When I was a teenager, I would not care about time so much, I would play a game for hours at a time, not even care about completing the game, just wondering around. Same with friends, I'd just hang out until we decide to go home. Now that I'm in my late 20's, I feel like I need to compartmentalize my time, like I need to do something productive for most of it, have fun for a couple of hours and do whatever else I need to do and then the day is over, its like having friends needs to be "scheduled" in between all that, even if they're close. Truth is, after awhile, most people you meet just scatter around the world and you only keep in touch when you need to, so not very often, because if I had to stay in touch with every one of my friends who isn't local, I'd spend every hour of every day texting people and its just not something you want to do. Having all your friends locally is very rare, its like a random spawn on the map, if your location is good, you stay there, but most likely it won't be, so you move, same with your friends, so its very unlikely for you and all your best friends to be spawned in the perfect location from the start so you can stay there.
Late 20s here too, just finished my master's and entering the workforce slowly. I struggle with the same issue too. My old friends have actually scattered all over Europe and my new friends are unavailable most of the times. I fell like i really need to make time to meet any friends. Like if i want to get out and drink a beer i actually have to either drop some work for the next day or just don't return home in the noon break.
Honestly, I'll one-up you on the "pathetic", this clip almost got a tear out of me. I'm in the exact same position (except with no wife/gf, so I'm literally alone most of my time) and was feeling super conflicted about it. Seeing someone else (and a cool guy at that) go through it as well sort of validated my existence, in a way. Thanks, lmao.
Yeah, idk. As a fellow old person all i can say is that making friends after you leave school becomes unreasonably harder, but as you get older, real friends do not ever become less important. Maybe the reality of not having close personal friends around him constantly, like he used to have in the shaolin temple, is catching up to Ranton and he has a hard time processing it. Not sure, that's just my 2 cents.
@@RealRantwo Despite not fulfillimg the desire, you seem like you're fine at the moment tbh. You said it yourself that "wanting to WANT to have friends" is the concern. Its nice to know that a convienient person to spend time with is always around, but not having that isn't necessarily a problem. You're ok on your own but you also know you could be more social if you wanted to. I'd say thats a healthy spot to be at.
Honestly, if anything, i respect you for having standards and keeping to it. I think your problem may not be that you don't have friends nearby, I think its that youtube is different from most people's life in the sense that you don't have conversations with people regularly (closest thing is chatt but its not the same as talking to someone). Like people who go to work or to school are interacting a lot with other humans even if they arent actually friends, or even if they are friends once they change jobs or move from that school that friendship ends. So to me you say you're happy in your life because you genuinely are but you maybe miss that regular faces kinda thing (I think its called proximity friendship)
The friendships don’t always end when you leave school or change your job though, there’s a difference between a personal friendship and a work friendship
@@Saber23 Yeah, i do agree. But from my experience, unless you stay physically close/in the same space with any friends you made, it will be difficult to have lots of hangouts or spontaneity in your hangouts. Its also def gonna take more active planning and time management to meet/play with them. Plus, to go back to youtube being different from other jobs/schooling, it is much harder to have interactions with lots of people where you are on the same level, so it is still harder to make friends (you have a power dynamic with viewers/sponsors/managers and its not always easy to just meet and talk to fellow youtubers, esp not without viewer/subscriber comparisons or a quid pro quo relationship) (also man i cant believe this was 2 years ago already)
I feel the exact same way. Crazy how social media and especially these weird covid times messed up our social interactions. A lot of people realized they were fine by themselves and are now... well... should I be fine by myself?
Same here lol i have "friends" but they're more like acquaintances, the 2 close friends I have are far away and we meet maybe 2 times a year. But it's fine, I find being alone much better than going out and trying to make new friends. For me, the less friends I have, the truer the friendship and the closer we are.
Thank you for talking about your view on drugs/alcohol. It feels bad to say, but when I see people using substances that make it easier to waste time and waste life, it immediately depresses me. My high school/college friends bring that kinda stuff out every time they want to get together, and it makes me feel like I’m wasting my life too. I know the problem is with me, but it is nice to know there are others out there experiencing the same thing. Thanks for all the content.
Bruh why is this so relatable 😂😂😂 couldn't have said it better myself, u realize you have no friends around but lowkey know you're okay alone💀. Every time I try and change that I just feel comfortable to go back to what I'm use to, just chill on my own with my gaming ting.
@@RealRantwo Then it's time to add a new hobby to the list, start lifting some heavy shiz and who knows, you might find a gym bro. Happens to me every now and then but we never exchanged numbers. A buff dude in the gym approached me recently, thought we'd be friends but he asked me if I believed in Jesus Christ. So I guess having a lot of friends isn't something that'll happen with everyone
It's crazy how much I can relate with your statement: "I want to want to have friends." I love solitude, but at the same time I wouldn't consider myself as introverted either. Meeting new faces or old pals excites me, but it's not something that's fundamental in my life. Since childhood I've been used to having people come and go in my life because my family moved around for like 3 times until we settled down. But then, after highschool, this time it was only myself and not my family, I moved to another city to pursue college (about to graduate at this exact moment). I have friends (or ex-friends?) whom I don't speak often to anymore. I don't speak with my old friends, unless I need something or simply have something to say or share with them. And for that to happen is heavily affected by distance. The closer they are physically, the more I would naturally think about them. I've never felt the necessity to reconnect with people just for the sake of reconnecting, if that makes sense. It's not because I don't care about them though because I love my friends. This was also similar to the main reason why I broke up with my ex a month ago. Our relationship became LDR since I moved out and she couldn't really handle it. Yet, surprisingly the break up didn't make me as sad as I thought I would be. I've been constantly questioning myself whether this is normal or not. I still don't know for sure, but all I'm trying to say is that it feels so comforting to know that someone has a similar perception regarding relationships with people and solitude.
