You gotta be kidding me. I'm actually SHOCKED that you have to even make video re this!!!!! No wonder these women get into so many entanglements!!! Even when I was single, young, 18----19 I wouldn't even give phone number if I wasn't as interested in him as he was in me. I've always been a "why"/inquisitive person and I was raised with concept of asking about anything/everything I was curious about!! "No such thing as stupid questions, only UNASKED questions......
I disagree with the guy you talked about saying women get more out of the marriage. Most women work, have to get the children ready for school, transport them to school, go to work, come home and cook , see after the children and take care of the husband's needs as well as her own. So, I don't see how the woman is getting more out of the marriage unless he's rich and she's a house wife. He needs to step in a wife' s role and then he will see.
Not to mention the wife has to clean & cook 7 days a week, take the children to Dr's appointment, wash everybody's clothes, etc, you name it she's doing it! Labor pains and all, those men folk better go sit down somewhere and be quiet! The wife's job is never done, no breaks!😮
@rosannaburgess714 that's not every relationship, a lot of men do the cooking , help with the kids etc maybe those questions should have been discussed as Stefan has mentioned from the beginning of dating.
@@rosannaburgess714 I think that needs to change then. Women need to demand it and vet for guys who are actually hard working and fair in the first place, and men need to reflect and try to improve. It was kind of neccesary and understanable in the old days when the man worked usually all day every day and were truly exhausted when he came home, that the women had to do all that was inside the home. And those chores and caring for kids were exhausting too. But if you arent in these roles and a situation where the man not only provides but has to spend all day at work to provide, and the woman does not. Then they should both do chores and partake actively in raising kids if they have them. It should be fair. And ideally one shouldnt live with constant exhaustion, especially if thats because the other one contributes far less. Both should contribute in total the same amount of work
As a divorce lawyer…people should definitely consider prenups more and many women are making more than men in todays society! Definitely a good topic to go deeper in
Pathetic man and pathetic society that forces or allows a lady to pay his way. And marriage is irrelevant. He took from me and still takes from me in the USA. We were never married. Complete loser, creep, taker, sad I ever met him!
Ever since I began listening to you last year I became the best version of myself. I gladly dumped all the men in rotation. Stopped flirting with unserious men. I asked these questions most of your previous videos have these points. Yesterday I was reflecting on my accountability patterns and who is checking me?! I am on a beautiful journey and I’ve sincerely healed. I was so hyped about a husband that I always ignored these things. I asked guys what the role of a husband and wife is in a relationship…😂😂😂 O boy the answers. Thank you Stephen. I am the best version of myself and I am so intentional without being desperate that I’ll be single forever. I am Self developing. This is a free Master class❤
You know someone sent me this video. And I thought... Here's another guy, pandering to women, telling them what they want to hear, and capitalizing from them. I reluctantly opened it, if I'm honest. However, I listened to the first 10 minutes... Then 20, and all the way through. Pleasantly surprised... This gent was honest. Whether it showed favor, or shade to either sex, it was honest and truth. I appreciated every word. THIS IS WHAT WE SHOULD BE SUPPORTING. KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING. SUBSCRIBE!!!!
Rejection is G-d's protection and to show you that those unions weren't approved by him.🤔 Pastor / Bishop R.C. Blakes Jr. says, "Queens ask questions that only Kings can answer."
This episode should be titled "My narcissistic ex" He was a covert narcissist and had every single one of these red flags. He was the best guy in the world while we were just dating. We dated a year and a half before I let him move in. The minute he moved in like a switch he changed. He only wanted to move in because he was tired of the facade he was wearing. He knew I had specific requirements from a partner and knew he had to meet them. The praise and appreciation I gave him were his energy source. He just didn't realize that I was actually praising and appreciating his efforts and thought I was just praising him for having me with his presence. He was used to dating women with low self-esteem and were dependent on him. In his mind he thought he had trapped me and that I couldn't live without him. He was used to sulking and gaslighting, and those tactics didn't work with me. I gave him a couple chances to work on himself and grow, but he just couldn't match my energy and I wasn't going to sacrifice my soul to be with him.
