How to Deal With LUXURY JUDGEMENT
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EXPIRES 5th AUGUST 2022 at 23:59 UTC
Hello friends! This video is dedicated to Shelley and Cherylina who have both written to me recently as they want to use/enjoy their items, but feel judged.
These are just some of my thoughts on the topic ☺️
Really, this goes for anything though (not just luxury). You might travel a lot and be judged by family/friends for that.
Let me know your experiences and what has worked for you!!xx
Sophie, thank you for this video. I really like the part you say, "TRY NOT to worry about what other people think." I've encountered many people IRL and youtubers who say, "don't give a f***" about what other people think," "you do you," and all the fiercely worded attitudes. But the truth is that we pay attention to what other people say and think, and sometimes we get bothered by that. I think having that sensitivity/awareness to what's going on around us makes us social beings. Thank you again for your grounded advice.
@@nikkiwakatani 💯 💯
Can totally relate 2 this. (Even though being male...I don't wear 👜 /Jewellery.) But I do get it based on my career goals or the time I spend working 2ward them. I find that reflecting it back 2 the person on s'thing they do/enjoy...really works.
▪︎ So I mite say 2 some1..."U travel...I buy ⌚️s 🤷🏼♂️ - One all" 😅
▪︎ Most folk have s'thing u can link it to: Beauty treatments, 🎁 they spend on a (usually undeserving 😅) bf, Eating out, Home decor, Latest📱 always, 📚, Mag subscriptions, Concerts/Festivals, 🐕 or 🐈clothes & accessories, Fresh 💐, Fragrance...even High Street Fashion 🤷🏼♂️ | They might spend £200 on budget brand clothing. If u prefer to have 2 mid-market tops...or even 1 high-end one...u can ask how that affects the clothes in THEIR 😉 wardrobe.
▪︎ Ultimately...u can come back with "💰 being the equivalent of time." We all have 24 hrs in one day. So why would they judge how u spend urs? Any more than u would theirs...🤔
Its funny because i get judged by family members who didnt want to study, they chose to have a big wedding, spend money they didnt have, then spend their parents money to wear 3 wedding dresses, then get pregnant, then buy a new car. I get judged because I bought myself a Birkin 🤣🤣🤣 I am single, no kids, high earner in my late 30s, always paid everything for myself including uni and a second hand car, i have 0 debt and my only obligations are 3 lovely pets. I support my family whenever I can and are generous with gifts to others but hey i am the target of their “how can she spend 4k in a bag?” No, honey, booboo, cha, i spent well over 8k and i am living my best life 🦄🦄🦄 They are jealous cause they believe they cannot achieve what you have. I feel inspired by women who have better homes or cars or whatever than me. They are the proof that i can achieve those too 💪🏻
My mom worked in a nursing home as head nurse of her floor for 40 years. The amount of stories she has about residents on there deathbeds regretting things.
NEVER REGRET DO YOU
Great video.👍
I've had the same problem with couple of my friends. I always ask them why they're so concerned as I'm not spending their money but my own. Once my friend got on my nerves so I decided to calculate how much she spent a year on cigarettes. It came up to about £3k. Then I told her " this is exactly why I can afford my bags and you can't. You literally burn your money" .
It's so sad that I get lots of compliments on my designer gear from strangers but not my friends. 🙄😐
You are my absolute favourite TH-camr - I am not well off, but work hard for my money, I don’t have any children - I have been told ‘how could you justify that bag? I could buy so many things for my kids’; or, ‘how hasn’t your house been repossessed with the bags you have?’
I am sick of it, my bags are my happy, they make me feel so genuinely elated and I have so much joy from them. Nobody knows what I went through trying to have a baby and the thousands spent on IVF, the utter heartbreak and despair. I am living my life for me ♥️
Hello lovely Julia ☺️ people can be very judgmental 😔 I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this. Enjoy your items my friend! Hugs xx
I travel a lot and get the same. They don't realise they can afford it as well but make other choices.
@@tuttuttut7758 💯!!
They are jealous of your bags.
This video really hit home with me. I'm self employed with my husband and we have done well. We both grew up in families who couldn't afford luxury items. I always aspired to do well instead of being mean and jealous of other peoples accomplishments. My friends always made unkind comments if I wore a luxury bag. It really bugged me for the longest time and you know what? Turns out due to Covid they really weren't friends. We have quietly parted ways. It was a hard thing to take, but it was for the best. I wear my luxury bags, shoes and clothing proudly and have reached how to other friends who do not judge me at every step of my life. Thank you Sophie for taking on this topic.
Bravo! Well said.
💯💯💯💯💯 I feel you!!! Good job getting out of those toxic zones 🫣🥳🥳🥳
I'm so happy for you and can fully relate, you deserve friends that doesn't judge you.
So happy that you managed to move on to ppl who truly value your friendship. Life is too short for us to deal with ppl like that xoxoxo
I simply ask them "Are you paying for it?" If they give me a snarky comment, I just tell them that my real friends understand. Ha! I have no room for negativity in my life.
I can personally only afford 2nd hand luxury because I'm a part timer . I purchased a Prada bag 2nd hand and for me it was totally worth the $. If people wanna judge thats fine but it really boils down to what you want to spend your money on. Some people spend hundreds on cigarettes, fast food, alcohol, etc. These are items that are gone within a few hours and my bag will last me many years
Exactly ❤️♥️
People are so casual nowadays so whenever anyone looks put together or like they dress intentionally, it makes other people uncomfortable. I wear my nice things in the house and out. Why should we dim our light for someone else? Why should we set ourself on fire to make someone else feel warm. When we dress well it radiates and elevates us and we attract more beauty because that’s our vibration. I’m going to dress each day and enjoy my beautiful clothes, shoes and everything else. Plus, I think when we are ourselves, we inspire other women to be themselves.
I love this. Thank you for sharing.
