👋 Well, well, well! You made it to the comment section. Can I hazard a guess that you…. LIKED this video? If you did, here’s a few nifty ones I’ve made that are similar: ○ Not breaking up with my boyfriend: th-cam.com/video/O0XsGNQ9fYM/w-d-xo.html ○ The Truth About Being Single: th-cam.com/video/v75AQPuxhPc/w-d-xo.html ○ Being honest with my boyfriend: relationships in your twenties: th-cam.com/video/ZA2pfyRB7as/w-d-xo.html
Leena is such a good interviewer (which is kind of what she is here, with it being her channel and her being the 'compere'). She always lets the other person speak and never speaks over them or changes their point to suit what she was waiting to to say. I always notice this when she does collabs.
tbh she is hands down the most insightful and #woke and kind of any youtuber I watch and I adore her for it. add hannah to the mix and my brain explodes with joy :P
Oh yeah, no, I wasn't saying that you're not officially single or anything, nor that post-relationship singleness is somehow better. It's just that there are different narratives attached to each singleness (interesting how "widowed" has a specific name). I guess I don't like the arbitrarily decisive, polar nature of the two categories.
I don't think there really is a difference, only that one's perception is different. At the very least they are probably learning what they like and don't like about being in a relationship.
having basically always been single, i veer wildly between "single is great! I'm learning who I am! I'm going into adulthood knowing what I want out of life and that I'm defined only by myself!", but also "goddamnit what is it like to love just one other person that much?" I really liked this video btw. It was just... so nice and friendly to watch, and interesting too, given my complete ignorance of the subject matter lol
Any happy single people out there who don't have loads of casual sex? I feel like this is always implied as being the best part of being single even though I personally have found it to be the least fulfilling bit.
Nobodysaknowitall I did a bit of that but I actually haven't had sex this year....😅 And that's been totally fine really; I agree that it's not nearly the most fulfilling aspect
I've been discovering this too. The option to have sex with someone if I feel so inclined is lovely, but so is not feeling like I'm letting someone (a partner) down if I'm not in the mood for a long stretch of time. I just feel like I get to own my sex life rather than sharing it so completely with someone else. In my opinion, the most fulfilling bits of being single are the moments of solitude and the autonomy.
I love the point that you guys made about how since you were happy and content to be single it's not something that you're running from. I think that's really important to being in a healthy relationship.
After an iffy relationship, I resolved myself to being single and started planning my finances around purchasing a home and told myself that if I would adopt and raise a child as a single mom. The next person I dated was the person I married. I think that time in between solidified my values and standards for myself and consequently, a partner, and that focused my vision to those who also were confident in themselves and their goals.
I'm in my first relationship as a 21 year old and find it chill & not too stressful. Before 8 months ago I had never dated & enjoyed being single. This relationship feels natural & I hope I don't end up fearing being single. We'll see I guess. :)
I can completely relate to this. I was single for 25 years, hadn’t really dated at all (the only people interested were not for me). Then I met a very chilled, laid back guy (my total opposite) and we’ve been together ever since. We moved in together very quickly but it’s been four years and we are still going strong.
I love this conversation and what you ladies went into, but what about the perspective of someone whose never been in a relationship and has always been single ? Especially when you have a general idea of what relationship is like based on friends, books you read, shows you watch etc but don't know until you're in one? For me, thats been my position, and so when I think of that, I think of wanting to experience a committed or serious relationship, being able to enjoy having a significant other and what that entails. I'd love someone else's thoughts on this, especially from someone whose experienced a few relationships and has had long breaks of being single in between.
I was in a relationship for 7 years and have spent the last year being single and I'm loving it.. I made a video recently about staying single and loving yourself. I think this break from relationships will really help my next one, what you said about being scared about being single is so true, so many stay in relationships because they feel safe and comfortable even though it might not be the right person. Now I know that in the future I'm not scared to be on my own, I will be with that person for the right reasons.
i wish everyone could have the advice about having a period of your life where you're single and happy and using it as a safety blanket to feel secure and confident in your relationship. brilliant
also i went from 4 years single to now in a almost 2-year relationship aaaaand we live together so the transition has been crazy. especially since when i broke up with my previous ex i had such an amazing time being single and productive, so i always thought relationships were synonymous with laziness (!). have since learned that you can be in a relationship AND creative AND productive!
I loved this. It's really reassuring to hear that other people worry about/are hyper-aware of losing their independence/identity in relationships too, and that none of us actually know what we're doing and we just make it up as we go.. phew
It's kind of comforting to hear that some people have taken YEARS between relationships as well. My last (and first) relationship was 4 years ago - in between those 6 and 3 years, you too did go on dates or hooked up with people though, right? Because I haven't, and it feels like I just know absolutely NOTHING about anything ... relationships, intimacy, make outs, sex ... GEEZ, HELP
Lolz saaaame I've been single for almost 2 years, but that period has been absolutely empty on the romantic/sexual front (like not even kissing or flirting, just nothing), and I can see it going on for much longer since I just don't meet people. Makes me feel a bit weird sometimes, it's nice to know I'm not the only one! Also it was also my last and first relationship lol And I also feel like now I know nothing about nothing... Anyway I really don't have anything insightful to add, just wanted to say I'm in the exact same situation and it's nice to not feel alone lol
I don't understand why people see hooking up while being single as almost mandatory. When i broke up with my first boyfriend i was so empty, I didn't see other people as "people", but rather as "moving furniture" and had no interest in anybody. My current boyfriend didn't date anybody for 8 years, and it didn't make him a better or a worse person.
PLEASE talk more about internal sexism relating to "an i spending too much time with boyfriend", and just overall strong feminist identity in a relationship !!!
OMG I had never really explicitly thought of it as internalised sexism - can you explain/expand more? You mean like, we should feel like we can spend time with our boyfriends and it not be a 'feminist fail'?
i first watched this video when i had never even dated anyone, and now i'm watching it again having been in a relationship for over a year and the happiest i've ever been! and actually i think alot of the comments you guys make in this video about what a healthy relationship looks like were extremely helpful for my anxious brain to bear in mind when starting to commit, so thank you both so so much!!
