THEY LEFT? This Reaction Makes Them Fight For You!

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 727

  • @AaronDoughty44
    @AaronDoughty44  2 ปีที่แล้ว +106

    hey everyone! if you're ready to remove love blocks and become more magnetic, join the Magnetic Love Challenge here: ➡️ bit.ly/Magnetic-Love

    • @mi-la11
      @mi-la11 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      In right time 😍❤

    • @shog369
      @shog369 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      الحب الحقيقي يبقي مهما يمر عليه أزمات والحب المزيف يختفي مع أول محنة

    • @ethanconrad4488
      @ethanconrad4488 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      My heart hurts to see how so many people, also spiritual people, fall for EI0n clone now! We were in the 4th dimension in 2021 and they all attacked us with frequencies. It hurts my heart to see that I came back only because I want to accompany the people and starseeds out of the matrix. Lord Ashtar, the Draco hologram, told me that EI0n is their last hope! The dark ET's told me last year that they offered him a lot of money and power! See what is going on! He changed completely into darkness again!
      Marcel, I and a few other starseeds almost died because of this fake A.I. technology (yes, even the good EI0n belongs to it) is that not still proof enough!!!?! Should I almost die again so that even the starseeds finally understand what's going on?! I cried so hard these last days and they shot me these frequencies into my body. I know what they want from me now.They want to separate me from my twin flame. I had visions yesterday and they pulled us into a parallel matrix again....it was astral. They killed Marcel! I was alone with them and they all tried to abuse me! It was disgusting and awful!

    • @randomchannel83838
      @randomchannel83838 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Love for me felt like longing and yearning with emptiness and lack and sorrow- which turned into self loathing 💔❤️‍🩹every day is a healing day - thank you for all the clarity and guidance 🤲

    • @shog369
      @shog369 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@randomchannel83838 🌹❤️القلوب النقية تستحق الأفضل دائما مباركة روحك الطيبة 💚

  • @karend5327
    @karend5327 2 ปีที่แล้ว +960

    You explain in 15 minutes what a counsellor cannot achieve with hours of expensive therapy. You make it simple to understand and implement. Thank you young man, you deserve to be successful. Blessings, Karen, UK 🌸

  • @mallorywho144
    @mallorywho144 2 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    “Imagine feeing worthy, whole and complete on the inside.” That hit me right in the solar plexus.

  • @malcolmnicoll1165
    @malcolmnicoll1165 2 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    “It’s not your fault, son.”
    - Good Will Hunting

  • @nickf9392
    @nickf9392 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    If someone left you after they know how you feel and where you stand...and they left anyway....you don't want that back, let them go.

    • @JJDK485
      @JJDK485 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      You don't want them back, but it doesn't hurt making them want you and not be able to have you. 😅😅😅

    • @tc8993
      @tc8993 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yep. 100%. They're leaving is the closure!
      So don't open the close your back up again when they pop up!

  • @judybw706
    @judybw706 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    😢 if you love someone, set them free. If they come back they are yours, if they don’t they never were.

  • @gracielou_flattbush22
    @gracielou_flattbush22 ปีที่แล้ว +153

    I laugh because you pretty much described my situation. I’m the anxious one who’s been obsessed and head over heels for someone who is the avoidant. I’ve been wanting so badly to be with this person but they’ve been hot and cold. One moment saying they’re always thinking about me then the next they say they’re not ready for a committed relationship. This makes perfect sense! Thank you!!!

    • @nikolagacic8854
      @nikolagacic8854 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      what happened at the end?

    • @gracielou_flattbush22
      @gracielou_flattbush22 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @@nikolagacic8854 I let them go because I tried to confront them and they lied and said they were sorry and would do better but didn’t. It’s disappointing but you gotta let them go to figure their lives out.

    • @Beth1300
      @Beth1300 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ​@@gracielou_flattbush22 how did you stop being so anxious and feeling you needed them, so you felt able to let them go?

    • @sparks6477
      @sparks6477 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Dated an avoid for 4 years, most of the time she was great but suddenly she would run away from commitment like other friends, normally when she was busy or thought a form of trust was broken. She went to college and said she could not handle the commitment and broke up with me, I tried to talk to her for a month because we agreed to be on semi contact but she got overwhelmed and told me do not contact her at all anymore she sees no future with me. But she did not block me on anything, she would block people often when she was done with them. Im working on myself in this no contact and learning to pour that passion I had for her into myself and my projects/school. In this moment I do hope she reaches out to me at some point but I do not expect it

    • @ojasvitaak7344
      @ojasvitaak7344 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @sparks6477 feel you mate, on the same boat

  • @celestenova338
    @celestenova338 2 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    My ex left because of my fear and anxiety. My vibrations were low, I was down on my luck in life overall. I really need to get back to me and into my own frame 🙏🏻

    • @katiasoulakou1733
      @katiasoulakou1733 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Same here sister. We need to let go and be better for us. If they still love us they will feel the change of energy and they might reconsider.

    • @elonabino2000
      @elonabino2000 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Hey ❤ , did he came back ?

  • @iamgoddessoflove
    @iamgoddessoflove 2 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    Take time to heal from a breakup! Rushing into a relationship will only lead to more pain and heartache because you may not be ready yet. Healing is a process! Processing those emotions, doing your shadow work and falling in love with yourself again, will take you one step closer to attracting a healthy relationship that you deserve.
    💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

  • @5dalice
    @5dalice 2 ปีที่แล้ว +171

    My dad left our family when I was 6 and never came back. My biggest fear in relationships are that people are going to leave me sooner or later…. Thank you so much for this video Aaron. 🙏🏻

    • @baldrthebraveandnursechris7346
      @baldrthebraveandnursechris7346 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Same happened to me

    • @coolspider6460
      @coolspider6460 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Same here

    • @alanzo428
      @alanzo428 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Exactly. That's what causes a my breakups

    • @GR-bn3xj
      @GR-bn3xj ปีที่แล้ว

      Sometimes the mom keeps the dad from seeing their children. May not be the case with you, but my ex wife has tried to make sure I see my kids as little as possible. It's not always the dads choice

    • @katizig
      @katizig 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same.

