I really like how you are not judgmental with people and their stuff. And of all the people that I have listened to about getting rid of clutter, you make the most sense. It makes me happy when you make new videos. and gets me motivated again.
I'm overwhelmed right now. Things piled up during covid because no one visited. That accountability was crucial and idk where to start or how to approach it all now. I just got rid of stacks of mail and washed dishes. That's my start.
Thank you for your commitment to your community!!! I love listening to you as I purge. I was able to chuck a black leaf garbage bag of stuff from my bedroom tonight while listening to two of your videos. Bless you and the work you do! 💝
You touched on getting older and losing control over possessions. Amen. Don't leave the mess for your children or relatives to take care of after you die. When dad passed away, I had to empty two farm outbuildings filled to the rafters with lumber, broken down lawnmowers, an old fishing boat, tools, and miscellaneous junk. In the house was a mass of clocks and antiques that had been neglected after he stopped selling antiques. We had two large sales and one major auction to get rid of 90-percent of the stuff. What was left over in another basement and a detached garage, we let a salvage company clear everything and keep it for their own purposes. To do all of this took two-and-a-half years of weekly hard work. (I had to commute from another town each week to do this.) The acreage was sold last winter and the estate was settled after more than three years because of clutter-related delays.
I'm so sorry to hear that your dad's estate was such a big project. People don't realize the more acreage you fill up, the longer it takes your family to empty it! Three sales/auctions and a salvage pickup - that's a ton of work. I can well imagine how you felt when it was all finally done. Congratulations on such an amazing accomplishment and also learning the lesson from all that hard work! I'll bet you've already started clearing out your own stuff. You get my gold star for the week!
My mother-in-law's death was also the catalyst for my husband and I starting our clean out project. We commuted four hours each way, every weekend for two months to empty her house and ready it for sale. She was raised in that house, and she raised her kids in that house, then lived there into her 80s. She had done cleanouts of her own before, but with mixed results. Declining a bit, she tossed all her recent cancelled checks, but had neglected to toss the 10+ year old ones, for example. While hers was nowhere near as large a project as the OP's, I told my husband that there was no way we were going to leave a project like that for people when we're gone. We started slow, admittedly. But we picked up steam as we went along. Two summers ago, we sold our house (it showed really well after we decluttered), and moved into a 2-bedroom apartment. In a couple of months, we're moving 1200 miles away, to a 1-bedroom apartment. None of this would have been possible if we hadn't decluttered a little at a time (and occasionally spurted through larger projects). We feel great about it all, and are looking forward to the retirement we've dreamed of, now attainable partly because we're not tethered to our stuff. And guilt free, because no one else will have to deal with it when we're gone.
I am sorry for what you went through. I am afraid my sibling and I will face a very similar situation in the future with our parents. My dad has similar tendencies as yours did. I take consolation hearing that you were eventually able to accomplish the clean-out , and I am taking some pointers on the steps you took to get rid of all the stuff. What fills me with trepidation is how much time it is going to take. I can't just quit my job to deal with the mess my parents will leave behind, and picking away at it for months or years on the weekends sounds like a nightmare. It is a shame that so many older people fail to be proactive while they still have their wits about them and some energy, and instead they just sit back and leave a mess for their children to deal with.
I understand but, try to think this was the thing he loved and brought him so much joy. I didn't have much of a problem till mom died I was thinking I might be having to get divorced at the same time 20 ago ...all of a sudden I was trying to save everything and be safe from losing everything. Most of the time older people who didn't have much or has lost everything ...do this ! I am glad to have access to people like Gayle to help me understand. Now, I can see why I did this and even though I don't have much that is in places, that I have no were to put it, I know what I have to do and I can. I wish you well.
Thank you Gayle. I have 30 year pile of gathered stuff. 2 carboot loads last month plus 107 things gone in this November to goodwill. Funny how I dont even remember most of what I have decluttered already !! ...yet at the time they were so important. Managing to pare down duplicates. Thats easiest for me as a beginner declutterer and knowing I am keeping the best of the bunch. Have also Gifted 3 electronics to neighbours this week. Timer set daily for 15 min intervals for decluttering. Thats doable. Wearing individual items from bulging wardrobe/closet for a couple of days. If I dont absolutely looove it its gone -off to goodwill. They are baby steps but its a start as you say. Also gave a file of my nans knitting patterns to charity knitters in my town. That was easy to let go of because it would benefit others. Thank you for your knowledgable motivation. I will keep on keeping on. 😘✔🎉🙏💙
Hi Olwyn - it sounds like you're doing great! Keep up with your donation counts because they will be very encouraging when you find yourself flagging. Also, the more you do, the less stressful you find it. There will always be things that you find hard to face, but experience of the process of letting go and moving on makes facing those things easier. Even if you keep some things after you look at them, you've made a much more informed, conscious decision about it and you can feel good about keeping it, for now. It's nice that you sent the patterns to the knitters - I'm sure they were happy to use them! There's always some crafter out there thrilled to get low cost/no cost craft supplies! Your Nan would be proud of you! Keep at your 15 minutes a day for 2019, make it a game you play to accomplish that every day, and report back at the end of the year. I'll bet you'll have made a HUGE dent and you'll feel a thousand times lighter by then! Best of luck to you - G.
@@TheClutterFairy Thank you for your encouraging words Gayle. It is baby steps. I am tired of feeling "tied" to my belongings. I have managed to empty a 5 drawer metal filing cabinet completely! How could I have thought all those peices of paper were important? I have not missed any of them. I think something has shifted in my thinking, I even let go of some cookery books. I have 100 or so. And am now eating the pantry, and using up cleaners in the laundry. I am beginning to see some daylight in those cupboards. Its a frustratingly slow process but I am not turning back now. I am finding I have to make many "passes" over the same areas ie. kitchen but each time am able to rid myself of a couple of items. Is this normal? NB.I lost EVERYTHING a couple of times in my life and I think this is where it has come from. Please make another video soon. Again thank you. Your help IS appreciated. 🇦🇺✔🕯🌲🎅🎯
I have been writing down what i do since Oct 2020. and it helps a lot when you feel like you did not do enough. Sometimes I take picture of what is going out. I feels really good every time I go to donate. Everyday I drop something off is a good day no matter what else happens.
You truly know what you are talking about which makes your advice SO useful! I only watch about 8 minutes at a time because your videos are That Good! Thank you!!
I love that you watch a bit of it at a time, to make it consumable at your speed. That's smart! I'm glad you like the videos - thanks for watching the channel!
I am still overwhelmed. For a few years now. Not quite sure when it started. I will listen to this video in hope of some answers and help. It seems as if i take two steps forward making decent progress and then stall. Then, things explode again. It is so frustrating, but I do know that there is hope. ❤️✝️❤️ So i will keep on keeping on.
Hi there - lots of people throw themselves into decluttering, hoping to solve a lifetime problem in a few steps. Instead, aim for a habit change of pursuing something about decluttering every day. One small consistent habit of change, over and over, will make a HUGE difference over time without being overwhelming in the present! Watch the video more than once if it helps you stay on track too. I know you can do it! 15 minutes a day!
sit down and think about what was going on when this started ...I mean if you are talking about keeping things or hoarding things as I did for awhile. I figured out with help from listening to people like Gayle--The Clutter Fairy- that it was when 2 tragic events was happening in my life.
I dug under the kitchen sink and gathered all the brown bags and gave them away! Sorted out the pen and pencil drawer and gave away a lot of them! Thanks for the advice in your video to take a step, even if it is small, its a step! You also make me laugh:) in this world now we need that:) thanks! I just wanted you to tell me to rock on!:) sometimes, you only get just one!
I decluttered some more this morning. (Whittling away at it) I am one of those people you mentioned who work better in the morning. This talk was really encouraging!
Keep chipping away Anna - you'll get there. And in the meantime you'll be noticing what you've been doing to collect stuff and changing your own behavior in the process. Good luck!
For years I’ve been trying to declutter, I did some little progress but still suffering on this subject that affects my life.. From now on I really want to go through it. I loved this vídeo, I feel motivated and realised, thanks a lot, you are lovely and your positive and calm vibe it really helps. Wishing that all of us that are here wanting to have an easy, practical, clean, beautiful and supportive living space will be happily successful :) much love
Thanks for the pep talk. I wish I had found you sooner. I do realize I have incorporated the chisel to the iceberg and still saying I don't know where to start when I looked around this trailer I've downsized to and finally see an end in sight where if I had to move the trailer stuff would not go flying. I did the every time I get up to use the bathroom I will do something, move something, clean something even if only one thing or 5, 10 or 15 minutes. I have had health challenges and that's a large reason why the clutter and accumulation but I do have hoarding tendencies when it comes to sentimental stuff. I actually felt nervous because looking around the kitchen living area I could actually envision an end in sight to at least having clear surfaces and stuff not flying I still have some boxes and stuff in my cargo trailer that I use as my storage unit to go through.
Your videos are always precious, I have been working all day on the chaos, overwhelm panic frustration are high but listening to you always helps, thank you
Wish I could give you a hug! Your videos have gotten me through my nesting period of my fourth pregnancy. Your encouraging words have kept me going even on days when I have felt I just couldn't move another muscle. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience in such actionable and practical ways!
Your videos have really helped me in implementation, motivation & inspiration .. I listen to you daily = working my way thru all your podcasts. I have to look around to see if there is anything to deal with = things are tidy, clean, & organized = I am continuously trying to consolidate or downsz in some way, so yes, I can always go thru a drawer or container again. 😊
I'm an extreme procrastinator. We moved into our current rented house four years and four months ago. Everything that was put into my bedroom in boxes and bags is still in there, basically untouched. I never want to start something I can't finish in a relatively short time frame, so I just don't. This house has very little storage space, so I don't have a place to put most of my things. I need to get rid of a lot of stuff if I want to put everything away. I sleep on the couch, because I don't have a bed and no room for one. If I would have done a little bit at a time every day, I could have put everything away and bought a bed. After watching this video I computed how many hours I could have worked on getting rid of stuff and organizing if I worked on it just 30 minutes a day. I came up with . . . wait for it . . . drum roll please . . . 796 hours!! Lord knows if I had worked on it just 30 minutes a day for the first year after we moved in (182.5 hours), I could have been sleeping in an actual bed for the last three years and four months. Working on it for an hour a day would have accomplished it even sooner. I plan on working on it for at least an hour a day from now on. I hope I don't fall back into my procrastinating ways!