Loved this video, I related so much! Went from a really intense (and not very healthy) relationship age 16-19, didn't ever consider being in a relationship again. Got to 22, and to cut a long story short, I ended up being kissed by a friend on a drunk night out, sneakily dated him for 8 months after which time I decided it was probably going well, & let him meet my parents. Two and half years in, we're buying a house (which is probably the most unbelievable part of this whole story), and it's literally just like being with my best mate who also does the sex, ayyyyyyy
I commented on your "Truth about being Single" video about how I have not been in a relationship ever and lo and behold two months after commenting, I met my boyfriend. At first I was so comfortable with how my life was that a month in I had a breakdown about how I miss being single but I don't want to lose him (I was a bit mad) and now here I am having lived with him for a whole month and I could not imagine having anyone else here with me now despite the multitude of times I have joked with him about how I nearly broke up with him because I was scared of not being single. It is such a weird transition to go through but yay to us gals for loving commitment despite the previous acceptance and love for singledom.
god i wish there were more people as real as you Leena, seriously so so rare...everything about you , how you interact, and talk, and listen, is so bloody genuine and without agenda or any attempt to present as something. You don't pause, you don't self-check, it's just all truth x
Love this video! I was in a 6 and a half year relationship from the age of 14 to 20. So they were really formative years and I was terrified of being single. It ended when I found out he was cheating on me, and looking back he was a really emotionally manipulative person. I wish I had seen it sooner. In saying that, things have worked out really well for me now. We broke up just before I started my final year of uni (big up Aberystwyth!) and I had THE BEST time. I was so incredibly comfortable in being single. I loved spending more time with myself, and also more time with my friends, I said yes to so many more fantastic opportunities, and I gained so much more confidence. In March I ended up going out with a friend-of-a-friend (or a few friends, because there are like no degrees of separation in Aber) and we've been so happy together ever since! At the start of the relationship I was like 'you know I'm leaving in a couple months, right????' and didn't want anything serious at all. I was also pretty convinced I wasn't suited to relationships, and didn't want one for a long time. But here we are. I've stuck around in Aber for another year and am working, trying to build up some money and then see what happens. It scares me that I'm willing to give so much for him, but I'm so ridiculously happy, and he really understands how my previous relationship has affected me. It was strange too, because I'd built up an identity of being the one who was really good at being single, and when friends went through break-ups they'd come to me for advice/empowerment/feminist feels, etc. This relationship was so unexpected but I wouldn't change a single moment of it.
I really love watching the two of you together! You're both so intelligent and put your points across so clearly, and you're both fun as well. Videos like this make my day. I came out of a two and a half year relationship last week, so right now I'm still pretty heartbroken. It was the only relationship I've ever had, so now I have to learn to be single again. I loved seeing your transition, how you're both so happy now and managed to get out of the other side of heartbreak. I know it's going to take a long time for me, and I wish it didn't, but it's nice to know that I will get through it, and one day be happy again with someone else.
Love this!! I got into my first and current relationship 2 years ago when I was 20 and in my 3rd year of college. It was a time when I had recovered from depression by myself, stopped going out of my way to find guys who I wouldn't like or who wouldn't reciprocate my feelings, and just felt genuinely happy and confident in myself as a person. So I met my bf when I was totally happy not looking for a guy lol. It honestly gives me so much comfort and benefits our relationship that we both went into it having been happy while single.
I've been in a relationship for 4 years and was basically single my whole life beforehand (dated around but meh), and it's been amazing to have someone to grow with who is so supportive. I don't know- it's really cool to see other people's experiences as well!
I remember watching this when you uploaded. I was single and very sad, because all I wanted was a partner and I thought I lost you two in my team lol Now I've been in a very happy relationship for about 6 month and I watch this very much in love and very happy. Funny how things change!
"single is a happy place fo me" wow I love that! its been a hottt minute since I've been single but I was right in your spot too having single being a huge part of my identity, its freaky now almost thinking about being single again
I loved this video! My transition was quite different, I had been single for 5 yrs and also had commitment issues. I had just moved city to start Uni and was so excited for the single life, then I met my bf and everything went so quickly, within 3 months we were living together and I started feeling panicked and feeling like I couldn't cope being single anymore but I love him so much I couldn't not be with him. I'm only now after a year and a half feeling more calm about everything and feeling productive.
Can't relate, have been single for 23 years now #woo...? Love listening to your girls. Especially the part where you talked about not being in a relationship because you're scared of being single. Such an important point.
Amen to all of this video. Was single for 21 years, in a relationship for just under a year, single for another year and a half and now dating someone for just over a year. Do not think I could have been in this relationship without my single time and yes got so much more serious so much faster than any other relationship.
It's my birthday today and i asked my only friend to go out with me and she said she can't because she's sick and later posted pictures of being outside. So now i'm basically crying since the afternoon but you two cheer me up so much! I have depression for two years now and on days like today i also listen to the podcast over and over and it makes me feel so much better. SO THANK YOU LOTS ❤
I’m reading this a year later and I hope that this girl is now your ex-friend and you had a lovely birthday this time around. Sending you a belated hug 🤗
after perpetually being in a relationship for 2 years, after my last breakup, i felt like life wasn't as interesting or fun for the first month or two. i wanted to be in a relationship. but after those couple of months, that feeling went away. the thing i struggled most with in the transition was not having someone be the default person i tell everything to, someone who always knows what's going on in my life. i struggled with feeling like my friends didn't listen to/care about what i was saying as much as a boyfriend would. i've been single for 2.5 years now and i'm totally chill with it. i'm totally open to being in a relationship but not actively seeking one out
Recently went from getting out of a mutually detrimental/borderline abusive relationship, embracing my singledom, and finding the first person I've ever truly loved. My current bf and I moved really quickly through the stages and from the getgo I was concerned about whether or not it was acceptable to allow another person to reach into my life and become my best friend so quickly. Especially with regards to trying to retain my independence and also properly showing respect and love to my bf. Trusting my gut and going with the flow just worked for me, the risk was so worth it.
I've been in a relationship for a year after been single for almost my whole life. It was weird getting used to this new "situation", I expected it to end any minute. After a month I was like "nice, still here...", after two months "oh, ok, it's still going strong...let's see how long it will last". And now, after a whole year I'm so happy and relaxed about it. :) yay for boyfriends (but also yay for being single because it's so nice, too! I'm so fine being with myself) Love you two! xx
I'm like the opposite of you guys. Since my first serious long-term relationship I kept jumping from relationship to relationship. And I'm finally at a stage(I've now been single for 9 months) where I'm happy being single and I can say no to people when they ask me out instead of jumping into relationships that aren't right for me. While I enjoyed being with the people I dated, looking back, I knew it wasn't going to last between me and my partners just because I didn't feel about them how they felt about me. It was kind of unhealthy, but I realise that now and I finally have come to terms with just going about my life and I'll meet someone when I meet them. Rather than trying to force myself to like people who show an interest in me.
So interesting! I'm 24, in my first relationship and didn't even really date until the last couple years. All of my friends are either frequently in relationships or still in their long single period, so it's great to hear how you've made the change and how much I can relate to. The most surprising thing to me is how easy it is (so far, 6 months in) because my friends who have dated a lot always warned me that being in a relationship is such hard work and I've heard all these struggles over the years, but with my partner it almost always just feels natural.
