@@lionpurpkush63 my money is on him poisoning the kids against their aunt. so that whenever he does try to sue or they come of age; they will either speak against her or give their dad access to the funds. He then drains it all for the other kids and leaves them high and dry.
That gymnast one really upsets me; knowing how *so many* suffered at the hands of Larry the "doctor", hearing the gross unwanted sexualization of OP makes me furious for OP. I don't typically recommend ending a relationship but I think this time I can gladly make an acception; OP, dump the creep.
I think the sister sensed something was up with her husband, maybe cheating? It’s possible the husband thought he was slick having a side piece while his wife was terminally ill but got found out so sister took the steps to make sure her kids were financially safe when she was gone. Like seriously, he said “it was selfish of her”??? What in the world who thinks this way of their deceased spouse???
She likely realized what sort of lowlife man he was once she got sick. She understood the risk that he could remarry and not use the money for their bio children. She was able to protect and provide something for them when she couldn’t physically be there in the future. BIL is selfish, greedy and feels entitled. He chose that woman and chose to be a father figure to her children. And I bet he will badmouth the bio kids to the step kids and anyone willing to listen.
She left the money for her children, not his children with another woman. Put that to him in those terms because the younger ones have nothing to do with her.
Wow. Diane chose the guardian she wanted for her baby. Who thinks they have a right to question the mother's choices. This is ridiculous. There's a REASON she didn't ask her half sister.
I wonder if it's a long-term plan for her family to take the child away from op, think about it if op lets amy into the baby's life the grandparents will probably be there too. she and the family are probably pissy that op was chosen and not them so they might try to use his single status, him not being the dad and other things to get the baby.
Is op sure she was ever pregnant, or was she just delusional or looking for attention? Maybe she said shed changed her mind about having kids cause she was looking for a way out of the lie. When he didn't immediately look relieved, and didn't suggest an abortion, maybe she waited a bit and pretended to have miscarriage. And now she wants in this baby's life cause she's still crazy, and craves ops attention, and all the attention of lawyers and courts etc. And maybe she actually does want a baby. Who knows. I bet even Amy doesn't know what she's thinking. Cause she's cray-cray
Yeah, that’s what I thought. However, given the fact that she doesn’t want kids, I don’t think that the relationship would have worked out if he had taken her back☹️
Last story. My kid asked me if they were gay how would I feel. I threw my hands and explained yea no teen pregnancy. Then I gave my kid a huge hugs and said that I would always love them.
That's a great answer! I might steal that if I have children, I messed up with my niece as I didn't know what to say. I said "oh are you happy? Are you eating well?" She said yes to both so I said I'm glad and gave her a hug.
It’s a good thing that their mother made sure that her kids could have a good future when they came of age. I think that if she had left the father in charge of the money, it would have all been spent before the kids reached 18😟
The science story. I feel for OP I made state choir and my parents didn't go to the concert. That was HS and I'm in my 50s now and it still hurts. They went to all my brothers events. I was also the "dumb" one in the family, took me many years to realize I am not dumb. High school barely graduated, college 3.75gpa. OP is great getting a prize in science! They should have split up and each gone to a ceremony.
The parents flaked and forgot about the science program, otherwise they would’ve had a conversation about being double-booked *before* the big night, not afterwards. I made state band senior year in hs and my poor parents had to drive to Oswego, NY - twice! - to drop me off and then attend the concert. I was blown away by the state choir. I’m so glad you had a chance to participate, but a little heartbroken that they your parents didn’t attend. They missed a good show, I’m sure.
Last story: does the kid or reddit not understand what "Duh" means? It literally means "tell us something we don't know". That should have been his clue that they A) knew B) had known for awhile C) were perfectly OK with it as they have been all along.
@@k70freeman this FR, the only reason there was a “YTA” is because they didn’t make a big deal out of it like, bruh, someone coming out doesn’t have to be met with any kind of fanfare. Would they prefer him getting kicked out instead of the very underwhelmed response?
@@k70freeman I think it’s less about being worshipped and more about having a story to tell. either a fairytale moment of love and acceptance or of conditional love and being a survivor. I remember over hearing a conversation at the mall once of a kid complaining how underwhelmed their parents had been smh.
Last story: I'm going to say NTA for the parents. Yes, coming out can be important, but if you're already throwing out enough blatant signals so that anyone and everyone with an ounce of common sense can rightfully say, "yes, I know you are and it doesn't bother me.", then you really have no right to get upset Learn to read your audience, and you'll save yourself heartache later. And before anyone asks, my daughter came out bi a few years ago. And she was comfortable in doing so because she was able to read her audience quite well.
If this young man needed reassurance that his parents loved him regardless who he loves, I think the fact that they already knew and weren’t surprised should give him that message. Yeah, he wanted a moment and their laughter kinda wrecked it, but if he thinks about it, knowing that his parents have been there and supporting him all along should really please him.
This is callous victim-blaming. It may have seemed obvious to the parents, but to the son it was still a secret and he was genuinely terrified. It wasn't his responsibility to "read the audience" at all; he's the kid in this situation. If anyone needed to "read the room", it's the parents who saw that their child was afraid and thought the appropriate response was 'haha, laugh at the stupid!'.
@@jamestown8398 Oh please, the equivalent of "OK that's nice" is the best case scenario anyone could ever hope for this scenario. There's evil about essentially saying "we don't care that you're gay".
@@jamestown8398 the son had been careless about his ways & his relationship with his BF yet his parents did not give him “the talk” earlier which a lot of LGBT teens had horror stories about. That said, it should be obvious to the son that his parents accepted & loved him regardless. It could be possible that the son is not very bright and had always thought that he was “very discreet” or thought his parents were stupid. I say that would be SO sixteen (not everyone can be though.) This reaction by the parents should cause him to breathe a sigh of relief at least.
@@jamestown8398 Yes, he should've read the room before making his announcement. If he did, he would've realized that his parents already had figured out he was gay.
They just said "duh" when he came out. Yeah he could have used more support than that but on the other hand he recieved unconditional love and complete acceptance from his parents. Sounds like the day my daughter announced she was bi and I said, "yeah? Me too." Or the day my other daughter announced she is vegetarian and I said, "ok, but I want to get you a book that explains protien sources for a vegetarian."
They didn't just say 'duh', they laughed at him. "but on the other hand he recieved unconditional love and complete acceptance from his parents" - no he didn't, he received mockery.
First Story: Wow, red flag. Holy shit. NTA, OP Second Story: I admit I zoned out at the start of this and when the OP went "When his family heard about my career-" and thought "Wait is she a camgirl?" Wow, tasteless. And the boyfriend is a jackass for laughing along too. Third Story: Oof, this one's not as clear-cut. Both of them are clearly in mourning. I think that asking for official adoption is crossing a line. Now if I were in OP's place I wouldn't be adverse to letting Amy be a part of the kid's life, with conditions. But I'd maintain sole custody over Josaphine. Fourth Story: Wow, what terrible parents! They knew about this a month out! As that comment said, they could have had a parent at each event, or hell, TOLD the OP about the other ceremony! They couldn't have more obviously said "Sorry, First Child, but we don't give a fuck" Fifth Story: Mm... I wouldn't go so far as to say they're full ASSHOLES but yeah, they did fumble things a bit. An apology is definitely in order for "Sorry we made you feel belittled, we just kind of always knew"
Last story: They're not assholes at all. Kid literally got the best possible outcome and he's complaining about it. Sounds to me like he expect some kind of award.
