A friend of mind, a nurses tutor, after years of being in the medical world had to undergo a gallbladder operation. It was her first time actually being a patient having brought her pupils around wards for years. She researched the best surgeon for this surgery, went to the best hospital for the op. Yet afterwards said that that was the first time she realised how helpless you are as a patient and that, although her treatment was good, there were things she would change. It's not until you are in that patients position do you realise how scary and vulnerable it can be.
I was raised by a covert narcissist, then married an overt narcissist. I've been free from both for almost a year now. They're absolutely sadistic monsters. If you realize you're with one - don't walk, RUN!
As for me, since I've been married for 20+ years to a gal who has some of these tendencies, I've decided not to run, but to learn instead. It has helped me get a grip back on my sanity and build strengths that I never had before. I generally don't like to run from a challenge. So, remember, running is not the only option.
@@billr8276 Nooo, friend, that is horrible, dangerous advice! Just because you understand their behavior doesn't make them any less toxic or damaging. If she is an actual narcissist (NPD) I'd recommend you leave asap, why waste valuable time with someone who doesn't/can't love you... they don't even exist, they have no "self". I studied psychology before marriage to my vulnerable narcissist wife, I understood it all, I'm head strong, and I still suffered mentally/physically by staying, it's no way to live. I prefer my challenges to yield a reward in the end.
Great thoughtful response. A little more about me: I was raised in a household with two alcoholic parents. My older brother ran away from home. I decided to stay at home and decided, come hell or high water, I was going to grow up to be a good, prosperous, effective person. Well, hell came. I faced real demonic energy, but I survived and now I am much tougher for it. I am damaged. So is my significant other (SO). But, I am a walking, talking, guitar and piano playing, electrical engineering, software writing, technical teaching miracle. I am not perfect, but I keep pushing. I keep learning. The cost to each of us, mentally, of me leaving is higher than the cost to us of me staying. Sometimes, there are no good options, so I must take the best route for me, for my growth, and for the benefit of those around me. My SO has grown immensely in the many years I've known her and so have I. The world is not perfect, and neither are the people living in it. I'm not giving advise, I'm just sharing what I've done and how it is turning out.
@@billr8276 well, good luck with that. It's kinda like saying "after finding out I have a tape worm I've decided to educate myself on the values of having parasites, and I believe this will make me stronger." Enjoy.
I hurt really bad under my rib cage so i went to the ER. The doctor said to me " if you want drugs just say so!" He treated me like crap the whole time i was there with his nasty comments and accusations. Over 7 hrs later the pain eased a bit. He came back and said " look at you, when you came in you were all whiney and now you are just fine. Furthermore, iooked at your kidney scan and it was just fine as i expected" then threw his head back and walked off. He tried to get me to sign out AMA!! Which told me he realized something wasnt right, i refused. Before daylight my phone rang. It was the radiologist telling me i had a big tumor on my kidney that needed biopsied right away. It turned out i had kidney cancer. I wish i would have done more about his rudeness ( to say rhe least) i understand after many years of working there , the jerk was fired finally!! Talk about narcissism smh!!
I once was having surgery and before I was even given the sedative one young nurse made some rude and inappropriate remarks to another young nurse out loud to the general operating room. As she was smiling at the lack of response from the others. I called her over to me. She came over looking pissed. I asked her name and position and then told her to take her bulling and rude ass out of the operating room. I didn’t want anyone with her attitude anywhere near me during surgery. She looked around with a shocked face and no one came to her rescue. The atmosphere changed after she left and I felt much relieved. I had a great team working together on me. I self-advocate. When I don’t like something I will discuss it to resolve the issue. In this case the problem was clear and I stood up for my team. Attitudes Matter.
For an anesthesiologist; you sure know a lot about psychology. Rather impressive. I've rarely seen an anesthesiologist that incorporates so much mental health training into his work. Good job on you.
I have not met him, but I agree about his knowledge on psychology. On the other hand, in his 'about channel' he runs a ketamine pain clinic and ketamine is also used in some people trying to cope w depression - so I would think, great they he has learned/on top of psychology topics that patients may be affected by and how it may affect their surgery. Blessings, love and prayers for all, from Israel 🇮🇱.
@@denisedevoto5703there have been a number of mental health professionals who are actually fooled by a narcissist. A narcissist can be very skilled at operating under the guise of an empath - they actually learn how to come across as a kind and caring person. Unless you’re working with someone who has an excellent understanding of how narcissists work, you’ll have difficulty getting anywhere. How do you find one? I don’t have a clue. There are some on TH-cam that might be helpful. There are some excellent books written on the subject. There seems to be a tendency for people to label others as being a narcissist because it’s become such a big topic everywhere. You can find narcissists in all walks of life. They crave attention and praise.
Once upon a time, my ex-husband broke his ankle and had to have it set and cast by an orthopedic surgeon. Being the malignant narcissist he is, he removed his own cast at home a full 3 weeks prior to his follow up appointment where the doctor was to remove it. I went with him to that appointment and was secretly delighted when the good doctor not only chewed my ex out but clearly told him he refused to be responsible for his medical care and fired him as a patient right on the spot. It was typical of the ex to think he was not only above and better than everyone else; he thought he knew more than the good doc. Oh and yes, he wore a Rolex.
The last three years also exposed the haughty, pig headed narcissism of most physicians and the mindset of the entirety of the medical industry. Great video!
I wonder what percent of the population has NPD… 8? 10? Maybe they’re important to have in our society? (Some protect us, right? The bigger picture having them is our country is safer/they’re in the military/fight wars for us to have our freedom) Unfortunately, we are surrounded by ‘em, & when in contact w/ one of them, drained bc they’re not like us regarding regulating their emotions. (They’re predictably unpredictable 🎢 😂) Navy Seals first responders ER docs blah blah Professors Preachers Politicians Good grief They’re everywhere 🤨 Let’s avoid them ❤
I have had to change doctors numerous times, as they didn’t understand Ehlers Danlos syndrome. And not interested in learning about it. In Alberta there is a huge shortage of medical staff, so many of us can’t even find a doctor anymore. My ex is a narc, and recently recognized my mom’s covert narcissism. I hope to remain single for the rest of my life. Peace of mind is first priority got my mental health.
I'm so sorry you had that experience, but I greatly admire your vulnerability in sharing that. I hope you learned something new and feel empowered to advocate for your health 🙏
I empathise completely & will remain single for the rest of my life, too. Marfan's syndrome is like a cousin of Ehlers Danlos, similar zebra which receives little interest. Mental health is also my priority. May the force be with you.....
I'm very likely a fellow Zebra, everything in me has prolapsed, some decades ago, other things more recent. Been researching for years, my now retired dermatologist said he highly suspected a collagen-vascular connective-tissue disease. I now cannot find a doctor who understands, even the Rheumatologists I've been to, since I now am 68 and stiff from 30 yrs of Rheumatoid Arthritis too.
Yes! After my Uncle died, I realized that my Aunt was looking around for someone to replace him as the enemy, and hold in the greatest contempt. It didn't take too long for me to understand that she'd settled her eyes on me. Yikes! I ran like the wind in the opposite direction.
I dated a narcissist once. You've just described how he interacts with others. Best way to deal with it is to let them brag and talk sh*t. They're like self entitled children, so just play along and they'll leave you alone. Challenge them in the smallest way and you become public enemy #1
the problem is that anything is perceived as challenge to the fragile ego :(, how you respond, how you not respond, how was your face, or tone of voice. The best way to deal with narcissist is to not deal with them at all...grey rock for the win.
@@martinhommel3420challenge a narcissist, and you won’t have to get away. They’ll ghost you! All you have to do is not get pulled in again by another one. They seek out certain people. Often times, they are people who believe they can fix people who have been terribly hurt by others.
It was my personal experience to encounter that nearly all of them consulted were actually doing more harm than good and proved to not care, be lacking in empathy and absolutely clueless regarding narcissism or dismissive and abuse by proxy narcissistic anti-social predators themselves.
Wow.. thank you for that! No one ever says how hateful, nasty, and exasperating some sick person can be! It's not the illness that's so burdensome and overwhelming, it's their maddening personality.
So glad I found your channel, Doctor. Your video is very illustrative of the complexity of the human mind, and how medical professionals and caregivers need to have an understanding of what makes others tick in addition to the physical state of their health. That on the surface, nasty or inflator of importance person, has a lot of complex issues swirling within themselves that has nothing to do with the person in charge of their care. Looking forward to learning from you. Thanks!
@@MedicalSecrets As a now retired teache, I know rhat you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. That is why I heap praise, in writing, on doctors, nurses, RPNs, cleaners.... in the hospital when it is deserved. And it almost always is. I do have one specialist who has the personality of a slug, but he's good at his job and readily arranges apps with other specialists as required. So I'm grateful to/for him. And doing surgery requires courage and self-confidence, even if this slips over into arrogance now and then.
I'm a semi-retired RN and I just stumbled across your channel; it's superb! I've spent many hours in the OR, and I'm sure most people have so little understanding of your work's importance to them. I had a major surgery 2 years ago and it was a very positive experience due to the excellent care given before, during, and after my anesthesia. My advice to patients; work WITH your anesthesia team for a good outcome. Thank you for all you do!!!
