Borderline Parents
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 พ.ย. 2024
- Dr. Kirk discusses what it’s like to have parents who suffer from borderline.
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This content is for educational and informational purposes only. Although Kirk Honda is a licensed marriage and family therapist, this content is not a replacement for proper mental health treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health provider regarding any questions or concerns you have about your mental health needs.
Hey, “I have BPD and I’m a great parent! The best parent ever!”. That is exactly what my mother used to say. She is my worst nightmare. Ask your son/daughter how they feel about you before you make assumptions.
Damn… how did she come to be diagnosed?
My mother has always been so sure she's the best mother in the world. Any time she got angry or disappointed with me she would say "but I pay for your school books, buy you clothes and medicines when you are sick". She thinks she deserves a medal.
@@fraufuchs9555I always loved that logic... "I DID WHAT PARENTS ARE REQUIRED TO DO, WORSHIP ME!!!"
lol, no.
I agree with Dr. Honda not to generalize people with borderline. However, the people who do abuse the kids, need to be talked about because it can be incredibly brutal for the entire family.
I know my mom's individual behavior's can be seen as just simple abuse but its everything (all the ways she abused my siblings. Dad and myself, her expectations, her tantrums, complete dependency on us, making us feel like she is our responsibility, and her own traumatic childhood, etc.) that lead me to think she has BPD.
But I think a lot of people couldn't fit everything in a single post to thoroughly explain the BPD parent.
I sympathize with my mom as far as I think its sad that she is her age and not confident that she is capable and her childhood was bad , but that doesn't excuse her for ruining our childhoods and the abuse that she continues to this day and that she invalidates any criticism we make have of her, no matter how small and turns it into a 2-5 hour rant where she discusses all the ways we have wronged her over the years starting with literal infanthood.
I will never know for sure if my mother has a borderline personality disorder. With that said, from the age of 25 to 35, I was supported by an amazing psychologist who helped me becoming confident and aware of the emotional abuse I had been subjected to since my childhood. In 2018, I found out my mother had had a relationship with an ex boyfriend of mine, who was a bit older than me... It crushed me. For 2 months, I felt like I had just been in a car crash. I was constantly shaking and crying. However, this is the greatest thing that could have happened... From the moment I found out about it, there was no more grey zone... there was no more "maybe its all my fault.. maybe Im just as terrible as she describes...". The doubts were forever gone. There was something deeply wrong with my mother I was programmed to love and care for... During my entire childhood, my mother was inconsistant. She could be kind, treat me like her greatest allie (against my father mostly..), and the next day, I was just another user in her life, she hated me, screamed at me that I didn't love her, tell me I was the reason why she was stuck with my father... She would break my heart over and over and over again... As far as I remember, this started when I was 5 years old... My mother, never had any friend. She hated her 7 siblings. She hated my fathers siblings. She isolated us from any family we could have had. Her entire life, she described them as crazy, mean, drunks, etc. Turns out, they are actually nice. My mother destroyed everything around her. Destroyed her relationships with others, as well as relationship between others around her. She told horrible lies to my brother who has only recently got to know me for who I am.. He got to know me after she was hospitalized for 3 months... While in the hospital, she accused me of stealing her jewels, after the doctor asked me to remove her neckless before her scan exam... I cared for her ass for 3 months anyway... while I was pregnant and exhausted. I never even stole a single dollar from my parents or from anyone... I am highly educated. The most educated of us all (I have 2 brothers). I have friends. I have a good job. I don't do drugs and I have no criminal record...and yet, I spent my entire life being called all sorts of things from my mother.. behind my back, mostly.. Or right in my face when I would talk about any kind of subject she she didn't want to hear about (global warming, management, whatever..). I suffered from low self esteem until 2018. I suffered so much under her care and under her twisted guidance as an adult... I no longer have any contact with her and she is now at the end of her life. As terrible as this sounds, I am looking forward to her passing... Not because I hope that this human being would die soon...but simply because Nothing else will ever stop her. After her stay in the hospital, she kept on going... saying I didn't deserve my son. I could no longer take her abuse... I could no longer hear her voice. I am french speaker, so there may be a few english mistakes here. Thank you for reading. And thank you, Dr. Honda. Much love. Isabelle
I hope you will find peace without your borderline parent.
My mother acted very very similar to your. She hated everyone and destroyed everything. Iam trying to forgive her to find a piece in my heart. My therapist told me , she had a very severe Borderline...