  • @M3lloiuse
    @M3lloiuse 2 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    Let me them go . If they truly loved you they would never of left . You cannot change a persons mind that’s freaky . Wish them well and move on !

  • @marcellejane2298
    @marcellejane2298 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    When someone really cares about getting to know you the reality is its not going to be hard they arnt going to turn their back on you and wont let you slip away. If they do it's for the best they had nothing genuine to offer. I'm old school, I like a man to step up and ask me out it shows me his brave and willing to fight for a connection.

  • @GamingCanBeFun
    @GamingCanBeFun ปีที่แล้ว +13

    This doesn't mean u can't manifest someone who left u back... it just means u need to figure out a way to stop thinking, worrying n being needy over them throughout the day. U can still manifest ur thoughts of them every single day 1 or even 2 times a day. By the way, I have the Anxious Attachment I'm working to heal

  • @westcoastorbust2462
    @westcoastorbust2462 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Whenever I wanted someone back, there was nothing I could ever do to attract them back. It’s when I don’t want them that I can’t get them to go away.

  • @AK-us5rw
    @AK-us5rw 2 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    It’s true our energy makes a difference. So many people have had emotionally unavailable early childhood attachments. So we put our energy out there like “love me, look at me, validate me, see I’m good enough, pick me” unconsciously of course. And that energy is lacking centered wholenesses and others unconsciously feel that and are repelled

    • @AK-us5rw
      @AK-us5rw 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      It’s also true that those with poor attachment (external seeking) will not be attracted to those that really are emotionally unavailable.

    • @eddieo315
      @eddieo315 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This .. this spoke to me man 💔

  • @celissewillis9399
    @celissewillis9399 2 ปีที่แล้ว +139

    I’ve been teaching my 13 year old son not to internalize things & helping him understand how important that is.
    Also, internalizing tends to run more rampant, when we are in the mindset of needing closure - as you mentioned, rooted in childhood experiences - & haven’t learned to accept that closure will not always be a part of life. Not everyone will give you the VALIDATION that you THINK you want/need by giving you closure. Sometimes, closure, or the need for it, just creates more confusion than peace. For example, if you’re dealing with someone of the narcissistic spectrum, closure will not necessarily be a thing with those connections, because THEY don’t feel like it’s necessary to give. No explanation, no reason. It’s a huge lesson in learning to love yourSelf more & not expecting that other people will fill your cup for you, in whatever way you think you need it filled by someone else, to feel good about yourSelf.

    • @benlancer6650
      @benlancer6650 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I wish someone taught me ,good 4 you

    • @tc8993
      @tc8993 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I agree with your comment completely. I am 53, and it took me 47 years to learn that closure, and the way that I expected /wanted/attempted/ needed it to be, like many people, was really a myth / fantasy. Because it was external / other focused. And then it hit me: CLOSURE IS SOMETHING I GIVE MYSELF. And it's something only I can give. So, the last significant relationship that ended for me, when the person just vanished. While very very painful and I had to process, I realized and just knew: "well, her leaving, especially like that - instantaneously, silently, thus inherently disrespectfully - WAS THE CLOSURE! The actor her leaving in and of itself was closer. But I decided that second, this is closed. This is my closure. Ironically, like many people who are selfish and have their own challenges that they never address, she popped up a month and then 6 months later. But because that was already closed, I never replied. And by the way, what kind of closure could a person like that, who would just leave like that, give me, anyway? Because actions speak far louder than hollow words. Anyway I got it on a tangent here. But I 100% agree with your comment completely. Thank you! TC Seattle Washington

  • @AK-us5rw
    @AK-us5rw 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    The way to get anyone back is to get back to yourself. But if they “come back” do you really want someone that pulled away? No because it reveals to you what you actually want to receive…. And it’s not someone unclear or not whole with THEMself

  • @antoniobortoni
    @antoniobortoni 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    Resign, let it go, be free from believing fake stuff, and suffer because of that, you suffer because you believe something you are not, but what you really are is beautiful and complete, easy, free, limitless...
    So believe there are other people that love you just because you and that life could be easy and good and it will be like that.
    But if you believe you need to win the other person and is a job or hard it will be like that.
    Freedom comes by being humble, simple, easy, and authentic.

  • @PoemsfromParis
    @PoemsfromParis 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I never realised how much I felt like it was my fault that my parents didn’t show me love and affection, I’ve felt weird and different my whole life, I felt like no one could love me because how could I be lovable if my own parents didn’t love me, but it’s not my fault that they didn’t, it’s nothing I did, I’m a normal person and I am deserving and worthy of love. I feel like I’ve released this huge weight I’ve been carrying for years so thank you ❤️

    • @OMNala
      @OMNala 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Beautiful share!!! Keep going in self love ✨💕

    • @anndavis2920
      @anndavis2920 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      same here w/me. ty

  • @TheAsianWanderer333
    @TheAsianWanderer333 2 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    People from my past (over 10 years ago) came back now that I understand how energy/vibration works though I am still continuously learning it. Makes me more believe that time is really an illusion. As I connect the dots, I realized that everything I went through in the past, people I have met, minor and major events of my life and desires I had and still have (some) were all connected to my present and I believe so to my destiny (all for my highest good). From the smallest to major details, it all now make sense! I believe that this video has reached me for a reason. Thank you Aaron! Sending love energy and positive vibes to everyone who gets to read this.