I've been dealing with my single identity on and off over the past few years. I've been single pretty much my whole life, so by the time I was in my 20s it really became an identity for me. But then even as I got to the stage where I was ready to try relationships, I kept seeing myself as single and kept not seeing the relationships I was in as "worth it." Like, it was easier for me to be single. Now I'm at the start-ish of a relationship again, and I feel myself hesitating again and looking back at the independence of singlehood. Basically I feel like a mess and admire the stage you both seem to be in
I really enjoyed this! I never had a boyfriend in high school and definitely prided myself on being the fun single friend, then got into a relationship just before uni and have been strangely serially monogamous since then (though I have been with my current boyfriend for almost two years and am so so happy). I always thought it was weird, because my school friends had only ever known me as a single, good time gal, and my uni friends think of me as someone who is very much a girlfriend. I don't know if it has that much effect on my identity or how I see myself, and being single for so long also helped me feel ready for the commitment of a relationship. It's good to know that you can be happy alone and that you're with someone because you want to be, not because you think you need to be. Wishing you both all the best for your relationships and glad to see you both so happy :)
THE FEAR is so bad, especially as a 22 year old. My boyfriend and I have both had a few relationships and leant a lot from them, and once we met it was so clear from the start that we work as such a good team! I know that I've met my best friend who I want to spend my life with but can't help worrying often about how massive that is and how young we are. I know only time will tell and you've just gotta go with the flow
This was pretty interesting to hear because I'm also quite the serial single-person; I've never had a relationship but I think I've pretty much gotten through the period of my life (re: most of high school and college) where am just desperate for a relationship to a really unhealthy point. I'm okay with being single, but I think its also quite different from your guys' experience because you were both in very deep relationships before singledom? I literally cannot imagine my life with a boyfriend in it, but I guess that may change. Or not. We'll see. Anyways interesting/great video guys :)
Ah my two faves! Loved this video. I can totally relate to the "single brand". For years I was the single one until I started hooking up with a guy from work. A year later we're in a relationship after a lot of ups and downs and it took time but like Hannah, we had to schedule time in but it works! Can't wait to hear more of your love endeavours!
Neither myself or my partner of nearly 3 years now were interested in being in a relationship together when we first met and decided we would be "casual" almost 4 years ago. Basically fwb. Well lo and behold we did indeed catch the feelings, and so when we decided to get together it wasn't so much to be in a relationship for the sake of being in one, as much as it was we wanted to be in a relationship with each other. We're both pretty independent people and I think knowing that we both would do fine single but are happier together kind of helps build a sense of trust in each other. Because I know he wouldn't be with me unless he wanted to be and vice versa if that makes sense. He's my brick and I love him.
This actually is so interesting, when you say about "single time" and that you needed it. Because for a long time, I sought someone, maybe to complete me or fix my sadness but now i'm sort of realising i need to be happy or try and be by myself. Would love to see a video on that subject x. Great video!
I found Hannah on TH-cam years ago and only recently found you Leena, you two brighten up my days so much! P.s when can I move to the UK once covid is done 🥺
I love this video because now I am married and when I first met my husband I was a little nervous about meeting someone who was so perfect for me. I love how you both said you were happy being single because I felt that way too. I wish you both the best in your relationships.
yall are so good! I love that yall are having these conversations I totally haven't seen these conversations in other places even though its so needed!!
Oh you're both disgustingly happy and it's great! I'm currently in the single is my brand stage of things, but maybe I could be in a relationship if I ever did things that let me meet people XD
I completely identify with this. I met my (gulp) fiancé and it got seriously really quickly, which freaked us both out, but it's just been so easy. I liked being single, especially after a serious relationship ended and made me question myself, but I like this more. I know I am in this relationship because I want to marry my best friend, not because I am scared of the alternative.
I used to tweet a lot making jokes about being single and lonely, because every so often I'd have a 'Feeling Single Evening' where I just wanted to let everyone know I wanted cuddles. I recently started dating someone and I had one of those evenings and it was such a weird realisation when I remembered 'Oh wait I don't have to tweet for romantic validation I can just MESSAGE HIM.' It was great. Also, being in a relationship when you're both online people is WEIRD. I just want to let everyone know that I'm dating this great guy but I CAN'T because there's WEIRD DYNAMICS and PRIVACY and that. It's stressful (but the best kind of stressful).
Oh but as much as I complained about being single, I didn't really have a problem with it. I was single for 18 years and it was mostly a chill time lol (I even made a video once that was like 'I've been single for 18 years and it's OKAY')
I'm so glad it's not just me who says that I want to get in my partner's skin! People think it's so odd but thank you for making me feel slightly more normal!
I had never really been in a serious relationship before my current boyfriend and everything you guys said just resonated with me as someone who was always the single friend to now being in a great relationship
It's so interesting hearing other people's experiences with dating. I have been with the same person for 11 years (this December) so I can't remember what single life is like LOL.
Ruth, hey I'm 26 (I'll be 27 in January) My boyfriend and I met during my sophomore year of high school (he had already graduated), 2 months before my 16th birthday. We've been together since December of 2006. Everyone we meet is always surprised that we've been together for so long but sometimes you meet the right one when you're young.
Marigold Witch that’s so lovely. Yeah definitely I met the love of my life at 15 but I’m only 19 so we’re just at the start of our journey together❤️❤️ we got married this August xx
Marigold Witch definitely, I met the love of my life at 15 but I’m only 19 so we’re just starting our journey together, we got married this August❤️❤️ my birthday is January too xx
Don't have MUCH to add because I haven't been single for 6 years, and I was 17 at the time... So I was a different person then. But weirdly I do relate to the whole knowing you can be happy single thing. I did know I could be happy single. and so even though I will most likely never know what it's like to be single again (as an adult). I'm ok with that.
I'm in my first relationship at 22. I thought single was my brand also. We've been together a year now and it's amazing. Being comfortable in my singledom meant that I didn't try to enter a relationship for the sake of it. I didn't know someone could matter this much to me.
I had always been in a relationship from basically the time I started dating at 15 to about 2 years ago. During that time the longest I had been single was about 7 or 8 months. I spent about a year and a half being single which was very much needed and had been a goal of mine. Single life was a great learning time about myself. I took a solo trip to Europe, and really took control of my work life and accomplished many great things. This past January I entered into a new relationship and we are very much committed. I am living away currently going to school so we only get to see each other every two months but its kinda nice cause I get to live like Im single for one last time.
I've been single for almost 3 months now after a 3.5 year relationship. I hadn't been single in a long time and I am so happy I decided to give it a go. Like you talked about, I now know that single is a happy place that I don't have to be afraid to return to. That being said, I feel like I want to keep being single for a while. Relationships don't sound appealing to me at this point because I'm not open to giving someone that much time and energy, and I want to know that I can be a fully functioning adult without having a partner!