That's a reality check in that calculation, isn't it? Good job explaining it clearly to yourself. Just keep dreaming of that bed in the bedroom! If you don't have much space to put things yet, then just concentrate on removing what you know you don't want to keep, and consolidating boxes of sorted things that you do want to keep. Figure out how many boxes need to be cleared to fit a bed in the room, and keep thinking of the bed as your goal! When you want to procrastinate, do 15 minutes instead of 30. Just keep reminding yourself that at the end of the work is sleeping in a real bed!!
@@TheClutterFairy Thank you so much for your reply! My problem is that I want to keep everything! But I know I can't if I want to live a more comfortable, less chaotic life. I just have to bite the bullet and get rid of some things I probably should have parted with a long, long time ago. It's time!
Did u start? Get out trash & easy to donate to start … it is hard to start. A friend to sit and support you as you get in gear is mega!! I struggle too
@@suzanbak1 July 4 will be 6 years since we moved into this house. My room is still filled up. I did manage to collect several boxes and shopping bags of clothes that I'll never wear again, and I've put them in my car to take to a nearby homeless shelter. I never did work on my room one hour or even 30 minutes a day like I said I was going to. I still sleep on the couch, and my back and hip joints are suffering because of it. I don't know what it will take for me to get my butt in gear! 🥺
Love this video. Lovely presentation and very calming. When overwhelmed I feel broken in some way..your calm advice is so kind and understanding that I feel hopeful and ready to get started, one step at a time. Thank you!
I was listening to this (and a bunch of other decluttering videos) while I was doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen. I've always thought that it's not that much but tonight I feel accomplished. I've been a messy person pretty much all my life. I do clean but when I do I tend to obsess over it and feel obliged to get everything done at once. Right now my bedroom is super cluttered and messy. Even my bed's not spared from the clutter I don't even want to sleep on it. But tonight you've inspired me to clear out my bed from clothes that shouldn't be there and change the sheets. It's only a tiny task but that'll be my win for the day (once I get it done). Thank you for sharing your words of advice and wisdom. I really appreciate it. ❤
God bless you! I am overcoming a situation of total overwhelm. Recovering from my home being flooded 2 years in a row. Just90-95+% done with the 2016 tax day flood renovation and unpacking my things and packing and repacking boxes for my daughter's transition to medical school when the 2nd flood came in. The past year has been crazy with another total demolition and renovation... among several family crisis ... and inheritance and natural accumulation, as such one purchases things not knowing if you still have this item or not. Just now beginning to unbox things even though the renovation is not yet complete. It's difficult to let almost anything go after one has already lost so much! My desire to simplify is a daily struggle with the desire to re-establish the stuff that supported the lifestyle I had. The bottom line is... it's all just stuff, and does that reflect "me, now?" All of our "stuff" carries a burden of time to sort through to re establish the life goals previously set, I believe you instill an honest awareness that we all desire a newness to the pattern in one's life. Thank you so very much for your insight!
Thanks Kate - so many in Houston are in your situation. As if flooding your home isn't bad enough, flooding twice or three times in as many years is enough to break anyone's spirit! That's a lot to deal with and come out smiling. Finally moving back in is the perfect time to re-evaluate all that you own, especially after such a loss. You don't want the loss to trigger you to cling to everything you touch, though I see how that would happen after such a trauma. Instead, take your time unpacking, and give each item it's due consideration. Do I really still want this in my life, or can I use this moment to let it go to help someone else? Surely having to pack it all up was traumatic enough, so before you rush to unpack it and throw it all back into the house so you can stop living in boxes, take the time to think whether having this item in your life really enhances your daily life or not. If it's a keepsake, then ask if it's better than other keepsakes of the same type, or is it a kind of duplicate? Go for emotional richness in keepsakes instead of volume of keepsakes. If you let yourself evaluate your belongings as you put them away, you'll feel better about the house when you're moved in again, and hopefully feel lighter also. Maybe that process of choosing each thing to stay will bring you comfort and relief from the overwhelming loss. Best of luck to you! G.
I'm a really hard worker who fell into the clutter trap (some of my mother's stuff and some of mine). That is why I had the mindset that I had to get more done in less time and when I haven't been able to, kind of have been down on myself. This is why I appreciate your chipping away at approach and I'm glad I discovered your channel.. Currently I'm working on our home office area, which seems like an overwhelming task and just generalised declutter and organization.
Hi Deborah! Home offices are the WORST! That's a big task you've set yourself, but I've got lots of videos on the channel talking about organizing paper, tackling paper, etc. I'm sure you can find some support and ideas from those videos. Remember that you don't need to finish it all at once or in a big hurry. You just need to keep giving it your attention regularly and you'll get there. Best of luck!
Thank you for saying so! One of my beady friends bought this for me and I love it! It's blocks of different batiked fabric stitched together. One of my favorites. The necklace is a beaded project designed by Beki Haley that I beaded myself after taking her class. It's a perfect match to the blouse I think! One of my more colorful outfits - thanks again!
I have thrown things away and given good things away. My problem is that weeks later I needed what I got rid of. That made me want to just keep it all, but I would rather have space and think it wasn't that important anyway !
That's the thing with clearing clutter, it takes consideration of each thing before tossing it. Let's face it - there are plenty of things that we can toss away without giving away the good things. Get rid of the things that are definitely of no further use first.
Lots of good and practical ideas for overcoming inertia and patting yourself on the back for even the smallest accomplishments. For some things a person doesn't want to part with, such as a baby crib when you are long past childbearing, take a photo of it and then donate to a women's shelter or some charity that will give it to parents in dire need. I know that when I clean or organize, putting on upbeat music helps me. It keeps that part of my mind active while I make decisions about what to keep and what to toss or donate. I am about to work on my craft cabinet -- I have kept lots of art supplies I had as an art student in college -- the watercolor kit with brushes, oil paints with brushes and other tools, canvas, papers, etc. I may not give up the brushes for various media b/c those are super expensive, but I am ready to toss old tubes of watercolor and oil paint. If I ever want to get back onto those media I can easily buy new paints and stretched canvases. Gonna go clean out that cabinet rrrrrrright NOW!!!
Done! Craft cabinet cleaned out in one hour. Result: more empty cabinet and two garbage bags of trash. I would have saved stuff for my church rummage sale but I am isolating so it goes in the trash this year. No big deal.
What a wonderful mother to have done all that work ahead of time and made your lives so much easier🙂 that’s what I’m trying to do also, and helping my mother do likewise.
Love this video!!! It motivates me and reminds me that slow progress is my goal, rather than all-or-none perfection! Also, what a beautiful necklace!!! Did you make it, Gail?
I did make it and thank you! One of my favorites! No point is aiming for perfect - you just want to get some stuff done! Think of the Energizer Bunny - it keeps going and going....LOL!
Okay..Im not sure this is a "healthy" strategy.. But I have issues with clothing..so sometimes I think of a friends style I like..and I think,would she wear this? And it works! Its always something I held onto just in case..so by putting it into perspective as in "will my peers wear it?" I usually laugh because the answer is most always a huge NO.. Making it super easy to toss..hahaha
I'm definitely an expert on running myself down! A list of what I've done has been very helpful. 15 minutes a day works. I need to be my own cheerleader. Kathy B I'm at the hard part right now.
Steady and slow, Kathy. Every decision made is one that you won't have to make again. Don't be hard on yourself for "all the starts you seem to have to make" cos every time you gone back to do a mini de-clutter your brain has gad a break and you start with a peak of brain power. Also, in the 'break time' the back of your brain ajusts, processes and firms up on the basis of your last decisions which will all make it a bit quicker the next mini session. And further, you'll probably find that you finally get through the 'hard stuff' and then you discover that lots of the remaining piles are super quick to clear. (Fruits of my own experience devlittering and language teaching.) Blessings to you. G Ire
Yep absolutely. When we moved ten years ago I think I did three sweeps and then we put some stuff in storage for the duration of the showings and sale so the rooms in the house appeared larger. Removed many paintings too and all family photos; all ideas picked up from books about moving and selling, and staging a home for sale.
Those are very good topics! Thanks for the suggestions. I may have to bring in a more experienced ADD person to cover it, but I can do that! Thanks again!
Absolutely true. I have both of these conditions, and probably adrenal fatigue as well. I am so mentally and psychologically motivated to declutter and organize. However, my body wants to sit on the couch reading about it and watching TH-cam videos like this one. Even when I manage to overcome overwhelm and get started, my ADD keeps finding distractions and taking me off task. I tell myself I'll just do this one thing for 5 minutes (turns into an hour or more. Everyday, I start the day thinking - I'm really going to get a lot accomplished today. And every evening, I wonder where the day went, sigh.
B I started trying to deal with my ADHD back before it had a name or any attention. It was the jolt of living in one place longer than 3 years&having a ‘friend’ drop me due to my intensity and high energized ‘flitting’. I used “The Side-tracked Sisters” books to help impose some order on my life chaos both physical and mental. It helped me immensely until life events threw me into major depression. BTW, a side of ADHD that outsiders do not understand is the hyper-focus: I work so hard to get into an activity/project, that ,once I finally get started, I persist on doing it for hours w/o remembering to eat or drink or pick the kids up from school! Now I am old, the thyroid went into hypothyroid and I no longer have the physical bouncing from thing to thing, but the mental ‘flitting’ is the same. When I can conquer the overwhelm I,too, do NOT want to stop to fix dinner/lunch etc. for my husband&myself & he is only recently willing to do it or buy fast food........ Yes, this “dostading”(death cleaning) wakes me up throughout the night! I am trying to cheer myself for continuing on this mountain climb even when no one else is willing to do so.