@@suemilkbone4868many, many years ago anesthesiologists would call the night before surgery. There really was no discussion. I could tell they were exhausted and didn’t want to call. When I hear this doctor talk about emails he’s receiving from his patients, I’m amazed by the amount of access patients have to talk or email with him. My experience is the same as yours. They pop in right before you’re being wheeled away. In the overall, I find anesthesiologists to have better people skills. I chalk that up to them knowing they’ll be putting you out very quickly, and they’ll never have to talk to the patient again. They aren’t the ones who have to deliver very bad news to you or your family. It’s important to remember that there are covert narcissists. They have learned to mimic the behavior of empaths and other kind people. The amount of paperwork and ever changing regulations placed on all doctors in this day and time, causes many of them to retire early and seek other positions in the medical field where they don’t have to deal with people and paperwork. A very talented surgeon told me that if he was ever to leave his profession that he loves, it would be because of the paperwork getting in the way of his ability to talk to his patients! I couldn’t start talking until he had finished the damn paperwork on the damn computer. I just laughed quietly, and said I totally understand. One of the nurses told me he demanded his notes be printed out, so he didn’t have to mess with the computer! About a year later, he ended his profession as a surgeon. A great loss of a tremendous talent when he left.
I was probably saved by my anesthesiologist, who stopped an ulcer surgery in midstream because I was vomiting blood. He came and talked to me afterwards. He told me that the surgeon had little experience, and that he was getting an older surgeon to do the surgery the next day. I knew that he "shouldn't" have told me that, but thanked him sincerely for leveling with me, since it made me feel safer to know what was actually going on.
My mom is narcissistic and when she was coming off anesthesia.. she was absolutely vicious. She also had major issues getting proper care cuz of how she treated ppl who cared for her. But to complicate matters she does have a layering of genetic disorders that are complex and a lot of times, she would get written off as crazy. Luckily she on a lot of meds and they help control a lot of the mood issues and delusions and she finally is getting care after a mental health invention and some advocacy by family. She is loved despite it all.
Hopefully she never has a head blow. Mine was in a neck brace that I was ordered--every minute or so--to take off OR ELSE. She'd then forget she did it and do it again. As if I could or would. Even the nurse had just about had it with her.
I can see the caregivers not wanting to be around narcissistic people because no one wants to be brought down and feel bad from another’s self centered behavior. It’s a unfortunate situation for the doctors, nurses, and the patient.
Well there both good caregivers and bad caregivers I encountered a bad caregiver because she is a narcissist always exactly as you said be careful who you trust especially narcissists of all types even in the medical field there the worst to you think you getting the best care when in fact your not !
So much wisdom in this video. Here in Belgium there is still a hierarchy of doctors. And still a percentage believe they are God and treat their patients in a rational, non empathic way. You really stand out with your empathy and at the same time healthy boundaries which is an example for every human being whether they are patients or doctors. I always feel so grateful when medical staff have that 'heart'. It speads up the healing exponentionally for both sides. Thank you for all your work!
I had surgery at Erasme Hospital, and the surgeons were the most anempathic people I have seen in my life, except the anesthesiologist, who was always running after the young and pretty impressed nurses. I am sure anesthesiologists sniff their stuff sometimes...😂
This is my mom, she is 90, when she was admitted to the hospital for pneumonia, after she was transferred to a step down unit, they put her on Xanax to stop her complaining, I stayed with her and fed her, all day everyday sat with her to make sure she drank water, by the time she was better and sent to a nursing home for rehab and finally came home, I was exhausted, never thanked, the complaining never ends, she is never happy or appreciative of anything, it is expected.
Let's set up your mother with my mother, except mine refuses the Xanax because she says her doctor told her it would make her paranoid. Which would be miles better than the screaming narcissistic demanding...I don't use that word. Maybe the two will kill each other. I actually walked out on her on Sunday, I just couldn't take being screamed at any longer.
@@BronzeDragon133 My mom refused it too, she was talking crazy out of her head, so they had to take her off and she was mad at them for putting her on it, who ever coined the phrase "Only the good die young." was spot on, I think she will live to be 100 or close to it, not that I want her to pass, that is not who I am but she is just that mean.
@@Rdkhk335 I also find if you sling it back at them, they start to act like it's actual abuse, then point out they're pulling the same crap. "YOU NEED TO STOP!" Right after you do. Bye.
Yes doc more info would be great. Love your utubes.I learn alot. I hope I am not a narcissist person. I have always been a care taker, think enabler of my kids recently learned. I am learning to tame care of me but don't want to be a narcissist. Wonder if there is a personality test to find out my type?
Dr., your channel attracts people who’ve had sub-par medical care or seemingly insensitive medical professionals based on your video titles and your approach. I acknowledge and sympathize those peoples’ comments about poor experiences. I have gone into surgeries reading all of the prep information and following all of the pre and post-op instructions. Maybe I did my research or just got “lucky” to have decades worth of great doctors. I won’t list a litany of my medical surgeries but I have NEVER encountered an insensitive, arrogant-presenting physician , surgeon or PA. They’ve all been communicative, respectful with great diagnostician skills combined with good “bed side manners” AND collaborative.
You just told me what my psychiatrist has been wanting to tell me for years, but didn't because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. I needed to hear this. Thanks for being professional and kind when saying this.
Hi 👋 Doc, Sorry to hear you’re experiences with narcissists. This exact thing can be also, reversed. In other words, we can encounter very arrogant and narcissists doctors who judges using their own biases and dismiss our concerns. I only have learned to advocate for myself at my young age (early forties), before I would go with whatever the doc says, or just don’t return for years for fear of their treatment and mistrust as a person of color. On the other hand, I LOVE anesthesia 😅 I will be under anesthesia again to remove my uterine polyps soon. Can’t wait for it. As soon as I get to lay down I want the drug to rest. It’s the only drug I use by the way lol.
I'm wishing you the best for your upcoming surgery! It sounds like I need a video for the reverse topic, of how narcissistic doctors fail the medical system
@@MedicalSecrets I just had a very bad experience with a doctor who I think is a narcissistic. Her behavior caught me so off-guard, I didn't know how to respond. And I am sorry that so many dedicated medical professionals are treated poorly by patients.
A very important video Doc. Thankyou so much for the work you’re doing and I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I myself have seen how a narcissist have treated medical staff with humiliation, yelling and extreme entitlement. It was horrible to watch. These people are sick, please don’t let them get to you. I’m sure most people are very appreciative for your work. Keep up the good work😊
One of the best videos I listened to on narcissism especially because of your real patient examples. I have found when working with addicts/alcoholics the 'smarter they are' the more difficult to work with because they dance around the obvious... bottoms are a longer way down from their pushed up egos (by themselves and others).
There are a lot of lonely people who are victims of narcissists. They have been the victims of major smear campaigns so they limit how many people they let in their world they can trust. My elderly father is a huge narcissist. He even went as far as going to my medical caregivers in their offices and trashing me and my late Mom. Hoping that I would lose my doctors. It's a good thing my doctor told me about it. He said stay away from him he's a very sick man.
Wowed and amazed to actually see a medical professional with an open heart and not negative thought driven attitude of I’m better than you attitude. I love the love you are mr. Your good people. I appreciate people like you who actually live from the heart and not the head. Keep up and talking truthfully as you do (from your heart). Your amazing dear brother. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🥰😊🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I loved this video and thought it was excellent you brought this to light. I think this is downplayed in a healthcare setting but can become quite toxic no matter what level of interaction you have. Thank you so much for sharing. I think this gives a lot of people insight and understanding.
Just like women don’t like to be objectified, I’m sure men would prefer we see them for all of who they are. This Dr. Is an awesome person, a man of integrity, taking the time to teach us all about the insider information of really important things that happen in the ER. The anesthesiologist is truly the brains behind the operation, no pun intended. He is keeping the patient alive. This amazing Dr. With a huge heart and beautiful soul is married. So as long as the line may be to capture his heart, it has been taken. He is a family man , I know from watching his videos. He has helped me understand so much about what happens in the ER, during surgery, and has helped me advocate better for myself. I’ve had many surgeries over the past 3 years, I’ve never seen 1 anesthesiologist post surgery. I never knew I was supposed to! I had one horrible experience, that left me really shaken, I mentioned it to my surgeon, and was completely blown off.. I assumed it wasn’t a big deal, even though it was to me! Thanks to this kind hearted soul, a Dr. who left his ego out of the mix, has taught me what should be happening and not happening, and Doc., I’m forever grateful to have found you. I feel much less stressed out about having to have another surgery. That means so much.. take it easy ladies, we don’t want this Dr’s wife getting upset, we need him here on you tube!! Thanks so much for the opportunity to learn from you! 🙏 Love your pets.. I see them and always smile. I’m a dog rescue so they have an infinite place in my heart! 💗
It affects care the other way too. As someone with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome who reacts differently to anaesthesia, including locals that don't work (my mother is the same), you can imagine how many times we've been gaslit by doctors and nurses. It has impacted on how we don't seek intervention when we need it. I'm not saying they're all psychopathic narcissists, just uneducated.
EDS is a unique animal. I have a couple friends with it and I feel for those who struggle with it. I don't have EDS, but my experience as a chronic pain patient who is accustomed to pain and providers who don't understand how chronic pain affects the perception of acute pain often means substandard care. Listening to one such provider almost killed me.
Hello! This. I truly hope he isn't diagnosing people based upon one incident. That's scary as hell. How do you say you are a gaslighter without saying you are a gaslighter? This has so many red flags, my stomach turned.
Very informative. It must be difficult on all. From prenatal care to funeral home, everyone in-between will have to encounter this. It's so much better to be informed about the psychology of why than to blame the patient entirely. Lots of factors contributing. Understanding is key.
Thank you for sharing this with us. It is very important to understand the energy you need to heal. I have been blessed with physicians and health care staff that have literally saved me from dying in the past.
I found your video very informative but it was so much to digest that I will be watching it again. I am married to one but have moved to my own place. Interested in anything pertaining to narcissists. Thank you
I am so sorry you have to put up with narcissists in the operating room. My brother is a grandiose narcissist and he is unbearable. I can’t imagine having to deal with him as a Patient.