Lol I'm 18 and I've never been in a relationship so I don't know what it'd be like but I do get annoyed about how my brother spends most of his time with his girlfriend and makes adjustments for her but not for his family who he still lives with
Earlier this year was the first relationship-of sorts I had formed in my adult life. I noticed a similar sudden self awareness of the time I would need/wanted to carve out each day to communicate with this guy, having had all my time to myself previously, which was an interesting transition. Unfortunately it didn't last very long (his decision, his loss) and I suddenly realised how much time I'd spent with him/talking to him in those couple of months so I booked a couple of holidays and started a tap dance class to fill my newfound free weekends and weeknights! Hard not to be "on the lookout" as I am so aware it happens best organically when you least expect but as one of the few singles in my friendship group, it can get pretty lonely at times.
On expectations vs reality. Man is the media a warped and twisted place for representations of healthy long term relationships or conflict resolution. It really isn't about the dramatic ups and downs that could make or break you, but the fruitfulness of every day spent together and the consistent effort it takes to remember that.
I've not really had a relationship but it interested me that Hannah talked about the way in which she wasn't as urgently seeking new experiences or new ways to be happy now she is in a relationship. It reminded me of the opposite of what happened when I moved out of my parents house aged 30, having lived at home since I finished university. I didn't realise till I moved out but I already had company all the time in my house when I lived with them, so it was more of a choice to go out and do things or not. I was happy at home with them, I didn't have to go out unless I particularly wanted to. When I went to live on my own, I found that my desire to say no to doing things was reduced. I was doing more, going out more, because quite simply if I stay at home of an evening I see no-one till I get to work. I was also less interested in TV, I wanted to talk to people more - on social media or in person. I also feel like having to divide your time more between people is not just a relationship thing but an aging thing. As a younger person you did things in groups regularly. You would see people in large groups. As I get older, to get to see the same number of people I have to spend more time doing it because frequently with people's busy schedules I have to see people in smaller groups or individually. Sometimes I feel like I have to rush around so much just to keep seeing people. Those are my thoughts.
I've been in a relationship five years today (and now engaged, woo) but I'm still such an independent person that I know, fully KNOW, that I'd be the same person if I was single because before this relationship I was 'the single friend' and that kind of independence is so ingrained in me now that my own company will always be enough to keep me happy.
i have recently got into my first relationship, i have found a new best friend and he is a great addition to my life. i am glad i waited for myself to grow, know myself and become content with my life before i found someone. we are both ready for a relationship, and know we are for each other right now and couldn't imagine our lives without each other right now. i hope it continues and he is helping me realise things in myself which i could not discover independently. relationships are much more different to what i expected, i feel like i have acquired a new best friend who i just happen to have sex with and i think it reduces the pressure of things not growing organically.
Nice hearing your perspective about the transition and the importance of happiness in the single years. I've been single for 7 years, and though at times it can be tough when everyone around you is in a relationship, this time has allowed me to be introspective and figure out who I want to be/ am. I don't want to lose that when I get into a relationship, so it's nice hearing thoughts from people who were also very happy in their singleness.
I haven't got quite the same major transition from being single to being in a relationship again, but I'm more familiar with being single and like you mentioned, it does feel like being single is part of my identity/personal brand. Some of the time I've spent single has been very much by choice, because I have wanted to deal with internal (mental) challenges such as low confidence without trying to make a relationship work too. I've recently got into a long-distance relationship with someone I've known for a good ten years, and he's very much what I want in a partner, but it's tricky because if this hadn't happened, I would probably be avoiding dating at the minute. What I find quite tough is having someone asking me how I am every day, because sometimes I have down days and I don't really want to talk about it or have to try to explain myself. As it stands, my boyfriend and I have actually discussed this and he gets it, and his party line is very much 'you don't have to tell me anything, but I'm here if you want to talk about anything', which is great. It's also tricky, though, because when single it doesn't feel like I have as many down days, probably because I don't notice them as much because I'm not having to avoid telling someone that it's happening. TL;DR - relationships and mental health/self-worth/etc. can be a little challenging.
I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and we're still shocked every time one of our friends has a child or gets married, we're in our late 20s and this really shouldn't be a shock to us! I think it's just about finding a super chilled person that helps stop 'the fear' - we can't see life without each other but there's no pressure either, we just live together and are each other's next of kin at at GP (genuinely terrifying)..
👋 Well, well, well! You made it to the comment section. Can I hazard a guess that you…. LIKED this video? If you did, here’s a few nifty ones I’ve made that are similar:
○ Not breaking up with my boyfriend: th-cam.com/video/O0XsGNQ9fYM/w-d-xo.html
○ The Truth About Being Single: th-cam.com/video/v75AQPuxhPc/w-d-xo.html
○ Being honest with my boyfriend: relationships in your twenties: th-cam.com/video/ZA2pfyRB7as/w-d-xo.html
Hello you Ienna norms you fuking cool figure and sex cool figure and hannah witon you Perfect figurē Perfect day you and Perfect sex day you
Leena is such a good interviewer (which is kind of what she is here, with it being her channel and her being the 'compere'). She always lets the other person speak and never speaks over them or changes their point to suit what she was waiting to to say. I always notice this when she does collabs.
tbh she is hands down the most insightful and #woke and kind of any youtuber I watch and I adore her for it. add hannah to the mix and my brain explodes with joy :P
leena is an absolute gift
I am 23 and I have never been in a relationship so singleness is definitely my brand.
Singleness before the very first relationship and singleness after that/a relationship are so different, though.
Oh yeah, no, I wasn't saying that you're not officially single or anything, nor that post-relationship singleness is somehow better. It's just that there are different narratives attached to each singleness (interesting how "widowed" has a specific name). I guess I don't like the arbitrarily decisive, polar nature of the two categories.
I don't think there really is a difference, only that one's perception is different. At the very least they are probably learning what they like and don't like about being in a relationship.
You?! Never been in a relationship?! Wow! Because you're gorgeous! Obviously very independent too 😊
having basically always been single, i veer wildly between "single is great! I'm learning who I am! I'm going into adulthood knowing what I want out of life and that I'm defined only by myself!", but also "goddamnit what is it like to love just one other person that much?"
I really liked this video btw. It was just... so nice and friendly to watch, and interesting too, given my complete ignorance of the subject matter lol
Any happy single people out there who don't have loads of casual sex? I feel like this is always implied as being the best part of being single even though I personally have found it to be the least fulfilling bit.