It’s almost always about the other person and their issues. They’d be judging you just as much no matter what you wear, as long as they feel insecure. The designer item is just an easy thing to target.
💯 💯💯💯
yes!
I have two girlfriends that used to tell me for years every time they saw me with a new lux bag: "I don't have it my heart to spend over $1,000 on a purse!"... LOL those same two girls bought their first LV bag a couple years ago and when I saw them with their new bags without me saying anything they automatically said "It's only our first and only luxury bag!"... yeah right I thought to myself lol... of course I didn't judge... Now they get several luxury bags a year and I am happy for them but especially for me because they won't be able to make comments about my bags anymore lol :)
Several luxury bags a year is a bit much... their credit cards must be hurting. I guess if you’re already rich it doesn’t matter in the end.
I made a personal rule. When I go downtown I must spot something nice on someone I give them a compliment. I must do this at least once.
What a sweet lady
@@nancywang6919 Thank you! You made my day.
I think people are just jealous as to why they judge or say mean comments about people wearing luxury brands. I personally don't buy them, but i always compliment other girls when they do, when they wear something I think it's cute, luxury or not.
Hello lovely Diana! I’m exactly the same as you, I’m normally looking at the person thinking WOW!🤩 Hugs to you my friend xx
I think some people are just more inclined to be jealous (as a personality trait) than others too naturally
You are sooo right Diana!!! I agreed. Jealousy is just not a good trait. Whyyyy would we care how others spend their money?? I personally feel very empowered by a lady who takes care of herself, who knows how to look great and feel even better. I support that and would most likely give a compliment to the person!!! But some people are just bitter 🤷🏻♀️
Criticism isn’t jealousy. A lot of these people are tone deaf, materialistic brats. Calling them that doesn’t make someone jealous - that’s such a grade school insult. We shouldn’t be applauding mass consumerism at the feverish rate it exists at now. The amount of waste clogging our air and oceans is disgusting. Stop legitimizing this lifestyle!
Yes, they can't be happy for others!
I was lucky to get my luxury bags from my mum, as she just doesn’t wear them anymore and only kept a couple, leaving me with both her classics and amazing LE pieces. However at 23, I do get judged a lot. Every job interview I have to plan what to wear and reach for my Longchamp pliage, as I don’t want to provoke by wearing designer clothing, bags or accessories. Once I made a mistake by wearing a MaxMara coat a little too early after being hired, which is not eveneasily recognizable if you are not into fashion and my boss was immediately triggered. I kept getting remarks from him the whole winter. Once I mentioned I was cold and he immediately shot at me something like:”how can you be cold in a 3 thousand euro coat”.
I luckily got a better job after that and now I just lay low for the first 3 months till I get a bit older 😅
Oh what a horrid boss!!! That’s awful.
What an idiot, he should be minding his own business. Glad you have a better job now!
Oh wow your boss is a horrible and jealous person, I’m so sorry you have to experience that.
Yes agree about the job interviews. I’m interviewing now and never bring luxury bags to an interview, I have some nice Coach and Rebecca Minkoff bags that do the job very nicely!
I want to be judged on my experience, not because I carry an LV bag…
There are no words... ;) I had a sister in law like that once. Her opinions meant a lot to me back then. Now? Oh, bark out loud! Divorcing her brother was the best thing that ever happened to me...
🤣🤣🤣
I had an interesting experience with a family member just this past weekend. She tries so hard not to be jealous, but it often gets the better of her. After spending a few days with her it’s obvious why I’m able to afford a moderate amount of luxury in my life & she is not. I could judge her on what I personally perceive to be a ridiculous miss-management of any & all resources at her disposal, but we’re all entitled to our own choices, so let’s just say I’m grateful for my education, my parents & the wonderful mentors I have had the privilege to know & learn from & leave it at that.
I just realized why I haven't worn the first designer item I bought months ago out till now, because I am afraid of the reaction from my friends. But like you said, we're not going to be here forever.
Right! They buy a dozen mediocre bags (which money-wise adds up to about the same price as a designer bag), and yet they get jealous of my one good quality bag... for which I scraped and saved for years! They are the ones with problems. If our present income is not the same as it used to be and they comment about our luxury items, they don't understand that we had purchased some items when we could afford them. People just talk! They are jealous! They don't think! I avoid people with that mentality.
Sorry you were discriminated against for raises because of your attire or handbag. I’ve actually had the opposite happen. I was later told that wearing my Louboutins heels to a job interview got me a sales job. Another male employee noticed I had red bottoms. He texted the hiring manager during the interview and said hire her. She successful if she can afford Louboutins. She’s also probably very motivated to sell to afford nice things. I also wore louboutins to another job interview. I dressed successful and got the job. If you’re in direct sales, wearing a nice watch, driving a luxury car and wearing designer shoes is almost expected. I’ve had clients say they bought from me vs other competitors because I looked successful.
Agree in some professions your personal image is important. Though sometimes it can be a negative in that people don’t think you need your raise or bonus because you look like you have lots of money already
@Sandra R - I love that story, thank you for sharing.
@@Skyebright1 In your observation, does this happen to both genders? I’ve worked for two major corporations in the US and Europe and thankfully I’ve never experienced this “luxury” discrimination before when it comes to raises. Raises are based on your performance ranking.
I agree with the sales comment. It’s a sign of success and also shows you’re doing something right. I worked in sales and now have my own consultancy business in aesthetic medicine and it’s the same here. Customers and I admire each other’s looks. The happiness of the exchange between us makes me think that maybe there are less and less opportunities to enjoy nice things currently because of the cost of living. We are made to feel guilty so when someone appreciates our look we feel accepted again.
@@Skyebright1 I think the real issue is gender pay inequality. There is more unconscious bias or conscious bias that a man needs more money to support a family.