It's a self fulfilling prophecy. Because my mother throws tantrums over nothing, I get so tired and simply don't have the energy to be in contact with her. I used to care a lot when I was younger, now I'm pretty desensitized.
Exactly! I feel really sorry for my mother, and I understand her fear of abandonment, but she just makes me wish to be far from her. Even calling her is something I just do because I feel obligated to.
😮😢 I agree with the both of y'all, it's exhausting 😔
"Being borderline doesn't automatically mean you are abusive"
Completely agree, just like being NPD doesn't automatically mean you are abusive. Personality disorders don't abuse people, people abuse people.
The real question is "Are people with Cluster B personality disorders (NPD/BPD/HPD/ASPD) significantly more likely to be abusive" and the answer to THAT question is a very definitive "YES!!!"
I have a borderline sister and while she has her problems she is a very loving person, just because someone is borderline doesn't make them evil. I love her she is my best friend.
There are usually empathy / highly sensitive people that experience horrific abuse .
I have a borderline sister and while she has her problems she does everything she can to blameshift, lie, manipulate and "DARVO". She runs smear campaigns against those who don't cater to her warped perceptions, and cater to her whims. She financially abuses my poor mother, who has purchased multiple cars, a house, college, vacations and other big ticket items for her to keep in her good graces. It doesn't work, she still mistreats them. She is a terrible human being.
I am very happy for you and your relationship with your sister. I am not posting my experience to degrade your positive experience, but I believe that it is important to provide counterpoints to the "BPD cheerleading" that can occur.
Tulop, I am so happy for you and your sister. She is so very lucky to have you, and you are so lucky to have her. 🌺
@@StarsMatterI am so sorry to hear about your experience. I have experience with several people that are professionally diagnosed with BPD, and unfortunately my experience with the disorder strongly mirrors yours.
Of course the Reddit chat is angry- they were raised by abusive and mentally unstable caretakers! My childhood was hell but I'm creating my own happy ending to the story...
Well yes, getting stuck in anger however isn't a great idea and is easier than people realize. Happy to see you're doing well now ^ ^
This helped me understand my mother. She may have other things going on as well, but having empathy for her feels so much better than nothingness or anger.
After listening to this I became curious about r/raisedbyborderlines since my late dad was diagnosed with BPD when I was a kid. I wanted to see if exposure to the community would have any sort of healing-by-validation-of-experience-through-sharing effect on me. Some of the posts I read through were very relateable so I commented on one, sharing my own experience, and was promptly BANNED from the community... The message I recieved from the moderator informing me of my new banned status stated that if I had any questions regarding the reason for why I was banned, I could respond to the message and inquire. I did just that, asking simply "Why was I banned?" and I was "temporarily muted" by the moderator with no explanation. Lol. Okay then. Cool community.
Well the quickest way of getting borderline is getting raised by someone with borderline so it’s likely clusterfuck in there.
I had a similar experience and heard it's common in that thread.
@@saragalea9134🎯
Finding this channel is a breath of fresh air! Amazing ❤️
Thank you Dr. Kirk for your knowledge, compassion and humility. This video is profoundly helpful and insightful for me being a daughter of a BPD parent. I don't have BPD myself but I'm able to see how my abandonment trauma from mistreatment from this parent manifests in various ways in life. I can see how my own internal struggles with beliefs about myself and trusting others can be (and have already been to a great extent through loving, dependable relationships in my life) eased and replaced with reinforcement of these beliefs:
1. I am lovable
2. This other person can be trusted
3. When there is a rupture, we can talk and things will be okay
4. I, as a client, am worth the effort.
Your content has been one of many helpful resources and tools on my healing journey. Thank you
A rant.
So perhaps pop culture is moving away from the label "narcissist" (or "narc" oiy, really don't like that lazy shortcut) and now is using the term "borderline" to label unpleasant people. Or worse, "bord" or and equivalent silly shortcut. I label my mother just plain dangerous. "Dangerous" does not require a clinical diagnosis and is far more problematic than "narcissist" or "borderline."
I’ve always had a problem with that subreddit as well. People tend to generalize a lot of shitty parenting with borderline.... when they’re two different things.
Anyone insterested about healing from BPD should check out Dr. Daniel Fox. He specializes in personality disorders and has a playlist for treatment of BPD. Another great and informative psychologist.
Mark Smith
Kim Sage
Daniel Fox
Dr. Ramani for NPD/cluster B survivor
AJ Mahari for BPD. Dr. Daniel Fox is pretty good, but borders on teaching enabling/codependency behaviors.