let me guess sex with him was amazing ?? i mean i am narcissist aswell that's what we do trap you with great sex....start making decisions with your brain not pussy i guarantee you you will have better results
Ladies, I have a serious question and I hope any of you or three have the answer. I have my eyes and heart on someone I admire because not only was she my late wife’s good friend, but she was mostly the only one in my circle to know updates and my well being besides my late wife’s family and mine’s. After my wife passed away everybody stopped calling me but her. Later on learned about her spirituality and that alone attracted me. I told her about it, her reply was, “that’s the first,” sounding surprised. My mistake was telling her this about a month later, but there’s a reason behind my action why that happened. Will let you know later on. (Long story short) I love her two kids as if they’re my blood (she’s widowed), I knew them ever since they were babies. I refuse to move in to her home and I hope I purchase a big home in the countryside. My question is, do I ask her what type of home style after proposing her or sneak question it before proposing her? I’d like to propose😢 her in the next two years (God wills it), I see myself nervous proposing her and don’t know if this is daydreaming or assuming the future. Anyways, hoping she’ll ask me these questions Stephen mentioned above. For now I acknowledge I’m on “Separate/waiting” season. 🙏🏼 Can’t wait for that day to come. Everyday I thank God, “Thank you, for preparing me for my future wife and my wife for me. Also her kids for me and me for her kids. Her family for me and I for her family. Bless her special friend with another Godly authentic Christian woman. This way by the time I propose to her she doesn’t have to worry about Your plan.” Yes, this special friend of hers has been from the beginning of her kids’ dad passing away. She “believes God placed him in her path so he can be saved. He’s slowly becoming Christian.” In a way I believe it, too, but for temporary reason. 🙏🏼 Now y’all know. Can’t wait to see that day. 😊
@LdAmaro71 first, my condolences to your wife.. second, I too believe you should be open to love again and im sure your former wife would want you to be happy. However, do you have children also ? Would your own children be comfortable seeing you move on with their mom's friend? Because that's important. How is your relationship with the other women's children, do they already see you as a uncle figure in their lives ? That might make the dynamic you prefer be to awkward for them to accept. You mentioned she has a friend that's been in their lives since their dad passed. He might very well be a dad figure to those kids already and imagine their feelings of then losing two dad's... my daughter lost her biological father at a very young age and recently her step father. It's been quite hard on her. I wouldn't wish that on any children. .. and sir, no disrespect but it's possible this lady was staying in touch with you and checking on you purely out of having a genuine good heart. She lost her children's biological father then your wife, her friend as you stated. So she's aware of the pain you've been in and could possibly just been trying to be a good friend to you, and you might of confused that intention. I am not saying that's what it is and you shouldn't try, but please consider these things prior to expressing your feelings towards her. In your grieving, you might of misunderstood her intentions and therefore could end up also losing her friendship by saying you're wanting more.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
@@BonnieSetliff its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
So happy that you guys were able to reunite and rekindle your relationship, separated 3 years divorced almost 1. I admire reconciliations especially after a divorce, much blessings to you.. . 🥰❤️
@33 minutes in: You make a great point - if a guy is scared off when his date asks if he wants to get married and have children, then she made the smart choice to ask: goodbye ... It's that simple. If he doesn't have the maturity for an adult conversation, he's not relationship material.
On the flip side, there are men that will hit these topics early on too, not to waste their time as well. My guy was very forthcoming early on, asking about my fertility, talking about marriage, about how many kids we would have, my Ring size, about what he found inappropriate and I paid close attention and actually listened & it answered all these questions. It scared me at first, but now I see the whole picture & hearing this makes me appreciate it more than be weirded out by it.
My man & I discussed the future of kids, & I told him truthfully, "I no longer could hv kids, because I had a tubaligation after 2 boys & a girl, & besides that, had already gone through the change. :( "He would of made 1 great dad, but he said, "Ge was content to be a good stepdad to my grown kids."
Living example of the woman being burned financially. The marriage certificate is a financial contract. I wish my younger self understood that. Even if you think you have nothing, things can change down the line.