@@bbrewer3127 ..I miss the old me as for as the thyroid I so get it. Only thing that ever helped me was a Keto diet. Carbs seem to suck the life out of me. I stop my diet and now I'm back there again. As sisters in the thyroid war I know it's a lot tougher than I ever thought. I wish you well
Once you start and 15 or 30 minutes is up. You will want to keep on going. You'll be surprised at how much you can get done once you start. At the end you Won.
I love the log idea. If I do 'To Do' lists, it just feels like I'm resetting to zero when I cross off items and port the unfinished tasks to a new list.
You have to do what is encouraging for you! A log is a great way to show yourself how much you've done over time. Totally worth the effort to make the log as your own support. Good luck with it!
Spend money on things that enrich your life like travel and education. Clothing, shoes, luxury car or a boat don't enrich your life, help you grow inside, and see things from new perspectives. Spend money on things that feed your soul -- the spiritual, the intellectual. You don't need to buy books, that is what libraries are for. Buy an e-reader to avoid having scads of books you read once and that's it, it sits on a shelf forever. Restrict yourself to a dozen pairs of shoes. Realize there are shoeless people the world over and be thankful for those dozen pairs. Buy a new pair, toss out an old pair or two. Smoking, drugs, and addictions are expensive and wasteful of opportunities and life itself. Use the money you spend on cigarettes or alcohol to travel, go to college, or go somewhere to really rest and recharge when you vacation. It's all about PRIORITIES. What are YOURS? Decluttering is about making choices to be calmer and less stressed over time. Your home should be your soft, tidy place to land after work. Who wants to come home to clutter? Not me.
@@tamimartin9149 Thank you. Just what I have gleaned over the decades. The idea of buying so many clothes or shoes or three kitchen appliances where one will do all those jobs, or too many technological gadgets makes me shudder. If you watch Marie Kondo videos, this is what people all have way too much of and suddenly you become a prisoner to all this useless stuff. It really is insidious, so if you are able to pare down and then as you bring in something new, toss out two old items or donate them. That way your possessions stay lean and you can move in a real hurry if you have to.
I've listened to your vids over and over. I think too many times we discount the work we accomplish. I wish I had of taken photos of all the stuff we shed and shred!
Right?! It's hard to remember when it's gone how heavy and dense it was when you started. Sometimes I count trips to the donation place, or bags of trash and donation taken out, just as a way to show how much has been done.
❤...That was an absolutely awesome video ! Listening to things, whilst I work in the house, is generally a 👍 thing with me, but I was in a bit of a slump this morning and nothing I clicked onto appealed to me until I found your video. Thank you so much for the inspiration. It made doing the dishes a pleasure, and I've saved it in my bookmarks for future reference. I'll be checking out your other videos as well. Thanks again ❤.
So glad you found inspiration! It’s what we’re always hope to do. Join us live sometime, every Tuesday at 12noon US Central time. You can find the zoom link on our website, www.clutterfairyhouston.com
❤...Thank you so much. I may take you up on your offer one day 🙂...I'll have to check on the time though as I'm in Australia. I don't believe 'Professional Organisers' are a 'thing' in my local area. When I looked online previously (admittedly quite a few years ago now), I did manage to find one in my area, but she had moved on from that occupation, and the only others I could find were in the big cities, far away from where I live, but that's okay, as I'm currently not (mentally) in the market for one yet, despite the fact that I do have clutter issues. But if I were ever to get help from a Professional Organiser I would love it to be from someone like you. Love your non-judgemental and kind character. There should be more people around like you. 🙂👋
Always look forward to your chat! Thank you for sharing your expertise, so valuable. I'm thinking the necklace is one of your beading projects, it looks beautiful on you :)
You are so very gifted with your words and speech. Am getting so much more from you than other organizers/ fads/Marie condo. Thank you so much. It's a journey.
on getting started - I always encourage people to just sort, set aside making decluttering decisions, just find out what they have. When you know what you have, you can then begin, with more confidence, making decluttering decisions (and your mind will subconsciously be thinking about what to decluttter anyway).
Excellent! You could probably use this topic every year. I love the woman who mapped her runs on the map as if she was running to the Pacific Ocean. :-)
Just start on anything. One day I didn’t want to do any organising one day but I got new second hand draws nd had to clean them b4 bring them inside. And after that well I’d put em away nd move thing round cleaned organised for 13 hours like just start is the best thing
Wow you got started and ended up doing 13 hours?!? Amazing! That's a lot of work! I don't recommend doing so many hours in one stretch for most, but good for you that you got a ton of work done.
The Clutter Fairy yeah long day but I didn’t wanna deal with it the next day nd if I didn’t finish stuff would be all over the house even worse then wen I started nd in the way so while it was a nice day windows open sunny nd put on some tunes nd just went for it it didn’t feel like 13hours but hey
Thank you! This was wonderful and realistic. I wish you lived near me in NC. My mindset is changing. I have small time slots before and after work, and work some long days.
If someone else throws out your stuff, it's easier for resentment to fester. It feels like disrespect to you. NEVER touch other people's stuff. Kathy B
So right, Kathy. The most 'daring' thing that one might hypothetically consider would be moving all the other person's "offending items" into their own pile in order to make space for the decluttering you are doing. That way the other person can be 100% assured that "Everything is there! I just needed to put them all together for you. You might have some time to see if there's anything there that you don't need any more. If you need em all, then we just need to sort out how best to store them cos I've just done some soace creation in this room". (Might not go down well in every situation but it might!). I admit that I'm blessed with a spouse who very early on got the benefits of having less. G Ire
Thank you another hour of cleaning and sorting managed. Only 2 bag fulls leaving this time but third of a room reclaimed. Yay ty so glad you think I did great means a lot.
Hello Gale, this video is very meaningful, not just relating to clutter but relating to projects in personal and work life! In fact all the concepts of overwhelm, motivation, back log, habit formations, time management and celebrations are used as well in relation to GTD Getting things done and productivity. Thank you for this video full of useful ideas. Please keep them coming, especially the ways you help people overcome the inner resistance and emotional issues because it seems we are our biggest obstacle sometimes ;)
We are our biggest obstacle most of the time, for whatever personal reason or circumstance. But everyone can make some headway, regardless of your limitations. And making headway often in turn lessens the limitations, which is a surprise benefit. Glad to be of help to you!
What a great video! I like this format the best. I took notes while watching and there is a lot of meat in your presentation and answers. I think I am on the edge of the line of being able to do this or not. It is a scary thought. Have lived in my house for 40 years. I am also working on my office at work. My thinking is that if I can let go of paper cutter there (my nemesis), then certainly I can do it at home. Thanks for your comforting, thoughtful video and your answers to comments. I do wish you were in Tampa. I would hire you in a heartbeat.
tvsma You can do it! You're just learning a new skill set. As far as helping you, I'd be happy to fly there! But if you're interested we could do some sessions virtually. Just contact me via the website.
When I'm sick, I'll spend almost all my time sleeping and eating or drinking tea. As a result, a bunch of clutter builds up and when I feel well enough I'm overwhelmed by a backlog of work and the growth of clutter.
Easy to tackle that one type at a time. You need a few trips to take all the tea cups back to the kitchen. Another type is paper clutter that has accumulated. Pick out trash and pull out all the papers/mail you need to deal with. Another type is probably putting away medicines you got out because you were sick. You can work on each type, with breaks in between. Doesn’t all have to be done in one day either.
So yesterday I took my trash out, not unlike every day of the week! However ~ yesterday was different! I opened my dumpster and ~ found a HUGE dead goose! Methinks I'll let my trash pile up in the house until the trash man comes next week! I sincerely hope this meets with your approval, Gayle! (Giggle!)
The Clutter Fairy Well, the goose is GONE! I had neglected to tell you that it was a Canadian wild goose! A HUGE flock of them flew directly over my house this afternoon! Can't help but wonder if they were looking for their missing-in-action buddy! HA!
My family lets the emotional investment rule the process for them. That drives me wild. Yes, I have my stuff but I have to keep my important stuff to a limit, otherwise I feel that it chokes me.
What about when the overwhelm comes from just not having time or energy to even do the 30min for several days in a row & feeling very stuck, not directionless, just in the mud?
I'd check on all the health related things first. Are you getting enough sleep? Have you had a physical this year? Are you eating food that's good for you? Are your blood values in a good range? I'm just suggesting that you verify the low energy doesn't have a physical cause that needs correcting first. Then talk to someone and make sure you're not depressed, in case you need some support in that area. If any of these things are out of whack, it would be affecting your ability to get in motion towards your decluttering goals. Make sure you're healthy and well first, and then try again. Best of luck!
@@TheClutterFairy Yes, depression is a huge stumbling block because it makes you feel overwhelmed and not able to move forward. Also those with early stage dementia may begin to have problems realizing that they have a clutter problem that is fast becoming a hoard. Counseling is great for this, as well as working with a professional organizer. Also poor health can be a stumbling block. If you are in pain it is very hard to be motivated. If you are healthy and well you can also have a friend or two come for a decluttering party and you can do the same for them in return. Put on some music, make sure you are prepared with garbage bags and donation boxes, and have at it!
May I ask you how you learned all these things? Is there a school? Or is it all self-training just working in it day after day? Because I am really impressed by how you know about everything, looks like you have lived so many lives... Congratulations and God Bless, I am enjoying so much your class!
Tsambika Sabine Iakovidis Thanks again! I appreciate that you keep watching so many videos!! To answer your question, some is life experience, some is on the job training - my own jobs and working for others - some is years of training at NAPO conferences and local NAPO chapter meetings. Part of why I knew I was starting the right work was when I realized so much of the work and life experiences I had before I started my business would be directly helpful TO the business. Much of my life personally and professionally directly impact what I do for clients now. It's an amazing thing, and I'm so so so grateful for that fact. I get to do work that makes me so happy, and that I can offer in service to others. I'm grateful everyday for that truth.