AJ Mahari has excellent/compassionate advice on helping borderlines while maintaining strong boundaries and preventing abuse/manipulation/enmeshment/codependency.
Dr. Honda, great episode. You described my mother as if you know her personally. You have helped me understand more about her and myself. I see now how she gets offended by every little thing and actually believes it's abuse. I have researched this personality disorder for years from different psychologists. I 100% believe we both have BPD. I know you have no way of knowing this to be true and can't trust my unprofessional opinion, but thats okay. It took me a long time to realize I have BPD because it is a spectrum with subtypes. When I learned about "silent" BPD it all made sense and started coming together.
The stigma of BPD is so severe that I've actually been warned by a counselor not to tell therapists of my self diagnosis because they treat people with BPD so badly. I believe this too. BPD is so easy to paint as evil and hopeless and thats how we feel about ourselves. I have seen both polarizations of people with diagnosed bpd to be both wonderful parents and extremely abusive.
All the injustices my mother has received from her family she has done to me (minus the sexual abuse) I see this cycle and because of it I'm terrified to have my own children and the same to them. Though I do have hope for myself as a future parent; I am terrified that I will keep the cycle going.
Thank you for bringing some clarity to the empathy issue. So often BPD and NPD sufferers are described as lacking empathy. I do believe empathy exists, but self-preservation overrides any empathy that might be present.
Bingo, you got it.
Both NPD and BPD (and really all personality disorders) were all children who were left to fend and find resources for themselves. They know, first hand, that the world is very dangerous, very early in their life and hold on to that child built but stunted survival mechanism to navigate (ie. NPD grandiose sense of self to make up for their self worth getting grounded by their caregivers, BPD hot and cold to make up for the void of their caregivers abandoning them, histrionic attention grabbing to make up for the lack of foundational attention needed. AVPD learning that avoidance will make things go away. I don't know antisocial very well to comment). They're people, they'll have some sort of "Oh, I get what you mean because I went through the one thing" but because they're still on high alert for danger that may or may not exist and because we're beings who are biologically hardwired to stay alive, they protect themselves first.
Doesn't mean these people cannot be abusive-because, they can very well be-but they're also deserving of being undemonized and have access to objective healthcare.
Thank you dr honda for helping me being more compassionate and understanding 🙏🙏🙏
I would say almost every discussion in Reddit is pretty toxic. The type of people who spend all day commenting are not those with healthy social lives. I was in the RaisedByNarcissists sub and ended up leaving cause it kept me in angry state of mind. It definitely helped for validation, but after a point it's toxic.
In response to your description of BPD, almost everything you said was my mother. For a long time I felt she was on the narcissistic spectrum because my siblings and I were put into the golden child, scapegoat, and invisible child roles. However, she didn't have a grandiose sense of self. Her outward insecurities were extreme.
Her childhood was extremely tragic. Things most people wouldn''t believe. She grew up in a third world country, her mother abandoned her at a young age to move to the US. She was kept with a racist family that used her like a slave, separated from siblings, then randomly brought to Manhattan in the 1980s during the coke epidemic. Was literally hiding under cars during shootouts. Apparently her white father had a white family and just used her mother as a mistress. So I obviously never met him. I'll never know for sure that she has BPD, but her parenting was extremely abusive, toxic, and intrusive. She could never hold down a job or keep any friends.
My sisters and I weren't allowed to have social lives and she would threaten to send us off to her country. She did this with one sister, I guess to force her to live her own trauma? I was an ambitious child because I desperately wanted to escape the social isolation, but learned I had to hide everything from her. My good grades were a threat. I joined a sport and she called the cops on me because she didn't like it. No adults ever believed me so I had to do everything on my own. I grew up very attachment avoidant and at 27 am currently working my way out of that. These videos definitely help because the more aware I am of these things, the more it makes sense. I doubt she would ever go to therapy and talk this through, but I can't even be in the same room as her. I have empathy for her, but also understand that I am not mentally capable of helping her. If I get too close she may come after my career or relationships because she sees them as a threat. She abuses my younger sibling by telling him that if I don't come around it's because he's bad. She does this right in front of me. I just can't stand it and chose NC.
Same here. My mother hated that I had friends or that I studied too much. She even became annoyed when I started my first job, and couldn't accept I didn't want to live with her even though I was an adult.
I wish you all the best in life.
Thought my mama was NPD, but I’m realizing the Cluster B disorders are definitely on a continuum. So makes sense that she might mildly be BPD too.