I’m known to overdress.. and I love my designer stuff. When people ask me about my outfit or make comments about my designer things.. I always just tell them that it makes me happy.. and then I would ask then what makes then happy.. eventually people just expects me to wear nice things and accept that I’m just on my own path to do things that brings me joy. I think when people make judgement is because they don’t understand.. when I share with them how this things makes me happy.. I think it helps people to focus on their own happiness and goals.
These same people think nothing of dropping thousands and thousands of dollars on fancy cars, designer watches, jewelry, tickets to sporting events, memorabilia, etc… yet criticize when someone wants to carry a designer purse… smh🤦♀️
Agree people spend their money on different things, just because it’s a bag doesn’t mean it’s any different
For me, since nobody else wears luxury I find if I just pick one thing to wear with my outfit that’s luxury and the rest is fast fashion, I still feel like I’m being luxurious and classy without being over the top and I don’t feel that I stand out in a bad way
Perhaps the worst example I have ever seen: two people having a major tantrum over designer items. They were walking by Gucci and made derogatory and abusive comments about the people in the queue. They were talking to each other, but loudly enough to ensure they were heard! It was all about them, not the people in the queue. Whatever their fixations, the behaviour was about them, not about the people they were abusing. For people experiencing issues with the family, I suggest making out a Will with specific provisions about your luxury items. Make sure the haters don't get them.
Thank you for the video!
Gross, seriously if you have to insult people in a shopping queue you have issues
Such good advice, Sophie. It's been hard, but over the last couple of years, I've started challenging a family member who would point at my bag or clothes and say "how much was THAT then?" every time we saw them. Being asked why it matters to him has pretty much stopped him in his tracks! 🙌🏼 Have a fabulous weekend lovely 💕 xx
WOW, that was REALLY rude of them, and they'd have to be cave people not to know it. Sorry you were subjected to that!
Thank you@@miriamhavard7621, I suspect he is something of a cave person! 🤣
It’s extremely rude to ask anyone how much something costs. Wow!
@@ALT-vz3jn I agree! 💯
It depends on who I am with and where I'm going. I have friends that can afford different levels. If I'm with some that are not into fashion or the best they can do is something from Walmart/Target, then I don't wear/carry anything expensive. I don't want them to feel that I'm trying to show off and I don't want them feeling like they are missing out because of their situation. Same thing when visiting family. I've heard it in the past from them the one time I brought my Birkin. Between the never ending bitching and others wanted to put their hands all over it, nope. Never again. Friends that are mid range fashion, I keep that in mind as well and those that are into the luxury brands, I got that covered too. In general, I keep clothes simple. Usually Converse Chuck Taylor low top sneakers, cowboy boots or flat sandals, jeans and an easy top. I just change up my accessories depending on the situation. Sophie!!! Can you do a dos and don'ts of traveling with luxury? Should anyone travel with expensive items if they are going on vacation and doing touristy things? Safety and concerns etc. The last time I was in EU/UK, I was so thankful to only have my Travelon crossbody to use as my daily bag. I don't think I would be able to enjoy my trip if I was constantly having to look over my shoulder all the time if I have a lux brand bag...
I often get compliments on my designer items. One time, though, a woman asked if my LV bag was fake. I thought it was an odd question, considering it wasn’t monogram canvas. It was empreinte leather.
At least you weren't asked if your breasts are fake! Bets were being made and money exchanged. True.
I refused to answer. Which was taken as a Yes. Unbelievable really. People are so small minded and invasive.
PS I do not have fakes of either type. But that's not the issue.
She just couldn't stand the fact that you had one, and soothed herself by suggesting it was fake.
@@miriamhavard7621 Nasty! People can be so casually nasty and then delude themselves they are being civil! So much unconscious behaviour.
maybe she didn't know empreinte leather exists?
My bags are part of my joy, why should I not wear them? I work hard, save and get them…I even know which part of wardrobe they will look great with. Honestly, my luxury pieces have lasted more than 20 years and I still wear them and they look perfect. Of course, everything has a moment, you wouldn’t wear luxury items when doing certain chores. If anyone comments, I just praise on the quality and durability and how good investment they have been. Most of the time, they do think about it and understand.
Hello lovely! Yes I get you, to most of us these bags are from working and saving hard. It’s a shame to not be able to enjoy them 😔 your tip on gently telling the person how durable and long lasting the clothes have been is a great idea. Hugs xxx😘😘
I’m 39 and i really want to buy a designer bag. Nobody in my circle has one and they all say it’s ridiculous that i’m going to spend a large amount of money on something like a bag. If gone trough a lot in my life and just want to do what makes me happy bit still a huge step to actually go and buy one. How silly is that?!?
@@Esther.1983 I totally get you Esther, if it’s something you really want to you you should do it 🙏❤️xxx
@@Esther.1983 I bought myself a designer bag for my 40th Birthday and funnily that seemed to make it more acceptable. It was a Mulberry bag that went with everything. I later sold it when my husband was made redundant. I never regretted buying it or selling it when I needed to. Once in a while I think everyone is allowed to spend their money for happiness. People spend money on all sorts of things that I find ridiculous like expensive audio equipment, exercise equipment (that often never get used) or holidays to overcrowded theme parks, but I keep my opinion to myself and hope that this brings them joy. 😅
A start traveling 15 years ago and buying art and nice design furniture, bought a apartment ( didn’t have the budget before)....but oh men....the backlash i had from my own family....I worked my ass off for what i have and without using credit in any shape or forms.....love the topic here....it’s important to talk about it.....because I’m still feel ashamed sometimes.....
It's simple, don't give a rip what people think. I don't and I wear luxury everyday. 😎
I have no time for jealous and petty people.
Yes I think this is a fantastic motto! Hugs my friend xx
Brilliant! I wear my bags on my weekly food shop and i just don't care. I've worked hard for them. It's their problem, not mine.
Not if they are close family members.
dude, I will wear my LV or Chanel to Aldi and not think twice about it. :D
I have good designer envy. When I see somebody in something designer, I look at them and go wow, I love that. Literally I'll be drooling all over them, going I want that. Seriously my motto is, if you work hard for it, you deserve it. Good on you.