@@TheClutterFairy Americans are so ahead of time, it is amazing, here professional organizing is just like a new thing, I looked online the closest one to me is like almost a hundred miles away, and no youtube tutorials! Oh, no Clutter Fairy here, that's for sure! Anyway now my mom's passed away, my kids are grown and I am reorganizing my home... With your help!!! Thank you SO MUCH!!! As you said in one of your lectures, I keep in mind "what will my survivors find after me", so with that in mind I just keep what can be easily processed or reused (as well as family treasures if they would want to keep them, they are all in sight, pictures are on the wall, just a few nicest pieces of china, a 50's fridge and the last bicycle my grandpa made (he had a bicycle fabric), that one is hanging up on the wall in the garage too and looking so nice! Thank you for sharing all your knowledge and experience for free to the whole world! God Bless you and I wish you good luck, may your success go on rising, you deserve all the best!
@@miranda8598 Well, I'm from Italy, here it is really something new, maybe there are some here too, but I've never heard about it. The ladies cope with house cleaners, at the most! Stay safe, blessings! 😷
@@tsambikasabineiakovidis7755 That is very interesting that the need is probably in every country, especially in which the public are extreme consumers and shoppers like the USA; but Marie Kondo is Japanese, I think, so keeping clutter at bay must be quite prevalent in Japan. I always think of Japanese houses as small (Japan is made up of islands with no room to spread out and more and more populous each year) and minimalist; it could just be my imagination but I think of Japanese people as very tidy, very much aware of the "less is more" vibe, and for example, just displaying one thing to better appreciate its beauty. Instead of displaying 25 baskets, find the prettiest one of them all with the most beautiful lines and weaving work, and only keep and display that ONE. When one owns 10 pairs of shoes like me, they are beautiful to see lined up just so. But 50 pairs in sagging piles of original boxes -- that is definitely not pretty and quite unnecessary. Why the heck would anyone collect shoes???? Americans need to rethink about how much they actually NEED rather than what they think they WANT. We often are quite gung ho about a purchase but I wonder about the percentage of people who never even unpack the item from the packaging, or how many hang purchased clothes with the price tags still on, and never even wear them? That is a psychological problem if you ask me, and it needs to be challenged with your rational mind, and that habit broken. If you are addicted to shopping, why not go volunteer somewhere to fill your days like an animal shelter for example? Or a food bank? Do that instead of shop. Shopping is often a sign that one is either lonely, depressed or unhappy. Shopping won't fill that need. Human or animal interactions will though. So look for ways to interact with others. If you are autistic and dislike social situations, then write poetry, paint, garden, tinker on your car, do woodworking, cook, make music, juggle, dance,....whatever floats your boat, they are all better than SHOPPING.
jbean530 Are you in Houston? Library will take them and send them to the Friends of the library warehouse for book sales. Depending on condition and interest they might sell some online to raise money or put in scheduled sale or in a recycle bin.
Thank you. The library here in Folsom, CA said they would just throw them out. The lady asked me to try to give them to someone. They're expensive, old nursing school books. Outdated. I might try half price or I might have to put them in trash. They were over $100 each. 2 big boxes. I'm overwhelmed with my boxes and now getting rid of a lot. Thank you so much. I need help. Blessings.
@@jbean530 Yeah, many of us still have college texts that are outdated and of no use. Recycle them. At least they can be made into new paper. You will save trees this way, which is GREAT!
My mom is a hoarder and I just want to burn everything...at the very least throw it all out. She has an insane about of paper clutter that she has kept for 85 years.
If your mom is 85 and and has been dealing with clutter all that time, trying to deal with it while she's alive will be painful for everyone. This is one of the times I would recommend you only do what you need to as a precaution to keep her safe and healthy. Mitigate the risk of injury only and save the real cleanup for when she's gone. Any major push you try with your mother present will really distress her and be a source of arguments between you. Better to keep the peace and deal with the collection after she's gone. It'll be much less stressful for you to deal with this later. Try to hang on and love your mom despite her collection of stuff - you can do what you want about it all later. Thinking of you! Gayle
@@TheClutterFairy yes. We did have to do a big clean out of her house about 8 years ago and moved her here to my house. In the clean-out while she was alive was pretty stressful course it would have been stressful at any time. Much of what she ended up moving with her here ended up being a bunch of junk and what she sold threw away or gave away was actually things worth the money. It's real craziness. I'm pretty strict about my boundaries with her here. So for the most part I've been able to keep the areas of the house that she lives in relatively clean of course she's not happy about anything being clean. My garage is half full her crap that I plan on going through before she dies because she doesn't even know that it exists out there. Can you give me any insight into why I a hoarder will not put paper clutter into a file cabinet and why they want to Stack it on top of each other instead of in file folders in hanging file system. She is just so adamantly opposed to any kind of a filing system. She will stack random papers on top of each other five feet high if she could. I've asked her about it and the only thing that she can say to me is that she wants to be able to see the papers. So we've tried to go to a more open filing system but she doesn't like that either. I've tried to reason with her that there's no way she can get to the file that's in the middle of the stack or the bottom of the stack but she just doesn't seem to comprehend that concept it doesn't make sense to her. Do you have any insights into this?
@@KMF3 Someone who has crossed the clinical diagnostic line from chronically disorganized to diagnosed with hoarding syndrome actually doesn't think like someone who is not over the diagnostic line. They don't really have to ability to see degrees of value, so nothing is less valuable than other things - it's all equally important. When she says the concept of putting all the papers away in files doesn't make sense to her, she means it. For lots of people who are ADD and very visual learners or those with hoarding syndrome, a paper in a file has disappeared to them. It's like the paper never existed. I can remember what kinds of papers I have in files, but for some people if they can't see it, it doesn't exist. Your mom is not being obstinate - her brain truly processes data and stores information in a different way than you. This is a place when trying to reason with her will be unsuccessful, not because she's doing anything wrong but because your way of processing data in your brain is different than how her brain does it. So, keeping your boundaries in mind, designate an area where she can stack it out how she wants. Then maybe you can put a screen in the room so you can't see the piles easily, or ask to keep that door closed, or something like that. It will be very hard for her to let go of paper and filing it away is not going to be a goal she will ever want to do. The best thing for you is to define where the piles can be and then create a way to hide the piles from casual view so it doesn't bother you as much. But those piles are there for the duration, I'm afraid. She will never understand your need to file it away. You might do some reading on the nature of hoarding syndrome, the brain chemistry and functioning of someone with that diagnosis. It might help you to understand her better and be more accepting of where she's coming from. Thanks for the chats!
@@TheClutterFairy yes I came up with the idea of storage cubes from Wal-Mart. 2 of them in her room, 8 cubes each and she can stack papers in there. My boundary has been to have everything up off the floor. She seems to be ok with the storage cubes but still having a hard time with keeping things off the floor.
@@TheClutterFairy That is the Very Best Advice I've ever heard from anybody on this subject!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm in my 9th decade ~ and ~ well ~~ need I say more?!!?!!!!!! Each piece of paper has memories ~ some good, some not-so-good, but are I part of MY life! To my daughter, they're just pieces of paper with which to start a fire to cook that goose I found in my dumpster. (I commented on THAT earlier today.) ;)
Kon Mari works for those in an apartment or people who haven't accumulated a lot of stuff, but for those with YEARS worth of items it's not the best solution. One size doesn't fit all - there are lots of ways to declutter.
I've watched some of the Kon Mari videos and tried to keep an open mind about the process, but I keep coming back to Gayle's videos, and occasional (i.e., not often enough!) in-home sessions with my favorite professional organizer. I have to keep reminding myself how far I've come in the past 4 years (twice moving a parent who is a hoarder, whose parent was a hoarder, while dealing with my own chronic disorganization). Gayle, thank you so much for sharing these sessions.
I really like how you are not judgmental with people and their stuff. And of all the people that I have listened to about getting rid of clutter, you make the most sense. It makes me happy when you make new videos. and gets me motivated again.
That's what we are aiming for - to keep you motivated!
So many people don't realize how EMOTIONAL it is to get rid of things.
I'm overwhelmed right now. Things piled up during covid because no one visited. That accountability was crucial and idk where to start or how to approach it all now. I just got rid of stacks of mail and washed dishes. That's my start.
Thank you for your commitment to your community!!! I love listening to you as I purge. I was able to chuck a black leaf garbage bag of stuff from my bedroom tonight while listening to two of your videos. Bless you and the work you do! 💝
You touched on getting older and losing control over possessions. Amen. Don't leave the mess for your children or relatives to take care of after you die.
When dad passed away, I had to empty two farm outbuildings filled to the rafters with lumber, broken down lawnmowers, an old fishing boat, tools, and miscellaneous junk. In the house was a mass of clocks and antiques that had been neglected after he stopped selling antiques. We had two large sales and one major auction to get rid of 90-percent of the stuff. What was left over in another basement and a detached garage, we let a salvage company clear everything and keep it for their own purposes.
To do all of this took two-and-a-half years of weekly hard work. (I had to commute from another town each week to do this.) The acreage was sold last winter and the estate was settled after more than three years because of clutter-related delays.
I'm so sorry to hear that your dad's estate was such a big project. People don't realize the more acreage you fill up, the longer it takes your family to empty it! Three sales/auctions and a salvage pickup - that's a ton of work. I can well imagine how you felt when it was all finally done. Congratulations on such an amazing accomplishment and also learning the lesson from all that hard work! I'll bet you've already started clearing out your own stuff. You get my gold star for the week!
My mother-in-law's death was also the catalyst for my husband and I starting our clean out project. We commuted four hours each way, every weekend for two months to empty her house and ready it for sale. She was raised in that house, and she raised her kids in that house, then lived there into her 80s. She had done cleanouts of her own before, but with mixed results. Declining a bit, she tossed all her recent cancelled checks, but had neglected to toss the 10+ year old ones, for example.
While hers was nowhere near as large a project as the OP's, I told my husband that there was no way we were going to leave a project like that for people when we're gone.