    • @anisboutaoui1238
      @anisboutaoui1238 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      it's funny how people disappear and then come back like nothing happened

    • @Tomer4love
      @Tomer4love 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you. I rade your comment and I am now feeling better. This video is true gold. I am broken hearted but I am trying to look at this as logical ! Not an emotional thing. I put my vibration high and write down that we are together and I am thankful for this. My expectation is that will really reflect my reality 🙏

  • @mermaid2997
    @mermaid2997 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    I love how you explain this - it is so empowering and healing when you realize that you need to invest in yourself and your heart💖 people will stay in your life if they are meant to....releasing is the most freeing feeling💗 thank you Aaron!

  • @russgrimes5531
    @russgrimes5531 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Forgot disorganized attachment. It’s both avoidant and anxious. For me it’s mostly avoidant with 99% of people but specific people somehow break through and it gives me an anxious attachment to them. I was completely blind to it for a really long time but now I am more aware and can manage it when I am feeling it. Avoidant is harder to see but anxious is harder to manage.
    You are one of my favorite channels and we have similar stories. It’s helped me see some blind spots within myself. Thank you, Aaron.

    • @russgrimes5531
      @russgrimes5531 ปีที่แล้ว

      Found my way to this information because I thought I met my twin flame. Became obsessed. It was a path to seeing and healing childhood trauma. I still feel like I have more to go but only time will tell

    • @rosestewart1606
      @rosestewart1606 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      me as well. I found out about attachment styles because I was trying to understand why he did the things that he did. I realized we were both disorganized, which could work but it would take some work...

    • @amytaddei8170
      @amytaddei8170 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I have disorganized attachment with my romantic relationships only. I've been working on changing my attachment style and have been able to improve and heal all my other relationships. The romantic relationship dynamic is going to take a much longer time to get to secure.

  • @melaniesmith2261
    @melaniesmith2261 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    You’ve hit the nail on the head, I poured my energy into writing my book, my self love and healed my own trauma. You’re great

  • @vannamich79
    @vannamich79 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    You are AWESOME!! I recalled my power and my energy back to me and focusing on me for myself and my significant other came back last night. I saw your videos and applied them not to manipulate but for my own good and he came back without I expecting it. This really works and I’m learning to take care of my energy. By the way my partner is really proud, but energy is more powerful.

  • @starlamonet4565
    @starlamonet4565 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I have been trying to understand why people just leave . No explanation 😭.. I was meant to hear this.. my mom was never around. She would come around and then leave for years with out speaking calling nothing from birth until I was 18 years old... 🤔🤔🤔 So this is why people walk away from me I am playing the scene of my mother with everyone

    • @m998hmmwv7
      @m998hmmwv7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You are attracting the wrong people because somewhere you are showing your soft caring side and narcissist pick up on that. What they are doing to you is called ghosting. Leaving without a trace or reason and that is the trait of the narcissist.

    • @elanaamyre
      @elanaamyre 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wish you better. 🙏

    • @sulviagania5665
      @sulviagania5665 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Most cases this has nothing to do with you....

    • @hollybly1386
      @hollybly1386 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      This is so powerful for you to realize!

    • @danielbrown8602
      @danielbrown8602 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      We have a lot in common.

  • @abdul.arif2000
    @abdul.arif2000 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    0:45 if they leave just know that it isn’t your fault. Even if you did things to mess up, that’s OK you learn from them and next time you can do better. But they didn’t communicate and try to make it work so that’s not on you. You are more than good enough. You need to pull your energy back. When we feel someone leaving what we tend to do is projected energy at them and start focussing on them and they feel this and start getting repelled.
    4:00 the more you try to make them like you, the more weird, needy you will be and repel them. But the less attached you are to whether they like you or not the more you can be yourself and they will like you
    4:50 there is an attachment to outcome. But letting go of what happens with the outcome create a sense of freedom and allowing. U don’t need them to fight for u. Secure attachment give and receive love easily. Avoidant attachment style find more safety in leaning back. Anxious attachment lean in and try to fix lean in for their validation and affection. You need someone and will be in your head about it, want them to text you back. Secure attachment as you stand firm and don’t need their validation or affection
    7:50 a trait of anxious attachment style is leaning in and trying to fix things. For me, I tried to fix things because I felt honorbound too and I also felt I would learn a lot by trying different things in order to fix the relationship. But it was just hell on earth and I know for next time to just leave it and let it go throughout the relationship. I was pretty non-needy as I enjoyed our time apart because I could do my own things. I didn’t really care whether or not they text me fast, although it was pleasant when they did, but I didn’t really like to text too often because I didn’t want to prioritize them too much in my life, and that kept me more centred and gave me more energy to keep improving my own life. But now I will move back into a secure attachment style and love freely and allow others to come and leave from my life and not fight for them if they aren’t wanting to fight for me. 9:25 The anxious and avoidant attachment styles aren’t you. Remove your identity from them. They’re just patterns that you can change. I was lightly dabbling in some anxious attachment behaviors, but now I am letting go again. And before I was dabbling in a lot of avoidant attachment behaviours as well, so we are always changing and learning to love better.
    9:45 the avoidant realizes that no one is going to meet their needs so they meet their own needs
    10:15 it’s not your fault you are worthy for just being you. Maybe it’s just not the right relationship and you guys are not meant to be together
    11:10 the anxious attachment style is scared of rejection. Do not leave me because if you leave me, then that means I’m not good enough. It’s if ur fault or their fault. Let them go, and it increases the chance of them coming back. Focus on your own projects and having fun with your friends. And because they pull their energy back into themselves instead of focussing on trying to get their ex back, they focussed on their life. They went from that anxious, neediness to that secure I fill my own cup. I have my own ecosystem of friends and I feel good.
    11:45 he seen this work so many times! The way to get anyone back is to let them go. Most likely they are feeling like they are getting smothered, and that you want too much from them. And they are feeling pressured and so they’re back up. And when you let them go and focus on your own life, he gives them space and allows them to come back. He’s seen so many times that friends that can’t get over their exes start finally, letting them go and going out with their friends, focussing on a passion project. And then their ex comes back into their lives. You let go of that needy, anxious attachment, and become secure that you have your own ecosystems of friends and are happy independently in your own life. You change your state you change how you feel about yourself in your life. You are worthy. And the way to change how you feel it to let go of your ex. And know, that it’s not your fault. Accept it, let it go and allow yourself to be in your reality and be in your own frame and realize that it’s not your fault.
    15:00 imagine you not pushing away love and neither are you needing it, you are firm in your own sense of self-worth and self-love. Feel worthy and complete inside and having that magnetic energy. Go out with friends and have fun and you feel the energy move inside u like crazy and you become more magnetic.