My mom is bipolar and borderline and she has ADHD, it was NOT fun growing up with her at all. We argued all the time and when I was 14 she called the people who re-home kids to other places and told them they had to take me. She was not diagnosed at this time and so she wasn't taking any medications.
My mom is BPD with a strong helping of NPD. My understanding is that there are a lot of Borderlines with NPD co-morbidities.
I hate the stigma regarding BPD. Not all those who have BPD are controlling, abusive maniacs. Some of us that struggle with this disorder including myself, can be actually extremely loving parents. Having had an abusive, toxic childhood growing up, I do my best to make sure I am the mommy to my kids that I needed when I was a child. Anyways, I keep my mental health private and dont let people know because of the infamous stereotypes.
Wonderful as always! I’ve learned quite a bit through these videos. After coming across this one, I now wonder if you’ve ever considered looking at the couple of Asuelu and Kalani from 90 Day Fiancé, even though they don't have borderline personality disorder. They’re parents. It would be interesting to hear your take on them, especially with what’s happened in the series recently.
I have theories about Asuelu but hearing a professional’s view would be better than someone who had to take sociology and psychology as a degree requirement over a decade ago. lol
What’s happened to them recently?? I haven’t been keeping up with the new season
I'm not a professional lol but.. I believe he may have been born with fetal alcohol syndrome, in polynesian countrys, it's very common. I only say this because I am a Pacific islander myself and see it a lot. You should have a look 😊
@@georgia-blue9734 I've never heard of that but is this something you believe based on his looks or his behaviours?
@@Sunny888 scientifically it is both but it really depends on his diagnosis. A person could look relevantly normal but still could have FAS. It occurs when the mother is pregnant and drinks a lot of alchohol continuously.
People who have FAS, have behavioral problems and Intellectual disabilities. I've read a lot comments about his eyes, and that's the first signs of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Their eyes are typically smaller.
@Lianza Turcotte Asuelu seems to be showing extreme signs of depression and walked out on Kalani and the kids. He's emotionally distant. He's not bonding very well with the kids. He's not communicating much...and honestly given the way Kalani and her family puts him down for everything since he stepped foot in the US, even when he does something good, he's probably suffering from it and finally reached his limit. His father in law constantly threatens him.
Stay away from BPD people. Yes they deserve love, yes they deserve respect. No, they dont get to insult, disrespect, and devalue as they continue to "resolve" their issues. You dont have to be around them and if they dont have that under control you should NOT be around them for your mental health. Stay away from them and if they're you're loved ones, loved them from afar do it for YOU.
Thank you! 🙏🏻
Thank you so much, my mother is struggling with borderline and so does our relationship. This is a very nuanced insight. Thank you.
These are so incredibly helpful, thank you Dr. Honda!
lmao i totally see why 19:58 whenever someone on the internet talks about personality disorders he doesn't believe it
Parental Alienation. Do you have any podcasts on this subject? :-)
I'm a member of the Raised by BPD subreddit. I get what Dr. Kirk is saying about how the rules can encourage a bubble/circle-jerk (if you'll pardon the expression) atmosphere. I come from a severely dysfunctional family, and the dysfunction is multi-generational. My former therapist told me that she thought my mother may have NPD or BPD but she didn't specialize in those disorders so she couldn't make a diagnosis. She said the only reason she even told me about her suspicions was that it might help me on he road to my recovery. My mother hasn't seen a therapist since I was a teenager, so I will probably never get a formal diagnosis. However, hearing about this disorder really helped me get the help I needed and it allowed me to find a therapist who specialized in treating people who grew up with this family dynamic. Until I heard about this disorder, I didn't know why I felt such emptiness and misery and why I felt like such a failure. Reading and understanding BPD/NPD really helped me pull the curtain back on all of the lies and manipulations and gaslighting that my mother did throughout my life. It helped me understand my attachment disorder and why it existed. It helped me understand why she pitted my brother against me and vice versa and what the "black sheep" was and why I was picked for that role. It helped me understand her erratic behavior, constant criticism, depression and uncontrollable and frightening rages. It even helped me understand why she is so mean to waitstaff when we go out to dinner. Most of all, it helped me build stronger boundaries and try to rediscover and build my sense of self. I understand why as a professional Dr. Kirk feels uncomfortable about people self-diagnosing BPD when they're not professionals and aren't trained. However, sometimes we need the diagnosis in order to heal - otherwise going to therapy can feel like looking for a needle in a haystack. You know you're broken, but you don't understand why or how.