We started slow, admittedly. But we picked up steam as we went along. Two summers ago, we sold our house (it showed really well after we decluttered), and moved into a 2-bedroom apartment. In a couple of months, we're moving 1200 miles away, to a 1-bedroom apartment. None of this would have been possible if we hadn't decluttered a little at a time (and occasionally spurted through larger projects). We feel great about it all, and are looking forward to the retirement we've dreamed of, now attainable partly because we're not tethered to our stuff. And guilt free, because no one else will have to deal with it when we're gone.
I am sorry for what you went through. I am afraid my sibling and I will face a very similar situation in the future with our parents. My dad has similar tendencies as yours did. I take consolation hearing that you were eventually able to accomplish the clean-out , and I am taking some pointers on the steps you took to get rid of all the stuff. What fills me with trepidation is how much time it is going to take. I can't just quit my job to deal with the mess my parents will leave behind, and picking away at it for months or years on the weekends sounds like a nightmare. It is a shame that so many older people fail to be proactive while they still have their wits about them and some energy, and instead they just sit back and leave a mess for their children to deal with.
I understand but, try to think this was the thing he loved and brought him so much joy. I didn't have much of a problem till mom died I was thinking I might be having to get divorced at the same time 20 ago ...all of a sudden I was trying to save everything and be safe from losing everything. Most of the time older people who didn't have much or has lost everything ...do this ! I am glad to have access to people like Gayle to help me understand. Now, I can see why I did this and even though I don't have much that is in places, that I have no were to put it, I know what I have to do and I can. I wish you well.
We love you, Gayle! ❤
Thank you Gayle. I have 30 year pile of gathered stuff. 2 carboot loads last month plus 107 things gone in this November to goodwill. Funny how I dont even remember most of what I have decluttered already !! ...yet at the time they were so important. Managing to pare down duplicates. Thats easiest for me as a beginner declutterer and knowing I am keeping the best of the bunch. Have also Gifted 3 electronics to neighbours this week. Timer set daily for 15 min intervals for decluttering. Thats doable. Wearing individual items from bulging wardrobe/closet for a couple of days. If I dont absolutely looove it its gone -off to goodwill. They are baby steps but its a start as you say. Also gave a file of my nans knitting patterns to charity knitters in my town. That was easy to let go of because it would benefit others. Thank you for your knowledgable motivation. I will keep on keeping on. 😘✔🎉🙏💙
Hi Olwyn - it sounds like you're doing great! Keep up with your donation counts because they will be very encouraging when you find yourself flagging. Also, the more you do, the less stressful you find it. There will always be things that you find hard to face, but experience of the process of letting go and moving on makes facing those things easier. Even if you keep some things after you look at them, you've made a much more informed, conscious decision about it and you can feel good about keeping it, for now.
It's nice that you sent the patterns to the knitters - I'm sure they were happy to use them! There's always some crafter out there thrilled to get low cost/no cost craft supplies! Your Nan would be proud of you!
Keep at your 15 minutes a day for 2019, make it a game you play to accomplish that every day, and report back at the end of the year. I'll bet you'll have made a HUGE dent and you'll feel a thousand times lighter by then!
Best of luck to you - G.
@@TheClutterFairy Thank you for your encouraging words Gayle. It is baby steps. I am tired of feeling "tied" to my belongings. I have managed to empty a 5 drawer metal filing cabinet completely! How could I have thought all those peices of paper were important? I have not missed any of them. I think something has shifted in my thinking, I even let go of some cookery books. I have 100 or so. And am now eating the pantry, and using up cleaners in the laundry. I am beginning to see some daylight in those cupboards. Its a frustratingly slow process but I am not turning back now. I am finding I have to make many "passes" over the same areas ie. kitchen but each time am able to rid myself of a couple of items. Is this normal? NB.I lost EVERYTHING a couple of times in my life and I think this is where it has come from. Please make another video soon. Again thank you. Your help IS appreciated. 🇦🇺✔🕯🌲🎅🎯
I have been writing down what i do since Oct 2020. and it helps a lot when you feel like you did not do enough. Sometimes I take picture of what is going out. I feels really good every time I go to donate. Everyday I drop something off is a good day no matter what else happens.
You truly know what you are talking about which makes your advice SO useful! I only watch about 8 minutes at a time because your videos are That Good! Thank you!!
I love that you watch a bit of it at a time, to make it consumable at your speed. That's smart! I'm glad you like the videos - thanks for watching the channel!
I am still overwhelmed. For a few years now. Not quite sure when it started.
I will listen to this video in hope of some answers and help.
It seems as if i take two steps forward making decent progress and then stall. Then, things explode again.
It is so frustrating, but I do know that there is hope. ❤️✝️❤️ So i will keep on keeping on.
Hi there - lots of people throw themselves into decluttering, hoping to solve a lifetime problem in a few steps. Instead, aim for a habit change of pursuing something about decluttering every day. One small consistent habit of change, over and over, will make a HUGE difference over time without being overwhelming in the present! Watch the video more than once if it helps you stay on track too.
I know you can do it! 15 minutes a day!
sit down and think about what was going on when this started ...I mean if you are talking about keeping things or hoarding things as I did for awhile. I figured out with help from listening to people like Gayle--The Clutter Fairy- that it was when 2 tragic events was happening in my life.
Thank you for your candid and caring approach! I just discovered you, and your magic has rekindled the fire to get my house in order!
Kenna Stephenson That’s exciting, Kenna! Go for it - you’ll be so glad you did!
I dug under the kitchen sink and gathered all the brown bags and gave them away! Sorted out the pen and pencil drawer and gave away a lot of them! Thanks for the advice in your video to take a step, even if it is small, its a step! You also make me laugh:) in this world now we need that:) thanks! I just wanted you to tell me to rock on!:) sometimes, you only get just one!
Thanks Gayle for your inspirational videos. I have just sorted my too hard basket and thrown out most of it and I feel awesome.
Good job!!
I decluttered some more this morning. (Whittling away at it) I am one of those people you mentioned who work better in the morning. This talk was really encouraging!
Keep chipping away Anna - you'll get there. And in the meantime you'll be noticing what you've been doing to collect stuff and changing your own behavior in the process. Good luck!
Great video ... such good guidance and fun personality ... I just feel better and not so burdened when I listen to you. Making progress 👍💜
For years I’ve been trying to declutter, I did some little progress but still suffering on this subject that affects my life.. From now on I really want to go through it. I loved this vídeo, I feel motivated and realised, thanks a lot, you are lovely and your positive and calm vibe it really helps. Wishing that all of us that are here wanting to have an easy, practical, clean, beautiful and supportive living space will be happily successful :) much love
I motivate myself by 1)having Vision for the space 2)making a decision about "5" items daily = (trash,declutter,find home).
Thanks for the pep talk. I wish I had found you sooner. I do realize I have incorporated the chisel to the iceberg and still saying I don't know where to start when I looked around this trailer I've downsized to and finally see an end in sight where if I had to move the trailer stuff would not go flying. I did the every time I get up to use the bathroom I will do something, move something, clean something even if only one thing or 5, 10 or 15 minutes. I have had health challenges and that's a large reason why the clutter and accumulation but I do have hoarding tendencies when it comes to sentimental stuff. I actually felt nervous because looking around the kitchen living area I could actually envision an end in sight to at least having clear surfaces and stuff not flying I still have some boxes and stuff in my cargo trailer that I use as my storage unit to go through.
Yes, definitely agree about everyday doing something..after 2 wks, it is amazing what is accomplished & the momentum built.
you are a genius and I really appreciate your advice. I am overwhelmed and want to get over that feeling . Thank you !!!
You're back! Yeah!
Great advice and ideas. Inspires me to get back to work. Thank you!
Keep going Diana! You've done so much already - your goal must be in sight!
Your videos are always precious, I have been working all day on the chaos, overwhelm panic frustration are high but listening to you always helps, thank you
Wish I could give you a hug! Your videos have gotten me through my nesting period of my fourth pregnancy. Your encouraging words have kept me going even on days when I have felt I just couldn't move another muscle. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience in such actionable and practical ways!
Your videos have really helped me in implementation, motivation & inspiration .. I listen to you daily = working my way thru all your podcasts. I have to look around to see if there is anything to deal with = things are tidy, clean, & organized = I am continuously trying to consolidate or downsz in some way, so yes, I can always go thru a drawer or container again. 😊
I'm an extreme procrastinator. We moved into our current rented house four years and four months ago. Everything that was put into my bedroom in boxes and bags is still in there, basically untouched. I never want to start something I can't finish in a relatively short time frame, so I just don't. This house has very little storage space, so I don't have a place to put most of my things. I need to get rid of a lot of stuff if I want to put everything away. I sleep on the couch, because I don't have a bed and no room for one. If I would have done a little bit at a time every day, I could have put everything away and bought a bed. After watching this video I computed how many hours I could have worked on getting rid of stuff and organizing if I worked on it just 30 minutes a day. I came up with . . . wait for it . . . drum roll please . . . 796 hours!! Lord knows if I had worked on it just 30 minutes a day for the first year after we moved in (182.5 hours), I could have been sleeping in an actual bed for the last three years and four months. Working on it for an hour a day would have accomplished it even sooner. I plan on working on it for at least an hour a day from now on. I hope I don't fall back into my procrastinating ways!
That's a reality check in that calculation, isn't it? Good job explaining it clearly to yourself. Just keep dreaming of that bed in the bedroom! If you don't have much space to put things yet, then just concentrate on removing what you know you don't want to keep, and consolidating boxes of sorted things that you do want to keep. Figure out how many boxes need to be cleared to fit a bed in the room, and keep thinking of the bed as your goal! When you want to procrastinate, do 15 minutes instead of 30. Just keep reminding yourself that at the end of the work is sleeping in a real bed!!
@@TheClutterFairy Thank you so much for your reply! My problem is that I want to keep everything! But I know I can't if I want to live a more comfortable, less chaotic life. I just have to bite the bullet and get rid of some things I probably should have parted with a long, long time ago. It's time!
