Why Priests Need Women In Their Lives (Mother Natalia & Shane Smith)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 พ.ย. 2024
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Mother Natalia gives advice for Priests in giving spiritual direction to women in their parishes. Matt Fradd and Shayne Smith chime in with suggestions as well.
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One unexpected thing I always get from Mother Natalie in these - her pace is so different from the world. Not her speech, but her thinking and spirit. It's not rushed. She's not go-go-go to discuss things or answer questions, even though again, she's not speaking slowly or anything. It's calming. It feels... healthy.
The Priest needs the "female perspective" not only for female directees; for helping male directees with their female interactions.
We need eachother as men & women is such a healing message in these times.
Boundaries are so very important with this.
Women, if a priest starts confiding HIS personal life to you, that's a major red flag. If you're frequently meeting alone and you feel like you've got a special relationship, even as a 'daughter' or 'friend', that's a major red flag. If their relationship or direction with you gets emotionally charged for him, that's a major red flag.
Even if they've got a good reputation.
Signed, someone who learned the hard way.
Yes and do your best not to aid in corrupting someone who is teetering to even if it is mostly their responsibility. Unfortunately sin strikes us all and often creeps up unawares
@@Tom_McMurtry what muddies the water is that, once in awhile, they're not teetering...they're just straight up preditory. There's often a huge power imbalance that makes it very difficult to say no, especially if you see the priest as a spiritual mentor or director or father.
@JP2GiannaT very true!
Very true, there's a danger, and it's important to understand the boundaries.
In my case, I noticed it was me who was so clingy for an accepting male/father figure, that I realize that I would've had the tendence to be too emotionally reliant. Thank God, my spiritual director is a priest of prayer and service, and he was from the beginning treating and teaching me to have boundaries and agency in places I didn't even realize I needed to establish them. I initially expected him just telling me what to do, instead, it's about what I want to do, what I can do, what is my responsibility to take action, etc. Never pushing or inquiring for a private information. It's like he gives (e.g. advice), but doesn't take anything for himself.
I must say, it has helped me, to gradually be standing on my own feet. I didn't initially realize that I was so reliant on others, and initially I was a bit disappointed I didn't get the ready answers or 'directions' I was hoping for, which was just my emotional immaturity, but now I see that the actual wisdom was in showing me, that I can think and act for myself. Well, I'm still learning that, but I can see it now.
I can also see, how a priest, who's for example emotionally immature or not deeply devoted to prayer, could use these for his advantage.
I'm not saying it would be even intentional - I don't think most wake up with bad intent - but themselves being emotionally needy 'to take', they couldn't help but to exploit the vulnerability.
So I think one of the most important quality of Christian life, a virtue, is to be able to give, without taking back, without expecting something in return. That is the virtue of _purity of intention._
It's also very difficult, but we should all - men and women - aspire to it.
It gives true freedom in human relations, and frees one's heart to truly and purely serve the Lord.
Mother Natalia is spot on.
Terrific question, insightful answers, thank you!
Mother Natalia is such a beautiful woman
The same can happen with psychological differences in general. There are some priests who listen to people from their own perspective and they missunderstand them.
They do not pray before speaking with someone to listen them as Jesus Christ would listen. And this is perceived.
Priests are not supposed to know who their spiritual mother or spiritual grandmother is until the two meet in Heaven. I have found that the spiritual direction between a priest and a woman many times turns into the woman also being the priest's spiritual support, spiritual mother. I am not speaking of anything carnal. (like I just read in another comment). I can not give for instances but I have experienced this blessing several times. The laity can be very cruel to their priests so with great care and many hours in front of the Blessed Sacrament, a spiritual mother can bring spiritual comfort to our suffering priests. So that one day, spiritual mother and spiritual son will meet happily in heaven.
I've read once in a book, that when there's a holy priest/man, God will provide a holy woman nearby, be as a directee, or friendship, etc. Think of the saints: Francis de Assisi and Klara, Francis de Sales and Jeanne de Chantal, and many others. These friendships are important, for they show the world a friendship that is built on pure platonic love, not on sensuality.
We need the HOLY SPIRIT to guide us and connect with each other!!
Thursday should be proud of his God son that after a short time can already hang in deep conversation with 2 highly seasoned Catholics
Mother Natalia is the best. ❤
Good thumbnail 👍
It begins from the Book of Genesis and St Paul’s letter to the Ephesians 5:22 to understand the Masculine and Feminine Roles under the tutelage of Mary:
“Do whatever He TELLS YOU!”
Hello, my priest said I need to get a spiritual director. He's not trained to do it himself. I was curious what is the best way to get a spiritual director?
I’m wondering the same as well
@@VICE-roy start by researching monasteries in your area.
First step, pray for it.
As a man, I relate more with women, then men. 🤷🏻♂️ I find conversation with most men to be 1 dimensional.
Dr. John Grey wrote a book about the different needs of men and women :
" Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. "
Check it out.