I asked my boyfriend these questions anyways even though we've dated for 9 months. I think it's a nice way to get the convo going. He said those were really good questions and was taken aback by it. He asked me those same questions too. I really liked his answers. The one question he was digging the most was pet peeves/deal breakers. I had to clarify to him that pet peeves is what annoys him and deal breakers are what you won't accept. The first question I started off with was does he have a self serving narcissist love and I also had to explain what that meant but other than that, it was fun answering.
@@jmcattpisanodance6295When people feel they are important and above others on the reliance of others fueling their self worth and admiration. When they think only people who have beauty, power, success, and perfection can hang with them or be with them and that they are too good for anyone else not aligned with their preoccupied fantasies of fakery. Without others approval, they are nothing. They want to be the only one catered to, taken care of, listened to, the only one to drop everything important to you for them and showered with affection without giving any in return or earning it. They expect you to trust them and not question anything they do but can do it to you.
The lifestyle question had me throwing my hands up and clapping because of how accurate it was. I am a very clean, hygienic individual, and I like to take care of my material things and environment because I see value in my possessions. My ex on the other hand threw his stuff across the room like it didn't matter, didn't spend enough time in the shower, didn't care to wash and wipe things down to preserve it and keep it clean. Our lifestyle differences poured into everything about our relationship, where we ultimately would fight all the time and I didn't realize that one of the underlying reasons was because of how quality of life and the way he lived just did not match mine, so lifestyle is one of the major reasons I decided to end things. This point is so true Stephan and I'm so glad you brought it up because it sheds light on some of the things people overlook in a relationship and don't realize how imperative it is to sustain a healthy relationship.
I love that you said don't be afraid to ask questions in the beginning and that people are more open to discuss these issues because they aren't emotionally invested yet.
This is so helpful. I’ve spent so many years afraid to say what I feel for fear of being disliked only to find out later on that the relationship wasn’t good for me or both of us. It’s much better to put it out there how you feel and where you stand.
I really got inspired by there questions and asked my bf. I even got beyond it and played questions game "Lovify" with him. It had many funny and serious ones. To my surprise, asking questions were a game changer to my relationship. We were having open communication about difficult topics. Our bond is getting stronger with daily questions sessions. And its a lot of fun 💞
If I am blessed to get married again, not only will I ask questions, I will pray to God to reveal to me who this man really is and I will ask my step-dad and all of the mature grown Christian men in my life to vet the man, his family and his friends.
Keep praying. I prayed for mine for a whole year , stayed married and struggling for 15 years . Now, I've been divorced and definitely much happier and free.
This video is very precise when it comes down to the key points to determine a long-term and stable relationship. I believe before moving forward if these questions are asked prior during the early dating stages, it could really help in the long run because at least both parties are aware of the do and don’t that they want and don’t want in a relationship or friendship
Communication is something I’m realising is big for me , I’m only 5 weeks into seeing new guy , he wouldn’t think to message in the day unless I message . He’s attentive and caring in his company but I realised I don’t need all day chat but to think Iv popped into somebody’s head, good morning have a good day or hey hope you have had good day goodnight goes a long way for me !
Tell him. If he likes you, he’ll do it. My fiance asked me and I started to do it because it meant a lot to him. I’d avoided it before that because I didn’t want him to think I was trying to monitor his movements.
This is great, that’s like eye opening, so many times lot of us jumping to relationships without asking questions and hoping for the other person to read our mind or to be honest and be open minded and bring up those important questions that we need to know and that’s not always the case . I am very appreciated these great tips on relationships, thank you 🙏🏼 ❤
You’re clearly sharing your God-given gift with the world to help people love better - not only love each other but also themselves better. Your clarity, insight and communication style are awesome 🙌
So funny how dating happens when we're grown versus when we are young. My husband was hot and made me laugh and that was all that mattered to me so I married him. I met him when I was 24. Wish I could have asked him all of these questions back then. 20 years later, we were done, because of " nonalignment of how we want to live life."
Asking these questions of myself actually helped me to feel empowered! I feel like once I know what my answers are, I will be able to openly discuss and express my point of view and if a man doesn’t agree with me then we are not compatible. ✅
When I asked the question is his plans long term or for the moment… in return no answer he asked me a question in my mind. I felt like that was to avoid the answer to my initial question.🚩 he’s an engineer problem solver so not giving me the answer to that question I cannot takeoff in a plane, knowing the engine is faulty.