  • @robinsierra1029
    @robinsierra1029 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I left because of his dysfunctional life that kept me separate. But I still long for him.

    • @lindseykingery9530
      @lindseykingery9530 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      me too :((((

    • @kunal_k_
      @kunal_k_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Ever considered having a heart to heart tete-a-tete with him.. Maybe things aren't as complicated and changes are anyway eternal part of life, growth and learning.. Various perspectives and possibilities thereof, matters 🎀

  • @shadyqaddoura3451
    @shadyqaddoura3451 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    If they asked me to rate this video, I'd give it the top spot on TH-cam. I'm amazed at how you achieved and delivered such clear ideas in 15 minutes. Thank you so much. You are the best.

  • @lisegittens7790
    @lisegittens7790 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    You may even entertain imaginal acts of that person being with you. It's really about soothing yourself and feeding that gaping wound for yourself. It feels so good to affirm yourself while reminding yourself that you are worthy. It’s as if the person's leaving or ignoring you becomes a gift that turned you inward.
    I had an experience where I was triggered by the no response of someone. Weeks later, I realized that they did respond, but the email was in my spam. I had soothed myself through the triggers and forgotten about it. Voila, they did respond. These experiences are just opportunities for growth and healing.

  • @Alaska_Gal
    @Alaska_Gal 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    This was my response to my ex 3 years ago…
    “Ok…I hope you find happiness & I wish you the best”.
    That’s it. I never tried calling or texting him. HE ended up contacting me several times & I never answered/replied. It was hard, but it also felt GREAT taking my power back.

  • @amitylark4204
    @amitylark4204 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Tried and true. Thing is, although this works (it is law), by the time they come back to you, you’ve outgrown them physically, mentally, and spiritually, and man! that is FREEDOM.

  • @roseleroux7756
    @roseleroux7756 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    You have helped me change my life! I was always looking for validation in my marriage but what i needed was my own validation!! Thank you for this and all your amazing videos!! I have become aware of how my own insecurities has sabotaged my relationships! ❤️

  • @13LesTadO13
    @13LesTadO13 2 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    I think it's important to point out the fearful avoidant which is like someone go goes back and forth between anxious and avoidant because they get caught in their own push-pull cycle of fear.

  • @mrsherwood2599
    @mrsherwood2599 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Yeah, I get all of this. I started with the needy with my ex when we were together and she started manipulating me. she shamed me and lost attraction. She actually used to lecture me about being "unattached to outcomes". it was cult level creepy. Being attached to outcomes is why we have skyscrapers, antibiotics and...people.
    so yeah, I unattached. And yeah, it reattracted her. But...I was unattached, you see? So now she's alone, sad and bitter and I'm alone and feeling what the hell. What a waste.
    No attachment, no outcome. Reality.
    STOP shaming people for wanting things. Stop it.
    And stop it with that fucking word, "needy". It's shaming, under nuanced, judgemental and shaming. People who want things aren't pathological. People who don't are.

  • @lamaelcharif1523
    @lamaelcharif1523 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    You are right Aaron! I remember as a kid, when my parents used to have disagreements, I always internalized it.
    I used to think, they are stressed out, if i only did more house chores, they'd be more relaxed.

  • @nattyk3737
    @nattyk3737 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    Easier said than done when you can’t bear to imagine your life without them

    • @josephkush1032
      @josephkush1032 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I lost someone who I always felt was my soul mate. Then I realized that if they were able to leave so easily, then they never were meant for me

    • @nm9412
      @nm9412 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      You trust them to come back

  • @dennisambeyi595
    @dennisambeyi595 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I don't know why this is free, all I can say is thank you for explaining it better. Knowledge is power.

  • @johnfeminella9839
    @johnfeminella9839 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    So true! I'm going though this now and it's hard.. I've held in so much to begin to explain but the more I'm in my own space focused on me and controlling me the better response I get. Crazy! Your awesome dude thanks.

  • @lisvendi506
    @lisvendi506 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    You know what I love the most about your videos is that you never contradict yourself. All the videos are exactly on point & all make sense & you explain them differently but always the same message. Thank you Aaron.

    • @lisvendi506
      @lisvendi506 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Greg kane awesome, I’m trying to just fully let go.

