well, you wouldn't need to tune into faux news to watch anyways. The last thing faux news will report is them being held in any way accountable for any of the misinformation they have spread, the lies they have told, or the collateral damaged caused by the incitement to acts against democracy, or acts of violence, inspired by the outrage they drum up amongst the snowflakes that believe anyone who chooses to think or see things differently than them isn't just wrong but they don't deserve to have a voice, speak their minds, or view things differently. We have people who call themselves patriots, but will stand in front of polling locations with the sole intent of trying to intimidate people from doing the most patriotic thing we can do, vote, simply because they don't like the idea that someone could choose to have a different political viewpoint, or choose to vote as they see fit, as is everyone's right to do. These people will not present any information, or report on events, that are so blatantly anti-democracy, anti-freedom, and contrary to what rights the Constitution guarantees us, but they will spend time telling us how having a pet, and relieving stress and anxiety by having that pet, is somehow a threat to the future of this nation.
@@Metalbass10000 yeah, ok well said, I obviously have never had to deal with anything or seen anything like what you described in your reply to me. Thanks for taking the time to reply and for opening my eyes and mind wider for a view to how toxic these "people" are to a very average guy.
It is an undeniable scientific fact that anything can be made better with the application of puppies.
Except when Dr.oz has them
@@lindalovatt5799 😨
In my case it's ferrets. A business of ferrets giggling and war dancing all over the place is a great way to lift the spirits.
Hearing a kitten meow and climb up to nap on you after a hard day's work is just the bees knees!
Meanwhile, Fox News would like their application of puppies to be in the spirit of Cruella de Ville. 🎶The curl of their lips. The ice in their stare. All innocent children had better beware. Cruella, Cruella de Fox. 🎶
Wow, if these people have children they need to be investigated..."they need to be Slapped"...their disgusting
If petting my cat or taking a 5 minute break to play with him helps with my stress so i can focus better I am all for it. Better than your eyes bleeding and getting a stress headache from reading and stressing all night.
There is something seriously wrong with someone who wants to beat people who like petting cats.
Pretty sure we're at the point where being happy in any considerable way for any amount of time is considered a mental illness by some.
It doesn’t surprise me that they don’t like cats, they sound like real bitches
Also, we already knew this info. Anecdotally and scientifically, we already knew petting dogs and cats makes people happy. Because, duh. Humans love petting furry animals. Hello-we have _petting_ zoos.
@@alexwyatt2911 They’re trying to be pissed off. They’re shaming people for finding wholesome ways to battle mental illness and stress. It’s insane. I just wish someone had asked how many of them own pets and whether it inhibits their productivity.
Aww, be easy on them. Obviously they were told as kids, "Mommy doesn't refuse to hug you because she hates the fact that the condom broke and my conservative family forced me to give birth to a repugnant smelly poop factory, Mommy doesn't hug you because she doesn't want to raise a snowflake. Now, go kick a puppy to toughen up."
I loved it! 🎶Dumb little idiots! Dumb little lies!🎶
I love when he sings. Brings me so much joy
@@soxfan7887 Brings him joy too, you can see he just loves doing it :)
I work in one of the best known hospitals in the world. We use pet therapy regularly because evidence based practice shows it’s effective. Are these patients “snowflakes?”
I also like how they say… your university’s not going to give you a dog…. When my university, Loyola University Chicago, has a therapy dog that has green goes around campus….specifically for students to interact with.
As someone who dual majored in Philosophy and Theology... I just want to say, I appreciated that Anselm's Ontological Argument joke 10:25 well-played, sir
Is it made funnier if you know what Anselm's Ontological Argument is?