I’m the same, I lived in 7 countries in 4 continents by the age of 18 and so whilst I have a lot of international friends I chat with from time to time, I don’t have anyone close within a few hundred kilometres now. I don’t mind though, sometimes I want friends but I have no actual desire to go and make any. Makes life easier when you think about it.
The most I ever had was 1 best friend and 3 close friends. Now I only have 1 of those close friends left and no one else, and it taught me a lot about needing to be happy with and without friends. You need to make yourself your own best friend to be able to be happy alone. But it is nice to have a friend that's always there for you, especially geographically.
most of our friendships in life are a result of proximity. We naturally become friends with the people around us doing the same daily things in life that have the same schedules, I have noticed multiple times a friend group of mine drifted apart when the common things that held us together fell away. It's just a process of life and finding friends that are in contact with you most of the time regardless whether your life paths are on the same route or not is a rare thing imo. School, gaming, sport, college, work all separate friends groups I had once upon a time that lasted 4 or 5yrs each and eventually we drifted apart because the one thing we all paritcipated in no longer existed. I'm in the same boat as Ranton, my most consistent friend group is one that is scattered all over the country. Sucks that we see each other rarely but we chat almost everyday on our whatsapp group for like almost 7 years now.
I feel the EXACT. SAME. WAY 🙏🏿 Had a really great talk with my therapist about this and I'm learning to accept that we're all different and not wanting to spend all this time around other people is O.K...
I feel you, got my heart broken one month ago and after that I realized how alone I really was. Sure I have some friends but they are either living far away or they are busy with their own lives and partners. I’m fine by myself most of the time but when you lost someone you loved and winter is coming all you want is a friend by your side.
I get what he talks about, that's what I always felt. The problem with this mindset shows up when you get to 40. I'm not talking about loneliness, being around people is exhausting for me. It's also fun and exciting, but ultimately I crave to be alone after some time, to recharge in a way. I enjoy being alone, but the absence of meaningful connections is what will kill your spirit in a long run. At some point you either become bitter, or you realize that life has no meaning without other people, and then it's terrible to feel regret and know you can't do anything about it. PS: also, social skill is an actual skill that you lose in time, the same way you lose your form and agility without training. And I'm not talking about being awkward in you 40s (which would be terrible also btw), more about the loner mindset that develops over time of not having a need to filter, it becomes "Ah fuck it, say it, who cares, let's see what happens". Or the fact that not communicating enough with other people, you lose the skill to argue in a way, because in your head you always win your discussions, and everybody makes sense, but in reality almost no one gives a shit about q-anon, videogames, kung-fu, or whatever you're into, you'll just stat alienating people with your shit, that you concocted after weeks on the internet and years of being in your own head.
Die besten Freunde sind die Leute mit denen man sich sehr gut versteht und immer zufällig anruft um sich zu treffen, aber man immer mit denen über alles diskutieren kann, da sie verschiedene Meinungen haben.
You don't need to drink alcohol in order to socialise with people who drink alcohol. My workaround for it is that I simply order carbonated water with ice and lime and/or lemon 🍋 at the bar when I am out with an alcohol consuming crowd
I'm in the same boat rantoni, observing the groups of friends I'm in you can see people are either lone wolf type, bubbly-make-small-talk type people who you think are your "friend" but are just that friendly with everyone, and people who have best friends from when they were 3 years old. It's easier to see the grass greener but they all have downsides, not looking to others for help, consciously realising all their friends are shallow, or feeling locked into following & being influenced by their best friends. Just wear your unicoloured t-shirts and be yourself bro. You can't depend on me as a friend but at least let me friendly let you know your personality has inspired me, thanks (P.s im stealing your idea of giving away clothes and getting bland clothes I can just throw on cuz i just don't care either..) (P.s.s I don't usually write comments this long and actually post them, a special subject tho, my shout into the void)
Didn’t expect this subject but props to you for opening it up. I totally understand what you mean when you said “I want to want to have friends”. I believe that’s something worth investing your time and energy to. I’m in my 30’s and a significant number of life decisions I had to make were greatly helped by my friends. I think it’s important because real friends tell you when you’re about to do something stupid or tells you which decision is wiser. I definitely didn’t immediately click with my friends though, had to put in the effort to develop it just like any relationship. I hope you’ll find real friends because I say they’re definitely vital in my life now.
I honestly can relate to this a lot. Since I work from home too and have the same mentality when it comes to drinking, Fußball etc, I always struggled with this. Nowadays I mostly keep in touch with my friends via Teamspeak/Discord and play games with them. So yeah I can relate, I am really happy but I also would think it could be great having a friend more close by. But I also feel like its just harder to make new friends, like I recently joined a kickboxing/boxing gym and there are some cool people there, but actually putting in the effort to potentially make a "real" friend there, oof.
It's crazy how this clip came out at this point in time! Because of pandemic, I feel like I've become even more introverted and really really am careful and intentional about how I spend time with. It's also possible that I'm being really socially selective, but after finishing my first year of full-time work as a music teacher, I'm starting to realize how hard it is to meet new people when you're "adulting." I related so hard with Ranton when he says he has high standards for people. I think we're starting to realize how valuable time is at this point in our lives, and if we meet someone who doesn't really feel like someone who we can be super tight with, we will not find it worthwhile to spend time with them. On the low, I crave community IRL, but nowadays feeling deep connections with people feels like such a rare occurrence. I've just been gaming and going to the gym for workouts during my summer break, and it feels like a challenge to push myself to go outside and do something different and meet people. I wonder if anyone else feels similarly.