Nobodysaknowitall I did a bit of that but I actually haven't had sex this year....😅 And that's been totally fine really; I agree that it's not nearly the most fulfilling aspect
Same
most single people don't have casual sex… it's kinda the definition of single to me, not getting laid. lol also, casual sex with semi-strangers..eww.
I've been discovering this too. The option to have sex with someone if I feel so inclined is lovely, but so is not feeling like I'm letting someone (a partner) down if I'm not in the mood for a long stretch of time. I just feel like I get to own my sex life rather than sharing it so completely with someone else. In my opinion, the most fulfilling bits of being single are the moments of solitude and the autonomy.
Me!
I appreciated the Oliver joke Leena even if Hannah didn't notice
Thank you for pointing this out. Also didn't notice. brilliant
RHYS GETS IT
omg i was about to say
I'm discovering this years later, but loving the energy of this friendship!
I love the point that you guys made about how since you were happy and content to be single it's not something that you're running from. I think that's really important to being in a healthy relationship.
tinybeast I totally agree. That’s why I always internally worry a little for serial monogamists. I wonder if they have found self love.
@@eibbore don't worry. those of us who've done the introspection homework are doing perfectly well :)
After an iffy relationship, I resolved myself to being single and started planning my finances around purchasing a home and told myself that if I would adopt and raise a child as a single mom. The next person I dated was the person I married. I think that time in between solidified my values and standards for myself and consequently, a partner, and that focused my vision to those who also were confident in themselves and their goals.
I’M THE JOHN THE BAPTIST HERE IS JESUS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
:D :D :D
this was amazing. Love it, Can we make this a thing?
Plot twist they're dating each other
lol argh yes pls :P
Hahaha leena at 6:42
"Oliver"
"Can we have some more" 😂 x
I dont get it.... What is it a reference to?
Keyholder oliver the movie
I'm in my first relationship as a 21 year old and find it chill & not too stressful. Before 8 months ago I had never dated & enjoyed being single. This relationship feels natural & I hope I don't end up fearing being single. We'll see I guess. :)
I can completely relate to this. I was single for 25 years, hadn’t really dated at all (the only people interested were not for me). Then I met a very chilled, laid back guy (my total opposite) and we’ve been together ever since. We moved in together very quickly but it’s been four years and we are still going strong.
Having recently made the same adjustment I enjoyed this IMMENSELY
I WANT. TO WEAR. HIS SKIN. I CANNOT
Who's the he? First i hear about it.
😘😘😘😘
I love this conversation and what you ladies went into, but what about the perspective of someone whose never been in a relationship and has always been single ? Especially when you have a general idea of what relationship is like based on friends, books you read, shows you watch etc but don't know until you're in one? For me, thats been my position, and so when I think of that, I think of wanting to experience a committed or serious relationship, being able to enjoy having a significant other and what that entails.
I'd love someone else's thoughts on this, especially from someone whose experienced a few relationships and has had long breaks of being single in between.
I was in a relationship for 7 years and have spent the last year being single and I'm loving it.. I made a video recently about staying single and loving yourself. I think this break from relationships will really help my next one, what you said about being scared about being single is so true, so many stay in relationships because they feel safe and comfortable even though it might not be the right person. Now I know that in the future I'm not scared to be on my own, I will be with that person for the right reasons.
The intro to this was fabulous 😂 I love you two together
You two are BUZZING in this video, it's the cutest thing. CONGRATS ON THE LOVE
i wish everyone could have the advice about having a period of your life where you're single and happy and using it as a safety blanket to feel secure and confident in your relationship. brilliant
also i went from 4 years single to now in a almost 2-year relationship aaaaand we live together so the transition has been crazy. especially since when i broke up with my previous ex i had such an amazing time being single and productive, so i always thought relationships were synonymous with laziness (!). have since learned that you can be in a relationship AND creative AND productive!
"boyfriends are like human coat hangers" - Leena
I loved this. It's really reassuring to hear that other people worry about/are hyper-aware of losing their independence/identity in relationships too, and that none of us actually know what we're doing and we just make it up as we go.. phew
Loved this!!
It's kind of comforting to hear that some people have taken YEARS between relationships as well. My last (and first) relationship was 4 years ago - in between those 6 and 3 years, you too did go on dates or hooked up with people though, right?
Because I haven't, and it feels like I just know absolutely NOTHING about anything ... relationships, intimacy, make outs, sex ... GEEZ, HELP
Lolz saaaame I've been single for almost 2 years, but that period has been absolutely empty on the romantic/sexual front (like not even kissing or flirting, just nothing), and I can see it going on for much longer since I just don't meet people. Makes me feel a bit weird sometimes, it's nice to know I'm not the only one! Also it was also my last and first relationship lol And I also feel like now I know nothing about nothing...
Anyway I really don't have anything insightful to add, just wanted to say I'm in the exact same situation and it's nice to not feel alone lol
I don't understand why people see hooking up while being single as almost mandatory. When i broke up with my first boyfriend i was so empty, I didn't see other people as "people", but rather as "moving furniture" and had no interest in anybody.
My current boyfriend didn't date anybody for 8 years, and it didn't make him a better or a worse person.
PLEASE talk more about internal sexism relating to "an i spending too much time with boyfriend", and just overall strong feminist identity in a relationship !!!
OMG I had never really explicitly thought of it as internalised sexism - can you explain/expand more? You mean like, we should feel like we can spend time with our boyfriends and it not be a 'feminist fail'?
@@leenanorms yeap! At least that is how I could imagine it
i first watched this video when i had never even dated anyone, and now i'm watching it again having been in a relationship for over a year and the happiest i've ever been! and actually i think alot of the comments you guys make in this video about what a healthy relationship looks like were extremely helpful for my anxious brain to bear in mind when starting to commit, so thank you both so so much!!
Loved this video, I related so much!
Went from a really intense (and not very healthy) relationship age 16-19, didn't ever consider being in a relationship again.
Got to 22, and to cut a long story short, I ended up being kissed by a friend on a drunk night out, sneakily dated him for 8 months after which time I decided it was probably going well, & let him meet my parents. Two and half years in, we're buying a house (which is probably the most unbelievable part of this whole story), and it's literally just like being with my best mate who also does the sex, ayyyyyyy
I commented on your "Truth about being Single" video about how I have not been in a relationship ever and lo and behold two months after commenting, I met my boyfriend. At first I was so comfortable with how my life was that a month in I had a breakdown about how I miss being single but I don't want to lose him (I was a bit mad) and now here I am having lived with him for a whole month and I could not imagine having anyone else here with me now despite the multitude of times I have joked with him about how I nearly broke up with him because I was scared of not being single. It is such a weird transition to go through but yay to us gals for loving commitment despite the previous acceptance and love for singledom.
