Taking Advantage of Nice People - Fair or Foul?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ต.ค. 2024
- Is it ever okay to take advantage of someone just because they’re super nice? We open up about the importance of boundaries and being empathetic and reveal the times we might have been guilty of taking advantage of a kind person.
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#FairorFoul #NicePeople #Boundaries
For those of us who have loved and stuck with this show from through the years and chose it every time over the many other day time shows... I beg the power that be, PLEASE do not cancel this show. It has been a great therapy, a light hearted medicinal laughter and learning tool for me. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I started watching this show when I was 17. My mother and I never really had a good relationship and I don’t have any female figures to speak to. As weird as it sounds they helped me to become a confident and non judgemental woman hearing all the experiences and learning from them I really hope it’s rumours and they continue with the show 😭❤️❤️❤️
@@shaaayshaay5350 OH WOW!! Maybe what you've said here will cause them to change their minds. Good for you. You found your siblings in the cast. ❤👌
I pray it’s a rumor 🙏🏾
THE POWER THAT BEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
This made my eyes water. I started watching this in my earlier 20s I am now in my 30s. I can't explain how much this show and the ladies have impacted my life. I am all the way in the UK 🇬🇧
These girls have been my friends throughout all these years. So sad if the show cancels, feels like I’m losing real friends!!
i feel the same way girl
Why is it getting cancelled though? Every video I watch I see tons of cements and all positive and love the show so why r they cancelling it?
We need to sign a petition to stop it from being cancelled. Life will NOT be the same without our girls
I so agree!
We've seen this happen with Jeannie, she does not speak up for herself enough and it did result in people taking advantage of her.
Really? I find Jeannie is the perfect balance of nice and assertive
@@miekaxiii I think she’s recently learned to be assertive because she was taken advantage of on the show.
Oh really I mean I just recently started watching the show like the ending of 2021 in quarantine and it seems ike she's a bad ass with her shaddy sassy moments its almost as if she has this I don't take nonsense form no body kind of attitude and be like I'm not like those other girls kind of mentality and the kind to mess with you would think that she'll be more firm with people that seems to want to use you or take advantage of but oh well didn' know she was that nice😊
@@alexandraanderson3988 Jeannie has grown a lot on the show. Now she is more assertive and more confident but she wasn't always like that.
Tamar used to disrespect Jeannie and she was too nice. Tamera got an unfair title of "Tamaga" because she stood up for herself. Sure she exploded but she was standing up for herself. The ladies have really grown on this show!
People also take advantage of quiet people too because they think we can’t speak up for ourselves and it’s annoying
💯💯
I totally understand cause I'm one of them unfotunatley😊 I try not to let them tho
I used to be the person who lived for people calling me nice. Then I realised how entitled I made every one. I realised that when I failed to meet their needs, I was considered useless. All they cared about was what they received from me at my expense. Ever since I set myself free from that trap, I have never been happier 🤣😂
Well said. BOUNDARIES ARE THE KEY TO HAPPINESS
Taking advantage of nice people is messed up. Its happened to me so many times, it's so wack. I did finally learn to say no and put up boundaries but it's so wild how people will just take advantage.
This is what I have to work on…, and setting boundaries feels like a lot sometimes.
Yea same here, I've been told to my face that I'm too nice and people will walk all over me. I have to speak up and not be a people pleaser. Idc what people think of me anymore. I will set boundaries and say no if I can't help them out. I am always saying yes to people, but when I have my issues no one is there they act like they are blind smh
@@melissalitus8879 i feel you this is exactly why I put up boundaries because I was always there for people but when I need help they are nowhere to be found
A1a11
@@Prince_the_One yep exactly 💯 we have to demand better for ourselves or people will take us as a joke and keep playing. Set boundaries and say no sometimes
This is why I avoid people because they quick to call you selfish the first time you say No.
Facts 🍵
And they act like that first time you say ‘no’ cancels out all the times you’ve said ‘yes’ smh
@@JenobiaWrites just going through this. Emotional blackmail it is.