Bro i think everyone NEEDS friends. Even if you feel happy alone, friends just add to that. Being alone gets tolerable after a while because we get used to it, but humans are at the core, social animals. We are not meant to stay home all day. We are meant to laugh and shoot the shit with friends. I realise that friends eventually move out, but that's an opportunity to make more friends. Unfortunately life keeps going on and on, we can't stop it, people come and go.
This is too relatable, man. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just trying to convince myself of that I should feel lonely or if I actually do feel depressed by not having any friends I could call on at any given time. I had this whole wall of text written here, ready to send, but decided to scratch that. Like, why the fukc am I sharing this with total strangers under some random yT video instead of talking to a therapist or something. And would anyone even give a damn? Just this one thought. Once you're out of your twenties and thus out of school, university and such, it gets progressively harder to maintain friendships and making new ones even more so. Now, actually thinking and writing about this now does make me feel a little sad and lonely. Quite pathetic at the same time. Am I really content with being an introvert loner or am I just fooling myself into believing I'm content for whatever reason?
It resonates with me a lot, because I also don't have any friends in my geolocation. All of them moved somewhere else, but I'm not particularly sad about it, because i still talk to them. But the problem is, I have problems with making new friends in work - not that I'm unlikeable, most people like me, but I don't feel like i can connect with them on the same level - like you mentioned example with beer and talking sports. I had a bell curve of friends from having 3-5 in early teens, to having 100+ in my early twenties to back having 3-5 in my early 30s. Bottomline is that i want to play games and be left the fuck alone.
Can absolutely relate. I think it's not a bad thing and u shouldn't feel bad about it. I don't like alkohol or drugs either and today its really hard to find "friends" for me. Most of the times it's better to be just cool with people and and be alone than hang out with the wrong people just to make friends, who are available.
The People that do have many friends are actually just networking. They want to have them in their pockets in case they become successful in life for future favors. It is what it is. Gl finding a genuine individual Mr. Anton
As Jim carrey said: "Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realise how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy." Imo even if you don't feel like it, you should go out with your wife to make new acquaintance or friends.
I feel you, eversince the pandemic started connection with friends has lessened. In a good way it's peaceful and quiet but in the bad side of it I'm finding myself to be wrapped in loneliness at times and needs to be sociable for a whole day just go back again at what ever i'm doin peacefully.
The thing u said bout alcohol + drugs + childhood + not like me.. I m away now.. Is so damnnn relatable.. Tht makes u n me kinddaa friends.. Love u brada
Ranton, real advice, make children, you'll have small friends to be silly with and you'll get new friends by meeting organically people with kids too that are your age. New steps in life creates the best opportunities ;)
From as long as I can remember I could only have one close friend. I could social with everyone but I only had one close friend at a time. Now in my twenties I've become comfortable like this.
I mean, if you are comfortable being by yourself then there is definitely nothing wrong with that. Given your personality we've seen all this time, you seem to be a charismatic fellow. People won't be available all the time and you should be okay with it. Just try to maintain any friendships that you have for as long as you can.
my man has the craziest takes, always an adventure. I do get the friends thing tho, there are people that just sit together and talk about games and leaks and shit like that, you just have to find them near you
Pretty much the same here, thought it would change in uni but while there are people I get along with well, I don't really wanna spend time with them outside of uni. Interestingly I just looked at mortality rates of people with lacking social contacts today lol
I mean I get it, Rantoni. I was never a big friend person neither and I don't feel bad about it and every once in a while I feel like I should? Or something like that. But I don't. I have connections with people. I have a fair amount of acquaintances and my "real" friends are like yours. Far away lmao. But honestly, I like it this way. I feel like it may just be the natural progression of an introverted person. You keep very close relationships and feel satisfied even if they aren't close. You make some time when the stars align to hang out and kinda just vibe until the next opportunity presents itself.
Extremely relatable. Ever since I've graduated high school. I've slowly lost contact with the friends that I did have in High School. And already have maybe a handful that I talk to, but never in person. More just on discord where I talk to them, never really being something where I can actually have the chance to talk irl.
I sometimes think about just having my wife and no friends....then I continue doing what I'm doing.. But honestly where I live there isn't many people into magic the gathering or video games. Mostly drugs and alcohol and I do neither
I was thinking about this just a couple days ago. I have the exact same view and position with friends etc, i have friends, but they either moved to another state or they like going out partying more then doing other thingd that do not involve alcohol etc.
i feel like friends only exist during school, after that most people just become acquaintances or something like that. I knew tons of people and had hella friends but nowadays those people became full-time normies that i can't relate to anymore, and many of them don't even talk to each other. I only have pretty much one friend now and the guy is a complete recluse. This whole thing sucks for me because i really like to keep people company and be around people that have things in common.
i have something similar going on in my life rn like i have friends their just all school friends like i see them at school and we all but as soon as school is over i just go home and sit in my room and play video games watch anime read manga the whole time and never go out until i have to
I moved to Copenhagen one year ago and in that time I have seen my friends about 4 times when ever I came back to my parents place. I simply don’t have time to find new friends because of my studies and I honestly don’t want to look for new friends. All in all, I'm content and just enjoy a life of solitude
Loneliness can be comfy and extremely addicting. Whatever your stance on alcohol, I do think going outside to talk (and maybe drink) with people irl is good for you. When you live alone for a long time you start living inside your own head (on the moon even), and going outside will pull you back down to Earth. There might be moments where you think "wtf, this is bad, why am I here?!", at the end you will think "wow, good thing that I came here." It will feel refreshing. And then you go back and stay in the comfort of your home for another year. The cycle repeats.