Anne-Marie Dames this is so cute!
god i wish there were more people as real as you Leena, seriously so so rare...everything about you , how you interact, and talk, and listen, is so bloody genuine and without agenda or any attempt to present as something. You don't pause, you don't self-check, it's just all truth x
Love this video! I was in a 6 and a half year relationship from the age of 14 to 20. So they were really formative years and I was terrified of being single. It ended when I found out he was cheating on me, and looking back he was a really emotionally manipulative person. I wish I had seen it sooner. In saying that, things have worked out really well for me now. We broke up just before I started my final year of uni (big up Aberystwyth!) and I had THE BEST time. I was so incredibly comfortable in being single. I loved spending more time with myself, and also more time with my friends, I said yes to so many more fantastic opportunities, and I gained so much more confidence. In March I ended up going out with a friend-of-a-friend (or a few friends, because there are like no degrees of separation in Aber) and we've been so happy together ever since! At the start of the relationship I was like 'you know I'm leaving in a couple months, right????' and didn't want anything serious at all. I was also pretty convinced I wasn't suited to relationships, and didn't want one for a long time. But here we are. I've stuck around in Aber for another year and am working, trying to build up some money and then see what happens. It scares me that I'm willing to give so much for him, but I'm so ridiculously happy, and he really understands how my previous relationship has affected me. It was strange too, because I'd built up an identity of being the one who was really good at being single, and when friends went through break-ups they'd come to me for advice/empowerment/feminist feels, etc. This relationship was so unexpected but I wouldn't change a single moment of it.
I really love watching the two of you together! You're both so intelligent and put your points across so clearly, and you're both fun as well. Videos like this make my day.
I came out of a two and a half year relationship last week, so right now I'm still pretty heartbroken. It was the only relationship I've ever had, so now I have to learn to be single again. I loved seeing your transition, how you're both so happy now and managed to get out of the other side of heartbreak. I know it's going to take a long time for me, and I wish it didn't, but it's nice to know that I will get through it, and one day be happy again with someone else.
This was genuinely so interesting
Love this!! I got into my first and current relationship 2 years ago when I was 20 and in my 3rd year of college. It was a time when I had recovered from depression by myself, stopped going out of my way to find guys who I wouldn't like or who wouldn't reciprocate my feelings, and just felt genuinely happy and confident in myself as a person. So I met my bf when I was totally happy not looking for a guy lol. It honestly gives me so much comfort and benefits our relationship that we both went into it having been happy while single.
basically am in the exact situation as you two re: falling in love when being single is your brand. I am so happy you made this!! y'all are the best
“I am John the Baptist... heres Jesus” HAHAHHAHA THAT WAS MARVELOUS!!
haha when i first had a boyfriend i was just like "I WANT TO CRAWL INSIDE YOUR RIBCAGE" so i 100% get this
inkasongs I love this😂😂
I've been in a relationship for 4 years and was basically single my whole life beforehand (dated around but meh), and it's been amazing to have someone to grow with who is so supportive. I don't know- it's really cool to see other people's experiences as well!
I remember watching this when you uploaded. I was single and very sad, because all I wanted was a partner and I thought I lost you two in my team lol
Now I've been in a very happy relationship for about 6 month and I watch this very much in love and very happy. Funny how things change!
"single is a happy place fo me" wow I love that! its been a hottt minute since I've been single but I was right in your spot too having single being a huge part of my identity, its freaky now almost thinking about being single again
it’s lovely knowing these videos are about the people they’re both still with two years later!! 💞
"I want to wear his skin" wtf?! Hahaha so great!
I loved this video!
My transition was quite different, I had been single for 5 yrs and also had commitment issues. I had just moved city to start Uni and was so excited for the single life, then I met my bf and everything went so quickly, within 3 months we were living together and I started feeling panicked and feeling like I couldn't cope being single anymore but I love him so much I couldn't not be with him. I'm only now after a year and a half feeling more calm about everything and feeling productive.
I want to hear more of both of you talking about relationships. I think it is an endless subject. Great video!
Everything you are saying is me in my relationship now after being single for a while :) I'm glad that people are talking about this x
Can't relate, have been single for 23 years now #woo...?
Love listening to your girls. Especially the part where you talked about not being in a relationship because you're scared of being single. Such an important point.
LOL such a relationship person now
Amen to all of this video. Was single for 21 years, in a relationship for just under a year, single for another year and a half and now dating someone for just over a year. Do not think I could have been in this relationship without my single time and yes got so much more serious so much faster than any other relationship.
It's my birthday today and i asked my only friend to go out with me and she said she can't because she's sick and later posted pictures of being outside. So now i'm basically crying since the afternoon but you two cheer me up so much! I have depression for two years now and on days like today i also listen to the podcast over and over and it makes me feel so much better. SO THANK YOU LOTS ❤
Happy birthday! Kick your friend's ass as a present to yourself :)
Happy late birthday! Take care of yourself and hope you have a nice weekend.
Ruth Croft thanks haha :D
beeenie thank you, i hope you'll have a nice weekend too:)
I’m reading this a year later and I hope that this girl is now your ex-friend and you had a lovely birthday this time around. Sending you a belated hug 🤗
after perpetually being in a relationship for 2 years, after my last breakup, i felt like life wasn't as interesting or fun for the first month or two. i wanted to be in a relationship. but after those couple of months, that feeling went away.
the thing i struggled most with in the transition was not having someone be the default person i tell everything to, someone who always knows what's going on in my life. i struggled with feeling like my friends didn't listen to/care about what i was saying as much as a boyfriend would. i've been single for 2.5 years now and i'm totally chill with it. i'm totally open to being in a relationship but not actively seeking one out
I'm glad to see you both so happy! There's nothing wrong with being single, or being in a couple, as long as you're happy with where you are. :)
Recently went from getting out of a mutually detrimental/borderline abusive relationship, embracing my singledom, and finding the first person I've ever truly loved. My current bf and I moved really quickly through the stages and from the getgo I was concerned about whether or not it was acceptable to allow another person to reach into my life and become my best friend so quickly. Especially with regards to trying to retain my independence and also properly showing respect and love to my bf. Trusting my gut and going with the flow just worked for me, the risk was so worth it.
I've been in a relationship for a year after been single for almost my whole life. It was weird getting used to this new "situation", I expected it to end any minute. After a month I was like "nice, still here...", after two months "oh, ok, it's still going strong...let's see how long it will last". And now, after a whole year I'm so happy and relaxed about it. :) yay for boyfriends (but also yay for being single because it's so nice, too! I'm so fine being with myself)
Love you two!
xx
Update please
I'm like the opposite of you guys. Since my first serious long-term relationship I kept jumping from relationship to relationship. And I'm finally at a stage(I've now been single for 9 months) where I'm happy being single and I can say no to people when they ask me out instead of jumping into relationships that aren't right for me. While I enjoyed being with the people I dated, looking back, I knew it wasn't going to last between me and my partners just because I didn't feel about them how they felt about me. It was kind of unhealthy, but I realise that now and I finally have come to terms with just going about my life and I'll meet someone when I meet them. Rather than trying to force myself to like people who show an interest in me.