Did u start? Get out trash & easy to donate to start … it is hard to start. A friend to sit and support you as you get in gear is mega!! I struggle too
Me too!
@@suzanbak1 July 4 will be 6 years since we moved into this house. My room is still filled up. I did manage to collect several boxes and shopping bags of clothes that I'll never wear again, and I've put them in my car to take to a nearby homeless shelter. I never did work on my room one hour or even 30 minutes a day like I said I was going to. I still sleep on the couch, and my back and hip joints are suffering because of it. I don't know what it will take for me to get my butt in gear! 🥺
Love this video. Lovely presentation and very calming. When overwhelmed I feel broken in some way..your calm advice is so kind and understanding that I feel hopeful and ready to get started, one step at a time. Thank you!
I was listening to this (and a bunch of other decluttering videos) while I was doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen. I've always thought that it's not that much but tonight I feel accomplished. I've been a messy person pretty much all my life. I do clean but when I do I tend to obsess over it and feel obliged to get everything done at once.
Right now my bedroom is super cluttered and messy. Even my bed's not spared from the clutter I don't even want to sleep on it. But tonight you've inspired me to clear out my bed from clothes that shouldn't be there and change the sheets. It's only a tiny task but that'll be my win for the day (once I get it done).
Thank you for sharing your words of advice and wisdom. I really appreciate it. ❤
That’s great! You WILL feel accomplished when you get the bed reset and then you can immediately enjoy your the results if your hard work. Great job!
Best videos on the matter , by far.
High praise! Thanks you so much for sharing your comment. Thanks for watching!
Thank you for encouraging and not shaming . Your advise is valued.
God bless you! I am overcoming a situation of total overwhelm. Recovering from my home being flooded 2 years in a row. Just90-95+% done with the 2016 tax day flood renovation and unpacking my things and packing and repacking boxes for my daughter's transition to medical school when the 2nd flood came in. The past year has been crazy with another total demolition and renovation... among several family crisis ... and inheritance and natural accumulation, as such one purchases things not knowing if you still have this item or not. Just now beginning to unbox things even though the renovation is not yet complete. It's difficult to let almost anything go after one has already lost so much! My desire to simplify is a daily struggle with the desire to re-establish the stuff that supported the lifestyle I had. The bottom line is... it's all just stuff, and does that reflect "me, now?" All of our "stuff" carries a burden of time to sort through to re establish the life goals previously set, I believe you instill an honest awareness that we all desire a newness to the pattern in one's life. Thank you so very much for your insight!
Kate Draus : And the confusion comes because it was always too much stuff!
Thanks Kate - so many in Houston are in your situation. As if flooding your home isn't bad enough, flooding twice or three times in as many years is enough to break anyone's spirit! That's a lot to deal with and come out smiling. Finally moving back in is the perfect time to re-evaluate all that you own, especially after such a loss. You don't want the loss to trigger you to cling to everything you touch, though I see how that would happen after such a trauma. Instead, take your time unpacking, and give each item it's due consideration. Do I really still want this in my life, or can I use this moment to let it go to help someone else? Surely having to pack it all up was traumatic enough, so before you rush to unpack it and throw it all back into the house so you can stop living in boxes, take the time to think whether having this item in your life really enhances your daily life or not. If it's a keepsake, then ask if it's better than other keepsakes of the same type, or is it a kind of duplicate? Go for emotional richness in keepsakes instead of volume of keepsakes.
If you let yourself evaluate your belongings as you put them away, you'll feel better about the house when you're moved in again, and hopefully feel lighter also. Maybe that process of choosing each thing to stay will bring you comfort and relief from the overwhelming loss. Best of luck to you! G.
I'm a really hard worker who fell into the clutter trap (some of my mother's stuff and some of mine). That is why I had the mindset that I had to get more done in less time and when I haven't been able to, kind of have been down on myself. This is why I appreciate your chipping away at approach and I'm glad I discovered your channel.. Currently I'm working on our home office area, which seems like an overwhelming task and just generalised declutter and organization.
Hi Deborah! Home offices are the WORST! That's a big task you've set yourself, but I've got lots of videos on the channel talking about organizing paper, tackling paper, etc. I'm sure you can find some support and ideas from those videos. Remember that you don't need to finish it all at once or in a big hurry. You just need to keep giving it your attention regularly and you'll get there. Best of luck!
You really know what kind of tops work well with you. Love! Love! The necklace too!!!!!
I was just thinking how pretty that blouse was! It's so unique! It looks handmade. ♥️
Thank you for saying so! One of my beady friends bought this for me and I love it! It's blocks of different batiked fabric stitched together. One of my favorites. The necklace is a beaded project designed by Beki Haley that I beaded myself after taking her class. It's a perfect match to the blouse I think! One of my more colorful outfits - thanks again!
I have thrown things away and given good things away. My problem is that weeks later I needed what I got rid of. That made me want to just keep it all, but I would rather have space and think it wasn't that important anyway !
Put it in a box for a few months. If you really need it you can get it out if not then get rid of.
That's the thing with clearing clutter, it takes consideration of each thing before tossing it. Let's face it - there are plenty of things that we can toss away without giving away the good things. Get rid of the things that are definitely of no further use first.
Lots of good and practical ideas for overcoming inertia and patting yourself on the back for even the smallest accomplishments. For some things a person doesn't want to part with, such as a baby crib when you are long past childbearing, take a photo of it and then donate to a women's shelter or some charity that will give it to parents in dire need. I know that when I clean or organize, putting on upbeat music helps me. It keeps that part of my mind active while I make decisions about what to keep and what to toss or donate. I am about to work on my craft cabinet -- I have kept lots of art supplies I had as an art student in college -- the watercolor kit with brushes, oil paints with brushes and other tools, canvas, papers, etc. I may not give up the brushes for various media b/c those are super expensive, but I am ready to toss old tubes of watercolor and oil paint. If I ever want to get back onto those media I can easily buy new paints and stretched canvases. Gonna go clean out that cabinet rrrrrrright NOW!!!
Done! Craft cabinet cleaned out in one hour. Result: more empty cabinet and two garbage bags of trash. I would have saved stuff for my church rummage sale but I am isolating so it goes in the trash this year. No big deal.
What a wonderful mother to have done all that work ahead of time and made your lives so much easier🙂 that’s what I’m trying to do also, and helping my mother do likewise.
I'm forever grateful to my mom for doing it, and we even got to do some of it together. Good memories for me.
Love this video!!! It motivates me and reminds me that slow progress is my goal, rather than all-or-none perfection!
Also, what a beautiful necklace!!! Did you make it, Gail?
I did make it and thank you! One of my favorites!
No point is aiming for perfect - you just want to get some stuff done! Think of the Energizer Bunny - it keeps going and going....LOL!
Okay..Im not sure this is a "healthy" strategy.. But I have issues with clothing..so sometimes I think of a friends style I like..and I think,would she wear this? And it works! Its always something I held onto just in case..so by putting it into perspective as in "will my peers wear it?" I usually laugh because the answer is most always a huge NO.. Making it super easy to toss..hahaha
I'm definitely an expert on running myself down!
A list of what I've done has been very helpful. 15 minutes a day works.
I need to be my own cheerleader.
Kathy B
I'm at the hard part right now.
I know you can get it done! Keep at it, 15 minutes a day!
Steady and slow, Kathy. Every decision made is one that you won't have to make again. Don't be hard on yourself for "all the starts you seem to have to make" cos every time you gone back to do a mini de-clutter your brain has gad a break and you start with a peak of brain power. Also, in the 'break time' the back of your brain ajusts, processes and firms up on the basis of your last decisions which will all make it a bit quicker the next mini session. And further, you'll probably find that you finally get through the 'hard stuff' and then you discover that lots of the remaining piles are super quick to clear. (Fruits of my own experience devlittering and language teaching.)
Blessings to you. G Ire
After the first sweep it becomes easier and enjoyable to get rid of stuff~just keep peeling the onion!
Yep absolutely. When we moved ten years ago I think I did three sweeps and then we put some stuff in storage for the duration of the showings and sale so the rooms in the house appeared larger. Removed many paintings too and all family photos; all ideas picked up from books about moving and selling, and staging a home for sale.
What a beautiful necklace! Great topic- very helpful and useful.
Thanks Andrea!
Thank you, Charlotte!
So nice to see you again, what a great seminar 👏. Have a Wonderful Thanksgiving 🍁🦃🍽.
You say the most "right on target" things! That alone makes me want to carefully hear what you have to say!
Thank you for saying so! I appreciate it - thanks for watching!
I wish you would do an episode on adults with undiagnosed ADD. Also, undiagnosed low thyroid will produce sluggishness and brain fog.
Those are very good topics! Thanks for the suggestions. I may have to bring in a more experienced ADD person to cover it, but I can do that! Thanks again!
Absolutely true. I have both of these conditions, and probably adrenal fatigue as well. I am so mentally and psychologically motivated to declutter and organize. However, my body wants to sit on the couch reading about it and watching TH-cam videos like this one. Even when I manage to overcome overwhelm and get started, my ADD keeps finding distractions and taking me off task. I tell myself I'll just do this one thing for 5 minutes (turns into an hour or more. Everyday, I start the day thinking - I'm really going to get a lot accomplished today. And every evening, I wonder where the day went, sigh.
B I started trying to deal with my ADHD back before it had a name or any attention. It was the jolt of living in one place longer than 3 years&having a ‘friend’ drop me due to my intensity and high energized ‘flitting’. I used “The Side-tracked Sisters” books to help impose some order on my life chaos both physical and mental. It helped me immensely until life events threw me into major depression. BTW, a side of ADHD that outsiders do not understand is the hyper-focus: I work so hard to get into an activity/project, that ,once I finally get started, I persist on doing it for hours w/o remembering to eat or drink or pick the kids up from school! Now I am old, the thyroid went into hypothyroid and I no longer have the physical bouncing from thing to thing, but the mental ‘flitting’ is the same. When I can conquer the overwhelm I,too, do NOT want to stop to fix dinner/lunch etc. for my husband&myself & he is only recently willing to do it or buy fast food........ Yes, this “dostading”(death cleaning) wakes me up throughout the night! I am trying to cheer myself for continuing on this mountain climb even when no one else is willing to do so.