Man thank you so much, really, this helped me a lot. I don't have anybody who's like me either. I work out, I don't drink, and I just feel like an outsider. I know this sounds super edgy, just wanted to say thank you, no kizzy.
I have couple of friends I see maybe a few times a month. Other than that I don't socialize much unless I have to. My girl and brothers are the only people I might talk to on the daily. So I feel you lol. Same with the alcohol thing. My friends also love to drink so when they go out for drinks or wanna hang out and drink, I just don't go. So I might not even see them for a long time cause of that. You right though, I am okay with having a lot of personal time. It gives me time to game, read and workout.
its typical for ppl tbh. im also kinda... alone but i have really good close friends that are in other cities after we finished education.... its sad. school times are the best times in ppls lives
I don't know Ranton's whole life story but from what he's shared it does kinda make sense. He hated his bank job, so I doubt he made long-lasting relationships there. And most of his friends he made while training Shaolin live in other parts of the world. And then he streams, trains and shoots videos all day, so he's not in a position to interact with new people. It's tough to make/mainting friends as an adult
you start noticing that you dont have friends in real life when you have to pay someone to help you with a simple 2 person task ( e.g. building a large IKEA bed)
Making friends and/or a partner is a hazardous thing, and organic at its core. No matter what you like and believe in, the happening of you two clicking/vibing is gonna happen regardless. The issue, however, is not noticing that or CHOOSING not to proceed with it to form a bond.
Man, I feel what Ranton mentions here and I struggle with this same shit with my girlfriend. We just don’t or can’t relate with most people our age, and specifically me, I’m not into alcohol or any drugs, and I just can really enjoy my time with people who do it in front of me. I too would rather know more about the person, see what they are about and hopefully get excited together about similar stuff or share different perspectives. To be Honest Ranton, I feel like you and I would get along xD my girlfriend is also Chinese born in Germany, and I’m currently living here with her xD if you still need a friend after a year, let me know, I’ll come hang out with you no problem!
I am sitting outside alone reading ultimate Spiderman. Be like Keanu be kind to everyone and you'll have nice interactions. That's what I was told by an old coworker.
I feel like my 'friends' are slipping away from me. We also don't have a lot of common interests. At least I still have my siblings that I can talk to from time to time. Their presence is even enough to warrant an appreciation from me.
i have one friend that has become my brother, in my eyes, over the last 30 years. there used to be four of us, but things change and life happens. to be honest, one is enough because i find true friendship to be too exhausting when there are a lot of people.
When I was a teenager, I would not care about time so much, I would play a game for hours at a time, not even care about completing the game, just wondering around. Same with friends, I'd just hang out until we decide to go home. Now that I'm in my late 20's, I feel like I need to compartmentalize my time, like I need to do something productive for most of it, have fun for a couple of hours and do whatever else I need to do and then the day is over, its like having friends needs to be "scheduled" in between all that, even if they're close. Truth is, after awhile, most people you meet just scatter around the world and you only keep in touch when you need to, so not very often, because if I had to stay in touch with every one of my friends who isn't local, I'd spend every hour of every day texting people and its just not something you want to do. Having all your friends locally is very rare, its like a random spawn on the map, if your location is good, you stay there, but most likely it won't be, so you move, same with your friends, so its very unlikely for you and all your best friends to be spawned in the perfect location from the start so you can stay there.
Man very true
@@RealRantwo don't be sad Rantoni :'(
Late 20s here too, just finished my master's and entering the workforce slowly. I struggle with the same issue too. My old friends have actually scattered all over Europe and my new friends are unavailable most of the times. I fell like i really need to make time to meet any friends. Like if i want to get out and drink a beer i actually have to either drop some work for the next day or just don't return home in the noon break.
Couldn't say any better
Na won't read this shit. But good for you.
Honestly, I'll one-up you on the "pathetic", this clip almost got a tear out of me. I'm in the exact same position (except with no wife/gf, so I'm literally alone most of my time) and was feeling super conflicted about it. Seeing someone else (and a cool guy at that) go through it as well sort of validated my existence, in a way. Thanks, lmao.
If you haven't already, get yourself a dog homie
@@Guerrilla_Grodd Guaranteed way to get a best-friend!
@@Guerrilla_Grodd true lol
“Validated my existence” what do you mean by that? Did you straight up think that because you were lonely you shouldn’t have even existed?
Yeah, idk. As a fellow old person all i can say is that making friends after you leave school becomes unreasonably harder, but as you get older, real friends do not ever become less important.
Maybe the reality of not having close personal friends around him constantly, like he used to have in the shaolin temple, is catching up to Ranton and he has a hard time processing it.
Not sure, that's just my 2 cents.
Idk even in shaolin I didn't have many very close friends. Most people come on go within a few weeks/months
I've grown accustomed to seeing people in my life come and go. I just care that I did my best to be me around them. :)
@@RealRantwo
Despite not fulfillimg the desire, you seem like you're fine at the moment tbh. You said it yourself that "wanting to WANT to have friends" is the concern. Its nice to know that a convienient person to spend time with is always around, but not having that isn't necessarily a problem. You're ok on your own but you also know you could be more social if you wanted to. I'd say thats a healthy spot to be at.