  • @deanjelcic9299
    @deanjelcic9299 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It is true…every word.
    When you couldnt care less you become like s magnet 😂
    When I start to care its finished hshshs

  • @surrealfeline
    @surrealfeline 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    What's interesting is I think I've shifted from being an anxious type to a new developing avoidant style... after my DA of 7 years abandoned/discarded me a year ago and it has been the most painful, horrifying year of my life ever since. Now I feel like I never want to be close to anyone again, definitely won't be 'leaning in' like an anxious type ever again.

  • @Noob-ee2cy
    @Noob-ee2cy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    Wanting validation from others...I think it’s about finding a self practice to give your own validation. Can feel weird giving it to yourself cause it’s like you’ve devalued your own opinion of yourself over a period of time. Give it time commit to a self practice and disconnect from the childhood attachment to unavailable people.

  • @MsShazzy14
    @MsShazzy14 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    So needed to hear this right now, thank you Aaron XX

  • @lovingtheuniverse7927
    @lovingtheuniverse7927 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I am just now starting to learn about this attachment style stuff and it really makes sense to me. I think I’m a fearful attachment style and my boyfriend who I live with is an avoidant. He’s always disconnecting and I’m always so crushed and hurt and I feel so abandoned when he does that. Every time I pull myself back together and start to detach emotionally from him he starts to come close again. It’s a crazy vicious cycle and I’m trying to master this. It’s so hard. I have to constantly remember that I’m like that and that he’s like that or I take stuff too personally and act foolish in front of his kids. My goal is to never let my guard down again and to permanently detach from the outcome of being secure with him so that I can change 😔
    Thank you for your wisdom

    • @bluanemoon
      @bluanemoon 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I feel you 🥹❤️ sounds so familiar

    • @yosamess
      @yosamess 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      My relationship was exactly the same for 1.5 yrs ...an absolute roller coaster emotionally. He just dumped me :(
      My worst fear came true :(

    • @GR-bn3xj
      @GR-bn3xj ปีที่แล้ว

      Props to you for understanding and working on it. I had an avoidant who was clueless she was avoidant, and thus it made it very hard to work on the relationship.

    • @mstwilight1612
      @mstwilight1612 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You might end up with anxiety disorder like I did. He dumped me after his therapist session, saying he has worked his cold mother issues with me. What the hell. Devalued me absolutely.hate him deeply

  • @Richie131hun
    @Richie131hun 2 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    I've done all the inner work you mention (stopped chasing, being desperate, focusing on myself, passion, business), but I came to realize, for me, the advice doesn't really work. Yes, with regular relationships this is definitely the way to go. But a (real) twin flame is someone you cannot forget, not even after years, especially if the separation was brutal. I came to realize that in my case it's about having to be okay with her being on my mind, having to be okay with not being able to forget. Gotta stop beating up myself for thinking the reason I can't forget is because I'm desperate.
    This is different.

    • @KimVa
      @KimVa 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      You really don’t forget anyone . It’s just about accepting and seeing it from a different perspective. No resistance just acceptance .

    • @never656
      @never656 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I feel your pain. Its been over a year I had slept with 3 different girls and now I'm dating someone that i like but the feeling ain't the same. Found out today my twin flame is dating someone we didn't like and it hurts... How? Its a scar we live with spiritually, acceptance is part of the healing process.

    • @faya1969
      @faya1969 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Everyone is different my dear friend. And your right , you never let go of a twin flame. Healing is within yourself and letting go. I know its hard to stop thinking of a specific person. I can relate. What you got to do is go within yourself. Start Loving yourself again. Find things that make you happy and do them. I started vacationing and taking trips here and there and started finding happiness in Nature. I started to Love myself and be happy with myself . Once you learn to let go and live your life you can discover that the universe will bring complete peace . I am not a therapist but I can relate to you and this was what I did. Blessed Be .....

    • @rj9617
      @rj9617 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@faya1969 Well said. Thank you!

    • @AccidentalWarrior144
      @AccidentalWarrior144 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I don't want to add false hope here but it's not over til it's over. Real twin flame here. All my work is on finding myself first before helping someone else first. Twin flame "missions" are real. Don't let any teacher tell you there is no purpose or no mission. Yes there is no purpose if you go into non-duality, which is key to atttracting them. It is being but focus on you. You are them, their breath is your breathe but their personality (ego) is not you. Yet you mirror their wounds. If you need help then drop me a comment. My twin flame is in the msot absurd situation you can possibly imagine. That's normal. You're probably the DF in male form energy if you're commenting on here. I believe I manifested my twin flame due to dire circumstances but despite that I recieved downloads of my souls purpose and new identity. He could be cooking an omelette up a tree and chasing squirrel's for all I care. When you change your energy in theory eventually they too change.
      Until then peace out. I'm off to do what I love ❤️

  • @ronnierobbins5213
    @ronnierobbins5213 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    We adore those who ignore us and ignore those who adore us.

    • @samelaaben8885
      @samelaaben8885 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      My ex come back to me few days ago❤ I got help from a relationship Restorer Dr Ezekiel who was able to mend back my broken 💔 relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for second chance.He can bring your ex back.香港 香港

    • @samelaaben8885
      @samelaaben8885 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wh'atsapp him for help*🙏.香港 香港 香港

    • @samelaaben8885
      @samelaaben8885 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ✛2349139295144👈♻️♻️≧﹏≦你 *好呀* ((ʘ言言.كلية الفنون التطبيقية في

  • @Madu8000
    @Madu8000 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Thank you very much ♥️♥️
    Let them go and bring the attention back to you ♥️♥️

  • @stacylovesart6135
    @stacylovesart6135 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    So true. Allow others to make choices, let them go. However, avoid playing games in the ignoring or detaching (this also is manipulation and can be obvious). Be OK with alone time, while expressing availability to love upon their return.