@susano7587 - I had two friends who are extremely narcissistic and it got to where I couldn’t stand to be around them. One was constantly begging me for my muscle relaxers and pain medicine. This same person had carpal tunnel surgery done by an orthopedic surgeon friend of mine and he thought he was entitled to the doctor’s personal cellphone number. When I read what you said about your brother I thought about two friends I used to have. 😊
@@psychedelicpython I am so sorry for you! TWO of them! I had to cut my brother out of my life. He stays up all night drinking, then he calls me in the middle of the night to yell at me for something I didn’t do. Sad but true.
Makes sense to me why someone acting like a complete d*ck by eating , smoking or doing drugs before surgery would make any doctor angry. What I don't appreciate is when as a patient with chronic illnesses that has been violated by the health system so many times gets blamed for being a narcissist when in reality they are defensive and highly suspicious before going under the knife, and for good reason. It has to go both ways here. First respect and trust of the health care system has to be earned. Then we can work on keeping a patient calm and respectful before surgery.
Your understanding of nuanced interactions with narcissists is great! Thank you for your very helpful videos filled with empathy and solid advice so we can navigate the medical field at a crossroads better.
Thank you Doctor, this video helped me understand my mother and older brother’s lifelong complaints about medical care. My mom suffered from Epilepsy and spoiledness. When nurses found out she was in ER, they left her sitting a long time (I know, bcuz as a child I had to go with her) or when hospitalized they took off work. Only new nurses who didn’t know better would care for her. For 50 years, my older brother lived a life of drug/alcohol abuse, running away, & homelessness. He went to ER if he had an accident or felt like he was dying. Most of the time they ended up calling the police as a result of his verbal abusive behavior. When admitted, he left as soon as he could walk out, yes…without Dr. approval. His reason: He couldn’t smoke in the hospital. Good news: He is 65 now, clean, sober and has lived with me for the past three years. He follows my house rules and doesn’t give me any of that non sense. I thank the Lord he’s mellowed with age. I barely listen to his “experience stories” and always thought his bad behavior played a role in not getting the best care. I am thankful for the excellent care I’ve received with all doctors, dentists, ER visits, & hospital stays. Sometimes, I send the, thank you notes. God Bless you 🙏🙏🙏😊😊😊
Thank you for these videos. You have helped reassure me that there are men out there who do care and that are trustworthy and that there are medical staff that care as well. Thanks for being you i appreciate you
anthony, i think you not only are a skilled doctor but also have a talent for psychology. i think many doctors will not realise the underlying thought patterns behind many of their patients and why they act a certain way. if every doctor was like you, we would have a better medical system - not a perfect one, but a better one
This is very cutting to ones self importance and invaluable analysis, thanks so much. There is a lot I can't hear so I have been re watching. I also notice a lot of comments including myself wanting to point the finger. It is a lot of I am this way because they were that way. I deal with dads apparent, and moms apparent, him being more of the aggressive and her being the passive. All it takes is someone striking out to revert personal growth. We mustn't lose our awareness.
The one thing I disagree with, is that it's a narcissist trait to wish someone could feel one's pain. It can be as simple as wishing to convey the pain one feels, in order to be understood. A person in pain can panic from not being taken seriously.
Yep, that was a desperate cry for empathy from this TH-cam dr, who clearly seethed with rage inside, a narcissistic rage, at the demand. He made a lot of other mistakes too
Best advice I've ever received was from a fellow recovering Addict/Alcoholic, he made the statement to me that; we should all seek to walk among our fellow men/women, un-noticed. Though quite imperfect, I try to do just that. I've done and accomplished much in life, but the most important thing has been, connecting to others, especially in their sufferings. An old friend (since childhood) and in recovery gave up his fight and took the final action to leave this existence a week ago and how desperately I wish we could have done something for him, possibly helping him find a way to stay. The recovery community is so full of bent, broken and sorely damaged souls and this subject (narcissism) is front and center always. I sincerely appreciate your compassion and apparent love of humanity. Please keep the education coming.
Like, Wow--this vid is a show stopper. Fascinating---giving me a pinball ricochet bells ringing cacophony. The topic/material itself; things I recognize that explain a tsunami of experiences w doctors, med staff, patients..., AND My Very Own less-than-'perfect' self evaluation---how I've responded +/or reacted (or N-O-T) in trying moments, with DNA & 'chosen' family. We are so vulnerable to so many things at once with each other--I'll be gnawing on this raw hide chew for days & daze. My brain is imploding--in a 'good' way.
Saw this title and clicked on fast. Coming from a family of narcissist. Never thought about medical professionals having to deal 🤔 with these monsters. Thank you for this. You are awesome
Thank you for this. I’ve been struggling with the narcissist with a superiority complex and with time I became one with the sob story. Makes a lot of things make sense, I always knew I had a woe is me attitude that up I buried with etiquette(as best as I could, in a sense i feel better looking back at all the times I failed) and then I felt like I was at war and never came back.
Unfortunately inducing shame and doubt in others seems to be pretty standard in personal interactions these days. I agree that street narcotics are used to mitigate loneliness. Yes I would like to see a video on responses. Thank you!
Excellent analysis … Thank you. I think victims of narcissists can suffer with some of the same dysfunctions- void of grandiose thinking and bullying etc. , type behaviors - but anxiety , isolation, loss of sense of self, addiction, etc. Seriously, I’ve either responded with , confronting them with the truth and laughing about it, like, talking to them like they are children and I’ve got their number, in a playful way, or treating them like babies, they love it. Referring to them as sweetheart , baby, etc., makes them feel special and they love having someone with that attitude attending to them. This isn’t to say they can’t lash out at that type of person if they don’t get their way, but it’s less often , and they don’t want to lose that special attention so they try to be more pleasant but also think they can manipulate a bit more . As long as you look at it as a game you have to play rather than taking it personally , because narcissists are not discriminatory , they simple look at people as useful idiots, until they aren’t. Sometimes they will graduate a person to the higher ranks of their appraisal - only because they are more useful to their ego or getting their “needs” met, as unrealistic as those might be. But when they begin to devalue you, they are ruthless and you have to develop a hard shell and play that game of treating them like an ill natured child you must contend with. There are the more sophisticated narcissists who will only respond to you affirming their greatness , entitlement, intellect , and or beauty , and only that will suffice. Other than that - rough them up a little bit and let them know who’s really in charge …😂😂😂
It’s so comforting when a Dr. talks with his hands and seems to be fascinated by his UNIQUE approach to revealing medical “secrets” - almost like that guy at a bar who is smart AND charming. Guy Smiley is always big eyed, grandiose and inviting isn’t he? Nothing new under the sun.
Hi Dr. Greetings from New Zealand. I find your videos to be extremely informative. You seem a very multi faceted person in your teachings and you have a gift for it. In addition to being a grounded and skill full speaker. Thoroughly enjoying my meandering search through your contents. Take care. 😊
Yes, please make a video about how medical professionals should respond to patients high on the narcissism scale. I know now that I’ve had a multitude of them and I didn’t realize this. I’m an RN.
I’m compassionate with all of my patients. Looking back throughout my career, not realizing it at the time, those patients who gave me the most trouble and were the most noncompliant were likely highly narcissistic. Unfortunately , those are the patients that I remember the most.
20 years married to a vulnerable hypersensitive narcissist. If you're only going to have limited time ,then send them on their way, Id go with validation. Yes, I found out what VN is and got away and am breathing free now.
@@NunYa-db7jy The Covert Narcissist and also was once married to one of them too. To date and even after thirteen years of being free of him, I just recently found out the miserable pathological liar with the maturity level of a toddler (along with it's family) still has my name on his mouth and continues twisting the facts in order to play the hero and impress others.
To dealing with narcc people/patients it is the easiest to *take the blame*. Example with eating before the operation "Oh no, I am so sorry. I guess I did not properly explain how important it is not to eat before an operation. I am so sorry that I can not operate on you, because then your stomach would release the food and it would run into your lungs and kill you. I wish I had known I needed to explain it better, I can not risk it having you die on my operation table" And because patients have to sign a waver about all the stuff they can not do/should do before surgery and the thing about food, both doc and narcc know whose fault it is, but because you took the blame, the narcc will be most likely much better at following important stuff from now. Especially when you follow up with reminding them of important stuff "Oh I am so sorry if I am bothering but, I am only worried I didn't explain it well enough like it happened last time and I really want to make sure you are healing up properly and have all the information you need." Always put it in an I way, never imply that they misunderstood something or whatever, makes them defensive. You will always be at fault to them, so take the blame from the beginning, take as much fire from them as you can and mellow them and go forward. Not a doc, was caretaker in nursing homes and you gotta deal with similiar things there.
Thank you and I appreciate you taking the time to explain and answer questions. I have been put under for several L hip surgeries. I believe they used a spinal block with sedation that did not include gas when I became an adult. I woke up feeling great, both mentally and physically. I couldn't believe it was over, how quick it went and because of the block I had no pain to start with. Waking up felling good without nausea was a new experience over surgery that took away all anxiety and fear for me. When I was a 15 I fractured my L Femur & I have horrible memories of going under gas anesthesia. The fear and try to stop it was alarming. But my two hip surgeries as an adult went as well as I could have ever imagined due to the Anesthesia and the Anesthesiologist. But two years ago I had a rotator cuff repair as well as reattachment of my bicep with my shoulder and when I woke up and 3-4 days later I was throwing up and nauseous? I attribute that to the gas? Is it more likely to be nauseous after gas as opposed to anesthesia delivered via IV?
This explains why my ex was extra narky when he had his teeth pulled. Boy was I glad when that hangover wore off! 😮💨 Even more when i finally escaped! 🥳 It would be difficult to remain ethical as a dr treating a narcissist, especially if you had been subjected to narc abuse before.
I could see the stress melt off the anesthesiologist face when I told him in the prep room before my hysterectomy that I knew he would do his best, but that I had no expectation of being pain-free after the surgery. I have great compassion for anybody who is willing to work in medicine.