@@bbrewer3127 ..I miss the old me as for as the thyroid I so get it. Only thing that ever helped me was a Keto diet. Carbs seem to suck the life out of me. I stop my diet and now I'm back there again. As sisters in the thyroid war I know it's a lot tougher than I ever thought. I wish you well
This is amazing!!! Thanks for the help
Heidi Samojluk I'm so glad it's helpful!
Once you start and 15 or 30 minutes is up. You will want to keep on going. You'll be surprised at how much you can get done once you start. At the end you Won.
I love the log idea. If I do 'To Do' lists, it just feels like I'm resetting to zero when I cross off items and port the unfinished tasks to a new list.
You have to do what is encouraging for you! A log is a great way to show yourself how much you've done over time. Totally worth the effort to make the log as your own support. Good luck with it!
Spend money on things that enrich your life like travel and education. Clothing, shoes, luxury car or a boat don't enrich your life, help you grow inside, and see things from new perspectives. Spend money on things that feed your soul -- the spiritual, the intellectual. You don't need to buy books, that is what libraries are for. Buy an e-reader to avoid having scads of books you read once and that's it, it sits on a shelf forever. Restrict yourself to a dozen pairs of shoes. Realize there are shoeless people the world over and be thankful for those dozen pairs. Buy a new pair, toss out an old pair or two. Smoking, drugs, and addictions are expensive and wasteful of opportunities and life itself. Use the money you spend on cigarettes or alcohol to travel, go to college, or go somewhere to really rest and recharge when you vacation. It's all about PRIORITIES. What are YOURS? Decluttering is about making choices to be calmer and less stressed over time.
Your home should be your soft, tidy place to land after work. Who wants to come home to clutter? Not me.
Virginia, I just loved your post. Absolute truth💕
@@tamimartin9149 Thank you. Just what I have gleaned over the decades. The idea of buying so many clothes or shoes or three kitchen appliances where one will do all those jobs, or too many technological gadgets makes me shudder. If you watch Marie Kondo videos, this is what people all have way too much of and suddenly you become a prisoner to all this useless stuff. It really is insidious, so if you are able to pare down and then as you bring in something new, toss out two old items or donate them. That way your possessions stay lean and you can move in a real hurry if you have to.
You look great! Love your blouse and accessories! You havd great content! Thank you! 💕
I've listened to your vids over and over. I think too many times we discount the work we accomplish. I wish I had of taken photos of all the stuff we shed and shred!
Right?! It's hard to remember when it's gone how heavy and dense it was when you started. Sometimes I count trips to the donation place, or bags of trash and donation taken out, just as a way to show how much has been done.
Thank you. I was forgetting what went out and feeling like it didn't make a difference. Pictures and writing is a good idea.
❤...That was an absolutely awesome video ! Listening to things, whilst I work in the house, is generally a 👍 thing with me, but I was in a bit of a slump this morning and nothing I clicked onto appealed to me until I found your video. Thank you so much for the inspiration. It made doing the dishes a pleasure, and I've saved it in my bookmarks for future reference. I'll be checking out your other videos as well. Thanks again ❤.
So glad you found inspiration! It’s what we’re always hope to do. Join us live sometime, every Tuesday at 12noon US Central time. You can find the zoom link on our website, www.clutterfairyhouston.com
❤...Thank you so much. I may take you up on your offer one day 🙂...I'll have to check on the time though as I'm in Australia. I don't believe 'Professional Organisers' are a 'thing' in my local area. When I looked online previously (admittedly quite a few years ago now), I did manage to find one in my area, but she had moved on from that occupation, and the only others I could find were in the big cities, far away from where I live, but that's okay, as I'm currently not (mentally) in the market for one yet, despite the fact that I do have clutter issues. But if I were ever to get help from a Professional Organiser I would love it to be from someone like you. Love your non-judgemental and kind character. There should be more people around like you. 🙂👋
Love your wisdom.
Always look forward to your chat! Thank you for sharing your expertise, so valuable. I'm thinking the necklace is one of your beading projects, it looks beautiful on you :)
It is one of my beaded projects, and thank you! I love that necklace. And you're welcome for the video - I'm so glad that you got something out of it!
Comforting words for overwhelmed ❤thanks Gayle
Any time! You're welcome~
You are so very gifted with your words and speech. Am getting so much more from you than other organizers/ fads/Marie condo. Thank you so much. It's a journey.
*gifted
@@janicecrosby1986 Thanks Janice - it is definitely a journey!
Inspirational & informative.
on getting started - I always encourage people to just sort, set aside making decluttering decisions, just find out what they have. When you know what you have, you can then begin, with more confidence, making decluttering decisions (and your mind will subconsciously be thinking about what to decluttter anyway).
Excellent! You could probably use this topic every year. I love the woman who mapped her runs on the map as if she was running to the Pacific Ocean. :-)
This is really helpful. Thanks!
Gratitude ❣
Just start on anything. One day I didn’t want to do any organising one day but I got new second hand draws nd had to clean them b4 bring them inside. And after that well I’d put em away nd move thing round cleaned organised for 13 hours like just start is the best thing
Wow you got started and ended up doing 13 hours?!? Amazing! That's a lot of work! I don't recommend doing so many hours in one stretch for most, but good for you that you got a ton of work done.
The Clutter Fairy yeah long day but I didn’t wanna deal with it the next day nd if I didn’t finish stuff would be all over the house even worse then wen I started nd in the way so while it was a nice day windows open sunny nd put on some tunes nd just went for it it didn’t feel like 13hours but hey
Thank you! This was wonderful and realistic. I wish you lived near me in NC. My mindset is changing. I have small time slots before and after work, and work some long days.
Headed to Greensboro tomorrow for the holidays! I hear the snow is about melted again. Happy Holidays!
If someone else throws out your stuff, it's easier for resentment to fester. It feels like disrespect to you.
NEVER touch other people's stuff.
Kathy B
So right, Kathy. The most 'daring' thing that one might hypothetically consider would be moving all the other person's "offending items" into their own pile in order to make space for the decluttering you are doing. That way the other person can be 100% assured that "Everything is there! I just needed to put them all together for you. You might have some time to see if there's anything there that you don't need any more. If you need em all, then we just need to sort out how best to store them cos I've just done some soace creation in this room". (Might not go down well in every situation but it might!). I admit that I'm blessed with a spouse who very early on got the benefits of having less. G Ire
Thank you another hour of cleaning and sorting managed. Only 2 bag fulls leaving this time but third of a room reclaimed. Yay ty so glad you think I did great means a lot.
Great video/advice 👍🏽
Hello Gale, this video is very meaningful, not just relating to clutter but relating to projects in personal and work life! In fact all the concepts of overwhelm, motivation, back log, habit formations, time management and celebrations are used as well in relation to GTD Getting things done and productivity. Thank you for this video full of useful ideas. Please keep them coming, especially the ways you help people overcome the inner resistance and emotional issues because it seems we are our biggest obstacle sometimes ;)
We are our biggest obstacle most of the time, for whatever personal reason or circumstance. But everyone can make some headway, regardless of your limitations. And making headway often in turn lessens the limitations, which is a surprise benefit. Glad to be of help to you!
What a great video! I like this format the best. I took notes while watching and there is a lot of meat in your presentation and answers. I think I am on the edge of the line of being able to do this or not. It is a scary thought. Have lived in my house for 40 years. I am also working on my office at work. My thinking is that if I can let go of paper cutter there (my nemesis), then certainly I can do it at home. Thanks for your comforting, thoughtful video and your answers to comments. I do wish you were in Tampa. I would hire you in a heartbeat.
tvsma You can do it! You're just learning a new skill set. As far as helping you, I'd be happy to fly there! But if you're interested we could do some sessions virtually. Just contact me via the website.
Merry Christmas 🎄🎁
I am walking everyday, and everything counts/////
When I'm sick, I'll spend almost all my time sleeping and eating or drinking tea. As a result, a bunch of clutter builds up and when I feel well enough I'm overwhelmed by a backlog of work and the growth of clutter.
Easy to tackle that one type at a time. You need a few trips to take all the tea cups back to the kitchen. Another type is paper clutter that has accumulated. Pick out trash and pull out all the papers/mail you need to deal with. Another type is probably putting away medicines you got out because you were sick. You can work on each type, with breaks in between. Doesn’t all have to be done in one day either.
So yesterday I took my trash out, not unlike every day of the week! However ~ yesterday was different! I opened my dumpster and ~ found a HUGE dead goose!
Methinks I'll let my trash pile up in the house until the trash man comes next week!
I sincerely hope this meets with your approval, Gayle! (Giggle!)
Good grief!! That's distressing! I think I'd wait too!
@@TheClutterFairy
Glad you're in agreement with me! Gotta wait till NEXT Wednesday! Pick-up is bi-weekly. ; ( SOOOOOO glad it's NOT summer! Phew!
The Clutter Fairy
Well, the goose is GONE! I had neglected to tell you that it was a Canadian wild goose! A HUGE flock of them flew directly over my house this afternoon! Can't help but wonder if they were looking for their missing-in-action buddy! HA!
My family lets the emotional investment rule the process for them. That drives me wild. Yes, I have my stuff but I have to keep my important stuff to a limit, otherwise I feel that it chokes me.
What about when the overwhelm comes from just not having time or energy to even do the 30min for several days in a row & feeling very stuck, not directionless, just in the mud?
I'd check on all the health related things first. Are you getting enough sleep? Have you had a physical this year? Are you eating food that's good for you? Are your blood values in a good range? I'm just suggesting that you verify the low energy doesn't have a physical cause that needs correcting first. Then talk to someone and make sure you're not depressed, in case you need some support in that area. If any of these things are out of whack, it would be affecting your ability to get in motion towards your decluttering goals. Make sure you're healthy and well first, and then try again. Best of luck!