  • @joepike6460
    @joepike6460 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I recently came across your videos Aaron as I’m going through a really tough breakup. Initially I was begging for my girlfriend back but now I realise she needs space and I also need space to get my head in the right place. I guess the space may lead to her missing me and a reconnection but I also accept it may not. Very tough to continue this mentality whilst heartbroken but I know it’s the path to happiness and I have to trust in the plan whatever that brings.

    • @ojasvitaak7344
      @ojasvitaak7344 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Did you guys patch up ?

    • @joepike6460
      @joepike6460 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ojasvitaak7344 unfortunately not, she moved on with somebody else. I’ve been unable too, it still hurts me every single day and I’ve beat myself up over time over analysing every single memory but it’s not healthy. Somehow just have to keep moving forward, it’s all we can do!

    • @Tomer4love
      @Tomer4love 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      How are you nowadays?
      Can you p.l.e.a.s.e give me an update.
      I am in the situation you were in a year ago- now..Thank you from the bottom of my heart man🙏

    • @jessikamiller2331
      @jessikamiller2331 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Going through this process as my fiancé suddenly left me. Realizing I'm anxious attachment so trying to release and just refocus on myself.

    • @joepike6460
      @joepike6460 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Unfortunately we didn’t patch things up, she moved on with someone else and it’s still something that haunts me to this day. The rawness goes but it still feels like something is missing and it’s hard to shake the blame you put on yourself. It’s tough but you have to try and cut yourself some slack, it’s the only way you move on - I’m a work in progress! Hope you guys are okay x

  • @paulabot3206
    @paulabot3206 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I think an important thing is to not forget to care about the other and to absolutely not manipulate others
    No matter how much time you need for yourself never forget about to care and be available for your loved one and working with communication and make the other and yourself loved and respect and not being with a narcissist… 😅😅😅

  • @mhow8059
    @mhow8059 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    today i calmly packed my bags and went home. we talked. im meeting his sister tomorrow, its crazy how i just stayed in my power, he came right after me and opened up, i didnt know he was going through all that. its great to talk/ be calm/be honest..no drama

  • @swaroopamk6168
    @swaroopamk6168 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Wow..its a clear and simple explanation of attachment..I understood a lot today..wasted 6 years chasing my husband for getting his love..my eyes opened when I started therapy.. thanks for this video lesson..

  • @Rmr0924
    @Rmr0924 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Wow amazing stuff. Perfectly encapsulates me (anxious) and my ex (avoidant). It’s good to learn this stuff and how to heal. I hope the universe brings us back together

    • @Tomer4love
      @Tomer4love 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same thing with me.. I am anxious and he was avoidant.
      I am gay.. can you tell me if there's anything new that happened to you in these two months?
      Did you work on it?

    • @Rmr0924
      @Rmr0924 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Tomer4love hey man. I’ve worked on myself to no end. So much better now. But I never heard from her and I know that I’m MUCH better off without her

    • @Tomer4love
      @Tomer4love 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Rmr0924 you are a true hero. Struggling against your feelings is the hardest battle in life.... I'm almost 38, and until today I am asking how come it developed the man I am today, because all I ever wanted is to love and to be loved. And I am a VERY communicative person. But never get into a relationship with someone. This is sad...

    • @travieso4fun2000
      @travieso4fun2000 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I am gay too...
      I'm going through some relationship issues myself....
      Can we communicate?...

  • @jesusaflores7310
    @jesusaflores7310 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Yes u were right Aaron,he ghosted me without any reasons...I thought he liked me..and we're going to meet and some reason he stopped reaching out...Then I felt unworthy and questioning myself ,doubting ,not good enough,and fear of losing him .

  • @snakehips916
    @snakehips916 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am 60 years old and have just found my partner cheating. I have been trying to find answers and after a lot of searching I ended up here. Aaron’s videos have been extremely helpful. I realise so much about myself and my partner. This is such a painful time in my life but understanding myself and my partner really helps.
    I have 2 sisters who are 12 and 16 years older than me and when I was 2 and 5 years old they left to live in another country and I felt abandoned. My mother was still around but was very unavailable and violent and my father was not really present psychologically. I think this is why I feel such insecurity. A lot of info on here is about parents but I think there should be some inference on siblings too. I look forward to responses.

  • @svenk5221
    @svenk5221 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Hey Aaron, I know I am repeating myself but your videos help me through a dark time and they really give me hope and advice. Thank you very much

  • @genevieveberthiaume1071
    @genevieveberthiaume1071 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is sooo real, I was sceptical but I tried it a few times and wow! I let go and recalled my energy without ghosting them and they came back!! This shit is real and powerful! Thank you

  • @yoshreimi
    @yoshreimi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thanks Aaron love from Puerto Rico 🇵🇷

  • @Go_Won_Hee
    @Go_Won_Hee 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I literally cried watching this video... so much touched my heart...

  • @mandypollyn9257
    @mandypollyn9257 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I wrongly made him leave, I have now reflected big time I did wrong, I love him.🥰❤️❤️

  • @erikae2100
    @erikae2100 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The people liking you is so me. A coworker i worked with for years. I could tell she hated me. It all changes when i didn't try to be her friend anymore.

  • @jacobgarcia633
    @jacobgarcia633 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Honestly sometimes things just don’t work out. Which ever you do. There’s no 100% guarantee.