My parents are both narcissists and unfortunately because of severe anxiety, depression, and being on the autism spectrum I have to live with them! All of these things you describe are them however sometimes people on the autism spectrum also have trouble connecting with people but we have empathy even though sometimes we don't understand if we say something and why it wrong. Also sometimes other people especially on the spectrum can be lonely too. Never understand why people think someone on the spectrum like me is a narcissist when we have the ability to love and care about others. Can you do a video about people on the spectrum like me with the surgery? I had knee surgery in 2014 but don't remember much. All I did remember though is how the nurses said that I was loving the attention. My mother said, "very preceptive." Not surprising since as narcissists my parents think everyone is like them. In reality the real reason I liked how the nurses were worrying over me is because it was nice to have some people that care about me where as my parents don't because narcissists can't love.
Love the information you share. I've always been curious how I am in recovery after surgery. I know we can say some pretty wacky stuff. Thanks for sharing your that's knowledge on so many subjects.
Six months ago I came to the realization and understanding that my mother is a narcissist. A vulnerable one. It actually came to a head as a result of two joint replacement surgery she had within five months of each other and the resulting abuse I suffered as a result of being her caretaker during that time. It revealed a lifetime of abuse and other actions that helped me understand my relationship with her. This video actually clarified all of that abuse during the caretaking. Thank you for this fantastic video.
You seem like a kind man. Glad to have someone like you serving others! I do want to add tho - one does not have to have narcissist traits to "dr shop" . Many of those who want answers are caretakers of others and need to be around for thier sakes. They worry. Overthink siutations because they may have eldely parenta or chimdren they know depend on them. I know many who have been misdiagnosed or mistreated by medical professionals they reliaze the only real advocate for thier health is themselves.😅
Maybe this is why my diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder with antisocial personality disorder traits ex husband refuses to speak about his time in surgery to have his shattered wrist pinned. He was the type of person to always have a story (often a lie) to tell about every situation he was in unless it was one where he felt shame. The surgery experience seemed to change him for a while and made him more passive. This is something when he was always a cowardly but aggressive, violent, manipulative, sadistic, attempted murderer. It is incredibly difficult to affect a narcissists view of themselves which they assume is everyone's view of them. Reputation is internal for them and other peoples view of them has no effect on them. The way to get at their internal reputation is shame. It only lasts until they find the right reason to dismiss it and resume their standard ways. The person trying to one up you on your watch can be soothed by telling them they have a great taste in watches and allowing them to talk about it. Don't put yourself down at all. Let them decided where you sit in relation to them. Lowering yourself will only make them sense you are weak and want to abuse you. If you want to become their "friend" talk about their taste in watches to others in-front of them. "This is Bill, he has a great taste in watches". The people who did things they weren't supposed to do before surgery were showing antisocial traits. They are purposely going against your rules in small ways to test your response. If they can get you to act negatively against them then they can declare you the enemy and will move to tear you down. If you barely respond or not at all then they can relax a little knowing they flaunted your rules and got away with it. They will keep doing these little pushes on your authority for the entire of their stay. Let them think they have a little power but don't give them more (they will get abusive) and they will be much more agreeable. " I can get my doc to do anything for me".
Yes! My Dad does this! There's always a story, it's highly embellished, and always makes him look good.If he relates something funny you told him to another, he embellishes that too. He sets the tone,and keeps himself from being the butt. I get it now.
Interesting that patients tell their doctor to go through what they're going through. How shocking! Doctors usually automatically can feel their patients, even if their patients don't say anything. Anyway, interesting observation. Thanks for sharing! 👏🥰
I don't know what type of anesthesia a doctor gives during a colonoscopy. I do know that I didn't remember anything but my wife at the time ( a twenty year veteran RN), said the doctor and nurses came out cracking up laughing. Thank you Doctor for your enlightening videos.
Hey Doc. Our doctors over here in Australia should see your videos. I’ve learnt a lot through them. I recently had a Right Hemicholectomy. Pretty sure they knocked me out by injecting the stuff in the cannula in my arm, I was preparing myself for the sharp pain of a needle in my spine, as I was to get an epidural, which I never felt. I’m a rare person who considers an op an adventurer into places I can’t go, and always happy to go under. I have met the occasional, not patient happy Anaesthetist who haven’t made me feel happy to go under, I hope if I saw him again after the procedure I told him off. I think I know why my healing rate is good after the op. Happy going under better recovery rate after the op right. Keep up the great work Doc. Very informative.
How do you tell the difference between a person with narcissistic tendencies and someone on the autistic spectrum? Or doesn't that matter in terms of your response to the interaction? Some patients I've delt with seemed to be working really hard to show gratitude but once the drugs kicked in they seemed completely lost on what to say or how to say it. So they ended up saying nothing even when they should have let someone know they needed help. Other staff took this as being cold and ungrateful.
Dr ramani, an expert, has a video specifically on that. This guy isn’t an expert at all and it’s wrong of him to pretend he is. He’s really bad at it. He also doesn’t understand the story of Narcissus. But to summarize, the autistic person, once informed that they have hurt someone else, will feel badly about that. They may not be able to recognize when it happens but if it does they didn’t do it on purpose. Narcs hurt you on purpose. They are in contrast supremely aware of other people’s feelings and recognizing discomfort, they just don’t care. They only cate about their own feelings.
@@M_SC I think he does understand and knows enough even if not as much as an expert as Dr. Ramani on the subject. I'm actually on the spectrum and I do feel bad if I hurt someone's feelings but at times even when they explain things to me I still have Trouble sometimes understanding why they hurt about what I said or did and why it's wrong.
@@dineyashworth8578 Thank you for sharing your valuable perspective and experience. Does the trouble you sometimes experience understanding the reason for the hurt or why it's wrong cause you any distress? I ask that question to gauge your interest in my making a comment about your statement.
People on the autistic spectrum are often misdiagnosed as having NPD or antisocial personality disorder. I would be surprised if Sam Vaknin had not addressed your question somewhere on his channel.
My ex was diagnosed by a psychiatrist as a NP. I know how he treats me but holy sh*t you’ve made me realize the way he has treated at least 3 doctors I can remember. One is recently this past month. He didn’t like the psychologist our teen son was seeing and fired her while my son is in crisis.
A friend of mind, a nurses tutor, after years of being in the medical world had to undergo a gallbladder operation. It was her first time actually being a patient having brought her pupils around wards for years. She researched the best surgeon for this surgery, went to the best hospital for the op. Yet afterwards said that that was the first time she realised how helpless you are as a patient and that, although her treatment was good, there were things she would change. It's not until you are in that patients position do you realise how scary and vulnerable it can be.
Oh ya !!!!
I was raised by a covert narcissist, then married an overt narcissist. I've been free from both for almost a year now. They're absolutely sadistic monsters. If you realize you're with one - don't walk, RUN!
I divorced my vulnerable narcissist wife around the same time!👏
As for me, since I've been married for 20+ years to a gal who has some of these tendencies, I've decided not to run, but to learn instead. It has helped me get a grip back on my sanity and build strengths that I never had before. I generally don't like to run from a challenge. So, remember, running is not the only option.
@@billr8276 Nooo, friend, that is horrible, dangerous advice! Just because you understand their behavior doesn't make them any less toxic or damaging. If she is an actual narcissist (NPD) I'd recommend you leave asap, why waste valuable time with someone who doesn't/can't love you... they don't even exist, they have no "self". I studied psychology before marriage to my vulnerable narcissist wife, I understood it all, I'm head strong, and I still suffered mentally/physically by staying, it's no way to live. I prefer my challenges to yield a reward in the end.
Great thoughtful response. A little more about me: I was raised in a household with two alcoholic parents. My older brother ran away from home. I decided to stay at home and decided, come hell or high water, I was going to grow up to be a good, prosperous, effective person. Well, hell came. I faced real demonic energy, but I survived and now I am much tougher for it. I am damaged. So is my significant other (SO). But, I am a walking, talking, guitar and piano playing, electrical engineering, software writing, technical teaching miracle. I am not perfect, but I keep pushing. I keep learning. The cost to each of us, mentally, of me leaving is higher than the cost to us of me staying. Sometimes, there are no good options, so I must take the best route for me, for my growth, and for the benefit of those around me. My SO has grown immensely in the many years I've known her and so have I. The world is not perfect, and neither are the people living in it. I'm not giving advise, I'm just sharing what I've done and how it is turning out.
@@billr8276 well, good luck with that. It's kinda like saying "after finding out I have a tape worm I've decided to educate myself on the values of having parasites, and I believe this will make me stronger." Enjoy.
I hurt really bad under my rib cage so i went to the ER. The doctor said to me " if you want drugs just say so!" He treated me like crap the whole time i was there with his nasty comments and accusations. Over 7 hrs later the pain eased a bit. He came back and said " look at you, when you came in you were all whiney and now you are just fine. Furthermore, iooked at your kidney scan and it was just fine as i expected" then threw his head back and walked off. He tried to get me to sign out AMA!! Which told me he realized something wasnt right, i refused. Before daylight my phone rang. It was the radiologist telling me i had a big tumor on my kidney that needed biopsied right away. It turned out i had kidney cancer. I wish i would have done more about his rudeness ( to say rhe least) i understand after many years of working there , the jerk was fired finally!! Talk about narcissism smh!!
What a horrible experience for you.
I once was having surgery and before I was even given the sedative one young nurse made some rude and inappropriate remarks to another young nurse out loud to the general operating room. As she was smiling at the lack of response from the others. I called her over to me. She came over looking pissed. I asked her name and position and then told her to take her bulling and rude ass out of the operating room. I didn’t want anyone with her attitude anywhere near me during surgery. She looked around with a shocked face and no one came to her rescue. The atmosphere changed after she left and I felt much relieved. I had a great team working together on me. I self-advocate. When I don’t like something I will discuss it to resolve the issue. In this case the problem was clear and I stood up for my team.