I think it’s absolutely ridiculous to judge anyone on what they spend their money on. My sister and her husband used to get sly comments from workmates because they had 3 holidays a year-but they chose not to have children! I work with lads who spend thousands each year following football-season tickets/travel/away tickets etc, others who spend all they have on their house. If you’ve earned it, spend it and enjoy it! It’s all harmless so bugger anyone who judges!xx
Agree people spend their money on different things, I don’t think just because it’s on fashion that it should be criticised
@@Skyebright1 I think you’re absolutely correct-whatever anyone chooses to spend their money on is their business, I’ve no idea why people feel they have the right to judge or make horrible comments-it’s lovely to see people enjoying what they’ve earned x
Always sticky subject! I experience the same feelings to be honest from time to time. I have recently bought myself a new bag that I absolutely love and I was planning to wear it this weekend for a friend's birthday party. But then I started to doubt myself: 'Should I wear it?', 'Won't it be too much?', 'What if people think that I am flashing off?'. But you know what, sod it!. I worked damn hard for it, saved my money for it, I didn't steal it from anyone else. I should not be ashamed of my hard work! I never understood the comments about spending habits 'I would never pay this for a bag bla bla bla'. Well you wouldn't but I will. Let' me decide what I want to do with my hard earned cash! I can do whatever I want with my money; I can burn it in a garden, wipe my bum with it or buy a bag! End of story🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
hahahahha I love your comment! spot on!
Oh Sophie…you’re the BEST!! Even though I’m much older than you, I aspire to be a bit more like you in your attitude to simply embrace the things that delight us as individuals. Thank you on behalf of so many of your subscribers for inspiring us in such a beautiful and classy way ❤️❤️❤️
You’re so kind Shelley! Hugs and love to you my friend xxx😘😘😘
I wear my designer bags to work all the time and I am really happy that I am having a normal working colleagues. As a team of engineers I am the only woman in the team and guys usually don't have any idea about luxury goods. They still think that my Speedy in monogram canvas is my most expensive bag because they think LV is super expensive. So even when I come with my Hermes Kelly they have no idea what that is. They know I like bags and my boss tells me whenever I get raise or bonus that I can use it to buy more bags. :D
It's usually someone's jealousy, envy, or lack of self-esteem that makes them scrutinize another's possessions. That said, there ARE those people who seem to have luxury goods and are always complaining about being broke...which means they have a money management problem or shopping addiction. I think your policy of toning down what you bring to the workplace is a smart one. I once had some lovely jewelry that I wore to a job that was eyed by an envious co-worker and commented on several times by her. Strangely, right around the same time that was going on I had my home broken into (the alarm stopped them from getting anything), and I think the two events were related. I stopped wearing the jewelry to work, but also sold it because I was concerned of future thefts. It's always smart to not be a target for theft or assault.
I work mostly with men so never had comments. The few women friends I have don’t care about bags and we don’t discuss them. I really think it’s a misogynistic issue. Have you ever heard of someone coming up to a guy going “ how much was that Porsche? Are you sure you can afford it?” Because it’s mostly women buying luxury bags the judgement is another way to make them feel insecure. And I’m not going to pander to that. I won’t wear my bags if it’s impractical for the situation or they might get dirty .. otherwise it’s fair game!
I 100% agree! Misogyny at it's finest (AKA worst). Men can buy expensive watches, shoes, and cars, and they're congratulated. But let a woman carry one designer bag, and she's suddenly "shallow," "snobby," or "wasting her money."
@@smilesawaityou6155 This is spot on! Don’t forget expensive cigars, golf trips, boats and throwing money away at strip clubs.
Thank you so so much for this video!! I have been struggling with this ever since moved out of my country to study in the UK.. people do have assumptions, and they do not see the hard work most of the time that has been put it! They see the trips that you have earned yourself and the materialistic things, but maybe ignore that you’ve had two jobs at the same time, being away from you family and friends! But it is true people will have opinions and judge you regardless.. you dress fancy they will have an opinion, if you dress low maintanance they will also have an opinion, so might as well do whatever you want anyway! The Gossip doesnt define you, if anything it speaks of WHO they are as a person, and if anything it makes me sad for them! ⭐️ be happy be you❤️
I am embarrassed about my luxury shopping. I think much of it is pandemic related with a side of justification I have create for myself. I do not feel the judgement from others as I never discuss or wear anything that is branded. I am on the complete opposite of the discussion side. When I go out I do not take my high-end bags with me, not because I worry about what people will say, but it is the internal shame I feel about owning these pieces. I think much of the push back from others really depends on who your friends and family are because they can either be with you on the ride as shotgun or be the backseat driver.
Most people are addicted to luxury, but not fashion. There is a major difference. If all you buy are logos and nothing is about the cut, design, textile, or creative art, then you are most likely dealing with an addiction and not an appreciation for fashion (meaning take away the bags and logo items, would you still buy the product?). We need to acknowledge that sometimes people on the outside giving critical feedback are not always with malicious intent or jealousy, sometimes they're saying things we need to hear. Self reflection is important.
I think the bigger issue here is why women allow themselves to be subjected to this disrespectful judgement and why do we feel required to dim, change or explain ourselves for acceptance. Do men get questioned or ridiculed for their suits, cars, electronics, golf membership or sports team season tickets? To have these things is an expected representation of their success, and they wouldn’t tolerate it. As a retired professional minority woman, I earned the right to wear what I deemed professional be it luxury or not, AND also be compensated for my WORK & TALENT. We don’t work for free and my funds were spent however I saw fit. How you carry yourself teaches people how to treat you, and whilst I have no doubt negative people have and frankly always will think things about me, they never said anything to my face because of how I carried myself with confidence that I had the right to be there, dressed well and ready to produce excellent work. At every stage and age of my life I expected to be treated with respect and never dimmed my light. There is a saying “dress how you want to be addressed” and to dress for the next level UP on your career path. My experience of always carrying myself according to MY standards made me stand out from the crowd. My bosses respected that I was both a polished, visual representation of them/the company and also a very capable employee. As women we need to stop caring so much about pleasing others and own our space. This is what I have taught my daughter as my Mum taught me, and what I share with those I have mentored. Show up to the world with self respect & dignity. Have your own requirements and standards. And if you feel the need to minimize yourself it’s time to get a new boss/job/partner/friends/family. We deserve to enjoy the fruits of our labour unabashedly.