@@JenobiaWrites Preach!
Exactly! When I use to snap, they have a Pikachu face and start telling people, you don't know the real her, she is mean. It used to be so funny because you run over me when I was nice and when I get tired of people bull and started snapping at people bullshit, they make me seem like I am a bad person.
"You won't get, what you won't ask for". My new favorite quote.
One thing I have heard lately is just because someone is nice doesn't mean they're good people.
True
Big difference between niceness and kindness.
Agreed
@Te'Dra Life I thought I was the only one that noticed this. Sometimes the "nice" that people show others is a FRONT and i noticed it's very common. Alot of people are out here wearing a mask.. just like you have fake happy people. You can discern a GENUINELY good person from a fake and now-a-days genuine people are rare.
@@user-qf9el3pt8e so true….so when you meet someone who is genuine don’t take them for granted!
Stop taking advantage of nice people!! I can't stand users 😒 I am speaking up more and setting up boundaries from the jump. People will keep taking, because you are a giver and they see your generous heart ❤ it's alright to say no and not be a people pleaser all the time. I am that girl that is there for people's problems, loaning money, sharing stuff etc.. but in 2022, I have to grow and distance myself from the fakes! I am a pure soul and tired of the bs. No more overplaying my role or extending myself if it's not reciprocated back 💯
Had a mental breakdown that led me to realize it's ok to say no! It's the hardest thing to do especially if this overly generous attitude started as a child. My last show down was my former best friend, and I really learned my lesson for good this time, but it's definitely a journey. It's about finding balance, not losing faith that there's good people, and knowing who you deep down because it was always about us not trying to be perceived as a mean person. If people can't respect your boundaries, then they aren't meant to be in your life. I wish you amazing growth and a happy 2022 :)
@@loveboxing1994 I agree with everything you said!! Thank you for sharing that 😊 I wish you a happy and healthy year as well. Thanks again 🤗
Yes ma’am. I’m on the same journey as well. I’m tired of being used, treated badly, worked to the max, etc., this year I’m learning to create boundaries that’ll protect me from people taking advantage of me and my kindness. I can’t please everyone and I’m not going to even attempt to. The only person that I need to be happy and pleased with is myself.
I need to learn to stand up for myself.I always get taken advantage of
My boss used to take advantage of me, I was always the one who would cover other people's shifts and the one who was always willing to work overtime, and the company screwed me over when the pandemic started. I now work from home and that's the best thing I have ever done. Working for others suck.
It does and I am happy for you
@@nessydelight470 thank you 😊
@@leelee185 your welcome
Coming off of the RHOSLC Reunion that recently aired… here’s a quote that castmate Meredith Marks said , “ I don’t hold grudges… I establish boundaries based on behavior in order to protect myself “ … most people that do get taken advantage of are so willing to be nice… but when it comes to second chances you are giving a person a chance to shoot you again cuz they missed you the first time ! And when it comes to that be very cautious and careful of who you allow to let back in ur space ! Forgive but don’t forget and always keep distance and make sure you let ur stance be known as to why you’ve chosen not to let this person interfere with your peace any longer
well said
Yes, I saw that and I was screaming, "YES,YES, THATS EXACTLY IT!! Well said"!!!
It comes down to Self love...Saying No to things that will either bring you stress or will not benefit you in someway be it financially or bring you joy is Self care and protecting yourself! That's what helps me say No without guilt.
@pure radiance that's so true. In my case my source of income was also my source of high stress and has often times led me down the path of depression. So even if it's a JOB you have to give up then you may need to do so for the sake of your well-being. Save your money and LEAVE
@@user-qf9el3pt8e I completely agree... Well said.
Taking advantage of ppl is wrong, no matter how you slice it.
It seems that when nice people stand up for themselves they get referred to as mean names. You just can't win.
@Tasha Williams Sometimes people try to purposely manipulate you into believing you're mean and a so called b**** but deep down they know you're a good person
Seriously!