Attitudes Matter.
Wowwwww
Omg! He did major gaslighting to you. Needs medical license revoked!
@@CrankyAuntyLinda I haven't had to do that, but I have stopped going places where the boss didn't treat his staff well.
For an anesthesiologist; you sure know a lot about psychology. Rather impressive.
I've rarely seen an anesthesiologist that incorporates so much mental health training into his work. Good job on you.
I have not met him, but I agree about his knowledge on psychology.
On the other hand, in his 'about channel' he runs a ketamine pain clinic and ketamine is also used in some people trying to cope w depression - so I would think, great they he has learned/on top of psychology topics that patients may be affected by and how it may affect their surgery.
Blessings, love and prayers for all, from Israel 🇮🇱.
He knows more about narcissism than any counselor I have seen. Wish I had someone like him as a counselor, it might have saved me years of suffering.
@@denisedevoto5703there have been a number of mental health professionals who are actually fooled by a narcissist. A narcissist can be very skilled at operating under the guise of an empath - they actually learn how to come across as a kind and caring person. Unless you’re working with someone who has an excellent understanding of how narcissists work, you’ll have difficulty getting anywhere. How do you find one? I don’t have a clue. There are some on TH-cam that might be helpful. There are some excellent books written on the subject. There seems to be a tendency for people to label others as being a narcissist because it’s become such a big topic everywhere. You can find narcissists in all walks of life. They crave attention and praise.
@@mikimisteinberg4016so he has multiple channels on TH-cam? Interesting. Blessings to you as well.
True, though these days it's probably becoming a 'pre-requisite' for anybody dealing with the public and engaged in any kinda 'service' profession.
Once upon a time, my ex-husband broke his ankle and had to have it set and cast by an orthopedic surgeon. Being the malignant narcissist he is, he removed his own cast at home a full 3 weeks prior to his follow up appointment where the doctor was to remove it. I went with him to that appointment and was secretly delighted when the good doctor not only chewed my ex out but clearly told him he refused to be responsible for his medical care and fired him as a patient right on the spot. It was typical of the ex to think he was not only above and better than everyone else; he thought he knew more than the good doc. Oh and yes, he wore a Rolex.
Oh that's hilarious, thanks for commenting and i got a good laugh out of it too😂
I would've been screaming in my head of laughter!!!! THAT is what karma looks like!! 🤣🤣🤣
@@heatherjohnson7260 Actually, I was. Lol! It's funny to this day.
The last three years also exposed the haughty, pig headed narcissism of most physicians and the mindset of the entirety of the medical industry. Great video!
Boom 💥 nailed it
This video has made me realize that I live in a world surrounded by self-entitled narcissists.
I realized that recently, too... 😔
Me too 😢
Amen 🙏 to that!!!!
Same. I'm almost afraid to go under anesthesia because of abuse I've been through at the hands of people who are malignant narcissists.
I wonder what percent of the population has NPD…
8? 10?
Maybe they’re important to have in our society?
(Some protect us, right? The bigger picture having them is our country is safer/they’re in the military/fight wars for us to have our freedom)
Unfortunately, we are surrounded by ‘em, & when in contact w/ one of them, drained bc they’re not like us regarding regulating their emotions.
(They’re predictably unpredictable 🎢 😂)
Navy Seals
first responders
ER docs
blah blah
Professors
Preachers
Politicians
Good grief
They’re everywhere 🤨
Let’s avoid them ❤
Thank you, you described the narcassist better than I have heard before. They don't want to submit to their vulnerabliities
I have had to change doctors numerous times, as they didn’t understand Ehlers Danlos syndrome. And not interested in learning about it. In Alberta there is a huge shortage of medical staff, so many of us can’t even find a doctor anymore.
My ex is a narc, and recently recognized my mom’s covert narcissism. I hope to remain single for the rest of my life. Peace of mind is first priority got my mental health.
I'm so sorry you had that experience, but I greatly admire your vulnerability in sharing that. I hope you learned something new and feel empowered to advocate for your health 🙏
EDS, the most abandoned diagnosis in the history of medicine. Sending gentle hugs from one zebra to another. 💗 🫂
Yes!! Exactly the same here in the Netherlands.... Also gentle hugs from a fellow EDSer :) ❤️
I empathise completely & will remain single for the rest of my life, too. Marfan's syndrome is like a cousin of Ehlers Danlos, similar zebra which receives little interest. Mental health is also my priority. May the force be with you.....
I'm very likely a fellow Zebra, everything in me has prolapsed, some decades ago, other things more recent. Been researching for years, my now retired dermatologist said he highly suspected a collagen-vascular connective-tissue disease. I now cannot find a doctor who understands, even the Rheumatologists I've been to, since I now am 68 and stiff from 30 yrs of Rheumatoid Arthritis too.
Your talks are so interesting and you speak eloquently. I could listen to you for hours.
Thank you for the kind comments! 🙏 I hope you learned something new and feel empowered to advocate for your health 🙏
@@MedicalSecretswhat if I literally can't be honest about my Valium addiction.. Is it safe to be put under
Great video! The Narc always needs an "enemy" to validate and rationalize their own behavior.
Yes! After my Uncle died, I realized that my Aunt was looking around for someone to replace him as the enemy, and hold in the greatest contempt. It didn't take too long for me to understand that she'd settled her eyes on me. Yikes! I ran like the wind in the opposite direction.
Yes, but you want to know something weird? A lot of narcissists call out other people as narcissists to validate and rationalize their own behavior.
@@fabiorodrigo3638& they accuse you of what they are doing wrong.
I dated a narcissist once. You've just described how he interacts with others. Best way to deal with it is to let them brag and talk sh*t. They're like self entitled children, so just play along and they'll leave you alone. Challenge them in the smallest way and you become public enemy #1
the problem is that anything is perceived as challenge to the fragile ego :(, how you respond, how you not respond, how was your face, or tone of voice.
The best way to deal with narcissist is to not deal with them at all...grey rock for the win.
only way of dealing with them is cutting all communication.
Aaaaand then run as soon as you can and never get in contact again, but unfortunally many narcc people in your life are close family, so....
@@martinhommel3420challenge a narcissist, and you won’t have to get away. They’ll ghost you! All you have to do is not get pulled in again by another one. They seek out certain people. Often times, they are people who believe they can fix people who have been terribly hurt by others.
Well said!!!❤
I wish I could go to this doctor as a psychologist. He is a wealth of knowledge, experience and information
It was my personal experience to encounter that nearly all of them consulted were actually doing more harm than good and proved to not care, be lacking in empathy and absolutely clueless regarding narcissism or dismissive and abuse by proxy narcissistic anti-social predators themselves.
Your voice is so calming. I find it relaxing listening to you
Wow.. thank you for that! No one ever says how hateful, nasty, and exasperating some sick person can be! It's not the illness that's so burdensome and overwhelming, it's their maddening personality.
So glad I found your channel, Doctor. Your video is very illustrative of the complexity of the human mind, and how medical professionals and caregivers need to have an understanding of what makes others tick in addition to the physical state of their health. That on the surface, nasty or inflator of importance person, has a lot of complex issues swirling within themselves that has nothing to do with the person in charge of their care. Looking forward to learning from you. Thanks!
Thank you for the kind comments! 🙏 I hope you learned something new and feel empowered to advocate for your health 🙏
8:11
@@MedicalSecrets As a now retired teache, I know rhat you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
That is why I heap praise, in writing, on doctors, nurses, RPNs, cleaners.... in the hospital when it is deserved. And it almost always is.
I do have one specialist who has the personality of a slug, but he's good at his job and readily arranges apps with other specialists as required. So I'm grateful to/for him.
And doing surgery requires courage and self-confidence, even if this slips over into arrogance now and then.
I'm a semi-retired RN and I just stumbled across your channel; it's superb! I've spent many hours in the OR, and I'm sure most people have so little understanding of your work's importance to them. I had a major surgery 2 years ago and it was a very positive experience due to the excellent care given before, during, and after my anesthesia. My advice to patients; work WITH your anesthesia team for a good outcome.
Thank you for all you do!!!
I've had several surgeries in my lifetime and I have never met my anesthesia team until minutes before I'm put under. No time to "work with" anybody.
@@suemilkbone4868many, many years ago anesthesiologists would call the night before surgery. There really was no discussion. I could tell they were exhausted and didn’t want to call. When I hear this doctor talk about emails he’s receiving from his patients, I’m amazed by the amount of access patients have to talk or email with him. My experience is the same as yours. They pop in right before you’re being wheeled away. In the overall, I find anesthesiologists to have better people skills. I chalk that up to them knowing they’ll be putting you out very quickly, and they’ll never have to talk to the patient again. They aren’t the ones who have to deliver very bad news to you or your family. It’s important to remember that there are covert narcissists. They have learned to mimic the behavior of empaths and other kind people. The amount of paperwork and ever changing regulations placed on all doctors in this day and time, causes many of them to retire early and seek other positions in the medical field where they don’t have to deal with people and paperwork. A very talented surgeon told me that if he was ever to leave his profession that he loves, it would be because of the paperwork getting in the way of his ability to talk to his patients! I couldn’t start talking until he had finished the damn paperwork on the damn computer. I just laughed quietly, and said I totally understand.
One of the nurses told me he demanded his notes be printed out, so he didn’t have to mess with the computer! About a year later, he ended his profession as a surgeon. A great loss of a tremendous talent when he left.