Karen, or Darren: Why are your bags so important to you? You could have bought a bag at Target for a lot less!"
Me: "Why do you need a Tesla, when you could have bought a used Volt/Vauxhall Ampera for a lot less?"
While I don’t own luxury, I’ve been watching your videos since the beginning when you used to do makeup tutorials, and I’ve always admired the way you approach owning luxury. I don’t have the kind of lifestyle that lends itself to luxury, but I do enjoy putting outfits together with new and secondhand items. It’s become a game to me whether people can guess what’s *new* new, new to me, and items I’ve had a while. I have been quite sick for a few years now, and one of the last things I have left to me is the sense of adventure and expression from dressing up. I have faced a lot of judgment because those who have disabilities are expected to be quite frumpy, no one wants people like me owning nice things, they don’t care how you got them. I don’t care anymore though. I’ve only got this one life, the life I’ve got ain’t much, and I refused to accept criticism especially on behalf of friends and family over it. No one should have to justify what makes them feel good if it’s not harming anyone else.
Jealousy is so lame. Thank you for sharing your stories.
Sophie this video couldn’t have come at a better time. I recently got a new job and it came with a promotion, the first time I’m a manager of people and work. I’ve worked hard and have earned my spot but I’m very conscious that I earn more than people who have been there longer but are a lower grade. I’m not a logo person but still aware if someone recognises the item and cost of it and judges me for it. It’s funny because when I was earning less and admiring luxury only if I saw anyone with luxury I would start a private conversation to admire it.
Totally true. I get uncomfortable sometimes and don't wear some items around certain people, because I know they will say something...usually a "compliment", but it's the unnecessary inspection that bothers me....or there are those that look you up and down and you can see they are calculating what designer you are wearing and how much it cost 🤣
I’m in an age where I just ignore others. I do me. My vice is clothes & lux bags. I just tell them they have their own vices which can be or is completely different from mine. At the end of the day as long as my kids are safe & healthy, I don’t think about the haters. 😃😃
Me too ❤ I finally reached the point of doing and wearing what I want. Life is short!!
Besides the fact that I really like them, one reason I switched to premium and designer brands is quality and design (of course, not every single designer brand or item will be something of quality, but that's another discussion). I didn't really understand this until I became a copywriter, but nowadays, it's very hard to come up with new designs for clothing and accessories. So when a brand manages to do that, or they have a line that's instantly recognizable (like the Rockstud line from Valentino that encompasses a multitude of products, for example), I want to buy the original, not knock-offs of inspired items; it's my way of paying my respects to the designer who came up with that idea. As a copywriter, it doesn't feel nice when I see people copying my work, so I'm guessing designers feel the same way (the same goes for musicians, painters, etc.).
So, if people are rude to you and put you down because you buy designer, you can turn the tables on them and ask them why they encourage an industry that is built on intellectual property theft (among other things like child labor or pollution). I don't want to encourage answering rudeness with more rudeness, but those who judge should realize they're not so "perfect" either.
Love this comment! I’m in the classical music industry where artists thrive on perpetually complaining how they should be earning more and how no one respects their professional output and yet they don’t think twice before consuming knock-off and counterfeited content form other industries.
These days, we are all being judged all day long by absolutely everybody. Wear what you love and don't let anyone stop you from wearing your nice things. Everyone is some sort of victim and everyone is being cancelled. Be who you want to be and enjoy life. If you can afford designer, you are truly blessed.
Interesting topic - I heard an expression once somewhere, 'opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one', remembering that makes it much easier to care less what others think.
Even when I was not wearing designer clothing to work, I got judged. I always dress nicely to work because working is hard, by dressing nicely, I got motivated to work. But my colleagues don't think so and last year, when I had to leave the company, the comments were out. The vice chairperson made a comment like oh, not everyone's hard work got appreciated just like not every beautiful girl got chased by guys. I know it's directed at me because there were only she and I in the room. Now I get my new job and I will still dress nicely (it's just club Monaco and Sandro, it's not high end brands, some of them I have had for about 10 years) For me, I always imagine and ask myself, if it's the last day of life, what kind of clothing would you wear to die in? You know, everything can happen in our life, die looking good is important, because I do believe in the underworld). For designer bags, I usually don't bring it to work or for casual social gathering. But for jewelry, I always wear VCA and I feel that jewelry will get judged less.
When it comes to wearing expensive jewelry at work, I recognize it. But it's not as stigmatizing as before because so many copies are made that people don't know if it's genuine. But regardless, I still have to keep a low profile so people don't get jealous.
Sometimes I get really paranoid but then I realize the places I work in Hong Kong and Singapore, designer goods is too common and I don't need to stress about it.
Thank you so much for this video! I’ve been judged by my best friend of 18 years for my love to luxury items. Every time we met, she would ridicule my designer sneakers or a bag, or even accessories and suggest that I save money to buy a house or a car, rather then spend it on luxury items. I tried to ignore it, but it came to the point when we stopped being friends and seeing each other because even the thought of seeing her and being judged again made me feel uncomfortable.
Actually, there’s some truth of yr friend mindset. But look, everybody is different. If she thinks it’s better to save to buy house or car. That’s her mindset. But i do see girls who just don’t have wise mindset. It’s going to get them into financial trouble in the future. As for yr friend, she can offer you her wisdom, but not bullying or judging you ❤️🙏🏻
Right! One thing is to share an opinion, another thing is to make your friends feel ashamed or uncomfortable for things they love and enjoy, especially if they earn and spend money on things that make them happy.