@@TheClutterFairy Yes, depression is a huge stumbling block because it makes you feel overwhelmed and not able to move forward. Also those with early stage dementia may begin to have problems realizing that they have a clutter problem that is fast becoming a hoard. Counseling is great for this, as well as working with a professional organizer. Also poor health can be a stumbling block. If you are in pain it is very hard to be motivated. If you are healthy and well you can also have a friend or two come for a decluttering party and you can do the same for them in return. Put on some music, make sure you are prepared with garbage bags and donation boxes, and have at it!
May I ask you how you learned all these things? Is there a school? Or is it all self-training just working in it day after day? Because I am really impressed by how you know about everything, looks like you have lived so many lives... Congratulations and God Bless, I am enjoying so much your class!
Tsambika Sabine Iakovidis Thanks again! I appreciate that you keep watching so many videos!! To answer your question, some is life experience, some is on the job training - my own jobs and working for others - some is years of training at NAPO conferences and local NAPO chapter meetings. Part of why I knew I was starting the right work was when I realized so much of the work and life experiences I had before I started my business would be directly helpful TO the business. Much of my life personally and professionally directly impact what I do for clients now. It's an amazing thing, and I'm so so so grateful for that fact. I get to do work that makes me so happy, and that I can offer in service to others. I'm grateful everyday for that truth.
@@TheClutterFairy Americans are so ahead of time, it is amazing, here professional organizing is just like a new thing, I looked online the closest one to me is like almost a hundred miles away, and no youtube tutorials! Oh, no Clutter Fairy here, that's for sure! Anyway now my mom's passed away, my kids are grown and I am reorganizing my home... With your help!!! Thank you SO MUCH!!! As you said in one of your lectures, I keep in mind "what will my survivors find after me", so with that in mind I just keep what can be easily processed or reused (as well as family treasures if they would want to keep them, they are all in sight, pictures are on the wall, just a few nicest pieces of china, a 50's fridge and the last bicycle my grandpa made (he had a bicycle fabric), that one is hanging up on the wall in the garage too and looking so nice! Thank you for sharing all your knowledge and experience for free to the whole world! God Bless you and I wish you good luck, may your success go on rising, you deserve all the best!
Tsambika Sabine Iakovidis Where in the World do You live? I’m from Sweden. I don’t think there are many home organizers here, but They do exist. 😊
@@miranda8598 Well, I'm from Italy, here it is really something new, maybe there are some here too, but I've never heard about it. The ladies cope with house cleaners, at the most! Stay safe, blessings! 😷
@@tsambikasabineiakovidis7755 That is very interesting that the need is probably in every country, especially in which the public are extreme consumers and shoppers like the USA; but Marie Kondo is Japanese, I think, so keeping clutter at bay must be quite prevalent in Japan. I always think of Japanese houses as small (Japan is made up of islands with no room to spread out and more and more populous each year) and minimalist; it could just be my imagination but I think of Japanese people as very tidy, very much aware of the "less is more" vibe, and for example, just displaying one thing to better appreciate its beauty. Instead of displaying 25 baskets, find the prettiest one of them all with the most beautiful lines and weaving work, and only keep and display that ONE. When one owns 10 pairs of shoes like me, they are beautiful to see lined up just so. But 50 pairs in sagging piles of original boxes -- that is definitely not pretty and quite unnecessary. Why the heck would anyone collect shoes???? Americans need to rethink about how much they actually NEED rather than what they think they WANT. We often are quite gung ho about a purchase but I wonder about the percentage of people who never even unpack the item from the packaging, or how many hang purchased clothes with the price tags still on, and never even wear them? That is a psychological problem if you ask me, and it needs to be challenged with your rational mind, and that habit broken. If you are addicted to shopping, why not go volunteer somewhere to fill your days like an animal shelter for example? Or a food bank? Do that instead of shop. Shopping is often a sign that one is either lonely, depressed or unhappy. Shopping won't fill that need. Human or animal interactions will though. So look for ways to interact with others. If you are autistic and dislike social situations, then write poetry, paint, garden, tinker on your car, do woodworking, cook, make music, juggle, dance,....whatever floats your boat, they are all better than SHOPPING.
Where are you located?
We’re in Houston, Tx
What about expensive old, hard bound, school books? The library can't take them? Do they go in the garbage?
jbean530 Are you in Houston? Library will take them and send them to the Friends of the library warehouse for book sales. Depending on condition and interest they might sell some online to raise money or put in scheduled sale or in a recycle bin.
jbean530 if you take to Half Price books they might donate them or recycle them depending on the individual books.
Thank you. The library here in Folsom, CA said they would just throw them out. The lady asked me to try to give them to someone. They're expensive, old nursing school books. Outdated. I might try half price or I might have to put them in trash. They were over $100 each. 2 big boxes. I'm overwhelmed with my boxes and now getting rid of a lot. Thank you so much. I need help. Blessings.
@@jbean530 Yeah, many of us still have college texts that are outdated and of no use. Recycle them. At least they can be made into new paper. You will save trees this way, which is GREAT!
hi there long time no see
busy cluttering up lol
Audio is too quiet.
My mom is a hoarder and I just want to burn everything...at the very least throw it all out. She has an insane about of paper clutter that she has kept for 85 years.
If your mom is 85 and and has been dealing with clutter all that time, trying to deal with it while she's alive will be painful for everyone. This is one of the times I would recommend you only do what you need to as a precaution to keep her safe and healthy. Mitigate the risk of injury only and save the real cleanup for when she's gone. Any major push you try with your mother present will really distress her and be a source of arguments between you. Better to keep the peace and deal with the collection after she's gone. It'll be much less stressful for you to deal with this later. Try to hang on and love your mom despite her collection of stuff - you can do what you want about it all later. Thinking of you! Gayle
@@TheClutterFairy yes. We did have to do a big clean out of her house about 8 years ago and moved her here to my house. In the clean-out while she was alive was pretty stressful course it would have been stressful at any time. Much of what she ended up moving with her here ended up being a bunch of junk and what she sold threw away or gave away was actually things worth the money. It's real craziness. I'm pretty strict about my boundaries with her here. So for the most part I've been able to keep the areas of the house that she lives in relatively clean of course she's not happy about anything being clean. My garage is half full her crap that I plan on going through before she dies because she doesn't even know that it exists out there. Can you give me any insight into why I a hoarder will not put paper clutter into a file cabinet and why they want to Stack it on top of each other instead of in file folders in hanging file system. She is just so adamantly opposed to any kind of a filing system. She will stack random papers on top of each other five feet high if she could. I've asked her about it and the only thing that she can say to me is that she wants to be able to see the papers. So we've tried to go to a more open filing system but she doesn't like that either. I've tried to reason with her that there's no way she can get to the file that's in the middle of the stack or the bottom of the stack but she just doesn't seem to comprehend that concept it doesn't make sense to her. Do you have any insights into this?
@@KMF3 Someone who has crossed the clinical diagnostic line from chronically disorganized to diagnosed with hoarding syndrome actually doesn't think like someone who is not over the diagnostic line. They don't really have to ability to see degrees of value, so nothing is less valuable than other things - it's all equally important. When she says the concept of putting all the papers away in files doesn't make sense to her, she means it. For lots of people who are ADD and very visual learners or those with hoarding syndrome, a paper in a file has disappeared to them. It's like the paper never existed. I can remember what kinds of papers I have in files, but for some people if they can't see it, it doesn't exist. Your mom is not being obstinate - her brain truly processes data and stores information in a different way than you. This is a place when trying to reason with her will be unsuccessful, not because she's doing anything wrong but because your way of processing data in your brain is different than how her brain does it. So, keeping your boundaries in mind, designate an area where she can stack it out how she wants. Then maybe you can put a screen in the room so you can't see the piles easily, or ask to keep that door closed, or something like that. It will be very hard for her to let go of paper and filing it away is not going to be a goal she will ever want to do. The best thing for you is to define where the piles can be and then create a way to hide the piles from casual view so it doesn't bother you as much. But those piles are there for the duration, I'm afraid. She will never understand your need to file it away.
You might do some reading on the nature of hoarding syndrome, the brain chemistry and functioning of someone with that diagnosis. It might help you to understand her better and be more accepting of where she's coming from. Thanks for the chats!
@@TheClutterFairy yes I came up with the idea of storage cubes from Wal-Mart. 2 of them in her room, 8 cubes each and she can stack papers in there. My boundary has been to have everything up off the floor. She seems to be ok with the storage cubes but still having a hard time with keeping things off the floor.
@@TheClutterFairy
That is the Very Best Advice I've ever heard from anybody on this subject!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm in my 9th decade ~ and ~ well ~~ need I say more?!!?!!!!!!
Each piece of paper has memories ~ some good, some not-so-good, but are I part of MY life! To my daughter, they're just pieces of paper with which to start a fire to cook that goose I found in my dumpster. (I commented on THAT earlier today.) ;)
one word: kon mari
Kon Mari works for those in an apartment or people who haven't accumulated a lot of stuff, but for those with YEARS worth of items it's not the best solution. One size doesn't fit all - there are lots of ways to declutter.
That's not one word.
Kon Mari is a good approach for some. Anyone can try it on and see if it fits for them! Glad to hear it's been working for you.
@@tporters1 There are a million ways to declutter, so try processes until you find one that works for you!
I've watched some of the Kon Mari videos and tried to keep an open mind about the process, but I keep coming back to Gayle's videos, and occasional (i.e., not often enough!) in-home sessions with my favorite professional organizer. I have to keep reminding myself how far I've come in the past 4 years (twice moving a parent who is a hoarder, whose parent was a hoarder, while dealing with my own chronic disorganization). Gayle, thank you so much for sharing these sessions.
Just throw it out! All you need is a few outfits for work,.and your phone.and laptop.
You're obviously not a homeowner.
Then my question is, "why are you here?"