A prenuptial is a brilliant thing to do! It protects both people and you can define it as you wish. It helps you to define what you both want and eliminates confusion. It helps you to have a full financial discussion, too.
Stephan, you crack me up when you laugh before you are about to say something that could be a trigger. One of the reasons I enjoy your advice. You are authentic as always.
Sooo so good!! I’m gonna practice locking these Q’s in by having a little journal session date with myself and these questions to start with😁 make sure I’m super clear on my end:) Great direction, thanks!!!
Yes, it's important to get clarity around these issues at the beginning, so there's less conflict and confusion down the road. I would love to find a guy who can communicate this well about so many things. Perhaps I should pray about it! 😇🙏💗
My high school boyfriend from 42 years ago and I have recently reconnected and he lives 400 miles away from me so we are talking on the phone a lot. We’re getting a lot closer and we’re planning a trip to meet each other in October. And he is very much against marriage because he’s been through two really bad divorces and the last marriage his wife got him for a lot of alimony and he’s still paying for that. Totally agree with you about asking for a prenup because I think he would go for that if things progress. He did tell me he may reconsider but we’ll have to see. I’m so glad I found your channel because you make so much sense. 👏
Thankfully, I don’t have a problem with that. I ain’t suppressing shit RESPECTFULLY 🙂. If I feel like I can’t be open and ask questions to get to know him better ,there is absolutely no point. I never ask in an interrogating way. I’m not about to waste his or my time . Let’s cut to the chase.🙂 Now, after watching the entire video❤, I am proud to say these are the questions I ALWAYS ask💪🏽. It took me trials and tribulations and lots of healing to get to this. Before I started dating, I was single for YEARS, so I’m happy to say that I ask these questions and more(sex ,how much and how, their love language ETC!). Thanks for sharing Stephan. If it feels like I’m walking on eggshells, I’m not about to do it either! I personally feel like everyone should heal. START the healing journey before jumping into a relationship. It will cause a bunch of hurt, and you will sabotage another person’s life. Which is not fair ! AND PUT IT IN GOD’S HANDS 🙌🏽! IF IT AINT MEANT TO BE IT’S NOT🤷🏽♀️! You’ll find something way better AND FOR YOU ❤
I’m dating a great man rn and we enjoy our Q& A time!! I’m keeping them in my Notes app as they come up cause it creates a memory of them. Sometimes the questions are light and fun and others are more potentially serious. It’s great.
Oh my Gosh! Lord, I wish I had known these things a very long time ago! I'm 2 weeks into my separation which divorce is MY end result and I see ALL of these "flags" that were in my marriage. Thank you for your honest transparency. I've been sharing with others.
At first I was scared to ask due rejection 😊but after i listening your teachings i have courage to ask those questions, I'm not scared anymore. Thank you Mr S you help me a lot like really. Thank you again Stephan 🙏❤❤🙏
I gave up that there is no man out in this world who understands how a relationship/marriage works. Lord knows i prayed for someone in the shape of a man who has answers to the questions. I pray that I will meet someone with meaningful answers like you
God bless you, Ruth. I’d like to challenge you with a try. Visit an SDA church. I’m very sure you’ll find your future husband there. You won’t regret the service and the love in that church, you’ll feel as if you’re getting closer to Jesus. Would you try it?
I needed to see this. I’m going on a third date with a man tonight. We’ve been taking it slow. I really like him but we need to talk about these things. I don’t want to get serious about someone who isn’t a good match for me.
Planting seed into good soil. I am a widow of 5 years. I believe I am ready to start dating again and I truly want a lasting relationship. I think that God has heard my prayers but I don’t want him to be an imposter either? Due to that I am very intrigued and smitten
Thank you for this video! Great questions even for the more "seasoned" people in the dating pool, like myself. It's best not to waste time with people who are not compatible. Move on with no hard feelings, and make room for the person that is really a good fit for you. Awesome!