The way i came out to my grandparents (i came out bc i had been dating my gf for about 3 months at this point) was kinda similar and it almost felt robbed? I had this speech sorta prepared, i spent many knights scared that i would get kicked out so when i told my nan 'i have something to tell you tomorrow, its nothing bad im just telling you in advance' and she went 'is this about name, ur gf?' I felt put out and relived simultaniously. I dont think the parents should have responded with 'haha DUH of course ur gay' they should have just been like 'okay, tanks for tellin us'
Story 1: I'm going to need some information, especially about that letter. Why did he not read it until 18 months ago? Was it hidden from him? What did it say besides that? Did he not have any say in dealing with his wife's estate? All that said, he's definitely not right. That money isn't his. It's for his 2 kids individually and independently of him. It sounds like she knew he'd do something like this.
@@mattwho81 I wonder if luke has a history of cheating that op and the family did not know about but his wife did and that's why she did what she did the 'i am a loyal husband' comment is kinda wierd
It sounds like the funds were set up in a trust. Trusts are set up in specific ways with guidelines and criteria. OP was established as trustee and it sounds like her sister knew that she needed to protect her kids from Luke. Luke’s step kids and his kids with his new wife are not entitled to it. The funds were from the proceeds of OP and her sisters family NOT anything to do with Luke.
There is a lot of missing information. In this story and it feels very one sided. I could only imagine what his been through to find out his dead wife could have helped him out but didn't because she wanted to make sure her kid went to college and have money afterwards. But not help out to get them to college age. That's the biggest fu to the man who took care of her and the kids while she was dieing. That doesn't seem right at all. I feel the same way when i hear stories when the genders are reversed.
The last story is funny, because some people want *A Reaction* when they come out to their parents, but some parents these days are unfazed because they're accepting and prepared for their kids to be gay. When I came out to my dad and step-mom, I sat them down like I was going to make some big announcement. When I said I was gay, they sat there, facial expressions completely unchanged, and said "okay." Not only were they okay with queer people, but they had their money on me being asexual (which isn't even one of the sexualities that gets a lot of attention). That kid who came out to his parents was (in an awkward way) lucky to receive laughter from people who didn't think he was ever in the closet.
I've run that scenario in my head that if I had a kid and that kid announced they're gay. My response ends up just being "so?" reason: still my kid no matter what, and it will change nothing. The only things that would change the 'dynamic' would be if the kid ended up being an ass-hole, cheater or both.
Nta. Ppl are so ignorant. Being a gymnast takes alot of work and dedication. Also what if OP started saying how much of a dead lay all these ppls sex lifes must be bc that are not gymnasts? I mean isn't that kinda what they're saying. OP your bf and and his friends need to grow up.
so for the gymnast story. OP needs to VERY SARCASTICLY say "Oh wow, you're so funny I have NEVER heard those jokes before" any time the flexibility jokes start flying
@@PurpleSunset82- as a lifelong (40+ years) computer geek, I can tell you that IT is a hot bed of people with poor social skills. It's improved drastically. They all seem to have figured out basic personal hygiene now, and they are less socially inept. However, I spend a fair amount of time playing "IT Mom"... things like what is and isn't "funny", what to get as a gift, what makes a good date.. I should charge.
So bf is ok with degrading sexual comments tossed at his partner by his friends? At no point did it even dawn on him to defend or shut that crap down. Ex bf is a jerk.
3rd place story: As a father of two boys that are 10 years apart I feel sadness for you. Why couldn't one parent go to one event and the other to the others event and meet up at a resturant afterwards to celebrate win loose or draw? This is just bad parenting. Look, 3rd place is fine not first but fine. Like a commenter said, the teacher thought you were good enough that's why they entered you. My son won third place in an event and looked at me sheepishly sad. I looked at him and told him to hold his head up. 3rd place ok and I'm still proud because, you tried your best didn't you? He said yes. Now lets go to TGI Fridays for dinner. That's his favorite place to eat. That perked him up. So, he, my ex and I went to dinner. I don't know what was worse eating at TGI Fridays for the 100th time or see my ex wife. But a father has to do what a father has to do even if you don't want to.
Story one in what universe would this money go to these extra kids. Why have a ton of kids you can’t afford? I would 100% get a lawyer and make sure that this idiot cannot waste the kids money. Yeah dead wife’s money should be for her own babies not these extras.
You being from a single parent family and turning out so lovely is the very reason you know the child will be ok with just you as a parent. Do as Diane wanted and ignore the nasty comments. Diane was right to trust you over her family it seems.
In high school my younger brother was a bit of a player; he'd have a new girlfriend every few months (my parents and I jokingly referred to him as our family Fonz). In college, suddenly he had no girlfriend/s, which we found surprising but figured he might actually be working at studying over socializing. We also joked between ourselves that maybe my brother was gay (all of us being theater folk, we would be fine with such, our having so many gay friends already). To our astonishment, a day or two later my brother brings home RJ, who's very pleasant and _very_ clearly gay. While it turned out my brother was/is _not_ gay, and he'd just fallen in with RJ as besties, some months later I was driving RJ home. He was extremely nervous and I realized he was choosing them to Come Out to me. Sure enough he did, very concerned of what I'd think of him. I assured him such didn't matter, as well as that both my parents and I knew he was gay the first time he'd stepped through our door. RJ was a bit taken aback by this news, but understood we knew he had to be ready to Tell Us rather than our simply pointing out the obvious. RJ is one of two Honourary Brothers (the other one "happens" to be gay as well).
coming out story nta y does coming out need to be a big thing it normal that like me sitting my mom down and saying I date girls. In my eye that the best thing in the world nothing change as it shouldn't. This was full accept n op shouldn't be put down for it.
Coming from someone nonheteronormative, coming out can be scary, particularly if the person you are coming out to is strongly religious. My sister is a conservative Christian and that group has a reputation for being anti LGBTQ+.
Last story; In a perfect world every coming out announcement would be met with the same acceptance, no screaming, no religious hatred, no name calling, no fear or abuse. You're simply our child and we accept who you are, how you live, and who you love without the judgement, fear, or the threats of disowning that so many people have to face. Sure, as his parents you could have been more excited and emotional when your son told you his "big news" which I grant is monumental to him but it is heartwarming to see two parents love and accept their child without question. When your son stops and looks back on his life he will realize that his parents do support him and his life, but you and your husband should sit down and tell him that you love him, you are proud of the man he is becoming, and he will always be your son. Hearing those words will mean the world to him!
Yeah I don’t really understand why the kid was so upset 🤔 like your parents being all “yeah we knew already” and just going back to whatever they were doing is them basically saying “we obviously accept you because we already knew and haven’t judged you or kicked your boyfriend out”. It’s the perfect “coming out” of those you want to tell already knowing, and not caring or judging or discriminating etc. So many stories of people “coming out” and then getting kicked out of home or screamed at or physically abused, but this kid is unhappy he didn’t get a perfect “coming out video” to go on social media or something? 🤔 I just don’t get it 🤷♀️
OP don't feel bad. When I came out to family they reacted the same way. It was a glaring fact that I thought I had been proficiently hiding in the closet lol! At first I was insulted at my family's response, but after a while I understood how I really was openly me for a long time :) It takes time and maturity, which hopefully your son has the ability to develop the latter.
Coming Out Story: NTA so ... pretty much every homosexual person wants parents and the people they care about to be as supporting as OP and her husband are, the goal is pretty much to have homosexuality accepted as nothing special etc, but when do exactly that, treat it as nothing special they get called assholes? oO I have good friend that cut people off over having his "coming out" be treated as something special If I remember right he came out to a few friends and me while we were playing either LoL or WoW, the reaction to his "coming out" was something along the lines of: "That explains a lot." "What do you mean?" "Well, your main is Taric and you also only play male elves in WoW."
