burnout diaries | I'm not lazy, I'm burned out | this is what burnout feels like...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 พ.ย. 2022
- Today's video tells my story of burning out - what it looked like, felt like & why I think it's so important to talk about work-induced stress and mental health. It's a personal story that I'm proud to be here to tell. Please like and share if you enjoy it, and feel free to leave a comment sharing your thoughts/experiences/stories - I'd love to hear from you. Thank you for your support each week, it truly is so fun to know what you think of my videos each week! Life is wild and I'm so intrigued to see where this next chapter takes me. Subscribe to join my journey into the unknown, if you haven't already :) Sending love to you, take care of yourself.
Link to Mental Health UK: mentalhealth-uk.org/burnout/
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What is 'rewilding'? I explain in my first video here: • Rediscovering myself a...
Hi friends! 🥰I am so excited to share this video with you because I am really proud of the way it turned out. 😀 It was my first time trying a voice-over of my writing, and somewhat magically it turned out when I was speaking to be exactly the same length as the video I shot and edited! I really hope you find value in this story and I'd love to hear your thoughts and related experiences in the comments (as ever!!). Please don't forget to give it a thumbs up too - thank you for supporting me each week, it means the world! Sending love your way. Charlie xxx❤
You should be really proud it turned out beautifully! You have an phenomenal way with words! Thanks for being so open and sharing your experiences! Looking forward to your next video! 🥰
@@slowlyfindingmeaning Wow, I'm so delighted you enjoyed it and thank you so much for your super kind words 🥰 Writing is such a joyful and healing exercise for me, even when it's about tough subjects, so to hear the words resonate is really cool ☺Excited to see you in the next video! ❤
Hi Charlie, this is so great thanks so much for sharing.
I was just thinking about our convo the other day and this certainly resonates (ND or not) xx
@@laurynmonahan108 Thank you for watching and listening Lauryn - and completely agree this is something all humans experience in one way or another! I'm still working on picking apart how my burnout was affected by my autism. Sending love 🥰
There are days when sitting up is such a burden, I would just laying in bed and mindlessly scrolling on my phone, specifically avoid anything require critical thinking. Eating, bathing or even talking are hassles that I don't want to do or don't have the energy for at all. I keep yelling at myself for "being lazy" like that and not being productive with my day. But in reality, I'm being at my worst, draining and exhausted, desperately trying to turn off from being burnt out for a long time mentally. Thank you for making this, I feel seen and heard. Wish that society could be more understanding with people that experience burnt out and stop categorize us as "lazy people".
I couldn't resonate more with what you have shared (and, by the eay, thank you for sharing). I really hope that by sharing our common experiences with burnout we can learn to heal our harsh inner critics ❤️
God loves you and He wants to have a relationship with you start by believing Jesus paid the price for our sins on the cross and repent He can give you so much love, joy and peace💕
Thank you for seeing me and for acknowledging that it is okay; I am not lazy or weak. I am exhausted and completely burnt out.
God loves you and He wants to have a relationship with you start by believing Jesus paid the price for our sins on the cross and repent He can give you so much love, joy and peace💕
Whenever I even mention burnout to my family the only response I get is; 'Oh, everybody has burnout these days! People are so weak now, the previous generations never got burnout.' And that's why they don't know how I am really doing. I found out I'm audhd this year and I have been in burnout for years. Now I understand why. I hate that they think I'm weak when I've had to fight so hard to keep my head above water my whole life. If anyone has any tips how to deal with this I would appreciate it.
I'm in exactly the same position as you. It is really difficult when the people you live with don't believe you and think you're just acting to get attention or get out of doing things...
Older generations (like parents) are like this. The data shows that we work harder and longer then that generation did. We also are more aware of mental health then them. If you can remove yourself from that unsupportive environment that is vital. My family are ignorant like this too. I needed up moving out because they don’t deserve me in their life if they won’t educate themselves.