Amen
Wouldn’t our Lady be a perfect guide to women’s spirituality? If a priest can understand our Lady and all her virtues, that would perfectly translate to how he would go about directing a woman. No need to seek spiritual direction from a random woman
I think it's very good insight. In my observation and experience, I think the best spiritual directors were the priests who have Marian spirituality/devotion. At least towards women. They tend to often have the gentleness and patience, but also a healthy distance and respect towards women.
(of course, that's just my experience, so no idea how much that could be generalized)
I think it should come naturally from being a good listener, shephard professionally etc. But one does not need to seek that out intentionally
God created them, a man and a woman. We are complementary towards each other. We need each other's perspective and skills. That DOESN'T have to mean carnal relationship. For those called to marry, sure. But those who are called to celibacy, they need the perspective of the opposite sex as well. Spiritual and platonic friendship can be very enriching one's spiritual life. I would argue, even more than a relationship that is aided with corporal sensuality, because if successful it becomes more purified and spiritual, as well as heroic and virtuous. Such were the friendships between the saints, such as Francis of Assisi and Klara, or many others.
My grandson has spent 90 days in solitary. Federal prison. Nothing he did but lock down. Catholic need to reach out to those incarcerated. That's true Charity. However Matt if chewing ice is to much for you. I doubt a prison ministry
There are catholic prison ministries ! At least in France, every prison has a priest ! However with the lack of priests they can not be full time on it, only for the largest ones
The wife needs to turn to her husband Who should be the High Priest of the family. Then....mothers and grandmothers should be turned to....
The things is celibate people will never be experts on the opposite sex and that's exactly the reason why they are probably better at the spiritual life😂❤. Some relationship conflicts might only be understood on a rudamentary level by celibates, so married people are just as important for some parts of spiritual guidance.
That would be very simplistic to say that people chose celibacy (and sacrifice exclusive intimate relationships) bc they are bad at relationships. Certainly it happens but nowadays when it is too blatant, the Church rejects these candidates to the priesthood during seminary (but I have no stats on this)
I disagree.
Sensual knowledge is not the only knowledge in relation to the opposite sex. You seem to assume that the relation with the opposite sex must come down to sexuality.
That's a very limited view.
In fact, we can see the example of the saints, how they cultivated deep and pure friendships with the opposite sex: Francis of Assisi and Klara, Francis de Sales and Jeanne de Chantal, and many others.
In fact, very often when we read the biographies of holy women, we find they often had deep friendships with other holy men of their time.
And sure, marital problems may not always be sufficiently help by a consultation with a celibate priest. Although, you might also be surprised how often it does help: the priest may not have the carnal knowledge, but has the knowledge of a _loving_ relationship based on his knowledge of God. That's the blueprint, the ideal model, to be applied, and then you can see where the relationship is still failing.
But as I said, indeed, in some cases this may not be enough. So sure, the counseling with other, more experienced, married couple may then be more beneficial.
But what about celibate counseling or directing another celibate? You seem to forget about those, because you seem to assume a relationship with the opposite sex must come down to sexuality. It doesn't.
Dangerous and imprudent.
Warning!!! Priest do not need women friends.
Maybe priests should be allowed to get married?
If I'm correct, Both Mthr Natalia and Mat Fradd are Easern Rite Catholics, Many Eastern Rite Priests are married man
Actually, in Eastern Catholic Churches, to one of which Mthr Natalia belongs, they are.
Last thing men need in 2024 is a woman in their lives
Okay if you want to take it to that extreme, then where is the next generation gonna come from? Separating men and women will obviously result in the extinction of our species
Tell that to the woman who brought you to this world, nursed you, and raised you.
Who protects the priest from sin? Some women hav no problem tempting them 2 go where they have vowed Not 2 go.
Gotta protect our Good Priests! 🇨🇦 🙏
If they have morals, they won't be tempted. If they can be tempted, maybe they're in the wrong profession. Peace be with you. 😊
@rachelhelen898 ALL are tempted. There's no one who escapes that reality. The question is will the priest or lay person fall for said temptations or not? And that depends on one's prayer/Sacramental life, free will, education/well formed conscience, and commitment to virtue.
Who protects priests? God, the BVM, the Saints through prayer and intercession, their practice of virtue, and the support of the community.
I have heard of women indecent enough to proposition priests in the Confessional, the devil goes that far. Or satanic sects who intentionally try to get them to sin against purity and chastity, etc. It's a warfare for all true Christians till death.
@@NaruIchiLuffy Thanks for the long comment. God bless.
First, we women are not a temptation for priests just for being women.
Second, women are not a temptation for priests if they are in love with Jesus Christ.
Third, priests do not need a women to sin.
Fourth, priests do not need protection to live in this world as if they were weak flowers.
@@rachelhelen898 even Jesus was tempted, the problem is acting on said temptation, it’s a biproduct of having a will. And everyone struggles with sins even religious. Both men and women should respect each others boundaries and understand when something may or may not be prudent.
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