I really don’t see what the big deal is in the last story considering the parents already knew about the son’s orientation. I mean it’s not like they had a negative reaction. Was the son expecting the parents to have a shocked Pikachu face?
Right? This reminds me of the scene in Madeas homecoming movie. The young man coming out was both shocked and disappointed in the response of " boy everyone knew." Parents who engage usually do know
Everyone voting nta is looking at this purely from the parent's perspective. Try looking at it from the son's perspective. He's 16, isn't quite aware of how much attention his parents are paying to him, and when he came out he was terrified. He didn't need to be laughed at (make no mistake, this is laughing at, not with), he needed to be comforted.
@@jamestown8398 Looking at it from the kids perspective paints him in a worse light than looking at it from the parents perspective. You're not stunning, you're not brave, you didn't get an award, you didn't get a party, BOO FUCKING HOO your parents love you and don't give a single shit that you're gay, get over it.
Mental health experts all say: Never make a major decision while grieving. You tell them, you won't make any decisions for one or two years; because YOU ARE STILL GRIEVING HER DEATH... unlike her own family. The Mom's family emotionally abandoned her as a child; she grew up with YOUR FAMILY. IT WAS YOUR FAMILY WHO HELPED HER. YOU are more the Mom's family, than those half siblings. If you Put a Deadline on your decision, that will get them to back off. One to two years, will wear out their 'emotional needs' at this moment.
For the first story there's a good point for at 2:37 the real question that not many seem to be asking is why exactly didn't the wife trust the husband enough to go over all this before she was gone, why did he have to find out later from a letter he happened to find? The whole story gives off massive gold digger vibes especially the part about how he thinks that money should be used for his new family too when they have no connection to it.
The gymnast story... "she should expect those sorts of comments" What?! So if you have a large bust, you should expect to have comments about? So, so toxic. Dump him.
Not one dime belongs to Luke or his new children. Those are not your sisters children. Your sister know he would not take care of her children. He just thinks it's his money but it was hers. I sure he spent the life insurance one the next women.
#1 - NTA This is a clear demonstration of why money left to kids/vulnerable peoples are put into untouchable trusts to begin with. Dear Sister *knew* he couldn’t be trusted. Even if she never admitted it to herself, she knew.
Seriously, I bet there are tons of people who came out and wished for that last reaction. Yes, it's better to get reassurance and love instead of amusement and laughter. But the reason behind it is more important: they already knew and were fine with it. He's allowed to be sensitive about it, but in time, I would hope he'd be more relieved than anything else. They accept him. They're not kicking him out or swearing he will never touch a boy under their roof. This is a good thing, people. We need more parents who can laugh off these serious talks when the matter is no longer serious because they dealt with it ages ago in their own minds.
First story Hang on Are those children actually step children ie not his, or are they half siblings to the first two? Makes a difference as they aren't even his children if they're step children and have zero blood connections to the first two GET THE DETAILS STRAIGHT
@@amberleeannalee1999 That part of the story was a bit confusing though. I was trying to figure out if the new wife already had kids before she married the BIL.
Story 2: Maybe OP should bring her BF to meet her gymnast friends and have them pepper him with all the stereotypes of programmers being incel losers. Doesn't really matter, since he will never have to worry about her bedroom abilities again.
5:03 "ive heard it all before" that doesnt make it ok and you say you have a thick skin , maybe its time to clap back "ha ha ha yeah having a flexible girlfriend is very practical. it balances out the lack of flexibility and reach-ability of other things :D ! *laughs hysterical because thats the best joke ever besides the obvious -gymnasts are so flexibel in bed - joke* /s just give them equally crude and rude comments back , lets see how long its " just a joke " till you attack their menhood
Story 4 op I feel did the right thing. Why? Because they promised and then didn't tell op and now he is left alone at the comptiotion. It was only one event and they couldn't be bothered to tell him they were not going to be there. They are sad parents.
With the third story you're not in the wrong here Diane basically gave the baby to you because she knew that if any members of her family got that baby they were going to make the baby's life a living hell. Think about it her siblings didn't want anything to do with her her parents basically enabled that behavior and then to make it even worse you were the only one that treated her as family. You dated her half sister and when her half sister became pregnant she didn't want a child and changed her mind the last year of it. Then with the stress of finals and exams she miscarriage. And to be honest I think the moment you got with Diane was the moment she saw once again that this woman who is the product of her family being destroyed it's getting something that she wanted. And now that you're raising her child Amy wants back in the fold. You're not in the wrong here but a lot of the family members just want Diane's child to be raised by them because they see her as a second chance to get at her without having to deal with her
To the gymnastics one, no. You are not the AH. You have to stand up to this type of BS. As a LMT (Licensed Massage Therapist), the 'jokes' we get are sickening and downright rude. 'Happy Ending' jokes get old quick. I now immediately ask them; "How is you insinuating I'm a prostitute funny?" I then go into a spiel about how my job can be dangerous enough when it's legit because people continue to believe LMTs are prostitutes because of a few bad apples out there working under our profession name and these jokes actually do more damage because it continues to push and bring to the forefront the illegal activities done in seedy parlors under my profession name. It's not funny. It's not helpful. Stand up for yourself. Don't put up with that sort of disrespect.
I like a decade of “gay teen” dramas made the coming out moment more dramatic than it really needs to be for most kids. “Duh” is never how you should respond to your kid opening up about anything, but also most kids know if their parents are going to accept them or not. It’s hardly this big thing
Do not let Josie be raised by people who hated her mother and are trying to replace her mother with her sister who doesn’t even want children. 🤬 I think they want to erase Diane and reduce OP to an ATM.
Last story: Bruh i told my dad i was bi when skinning potatoes. He said okay and went outside to smoke. That was it. I came out to mom just as casually and she got a bit quiet, though for a second then said "okay" and we went on with out thing. I don't understand why coming out must be such a big things
The B-I-L didn’t need to have 5 more kids, and acting like he didn’t make that bed so why should he lay on it is disingenuous and patronizing. I think the dead sister knew her husband wasn’t good with money.
Im glad OPs sister put her in charge of her kids money. She knew her husband. The husband is an idiot. He keeps having kids he cant afford. He needs a damn vasectomy. Nta. Protect YOUR sisters kids.
Third place gets bronze in the Olympics. It's nothing to minimize. Coming out story: he probably didn't think you took him seriously. Tell him that you laughed because you already knew and you thought he knew you knew. Tell him you love him and thank you for telling me
Nta. You and amy were not compatible. Diane left little joey to OP bc OP was a good person. Amy didn't want kids and now can't decide to come back. She sounds suspect and idk if I would trust she wouldn't be mean to the child.
Op isn’t the idiot. Chemistry is important and your parents need you to be home so one of you can be the scapegoat. Without OP there one of them has to be the LCD
I wouldn’t worry too much about him getting the money. My husband had life insurance that collects interest and with that money my daughter doesn’t have to worry monetarily for college. Nobody, even me( I made sure).”, can touch it. So if something happens to me it’s protected. The only people who know officially about it are her grandparents. Other family members know he had life insurance and think I’m a life insurance princes. I don’t say anything because it’s none of their business, I don’t have to explain myself, and it makes them crazy not knowing 😂 I would talk to a lawyer though just to double check he can’t touch it. With my daughter, I could petition the court for her money as her legal guardian if we’re struggling. He is their guardian so I would just check. Also, if you can and I know this is totally not my business, I would ask him if he needed help and I would take in my sisters kids. He’s saying they’re starving? So I’m sure that’s not the only way they’re neglected. I’m sorry but even an extra 5 healthy babies is a lot. They made their choices and it’s not little kids job to bail them out or support their grown ass parents and siblings.