@@daverhoden445 as a joke, not really; it's mostly funny because of how obscure Anselm's argument is, outside of a philosophy or theology classroom it's a pretty safe bet that no one else would recognize it... the "ontological proof" meaning that it's derived from the fundamental nature of what God definitionally is, Anselm essentially argued that God is "that than which nothing greater can be" (except in Latin), and rather than it simply being a circular logic "I define God to be existing, therefore God exists," Anselm writes about 50 pages of very dense Catholic philosophy to argue that the definition is metaphysically necessary for the concept of God to be intelligible at all... in short, it's a way more linguistically awkward (but still technically logically sound and valid) version of Aquinas' more famous Five Ways proofs, and very few people are likely to have any awareness of it at all outside of a seminary haha
Having just secured a restraining order on a family member, that point really hits home, You know democracy is on the line when ballot boxes obtain a restraining order.
I was handed a dog at my local grocery co-op, because one of the workers there had found him in the dumpster out back. I loved that dog
5:32 "Fun fact: They're being tried at the Prettyman federal courthouse. If they appeal, it goes to the Handsomeboy circuit court, then possibly all the way to the Supreme Cutie-Patooties."
Ah, yes. One of those trials that ultimately gets decided by the _Supremes._
Cats & dogs anytime make life so much better!!! Thanks for driving home the point. Fox "news" is bonkers in every way humanly possible.
The hatefulness in those people's faces and voices. They live in constant search of something innocent to attack.
It's especially hypocritical coming from Tammy Bruce, who is a huge cat lover. I used to work with her before she became a shill for Fox and she is an animal lover and always has at least one cat.
"Dehydrated Mr. Clean" 🤣🤣🤣
Loved it!
I got a chuckle outta that
I have never lived without at least one cat. When I left home for college the first thing I did was go to the shelter to be handed 2 kittens. Many businesses have a pet and they attract people. Some places even have kittens from a local shelter to help people chill and maybe adopt a couple. That’s called Win-Win and is much better than slapping customers or employees in the face. Every cop shop should have a couple cats so those guys don’t go out angry and scared all the time. In related news, some places now have actual LEOs guarding drop boxes and questioning everyone who comes to deposit their ballot - WTAF???
I work from home and get to cuddle up with my cats whenever I (and they) want. Fox is nucking futz.
"No one's going to hand you a puppy in the real world." She's right, they hand out kitties instead. The assistant director at my job brings kittens to work during her break and we all get to pet them.
No one in the real world will hand her a puppy. Because she would probably kill it!
@@theodethomasa6358 That woman clearly has serious issues. I don't think she played with enough puppies as a child.
@@whiteraven181 My real fear about this woman is how she reacts to children. Maybe she slaps them too?
@@whiteraven181 actually, she got bit by one and has had a hard-on against them ever since.
"The question is, did I stick it out or am I always holding it in??"
The REAL questions in life.
Even sadder is knowing there are millions of faux viewers thinking, "Yeah I need to slap my kids more! And no damn puppys!"
Gotta love being a teenager growing up around all this
Petting cats makes someone a snowflake? I can’t even. 😭
I think it may have something to do with cats being generally temperamental, but that’s up in the air.
@@eskarinakatz7723 No, it's much simpler than that. They just hate the idea that young people might ever be happy.
These people are sociopaths.
Can you imagine these people have children?! poor children!
"You don't need a puppy you need a slap in the face. Now go have a mental breakdown and be traumatized for the rest of your life." - some republican mother
@@sandpiperr Ah. Ah! “Misery loves company.” They’re miserable, and want to make others miserable. They want the cycle of misery to keep on spinning, instead of breaking it. They don’t want change.
@@eskarinakatz7723 That's the going approach to life over there. Suck the joy out of everything nice, then get a job at- and be stuck at- faux news for life because they sure aren't hirable elsewhere after there. 🤦♀️
"Seen here...wait where is he?!?!?" That caught me off guard. Also cats and puppies!! Also the irony of needing a cookie. Wild.
And she's such a snowflake, that even her chemistry book has to be organic!
My chemistry book was FULL of toxic chemicals, and I got great grades!
What's sad is that Mac graduated from prestigious Georgetown. And ended up as a press secretary who lied to our faces every day with provable lies. And now she acts even more like a fool.
