The worst mega tank Germany ever designed - The P1000 Ratte

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ต.ค. 2021
  • Based on a true story, probably. Except in real life it was proposed in 1942, and loads of other different stuff happened. Anyway, we'd like to thank our sponsor Curve, check them out here: curvecard.sjv.io/c/2881877/10...
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  • เกม

ความคิดเห็น • 1.1K

  • @SquireComedy
    @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1267

    Thanks everyone for sharing this around, means a great deal. TH-cam these days probably doesn't look to kindly on this kind of content, so It's a real word of mouth game. Actually whilst I'm here, I'd like to take the opportunity to thank every single one of your for continuing to watch our stuff. It never ceases to amaze me, and I'm truly very grateful. Have a lovely week - Olly and Bill

    • @PotatoLover66
      @PotatoLover66 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Have a wonderful week yourself, Sir.

    • @rickoshay5525
      @rickoshay5525 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Upload to Rumble. You will find much more welcome there.

    • @slavvodkaman9359
      @slavvodkaman9359 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Have a good week TOVARISCH squire!

    • @youdontneedtoknow6621
      @youdontneedtoknow6621 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You rival black adder in historic comedy

    • @Bobalini1
      @Bobalini1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      gotta be honest m8, I'd quite literally NEVER heard of HoI4 OR your channel until a few days ago, but this must be 6th or so video I've watched already! I love how you incorporate true history references into the jokes despite HoI seemingly be a "build-your-own history" game and the props/costumes are ON POINT. Heck, the little details in the sound design are also impressive! Glad to see good humor with good quality. You guys are great actors, too! I know the whole "Brittish accent on a German character" is a running joke now, but the acting really sells it

  • @junkyardjoe1419
    @junkyardjoe1419 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3022

    I love how he argued back about the realism of the tank when he was just trying to buy time away from the front. A true nitpicker to the very end.

    • @fulcrum2951
      @fulcrum2951 2 ปีที่แล้ว +92

      I have a feeling most weapons designers in Germany during the war are doing that

    • @sleepyspartan1367
      @sleepyspartan1367 2 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      To be fair, what better way to buy time? Like instead of relying him coming up with ideas, just say "but the way there is an issue with that."

    • @deleteduser3455
      @deleteduser3455 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I like how he just leaves at the end

    • @jamesricker3997
      @jamesricker3997 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      That was the true purpose of Germany's wonder weapons.
      It prevented Irreplaceable engineers from being drafted, given a semi reliable Luger and trying to persuade the Soviets not to enter Germany

    • @andrustrei5548
      @andrustrei5548 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      And plus it was red army idea to but Bombardier on dogs now go learn history

  • @packee8052
    @packee8052 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2241

    "Could you make it go 180 degrees? "
    "Alright, we'll look into it."
    "Same, if all goes according to plan. "

    • @dakufaust
      @dakufaust 2 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      best line

    • @sicksixgamer2694
      @sicksixgamer2694 2 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Best line of the whole skit. Fucking genius writing.

    • @CAP198462
      @CAP198462 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      You know, I actually missed that one. One thing for it, watch the video again.

    • @ragerancher
      @ragerancher 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Missed that the first time :D

    • @cartercoffman1021
      @cartercoffman1021 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I missed that the first few times(every time until I saw this comment.).

  • @Prauwlet213
    @Prauwlet213 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2730

    "we've got no steel"
    literally my hoi4 experience

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +519

      Rubber for me. Gosh I love me those 109's.

    • @AlreadyTakenTag
      @AlreadyTakenTag 2 ปีที่แล้ว +127

      You guys have resources?
      Me and my zero resources as Yemen (don't ask how I got there) are jealous.
      I don't even have factories to use those any of those zero resources.

    • @kaltaron1284
      @kaltaron1284 2 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      @@AlreadyTakenTag At least nothing goes to waste.

    • @michazadkowski8516
      @michazadkowski8516 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Oil for me

    • @Prauwlet213
      @Prauwlet213 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      @@AlreadyTakenTag bro, as yemen i had to invade saudi arabia JUST SO I COULD GET FUEL.

  • @slicelikeice968
    @slicelikeice968 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1278

    “I have a bit of a loaded schedule”
    Please. Stop now. I can’t handle this…😂

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +239

      If you keep watching, we'll keep writing this krupp.

    • @EmbeddedWithin
      @EmbeddedWithin 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@SquireComedy I will squire i will

    • @stinkymonke3622
      @stinkymonke3622 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Dont worry, he'll stop soon

    • @Nerobyrne
      @Nerobyrne ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@stinkymonke3622 "please kill me"
      "Sorry, only got one bullet"

  • @slicelikeice968
    @slicelikeice968 2 ปีที่แล้ว +772

    “Did you bring the petrol?”
    Oh, so relatable

    • @josharmstrong8813
      @josharmstrong8813 2 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      The 1940s edition of did you bring the sugar

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +133

      We love an unintentionally topical joke.