I found this video today right when I needed it. I’m 23 and feel completely overwhelmed/ constantly in a fight or flight state/ can’t give myself a mental rest from my job. Thank you for promoting this message and from now on I’m going to prioritise my health over job. ❤
That is such a powerful decision to have made for yourself izzy, I'm cheering you on!!! ❤️
God loves you and He wants to have a relationship with you start by believing Jesus paid the price for our sins on the cross and repent He can give you so much love, joy and peace💕
Thank you so much for this! Its been 1y 3mo since I quit my corporate job and I just started a new part time. Even though I feel way more aligned with this work environment, my body still responds very badly to feeling tired, so today after my 1st week working 30h/weekly I broke down and cried, afraid I would never be able to hold a job. I know its just a transition and i will adapt to the pace but still takes a lot of discipline and determination to trust my healing journey, stick to the routines that lift my wellbeing and not compare myself to everyone else already thriving in launching their careers. I'm 25
Thank you for sharing this video, I feel less lonely after watching this. Everything you shared describes exactly how I have been feeling the past 8 months trying to recover from my burn out. Despite being surrounded by kind people it's been a lonely journey and it takes a lot of energy to describe to others what it's like. The world and its systems are not made to understand or support burn out recovery, standing up for myself and taking time is very tough but I know it will be worth it.
This massive burnout/depression I am struggling through has led me to believe that I may be a 46 year old undiagnosed ASD/ADHD female. The more I am learning about this the more I see myself and my life. Being 2 years into this almost feels hopeless and I often have a desperate desire to escape this life (which is not an option) but now that I think I have some answers, I hope to find Hope. Thank you for sharing. Much love xo
My heart breaks reading your message because it's just so REAL to me. At one point I felt completely hopeless but the self-knowledge and understanding via my ASD diagnosis has helped me to find hope in small places that over time adds up to a new way of looking at life and how I want to operate within it. I know it's impossibly hard, but it seems like you are in the process of connecting the dots and I have so much hope for you that it will lead to happier times ❤❤❤❤
So important!!! Thank you so much for making this video and making me feel less alone and like no one gets me or understands even a little bit. Burnout is something NO ONE is talking about and taking seriously. When I tell people that no I am not better yet, that no, I am not going to school, no I am not applying to jobs - I cannot function on the same level you are, nobody gets it. Nobody knows what to say to me when I tell them I am burnt out. And when I warn pthers about the dangers of this (“you dont want to end up like me”) they dont take me seriously and they just continue on in their toxic workplaces and keep ignoring the reality. All this to say thank you for talking about burnout and being autistic, I also got my autism diagnosis at 22 after burning out and I am so glad to have you making content so I can feel like I am on the same journey as someone else.
Anita ❤️ thank you for sharing part of your story and the struggles with burnout younare facing. Whilst reading your comment I was nodding along as if to say 'wow Anita is inside my mind!'. We seem to have such shared experiences/challenges of burnout (as evidenced also by the other comments on this video) and yet still feel so alone and misunderstood. I hope that by all of us sharing our experiences we can normalise it and prioritise it the way it needs to be taken seriously. Sending you love! ❤️
Charlie, I don't know you personally, but I am so proud of you. You are doing such a great job listening to yourself and what YOU need. It takes a lot of courage to take the road less traveled, but you know, just as I, that that road is much better for you. I recognize myself in what you tell in the video. I'm only 25, but I already had 3 episodes of burnout in my life. I'm slowly beginning to understand why that happened. It is so so so important that we collectively learn to listen to our bodies and learn to rest. You are a part of that movement and I admire you for that. You do you!
I loved reading your comment Lisanne, thank you for sharing part of your story too. It makes me so hopeful to hear you're working through the root of your burnout and at 25 I just know you've got so much abundance ahead of you on your journey to creating a life that enriches, not saps, you! It's definitely not a straightforward path, as you say, but one I believe will reap rewards in our personal health down the line. Lets keep talking about the importance of rest and tuning in to your bodies, and in the meantime keep being you! ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. I'm going to share it with our youngest who has been struggling lately with her depression and anxiety. She told us today that she wants to quit University and get a job. (we're supportive of her decision). I think hearing your story on burnout may help give her the boost she needs to start taking steps in the direction she wants to go. (there is only so much mom and dad can do or say - sometimes you have to hear it from someone else). Thank you again!
I am sorry your youngest is struggling with her mental health ❤She is lucky to have your unconditional support of her choices and I hope this video provides value to her in some way. Thank you for sharing in return, and for watching!
Thank you for sharing! ♥️ Such a recognizable story. I too said farewell to a career (in media production) with 10+ years of experience and no clue to what would come next. This was on the verge of a second burnout (I didn't get my body's message the first time). So glad that I did step away for good but I couldn't have done so without the support of my amazing husband. Now, 2,5 years later, I can say that I'm truly happy in my work as a self employed artist.