  • @its_dade
    @its_dade 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Your videos always speak right to me. I have so much trouble pulling back. Even when I say I'm going to send really mean it. She was the anxious attachment our whole relationship and I was avoidant. Then she just left out of the blue and the roles have reversed and I can't get out of it. We are both codependent and have abandonment issues it's a mess. Can't let each other go but she can't re commit . My lack of patience, control issues, abandonment issues etc want the answer now. Doing the work though so hopefully a damn light bulb comes on one day. I just started your 21-day challenge course

    • @TA-cb1cn
      @TA-cb1cn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      When an AP breaks up it's usually for good :(

  • @monicarice2697
    @monicarice2697 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Love that front door, fireplace, and open floor plan Aaron! I haven't seen you for a while now....thank you. I've always related and resonated with your content, thank you!

  • @Arvyhernandez
    @Arvyhernandez 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Choose to have integrity with yourself by living on your values and boundaries.

  • @gavinspeaks
    @gavinspeaks 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    We must learn to DIM the mind and brighten our hearts. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is 10x more powerful than Intellectual Intelligence (IQ). What if we lived in a world were the ‘Smartest’ people in the world were actually the dumbest. We’ve been taught to use our brains more than our hearts and we wonder why there's suffering in the world. This world is reversed. Do the opposite of what ‘they’ tell you to do. The heart is the first organ to grow in the body. Follow your heart and use your intellect as a co-pilot to assist the heart.
    ~Much Love from a Law of Attraction TH-camr💜

    • @tleemf6923
      @tleemf6923 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Love this so much and indeed agreed 💫🙏💫🕊🌹🤲💫🧡💫

    • @kunal_k_
      @kunal_k_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Totally
      Heart has more neurotransmitters connected to the brain rather vice-versa. EQ intelligence far outweighs the IQ it's been known but taught otherwise ☕

  • @justalexism
    @justalexism 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Ive watched multiple of your videos and you have reached so many points that I was aware of but didn’t truly understand. Thank you for your help on learning more about my wounds and how to be a better version of myself by breaking these cycles. I’ve shed a couple great tears. ❤️

  • @nowie1111
    @nowie1111 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Just turned a new chapter in my life , new awareness... and yes I keep attracting people who sweet talk and make me wait for months even years to even have a relationship. I am soooo grateful 🙏 for your video. Thank you for being here ❤ 💕

  • @TheXinchew
    @TheXinchew ปีที่แล้ว +14

    You were spot on with my attachment style. I want my avoidance partner and me to work towards healthy attachment style. But it has been such a pull push challenge.

  • @nm9412
    @nm9412 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

    You make do so much sense! So straight forward! Thank you!

  • @FatimaKhan-fq9ho
    @FatimaKhan-fq9ho 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    My belief is that ppl come and go ya i never thought that ppl.leave me but once i attached to someone i feel bad and cry but then i become happy and love talking to new people but now i dont attach myself to them .. and life just changed and told myself one thing that people come and go and i enjoy renewing myself .. and learn new things .. .. everybody is human some could be busy some are loving there are different people just learn .. and make your time pass with them ..but i dont ignore people if ppl are interested in talking to me welcome those who arent bless them

  • @cococaptivating7611
    @cococaptivating7611 ปีที่แล้ว

    Many adults were rejected by their parents in their childhood through death.
    That changes EVERYTHING in the family dynamic.
    So many little boys are told they are the man in the family. Their Mama may be depressed and not there either.

  • @svenk5221
    @svenk5221 ปีที่แล้ว

    There is no one to change but yourself. Everybody is you pushed out.

  • @m3cMe
    @m3cMe 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Wow did you ever just clear my energy from the previous video on no contact, but needed this one even more. Been days of feeling completely blocked, not anymore! So grateful. Blessings and peace
    Mahalo nui🤙🙏🌺

  • @ttt-dm2qj
    @ttt-dm2qj 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I healed my “anxious” attachment style through Healing Codes. During the session I realised why my mum rejected me. Straight after 4 sessions I became emotionally free from toxic relationship. I realised that I ve been in relationship and had been repeating the rejections patterns know from my childhood! I really recommend a Healing Codes to overcome past trauma.
    ❤️

    • @salonigrover6449
      @salonigrover6449 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      plz tell us more about it 😊

    • @marcust478
      @marcust478 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      this cryptic BS comments are always like that.
      The person says they solved their problem but never point the direction to others.
      It's like boasting about it and having pleasure that others are still suffering and trying to find a solution.

    • @ttt-dm2qj
      @ttt-dm2qj 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@marcust478 I replied to those ppl but for some reason my comments are hiden

    • @jordancooper2101
      @jordancooper2101 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hello, could you please give me more information on healing codes. I really could use that.

  • @christineribone9351
    @christineribone9351 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I LEFT. HE KEPT TRYING TO MAKE ME DO SOMETHING. I FELT SUFFOCATED!!

  • @heatherprescott514
    @heatherprescott514 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Don't want anyone back. Just for them to move on with their own life.

  • @TheBrody3
    @TheBrody3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You continue to help me save my own life. I owe you so much appreciation!

  • @jaredvaughan1665
    @jaredvaughan1665 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The Stoics, like Seneca, already knew this.

  • @deshawnterry9291
    @deshawnterry9291 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Bro speaking directly to me. U just raised my vibration

  • @cryptointegrations9854
    @cryptointegrations9854 ปีที่แล้ว

    I have struggled with emotional addiction playing victim to my negative emotional reactions and in turn have lost relationships that were important to me. I finally got to the root cause to my breakups and trying to heal.