@Zulfiya Lancaster - Be thankful that she's out of your life. She was never a true friend. Many people say during difficult times we see who our friends are. I disagree. It is when you're well that those friends will show their true colors.
@@5Heliotrope You are right! It’s better to avoid toxic relationships.
@@5Heliotrope yes, both are true!
Hi Sophie. Agreed with your thoughts and advices. Similar to you I don’t wear noticeable designer items to work since none of the staff in our team are in to designers. But, my boss who is an English man always noticed whenever I wear designer clothes/shoes or carry designer bag. And that’s because his wife is into high end designers. So far he hasn’t been unfair to my comp/promotion. I’m lucky ☺️
Great video Sophie. Good advice and encouragement for young women. It is toxic behavior and happens at the work place, neighborhood gatherings, just with small minded gossipy people all around. After all, It’s your money.
Hi Sophie,I'm proud to carry my bags I worked hard for and enjoy them.
Kaylhee!!! I hope you’re having a lovely week? I’m just in the kitchen with David right now, trying to figure out what to have for dinner.
I ABSOLUTELY agree with you, we work and save so hard for these bags - it’d be a real shame to keep them in the wardrobe 😕 Hugs to you my friend xx
@@SophieShohetOfficial thanks,hope you and David are having a lovely dinner 🍽
Thanks for this Video. ❤️❤️❤️
I just bought me a vintage rolex datejust and I love her. I'm 42 now, I wear my stuff as much as I can and I don't care.
I wear mine too 24/7 and even to the office. It was a birthday present to myself in 2021. Life is too fleeting not to enjoy it everyday and every moment considering it’s cost.
Yep. the judgment is real. A very good friend worried that my 'vanity purchases' were damaging my soul as a Christian! 😳 Ahem. Well, I don't recall any Epistles, parables, or injunctions against wearing decent clothes. BTW, the parable of a camel going through the eye of a needle is frequently misinterpreted. The "eye of the needle" is a gate in Damascus, and a camel could enter by kneeling and bowing its head. It was intended to be a parable of humility, not a call to poverty! so I continue to cultivate my prayer life and work hard on being humble and generous - and wear a good-looking handbag! Love your content Sophie, keep up the good work!
I guess that friend is suffering heavily herself from at least one of the original 7 sins😄
Thanks for sharing! I had no idea the meaning of that scripture! Sounds like your Christian friend needs to worry about coveting thy neighbor.
@@sandrar6670 😋 Thanks! I feel validated.
@@KsenijaCelner It makes oe wonder...😉
People are wrong to be openly judgmental about things you own, but it's also generally important to recognize the time and place for designer items so you don't "cast your pearls before swine" or make good people in your life feel insecure about things they might not ever be able to afford. If you buy designer items, by all means enjoy and wear them, but you should still be mindful about where you're wearing it or around whom. In my case my family does not come from money and I used to be in the mental health field and would do home visits with low-income families. I'm someone who likes wearing clothes that make me feel polished so I feel good about myself and command respect as a professional, but I knew it would be in poor taste to wear high end items around people who struggle to make ends meet, so I save those items for weekend wear and special occasions. (Not that i even had designer things at the time, but multiple clients and colleagues would notice even just nice Macy's level items that displayed the class differences between me and my improverished clients.) Everything has a time and a place, even things you work hard for and feel good about. People shouldn't negatively judge you for things you can afford or choose to be frivolous about, but this is still human nature. Everybody comes with their baggage, and mindfulness can help minimize instances of mutually-caused negativity.
Or maybe nice stuff would inspire people who don’t have it yet.. it does for me! I loved seeing people with Chanel and LV when all I could afford was Coach lol
@@kateg1570 For some people, sure, but, no, there are just certain people and types of acquaintances wearing this sort of expensive item around just isn't and will never be appropriate.
People especially my relatives and coworkers are the one who judges me the most. Like they always ask me “how could you afford buying these things?”, and I always tell them everyone has their own priorities.
Y know River Island handbags are really stylish & good quality! Ok not luxury like Chanel, but defo a look.
These are my favorite videos from you. These life advice with luxury and work tips! More videos like this!
I completely agree!! I’ve been raised to work for the things I want. I try to focus on enjoy my blessings and being thankful for them and ignore negativity.❤️
So excited to see this video Sophie! Luxury guilt, shame and judgment are a real thing!
I remember years ago when my husband and I were invited to his boss’ house for dinner, and I stupidly wore my one carat diamond ring and earrings, it affected his promotion in the company. I always felt that as the wife was ogling my jewelry. My husband said nonsense, but I know. Anyway he left soon after.
I liked what you said about wearing designer clothes to work. I would consider that in the future. But the point about the judgement is that many people just have different priorities. And if you do have kids the choice is always to rather save for them. Another consideration I liked of someone, who actually used to buy a lot of designer staff and at some point of time reduced it to a minimum: money you earn is actually the equivalent of the time of your life, that you will never get back. So basically you can calculate how much time of you life every designer item has cost you (price/your pay per hour). That is the time that you could have spent with people you love, at places you love, doing other things, that you love. Realising that makes me rethink every purchase I make. Because, as you said it right: we will not be here forever.
Ugh I’ve heard it all. “Why are you trying to be someone youre not?” - that’s the most common comment I receive. Why cant I like what I like? People are so judgey. I fell like asking “Like why do you care so much? You’re not paying for it!” Lol
I wear my luxury bags to work. Everywhere I go. I’ve experienced judgment at my current job. I agree with you. I aspire with I see others doing well. Life is short- judge away. I work hard & I like what I like. My Mom always carried herself well and was a great role model. My family & friends are so supportive. Their opinions matter most. ♥️
Thank you so much for this video Sophie! I guess I needed to hear your pep talk.