This was such a valuable content. I really agree wholeheartedly that asking these questions in the manner that you’re just getting to know some thing about a person out of pure curiosity not with any agenda is so much easier to do early on. One question that I look forward to asking someone if I’m interested in them is what is it that they wanted from their prior relationship that they were hoping to experience in a new relationship that they just weren’t able to experience in the last relationship. Or put differently, what sort of things are they look forward to sharing in the next relationship that they dream of F
One of the reasons women don't ask questions is because it reveals too much of herself to someone she don't trust have her good interest at heart; From those questions he picks up what's important to her and can knife her with it, so she adapts a listen and observe attitude
Even if a girl doesn’t want to get married, it is an important question to ask the person whom I am dating because I would want to know if they are not interested in marriage or it is very important to them. The question is important no matter what your position is, the idea should be that both people are on the same page on these huge deal breakers. That’s my thought:)
I love watching your content because it really encompasses a variety of lifestyles and values. It’s just so universally applicable, and there’s so much value in it about men’s perspectives and understanding boundaries both for him and for myself. Thank you for helping me be a better partner and friend!
I don't understand why either party to a marriage would have an issue with signing a pre-nup unless they were going into the marriage with the wrong intentions. And that is such a GOOD POINT about having the ability to write your OWN marriage contract with your own terms and at a stage of your relationship where things are obviously going to be more amicable than they would be in the midst of a divorce, but then I believe for some people, eradicating their abiltiy to be confrontational with you in the future eliminates an element of their sense of control, so again, likely a situation in which they have less than desireable intentions as to why they're wanting to enter into a marriage in the first place, and best that situation be ended sooner rather than later.
Thank you for getting personal and opening up about your own personal struggles. I was on a live with you about three years ago and you answered one of my questions. Which was why is he hiding his phone. You were articulate and thought provoking. Only after the dust has settled can I now acknowledge I stayed for ten years. And he wouldn’t answer questions and gas lighted me, I allowed it because he provided. And there was a breaking point. Thankful for the reflections man it hits my spirit
But the problem is, that you ask these questions in the beginning and he give the answer, he thinks you like! Had happened to me that I asked nicely in the early stage, and he gave me right answer, but after couple of years, he said “ yes I was not honest, so mislead you to those answers “. This questions are good to ask, as long as he’s willing to give you honest answers! Unfortunately, good numbers of them says that they’re looking for a long term relationship, but they’re not 😢
My first marriage was with a man who hated himself. I thought naively that my love for him would inspire him to start loving himself and that in turn would brighten our marriage. Of course that never worked and I left to save my life from the destructive path he was leading us down. We had a 20 year age gap and I learned so much from him. A little good, so much bad. Never again.😊 Sticking with my own age range from now on. 20s don't go with 40s, 30s don't go with 50s.That relationship will always be unbalanced and the older one will manipulate the younger one to allow abuse of some sort. The abuse may be subtle, but it's there. Very rarely is the young one the abuser in the relationship.
My mom beat this lesson into me since I was a teen so I was always turned off by older men but I have seen successful age gap relationships- depends on the individual.
@dennisahlarson1584 you are so right. i was liking a man who was 15 years older than me. He did not like people and my question to him was : would he date himself? he told me probably not because he had a bad temper. right then and there i should have left him alone because he surely expressed his bad temper to me. & i didnt even do anything. but i thought the same way you did. Maybe if i showed him kindness and love then maybe that will help or show him a different way. Realized that is not my job. but lesson learned. im learning to stop doing that...either accept a person for who and where they are? or just keep it moving.
I agree with you. I tried with a man 30 years age gap. Yes I learnt lots of good, sexual, emotional, intellectual was so good that really made me want more. But then things started to show up. So staying in close age range is best. At every stage of life people have different values and needs ❤❤❤
The age gap depends on the individual’s personality, I was 9.5 yrs older then my ex, and there was no abuse. I’ve had men 14yrs and 17yrs younger show interest in me recently. 14yrs difference is ok to me but 17yrs feels like he’s too much younger, I became friends and experienced behaviours I didn’t like and some immaturity. Each person is different, get to know them first and don’t discount the red flags.