@@RealRantwo why the hell people would make friends with a los3r twitch streamer y'all just sit in the same place talk bunch of bullsh*t
@@gaminginvirinch3339 you ok my guy? Lol
Honestly, if anything, i respect you for having standards and keeping to it. I think your problem may not be that you don't have friends nearby, I think its that youtube is different from most people's life in the sense that you don't have conversations with people regularly (closest thing is chatt but its not the same as talking to someone). Like people who go to work or to school are interacting a lot with other humans even if they arent actually friends, or even if they are friends once they change jobs or move from that school that friendship ends.
So to me you say you're happy in your life because you genuinely are but you maybe miss that regular faces kinda thing (I think its called proximity friendship)
That's actually quite interesting. I'm going to think about that
The friendships don’t always end when you leave school or change your job though, there’s a difference between a personal friendship and a work friendship
@@Saber23 Yeah, i do agree. But from my experience, unless you stay physically close/in the same space with any friends you made, it will be difficult to have lots of hangouts or spontaneity in your hangouts. Its also def gonna take more active planning and time management to meet/play with them.
Plus, to go back to youtube being different from other jobs/schooling, it is much harder to have interactions with lots of people where you are on the same level, so it is still harder to make friends (you have a power dynamic with viewers/sponsors/managers and its not always easy to just meet and talk to fellow youtubers, esp not without viewer/subscriber comparisons or a quid pro quo relationship)
(also man i cant believe this was 2 years ago already)
I feel the exact same way. Crazy how social media and especially these weird covid times messed up our social interactions. A lot of people realized they were fine by themselves and are now... well... should I be fine by myself?
Very good way to put it
i think you're living in a bubble maybe. the world is still moving, just not for him or you i suppose
Covid had zero impact on my social life lmao.
POV: Real Chinese Shaolin Wariorr Monk Disciple tries to convince himself that he has friends for 8 minutes straight
L + Friendless + Lame + Ratio + Ritort + Cry
+ youre white
+ beta + broke + ugly
Ahaahahahahah broooo rantons the goat no Matta whaaatt
Common aadipie L blo, respectfully
Making new friends takes so much work, good luck if you decide to try!
its easy when youre a kid bcuz kids dont care about looks etc. when youre mature. EVERYONE is judging from the start
@@ImotekhtheStormlord-tx2it yes and also we are more anxious and hesitant as adults to reach out to people
Same here lol i have "friends" but they're more like acquaintances, the 2 close friends I have are far away and we meet maybe 2 times a year. But it's fine, I find being alone much better than going out and trying to make new friends. For me, the less friends I have, the truer the friendship and the closer we are.
Thank you for talking about your view on drugs/alcohol. It feels bad to say, but when I see people using substances that make it easier to waste time and waste life, it immediately depresses me. My high school/college friends bring that kinda stuff out every time they want to get together, and it makes me feel like I’m wasting my life too. I know the problem is with me, but it is nice to know there are others out there experiencing the same thing. Thanks for all the content.
DUUUUUDE, THAT IS EXACTLY how I feel. Word for word. It's insanely accurate.
Bruh why is this so relatable 😂😂😂 couldn't have said it better myself, u realize you have no friends around but lowkey know you're okay alone💀. Every time I try and change that I just feel comfortable to go back to what I'm use to, just chill on my own with my gaming ting.
But what do we do if the gaming ting loses appeal
@@RealRantwo Then it's time to add a new hobby to the list, start lifting some heavy shiz and who knows, you might find a gym bro. Happens to me every now and then but we never exchanged numbers. A buff dude in the gym approached me recently, thought we'd be friends but he asked me if I believed in Jesus Christ. So I guess having a lot of friends isn't something that'll happen with everyone
3:25 LOL it's my entire teenage life in a nutshell. It always made them say that I'm a boring person because, I don't know how to have fun.
It's crazy how much I can relate with your statement: "I want to want to have friends." I love solitude, but at the same time I wouldn't consider myself as introverted either. Meeting new faces or old pals excites me, but it's not something that's fundamental in my life. Since childhood I've been used to having people come and go in my life because my family moved around for like 3 times until we settled down. But then, after highschool, this time it was only myself and not my family, I moved to another city to pursue college (about to graduate at this exact moment). I have friends (or ex-friends?) whom I don't speak often to anymore. I don't speak with my old friends, unless I need something or simply have something to say or share with them. And for that to happen is heavily affected by distance. The closer they are physically, the more I would naturally think about them. I've never felt the necessity to reconnect with people just for the sake of reconnecting, if that makes sense. It's not because I don't care about them though because I love my friends. This was also similar to the main reason why I broke up with my ex a month ago. Our relationship became LDR since I moved out and she couldn't really handle it. Yet, surprisingly the break up didn't make me as sad as I thought I would be. I've been constantly questioning myself whether this is normal or not. I still don't know for sure, but all I'm trying to say is that it feels so comforting to know that someone has a similar perception regarding relationships with people and solitude.
I’m the same, I lived in 7 countries in 4 continents by the age of 18 and so whilst I have a lot of international friends I chat with from time to time, I don’t have anyone close within a few hundred kilometres now. I don’t mind though, sometimes I want friends but I have no actual desire to go and make any. Makes life easier when you think about it.
Ok
The most I ever had was 1 best friend and 3 close friends.