So interesting! I'm 24, in my first relationship and didn't even really date until the last couple years. All of my friends are either frequently in relationships or still in their long single period, so it's great to hear how you've made the change and how much I can relate to.
The most surprising thing to me is how easy it is (so far, 6 months in) because my friends who have dated a lot always warned me that being in a relationship is such hard work and I've heard all these struggles over the years, but with my partner it almost always just feels natural.
I've been dealing with my single identity on and off over the past few years. I've been single pretty much my whole life, so by the time I was in my 20s it really became an identity for me. But then even as I got to the stage where I was ready to try relationships, I kept seeing myself as single and kept not seeing the relationships I was in as "worth it." Like, it was easier for me to be single. Now I'm at the start-ish of a relationship again, and I feel myself hesitating again and looking back at the independence of singlehood. Basically I feel like a mess and admire the stage you both seem to be in
As someone who has been single forever but has recently gotten a boyfriend in lockdown I really enjoyed this
"I'm the John The Baptist" - yes, me
I really enjoyed this! I never had a boyfriend in high school and definitely prided myself on being the fun single friend, then got into a relationship just before uni and have been strangely serially monogamous since then (though I have been with my current boyfriend for almost two years and am so so happy). I always thought it was weird, because my school friends had only ever known me as a single, good time gal, and my uni friends think of me as someone who is very much a girlfriend. I don't know if it has that much effect on my identity or how I see myself, and being single for so long also helped me feel ready for the commitment of a relationship. It's good to know that you can be happy alone and that you're with someone because you want to be, not because you think you need to be. Wishing you both all the best for your relationships and glad to see you both so happy :)
I'm so glad that Hannah brought me to your channel! You are both extremely fab 😊
THE FEAR is so bad, especially as a 22 year old. My boyfriend and I have both had a few relationships and leant a lot from them, and once we met it was so clear from the start that we work as such a good team! I know that I've met my best friend who I want to spend my life with but can't help worrying often about how massive that is and how young we are. I know only time will tell and you've just gotta go with the flow
This was pretty interesting to hear because I'm also quite the serial single-person; I've never had a relationship but I think I've pretty much gotten through the period of my life (re: most of high school and college) where am just desperate for a relationship to a really unhealthy point. I'm okay with being single, but I think its also quite different from your guys' experience because you were both in very deep relationships before singledom? I literally cannot imagine my life with a boyfriend in it, but I guess that may change. Or not. We'll see. Anyways interesting/great video guys :)
Ah my two faves! Loved this video. I can totally relate to the "single brand". For years I was the single one until I started hooking up with a guy from work. A year later we're in a relationship after a lot of ups and downs and it took time but like Hannah, we had to schedule time in but it works! Can't wait to hear more of your love endeavours!
Neither myself or my partner of nearly 3 years now were interested in being in a relationship together when we first met and decided we would be "casual" almost 4 years ago. Basically fwb. Well lo and behold we did indeed catch the feelings, and so when we decided to get together it wasn't so much to be in a relationship for the sake of being in one, as much as it was we wanted to be in a relationship with each other. We're both pretty independent people and I think knowing that we both would do fine single but are happier together kind of helps build a sense of trust in each other. Because I know he wouldn't be with me unless he wanted to be and vice versa if that makes sense. He's my brick and I love him.
This actually is so interesting, when you say about "single time" and that you needed it. Because for a long time, I sought someone, maybe to complete me or fix my sadness but now i'm sort of realising i need to be happy or try and be by myself. Would love to see a video on that subject x. Great video!
when you make the vid about being single, im not, when you vid about not being single, i am. Why u do dis to my brekken heart
I found Hannah on TH-cam years ago and only recently found you Leena, you two brighten up my days so much!
P.s when can I move to the UK once covid is done 🥺
Looooved this please do more 'duets' with Hannah ☺️
I liked how you talked about how before you thought you would crave new experiences or flirting because thats something that im struggling with
I love this video because now I am married and when I first met my husband I was a little nervous about meeting someone who was so perfect for me. I love how you both said you were happy being single because I felt that way too. I wish you both the best in your relationships.
yall are so good! I love that yall are having these conversations I totally haven't seen these conversations in other places even though its so needed!!
Oh you're both disgustingly happy and it's great!
I'm currently in the single is my brand stage of things, but maybe I could be in a relationship if I ever did things that let me meet people XD
I completely identify with this. I met my (gulp) fiancé and it got seriously really quickly, which freaked us both out, but it's just been so easy. I liked being single, especially after a serious relationship ended and made me question myself, but I like this more. I know I am in this relationship because I want to marry my best friend, not because I am scared of the alternative.
I very intensely enjoyed this
I used to tweet a lot making jokes about being single and lonely, because every so often I'd have a 'Feeling Single Evening' where I just wanted to let everyone know I wanted cuddles. I recently started dating someone and I had one of those evenings and it was such a weird realisation when I remembered 'Oh wait I don't have to tweet for romantic validation I can just MESSAGE HIM.' It was great.
Also, being in a relationship when you're both online people is WEIRD. I just want to let everyone know that I'm dating this great guy but I CAN'T because there's WEIRD DYNAMICS and PRIVACY and that. It's stressful (but the best kind of stressful).
Oh but as much as I complained about being single, I didn't really have a problem with it. I was single for 18 years and it was mostly a chill time lol (I even made a video once that was like 'I've been single for 18 years and it's OKAY')
I'm so glad it's not just me who says that I want to get in my partner's skin! People think it's so odd but thank you for making me feel slightly more normal!
I had never really been in a serious relationship before my current boyfriend and everything you guys said just resonated with me as someone who was always the single friend to now being in a great relationship
I loved this! I am incredibly single and I often think of how I would be in a relationship. Very interesting, fun, & cute video!
It's so interesting hearing other people's experiences with dating. I have been with the same person for 11 years (this December) so I can't remember what single life is like LOL.
Marigold Witch wow! May I ask how old you are?xx
Ruth, hey I'm 26 (I'll be 27 in January) My boyfriend and I met during my sophomore year of high school (he had already graduated), 2 months before my 16th birthday. We've been together since December of 2006.
Everyone we meet is always surprised that we've been together for so long but sometimes you meet the right one when you're young.