I hear you! But, I always say never under any circumstances say “I can’t win!” By saying no and allowing them to hear that word loud and clear, you’ve already won! It’s not their reaction to your no that determines your victory in the situation, it’s your putting your foot down and letting it be known that you’re no pushover and that there ARE boundaries that demand respect from their end. If they call you mean for saying no when you’re not in a position to help them (or you simply don’t desire to), that says a lot about them! 🙏🙏🙏
glad jeanie's back. i love the friendship between these 4 women! best show ever!
Oh really Ok I was wodering if she was cause I know she took time off for her baby wasn't so sure if she was back yet I thought this was just a previous recording before she left that's good tho she's one of my favorites
They better not cancel this show 😨😨😨😨😨
I think at the core of this issue is the person is avoiding conflict. I dealt with this and I had to realize that conflict can actually be healthy. Very healthy actually. I don't mean that you should go around starting ish with people either but I do think that there is a happy medium there that will enforce your boundaries and allow your kindness to not be taken as weakness.
Facts. I have to learn to communicate healthy boundaries with people. I don't like confrontation so I tend to distance myself from people
that so true well said
This show brings me so much joy please keep it going !!!!! i love all these women and to come home and watch them everyday adds so much joy to my life.
Let's stop conflating being nice with being a pushover, and being assertive with mean. When ppl say "you can't be nice all the time," to me that simply means be assertive. That doesn't make you mean or less nice and I'm tired of ppl saying that because ppl, esp young ppl, take those words literally and allow that misconception to continue.
Ladies of #TheReal are my sisters, who have helped me go through so much I can't explain. This show can't end
this show has kept me company since season 1. most of the girls feel like my real life friends... i hope the show continues on to do more seasons...
The way Jeanie said Oh you?😂😂😂 Love Both 🥰 Loni’s story of using is all of us lol 😂 Also, my grandma said closed mouths don’t get fed. I absolutely agree, you have to ask for it.
I don’t think « nice » is the appropriate word. There’s a difference between being being nice and not being able to defend yourself and letting people walk over you. Because you can be a nice person and not let people mess with you. These four women are all kind and nice but can people easily take advantage of them? Absolutely not.
They let people walk over them because they’re too kind. You can still be a kind nice person and protect your boundaries.
What you said!
@@leftthatbehind6090 You know the funny thing about it is I jusst started watching the show last year 2021 towards the end and they seem so open minded and talk about things and you would think with their sass and shady attiude you would think their tough in real life as they are on the show crazy they really carry themselves with intelligence and grace on this show which is rally expectional
I like how Adrienne said “not necessarily in this job” even though that was not the case, hahaha.
nice people are underrated. being mean and negative is boring af
Thank y'all for this conversation, I really needed to hear this. I'm a kind person and I know how how it feels to not want to be pushover and not speaking up for myself.
I really love The Real Daytime I’ve watched the show since the beginning and I really want it to stay on these women are real they have great feelings amazing conversations that are for women and women of color who are barely represented I love you ladies many blessings 🙏🏽🙏🏽♥️♥️ I’m gonna pray you guys stay on 💋💋💋♥️♥️🙏🏽🙏🏽
Pls at least one more season!!
I’ve learned from past experiences to set boundaries, yet I still encounter people who try to take my kindness for weakness. Nope, I will give and do when I can, but I quickly notice when someone is trying to take advantage and I’ll put a stop to it then and there, I don’t care if they say that I’m no longer nice. I can be the “bitch” if you want me to be. I know I’m not, I’m just setting boundaries, so call it what you want 🤷🏻♀️
I get taken advantage of a lot! But I won't let that change who I am.
💯
Yeah I think that's exactly what Loni and the others was trying to say don't let it change who you are as a person but be firm and open minded I'm still working on that to even as a teenager
There is a difference between being form, knowing your boundaries, your red lines, and being a door mat and a pushover. Know your worth and respect yourself.