1: The sister left that money for her own children, not her husband’s potential future kids with wife number two. She did the right thing. It’s obvious that if she gave her husband control over the money he would have spent it all and left nothing to the two that it was intended for. Nobody forced him to have five more children that he’d struggle to provide for. Last story: What reaction was the kid hoping for? Lots of gay people wish that their parents reacted like that when they came out to them rather than being screamed at and disowned.
That one with the gymnast right there that's a big red flag for the boyfriend to do that with his friends and not stick up for her and then try to twist and blame it on her, no... big red flag! Making fun of people is bad enough but doing it in a sexual way.. come on now that's worse than walking down the street when you get these awful cat calls cuz these are people you're supposed to trust people you're supposed to have in your life and yet they're doing that??? no! that is not right at all extremely disrespectful!
STORY #1 NTA. OP is safeguarding a financial future for her niece and nephew, at the request of her late sister. Sister's husband, meanwhile, is being a greedy monster. He openly admitted that he wanted to steal away his two eldest children's inheritances so he could spend it on his "new family". To be honest, part of me hopes the two kids go no-contact with their sperm-donor and step-relatives. Seriously, he's such a monster that I think it would have been better if he died and his wife survived. STORY #2 NTA. A *good* boyfriend would have stood up for OP and told his gross friends to shut up. Honestly, why is OP with this jerk? Whatever she sees in him can be found in a man who'll also stick up for her. STORY #3 NTA. Let's go down the list: 1. Diane wanted OP to be the baby's guardian, despite having other options. Giving the baby to anyone else would violate her wishes. 2. Amy lied in the past about wanting kids to trick OP into a relationship with her. Whose to say she's not lying now?" 3. Amy bullied Diane for most of her life, only reconnecting with her in the last few years of it. It's entirely possible she'll bully the baby too as a living reminder of Diane. 4. "The baby needs a mom" is false. It assumes women are natural nurturers (something Amy herself should know is untrue) and that men are incapable of nurturing. It's the line of reason anti-LGBT groups use to prevent same-sex couples from adopting. "Don't give the baby to two men - it needs a mom!" Not only should OP not give the baby to Amy, but he also shouldn't let any of Diane's blood-relatives have any contact with the baby. No visits, no invitations to parties, no birthday cards, nothing. Explain exactly why to the baby as she grows up ("These people may be related to you by blood, but they hurt your mother a lot while she was alive"). STORY #4 NTA. OP shouldn't be fine with the situation at home. Having a "golden child" is abuse of all the children! OP should try to get legally emancipated from his parents and look into living with the friend full time. STORY #5 YTA. It's clear OP didn't mean harm, but this moment clearly wasn't funny to the son. He was terrified, wondering if his parents would still love or want him, and the impression he got is that his parents think his fear is funny - or, worse yet, that they think gays deserve to be mocked. OP needs to apologize to son and have a heart-to-heart.
So i never had the stressful experience of having to come out, i wouldn't want a big party. I would want to be normal, whatever that is. However, i can understand why the Son would. NAH as you are the parent every kid wants
Why would his dying wife trust that he would be a responsible trustee of their 2 kids inheritance?? Yeah he is able to move on have and continue his life but that doesnt mean the inheritance for the 2 kids should be used on the new family cuz dad and stepmom couldn't be bothered to work and decided to have more kids that they couldnt support.
1st story: I guess it'll be difficult to make sure that the right kids benefit from that money. Now that their dad knows of their inheritance, he can and likely will rely on that inheritance in his financial planning. I.e. he may end up saving a college fund for the OTHER kids only and to rely on the inheritance to pay for the college of those kids that are entitled to it.
The Gymnast and the Crude Bedroom Jokes: Sister! Can you not see, he took you to that party TO SHOW OFF. TO ENJOY THE ENVY OF HIS FRIENDS AND THE SEX TOY HE IS DATING. This relationship will go nowhere, because YOU ARE THERE FOR HIS PLEASURE AND NOTHING ELSE. Don't waste a lot of time trying to fix this; he showed his true colors; it's now time for you to give him what he deserves: a glorious time with a Gymnast, who knew there were better fish in the sea.
The golden child story...that was me. I was a theater kid and I think maybe they went to maybe 3 things totally out of my four years in high school. But with my sister it was everything she did with matching band. I was not a priority ever and my mom wonders why I am low contact.
One question is story 1- assuming the other children were not steps, why did the father go on to have FIVE MORE CHILDREN when he obviously could not afford them?
He probably could have afforded 5 able bodied children, though not in high style, but he and the new wife had only three able bodied children and two with chronic issues. Thus if they are the U.S., even with the patch work of government help, the children are hugely expensive. 5 children in five years indicates 2 single births and 1 triple birth or 2 twin births and 1 single birth.
She didn’t leave the money for HIS kids. She left it for HER kids.
Exactly and hell probably punish the kids for not wanting to let him use it on their step siblings
@@lionpurpkush63 my money is on him poisoning the kids against their aunt. so that whenever he does try to sue or they come of age; they will either speak against her or give their dad access to the funds. He then drains it all for the other kids and leaves them high and dry.
And that’s all he’s got to do, keep asking who did she leave it to and for what?
@@Hybrid301 he did try to coerce them and they already said no.
Five kids when you can't afford them and I'm going to guess his wife does not work. Failure to plan.
"You don't have the right to do this!"
"I actually have the legal responsibility to do this."
That gymnast one really upsets me; knowing how *so many* suffered at the hands of Larry the "doctor", hearing the gross unwanted sexualization of OP makes me furious for OP. I don't typically recommend ending a relationship but I think this time I can gladly make an acception; OP, dump the creep.
I think the sister sensed something was up with her husband, maybe cheating? It’s possible the husband thought he was slick having a side piece while his wife was terminally ill but got found out so sister took the steps to make sure her kids were financially safe when she was gone. Like seriously, he said “it was selfish of her”??? What in the world who thinks this way of their deceased spouse???
A narcissist would think that of his deceased spouse
She likely realized what sort of lowlife man he was once she got sick. She understood the risk that he could remarry and not use the money for their bio children. She was able to protect and provide something for them when she couldn’t physically be there in the future. BIL is selfish, greedy and feels entitled. He chose that woman and chose to be a father figure to her children. And I bet he will badmouth the bio kids to the step kids and anyone willing to listen.
He probably was sneaking around with new step parent while mom was still alive
Did she leave any money for him to raise the children?
I hate that OP diminished his own success. He got 3rd out of the entire school. His parents are responsible for that
He's been successfully beaten down into a good little doormat/scapegoat by his parents.
Story 1...The dad needs to get social security benefits for his kids and stop trying to milk his kids inheritance.
She left the money for her children, not his children with another woman. Put that to him in those terms because the younger ones have nothing to do with her.
Exactly right. It's so strange that he thinks kids that she presumably never met in her life are entitled to an inheritance from her.
Wow. Diane chose the guardian she wanted for her baby. Who thinks they have a right to question the mother's choices. This is ridiculous. There's a REASON she didn't ask her half sister.
I wonder if it's a long-term plan for her family to take the child away from op, think about it if op lets amy into the baby's life the grandparents will probably be there too. she and the family are probably pissy that op was chosen and not them so they might try to use his single status, him not being the dad and other things to get the baby.
Is op sure she was ever pregnant, or was she just delusional or looking for attention? Maybe she said shed changed her mind about having kids cause she was looking for a way out of the lie. When he didn't immediately look relieved, and didn't suggest an abortion, maybe she waited a bit and pretended to have miscarriage.