Now I only have 1 of those close friends left and no one else, and it taught me a lot about needing to be happy with and without friends. You need to make yourself your own best friend to be able to be happy alone. But it is nice to have a friend that's always there for you, especially geographically.
most of our friendships in life are a result of proximity. We naturally become friends with the people around us doing the same daily things in life that have the same schedules, I have noticed multiple times a friend group of mine drifted apart when the common things that held us together fell away. It's just a process of life and finding friends that are in contact with you most of the time regardless whether your life paths are on the same route or not is a rare thing imo. School, gaming, sport, college, work all separate friends groups I had once upon a time that lasted 4 or 5yrs each and eventually we drifted apart because the one thing we all paritcipated in no longer existed.
I'm in the same boat as Ranton, my most consistent friend group is one that is scattered all over the country. Sucks that we see each other rarely but we chat almost everyday on our whatsapp group for like almost 7 years now.
Don't feel bad, perfectly ok with enjoying being alone. And... a lot of people suck anyways lol
Spoke my words XD
I feel the EXACT. SAME. WAY 🙏🏿 Had a really great talk with my therapist about this and I'm learning to accept that we're all different and not wanting to spend all this time around other people is O.K...
I feel you, got my heart broken one month ago and after that I realized how alone I really was. Sure I have some friends but they are either living far away or they are busy with their own lives and partners.
I’m fine by myself most of the time but when you lost someone you loved and winter is coming all you want is a friend by your side.
I get what he talks about, that's what I always felt. The problem with this mindset shows up when you get to 40.
I'm not talking about loneliness, being around people is exhausting for me. It's also fun and exciting, but ultimately I crave to be alone after some time, to recharge in a way. I enjoy being alone, but the absence of meaningful connections is what will kill your spirit in a long run. At some point you either become bitter, or you realize that life has no meaning without other people, and then it's terrible to feel regret and know you can't do anything about it.
PS: also, social skill is an actual skill that you lose in time, the same way you lose your form and agility without training. And I'm not talking about being awkward in you 40s (which would be terrible also btw), more about the loner mindset that develops over time of not having a need to filter, it becomes "Ah fuck it, say it, who cares, let's see what happens". Or the fact that not communicating enough with other people, you lose the skill to argue in a way, because in your head you always win your discussions, and everybody makes sense, but in reality almost no one gives a shit about q-anon, videogames, kung-fu, or whatever you're into, you'll just stat alienating people with your shit, that you concocted after weeks on the internet and years of being in your own head.
As someone whos always had a small group of trusted friends I totally feel this. I love my mates but I do need my own space.
As long as you have a wife or a girl or a partner of some kind in your life its fine.
Nah I need some bro time
@@toastedcrack8105 spot on
Die besten Freunde sind die Leute mit denen man sich sehr gut versteht und immer zufällig anruft um sich zu treffen, aber man immer mit denen über alles diskutieren kann, da sie verschiedene Meinungen haben.
You don't need to drink alcohol in order to socialise with people who drink alcohol.
My workaround for it is that I simply order carbonated water with ice and lime and/or lemon 🍋 at the bar when I am out with an alcohol consuming crowd
I think the problem isn't that he doesn't drink and they do, it's that he doesn't like being around people while they're drinking
I'm in the same boat rantoni, observing the groups of friends I'm in you can see people are either lone wolf type, bubbly-make-small-talk type people who you think are your "friend" but are just that friendly with everyone, and people who have best friends from when they were 3 years old.
It's easier to see the grass greener but they all have downsides, not looking to others for help, consciously realising all their friends are shallow, or feeling locked into following & being influenced by their best friends.
Just wear your unicoloured t-shirts and be yourself bro.
You can't depend on me as a friend but at least let me friendly let you know your personality has inspired me, thanks
(P.s im stealing your idea of giving away clothes and getting bland clothes I can just throw on cuz i just don't care either..)
(P.s.s I don't usually write comments this long and actually post them, a special subject tho, my shout into the void)
Didn’t expect this subject but props to you for opening it up. I totally understand what you mean when you said “I want to want to have friends”. I believe that’s something worth investing your time and energy to. I’m in my 30’s and a significant number of life decisions I had to make were greatly helped by my friends. I think it’s important because real friends tell you when you’re about to do something stupid or tells you which decision is wiser. I definitely didn’t immediately click with my friends though, had to put in the effort to develop it just like any relationship. I hope you’ll find real friends because I say they’re definitely vital in my life now.
I honestly can relate to this a lot. Since I work from home too and have the same mentality when it comes to drinking, Fußball etc, I always struggled with this.
Nowadays I mostly keep in touch with my friends via Teamspeak/Discord and play games with them. So yeah I can relate, I am really happy but I also would think it could be great having a friend more close by.
But I also feel like its just harder to make new friends, like I recently joined a kickboxing/boxing gym and there are some cool people there, but actually putting in the effort to potentially make a "real" friend there, oof.
It's crazy how this clip came out at this point in time! Because of pandemic, I feel like I've become even more introverted and really really am careful and intentional about how I spend time with. It's also possible that I'm being really socially selective, but after finishing my first year of full-time work as a music teacher, I'm starting to realize how hard it is to meet new people when you're "adulting."
I related so hard with Ranton when he says he has high standards for people. I think we're starting to realize how valuable time is at this point in our lives, and if we meet someone who doesn't really feel like someone who we can be super tight with, we will not find it worthwhile to spend time with them. On the low, I crave community IRL, but nowadays feeling deep connections with people feels like such a rare occurrence.
I've just been gaming and going to the gym for workouts during my summer break, and it feels like a challenge to push myself to go outside and do something different and meet people. I wonder if anyone else feels similarly.