I’m the nice person who cuts people off when I realize I’m being used, and then they get mad hahaha
I consider myself nice and I feel that if anyone tries to get over on me or do me wrong watch out for my bestie Karma. She is always on time which is why I treat people the way I want to be treated. Please don't take my kindness for weakness you will never win in the end. That is why you have to do things from your heart and can't always expect for certain acts or behaviors in return.
I love this show! Please do not go!!!
I’m getting better about setting boundaries myself. I’ve had to learn the hard way that people take advantage of nice people. It’s messed up that we live in a world full of exploiters.
I think loni celebrating taking advantage of people is not the right message at all
I'm so glad Jennie is back!
0:13 LMAO LONI! A future meme on twitter for sure
Can't wait
I need The Real to stay!
me too
This is literally my life story 🙄. Being a decent or nice person nowadays means your an easy target sadly.
Loni is honest! everyone takes advantage of nice people to an extent but just bc someone is nice doesn’t mean they’re stupid.
Please don't cancel thisshow 😩😩
Its sad but true, I am a nice person and we get bullied and taken advantage of our kindness to help out.
To take advantage…Family are the worse.
I relate to Jeannie so much
Taking advantage of nice people isn't cool & the crazy part is those ppl will try to make you feel bad for not letting them get away with it. How can you be mad you tried to play someone & they weren't ok with it???
OMG my husband!!!!
Until he met me people around him took advantage!
I remember meeting one of his tios 4 years into our marriage & just us meeting & talking for a little… he told me again when we got to know each other a little better.. he told me “when I first met you I knew you were perfect for him cause he needs someone like you to have his back and I can tell you don’t take no chit from nobody” 🙂🙈
I am a nice person as well, but I know when I'm being taken advantage and I nip it then. I will ask for help from my Nice friends because they are most likely to help, but I always offer to pay them. If they say no need then ok. In business I don't care if you think I'm difficult or a bitch. I worked retail and they would always call me in to cover other people's shifts and I realized that I was covering shifts for people that were calling out cause of stupidity the night before, nope. I said no every time after I realized that.
Thinkn I dnt want to be A's friend. I can see them all tryna figure out is she talkn bout me? 😆
There is no show out there like this!!’ We need these talks , these representations. This show has changed the life of many woman believe it or not . just by their wisdom. It’s empowering.✨
Jeannie just came back I need to get my fix of her don’t cancel the show 🥺
When did she return? I thought this clip was old lol
@@hanana.7655 this is a new clip… from a new episode that was taped before Jeannie’s maternity leave
@@hanana.7655 Right they would have announced it on the show already that she was back😅
@@MajesticMyronn I knew it I was like is this pre recorded hey would have announced that she was back already and not stall us.😊
Yup, I had to learn to set boundaries and learn to say "no". People can be so cruel and dirty . I hate that some people view kindness as weakness , and they don't understand impact that can have on that person. You can be kind , but dont let no one walk all over you, you won't gain nothing from it.
I love all of these ladies
I hate to admit at one point have been an opportunist in my life. However, I am also a really nice person and had people take advantage of me as well. I had to learn to say no because most times I would overwhelm myself
Sometimes good people do bad things. Great that you changed your ways for the better. That’s what a nice person does ❤️
Don’t cancel this show I literally watch or listen to this at home when im cooking or cleaning it’s so entertaining
On past seasons Adrienne, Loni and Tamera took advantage of Jeannies kindness.
Hmmm🤔 Oh really didn't know that i'm a new viewr just started watching last year I can understand maybe Adrienne but Loni?😊she seems so kind and humble at times well when your friends like they are I'm pretty sure its natural it happend all the time to me. When I was in grade school elementry now that I'm in high school I keep to myself and now that is covid I'm online now so even better.🥴😅
Gurl wth? Tamera is literally the kindest of them all 😂
@@Caleb_Marlena haha she puts a good act! she wasn’t always the kindest to Jeannie.
I am a nice person , but Baybe when it’s time to TURN UP … you will know 🤣 !
Problem is that many “nice” people equate being nice with not enforcing boundaries. Anyone without boundaries will get walked over - it’s a universal law. Nice people walk over people who are nicer than them. No one escapes their own nature.