    • @hermannabt8361
      @hermannabt8361 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      We've all been there.

    • @AdamTheVox
      @AdamTheVox 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Well, yeah, we all have been there.. thing is that uk is there right now :D hardly any fuel to be found

    • @itsjohndell
      @itsjohndell 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm a Yank but I got the reference, lol. Good one.

  • @kittenmittenkitten
    @kittenmittenkitten 2 ปีที่แล้ว +740

    "The Bismark? What a load of Krupp that turned out to be." deserves a like for that pun alone.

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +104

      Hahah!
      Sometimes, I don't know if they're funny or utterly rubbish. In this case, it was both.

    • @danielrobertson2154
      @danielrobertson2154 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@SquireComedy all the best ones are.

    • @WinOrBinGamingReviews
      @WinOrBinGamingReviews 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Loved that too. Very clever

    • @ukaszwalczak1154
      @ukaszwalczak1154 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      How ironic, he actually turned out BETTER then the Ratte.

    • @unclelarry8842
      @unclelarry8842 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lol imagine losing to a bunch of slow-ass outdated biplanes.

  • @nanolog522
    @nanolog522 2 ปีที่แล้ว +434

    „One ton for every year of the Reich!“
    „I thought you wanted a heavy tank?“
    Amazing.

    • @B-52H
      @B-52H 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      12 tons a pretty good light tank

  • @dclark142002
    @dclark142002 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1225

    As the P.1000 Ratte ground inexorably eastward, the crew wondered whether they were getting closer to Moscow...or if continental drift was moving them further away...

    • @TheArklyte
      @TheArklyte 2 ปีที่แล้ว +165

      "Hey, Ivan, wasn't that building on different side of the street last winter?"

    • @antongonist8294
      @antongonist8294 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      You do know Germany and Russia are on the same continental plate right?

    • @antongonist8294
      @antongonist8294 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @estadiofifa10lol 1 Yes a very poorly executed one.

    • @thepreacher7399
      @thepreacher7399 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@antongonist8294 It was executed well, you just aren't very bright.

    • @antongonist8294
      @antongonist8294 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@thepreacher7399 I am not very bright? But I am not the one who thinks the countries are on different plates.

  • @Gravity_studioss
    @Gravity_studioss 2 ปีที่แล้ว +658

    Amazing once again. The first 14 seconds had me laughing already

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +84

      Thank you very much, that means a great bloody deal.

    • @Gravity_studioss
      @Gravity_studioss 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@SquireComedy Your'e welcome!

  • @Mangos1021
    @Mangos1021 2 ปีที่แล้ว +120

    "Do you want an iron cross?"
    Accurately depicts Germany just giving out iron cross' like lollipops to a kid at a doctor appointment.

    • @shockwave6213
      @shockwave6213 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yeah, but look at the sheer number of Medals of Honor, Silver Stars and Bronze Stars we gave out in WW2.

    • @Aredel
      @Aredel ปีที่แล้ว +14

      ​@@shockwave6213 Quite frankly, every man who made the landing on D-Day deserves a Medal of Honor.

    • @mandowarrior123
      @mandowarrior123 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Aredel you're rather debasing the currency there.

  • @CharliMorganMusic
    @CharliMorganMusic 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1015

    "Designed" is a bad word. More than likely, it was some engineers memeing on Hitler's increasingly ridiculous wonder weapon demands. Like, "Bruh, look at this shit. It won't even move. Fifty bucks he wants it."

    • @Phantom-bh5ru
      @Phantom-bh5ru 2 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      its engine had enough horsepower to move at 40 kph

    • @no_4259
      @no_4259 2 ปีที่แล้ว +146

      It’s literally the equivalent of people making meme tanks in Sprocket.

    • @VineFynn
      @VineFynn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +101

      That or inventing reasons not to get conscripted

    • @martabakcoding7784
      @martabakcoding7784 2 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      @@VineFynn literally become an engineer without actually building a thing

    • @apex_blue
      @apex_blue 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      @@Phantom-bh5ru yeah but the engine is probably very unreliable and second and most important the transmission

  • @redshirt0479
    @redshirt0479 2 ปีที่แล้ว +548

    Always great to see one of these pop up
    "The guns of a heavy cruiser"
    Ooo, was that burn intentional? Calling the fast battleship _Gneisenau_ just a 'heavy cruiser' to make fun of her relatively small bore main guns...
    Talk about hitting below the armor belt.

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +133

      Haha, indeed. And nice.

    • @molybdaen11
      @molybdaen11 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Well, it was a battlecruiser. Designed more for speed then for armor.
      There were very few true battleships in WW2.

    • @IgnoredAdviceProductions
      @IgnoredAdviceProductions 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      @@molybdaen11 uh....wat? There were quite a few battleships, what are you talking about?