And now she wants in this baby's life cause she's still crazy, and craves ops attention, and all the attention of lawyers and courts etc. And maybe she actually does want a baby. Who knows. I bet even Amy doesn't know what she's thinking. Cause she's cray-cray
I think Amy totally wants to get back together with OP and is using the excuse of adopting the niece to sneak back in his life.
Yeah, that’s what I thought. However, given the fact that she doesn’t want kids, I don’t think that the relationship would have worked out if he had taken her back☹️
Last story. My kid asked me if they were gay how would I feel. I threw my hands and explained yea no teen pregnancy. Then I gave my kid a huge hugs and said that I would always love them.
That's a great answer! I might steal that if I have children, I messed up with my niece as I didn't know what to say. I said "oh are you happy? Are you eating well?" She said yes to both so I said I'm glad and gave her a hug.
I think the correct answer is 'Hi, Gay. I'm Dad," but maybe that only works for dads.
1. NO. It does not need to be split 7 ways. The money was left to the kids. Dad has nothing to do with it.
It’s a good thing that their mother made sure that her kids could have a good future when they came of age. I think that if she had left the father in charge of the money, it would have all been spent before the kids reached 18😟
@@chinavaughan6383 I doubt the money would have lasted until the kids were 8.
The science story. I feel for OP I made state choir and my parents didn't go to the concert. That was HS and I'm in my 50s now and it still hurts. They went to all my brothers events. I was also the "dumb" one in the family, took me many years to realize I am not dumb. High school barely graduated, college 3.75gpa. OP is great getting a prize in science! They should have split up and each gone to a ceremony.
The parents flaked and forgot about the science program, otherwise they would’ve had a conversation about being double-booked *before* the big night, not afterwards.
I made state band senior year in hs and my poor parents had to drive to Oswego, NY - twice! - to drop me off and then attend the concert. I was blown away by the state choir. I’m so glad you had a chance to participate, but a little heartbroken that they your parents didn’t attend. They missed a good show, I’m sure.
Last story: does the kid or reddit not understand what "Duh" means?
It literally means "tell us something we don't know".
That should have been his clue that they A) knew B) had known for awhile C) were perfectly OK with it as they have been all along.
It's the How dare you not make feel special logic. People just want to be either a victim or special. They can't be seen as normal.
@@k70freeman this FR, the only reason there was a “YTA” is because they didn’t make a big deal out of it like, bruh, someone coming out doesn’t have to be met with any kind of fanfare. Would they prefer him getting kicked out instead of the very underwhelmed response?
@@MageMalice they don't want it to be normalized, but rather worshiped.
@@k70freeman I think it’s less about being worshipped and more about having a story to tell. either a fairytale moment of love and acceptance or of conditional love and being a survivor. I remember over hearing a conversation at the mall once of a kid complaining how underwhelmed their parents had been smh.
@@MageMalice they make it a personality.
Last story: I'm going to say NTA for the parents. Yes, coming out can be important, but if you're already throwing out enough blatant signals so that anyone and everyone with an ounce of common sense can rightfully say, "yes, I know you are and it doesn't bother me.", then you really have no right to get upset
Learn to read your audience, and you'll save yourself heartache later. And before anyone asks, my daughter came out bi a few years ago. And she was comfortable in doing so because she was able to read her audience quite well.
If this young man needed reassurance that his parents loved him regardless who he loves, I think the fact that they already knew and weren’t surprised should give him that message. Yeah, he wanted a moment and their laughter kinda wrecked it, but if he thinks about it, knowing that his parents have been there and supporting him all along should really please him.
This is callous victim-blaming. It may have seemed obvious to the parents, but to the son it was still a secret and he was genuinely terrified. It wasn't his responsibility to "read the audience" at all; he's the kid in this situation. If anyone needed to "read the room", it's the parents who saw that their child was afraid and thought the appropriate response was 'haha, laugh at the stupid!'.
@@jamestown8398 Oh please, the equivalent of "OK that's nice" is the best case scenario anyone could ever hope for this scenario. There's evil about essentially saying "we don't care that you're gay".
@@jamestown8398 the son had been careless about his ways & his relationship with his BF yet his parents did not give him “the talk” earlier which a lot of LGBT teens had horror stories about. That said, it should be obvious to the son that his parents accepted & loved him regardless. It could be possible that the son is not very bright and had always thought that he was “very discreet” or thought his parents were stupid. I say that would be SO sixteen (not everyone can be though.)
This reaction by the parents should cause him to breathe a sigh of relief at least.
@@jamestown8398 Yes, he should've read the room before making his announcement. If he did, he would've realized that his parents already had figured out he was gay.
3. NTI. You are now the childs family, they are not. That's what legal adoption does.
Why is it overreacting to expect bf's friends to act like gentleman?
At least they could act like humans and not creepy randy animals.
They just said "duh" when he came out. Yeah he could have used more support than that but on the other hand he recieved unconditional love and complete acceptance from his parents. Sounds like the day my daughter announced she was bi and I said, "yeah? Me too." Or the day my other daughter announced she is vegetarian and I said, "ok, but I want to get you a book that explains protien sources for a vegetarian."
They didn't just say 'duh', they laughed at him. "but on the other hand he recieved unconditional love and complete acceptance from his parents" - no he didn't, he received mockery.
@@jamestown8398 he was literally sleeping in bed with another guy, what the fuck did he want a parade?
Kids are NOT cheaper by the dozen.
First Story: Wow, red flag. Holy shit. NTA, OP
Second Story: I admit I zoned out at the start of this and when the OP went "When his family heard about my career-" and thought "Wait is she a camgirl?" Wow, tasteless. And the boyfriend is a jackass for laughing along too.
Third Story: Oof, this one's not as clear-cut. Both of them are clearly in mourning. I think that asking for official adoption is crossing a line. Now if I were in OP's place I wouldn't be adverse to letting Amy be a part of the kid's life, with conditions. But I'd maintain sole custody over Josaphine.
Fourth Story: Wow, what terrible parents! They knew about this a month out! As that comment said, they could have had a parent at each event, or hell, TOLD the OP about the other ceremony! They couldn't have more obviously said "Sorry, First Child, but we don't give a fuck"
Fifth Story: Mm... I wouldn't go so far as to say they're full ASSHOLES but yeah, they did fumble things a bit. An apology is definitely in order for "Sorry we made you feel belittled, we just kind of always knew"
Last story: They're not assholes at all. Kid literally got the best possible outcome and he's complaining about it. Sounds to me like he expect some kind of award.
The way i came out to my grandparents (i came out bc i had been dating my gf for about 3 months at this point) was kinda similar and it almost felt robbed? I had this speech sorta prepared, i spent many knights scared that i would get kicked out so when i told my nan 'i have something to tell you tomorrow, its nothing bad im just telling you in advance' and she went 'is this about name, ur gf?' I felt put out and relived simultaniously. I dont think the parents should have responded with 'haha DUH of course ur gay' they should have just been like 'okay, tanks for tellin us'
Story 1: I'm going to need some information, especially about that letter. Why did he not read it until 18 months ago? Was it hidden from him? What did it say besides that? Did he not have any say in dealing with his wife's estate?
All that said, he's definitely not right. That money isn't his. It's for his 2 kids individually and independently of him. It sounds like she knew he'd do something like this.
Guessing he knew, but new wife just found out and is pressuring him to get the money for her kids to spend.
@@mattwho81 I wonder if luke has a history of cheating that op and the family did not know about but his wife did and that's why she did what she did the 'i am a loyal husband' comment is kinda wierd
Does it matter if it was hidden from him or not... Somebody knew he would pull this so nobody told him... No more info needed
It sounds like the funds were set up in a trust. Trusts are set up in specific ways with guidelines and criteria. OP was established as trustee and it sounds like her sister knew that she needed to protect her kids from Luke. Luke’s step kids and his kids with his new wife are not entitled to it. The funds were from the proceeds of OP and her sisters family NOT anything to do with Luke.