However, if you are “nice” and want to remain as such, then work on not equating being “mean” with telling people NO. There are nice people who have learned to set healthy boundaries in a non-aggressive way.
Well said adrien well said
4:24
It happen to me to I had to learn.
omg this hair looks GOOOOD Loni
Aww Adrienne ❤️
I needed to hear this. Thanks ladies
Much as every other lady' s outfit is sweet,Garcelle's Rainbow-coloured one is dashing.
Her colour play is lovely
💙💖
That is the Never-shy Andrienne.
She'll never find it difficult to stand up and demonstrate things that others will have to think twice about 😀😀
When she said garcelle I feel for you lmaooo Jeannie 😊😁
Kind and nice are not the same
Whats the difference I always thought it was tbh🤔
Peace. G Money I'd never take advantage of ya. I love all my friends.
I stopped being a carpet people walk all over. I cut friends off. I'm straight up with people now.
G-money looking fly today. Love that outfit. 💕
Love how elegantly she dresses. And hair, makeup are beautiful today.
Who? which one is that sorry i'm a new viewr so I'm confused
@@alexandraanderson3988 Garcelle,with the pink jacket
@@moimeself1088 Oh ok got it love her she’s my new favorite🤩 her sassiness personality everything including her style of choice along with Jeanies😊
The ending cracked me up!
Ihave been taken advantage of ,many times, it is just now that I realise that when I am the one in need ,no one responds, or people dissappear until they need me again. Sounds silly bit I am really teaching myself to tell no, or ,not now because it doesnt suit me now, and it is also being hard to lear, but I know I will get there.
Love this topic ! 💕🙏 you girls are the best
Loni- You can talk about me lmaooo 😊🥴👀🤭
It happens to me too cuz I'm a very nice person that's why I don't have a lot of friends
People always take advantage of kind, compassion people.I am that person that if you have a problem,I wish I can help in some ways.But I just realise that, actually there just using my kindness to get something.Am trying to learn not to be used and I find it difficult because that is what God has given me that gift of kindness,love and compassion. Am asking God to help me but help the ones that there really need help
Wait is Jeannie back?
No these are old clips
Someones constantly ringing my phone's off the walls and wish it will stop don't need me to be Rude or Drastically to someone for the interfferces and plus don't need it already stoped and reagster commit so don't bother me please 🥺.
It’s foul because I’m very nice until I’m not
I'm nice...but I'm super into boundaries. You don't like it. Kick rocks homie✌🏾
Ohhh my the ladies look stunning I love A's white outfit💕💖💖🥰💓😍
I love and trust people so much that I do it with my whole ❤️ but it really hurts when you find out they true attention it really hurts when is somebody close to you or in the family I went through depression and a suicidal state but I learned now I get called The mean girl but in reality I'm just keeping my guard up don't let anyone in you don't get hurt that's my model
This is me I have a friend well I thought she was but Ig it’s more of an associate and she would always ask for favors never want to hang out and do things and when I said sorry no or I can’t she stopped asking
To balance this out, taking advantage of someone could be for someone’s benefit and help, or it could be for the obvious deceptive tale-teller. We hinder the care energy from blossoming when we take advantage of people in the wrong way; which is the classic slave oppression of stepping on someone’s neck in belittlement.
What Jeannie said was wise, “you don’t get what you don’t ask for.” This is the same as saying what you don’t know or understand how to do, you can’t think or reason how to do. When it’s not in you to contend and compete, never knowing it, you can’t think to contend or to compete. However you were raised and nurtured is what you understand life to be like.
For example, on family in a free country could say, “the earth provides everything for free so long as we care for it; so is the same with respect,” and another family in a different free country could say, “nothing is free in the world, you must demand respect and make others earn your respect.” The difference between cooperating and conquering economic strategies show if someone is an enemy to existence itself, and a monkey wrench, or a maintainer of it.