After working and saving money for a few years, I recently started to buy some designer/luxury items. Usually accessories with a more classic and elegant style, no big logos or monograms to avoid attention.. Sometimes just items from nicer brands. Still, I rarely use most of them, because I start to fear some type of judgement or start to feel guilty (if that makes sense). And I LOVE those items.
My immediate family does not really judge me for it, but I'm still very selfconscious. My best example is with a normal brand. The first time I bought a pair of Levi's jeans, my mother started freaking out, "it's so expensive" and all that. Then after a few minutes she calmed down and supported me "you deserve nice things, you should wear nice things, ..." And it repeats with anything more expensive than fast fashion (growing up, my family struggled a little). Some items 🕶💍🧣🧤... were ok since she did not know they were designer. Others are still waiting in my closet😢
I bought my first designer bag a couple days ago and I've been so anxious over it arriving and other stuff.
Your video and your words arrived at the perfect time for me. Thank you 😄
Great video! And it may not even be comments about what you wear, but what you do for your vacations, buying a car, etc. Yes, it's more about them and not you. I think a lot of people are very jealous of others who succeed. My husband and I used to travel a lot, we wore nice (but not extravagant) clothing, regularly bought new vehicles, and I can't tell you how many times we got the "must be nice to be rich!" comments from friends and family. Uh no, just careful with our money. Love your attitude on this kind of stuff and yes, life is too short not to enjoy the things you've worked hard for just because of the hang-ups of others. I've also come to the realization that those who can't be happy for your success don't deserve your energy.
You are so right Sophie! We work hard for our money and we save it and we buy the things that we like and make us happy. We don’t owe anyone in explanation about anything. If they are that caddy to make comments that are negative about something that we purchase that we truly love and they probably are a friend anyway
I really love this video! Nowadays I don’t care if someone make comments about my clothes or bags. It used to bother me but not anymore. Most of the time those people are just jealous and insecure. It’s my earning money! I do WHAT A WANT with it lol! 🤷🏾♀️ I’m french and it’s even worse here. If you dress a certain way people will judge you no matter what. “Why are you showing off? “Why this why that”
There is always a taboo about money in France. I wear luxury designer clothes sometimes (Saint Laurent, Balmain, Dior, Gucci…) and I just love dressing up cause it makes me feel so good, beautiful and confident.
I can’t be bother lol I’m turning 30 soon and I’m enjoying my life to the fullest 💁🏾♀️
Love from France 😘
You’re such a wonderful person, Sophie. Just wanted to let you know that all your advices helped me so much in my carrier and I want to thank you for it. ❤️
Another thing I would recommend too is to review the necessity of your relationships with these people. If they are people who don't like others to be better than them, it's likely that this is not a mutually beneficial relationship. Or they have a critical view of life that will inevitably rub on you.
Personally, I've "hidden" all my negative friends' posts on facebook and I continue to actively do that. I also try not to associate with people who are negative about their life or gossip too much about others. It makes me a better person and gives me time to be myself, and I hang out with people who help build me up as a person, people who genuinely care about me, where we can have a great time sharing ideas, where we can help each other. This might sound materialistic, but I find it great for my own mental well-being. I remember many years ago I was in a toxic company where people would spend most of their breaks gossiping and targeting other people. Soon enough, I started to be like that too. When I quit and went to another place, I felt so much better as a person and about myself. I'm not a saint, so I find that the best way is to surround myself with the right people and situations that stop me from being what I don't want me to be.
And be proud about who you are and what you own!
Great points!!!xx
That was great advice and a great video! I love luxury and wear all of the time I do not feel judged at all. My nieces love to go shopping with me and have started to love designer handbags also.
Sophie, this post struck a chord. I love luxury and I work my butt off and have the financial means to get it. But after getting an LV speedy for myself and the backlash I experienced from everyone I just can't stomach getting anything else. My parents were angry that I didn't give them the money instead. Some family members don't say it directly but give me " the look" if I wear it, want to windowshop items when we pass a store or even compliment someone else on an incredible bag or item they have. They just think its frivolous, narcissistic, and a symbol of low self-esteem. Normally I don't care about the opinions of people that are outside of my family but my families reactions and comments cut deep. It just sucks that I work so hard and inexplicably love these things that make people so crazy. I guess I'll just have to keep admiring from afar. 😑
I sometimes tell people how my Lux items are actually copies and have cost 10 times less than the real thing. The relief I see on their faces is priceless 😄it also usually stops any further questioning as they would immediately assume my stuff is fake. But a true connoisseur will always know at the first glance and those are people who themselves enjoy luxury and won’t be inclined to judge you but to compliment you instead.
Why are your parents entitled to your money? That seems rather abusive
@@Skyebright1 Entitled is probably the appropriate term for it and yeah I agree it's not a healthy dynamic. That being said there are a lot of factors at play that make this a rather pretty common sentiment in my community (and quite a few others) especially if you are a first generation child born in a "good" country. I don't like it that some people in my family act this way but I understand its roots. I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate it so everyone or at least I am happy.
@@KsenijaCelner Ha! Something to consider!
Thanks so much Sophie for discussing this topic! I totally agree that you should wear and enjoy the things that you worked hard for in life! It is really just the other person's insecurity and nothing to do with you! I send them good vibes and wishes and keep moving!
All my life that I was judged on my clothing. The funny thing is that is was all Zara with some exceptions that were from brand but non high end stores (not even designer). I was told that I looked as if I was well off. Preppy. Arrogant etc What do people want?
Such a great topic and great points thanks for sharing 🙂
OMG 🔥 Thanks so much for sharing this with us. This has has really helped me and blessed me. I will start enjoying my purchases.