I believe these people just need a therapist and a hug. They're so clearly unhappy and miserable. I kind of feel sorry for them.
Absolutely insane that we have so many candidates that don’t believe in American Democracy.
*WHATRE YOU EVEN DOING HERE* !?!
I too visited the website and laughed my head off. Talk about having to plan a joke in advance!
@@GlennTillema The writer's room would like you to know that all of the jokes are planned in advance.
@@misterdoctor9693 I don't doubt it, I just got the sense that "advance" often meant moments before the show.
Why on Earth would you run in a contest if you're not willing to lose?
They're here for your wallet.
BEST one in a while, #StephenColbert !! Laughed so hard ... Thank you!!!
I guess I was doing something good for myself without knowing. I snuck and had a kitten living in my dorm room with me my whole freshman year. I was fortunate to have a private room, no roommate and I made straight As.
Stephen's description of Rick Scott as a dehydrated Mr. Clean brought a seldom smile to my face in these troubled times. Thank you!
It was great made me chuckle a bit
Can't unsee it now. 😳
I consider him one of the Florida reptiles. One that has been in the water as a floater.
@@ktmurphy3096
Oh, now I see Rick Scott scampering after people on his belly like an alligator, dentition displayed.
I would've gone with Bargain Bin Nosferatu.
The fact that I can now pet my cats and dog and say "who makes fox news angry? You do!" And mean it makes petting my animals that much more comforting.
and that makes you look crazy
that made me chuckle XD tyvm!
@@cryptoram4203 No it doesn't make @RogueSoul look crazy. It is a wonderful thing! Anything that can reduce stress is a good thing, so long as it's not violent or doesn't advantage of other people. Most SANE people make fun of Fox "noos" these days. Rupert Murdoch is OBVIOUSLY using addiction to fear and anger chemicals to control the most gullible of our population. Those who cannot see that are usually victims of his plot. I feel sorry for you, CryptoRam. Please get therapy.
😂 I LOVE THIS!! Thank you 😊 🎉
@@cryptoram4203 No, it makes FOX animal haters and child abuse proponents look crazy. FOX "We hate pets and anxious kids need a sl-p in the face!" That is crazy!
"These kids don't need cats, I think they need a slap in the face!" 😂 How does anyone take them seriously
Fox hosts all seem like they sit at the bar slugging down shots of whiskey and smoking packs of cigarettes. I guess that was their college!
"I have unresolved childhood trauma so they should too!" I think that sums up Fox News.
I was floored at that dumb blonde saying that she needs a cookie and a stack of books. She's going to sit there and dump on somebody petting a dog but it's okay to eat in class. Sounds to me like she needs the slap in the face No eating in class piggy.
Maybe CPS or the police is taking them seriously. But you can be sure they will backpedal so fast, their a$$ will overtake their brain...which seems to be their default setting anyway. "Oh, no, I never slapped my kids. I was just saying that. It was an act. This is an entertainment segment...". Yes, we all remember how fast certain individuals at FOX and other fringe people toned down their rhetoric, when it went to court and they had to say the truth...probably went against everything they were, are and will be^^
There are people who will believe this. However, they don't realize their own animals are emotional supports: many men really love their dogs.
I’ve got a service dog that I pet and love everyday. He has helped me during night terrors from war, seizures and general loneliness. I’m a snowflake I guess
Na, you're brave enough to live your life in a way that is positive for you regardless of the opinions of assholes. You've got my respect, for whatever that's worth.
I just made a comment earlier about this. Service dogs of all kinds are wonderful. Only a bottom feeder would hate a dog or cat.
Aww, bless your heart! Have a groovey day, my friend, you and your doggo!
His rendition of "Ultra MAGA Bella Hot Babe"🤣🤣🤣 had me on the floor laughing so hard!!!
"No one will hand you puppies in the real world" - has she BEEN to the real world? There's honestly a lot of puppies there.
I love how the late night shows have all given up being polite and just rip on the idiots hard now.
Gotta call out the crazies before they completely take over.