    • @molybdaen11
      @molybdaen11 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@IgnoredAdviceProductions By name maybe.
      But by design most of them followed the "speed is armor" doctrine.
      A true battleship would be able to take damage and cause damage likewise.
      Have you seen Drafniels channel? He goes into deep with this.

    • @IgnoredAdviceProductions
      @IgnoredAdviceProductions 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@molybdaen11 Fast battleships don't forego the armor though, but ok. Many treaty and post treaty battleships are better armored than their WW1 contemporaries. Your opinion on treaty and post-treaty battleships seems skewed.

  • @JP12345
    @JP12345 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1246

    "1 ton for every year of the Reich"
    "I thought you said you wanted a heavy tank"
    Better than all of comedy on Netflix

    • @Nerobyrne
      @Nerobyrne ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I see the Zippo tanks have arrived because he got majorly roasted

    • @tyrant-den884
      @tyrant-den884 ปีที่แล้ว

      I thought you were trying to give them a compliment.

  • @destroyer_fletcher7415
    @destroyer_fletcher7415 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    “The front line is up the stairs”
    That sounds like something I’d say during a Nerf Fight

  • @eduarddodu1973
    @eduarddodu1973 2 ปีที่แล้ว +221

    Squire your the best, your acting is incredibly good and the only TH-camr to make even sponsors worth watching, keep up the great work

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Thanks Klaus! Now...back to the front!

    • @rajko_
      @rajko_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mapman does great sponsor

  • @theraindog9141
    @theraindog9141 2 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    The "Blackadder Goes Forth" is strong in this one

  • @lunokhod3937
    @lunokhod3937 2 ปีที่แล้ว +346

    the jokes per minuite are almost as high as the rounds per minuite on the incoming red army's PPSHs

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +97

      You wait till our stockpile of puns runs dry. We'll be reduced to musket fire.

    • @Thecodytree
      @Thecodytree 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @@SquireComedy that’s still 2-3 per minute :D

    • @theflock4916
      @theflock4916 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      And the one scared SS Machinegunner on the MG42.

    • @the_inquisitive_inquisitor
      @the_inquisitive_inquisitor ปีที่แล้ว

      That's a lot of jokes!

  • @HunterKillerSub
    @HunterKillerSub 2 ปีที่แล้ว +95

    Love the fact that Generation war is in the background. Hilarious skit as usual 😂!

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Love the fact somebody got that.
      Such a brilliant series.

    • @Boragath123
      @Boragath123 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank god im not the only one

    • @eldorados_lost_searcher
      @eldorados_lost_searcher 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      THAT'S what was playing!? Fun bit of trivia, that.

  • @flamethrowerproductions123
    @flamethrowerproductions123 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    The fact that Squire and Bill can play different people in the same scene, but still be completely different people entirely speaks lengths of their acting abilities

  • @SJstackinbodys
    @SJstackinbodys 2 ปีที่แล้ว +356

    Germany makes mega tank
    Allied artillery: "FIRST ONE TO LAND TEN HITS GETS 10 BUUUCKS!!!"
    Allied air power: "WAIT I SAW IT FIRST I SAW IT FIRST"

    • @apex_blue
      @apex_blue 2 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      P-47’s: MINE MINE MINE…

    • @tanith117
      @tanith117 2 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      Allied Infantry: Wait for it... Wait for it... There! The Transmission broke, Charge!

    • @SJstackinbodys
      @SJstackinbodys 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@tanith117( for my origonal starwars battle front fans)
      The ratte: *drives 4 feet*
      The final drive: "although im leaving
      .........may the force be with you"

    • @zacklp3844
      @zacklp3844 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      B-17G: BOMBS AWAY!

    • @aguy7095
      @aguy7095 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      B-22 Superfortress with the Little Boy:
      Oops! Wrong country!
      Or was it... ?

  • @BubuchgaGaming
    @BubuchgaGaming 2 ปีที่แล้ว +163

    My favorite line was;
    “Can you make it go 180*s?”
    “Yea we’ll look into it.”
    “Same, if all goes according to plan.”
    Subtle yet hilarious 😂

    • @the_inquisitive_inquisitor
      @the_inquisitive_inquisitor ปีที่แล้ว

      Considering the sketch opened with him French kissing a PPK I don't think it's all that subtle...

  • @sheepwars2959
    @sheepwars2959 2 ปีที่แล้ว +161

    I have to say, this has to be one of your best written sketches. I don't think we ever had so many dark jokes. And ''See ya later ethnic hater'' had me laughing. Great job guys!

    • @babyyoda3497
      @babyyoda3497 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Maus is a scary name tho😂

    • @Whydidimakethisa
      @Whydidimakethisa ปีที่แล้ว

      I don’t know, naming your tank after a small rodent doesn’t seem menacing…
      How is this relevant to this comment exactly?