Anouk! This is so wonderful to hear, and terribly inspiring! Thank you for sharing. It is reassuring to hear stories from others who are a little further down the line than me... Thanks ever so much for watching and listening to my story ❤
Thank you for putting into words every single thing I've been struggling to explain to those around me after quitting my career. It's been over a year now and people do expect or hope for you to get back to your old self and go and enjoy life again, but it really isn't that simple. You do lose a huge part of who you were before being burnout, and no matter how much I've tried to return to those standards, it's only made me worse. I guess it's all about letting go of the past and becoming a new person and accepting this change in yourself. It's so difficult, because it looks lazy and hopeless in the eyes of your family and friends, which then convinces you that maybe you are just stuck in a slump that you'll climb out of later. Burnout is a mental health crisis that should be taken very seriously, because without help it can be horrific to live with. Thank you for bringing awareness to people living with burnout and depression. This video helped remind me that I have been through a lot over the years and that my empty moments throughout the day have a route cause that isn't selfish or lazy. Bless you xx
Thank you for sharing. Burnt out here as well, not working and trying to heal. It was not easy to even get to the point of a having a break. The amount of gaslighting and doubts from others. Im still not able to more than one 'tedious' stuff and im struggling to feel useful. Thanks for letting us know that it can get better. One step at a tjme.
Wow! It's like you were speaking the words right out of my mind... It's like what I haven't been able to explain to people around me who think that I should just be able to 'snap out of it'... I hit a wall a few years ago after many years in a high stress career and I've been slowly 'rebuilding' myself since then. I often get frustrated that the progress isn't faster and that the improvements aren't always constant... there's been more setbacks than I had envisioned. However I think that once I accepted the fact that there's no quick fix to recover from burnout (and also being incredibly grateful that I'm ok financially to give myself that much needed time) that I've been able to be more patient with myself. What a journey! Thank you for sharing yours!!
Wow right back at you! I'm reading your comment and nodding along! It's amazing to hear you describe your journey, and for it to feel so similar to my experience. I am so happy to hear you are able to prioritise yourself and look after yourself, even though that can be hard some days. It's definitely a roller coaster, but im hoping that the learning over time compounds until eventually we are more calibrated than ever with our bodies and minds! Thank you so much for sharing part of your story, and I'm wishing you all the best ❤️
Not all of us have a husband pay for our time off and do all the housework. Lucky girl hold on to that amazing man.
Going through this right now , can definitely relate , thanks for sharing ❤
I was 15/16 the first time I burned out and have never felt like I can push myself as hard as I did before that.
Thank you for sharing your experience Sarah ❤️
Thank you. The parallels between our stories are so numerous I don’t know which to include in this comment. I also went from full time law, to part time law, to mental health leave, to quitting law, then sinking even further into burnout before discovering my neurodivergence (ADHD first, then autism) all as a result of my 2020 goal to "find" myself and prioritize my health and happiness. Seeing another intelligent and apparently "highly effective" woman struggle to accomplish basic life tasks is a gift. Though I have been a part of the autism community online for some years now, nothing has hit as close to home as finding your channel. I learned I was autistic at the age of 25 in August of 2021. I am so grateful for your videos. Thank you, good luck, and sending much love your way.
WOW. Are we twins? I'm so happy for you that you're starting to piece the jigsaw puzzles together. Thank you so much for sharing your story and I'm sending you love! ❤️
Have watched this video a few times now & it's been really comforting to me. I'm 23 & I've been burnt out to the core for 4 or 5 months now, unable to leave my house for anything other than a walk or do anything that requires problem solving/ extra thinking. I'm scared it's not going to get better & I am grieving a life I thought i'd be able to live. thank you so much for making this video, feeling less alone
I needed this. Going at your own pace is an important reminder especially when it seems that everyone around you is growing faster than you can catch up. Another incredible video!