I was probably saved by my anesthesiologist, who stopped an ulcer surgery in midstream because I was vomiting blood. He came and talked to me afterwards. He told me that the surgeon had little experience, and that he was getting an older surgeon to do the surgery the next day. I knew that he "shouldn't" have told me that, but thanked him sincerely for leveling with me, since it made me feel safer to know what was actually going on.
My mom is narcissistic and when she was coming off anesthesia.. she was absolutely vicious.
She also had major issues getting proper care cuz of how she treated ppl who cared for her. But to complicate matters she does have a layering of genetic disorders that are complex and a lot of times, she would get written off as crazy.
Luckily she on a lot of meds and they help control a lot of the mood issues and delusions and she finally is getting care after a mental health invention and some advocacy by family.
She is loved despite it all.
Hopefully she never has a head blow. Mine was in a neck brace that I was ordered--every minute or so--to take off OR ELSE. She'd then forget she did it and do it again. As if I could or would.
Even the nurse had just about had it with her.
After watching a million videos on Narcissism, you gave great examples and insight here!
I can see the caregivers not wanting to be around narcissistic people because no one wants to be brought down and feel bad from another’s self centered behavior. It’s a unfortunate situation for the doctors, nurses, and the patient.
Well there both good caregivers and bad caregivers I encountered a bad caregiver because she is a narcissist always exactly as you said be careful who you trust especially narcissists of all types even in the medical field there the worst to you think you getting the best care when in fact your not !
So much wisdom in this video. Here in Belgium there is still a hierarchy of doctors. And still a percentage believe they are God and treat their patients in a rational, non empathic way. You really stand out with your empathy and at the same time healthy boundaries which is an example for every human being whether they are patients or doctors. I always feel so grateful when medical staff have that 'heart'. It speads up the healing exponentionally for both sides. Thank you for all your work!
Same in America.
I had surgery at Erasme Hospital, and the surgeons were the most anempathic people I have seen in my life, except the anesthesiologist, who was always running after the young and pretty impressed nurses. I am sure anesthesiologists sniff their stuff sometimes...😂
This is my mom, she is 90, when she was admitted to the hospital for pneumonia, after she was transferred to a step down unit, they put her on Xanax to stop her complaining, I stayed with her and fed her, all day everyday sat with her to make sure she drank water, by the time she was better and sent to a nursing home for rehab and finally came home, I was exhausted, never thanked, the complaining never ends, she is never happy or appreciative of anything, it is expected.
Let's set up your mother with my mother, except mine refuses the Xanax because she says her doctor told her it would make her paranoid.
Which would be miles better than the screaming narcissistic demanding...I don't use that word. Maybe the two will kill each other. I actually walked out on her on Sunday, I just couldn't take being screamed at any longer.
@@BronzeDragon133 My mom refused it too, she was talking crazy out of her head, so they had to take her off and she was mad at them for putting her on it, who ever coined the phrase "Only the good die young." was spot on, I think she will live to be 100 or close to it, not that I want her to pass, that is not who I am but she is just that mean.
@@mjc42701 Oh. I'm getting much closer to being That Guy.
@@Rdkhk335 I also find if you sling it back at them, they start to act like it's actual abuse, then point out they're pulling the same crap. "YOU NEED TO STOP!" Right after you do. Bye.
Yes doc more info would be great. Love your utubes.I learn alot. I hope I am not a narcissist person. I have always been a care taker, think enabler of my kids recently learned. I am learning to tame care of me but don't want to be a narcissist. Wonder if there is a personality test to find out my type?
Thank you so much for your time, energy, and wisdom ❤
Dr., your channel attracts people who’ve had sub-par medical care or seemingly insensitive medical professionals based on your video titles and your approach. I acknowledge and sympathize those peoples’ comments about poor experiences.
I have gone into surgeries reading all of the prep information and following all of the pre and post-op instructions. Maybe I did my research or just got “lucky” to have decades worth of great doctors.
I won’t list a litany of my medical surgeries but I have NEVER encountered an insensitive, arrogant-presenting physician , surgeon or PA. They’ve all been communicative, respectful with great diagnostician skills combined with good “bed side manners” AND collaborative.
You just told me what my psychiatrist has been wanting to tell me for years, but didn't because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. I needed to hear this. Thanks for being professional and kind when saying this.
Hi 👋 Doc,
Sorry to hear you’re experiences with narcissists. This exact thing can be also, reversed. In other words, we can encounter very arrogant and narcissists doctors who judges using their own biases and dismiss our concerns.
I only have learned to advocate for myself at my young age (early forties), before I would go with whatever the doc says, or just don’t return for years for fear of their treatment and mistrust as a person of color.
On the other hand, I LOVE anesthesia 😅 I will be under anesthesia again to remove my uterine polyps soon. Can’t wait for it. As soon as I get to lay down I want the drug to rest. It’s the only drug I use by the way lol.
I'm wishing you the best for your upcoming surgery! It sounds like I need a video for the reverse topic, of how narcissistic doctors fail the medical system
I've has the same lot of doctors. I need to find out how to manage doctors!!
@@MedicalSecrets I just had a very bad experience with a doctor who I think is a narcissistic. Her behavior caught me so off-guard, I didn't know how to respond. And I am sorry that so many dedicated medical professionals are treated poorly by patients.
Best wishes for your surgery. And anesthesia is the only place I know of where I can completely escape.
❤
A very important video Doc. Thankyou so much for the work you’re doing and I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I myself have seen how a narcissist have treated medical staff with humiliation, yelling and extreme entitlement. It was horrible to watch. These people are sick, please don’t let them get to you. I’m sure most people are very appreciative for your work. Keep up the good work😊
One of the best videos I listened to on narcissism especially because of your real patient examples. I have found when working with addicts/alcoholics the 'smarter they are' the more difficult to work with because they dance around the obvious... bottoms are a longer way down from their pushed up egos (by themselves and others).
There are a lot of lonely people who are victims of narcissists. They have been the victims of major smear campaigns so they limit how many people they let in their world they can trust. My elderly father is a huge narcissist. He even went as far as going to my medical caregivers in their offices and trashing me and my late Mom. Hoping that I would lose my doctors. It's a good thing my doctor told me about it. He said stay away from him he's a very sick man.
Wowed and amazed to actually see a medical professional with an open heart and not negative thought driven attitude of I’m better than you attitude. I love the love you are mr. Your good people. I appreciate people like you who actually live from the heart and not the head. Keep up and talking truthfully as you do (from your heart). Your amazing dear brother. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🥰😊🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Wow really well written and structured. This talk was really useful and informative for me. Thank you ❤
My pleasure, I hope you learned something new and feel more empowered to advocate for your health! 🙏
I loved this video and thought it was excellent you brought this to light. I think this is downplayed in a healthcare setting but can become quite toxic no matter what level of interaction you have. Thank you so much for sharing. I think this gives a lot of people insight and understanding.
There are a lot of narcissistic surgeons.
That's a whole different story.
Not good for the patients
It’s more likely for a surgeon to be a psychopath rather than a narcissist, though.
@@ArturestAll aspd cluster b's are narcissists. This includes so called psychos and sociopaths
Sure but not so much with the anesthesiologists.
This guy is adorable.
Lord, yes!
He’s cute ❤
It’s compassion and priceless, especially in a world full of more and more narcs.
Just like women don’t like to be objectified, I’m sure men would prefer we see them for all of who they are. This Dr. Is an awesome person, a man of integrity, taking the time to teach us all about the insider information of really important things that happen in the ER. The anesthesiologist is truly the brains behind the operation, no pun intended. He is keeping the patient alive. This amazing Dr. With a huge heart and beautiful soul is married. So as long as the line may be to capture his heart, it has been taken. He is a family man , I know from watching his videos. He has helped me understand so much about what happens in the ER, during surgery, and has helped me advocate better for myself. I’ve had many surgeries over the past 3 years, I’ve never seen 1 anesthesiologist post surgery. I never knew I was supposed to! I had one horrible experience, that left me really shaken, I mentioned it to my surgeon, and was completely blown off.. I assumed it wasn’t a big deal, even though it was to me! Thanks to this kind hearted soul, a Dr. who left his ego out of the mix, has taught me what should be happening and not happening, and Doc., I’m forever grateful to have found you. I feel much less stressed out about having to have another surgery. That means so much..
take it easy ladies, we don’t want this Dr’s wife getting upset, we need him here on you tube!! Thanks so much for the opportunity to learn from you! 🙏 Love your pets.. I see them and always smile. I’m a dog rescue so they have an infinite place in my heart! 💗
YES!
You are telling it just how it is; beautifully clear and cohesive information about this certain personality disorder. Thank you for your videos!
It affects care the other way too. As someone with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome who reacts differently to anaesthesia, including locals that don't work (my mother is the same), you can imagine how many times we've been gaslit by doctors and nurses. It has impacted on how we don't seek intervention when we need it. I'm not saying they're all psychopathic narcissists, just uneducated.
💞
EDS is a unique animal. I have a couple friends with it and I feel for those who struggle with it. I don't have EDS, but my experience as a chronic pain patient who is accustomed to pain and providers who don't understand how chronic pain affects the perception of acute pain often means substandard care. Listening to one such provider almost killed me.
Hello! This. I truly hope he isn't diagnosing people based upon one incident. That's scary as hell. How do you say you are a gaslighter without saying you are a gaslighter? This has so many red flags, my stomach turned.
Very informative. It must be difficult on all. From prenatal care to funeral home, everyone in-between will have to encounter this. It's so much better to be informed about the psychology of why than to blame the patient entirely. Lots of factors contributing. Understanding is key.
As a patient that has worked in hospitals and in nursing homes lam very grateful and respectful 🙏 to medical staff.
I love your channel doctor💞
Much needed information😊
Thank you from a chronically ill person who is also facing Chiari surgery😐
I'm wishing you the best in your healing journey 🙏
Thank you for sharing this with us. It is very important to understand the energy you need to heal. I have been blessed with physicians and health care staff that have literally saved me from dying in the past.