Americans, and many others with demonic energy (mental reasoning), think taking advantage of people is a good survival instinct; when the heaven energy (mental reasoning) is to beg or ask in hope that life and love can recycle and that person will not be one of demonic energy to take advantage of you in return for asking for help. Scavenging the scavenger type of energy.
Let everyone reason out their own choice, what they will be like, but let everyone also know the outcome and paths of each and every choice made. This way ignorance can no longer be the excuse as to why a person/nation is destroyed.
IM THERE FOR MY FAM THEY ARE NOT THERE FOR ME THEY BLAME ME
FOR EVERYTHING AND THE SAME
FROM MY GUY IM THERE FOR HIM
BUT THEN HE ONLY IS THERE
FOR ME WHEN HE WANTS TOO
They are definitely talking about NAACP Image Award luncheon 😆🤣
I am nice as it gets I say yes to a lot of people and a lot of people that I say yes to never say yes to me back. And people have taken my kindness for weakness. Or they will talk to me or treat me a certain way and I don’t react because I don’t like confrontation I actually don’t like to get into arguments however I do love a good healthy debate like we’re talking about something and we have a disagreement or we don’t agree on that subject as long as it’s still fun and respectful and we understand we’re not trying to hurt each other‘s feelings we’re just trying to get our point across I have no problem talking about any subject how big or small I welcome all topics of this world of any kind. But I get really miss understood especially talking like this through text messaging because you can’t hear my tone or my voice so people automatically assume that I’m being mean and I’m not being mean at all if I have questions I just ask because I simply don’t know and I’ll tell them I just want to get a better understanding but they were actually get in their feelings and get upset so I always try to now for the past 20 years I always feel like I have to explain myself before I say anything. I have a long introduction before I say something because I’m always always misunderstood. And also when it comes to me being too nice I feel if I thought we do stand up for myself people will think I’m being mean or evil people have looked at me and gave me a look like they were in shock that I was standing up for myself and they will throw the Bible at me not literally but they were “scriptures or say Curtis aren’t you a Christian you’re not supposed to close and I supposed to yell you’re not supposed to do this that and the other one I finally defend myself. And so I understand also there is something that I also do that everybody do I believe if I do need something or want something or something that I need like money or advice or a favor I don’t really go to the ones that I feel that are mean or evil I actually go to the ones that I feel that has nice energy that because I want to take it vantage of them but because I feel their energy and I know they probably won’t be confrontational. A lot of people are very argumentative I’m in a relationship with one laugh out loud. So I totally understand a lot of people get mad and angry for no reason at all so I tried to either want to stay away from those people or let them have their way but because I don’t want them to get away with a lot of things I have learned now to not deal with those people and just pray for them that’s what the Bible says pray for those that despitefully use you and just don’t deal with them
Can someone tell me where or what the deal is about them cancelling the show? I haven’t heard about it but keep seeing it in the comments
Karma
very nice
I TRY SO HARD WITH MY OWN
FAM AND MY GUY THEN I GET
TREATED LIKE CRAP AND IT HURTS
WHY PEOPLE MAKE NICE PEOPLE BECOME HARDENED. JUST BE NICE TO NICE PEOPLE. WHATS SO HARD ABOUT IT.
Amazing cover up by Jeannie 😂😂😂
I'm surprised the real haven't spoken about the rude comment kim made about women and work yet
Hmmm?? Which kim kadashian or someone else?
@@alexandraanderson3988 yea kim k
Only Arrogant people take advantage of NICE people. Intelligent people know just because your "nice" doesn't mean your Stupid.
Ladies. Taking advantage of people and taking advantage of the NICE guy in on your life are two Totally different things.
Awww garcelle because it happens to me lmaooo ☺️😊
U ladies are amazing,so I'm so nice and kind people tend to take advantage of me all the time,eg at my work place if anyone want something to be done they come to me coz they know I won't say no,it's annoying,I'm a teacher so even my students take advantage of me,even when I know someone talks bad about me to other people and the same person come to me for a favour I can't refuse,is it normal?
Is the show canceling or naw ?