Totally. The idea that letting go and resting is going to benefit our growth in the long run is so hard to trust when it feels like everyone is blooming around us. Thank you for sharing Nick ❤️
Thank you for sharing your experiences with burnouts. I'm in the process of waiting for an autism assessment which will take another 2 years.. To say that I'm struggling is an understatement. Looing back to my childhood I'm realising that most of the times i was absent from school was because of burnout. 💙
I'm so sorry the wait is so long Chantelle, it's not good enough ❤ I really hope that knowledge and education about burnout becomes more prevalent because it feels so unfair that children would experience it without necessarily understanding it or the root cause (I think, at least in my experience, it can lead to a lot of negative talk and criticism thinking one is lazy etc which is so far from the truth). I am sending you so much love ❤
Definitely feel the same
Literally tearing up listening to this. Where you were just after you quit is me right now, but swap law for cyber threat intelligence. I can't tell you how much hope this gives me, because right now I am so scared. Thank you
omg! i am in exactly same situation about my work and feels so tired and stressed recently. I have been with this work over year and i was enthusiastic and worked 19hrs a day even on my weekends. After so long working and putting my all effort there is no change and specially my colleagues talks bad behind me. It effected my event more and now it changed me as person. I used to be bubbly, possitive and energetic person now i am all the time tired and not in mode for anything. I sleep all my weekend yet still tired and changed me as a person. Now i avoid people, crowd and only wants to be in quite place.
Thank you for sharing and I'm so sorry you're going through what is a really tough time ❤ I relate to putting all of my effort in and still not seeing the things I expected from people around me. I hope that you find ways to set boundaries and prioritise yourself that help, and that there are friends or family that you can ask for support. Sending you love.
Thank you for this reminder about burn out. It gives me awareness about my situation 😭😔
I really relate to this. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for this video. I’ve burned out a few times in the past 10 years, but I realize now I never recovered from the first times, I just kept burning out harder and harder. Your video really resonated with me and I appreciate you sharing your experience. It’s helpful to know we’re not the only ones going through it.
I needed this today. Thank you
Thank you for this video. I’m currently experiencing burnout from working full time and studying for a master’s for the past 2 years. I’m realising that self care is so important
Thank you for sharing this difficult part of your life. I am in my 50s and have come to the awareness that I most likely have ASD. After so many decades of masking, my life is finally making sense. I have gone through burnout so many times, especially during my years of raising three kids and working. I have shed several layers of masking over the last 10 years. The masks of heteronormativity (came out at 48 🌈), the mask that protected me from family of origin dysfunction, the masks of perfection, of career paths that gave me all the more cover. Discovering, at age 51 that I have a different bio-father than my younger siblings further shattered what I thought was my identity. This information was intentionally kept from me so that my narcissistic mother could keep up her purposefully deceptive facade. Crossing her meant unleashing rage upon me, an otherwise model daughter. So, whew, this comment is becoming cathartic - and long. For now, I wish all travelers on this journey the best. ❤
thank you for sharing your experience.
❤❤❤
I completely agree with this. - take a time off from work when I was genuinely ill in some jobs previously- = meant dealing so many times with disciplinary s when I got back. Which meant stressing about that the whole time I was off.
- I was made redundant from my last job which was actually ok but the one before that was a complete nightmare and I had this situation with disciplinary s often due to an illness I could not help and was seeking specialist advice and care for...
It makes me angry too- jobs need to understand if someone is genuinely ill they can’t help that.
Thanks for sharing this. I burnt out 4 or 5 years ago when I was working as a freelance makeup artist. I didn't have a name to put to what was going on with me but I can see it now. I switched job to get some money coming in without the pressure and it helped massively but now I'm ready for something more fulfilling and I'm struggling to stick with anything. Right now is just as good a time as any to start healing from it now that I have more understanding.
More power to you Ruth! It's never too late to heal, and I am wishing you all the best ❤
Thank you so much for your message in this video, it has really helped me to feel less alone 💕
🙏❤️
Thank you for making this video
Hi, I first found your commentary on instagram and I'm glad to find it here too! Thanks for sharing your journey 🙂
Hi Konrad, thanks for joining me here also! 😊
Another great video! This one felt the most personal of all your videos x
Thank you my love 🙂❤ It's certainly personal to us - you have seen me through such a tough time, and for that I am forever grateful! I love you ❤
I am loving your videos Charlie. I hit burnout in 2017 and have not been the same since, and in fact things have no gotten worse with being diagnosed with chronic illnesses a couple of years ago. I am currently on a weeks sick leave from work, I don't have the energy to do anything and people just don't seem to understand. We are conditioned to believe that work and money are the most important things in life but many of us sacrifice our health and wellbeing in order to achieve success. Who gets to choose what success looks like anyway....