The same thing happened to me when I was diagnosed with ADD in my early 20s. I had no idea why I wasn't able to do well in college and high school until I had the diagnosis. Once I had that, a light bulb went off in my brain, and I finally understood that I wasn't stupid and crazy - I just had a learning disorder. I was then able to do research and find out what tools I needed to learn in order to succeed in school, and I graduated college with a high GPA. The diagnosis allowed me to educate myself in order to succeed in school for the first time in my life.
The point with all of this is that IMHO sometimes self-diagnosis is the only road we have - especially since so few people with BPD/NPD go into therapy. I believe in science. I would love it if my mom would go to therapy and get a diagnosis from someone who is properly trained, and then share that diagnosis with her family. However, knowing her I will never get that. If me self-diagnosing her disorder helps me to heal and understand all the erratic and abusive things she does then I don't see the harm, personally. With that said, I don't hate her. She has a lot of good qualities; she's intelligent, and she could be my fiercest advocate when I needed her to be, but she was not a good Mom. I feel sorry for her TBH. She grew up in a horribly abusive household so I understand why she is the way she is. I wish she would get help. She lives a lonely life. It's really sad.
Thanks Dr. Kirk.
Thank you so much ! It's exactly what I needed to hear ! Your video helped me alot.
Also disagree with the stable job thing.... A borderline CAN hold a job and outperform everyone they work with ...
Some social dynamics see the BPD as an asset esp. one that shows up every single day even if they re sick, still drunk, hungover, other half in the hospital with DKA...
Man. You’re insane.
@@scoutclapscheeks2203 def. Have my moments
But am I really nuts? Or, do I truly not care what anyone reading my internal monologue thinks about it
Basically, none of us will ever really KNOW each other and while my "rants" do make me like psychotic I can assure you- I'm pretty normal on a day to day basis 😁
@@7fcutiepie listen. I’m not trying to be a prick. I’m sorry. I went through a childhood with later diagnosed BPD single mother. You are a step ahead. My mother has quit seeing that pdoc and was insulted by him. She still has not looked for help. At sixteen, I was a shell of a person. Just, if you really do have a son. Please save him from the fate that I had to suffer. Let him know of your condition. Let him know that some of your behaviors should not be considered normal. If you love him, realize that you have a condition and that you may act irrational. Don’t let your condition spread and manifest into his mentality. Guard him from yourself. Realize that you are loved, love him. His love for you is undying. I have estranged my mother, but I still love her. I pity her. I wish I could love her how I wish. But she chose a life of torment because she couldn’t save herself and overcome. I just want to make sure that you don’t spread this affliction, which I cannot blame you for as the world is shitty and I do not know what you’ve been though. Please, you know your faults. This is good, great. Most do not realize. Use this power to prevent hurting him.
@@scoutclapscheeks2203 he knows..he knows everything ..my mother is a "super" narcissist so when I had my child Even though I'm not a "heartfelt" or "touchy/ feely" person I promised I would explain EVERYTHING to him to the best of my ability
Sometimes I ask my child if he thinks hes narcissistic (I know he's not but it has become an inside joke)
I have asked him if I "suck" lol his reply was "no, under the circumstances your doing just fine"
Theres so much that goes into it all...way more than I could possibly write on a youtube comment section
But he's happy, healthy, thinks I'm hilarious-we laugh until our stomachs hurt and the rest just gets dealt with
very relevant, thank you
I appreciate your work!
Would you ever consider posting these on Spotify?
This was great. ... Thanks for posting.
Have you talked/ can you talk about the point around non-abuse but still abandonment causes of bpd?
I'm also a huge beatles fan! I have a beatle wall in my studio (:
From my understanding wasn't Marsha Linnehan advocating for a name change, from it being a "personality" disorder because it being a personality disorder implies that it is part of you and never goes away.
They want to change it to emotionally unstable personality disorder. It’s still personally disorder but we understand it’s not walking the border of two personalities but the difficulty controlling emotions to the point it controls your personality.
omg....i do that thing where someone does something small and minor and you get massively triggered and then you interpret it as that person causing that. I think that's why I dumped the guy I was dating, I thought he was doing it to me but really it was cuz of my childhood... omg yeah I had a vague impression that how I feel is different from other healthier people like the experience i have in relationships isn't like how other ppl experience relationships like romantic relationships bring out all the bad childhood feelings and it's painful for me to be in one
My mom was very likely BD. She is still living I say "was" because she seems to have improved. I am a Christian and I prayed and prayed that she would change so that we could care for her in her old age. I believe God granted the gift. I feel that her dementia had something to do with it because my dad's personality also changed when he had it. We are now able to care for her with love and not fear or resentment. Thank you, Jesus.