Truth hurts.
Wish they went even harder. I love watching The Majority Report on youtube specifically because they hold back zero punches. I truly need to see these people get savagely mocked and belittled just to feel semi normal in these abnormal times.
I hardly even watch right wing stuff anymore because it's just too depressing to see how far gone their brains are. How eager they are to believe obvious lies.. And how easily they dismiss facts and arguments by just going "those scientists were paid money for their work, therefore they are corrupt. I rest my case."
When adults discover that they can lie just like they did when they were kids, we're probably not far off from the end.
I'm liking it.
It’s all become so much of a farce that there is no other way to deal with it anymore!
Stephen babytalking to puppies is the BEST. That's precious. I sincerely love it.
We need something wholesome, and that was it. Seeing him with those puppies melted my heart into a thousand splendid colors!
"Dumb little idiots dumb little lie" oh man he's killed me, he's killed me
Nice little song, Stephen! Randy Rainbow will be proud of you!
I can imagine prepping for the show. “QUICK! WE NEED TWO PUPPIES!”
Well it is new York where you can order a top Ramon sandwich covered in cheese at 3am. I'm sure two dogs aren't too hard to find.
I'd have been more worried about getting those song lyrics right.
Also, Yay puppies!!
@@cmills1008 the greatest city in the world - in the shit hole that is the USA 🤘
😂😂😂😂
Yknow... Only fox news could be angry at kittens....
"No one's gonna hand you a puppy". Yup Karen, no one on the planet has a puppy
I know who was a sad girl because she never got a puppy... "no one ever handed me a puppy! 😭"
Dude, shelters are always asking people to adopt pets. They will literally hand you a puppy. And, damn! We all know humans love petting furry animals. Hello, we have _petting_ zoos.
@@alexwyatt2911 these folks have abandoned their birthright to be human and happy.
@@thisbushnell2012 Fox News = Cruella de Ville.
Puppies and kittens are a liberal lie, wake up sheeple!
Wait, are sheep even real?! ARE SHEEP LIBERAL LIES?! WAKE UP, APE PEOPLE!
"No one is going to hand you a puppy" ... how out-of-touch is this woman?!? Does she seriously not know that you can LITERALLY walk into any of thousands of animal shelters ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY and say, "I'll adopt that one."
7:50 "did I stick it out, or am I always holding it in?" -- i feel seen...
Rick Scott looks like a creepy motel owner who DEFINITELY has cameras installed in all the room toilets.
Who is also an alien whose skin suit disguise does not fit him properly.
I always thought he looked like a walking penis.
@@JMurdochNZ 😆
I like to think of Scott as a old Skeletor doll that got melted in a microwave.
@@PaulA-pg7jm 😂
I wonder if what Fox News is saying has anything to do with Trump not having any pets (and hating dogs in general).
There’s something wrong with people that don’t like dogs!
We know that dogs are pretty good judges of human character...
I was wondering the same thing. Are all Republicans now going to be forced to give up their dogs?
@@Lucius1958 so are bald eagles!
Fox said although they felt for Fetterman, he was a total wreck. And liberal media said Fetterman did outstandingly nothing wrong with him at all and how dare you say he's messed up. Just like Joe Biden. But Fox is the delusional crazy network right? It's just more proof of the total disregard fof the truth that the Dem party is all about.
"College students want to blow off steam by petting an animal???? No!!! We should smack them instead!" These people are freakin lunatics
I wish people would stop referring to trumplettes as "pleading the fifth" and state more clearly what they did - "refusing to answer because they would incriminate themselves".
Heck, I'm allergic to cats, and they make me happier than Fox News ever could.
And, like Fox, they can give you a rash if you're around them too long.
@@couragekarnga8735 If you're allergic.
@@elirien4264 Trump must be allergic then?
I'm mildly allergic. I just get itchy eyes and a runny nose. I'm purfectly (sorry, had to do it) willing to take an antihistamine to pet a cat.
A jalapeno enema would me happier than Fox News every could