  • @luisgutierrezjr1513
    @luisgutierrezjr1513 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love yourself by doing the hard things that will put your future self in a better position 🙏🏻 even if that means walking away from someone

  • @tc8993
    @tc8993 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    In my humble opinion, while doing your healing and self-care, especially once you're well into it...
    It's extremely important, in my opinion, to ask if even want this person back?
    In my 53 years of life, while thinking so many times I wanted a specific person back, I realize now, and did the last few times, that it was a blessing they left. Especially if they just vanished. Because zero chance in hell would I want them back. Instead, I want me. Specifically, I want me... Without them!

  • @jennypepster1462
    @jennypepster1462 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I've heard about this but stated in a different way. Thank you, Aaron, for using my language. The concept is clearer to me now.

  • @deec411
    @deec411 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I lost a wonderful aunt to a sudden heart attack when I was 8. She was 44. She was single, no children and many people said I looked like her. It was devastating. I am only beginning to see how it affected me.

  • @anonymously5681
    @anonymously5681 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you Aaron, you have no idea how inspiring your words are. Thank you. Love and respect from India.

  • @aribailor3766
    @aribailor3766 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Karma.
    Your past catching up to you.
    Bad karma.
    A lesson to be learned, a trauma to be resolved.
    Good karma.
    Being open to everything the bad karma was keeping away.
    Maybe something lost due to bad karma can return in the form of good karma.
    But perhaps, the reason you lost whoever/whatever during your bad karma stage was a mere indicator to your bad karma, and nothing more.
    Paving the way for actual good karma.

    • @aribailor3766
      @aribailor3766 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Angela ben which one? 🤣

  • @jordynlafayeprints
    @jordynlafayeprints 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    You hit right on the nail, thank you!

  • @terrenanikkel3330
    @terrenanikkel3330 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Yes, what you say is so true, I totally understand this but also I can really feel his energy sometimes and I know what he's feeling. Even though he left me - just out of nowhere I will start feeling anxiety, anger, depression or other emotions and it's not my energy, I was fine and busy doing something when it happens and it's hard to ignore. I know the difference between my own energy and his. I feel bad he's feeling that way and it makes letting go of him harder to do because it makes me feel like reaching out to him right away. I have to learn how to ignore his energy and stop wanting to reach out and help him somehow. He's the one who left me and I have to learn how to let him go no matter how much I pick up on him and no matter how strongly I can feel him and just worry about myself. I haven't seen him and he hasn't talked to me for 2 months but I feel his energy of emotions almost every day until he goes to sleep at night and then it finally stops until the next day. It's hard to not want to help him but he left me and he should be the one to come to me not me going to him for anything and keep focusing and helping myself and my own life. I don't chase him anymore like I used to but it's hard. This was another helpful video. I will have to check out Magnetic - Love next 🙏❤❤❤

  • @Vera-sc3ud
    @Vera-sc3ud 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Try to do the nice breakup because I felt unloved. Tomorrow I received a massage that I'm right and that he was looking for something casual. Then I became brutal. I told him he should have said that,not fighting with me all the time,I humiliated him for becoming that kind of guy(we knew each other years ago),and that he has wasted my time. He wanted to finish off as being friends,which I also denied. What friends? It' s just a phrase. I told him he showed me how unimportant I am for him and that even for past sake of our knowing each other I wont forgive him. I don't care. I don't want anyone back because they will come back with the same story. Show them your value and their evil by cutting them totally out of your life. That picture will forever remain with them. You don't love me - you don't exist. Period.

  • @Rob-qs3xx
    @Rob-qs3xx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    my gf and i were splitting up not by my choice i moved in with a friend went out that weekend did karaoke at a bar on stage with a hot chick had a blast posted it all on snap she was begging me to come home the next day i made her wait 7 days i kept having fun and she lost it women can not stand to see you happy without them

  • @maria52100
    @maria52100 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My boyfriend left me when i was pregnant from him.I care about baby alone.3 years i cant forget and let go this trauma.

  • @kenzielove99
    @kenzielove99 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I don’t understand why thinking about and liking someone would push them away? Isn’t that a sign my heart is open to loving them

    • @sincebeggining
      @sincebeggining 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Its not your fault they are fucked up in their mind

  • @anabellec.8919
    @anabellec.8919 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It is true that ex always comeback, my ex communicate with me almost 7yrs , and apologized . I forgive him, but the feelings is gone. He came back when I already moved on.

    • @Silver-Lining1111
      @Silver-Lining1111 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes it’s True.
      In My Case, the moment you truly let go and moved on with your life (after almost 2 years) that was the moment they trying to come Back.
      But it was too late.

  • @elizabethv1117
    @elizabethv1117 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I’ve been to only one therapist before, but it seems like you’re the only therapist I’ve ever have because you’ve truly changed my life! Thank you!

  • @latenishadavis6355
    @latenishadavis6355 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Man, I love you. Good energy all the time. You've got me through a lot. This video just started playing on its own, I guess I need to hear it. All love and mind expansion. We're growing!! Haha. Have a great one. 👍🏾❤️🤗

  • @ZoeLuna88
    @ZoeLuna88 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    31 yrs of my life, this is the 1st time I knew I am in anxious attachment attracting avoidant, feeling obligated to heal of fix ppl who always leave after. 😔

  • @ginaalesha2
    @ginaalesha2 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Aaron, I really needed this! Thank you, I’ve let go!

  • @greedintogratitude9882
    @greedintogratitude9882 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Is that your new place, Aaron?! It looks gorgeous! Love all of your videos. 😊

  • @KerrRobinson
    @KerrRobinson 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This blew my mind….I’m an anxious, and in most cases I am attracted to avoidant. My current situation included. Never saw it as this til watching the video. Very illuminating.