There is a lot of missing information. In this story and it feels very one sided. I could only imagine what his been through to find out his dead wife could have helped him out but didn't because she wanted to make sure her kid went to college and have money afterwards. But not help out to get them to college age. That's the biggest fu to the man who took care of her and the kids while she was dieing. That doesn't seem right at all. I feel the same way when i hear stories when the genders are reversed.
The last story is funny, because some people want *A Reaction* when they come out to their parents, but some parents these days are unfazed because they're accepting and prepared for their kids to be gay.
When I came out to my dad and step-mom, I sat them down like I was going to make some big announcement. When I said I was gay, they sat there, facial expressions completely unchanged, and said "okay." Not only were they okay with queer people, but they had their money on me being asexual (which isn't even one of the sexualities that gets a lot of attention).
That kid who came out to his parents was (in an awkward way) lucky to receive laughter from people who didn't think he was ever in the closet.
I've run that scenario in my head that if I had a kid and that kid announced they're gay. My response ends up just being "so?"
reason: still my kid no matter what, and it will change nothing.
The only things that would change the 'dynamic' would be if the kid ended up being an ass-hole, cheater or both.
Five children in three years? wow. If i were op i would tell luke that id give him money for a *snip*. Should clear the money troubles right up.
Nta. Ppl are so ignorant. Being a gymnast takes alot of work and dedication. Also what if OP started saying how much of a dead lay all these ppls sex lifes must be bc that are not gymnasts? I mean isn't that kinda what they're saying. OP your bf and and his friends need to grow up.
so for the gymnast story. OP needs to VERY SARCASTICLY say "Oh wow, you're so funny I have NEVER heard those jokes before" any time the flexibility jokes start flying
Boyfriend who let his friends disrespect her is a creep.
Well, boyfriend is a programmer, can't he "upload" some common sense and decency into the brains of his friends???
@@PurpleSunset82 - you'd think but it was a slow roll beta version and it's buggy.
@@PurpleSunset82- as a lifelong (40+ years) computer geek, I can tell you that IT is a hot bed of people with poor social skills. It's improved drastically. They all seem to have figured out basic personal hygiene now, and they are less socially inept. However, I spend a fair amount of time playing "IT Mom"... things like what is and isn't "funny", what to get as a gift, what makes a good date.. I should charge.
So bf is ok with degrading sexual comments tossed at his partner by his friends? At no point did it even dawn on him to defend or shut that crap down. Ex bf is a jerk.
Why isn’t he upset with his friends for embarrassing you
He probably wasn’t upset with what his friends said about his girlfriend because he agreed with them. Birds of a feather tend to flock together😒
3rd place story: As a father of two boys that are 10 years apart I feel sadness for you. Why couldn't one parent go to one event and the other to the others event and meet up at a resturant afterwards to celebrate win loose or draw? This is just bad parenting. Look, 3rd place is fine not first but fine. Like a commenter said, the teacher thought you were good enough that's why they entered you. My son won third place in an event and looked at me sheepishly sad. I looked at him and told him to hold his head up. 3rd place ok and I'm still proud because, you tried your best didn't you? He said yes. Now lets go to TGI Fridays for dinner. That's his favorite place to eat. That perked him up. So, he, my ex and I went to dinner. I don't know what was worse eating at TGI Fridays for the 100th time or see my ex wife. But a father has to do what a father has to do even if you don't want to.
Divide seven ways... I'd scream laugh at that.
Nah for gay one. That's how coming out should be. Ok n move on 😆
If the person coming out is terrified, then "We accept you and still love you" is the best response.
If he does sue the trust and looses he can be forced to repaid every dime also in most places
Story one in what universe would this money go to these extra kids. Why have a ton of kids you can’t afford? I would 100% get a lawyer and make sure that this idiot cannot waste the kids money. Yeah dead wife’s money should be for her own babies not these extras.
You being from a single parent family and turning out so lovely is the very reason you know the child will be ok with just you as a parent. Do as Diane wanted and ignore the nasty comments. Diane was right to trust you over her family it seems.
In high school my younger brother was a bit of a player; he'd have a new girlfriend every few months (my parents and I jokingly referred to him as our family Fonz).
In college, suddenly he had no girlfriend/s, which we found surprising but figured he might actually be working at studying over socializing.
We also joked between ourselves that maybe my brother was gay (all of us being theater folk, we would be fine with such, our having so many gay friends already). To our astonishment, a day or two later my brother brings home RJ, who's very pleasant and _very_ clearly gay.
While it turned out my brother was/is _not_ gay, and he'd just fallen in with RJ as besties, some months later I was driving RJ home. He was extremely nervous and I realized he was choosing them to Come Out to me. Sure enough he did, very concerned of what I'd think of him.
I assured him such didn't matter, as well as that both my parents and I knew he was gay the first time he'd stepped through our door.
RJ was a bit taken aback by this news, but understood we knew he had to be ready to Tell Us rather than our simply pointing out the obvious.
RJ is one of two Honourary Brothers (the other one "happens" to be gay as well).
Last story: NTA of all the horror stories I've heard of people coming out this is the ideal response!
coming out story nta y does coming out need to be a big thing it normal that like me sitting my mom down and saying I date girls. In my eye that the best thing in the world nothing change as it shouldn't. This was full accept n op shouldn't be put down for it.
Coming from someone nonheteronormative, coming out can be scary, particularly if the person you are coming out to is strongly religious. My sister is a conservative Christian and that group has a reputation for being anti LGBTQ+.
@@asmith8692 but u know your family best I know in his heart he knew his family knew. The way op talked it sound like the was already out
Definitely op’s sister had a reason to keep the children’s inheritance away from BIL.
Last story; In a perfect world every coming out announcement would be met with the same acceptance, no screaming, no religious hatred, no name calling, no fear or abuse. You're simply our child and we accept who you are, how you live, and who you love without the judgement, fear, or the threats of disowning that so many people have to face. Sure, as his parents you could have been more excited and emotional when your son told you his "big news" which I grant is monumental to him but it is heartwarming to see two parents love and accept their child without question. When your son stops and looks back on his life he will realize that his parents do support him and his life, but you and your husband should sit down and tell him that you love him, you are proud of the man he is becoming, and he will always be your son. Hearing those words will mean the world to him!
Yeah I don’t really understand why the kid was so upset 🤔 like your parents being all “yeah we knew already” and just going back to whatever they were doing is them basically saying “we obviously accept you because we already knew and haven’t judged you or kicked your boyfriend out”.
It’s the perfect “coming out” of those you want to tell already knowing, and not caring or judging or discriminating etc.
So many stories of people “coming out” and then getting kicked out of home or screamed at or physically abused, but this kid is unhappy he didn’t get a perfect “coming out video” to go on social media or something? 🤔 I just don’t get it 🤷♀️
OP don't feel bad. When I came out to family they reacted the same way. It was a glaring fact that I thought I had been proficiently hiding in the closet lol! At first I was insulted at my family's response, but after a while I understood how I really was openly me for a long time :) It takes time and maturity, which hopefully your son has the ability to develop the latter.