  • @Logarithm906
    @Logarithm906 2 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    My goodness you had some real gigglers in this one...
    "can you make it go 180 degrees?"
    "we'll look into it"
    "same! If all goes to plan"

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I could write village pantomimes at this rate.

    • @TheArgieH
      @TheArgieH 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@SquireComedy OH NO YOU COULDN'T!

  • @infamousfalcon588
    @infamousfalcon588 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    "Show-time", these ads are a skit worth watching by themselves. Even the ads continue into the next video! That's dedication right there. I really enjoy your videos!

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Thanks mate, that means a great deal.

  • @elevenseven9540
    @elevenseven9540 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Literally shooting themselves in the foot with those new downward facing barrels… next level humor!

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Hahah! Thanks dude!

    • @elevenseven9540
      @elevenseven9540 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Squire Thank you for the quality content good sir! Keep up the excellent work as always! Cheers!

    • @fiery_gamerz
      @fiery_gamerz ปีที่แล้ว

      I get the joke, but it was used to shoot around corners

    • @TheDennys21
      @TheDennys21 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      They were just beating around the bush, or shooting around it, that is.

  • @hi_-bz7wf
    @hi_-bz7wf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +153

    They should've just used Churchills. Nothing short of an is-2 could penetrate one and they would never get caught without infantry support because it couldn't outrun them.
    These videos are always entertaining thanks for taking the time to make them.

    • @truekhmer7292
      @truekhmer7292 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Pretty sure a:
      Panther
      Tiger
      88mm flak 36/37/41
      128mm flak
      75mm PaK 40/41/42
      128 PaK 44
      King Tiger
      Jagdtiger
      Nashorn
      Sturer Emil
      Dicker Max
      Waffentrager
      Brumbar
      Jagdpanther
      Elephant
      Maus
      Sturmtiger
      Could easily penetrate the Churchill’s armour form battle distance without too many issues, also I’m counting only the German side because if we consider all possible weapons, including planes, from all belligerents the list would be way too long.

    • @hi_-bz7wf
      @hi_-bz7wf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@truekhmer7292 I'm suggesting that the Germans should have used them.

    • @Charlietolemy
      @Charlietolemy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@hi_-bz7wf won't the soviet 122mm just go straight through though?
      The is-2, is-1, kv85, t-34 85, isu152 etc

    • @rebelgaming1.5.14
      @rebelgaming1.5.14 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@Charlietolemy They had a surprisingly bad Penetration capability due to their two-piece ammunition system. The IS-2 and its other variants with a 122mm gun were more used as support vehicles for infantry pushes, using High Explosive shells against fortifications and entrenched positions. Nothing really came of Anti-Armor capabilities until the 122mm D-25 came into service. The D-25 was used on Late-Production IS-2s, the IS-3, the ISU-122, and later the IS-8/T-10. The 130mm was the go-to AT gun for Russia in the late war however.

    • @hi_-bz7wf
      @hi_-bz7wf 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Charlietolemy That's why I said nothing short of an is-2 could penetrate it. The 152mm could probably penetrate it too.

  • @Sc0tt_e
    @Sc0tt_e 2 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Can we just appreciate how the sponsor sketches are actually worth watching

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Cheers for that, Scott.

    • @Sc0tt_e
      @Sc0tt_e 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@SquireComedy appreciate it sir

  • @roo1234
    @roo1234 2 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    World of Tanks should put the Ratte in the game for April Fools next year and have a massive battle between it and contemporary allied tank.

    • @molybdaen11
      @molybdaen11 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      As well as the entire air force i suppose .

    • @yosefvonhansom2921
      @yosefvonhansom2921 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That would've been better than that WT E-100 event

    • @VineFynn
      @VineFynn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Should be the target for an easy warthunder air mission

    • @fiery_gamerz
      @fiery_gamerz ปีที่แล้ว

      1 P1000 vs 3 KV6

  • @molybdaen11
    @molybdaen11 2 ปีที่แล้ว +129

    Actually, the sovjets experiemented with dogs as bombs.
    So far it worked, the dogs searched out the tanks and the bombs magnetic detonator worked too.
    Sadly they had no german tanks to train with, so the dogs searched for sovjet ones...
    The project was canceled.

    • @bthsr7113
      @bthsr7113 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I'll see your Soviet anti tank dogs and raise you American incendiary bats.

    • @zamecksaryja
      @zamecksaryja 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@bthsr7113 🤣🤣 the hangers on fire.

    • @user-xh9pu2wj6b
      @user-xh9pu2wj6b 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      According to some german reports and orders, these dogs actually worked sometimes. Tank crews were ordered to shoot any approaching dog because it was hard to spot if it has a bomb strapped on or not.

    • @molybdaen11
      @molybdaen11 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@user-xh9pu2wj6b Really now? That's new.
      I thought the only success with animals as weapons were the pigeons with hot coal on they tail.