Great content and advice. I have had a lot of jealousy in the past from both friends and family, this trait was however a small one in comparison to the bigger issue, that these people never wanted to see me happy, in fact they hated it, but expected me to always be there and cheer Them on and celebrate them. It took me years to realise and finally let go of these toxic relationships. I know this is an extreme example and most people don't go through that, thankfully. After struggling with depression I'm now in a happy and free state, I can afford whatever I want and most importantly I have amazing people in my life. I do dress up when I go to dinner and such things, (but I wear nothing too extravagant for work) since me and my significant other does not have children. Life is too short not to be happy, I wish everyone a life filled with happiness.
Thank you so much for sharing this Karin! And I’m so glad you’ve found better people. You’re so right, it really is a shame when you’re made to feel bad and like you have to tone yourself down in order to please others 😕 Hugs xx
I dress to the norm or down, I don't mind, I do wear my bags to work now, but my vintage bags don't get judgements, people actually compliment my bags that show age, nobody says a thing about my newer bags. I think that vintage lv is just awesome and I guess others do too.
Hi Sophie! Thank you for the video.
I feel like luxury is quite a lonely hobby. Not everyone is interested in it, and those who are, many often aren't able to afford it. Strong feelings also comes with it. Its difficult to find someone to talk to about it without touching on some insecurity from both parties and the whole conversation becomes about the person's insecurities rather than the item itself.
Do you guys experience this? Starting a conversation about a handbag and suddenly, its talking about $, or how its on a discount, or how someone "would never spend that much on a bag".
=/ I just wanted to talk about the bag.
I was faced with the same dilemma about two years ago. I realized I only have one friend who is interested in leveling up and having nice stuff so I suggested we start our Secret Level Up Club. We meet twice per month and have different topics of conversation and we encourage each other and compliment on the way.
@@KsenijaCelner omg thats sweet!
What a great video! You shouldn’t apologize for your own success.
Oh my.. family is the worst at this. They seem to think they can have an opinion on what I spend my own hard earned money on, but on the other hand I cannot tell them their kids don´t need a trillion expensive toys. To each their own is a hard concept to grasp for many people.
Working but still watching at the same time!!!
Hi Thelma!!!
Hello Thelma and Jill! Love seeing you both in the comments ☺️❤️ Thelma - I hope your work goes well ☺️ Hugs to you both xx
Great vid! Wear it & own it! And compliment & admire others! You said exactly what my late dad used to say ‘they are only jealous Loo!’🥰
I always worry about what others think. This was very helpful Thank you 💗
I can relate to this video. Mentally exhausted having coworkers making snarky comments on my designer bags. So I end up dressing down at work or wearing subtle designers like Celine and Loewe.
It's a pretty good sign of a narcissist when someone is envious like that.
Thanks Sophie. Amazing video! Really needed this
Hi Sophie, I saw your video a little late but it really hit home with me. Recently, I had a funeral to go to. I lost my cousin to brain cancer and it was raining terribly, so dressed in all black with a pair of Louis Vuitton shoes and Louis Vuitton bag, I CERTAiNLY was not trying to be a fashionista. This is just what I wear. Never gave it a thought. I was not decked out in Chirstian Louboutin's with red soles and bright colors. A few of my cousins made snide remarks. One told me I was going to "die" next because I am underweight and she also said: "what are you wearing? that MC stuff?" I imagine she meant MCM. I just said "no, Louis Vuitton." OMG! it was awful. Anyone reading this my advice to you is YOU BE YOU. Wear what you want and be proud of who you are. Just don't be a clown in the supermarket.
It’s so fun to wear beautiful things .. I just make sure it’s appropriate for the situation..I have earned my lifestyle.. however there are always people that will comment.. I think it somehow makes them feel better at the moment.. but probably they aren’t happy with themselves. Nothing they can say will change me . To each there own.
I have an issue with this too! I end up not using my beloved items, not posting pictures, not sharing them anywhere... At the end of the day it kinda makes me feel like I don't have anything, but in reality I do! Idk, such a weird feeling... It's something I definitely need to overcome. Thank you for this video Sophie, I love when you touch these kind of topics!!! Much love xx 💖
Hello lovely!! It totally is ‘first world problems’ (I know!) but it’s such an interesting topic - and a topic that has an impact on more of us than you’d think!🤯 Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences xx😘😘
My hair stylist told me that if someone comes in wearing a designer bag, they immediately increase the price of the service! 💰 Be aware of this! Maybe save your designer stuff for going out only.
Hi Sophie. ♥️ Happy Wednesday. I am sooo happy for your new video. I hope you and David are doing well.
Ahhh, what a lovely comment! Thank you Melissa, I’m really honoured that you watch you know! ❤️ David and I are good, just sorting out some dinner right now ☺️ Love and hugs to you my friend xx
Put downs will only increase now because of the economy lately. I am starting to feel more and more uncomfortable dressing up as of late
Unfortunately, I'm one of those people who are disappointed when they hear certain inappropriate comments. I don't judge anyone and I would like others to do the same to me. As far as I'm concerned, everyone can do or wear what they want, but always with respect for the people around them. I don't have many opportunities to go out for dinner or for a drink, so I also wear luxury clothes or accessories to work, otherwise when should I wear them? This doesn't mean that I'm rich or a spendthrift! Like you, Sophie, I have no children and I work hard, I manage my money well and therefore I can afford good things. Among other things, it has often happened to me to be judged "elegant" even when I wasn't wearing anything "luxurious", just because I have good taste and I had matched some "high street" items in a nice way. These comments hurt me a lot, but this will not change my way of dressing, much less my way of being.
I love this topic Sophie! Agree! Go out and enjoy your things :) enjoy life to the fullest.
Designer or non-designer, my grandma always judges me on every single item possible. I swear, I wore a 15 euro dress to my parents’ place, she still made a comment on how much money I spend and how many clothes I have like!?!?!? As if I am spending her money 😒 I wouldn’t even dream of wearing a designer bag to see my family, it would absolutely spoil my love for the piece.
You're such a lovely and kind person..thank you for your sound advice