2nd story if it was meant as a joke, they'd stfu the moment they knew OP wasn't amused. But it wasn't a joke it's sexism...
op should have made a joke that she is happy bf isn't one of those creepy overweight programmers that still live in their mothers basements
Coming Out Story: NTA
so ... pretty much every homosexual person wants parents and the people they care about to be as supporting as OP and her husband are, the goal is pretty much to have homosexuality accepted as nothing special etc, but when do exactly that, treat it as nothing special they get called assholes? oO
I have good friend that cut people off over having his "coming out" be treated as something special
If I remember right he came out to a few friends and me while we were playing either LoL or WoW, the reaction to his "coming out" was something along the lines of:
"That explains a lot."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, your main is Taric and you also only play male elves in WoW."
I really don’t see what the big deal is in the last story considering the parents already knew about the son’s orientation. I mean it’s not like they had a negative reaction. Was the son expecting the parents to have a shocked Pikachu face?
Right? This reminds me of the scene in Madeas homecoming movie. The young man coming out was both shocked and disappointed in the response of " boy everyone knew." Parents who engage usually do know
@@charminglady2011 Exactly, I remember that movie. It was not shocking as a best friend dating the main character’s mom.
Everyone voting nta is looking at this purely from the parent's perspective.
Try looking at it from the son's perspective. He's 16, isn't quite aware of how much attention his parents are paying to him, and when he came out he was terrified. He didn't need to be laughed at (make no mistake, this is laughing at, not with), he needed to be comforted.
@@jamestown8398 Looking at it from the kids perspective paints him in a worse light than looking at it from the parents perspective. You're not stunning, you're not brave, you didn't get an award, you didn't get a party, BOO FUCKING HOO your parents love you and don't give a single shit that you're gay, get over it.
@@jamestown8398 He literally got caught multiple times in bed with another dude. Quit with your bullshit
Luke was having an affair and sister knew, she wanted to see to her children and keep her legacy from him and his affair partner
Mental health experts all say: Never make a major decision while grieving. You tell them, you won't make any decisions for one or two years; because YOU ARE STILL GRIEVING HER DEATH... unlike her own family.
The Mom's family emotionally abandoned her as a child; she grew up with YOUR FAMILY. IT WAS YOUR FAMILY WHO HELPED HER. YOU are more the Mom's family, than those half siblings. If you Put a Deadline on your decision, that will get them to back off. One to two years, will wear out their 'emotional needs' at this moment.
They aren't even his kids
Coming out: NAH, but some communication is needed.
For the first story there's a good point for at 2:37 the real question that not many seem to be asking is why exactly didn't the wife trust the husband enough to go over all this before she was gone, why did he have to find out later from a letter he happened to find?
The whole story gives off massive gold digger vibes especially the part about how he thinks that money should be used for his new family too when they have no connection to it.
2. You did not embarrass anyone. They embarrassed themselves. They should feel shame.
The gymnast story... "she should expect those sorts of comments" What?!
So if you have a large bust, you should expect to have comments about? So, so toxic. Dump him.
Last story: "Hi Gay, I'm dad"
Lesbian Here: I WISH my coming out story was the same as this kids’.
Not one dime belongs to Luke or his new children.
Those are not your sisters children.
Your sister know he would not take care of her children.
He just thinks it's his money but it was hers.
I sure he spent the life insurance one the next women.
#1 - NTA This is a clear demonstration of why money left to kids/vulnerable peoples are put into untouchable trusts to begin with. Dear Sister *knew* he couldn’t be trusted. Even if she never admitted it to herself, she knew.
Seriously, I bet there are tons of people who came out and wished for that last reaction. Yes, it's better to get reassurance and love instead of amusement and laughter. But the reason behind it is more important: they already knew and were fine with it. He's allowed to be sensitive about it, but in time, I would hope he'd be more relieved than anything else. They accept him. They're not kicking him out or swearing he will never touch a boy under their roof. This is a good thing, people. We need more parents who can laugh off these serious talks when the matter is no longer serious because they dealt with it ages ago in their own minds.
First story
Hang on
Are those children actually step children ie not his, or are they half siblings to the first two?
Makes a difference as they aren't even his children if they're step children and have zero blood connections to the first two
GET THE DETAILS STRAIGHT
Money came from MOTHER who died doesn’t matter if they are half or step. It’s the maternal family not paternal
@@amberleeannalee1999 That part of the story was a bit confusing though. I was trying to figure out if the new wife already had kids before she married the BIL.
Science award. 3rd place is still awesome. Don't let them make you feel unimportant.
Story 2: Maybe OP should bring her BF to meet her gymnast friends and have them pepper him with all the stereotypes of programmers being incel losers. Doesn't really matter, since he will never have to worry about her bedroom abilities again.
Add comparing sizes. Have the gymnasts speculate how small he is and how long he lasts in the bedroom. See how he likes it.
Op you are family that is what adopted means. Cut the ex out completely. Ex is trying to get back together and using the kid to do that.
Yes. Keep swimming.
It's better than quitting...
I hope the lady laying out knows she won’t get a tan in shade lol
5:03
"ive heard it all before"
that doesnt make it ok and you say you have a thick skin , maybe its time to clap back
"ha ha ha yeah having a flexible girlfriend is very practical. it balances out the lack of flexibility and reach-ability of other things :D ! *laughs hysterical because thats the best joke ever besides the obvious -gymnasts are so flexibel in bed - joke* /s
just give them equally crude and rude comments back , lets see how long its " just a joke " till you attack their menhood
Second story, I don't blame you, they had no right to do say that!!!
Diane: Get away from these people.
Does the kids kids get survivor benefits even after a sec marriage
Yes.
Story1, you did the right thing!! Not the idiot!!! Don't let him get his hands on it!!!
Story 4 op I feel did the right thing. Why? Because they promised and then didn't tell op and now he is left alone at the comptiotion. It was only one event and they couldn't be bothered to tell him they were not going to be there. They are sad parents.
With the third story you're not in the wrong here Diane basically gave the baby to you because she knew that if any members of her family got that baby they were going to make the baby's life a living hell. Think about it her siblings didn't want anything to do with her her parents basically enabled that behavior and then to make it even worse you were the only one that treated her as family. You dated her half sister and when her half sister became pregnant she didn't want a child and changed her mind the last year of it. Then with the stress of finals and exams she miscarriage. And to be honest I think the moment you got with Diane was the moment she saw once again that this woman who is the product of her family being destroyed it's getting something that she wanted. And now that you're raising her child Amy wants back in the fold. You're not in the wrong here but a lot of the family members just want Diane's child to be raised by them because they see her as a second chance to get at her without having to deal with her
Hi XO!
Baby story,tell Diana's family need to butt out!!! Keep them away!!!
The last story is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣
To the gymnastics one, no. You are not the AH.
You have to stand up to this type of BS.
As a LMT (Licensed Massage Therapist), the 'jokes' we get are sickening and downright rude.
'Happy Ending' jokes get old quick.
I now immediately ask them; "How is you insinuating I'm a prostitute funny?"
I then go into a spiel about how my job can be dangerous enough when it's legit because people continue to believe LMTs are prostitutes because of a few bad apples out there working under our profession name and these jokes actually do more damage because it continues to push and bring to the forefront the illegal activities done in seedy parlors under my profession name.
It's not funny.
It's not helpful.
Stand up for yourself. Don't put up with that sort of disrespect.
7 kids: NTA. Stay the course.
Parents: They're crappy.
I like a decade of “gay teen” dramas made the coming out moment more dramatic than it really needs to be for most kids. “Duh” is never how you should respond to your kid opening up about anything, but also most kids know if their parents are going to accept them or not. It’s hardly this big thing
Do not let Josie be raised by people who hated her mother and are trying to replace her mother with her sister who doesn’t even want children. 🤬 I think they want to erase Diane and reduce OP to an ATM.
Or she sees Josie as a way to get back with OP and trial run parenthood
Oh no. So sad you can’t trust your spouse to do the right thing after you are gone.