    • @user-xh9pu2wj6b
      @user-xh9pu2wj6b 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@molybdaen11 they worked, but it wasn't really worth it considering possible friendly fire and the time it takes to train the dogs, compared to almost no results. During the entire battle of Kursk AT dogs only destroyed around 12 tanks(Zaloga, Steve. The Red Army of the Great Patriotic War, 1941-45. Oxford, UNITED KINGDOM: Osprey Publishing. 1989. pp. 43.)

  • @Big_E_Soul_Fragment
    @Big_E_Soul_Fragment 2 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    Ah yes, the Ratte. We we're so close in getting a real land battleship!

    • @Dreagostini
      @Dreagostini 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      *were
      And yes. Prime target for atillery spotters and aircraft. :D

    • @SJstackinbodys
      @SJstackinbodys 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Allied artillery: FIRST ONE TO LAND TEN SHELLS ON THE BIG SLOW DUMB TARGETS GETS TEN BUUCKS!!!

    • @Nachtsider
      @Nachtsider 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Dreagostini Indeed. A squadron of rocket-armed Hawker Typhoons or P-47 Thunderbolts would have turned that thing into scrap metal.

    • @Dreagostini
      @Dreagostini 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Nachtsider I'd like that.

    • @MrGMoney1944
      @MrGMoney1944 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Nachtsider No I'm sure the not 40mm AA defenses strapped to the top, the lack of a good radar, and the lack of a proximity fuse would have no impact of the effectiveness of the AA on top of the tank. I DARE SAY WE MASS PRODUCE THEM TO STEM THE ALLIED BOMBING CAMPAIGN!

  • @jaed64abfsm36
    @jaed64abfsm36 2 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    An inquisitive, muffled, _‘Come in?’_ Lolz.

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Hard to talk with a big barrel in your mouth.

    • @Jilve69
      @Jilve69 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@SquireComedy sure is, i have experience with these things

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Jilve69 Easy lads. Easy.

    • @eldorados_lost_searcher
      @eldorados_lost_searcher 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Wouldn't that be a "muzzled" 'Come in?'

    • @jediknight1294
      @jediknight1294 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SquireComedy 7.65 is a large calibre? That... explains a lot about Adolf

  • @tmatt7129
    @tmatt7129 2 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    Germany: So we're going to build the biggest scariest tanks the world will ever see
    Also Germany: Lets name them after tiny rodents.

  • @amig-2143
    @amig-2143 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    “Hans, we need better transmission!”
    “More armor, you say?”
    “Nien! better transmission!”
    “Bigger kannon, you say?”
    “Goddamnit Hans..”
    “Oh! Battleship kannon!”
    “Ja Hans….Ja.”

  • @Franktamas
    @Franktamas 2 ปีที่แล้ว +156

    History geek here:
    - The Ratte('s plan) is from 1942 summer.
    - Anti tank dogs were the soviets plan originally. They worked marvelously and destroyed nomerous T-34 tanks. (Yes their own.)
    - Cornershot firing weapons are still under development today.
    - The Me 163 Comet was the fastest and one of the most agile interceptor of the time, with a rate of climb value the couldn't be achieved even by most of the Korean War Jets. (Even early Vietnam.)
    - You need a tank ace? Otto Carius. He was nominated to be the leader of the first E-100 'squadron', and lived 'til 2015.
    - The Gneisenau was a Scharnhorst class battleship or battlecruiser and not a heavy cruiser.

    • @E.hexzor
      @E.hexzor 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      There was also the scharnhorst-class cruiser consisting of Scharnhorst and Gneisenau cruisers

    • @kaltaron1284
      @kaltaron1284 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Thanks for saving me the trouble.
      The Comet did have the problem that fuelling was dangerous and was only done directly before launch so reaction times weren't that good. And "landing" with fuel left wasn't recommended. Good thing it only had fuel for a few minutes. IIRC most of them were lost to either enemy ground attacks or technical failures. They were a cool concept but never had any great impact.
      The designation of the Scharnhorst is a bit difficult. It was intended to be a battleship with 38cm guns (some guns the Ratte was supposed to get) but only got 28cm guns which means that other navies regarded her as more of a battlecruiser. (That and her good speed.)
      And when it comes to stupid ideas the Monster tops the Ratte easily. I mean it's a Dora railway gun (remember 800mm gun) without the need for rails but horribly slow and would use up fuel like crazy.
      Both projects never went further than paper designs and sketches. The Nazis were crazy but not that crazy.
      We do have vehicles now that meet the dimensions of those vehicles like digging machines.

    • @karlgerat2731
      @karlgerat2731 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      The Comet is pretty fast...at killing the pilot...
      To be fair, the things got a damn rocket engine, so its pretty different from cold war era jets. Also, the range of Comet was utter garbage, and once you’re out of fuel, you’re essentially left with a glider, that has got to « land » on skids, without damaging itself. Also, building an aircraft with a rocket engine might have worked if it wasn’t put into combat in the very late war, when Germany was desperately out of fuel and running out of resources. Add dodgy construction and poor quality control, and you’ve got a questionable aircraft that was too little to late, and could do nothing to help shift the tide of Germany’s non existent air supremacy in 1945.
      Anyway, don’t take this too seriously. Cheers!