Hey Dr. Kirk please watch 90 day fiance karine and paul
Just to comment on the first part of this video... it is really not worth paying attention to haters who have nothing else to do than bullying online like cowards over simple opinions on the Beatles... really...
So fascinating, strange and sad
46:26, how about getting adopted, and later you found out youre only good for being a reward of youre parents.. 😢
From the video and comments reddit sounds like an angrier more opinionated Twitter 😂
Switched off when it became all about Reddit and not the topic as listed
I'm going to make a video with my kid ... He spends a year with me then a year with his dad ...when he comes back.... Def. Making a video lol I'm sure every self-righteous parent will despise me ...buuuuut maybe it needs to be seen
I got rid of Reddit years ago, bc it's toxic af.
Reddit sounds like a scary place 🥸
You’re unsafe because you lack traits and an observing ego. ♥️ you hurt on purpose….. not on purpose.
Thanks so much ❤
Non abuse chronic abandonment ....check!! Screw that dude...and then sourounded by narcissists urgh!
Quiet BPD
I wish people stopped associating personality disorders with abuse. Sure, there are abusive people who have personality disorders but there are LOADS of people who don't have personality disorders who are abusive as hell. And people who like to comment on this topic should dig a little more: BPD is a bio-social disorder which means it has a genetic cause but also an environmental/social cause. Plainly said, bpd is partly caused by having been neglicted and/or abused in childhood in such a significant way that it changes the way a person interprets, reacts and handles situations/relationships/emotions. And this is the part that no one ever mentions - loads of people who are abusive, invalidating, neglectful, are a factor actually causing BPD. Also, BPD has a lot in common with PTSD, but we never hear that people who have ptsd are abusive - they are given chances, empathy and understanding unlike people who have BPD who are treated like dirt even by mental health professionals. Even labelling people as 'borderlines' is detrimental - they HAVE borderline personality disorders, they ARE NOT that personality disorder. They're human with a disorder. A very serious one and the one with the highest number of suicide btw. No one calls people who have depression, anxiety or ptsd by the name of their affliction. We don't call them depressioners or anxietors. They are people who suffer from depression- almost no one talks like this about people who have bpd. And they developped this disorder by having unlucky genes and having caretakers who have neglected and/or abused them and yet they are treated with utter contempt and even abuse by the public, and they're labelled as abusive and cast aside without even having a chance to express who they are inside. This is shameful.
Maybe if people weren't half as judgemental and treated others with empathy and validation, there would be very few cases of bpd in the first place. To anyone who treat people who have bpd like their punching bags: Think on that and how you participate on abuse creating more suffering instead of practicing compassion and empathy which might actually help cure the people you hate so much.
Urgh you don't believe that stuff ... It doesn't affect you at all ..wonderful trick our minds can do
Or another option ...don't ever feel sad
To child- how do you know your parent has BPD? How do YOU know they didn't? SOOOOOOO INVALIDATING. DANG. WOW. Any sub can have little abbreviations or or shorts, jeez. Probably, the people who existed with borderline family members which didn't fall into an abusive spectrum wouldn't end up on the sub. LOL This is like characterizing a whole group by who takes the time to write bad reviews. GAH, elevate your game a little.
THANK YOU SO MUCH for pointing out that not ALL BORDERLINES are abusive douches ! I may have messed a few things up but my child KNOWS no one loves him more and I notice his mood fluctuations before he does and that's when I push ... And push until he lets it out
You sound exactly like my mother. You probably think that you’re some messiah for your son. I can say with 80% confidence - you are, or will become his worst nightmare. I worry for him. I wish I could save him. You guys are completely incapable of understanding. I pity your son. Get help. Please, get him as far away from you as possible. If you don’t want him to go through the immense pain that we have gone through. Let him get away from you. Remove yourself from his life. If he contacts you, feel free to speak. I was wrong, maybe, by some amazing feat, you aren’t evil - as is a characteristic of BPD. But see if he does, first. This is frightening to read.
@@scoutclapscheeks2203I agree 1000%.... "nO oNe LoVeS hIm MoRe ThAn ME ME ME" is such a red flag. Also violating his boundaries and dragging things out of him/pushing him until he does what YOU demand. Horrifying, boundary violating, inconsiderate and VERY entitled. This is my BPD mom and NPD father to a T. I have no contact with both, permanently.
Fine.... You actually understand it...why? Why do you get it like this...I mean all this took alot of time...
K...weird.... But doesn't matter are you a borderline?