Last story:
Bruh i told my dad i was bi when skinning potatoes. He said okay and went outside to smoke. That was it.
I came out to mom just as casually and she got a bit quiet, though for a second then said "okay" and we went on with out thing.
I don't understand why coming out must be such a big things
@@SnowyWolborg not only young people. Plenty on 20+ year old throw a temper tantrum when you don't act like them being gay is the worlds 8th wonder
Gymnast: older guy is a bad match for OP.
The B-I-L didn’t need to have 5 more kids, and acting like he didn’t make that bed so why should he lay on it is disingenuous and patronizing. I think the dead sister knew her husband wasn’t good with money.
Im glad OPs sister put her in charge of her kids money. She knew her husband. The husband is an idiot. He keeps having kids he cant afford. He needs a damn vasectomy. Nta. Protect YOUR sisters kids.
Third place gets bronze in the Olympics. It's nothing to minimize.
Coming out story: he probably didn't think you took him seriously. Tell him that you laughed because you already knew and you thought he knew you knew. Tell him you love him and thank you for telling me
Nta. You and amy were not compatible. Diane left little joey to OP bc OP was a good person. Amy didn't want kids and now can't decide to come back. She sounds suspect and idk if I would trust she wouldn't be mean to the child.
Op isn’t the idiot. Chemistry is important and your parents need you to be home so one of you can be the scapegoat. Without OP there one of them has to be the LCD
I wouldn’t worry too much about him getting the money. My husband had life insurance that collects interest and with that money my daughter doesn’t have to worry monetarily for college. Nobody, even me( I made sure).”, can touch it. So if something happens to me it’s protected. The only people who know officially about it are her grandparents. Other family members know he had life insurance and think I’m a life insurance princes. I don’t say anything because it’s none of their business, I don’t have to explain myself, and it makes them crazy not knowing 😂
I would talk to a lawyer though just to double check he can’t touch it. With my daughter, I could petition the court for her money as her legal guardian if we’re struggling. He is their guardian so I would just check. Also, if you can and I know this is totally not my business, I would ask him if he needed help and I would take in my sisters kids. He’s saying they’re starving? So I’m sure that’s not the only way they’re neglected. I’m sorry but even an extra 5 healthy babies is a lot. They made their choices and it’s not little kids job to bail them out or support their grown ass parents and siblings.
1: The sister left that money for her own children, not her husband’s potential future kids with wife number two. She did the right thing. It’s obvious that if she gave her husband control over the money he would have spent it all and left nothing to the two that it was intended for. Nobody forced him to have five more children that he’d struggle to provide for.
Last story: What reaction was the kid hoping for? Lots of gay people wish that their parents reacted like that when they came out to them rather than being screamed at and disowned.
If any of those shares were accrued during the course of their marriage than the sister might have done this illegally.
That one with the gymnast right there that's a big red flag for the boyfriend to do that with his friends and not stick up for her and then try to twist and blame it on her, no... big red flag! Making fun of people is bad enough but doing it in a sexual way.. come on now that's worse than walking down the street when you get these awful cat calls cuz these are people you're supposed to trust people you're supposed to have in your life and yet they're doing that??? no! that is not right at all extremely disrespectful!
STORY #1
NTA. OP is safeguarding a financial future for her niece and nephew, at the request of her late sister. Sister's husband, meanwhile, is being a greedy monster. He openly admitted that he wanted to steal away his two eldest children's inheritances so he could spend it on his "new family". To be honest, part of me hopes the two kids go no-contact with their sperm-donor and step-relatives. Seriously, he's such a monster that I think it would have been better if he died and his wife survived.
STORY #2
NTA. A *good* boyfriend would have stood up for OP and told his gross friends to shut up. Honestly, why is OP with this jerk? Whatever she sees in him can be found in a man who'll also stick up for her.
STORY #3
NTA. Let's go down the list:
1. Diane wanted OP to be the baby's guardian, despite having other options. Giving the baby to anyone else would violate her wishes.
2. Amy lied in the past about wanting kids to trick OP into a relationship with her. Whose to say she's not lying now?"
3. Amy bullied Diane for most of her life, only reconnecting with her in the last few years of it. It's entirely possible she'll bully the baby too as a living reminder of Diane.
4. "The baby needs a mom" is false. It assumes women are natural nurturers (something Amy herself should know is untrue) and that men are incapable of nurturing. It's the line of reason anti-LGBT groups use to prevent same-sex couples from adopting. "Don't give the baby to two men - it needs a mom!"
Not only should OP not give the baby to Amy, but he also shouldn't let any of Diane's blood-relatives have any contact with the baby. No visits, no invitations to parties, no birthday cards, nothing. Explain exactly why to the baby as she grows up ("These people may be related to you by blood, but they hurt your mother a lot while she was alive").
STORY #4
NTA. OP shouldn't be fine with the situation at home. Having a "golden child" is abuse of all the children! OP should try to get legally emancipated from his parents and look into living with the friend full time.
STORY #5
YTA. It's clear OP didn't mean harm, but this moment clearly wasn't funny to the son. He was terrified, wondering if his parents would still love or want him, and the impression he got is that his parents think his fear is funny - or, worse yet, that they think gays deserve to be mocked.
OP needs to apologize to son and have a heart-to-heart.
So i never had the stressful experience of having to come out, i wouldn't want a big party. I would want to be normal, whatever that is. However, i can understand why the Son would.
NAH as you are the parent every kid wants
Why would his dying wife trust that he would be a responsible trustee of their 2 kids inheritance?? Yeah he is able to move on have and continue his life but that doesnt mean the inheritance for the 2 kids should be used on the new family cuz dad and stepmom couldn't be bothered to work and decided to have more kids that they couldnt support.
By the sounds of things sister knew what would happen if she'd left it to him. Kinda sus how quickly he moved on.
1st story: I guess it'll be difficult to make sure that the right kids benefit from that money. Now that their dad knows of their inheritance, he can and likely will rely on that inheritance in his financial planning. I.e. he may end up saving a college fund for the OTHER kids only and to rely on the inheritance to pay for the college of those kids that are entitled to it.
The Gymnast and the Crude Bedroom Jokes: Sister! Can you not see, he took you to that party TO SHOW OFF. TO ENJOY THE ENVY OF HIS FRIENDS AND THE SEX TOY HE IS DATING. This relationship will go nowhere, because YOU ARE THERE FOR HIS PLEASURE AND NOTHING ELSE. Don't waste a lot of time trying to fix this; he showed his true colors; it's now time for you to give him what he deserves: a glorious time with a Gymnast, who knew there were better fish in the sea.
#1 nta. She set her kids future not his.
#2. I would say "I thought nerds were supposed to be smart".
Story #2: Boyfriend is trying to appear to be in control of you. He doesn't respect you.
The golden child story...that was me. I was a theater kid and I think maybe they went to maybe 3 things totally out of my four years in high school. But with my sister it was everything she did with matching band. I was not a priority ever and my mom wonders why I am low contact.
1st story tell ex bil you need a DNA test. Any kid that share her DNA are in the will. And any kid that doesn't are excluded. Her kids only.
One question is story 1- assuming the other children were not steps, why did the father go on to have FIVE MORE CHILDREN when he obviously could not afford them?
He probably could have afforded 5 able bodied children, though not in high style, but he and the new wife had only three able bodied children and two with chronic issues. Thus if they are the U.S., even with the patch work of government help, the children are hugely expensive. 5 children in five years indicates 2 single births and 1 triple birth or 2 twin births and 1 single birth.
1st story: BILs new wifey opened a letter meant for the boys when they came of age..... That's the only way the delay makes sense.