    • @GreyWolfLeaderTW
      @GreyWolfLeaderTW 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      The Scharnhorst-Class Warships don't really fit the definition of either Battleship or Battlecruiser. Their 11" guns straddled the line between 8" guns of Heavy Cruisers and the 14"-16" of proper Battleships.
      Yet they don't have the heavy guns of Battlecruisers, which were in line with Battleships, typically over 14" in size.
      Their max speed was more in line with Heavy Cruisers & Battlecruisers (over 30 knots) rather than Battleships (typically 30 knots and under).
      Yet their armor was ridiculously thick and strong for a Heavy Cruiser or Battlecruiser, up to 13.8" belt armor and 14" turret armor, which is more in light with proper battleships.
      The German classification for these oversized Heavy Cruisers was "Panzerschiff" (Armored Ship, similar to the older "Armored Cruiser" term for heavily armored Cruisers of the pre-Dreadnought era).

    • @kaltaron1284
      @kaltaron1284 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@GreyWolfLeaderTW I guess we can say that she was planned as a battleship (with proper 380mm guns) and turned out to be something else.

  • @BastuGubbar
    @BastuGubbar 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    ''alright we'll look into it''
    ''same, if all goes to plan''
    that is so genius it took me a while.

  • @joaoonda
    @joaoonda 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    "Oh, the Bismarck! What a lot of KRUPP that turned out to be!" Man, i Laughed so hard listening to that! :D

  • @nottherealpaulsmith
    @nottherealpaulsmith 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    "What's Michael Wittmann doing these days?"
    "He's been, uh, very dismantled..."
    Oof, that joke hurt more than the Sherman tank shell that one-shotted his Tiger.

  • @ResonantRTS
    @ResonantRTS 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    These are getting better and better

  • @MagicalGeekMV
    @MagicalGeekMV 2 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    I love how the red army soldier just accepts the pistol

    • @jediknight1294
      @jediknight1294 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Free ppk and honestly better than trying to find a mosin

    • @AKUJIVALDO
      @AKUJIVALDO ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah, not checking for wristwatch or pocket watch destroyed all immersion.

  • @highjumpstudios2384
    @highjumpstudios2384 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Squire acting as a very skittish fritz had me guessing if they'd finally gotten a third person to act.

  • @brandonk8948
    @brandonk8948 2 ปีที่แล้ว +153

    By the gods Squire, you invoke my inner ancestral roots every time I watch one of your cheeky British humor skits.
    Love from an American
    YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAW ;)

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Haha, nice.
      Thanks dude.

  • @benferris6472
    @benferris6472 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love the way they just hand random soldiers iron crosses when their nervous looking

  • @starvingpeoplecantcomplain
    @starvingpeoplecantcomplain ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The Anti-tank dogs where actually used by the Sovjets, and it turned out to be a blast for them.

    • @AKUJIVALDO
      @AKUJIVALDO ปีที่แล้ว

      They were hoisted up by their own petards LOL

  • @Dromaeosaurs
    @Dromaeosaurs 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    - "A ton for every year of the Reich!"
    - "I thought you said you wanted a heavy tank!"

  • @An_Cummanach
    @An_Cummanach 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    The ratte
    The perfect idea for a country that doesn't even have the supplies left to build a tiger.
    The oil left to run a car.
    A non existant airforce.
    The thing literally would have just been target practice for soviet, British and american bombers.

    • @footballbasketball182hi5
      @footballbasketball182hi5 ปีที่แล้ว

      No it would have won ww2 they had flak guns and they shoot down airplanes and they could destroy the red army get Russia and then take back france

    • @mandowarrior123
      @mandowarrior123 ปีที่แล้ว

      In 1942?

  • @elitely6748
    @elitely6748 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    ALl our dreams are for Squire to make a feature length historical comedy.
    Like Life of Brian or some Mel Gibson movie!

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Kickstarter project or what? :D

    • @wilberwhateley7569
      @wilberwhateley7569 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      A historical comedy about the the German-Soviet conflict? Sign me up!

  • @ProfessorPotatoPhD
    @ProfessorPotatoPhD 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    "It's just up the stairs, first door to your left"
    That exchange was glorious! Thank you guys for existing

  • @eldorados_lost_searcher
    @eldorados_lost_searcher 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The Iron Cross bit was hilarious to me, both as a consolation prize, and also demonstrating how common they became toward the end of the war.

    • @eldorados_lost_searcher
      @eldorados_lost_searcher 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Also a good way to cover up the fact that your cast is somewhat... limited.