Funny how you recommended a few years back Hovey Benjamin - Squad Goals and now you live the life of that song
Mind blowned
I am exactly in your situation. Basically I think it boils down to "you're fine with either", friends:ok, alone time:ok.
Bro i think everyone NEEDS friends. Even if you feel happy alone, friends just add to that. Being alone gets tolerable after a while because we get used to it, but humans are at the core, social animals. We are not meant to stay home all day. We are meant to laugh and shoot the shit with friends. I realise that friends eventually move out, but that's an opportunity to make more friends. Unfortunately life keeps going on and on, we can't stop it, people come and go.
This is too relatable, man.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just trying to convince myself of that I should feel lonely or if I actually do feel depressed by not having any friends I could call on at any given time.
I had this whole wall of text written here, ready to send, but decided to scratch that. Like, why the fukc am I sharing this with total strangers under some random yT video instead of talking to a therapist or something. And would anyone even give a damn?
Just this one thought. Once you're out of your twenties and thus out of school, university and such, it gets progressively harder to maintain friendships and making new ones even more so.
Now, actually thinking and writing about this now does make me feel a little sad and lonely. Quite pathetic at the same time. Am I really content with being an introvert loner or am I just fooling myself into believing I'm content for whatever reason?
This is how I feel since a long time! It’s so refreshing to hear someone feeling the same!
It resonates with me a lot, because I also don't have any friends in my geolocation. All of them moved somewhere else, but I'm not particularly sad about it, because i still talk to them. But the problem is, I have problems with making new friends in work - not that I'm unlikeable, most people like me, but I don't feel like i can connect with them on the same level - like you mentioned example with beer and talking sports. I had a bell curve of friends from having 3-5 in early teens, to having 100+ in my early twenties to back having 3-5 in my early 30s. Bottomline is that i want to play games and be left the fuck alone.
Same bro, I have a few colleagues I hang out with, but none I would consider close friends that I would still be friends with when we leave our job
Can absolutely relate. I think it's not a bad thing and u shouldn't feel bad about it. I don't like alkohol or drugs either and today its really hard to find "friends" for me. Most of the times it's better to be just cool with people and and be alone than hang out with the wrong people just to make friends, who are available.
The People that do have many friends are actually just networking. They want to have them in their pockets in case they become successful in life for future favors. It is what it is. Gl finding a genuine individual Mr. Anton
XD
Dude is hard af trying to have "regular" friends when u don't fk with "regular shit" football, clubs, ect
As Jim carrey said:
"Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realise how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy."
Imo even if you don't feel like it, you should go out with your wife to make new acquaintance or friends.
I feel you, eversince the pandemic started connection with friends has lessened. In a good way it's peaceful and quiet but in the bad side of it I'm finding myself to be wrapped in loneliness at times and needs to be sociable for a whole day just go back again at what ever i'm doin peacefully.
This is exactly how I feel I’m so glad I’m not the only one
Same here ranton don’t worry I find it hard to come across people who are worth having in my circle that I can trust and rely on.
This reminds me of the video made by VIVA la dirt league about how difficult it is to make friends when you're older.
I am concerned of having no friends when i leave my home to go to grad school somewhere else (also physics students are antisocial as fuck).
Ranton just described my life. Never had alcohol, so people never wanted to hang with me.
"This is not a therapy session"
I read that with his accent
The thing u said bout alcohol + drugs + childhood + not like me.. I m away now.. Is so damnnn relatable.. Tht makes u n me kinddaa friends.. Love u brada
No Ranton I think a friend is someone you have a special connection with
This video just made you sooo relatable. I have pretty much the same problem, it's crazy.
Ranton, real advice, make children, you'll have small friends to be silly with and you'll get new friends by meeting organically people with kids too that are your age. New steps in life creates the best opportunities ;)
Best thing about not having friends is nobody asking you to help them move.
i feel you bro. i have ppl with whom i talk a lot over discord, but i dont rly have "rl" friends.
From as long as I can remember I could only have one close friend. I could social with everyone but I only had one close friend at a time. Now in my twenties I've become comfortable like this.
When your circles small but they're busy 😭😂 it's okay personal time is best time
I mean, if you are comfortable being by yourself then there is definitely nothing wrong with that. Given your personality we've seen all this time, you seem to be a charismatic fellow.
People won't be available all the time and you should be okay with it. Just try to maintain any friendships that you have for as long as you can.
"I have no friends."
*After this Sophia made him do the chores for the next 96 hours*
my man has the craziest takes, always an adventure. I do get the friends thing tho, there are people that just sit together and talk about games and leaks and shit like that, you just have to find them near you
Pretty much the same here, thought it would change in uni but while there are people I get along with well, I don't really wanna spend time with them outside of uni. Interestingly I just looked at mortality rates of people with lacking social contacts today lol
I mean I get it, Rantoni. I was never a big friend person neither and I don't feel bad about it and every once in a while I feel like I should? Or something like that. But I don't.
I have connections with people. I have a fair amount of acquaintances and my "real" friends are like yours. Far away lmao. But honestly, I like it this way. I feel like it may just be the natural progression of an introverted person. You keep very close relationships and feel satisfied even if they aren't close. You make some time when the stars align to hang out and kinda just vibe until the next opportunity presents itself.
I really resonate with the wanting to want to have friends
just cry sometimes, it's good for health, choose any reason, but cry sometime
Hafu go should be your friend! 🤣
Extremely relatable. Ever since I've graduated high school. I've slowly lost contact with the friends that I did have in High School. And already have maybe a handful that I talk to, but never in person. More just on discord where I talk to them, never really being something where I can actually have the chance to talk irl.