I found your video very informative but it was so much to digest that I will be watching it again. I am married to one but have moved to my own place. Interested in anything pertaining to narcissists. Thank you
Same here 😌
Dr Ramani for recognizing what they did. Great group in her chat!
Little Shaman for telling you like it is without shaming you.
I am so sorry you have to put up with narcissists in the operating room. My brother is a grandiose narcissist and he is unbearable. I can’t imagine having to deal with him as a Patient.
But he does get to make them go away. (Asleep) 😁
@susano7587 - I had two friends who are extremely narcissistic and it got to where I couldn’t stand to be around them. One was constantly begging me for my muscle relaxers and pain medicine. This same person had carpal tunnel surgery done by an orthopedic surgeon friend of mine and he thought he was entitled to the doctor’s personal cellphone number. When I read what you said about your brother I thought about two friends I used to have. 😊
@@NunYa-db7jysomething tells me the doctor has to put up with them once they wake up. LOL!
@@psychedelicpython I am so sorry for you! TWO of them! I had to cut my brother out of my life. He stays up all night drinking, then he calls me in the middle of the night to yell at me for something I didn’t do. Sad but true.
@@psychedelicpython If you let it be known you get scripts you will have beggars. Now you know to keep your mouth shut I bet. Ugh, so sorry. Tacky
Makes sense to me why someone acting like a complete d*ck by eating , smoking or doing drugs before surgery would make any doctor angry.
What I don't appreciate is when as a patient with chronic illnesses that has been violated by the health system so many times gets blamed for being a narcissist when in reality they are defensive and highly suspicious before going under the knife, and for good reason. It has to go both ways here. First respect and trust of the health care system has to be earned. Then we can work on keeping a patient calm and respectful before surgery.
You are not alone. I am in the exact same position.
Hear hear!
Those were my exact thoughts as well.
Your understanding of nuanced interactions with narcissists is great! Thank you for your very helpful videos filled with empathy and solid advice so we can navigate the medical field at a crossroads better.
The cross-over between medicine and narcissism is so interesting! Thank you for sharing your insights!
3:07
"narcissism of fragility"
you just opened my eyes and changed my life.
THANK YOU!
Thank you Doctor, this video helped me understand my mother and older brother’s lifelong complaints about medical care. My mom suffered from Epilepsy and spoiledness. When nurses found out she was in ER, they left her sitting a long time (I know, bcuz as a child I had to go with her) or when hospitalized they took off work. Only new nurses who didn’t know better would care for her. For 50 years, my older brother lived a life of drug/alcohol abuse, running away, & homelessness. He went to ER if he had an accident or felt like he was dying. Most of the time they ended up calling the police as a result of his verbal abusive behavior. When admitted, he left as soon as he could walk out, yes…without Dr. approval. His reason: He couldn’t smoke in the hospital. Good news: He is 65 now, clean, sober and has lived with me for the past three years. He follows my house rules and doesn’t give me any of that non sense. I thank the Lord he’s mellowed with age. I barely listen to his “experience stories” and always thought his bad behavior played a role in not getting the best care. I am thankful for the excellent care I’ve received with all doctors, dentists, ER visits, & hospital stays. Sometimes, I send the, thank you notes. God Bless you 🙏🙏🙏😊😊😊
Thank you for these videos. You have helped reassure me that there are men out there who do care and that are trustworthy and that there are medical staff that care as well. Thanks for being you i appreciate you
Great info! Especially if you have to deal with narcs.
Nailed this topic as well as or better than many dedicated psychology channels…thanks for this! ❤
Lol no
Absolutely brilliant and from a medical not mental health expert, keep em rolling doc.(On 2nd thoughts your mental know how also seems on a par too)
anthony, i think you not only are a skilled doctor but also have a talent for psychology. i think many doctors will not realise the underlying thought patterns behind many of their patients and why they act a certain way. if every doctor was like you, we would have a better medical system - not a perfect one, but a better one
This is very cutting to ones self importance and invaluable analysis, thanks so much. There is a lot I can't hear so I have been re watching. I also notice a lot of comments including myself wanting to point the finger. It is a lot of I am this way because they were that way. I deal with dads apparent, and moms apparent, him being more of the aggressive and her being the passive. All it takes is someone striking out to revert personal growth. We mustn't lose our awareness.
The one thing I disagree with, is that it's a narcissist trait to wish someone could feel one's pain. It can be as simple as wishing to convey the pain one feels, in order to be understood. A person in pain can panic from not being taken seriously.
Yep, that was a desperate cry for empathy from this TH-cam dr, who clearly seethed with rage inside, a narcissistic rage, at the demand.
He made a lot of other mistakes too
Yes. It happens all the time to ME/CFS patients. They are gaslit by doctors who don’t have knowledge about this subject beyond belief
Thanks for covering this topic Doc.
Best advice I've ever received was from a fellow recovering Addict/Alcoholic, he made the statement to me that; we should all seek to walk among our fellow men/women, un-noticed. Though quite imperfect, I try to do just that. I've done and accomplished much in life, but the most important thing has been, connecting to others, especially in their sufferings. An old friend (since childhood) and in recovery gave up his fight and took the final action to leave this existence a week ago and how desperately I wish we could have done something for him, possibly helping him find a way to stay. The recovery community is so full of bent, broken and sorely damaged souls and this subject (narcissism) is front and center always. I sincerely appreciate your compassion and apparent love of humanity. Please keep the education coming.
❤Your knowledge & intelligence goes beyond the OR! Thank You. ❤
Superb video!!! A follow up on this topic will be appreciated!! Thank you for creating such an important, thought provoking, and helpful video…..
Like, Wow--this vid is a show stopper. Fascinating---giving me a pinball ricochet bells ringing cacophony. The topic/material itself; things I recognize that explain a tsunami of experiences w doctors, med staff, patients..., AND My Very Own less-than-'perfect' self evaluation---how I've responded +/or reacted (or N-O-T) in trying moments, with DNA & 'chosen' family. We are so vulnerable to so many things at once with each other--I'll be gnawing on this raw hide chew for days & daze. My brain is imploding--in a 'good' way.
Saw this title and clicked on fast. Coming from a family of narcissist. Never thought about medical professionals having to deal 🤔 with these monsters. Thank you for this. You are awesome
Thank you for this. I’ve been struggling with the narcissist with a superiority complex and with time I became one with the sob story. Makes a lot of things make sense, I always knew I had a woe is me attitude that up I buried with etiquette(as best as I could, in a sense i feel better looking back at all the times I failed) and then I felt like I was at war and never came back.
Unfortunately inducing shame and doubt in others seems to be pretty standard in personal interactions these days. I agree that street narcotics are used to mitigate loneliness. Yes I would like to see a video on responses. Thank you!
Excellent analysis … Thank you. I think victims of narcissists can suffer with some of the same dysfunctions- void of grandiose thinking and bullying etc. , type behaviors - but anxiety , isolation, loss of sense of self, addiction, etc. Seriously, I’ve either responded with , confronting them with the truth and laughing about it, like, talking to them like they are children and I’ve got their number, in a playful way, or treating them like babies, they love it. Referring to them as sweetheart , baby, etc., makes them feel special and they love having someone with that attitude attending to them. This isn’t to say they can’t lash out at that type of person if they don’t get their way, but it’s less often , and they don’t want to lose that special attention so they try to be more pleasant but also think they can manipulate a bit more . As long as you look at it as a game you have to play rather than taking it personally , because narcissists are not discriminatory , they simple look at people as useful idiots, until they aren’t. Sometimes they will graduate a person to the higher ranks of their appraisal - only because they are more useful to their ego or getting their “needs” met, as unrealistic as those might be. But when they begin to devalue you, they are ruthless and you have to develop a hard shell and play that game of treating them like an ill natured child you must contend with.
There are the more sophisticated narcissists who will only respond to you affirming their greatness , entitlement, intellect , and or beauty , and only that will suffice. Other than that - rough them up a little bit and let them know who’s really in charge …😂😂😂
It’s so comforting when a Dr. talks with his hands and seems to be fascinated by his UNIQUE approach to revealing medical “secrets” - almost like that guy at a bar who is smart AND charming. Guy Smiley is always big eyed, grandiose and inviting isn’t he? Nothing new under the sun.
Dude you are the best! I appreciate your throughout explanations of how in this case a mental disorder can affect your medication and treatments.
The ancient Greeks knew way more about psychology than we do today. It's in all their legends.
Hi Dr. Greetings from New Zealand. I find your videos to be extremely informative. You seem a very multi faceted person in your teachings and you have a gift for it. In addition to being a grounded and skill full speaker. Thoroughly enjoying my meandering search through your contents. Take care. 😊
Yes, please make a video about how medical professionals should respond to patients high on the narcissism scale. I know now that I’ve had a multitude of them and I didn’t realize this. I’m an RN.
I would also love this video.
I’m compassionate with all of my patients. Looking back throughout my career, not realizing it at the time, those patients who gave me the most trouble and were the most noncompliant were likely highly narcissistic. Unfortunately , those are the patients that I remember the most.
20 years married to a vulnerable hypersensitive narcissist. If you're only going to have limited time ,then send them on their way, Id go with validation. Yes, I found out what VN is and got away and am breathing free now.
@@NunYa-db7jy The Covert Narcissist and also was once married to one of them too. To date and even after thirteen years of being free of him, I just recently found out the miserable pathological liar with the maturity level of a toddler (along with it's family) still has my name on his mouth and continues twisting the facts in order to play the hero and impress others.