    • @wilberwhateley7569
      @wilberwhateley7569 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Also fitting as the last time Hitler was seen in public he was handing them out to some volksturm defenders - mostly old guys and kids that were deluded enough to think they could take the Red Army in a straight-up fight.

    • @vasownedv1548
      @vasownedv1548 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@wilberwhateley7569 alot of germans where forced esp the kids

  • @102ndsmirnov7
    @102ndsmirnov7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    From the funny WT skits to proper Monty Python level. Lucky to have been there to witness it

  • @inisipisTV
    @inisipisTV 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This guy is such a great writer. Been reading "Mien Easy Time", an absolute page- turner.

  • @panzerkommandant4761
    @panzerkommandant4761 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    3:38 I was watching this video and I was so happy that they mentioned the most famous tank ace (micheal Wittmann) I thought I would never hear that name again I’m so happyyyy

  • @devinunderwood9535
    @devinunderwood9535 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    As a history teacher (and a time-to-time gamer) your videos are always a pleasure to watch. Your humour never fails to get a laugh from both me and my students as we pick out all of the references in each video. Keep up the fantastic work!

  • @thedoctorairsoft6813
    @thedoctorairsoft6813 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Fun fact that pistol is the Walther PPK, the same style of pistol Hitler used to kill himself with,
    True story

    • @molybdaen11
      @molybdaen11 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      They keep telling that, but is there any proof?
      I guess it would not matter anymore :)

    • @thedoctorairsoft6813
      @thedoctorairsoft6813 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@molybdaen11 Uh, He shot himself with a Walther PPK

    • @inisipisTV
      @inisipisTV 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@molybdaen11 - It is well known that Hitler have two Walther PPK as his personal side-arm. Hitlers personal body-guard who survived the war stated it in his memoirs as he enters Hitler's room one pistol is by the table in front of Eva Braun which she didn't use and one is by Hitler's hand.

  • @lsbc9666
    @lsbc9666 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "The enemy can't flank us If there are no roads to flank us on." genius level strats.

  • @daslynnter9841
    @daslynnter9841 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "Looking into it"
    "Strap our men to the bomb"
    "Causing quite a stir"
    "No more fuel so losses are down"
    Bro you cant have those back to back like that im dying

  • @MrJob91
    @MrJob91 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    wow the amount of effort and writing that must have gone into this. Great result dough!

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks, Job. They can take hundreds of man hours, but It's a laugh. :)

  • @paddary5471
    @paddary5471 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The 'Allo Allo' reference was perfect to see. Good old Officer Crabtree

  • @EzioAuditore
    @EzioAuditore ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Imagine having to drive that thing all the way to stalingrad just to have it completely break down 50 miles from the city and in 1946

  • @reginaldscot165
    @reginaldscot165 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is easily the best and funniest video you guys have done so far. Well done on the constant improvement! Congratulations and keep it up! 😁

  • @mrcrunchies8688
    @mrcrunchies8688 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Woah! They designed a tank based off your mom dude. That's impressive

  • @inasapostle13thapostleofthe12
    @inasapostle13thapostleofthe12 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Brilliant as always xD

  • @Sosig593
    @Sosig593 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    this is one of my absolute favourite if not my absolute favourite Squire skit, it's so good

  • @Dargesh890
    @Dargesh890 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    So many great puns in this. You guys keep coming up with the best stuff

  • @teslo8020
    @teslo8020 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Wow. Your sketches have gone from good to great over this (wow, year or two of them?????). I can’t support with money, but I want you to know these really make my day. o7

  • @CygnusTheSilly
    @CygnusTheSilly 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    It hasn't even been a month since the last upload
    Now the question is what thing replaced Squire and when

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      There's something wrong.

  • @Tanker000
    @Tanker000 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    P-1000 "transmission brakes with one move"

  • @arned432
    @arned432 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The Me 163 (airplane on board) was powered by ROCKED and actually made the pilots look like a space crew (or blast furnace operator) but is still made and operated.

  • @harrydarwin1874
    @harrydarwin1874 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Did you….. did you say ‘what a load of Krupp that turned out to be!’ 😂😂😂
    Love it!

  • @RorieMcGuffie
    @RorieMcGuffie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The muffled come in, perfection

  • @bigboyridin3974
    @bigboyridin3974 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    2:03 This is why I love squire, the most genius joke i’ve ever seen, and so cleverly understated. Keep up the good work lad, from an old subject! 🇨🇦

  • @mr.admr1016
    @mr.admr1016 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You know that its a Squire video when it makes you laugh out loud in the first 5 seconds without saying any words, amazing job as always m8 :)

  • @GaldirEonai
    @GaldirEonai 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "See you later, ethnic hater" broke me.