I am looking forward to watching more of your videos - thank you!
Hi Tanya, thank you for watching! I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling with chronic illnesses since burnout, that sounds really really tough. ❤ I don't have chronic illnesses, so I don't mean to draw comparisons, but I've certainly found people's lack of understanding with my personal occupational and autistic burnout to be infuriating and hurtful. I completely agree with you, and personally hope that more and more people start questioning capitalist ideals.
Thank you. I found your channel today and I’m so grateful I did. Thank you
Welcome ☺️
Such an important message! Going through this right now, it is so hard some days. Thanks!!
Hang in there - I'm sending you healing vibes!
This is how I've felt for months now. Trapped and unable to get out. No choice but to keep going. No chance to stop and take a breath. My job isn't even that difficult, it's just the volume and having to deal with doing 2.5 people's work loads for too long. I'm so overwhelmed.
This is where I am right now- I feel like it’s just starting to improve, but I can tell it will be a while. Thanks for sharing your story! ❤
I am wishing you all the best on your recovery journey ❤️ Thank you for watching and reaching out!
Home and work are my main causes of burnout
Hi Charlie-- fun to find you on YT. Lovely script and video. Subbed.
Last summer I burned out harder than I ever have in my life. I was a guide in Alaska for six years and even in a "fun" job or one that is super fulfilling I lost all interest in... everything. Stress and lack of sleep compounds until you reach a point where it's hard to move or do anything. It's been just over a year since then and even though I'm better I'm still not the same. Burnout is dangerous-- especially for people with preexisting mental health issues. I'm so glad you had your partner. Excited to be on the burnout recovery/prevention journey with ya 🍻
Hi Melissa! That IS fun. Thank you for joining this journey and for saying hi and sharing part of your story 🤗 You know what, it's fascinating to hear about burnout happening even when working on a passion/purpose etc as so often you only hear it talked about in the context of corporate jobs that are just a means to an end! What you say about losing interest resonates HARD - as soon as I started to heal I realised that the colour in life started to come back, and I felt creative again & like I cared about things again. I am so sorry this happened to you too, but am encouraged to hear you are recovering and am rooting for you on your journey ❤️
@@charlierewilding yes to "the color in life started to come back." The overlap between burnout and depression is so alike it can be hard to distinguish which one it is. But when the color comes back, food starts to taste good again, and you can see beauty in the world-- those are gifts and signs of recovery from both. All the best from Utah, USA. 🌵
Such a poignant reflection and video. I'm so glad you stopped and forever grateful that you are able the take this time to recover. Keep resting and replenishing and telling your story x
Thank you mum, for everything 🥰
So I'm coming to this a long time after original posting, I know, but heck have I always struggled to ever feel like I've successfully recharged or got past a big crash or burnout like this. Like, to the point where I genuinely question how one actually does this? Is it specific things to do? Is it just a case of time? Because around 2:17 in when you described being in bed almost all day, sleeping for so long every day but still feeling exhausted even when awake, that hit me HARD. That was absolutely me from about May/June time, where a bad heartbreak really sent my MH spiralling and felt like everything else came crashing down with it, and when I fully realised that I wasn't just burned out - I was in autistic burnout, which is something else entirely. Sending lots of love your way, those times are hard and I'm glad you feel like you've come through the other side a little bit by now.
This is so true but don’t have the means to even take a small break.
I had it when my mom had a stroke. My brain stopped working completely. I mean I could function, but JUST barely.
I'm so sorry Monica, that must have been terribly hard ❤
Thank you for sharing your experience (again!). I wondered if you might be able to reflect on whether this was work burnout or autistic burnout? Or if they are perhaps the same thing. I have an autism dx booked in as I suspect I am aut but I'm trying to work out if the burnout I'm going through now is aut related or work related. Just wondered if you had any thoughts?