I've watched a ton of your videos and interviews now, many hours and think you're mostly speaking measured, practical truth. You frequently say, "this may trigger y'all..." or "this might make some of y'all angry". What I've started feeling after watching your videos isn't anger but hopelessness.
@Koichiro Fujinoyama I think that's great for you and that means you're a part of the demographic all his info applies to. I think in reality a lot of what he has to say isn't attainable, even if it's true or good advice. People have real problems and real life, you know? He also focuses quite a bit on attractiveness and financial stability which is totally valid but not everyone can be beautiful and wealthy.
Thanks for this video. When discussing a prenuptial agreement, be honest. An ex thought that I was being stingy by wanting one and after explaining that it is a tool for financial and legacy planning. After hearing me, it helped him to learn more about my values.
Thanks for speaking specifics on this; many of my friends think I'm wrong "setting self up for divorce" by wanting one. I know the right man will understand the reasoning behind it.
Dear Stephan, I recently discovered you on social media and I’m learning so much from your knowledge and wisdom! Looking forward to seeing you at your upcoming LA conference! You’re a tremendous blessing to me! Blessings! Maria Jasso 🙏🏽
I am so glad I came across this video today. Ironically, I was just talking to my best friend the other, regarding this topic. I was thinking to start having a list of questions, to utilize on my dates. I was just jumbled about how many and the right questions to ask, early on these dates. The 7 question to ask men stipulated in this video, is a GENUISE idea. I mean those questions are a perfect idea, to simply eliminate the basic checklist some women carry in their purses as well the basic question men ask "What do we look for in a man". Those questions also allow us women, to see if the men can be honest, and communicate, and to see their behavior when they are asked these questions. The questions are important and valid. Stephen, you are absolutely, right if a man circles around the questions, and gives vague responses, it speaks volume of who they are as a man and gives us a choice whether to move forward into a potential relationship or not. My late mother used to tell me that as well, she would say Baby, you gotta ask important questions, and she is right, and did not completely follow her advice. I honestly was too busy trying to be the nice girl, as explained in your other video. That video was such a wake-up call as well as enlightening.
There are a lot of great points in this video. I would like to mention that age should be considered in a few of these questions, because people often evolve as they get older. I believed I wasn't interested in having children, and not even all that interested in getting married, when I was in my teens and early 20s. I fell in love with my person during this time, and I knew he wanted to get married and have kids pretty young. I convinced myself that he had a better match, who wanted what he did, and I pushed him away. Now 20 years later, we have reconnected, and I wish I could have kids with him, and definitely want to marry him. But he had 3 kids with his ex, and I had a child later in life as a single mom. We both are happy we finally connected, but also regret that we missed out on those many years and experiences we could have had together. So definitely don't be hasty, if you are still young, and you or they may change their mind once you experience a loving relationship together. I didn't want those things, because I never saw a healthy, happy relationship/family, and I didn't want what I had seen.
Wow these questions are DEEP but so necessary 😊😊😊!! I definitely will not be afraid to ask my future partner these questions and then some, after all this is the only way you’ll truly know if you’re meant to be with someone.
Very True, I always feel fear of asking questions but 2 weeks ago I said to the guy that I've been dating that I'm not going to have sex before marriage because I want to do what's right in GOD's eyes. He get back to me on Monday saying, " he love me but he's not prepared to get married as he don't want to remarry" I said to him, Thankyou for being transparent with me & I kinda know it's probably not GOD's Will🤷♀️
I always say, “I need to know what intentions you have with my father’s daughter. My dad died so I have to continue his good work. So spill it, buddy.” It’s cuter than 20 twenty questions, which feel like an interview. Make it cute💜Keep it cute❤️
This is true facts lol! He answer always we just had this conversation this morning ❤😂and I’m happy with the outcome😉 we both want the same things in life! Thank you Stephan
Great video! Some of these questions i hadn't considered before. I'm currently in a relationship but will still ask him some of these. Btw I ask ALL pertinent questions from jump. And the question re: kids, HELL YEA! I am 44 w/ a 25 year old & i do not desire any more. I prefer my man to already have kids (i will embrace his for sure) & i won't entertain the idea of having another 1.