    • @Mangos1021
      @Mangos1021 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah my favorite one

  • @Adlumairsoft
    @Adlumairsoft 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    last time i checked the soviets tried the antitank suicide dog... with desaster at that due to them being traind with Diesel tanks and the german tanks all had petrol engines so yeah... Doggo did a 180° into thier own lines and caused "red on red"

    • @shadowlord1418
      @shadowlord1418 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Teach them for being so mean to dogs

    • @ericferguson9989
      @ericferguson9989 ปีที่แล้ว

      The British experimented with trained sea lions against U Boats. They tossed fish from the decks of submarines. Turns out the sea lions developed a preference for British submersibles ( no doubt after trying to get fish from a U Boat only to be told "Verpiss Haupt.")

  • @Bobalini1
    @Bobalini1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    6:20 "Woow... you're crazy...." "...what?"
    The suddenly laxed delivery of the "what" really gets me here

  • @VayleGW
    @VayleGW 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    one of the best things about Squire is that the sponsor "ads" are just as entertaining as the actual video.

  • @OlmoVonHabsurg
    @OlmoVonHabsurg 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you for uploading, making Mondays more bearable :)

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for watching mate, It's our pleasure.

  • @slicelikeice968
    @slicelikeice968 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Perfection as always. A bloody fine show I say.

  • @slayergames2690
    @slayergames2690 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This so amazing I love all the subtle references man thanks for making morning.

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for watching matey, our pleasure.

  • @erkkimustajarvi7391
    @erkkimustajarvi7391 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Honestly the best part of your videos are the end bits

  • @TheSgruby
    @TheSgruby 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    That's how German tank program looks according to memories of German generals. Franz Halder would be proud :P.

  • @goldgamercommenting2990
    @goldgamercommenting2990 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Squire there is a mod on war thunder that has the landkruiser p.1000 ratte tank that you can play as
    It’s really effective in battle

    • @sergeantsharkseant
      @sergeantsharkseant 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Mostly because Artillerie in the arguably meaning isn’t really in the game

    • @goldgamercommenting2990
      @goldgamercommenting2990 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@sergeantsharkseant it’s not available in pvp games
      Only in Scenarios so… yeah
      At least it’s op as hell
      Also I’m talking about a mod so do agree without mods, it’s not in the game

  • @connorshira5245
    @connorshira5245 ปีที่แล้ว

    Always love finding videos I haven't seen yet

  • @grantt1589
    @grantt1589 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Tank design team: Mien furer, how big do you want to build this new tank.
    Hitler: yes

  • @hansmeier3530
    @hansmeier3530 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Did you really use a voiceline of the sergeant from Generation war (when they try to capture a soviet mg position) for your clip?…I AL LOVING IT

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yep. Great series, that.

  • @bankerduck4925
    @bankerduck4925 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The jokes in this are wonderfully smart. Really amazing video!

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks mate, bloody glad you think so!

  • @aliberkozderya3112
    @aliberkozderya3112 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I feel like I only get half of the jokes in these videos but still always have a good time watching squire

  • @Lichcrafter
    @Lichcrafter 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "See you later, ethnic hater"
    I'm dying.

  • @SonsOfLorgar
    @SonsOfLorgar 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Ummm, about that steel, I'm afraid we made ball bearings out of most of it and sold it all to the Tommies and Yanks when you stopped paying in gold, also, why did some of the bullion have teeth in them?
    -Some Swedish diplomat probably...

  • @specialone3046
    @specialone3046 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The best TH-camr in the history of TH-cam

  • @JW-zx5dr
    @JW-zx5dr 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is gold, well done once again Squire.
    1:03 cracked me up

  • @fredo0084
    @fredo0084 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Well well look who is back glad you are back man

  • @maleforfromlegendofspyro8256
    @maleforfromlegendofspyro8256 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This channel makes the funniest history videos change my mind.

  • @tnt2835
    @tnt2835 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    were do you get the uniforms from?

  • @jonathans.955
    @jonathans.955 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I always share these videos with my friends and they are always glad I brought them back here

  • @andyandreson3989
    @andyandreson3989 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Still the best advertisements out there. Great work yet again!

  • @MausOfTheHouse
    @MausOfTheHouse 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    You're incorrect. I am the worst tank.

    • @SquireComedy
      @SquireComedy  2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Let me guess, you want your own video?

    • @naveednawwaf
      @naveednawwaf 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      hah, don't drop your hopes. You remember "How British won the war"?

    • @MausOfTheHouse
      @MausOfTheHouse 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@SquireComedy I was going to talk you into it, but yes, that's correct.

  • @olimara1647
    @olimara1647 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Not only was the rocket interceptor explosive, the fuel was also corrosive and had to be contained in easily broken glass pipes! Many pilots were reduced to a soup like homogenate.

  • @bingusbinted2203
    @bingusbinted2203 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    almost at 555k subs keep up the goodwork!

  • @PitchBlackYeti
    @PitchBlackYeti ปีที่แล้ว

    "We'll look into it"
    "SAME!"
    hilarious :D