To dealing with narcc people/patients it is the easiest to *take the blame*. Example with eating before the operation "Oh no, I am so sorry. I guess I did not properly explain how important it is not to eat before an operation. I am so sorry that I can not operate on you, because then your stomach would release the food and it would run into your lungs and kill you. I wish I had known I needed to explain it better, I can not risk it having you die on my operation table"
And because patients have to sign a waver about all the stuff they can not do/should do before surgery and the thing about food, both doc and narcc know whose fault it is, but because you took the blame, the narcc will be most likely much better at following important stuff from now.
Especially when you follow up with reminding them of important stuff "Oh I am so sorry if I am bothering but, I am only worried I didn't explain it well enough like it happened last time and I really want to make sure you are healing up properly and have all the information you need."
Always put it in an I way, never imply that they misunderstood something or whatever, makes them defensive. You will always be at fault to them, so take the blame from the beginning, take as much fire from them as you can and mellow them and go forward.
Not a doc, was caretaker in nursing homes and you gotta deal with similiar things there.
Great topic, doctor!!
Thank you!
Always learn and share.. ty Dr
K
Thank you and I appreciate you taking the time to explain and answer questions. I have been put under for several L hip surgeries. I believe they used a spinal block with sedation that did not include gas when I became an adult. I woke up feeling great, both mentally and physically. I couldn't believe it was over, how quick it went and because of the block I had no pain to start with. Waking up felling good without nausea was a new experience over surgery that took away all anxiety and fear for me. When I was a 15 I fractured my L Femur & I have horrible memories of going under gas anesthesia. The fear and try to stop it was alarming. But my two hip surgeries as an adult went as well as I could have ever imagined due to the Anesthesia and the Anesthesiologist. But two years ago I had a rotator cuff repair as well as reattachment of my bicep with my shoulder and when I woke up and 3-4 days later I was throwing up and nauseous? I attribute that to the gas? Is it more likely to be nauseous after gas as opposed to anesthesia delivered via IV?
This doc is incredible...he gets it.
This explains why my ex was extra narky when he had his teeth pulled. Boy was I glad when that hangover wore off! 😮💨 Even more when i finally escaped! 🥳 It would be difficult to remain ethical as a dr treating a narcissist, especially if you had been subjected to narc abuse before.
I've learned alot , very good tips !!!
Greatly appreciated 🙏❤😊
Very useful info - please post a “how to respond” video! Interested in learning more! 🙏
I could see the stress melt off the anesthesiologist face when I told him in the prep room before my hysterectomy that I knew he would do his best, but that I had no expectation of being pain-free after the surgery. I have great compassion for anybody who is willing to work in medicine.
Very interesting and informative!! Love the channel! Learning a lot!
That is deep but I understand where you are coming from!😊
My parents are both narcissists and unfortunately because of severe anxiety, depression, and being on the autism spectrum I have to live with them! All of these things you describe are them however sometimes people on the autism spectrum also have trouble connecting with people but we have empathy even though sometimes we don't understand if we say something and why it wrong. Also sometimes other people especially on the spectrum can be lonely too. Never understand why people think someone on the spectrum like me is a narcissist when we have the ability to love and care about others. Can you do a video about people on the spectrum like me with the surgery? I had knee surgery in 2014 but don't remember much. All I did remember though is how the nurses said that I was loving the attention. My mother said, "very preceptive." Not surprising since as narcissists my parents think everyone is like them. In reality the real reason I liked how the nurses were worrying over me is because it was nice to have some people that care about me where as my parents don't because narcissists can't love.
Thanks for the tips and Uniqlo recommendations. ❤
Thanks for making a video about this. Having trouble with narcissistic neighbours and family.😒🙄
Love the information you share. I've always been curious how I am in recovery after surgery. I know we can say some pretty wacky stuff.
Thanks for sharing your that's knowledge on so many subjects.
Six months ago I came to the realization and understanding that my mother is a narcissist. A vulnerable one. It actually came to a head as a result of two joint replacement surgery she had within five months of each other and the resulting abuse I suffered as a result of being her caretaker during that time. It revealed a lifetime of abuse and other actions that helped me understand my relationship with her. This video actually clarified all of that abuse during the caretaking. Thank you for this fantastic video.
You seem like a kind man. Glad to have someone like you serving others! I do want to add tho - one does not have to have narcissist traits to "dr shop" . Many of those who want answers are caretakers of others and need to be around for thier sakes. They worry. Overthink siutations because they may have eldely parenta or chimdren they know depend on them. I know many who have been misdiagnosed or mistreated by medical professionals they reliaze the only real advocate for thier health is themselves.😅
I work in the Medical field I find your knowledge and information very useful and valuable. .Thanks.
You're awesome! I wish everyone could have you for their anesthesiologist.
That so kind of you! 🙏
Well said Doc.
Thank you doctor, yes please, I would love to see your video on how to deal with narcissistic behaviours. Thank you for this one.
Maybe this is why my diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder with antisocial personality disorder traits ex husband refuses to speak about his time in surgery to have his shattered wrist pinned. He was the type of person to always have a story (often a lie) to tell about every situation he was in unless it was one where he felt shame. The surgery experience seemed to change him for a while and made him more passive. This is something when he was always a cowardly but aggressive, violent, manipulative, sadistic, attempted murderer. It is incredibly difficult to affect a narcissists view of themselves which they assume is everyone's view of them. Reputation is internal for them and other peoples view of them has no effect on them. The way to get at their internal reputation is shame. It only lasts until they find the right reason to dismiss it and resume their standard ways.
The person trying to one up you on your watch can be soothed by telling them they have a great taste in watches and allowing them to talk about it. Don't put yourself down at all. Let them decided where you sit in relation to them. Lowering yourself will only make them sense you are weak and want to abuse you. If you want to become their "friend" talk about their taste in watches to others in-front of them. "This is Bill, he has a great taste in watches".
The people who did things they weren't supposed to do before surgery were showing antisocial traits. They are purposely going against your rules in small ways to test your response. If they can get you to act negatively against them then they can declare you the enemy and will move to tear you down. If you barely respond or not at all then they can relax a little knowing they flaunted your rules and got away with it. They will keep doing these little pushes on your authority for the entire of their stay. Let them think they have a little power but don't give them more (they will get abusive) and they will be much more agreeable. " I can get my doc to do anything for me".
Yes! My Dad does this! There's always a story, it's highly embellished, and always makes him look good.If he relates something funny you told him to another, he embellishes that too. He sets the tone,and keeps himself from being the butt. I get it now.
wise words! I unfortunately "rub" narcissists on a wrong side
Your authority? Employing ur opinion and skill doesn’t override my bodily autonomy.
@@YeshuaKingMessiah no one cares about your autonomy
Excellent and generous explanation, thank you 👋
The last one where a patient says they wish that you could feel how they do... I think that is because they want others to know how they feel
Thank you so much for this video!
Interesting that patients tell their doctor to go through what they're going through. How shocking! Doctors usually automatically can feel their patients, even if their patients don't say anything. Anyway, interesting observation. Thanks for sharing! 👏🥰
This was eye opening. Thank you.
I don't know what type of anesthesia a doctor gives during a colonoscopy. I do know that I didn't remember anything but my wife at the time ( a twenty year veteran RN), said the doctor and nurses came out cracking up laughing. Thank you Doctor for your enlightening videos.
I have npd abusive sister….hopefully I will stop being abused bc I’ve find created very strong boundaries
Hey Doc. Our doctors over here in Australia should see your videos. I’ve learnt a lot through them. I recently had a Right Hemicholectomy. Pretty sure they knocked me out by injecting the stuff in the cannula in my arm, I was preparing myself for the sharp pain of a needle in my spine, as I was to get an epidural, which I never felt. I’m a rare person who considers an op an adventurer into places I can’t go, and always happy to go under. I have met the occasional, not patient happy Anaesthetist who haven’t made me feel happy to go under, I hope if I saw him again after the procedure I told him off. I think I know why my healing rate is good after the op. Happy going under better recovery rate after the op right. Keep up the great work Doc. Very informative.
Very interesting and informative progam. Than you Dr. Kaveh
How do you tell the difference between a person with narcissistic tendencies and someone on the autistic spectrum? Or doesn't that matter in terms of your response to the interaction? Some patients I've delt with seemed to be working really hard to show gratitude but once the drugs kicked in they seemed completely lost on what to say or how to say it. So they ended up saying nothing even when they should have let someone know they needed help. Other staff took this as being cold and ungrateful.
Dr ramani, an expert, has a video specifically on that.
This guy isn’t an expert at all and it’s wrong of him to pretend he is. He’s really bad at it. He also doesn’t understand the story of Narcissus.
But to summarize, the autistic person, once informed that they have hurt someone else, will feel badly about that. They may not be able to recognize when it happens but if it does they didn’t do it on purpose.
Narcs hurt you on purpose. They are in contrast supremely aware of other people’s feelings and recognizing discomfort, they just don’t care. They only cate about their own feelings.
@@M_SC I think he does understand and knows enough even if not as much as an expert as Dr. Ramani on the subject. I'm actually on the spectrum and I do feel bad if I hurt someone's feelings but at times even when they explain things to me I still have Trouble sometimes understanding why they hurt about what I said or did and why it's wrong.
@@dineyashworth8578 Thank you for sharing your valuable perspective and experience. Does the trouble you sometimes experience understanding the reason for the hurt or why it's wrong cause you any distress? I ask that question to gauge your interest in my making a comment about your statement.
@@MichaelSonnyMartin obviously though don't know why they're offended.
People on the autistic spectrum are often misdiagnosed as having NPD or antisocial personality disorder. I would be surprised if Sam Vaknin had not addressed your question somewhere on his channel.
My ex was diagnosed by a psychiatrist as a NP. I know how he treats me but holy sh*t you’ve made me realize the way he has treated at least 3 doctors I can remember. One is recently this past month. He didn’t like the psychologist our teen son was seeing and fired her while my son is in crisis.