Marigold Witch that’s so lovely. Yeah definitely I met the love of my life at 15 but I’m only 19 so we’re just at the start of our journey together❤️❤️ we got married this August xx
Marigold Witch definitely, I met the love of my life at 15 but I’m only 19 so we’re just starting our journey together, we got married this August❤️❤️ my birthday is January too xx
Don't have MUCH to add because I haven't been single for 6 years, and I was 17 at the time... So I was a different person then. But weirdly I do relate to the whole knowing you can be happy single thing. I did know I could be happy single. and so even though I will most likely never know what it's like to be single again (as an adult). I'm ok with that.
I'm in my first relationship at 22. I thought single was my brand also. We've been together a year now and it's amazing. Being comfortable in my singledom meant that I didn't try to enter a relationship for the sake of it. I didn't know someone could matter this much to me.
TwT I'm loving having this much Leena in a week and Hannah's presence is such a nice throwback :'3
I had always been in a relationship from basically the time I started dating at 15 to about 2 years ago. During that time the longest I had been single was about 7 or 8 months. I spent about a year and a half being single which was very much needed and had been a goal of mine. Single life was a great learning time about myself. I took a solo trip to Europe, and really took control of my work life and accomplished many great things. This past January I entered into a new relationship and we are very much committed. I am living away currently going to school so we only get to see each other every two months but its kinda nice cause I get to live like Im single for one last time.
I've been single for almost 3 months now after a 3.5 year relationship. I hadn't been single in a long time and I am so happy I decided to give it a go. Like you talked about, I now know that single is a happy place that I don't have to be afraid to return to. That being said, I feel like I want to keep being single for a while. Relationships don't sound appealing to me at this point because I'm not open to giving someone that much time and energy, and I want to know that I can be a fully functioning adult without having a partner!
Lol I'm 18 and I've never been in a relationship so I don't know what it'd be like but I do get annoyed about how my brother spends most of his time with his girlfriend and makes adjustments for her but not for his family who he still lives with
Iv been single for 6 years it’s been tough but am happy to not rush into anything. I need a friend like you Hannah lol
Earlier this year was the first relationship-of sorts I had formed in my adult life. I noticed a similar sudden self awareness of the time I would need/wanted to carve out each day to communicate with this guy, having had all my time to myself previously, which was an interesting transition. Unfortunately it didn't last very long (his decision, his loss) and I suddenly realised how much time I'd spent with him/talking to him in those couple of months so I booked a couple of holidays and started a tap dance class to fill my newfound free weekends and weeknights! Hard not to be "on the lookout" as I am so aware it happens best organically when you least expect but as one of the few singles in my friendship group, it can get pretty lonely at times.
On expectations vs reality. Man is the media a warped and twisted place for representations of healthy long term relationships or conflict resolution. It really isn't about the dramatic ups and downs that could make or break you, but the fruitfulness of every day spent together and the consistent effort it takes to remember that.
I SEE THE GOOD CHARLOTTE MERCH. IT MADE ME SO HAPPY❤️
Have been waiting for this video! Nice to see you are both happy and comfortable 😊
I've not really had a relationship but it interested me that Hannah talked about the way in which she wasn't as urgently seeking new experiences or new ways to be happy now she is in a relationship. It reminded me of the opposite of what happened when I moved out of my parents house aged 30, having lived at home since I finished university. I didn't realise till I moved out but I already had company all the time in my house when I lived with them, so it was more of a choice to go out and do things or not. I was happy at home with them, I didn't have to go out unless I particularly wanted to. When I went to live on my own, I found that my desire to say no to doing things was reduced. I was doing more, going out more, because quite simply if I stay at home of an evening I see no-one till I get to work. I was also less interested in TV, I wanted to talk to people more - on social media or in person. I also feel like having to divide your time more between people is not just a relationship thing but an aging thing. As a younger person you did things in groups regularly. You would see people in large groups. As I get older, to get to see the same number of people I have to spend more time doing it because frequently with people's busy schedules I have to see people in smaller groups or individually. Sometimes I feel like I have to rush around so much just to keep seeing people. Those are my thoughts.
I've been in a relationship five years today (and now engaged, woo) but I'm still such an independent person that I know, fully KNOW, that I'd be the same person if I was single because before this relationship I was 'the single friend' and that kind of independence is so ingrained in me now that my own company will always be enough to keep me happy.
This video looked like so much fun!
i have recently got into my first relationship, i have found a new best friend and he is a great addition to my life. i am glad i waited for myself to grow, know myself and become content with my life before i found someone. we are both ready for a relationship, and know we are for each other right now and couldn't imagine our lives without each other right now. i hope it continues and he is helping me realise things in myself which i could not discover independently.
relationships are much more different to what i expected, i feel like i have acquired a new best friend who i just happen to have sex with and i think it reduces the pressure of things not growing organically.
Nice hearing your perspective about the transition and the importance of happiness in the single years. I've been single for 7 years, and though at times it can be tough when everyone around you is in a relationship, this time has allowed me to be introspective and figure out who I want to be/ am. I don't want to lose that when I get into a relationship, so it's nice hearing thoughts from people who were also very happy in their singleness.
I can't believe how much I relate to this video. So topical. I love this!
I love this and thank you this really helped me process my own relationship you girls are great I wanted many more colabs of yous
OMG OMG LENA is that a Good Charlotte t-shirt??? 😍😍😍
Totally feel ya, feel like my relationship works so well because I had time to feel happy in myself and develop my own interests/passions
I haven't got quite the same major transition from being single to being in a relationship again, but I'm more familiar with being single and like you mentioned, it does feel like being single is part of my identity/personal brand. Some of the time I've spent single has been very much by choice, because I have wanted to deal with internal (mental) challenges such as low confidence without trying to make a relationship work too. I've recently got into a long-distance relationship with someone I've known for a good ten years, and he's very much what I want in a partner, but it's tricky because if this hadn't happened, I would probably be avoiding dating at the minute. What I find quite tough is having someone asking me how I am every day, because sometimes I have down days and I don't really want to talk about it or have to try to explain myself. As it stands, my boyfriend and I have actually discussed this and he gets it, and his party line is very much 'you don't have to tell me anything, but I'm here if you want to talk about anything', which is great. It's also tricky, though, because when single it doesn't feel like I have as many down days, probably because I don't notice them as much because I'm not having to avoid telling someone that it's happening.
TL;DR - relationships and mental health/self-worth/etc. can be a little challenging.
Thank you to the Gumption Club member who reminded me that this exists!
Also I can't believe this is 3 years old 🙀
I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and we're still shocked every time one of our friends has a child or gets married, we're in our late 20s and this really shouldn't be a shock to us! I think it's just about finding a super chilled person that helps stop 'the fear' - we can't see life without each other but there's no pressure either, we just live together and are each other's next of kin at at GP (genuinely terrifying)..