This is a great question, thank you for asking! It is also very timely as this is something I am currently reflecting on and trying to unpick. It may take a bit of time whilst i gather my thoughts but I will definitely cover this in another video for you. In short: i believe it was a bit of both, and that they reinforced each other, but as with all of these topics there is so much to say and nuance to cover. In the meantime, I hope your autism assessment is a validating experience and helps answer any questions you have. ❤️
Im going through this now. I am a single mom of 3 and dont know what to do
Wow❤❤
🥰❤️
how do you manage exercise and keep healthy physically?
i don't! i used to be very fit & active but, other than daily walks, burnout has meant i had to give that up for a while. six months in to my burnout i'm starting to reintegrate swimming & running.
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Exactly where I am at to a T! X
Sending you love & support!
@@charlierewilding Thank you,this beautiful supportive Community on your channel and IG is really helping my sanity! X
💯🙌❤️
Oh, I wish you didn't take down that comment given by a "58 year old lawyer" - I was coming to comment on that.
Burnout is valid, in all occupations. Mental health choices are valid, in all occupations. None of us are impervious to burnout. Law tends to perpetuate this "just keep pushing through or you aren't a 'real' lawyer" mentality, and that mentality has nothing to do with your value, but everything to do with the industry needing to retain people through false stereotypes and bullying. A great study conducted in Canada with over 7000 lawyers and paralegals just came out this month which shows that lawyers are NOT dealing with mental health issues well, and how prevalent bullying is in the industry. I suggest you check it out.
But your burnout is valid and is a sign that the job of law isn't for you. Don't let some lawyer with an ego derail you. If they love law, good for them. Let them keep doing it. Life isn't a competition, and if another lawyer thinks it is, maybe that person should sit down and ask themselves "why do I think I have to show I am better than everyone else? Why does that matter to me?" Because I think it is a reflection of others and their regret for the decisions they have made in their lives.
Keep going. Your story is helping others. Thank you for sharing
Hi Pamela ❤ I decided at the outset of sharing vulnerably online that I would not tolerate hate and the comment you are referring to was particularly hateful (in attacking me personally on a very detailed level). I am not averse to people disagreeing with me, or providing constructive criticism, of course but I won't provide a platform for strangers to bully me hence I blocked the individual.
Thank you for sharing your comment because you have articulated what I wouldn't have been able to say in response. You have set out exactly how I feel about the topic, and I agree that such hate is a reflection of them (not me). I honestly choose compassion, because so much hate must eat away at a person.
I will definitely check out the study you mentioned, thank you for telling me about it. And, again, thank you for reassuring me and encouraging me - it means more than you know! ❤
trust me. this is one of the worst things you can experience.
me who experiences burnout every alternative month
I'm sorry to hear that ❤️
Have you looked into if you are neurodivergent or not? This sounds exactly like me and I have high-masking ADHD/Autism. Might be something worth looking into
Yep I'm autistic & on the waiting list for adhd assessment. Was diagnosed just after this video was published. Makes a lot more sense now.
Its all so pointless. The whole thing. Last week i got the downs again. cant go on. just stay in bed and wait for ...something. cant eat right. need to run away and live in a grass hut in a forest with flint knives and forget everyone and everything
I'm sorry you're feeling the downs again Brian and am sending you love ❤
@@charlierewilding You are most kind. Thank you. And thank you for your Utub sharing. Best wishes to you. ;)
@@briansiddon2255 Thanks for watching 🤗 Take care ❤️
I wish the best for you because you seem like a really intelligent, thoughtful good person. I am just concerned because I have seen similar situations and thought patterns in others and even in myself and it is easy to "think yourself sick". In other words, what is actually wrong, physically speaking, may be nothing or nothing serious but if you believe that you are seriously messed up, you will be.
When you think you are seriously messed up and then you become what you think that you are, your thinking is reinforced thus creating a downward spiral.
Have you looked at your way of eating (diet)/ nutrition at all?
Thank you for watching ❤ I appreciate your concern, and have had similar thoughts myself about wanting to ensure I am not trapping myself in negative thought cycles (hence I go to therapy!) but also do not question that I was very sick (it wasn't just thinking myself sick) during this period.
my dear, you should not brush your hair straight out the bath/shower, hair is weakest when it is wet and is at least 2x more prone to breakage......instead you should gently pat dry with a soft towel, spray on some heat block and finger comb, then blow dry on a medium heat high blower setting. I am an apprentice stylist and have learned many people neglect their hair when they leave the salon.
This sounds like it began as burnout and turned into cronic depression.
I needed this video so much! I was relieved that I'm not alone