I sometimes think about just having my wife and no friends....then I continue doing what I'm doing..
But honestly where I live there isn't many people into magic the gathering or video games. Mostly drugs and alcohol and I do neither
I was thinking about this just a couple days ago. I have the exact same view and position with friends etc, i have friends, but they either moved to another state or they like going out partying more then doing other thingd that do not involve alcohol etc.
The problem is we see other people that have something we don't and even tho we don't really care about the thing we still feel longing for it
i feel like friends only exist during school, after that most people just become acquaintances or something like that. I knew tons of people and had hella friends but nowadays those people became full-time normies that i can't relate to anymore, and many of them don't even talk to each other. I only have pretty much one friend now and the guy is a complete recluse. This whole thing sucks for me because i really like to keep people company and be around people that have things in common.
i have something similar going on in my life rn like i have friends their just all school friends like i see them at school and we all but as soon as school is over i just go home and sit in my room and play video games watch anime read manga the whole time and never go out until i have to
"How do you feel about this video"
"Relatable"
I moved to Copenhagen one year ago and in that time I have seen my friends about 4 times when ever I came back to my parents place. I simply don’t have time to find new friends because of my studies and I honestly don’t want to look for new friends. All in all, I'm content and just enjoy a life of solitude
4:46 woooo yeah baby
Loneliness can be comfy and extremely addicting. Whatever your stance on alcohol, I do think going outside to talk (and maybe drink) with people irl is good for you. When you live alone for a long time you start living inside your own head (on the moon even), and going outside will pull you back down to Earth. There might be moments where you think "wtf, this is bad, why am I here?!", at the end you will think "wow, good thing that I came here." It will feel refreshing.
And then you go back and stay in the comfort of your home for another year. The cycle repeats.
this could be a start to a tragic story here
Ever since I graduated high school and moved to a new country, can relate
so you just basically feel like youre missing out
Now he feels more relatable.
Man thank you so much, really, this helped me a lot. I don't have anybody who's like me either. I work out, I don't drink, and I just feel like an outsider. I know this sounds super edgy, just wanted to say thank you, no kizzy.
4:13 my man you have a point
Related in every single aspect even in the takes.
Man thats really weird, ive been feeling the exact same way
Just get friends. Its that easy.
I have couple of friends I see maybe a few times a month. Other than that I don't socialize much unless I have to. My girl and brothers are the only people I might talk to on the daily. So I feel you lol. Same with the alcohol thing. My friends also love to drink so when they go out for drinks or wanna hang out and drink, I just don't go. So I might not even see them for a long time cause of that. You right though, I am okay with having a lot of personal time. It gives me time to game, read and workout.
its typical for ppl tbh. im also kinda... alone but i have really good close friends that are in other cities after we finished education.... its sad. school times are the best times in ppls lives
I don't know Ranton's whole life story but from what he's shared it does kinda make sense. He hated his bank job, so I doubt he made long-lasting relationships there. And most of his friends he made while training Shaolin live in other parts of the world. And then he streams, trains and shoots videos all day, so he's not in a position to interact with new people. It's tough to make/mainting friends as an adult
Well, idk rly what to say ,but thanks man!! Just wanna say thank you Ronton man. You are the kind of people i'll like to be friends with (:
you start noticing that you dont have friends in real life when you have to pay someone to help you with a simple 2 person task ( e.g. building a large IKEA bed)
Making friends and/or a partner is a hazardous thing, and organic at its core. No matter what you like and believe in, the happening of you two clicking/vibing is gonna happen regardless. The issue, however, is not noticing that or CHOOSING not to proceed with it to form a bond.
Bumble.. friends.... HAHAHAHAA !!!! 😂😂🤣🤣 Yo ! What a loser ! Heeeheehee
This hit different, definitely can relate. It seems to be a guy thing
oh it's definitely a guy thing
United we stand ✊️
I'm available bro, but I'm in Texas. But where there's a will there's a way. No Kizzy!
I wish I could say I’m different, but I understand everything you said
He is an enfp
And he trust people easily .
ima tell you your problem , you wanna be alone,, but you dont wanna be by yourself - Patrice O'neal
Spot on description of how most discord servers go
Man, I feel what Ranton mentions here and I struggle with this same shit with my girlfriend.
We just don’t or can’t relate with most people our age, and specifically me, I’m not into alcohol or any drugs, and I just can really enjoy my time with people who do it in front of me.
I too would rather know more about the person, see what they are about and hopefully get excited together about similar stuff or share different perspectives.
To be Honest Ranton, I feel like you and I would get along xD my girlfriend is also Chinese born in Germany, and I’m currently living here with her xD if you still need a friend after a year, let me know, I’ll come hang out with you no problem!
Random became a basement dweller
I am sitting outside alone reading ultimate Spiderman. Be like Keanu be kind to everyone and you'll have nice interactions. That's what I was told by an old coworker.
I feel like my 'friends' are slipping away from me. We also don't have a lot of common interests. At least I still have my siblings that I can talk to from time to time. Their presence is even enough to warrant an appreciation from me.
Which is why I love the ending of Spider-Man No Way Home. It perfectly symbolizes what you’re talking about.
i have one friend that has become my brother, in my eyes, over the last 30 years. there used to be four of us, but things change and life happens. to be honest, one is enough because i find true friendship to be too exhausting when there are a lot of people.