#3 views on marriage - I don’t think is only relevant if you’re looking for marriage… I’m divorced and now I’m not sure I want it, so I ask everyone if they are looking for that bc if they really want to get married, it’s something we need to discuss. I’d be open to it if I find the right person and they really want it, however there are some women that might be just as deadest against it and men that really want it.
Question #5 is a big one!! Cos even if all the other ones mesh, that one can break the Relationship after a while! Very sad after wasting all that time for then to End it!🙁
I hear you about asking questions early in a relationship but I did all that like asking if he had kids, marriage, turn on and offs etc and basically got lied to and have tried for 10 years which does feel like it's been 10 years and we've slipped into this comfort relationship and I feel like I've wasted my life
@Stephan Speaks Need to start a singles dating app or a matchmaking episode , where you introduce 3 couples, who "match" on spiritual levels, desire of marriage, lifestyle, personality traits.
The first question should be aaking is “are you in a relationship or does anyone believe they may be in a relationship/situationahip with you??” You can ask all these lovely icebreaker questions and whole time trick daddy has a woman claiming him. If you ask this from jump 9/10 times they will tell you because it catches them off guard and you can literally tell if they Dont tell you, by their hesitation or body language what the answer is.recently single. Last two men that approached me… after small conversation i asked them this and both said “welllll, it’s complicated”. Nope. Im all set. If they are in a situation that hasnt ended and feel comfortable approaching me…. They will do that to me later on. No thank you. You gotta go! Thanks for your time but im not interested in a man that isn’t fully available.
Amen👏👏Thank you brotha Stephan. No need to get upset or try to understand or be understood regarding men who want the poly life, my responsibility is to respectfully and politely move out that man’s way so that I can be open and available for the next man God has ordained for me.
I think prenuptial agreements make perfect sense. Especially if the man has something to lose,or the woman for that matter. If you stay together it doesn't matter anyway.
Thanks a bunch! It's been incredibly helpful in smoothly navigating the initial phases of dating. This approach helps me discern if guys share my values and goals, avoiding any misunderstandings. Injecting a friendly tone and a touch of humor into my questions has proven quite effective!
I don’t have a problem signing a prenup with my love because he is a wealthy man and I know in that he will leave me with love in his heart and the understanding that we just could not see our forever.
Can you make a video about what you mentioned; someone being cheated on multiple times in the past. The self reflection aspect of that pattern really intrigued me.
Stephan- I love your content because it’s right on target with pinpointing mindsets and how to manage relationships. However, I check out sometimes because it takes so long to go through points.🙏❤️
❤ Join my SPECIAL coaching program here 👉 www.receivingmyblessings.com - so many women are experiencing AMAZING results!
❤️
You gotta be kidding me. I'm actually SHOCKED that you have to even make video re this!!!!! No wonder these women get into so many entanglements!!! Even when I was single, young, 18----19 I wouldn't even give phone number if I wasn't as interested in him as he was in me. I've always been a "why"/inquisitive person and I was raised with concept of asking about anything/everything I was curious about!! "No such thing as stupid questions, only UNASKED questions......
Que es x.l de,f
H
Cut😂😮😮😅.😅 It off s
😂
🥰😎😏🦁
🥺😇 😂
🤩😁
🔥
*I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.*
That's true
true
Give Maya Angelou credit bro
EXACTLY
I’m asking a thousand questions until I’m satisfied. If he don’t like it, thank you, I dodged a bullet. ❤
Exactly
Me too
YU-UP,
Exactly.
Amen.
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
👍🏾👍🏾
I disagree with the guy you talked about saying women get more out of the marriage. Most women work, have to get the children ready for school, transport them to school, go to work, come home and cook , see after the children and take care of the husband's needs as well as her own. So, I don't see how the woman is getting more out of the marriage unless he's rich and she's a house wife. He needs to step in a wife' s role and then he will see.
Yup isn't there a statistic that married men live longer than single men, but married women have shorter lifespans than single women.
Not to mention the wife has to clean & cook 7 days a week, take the children to Dr's appointment, wash everybody's clothes, etc, you name it she's doing it! Labor pains and all, those men folk better go sit down somewhere and be quiet! The wife's job is never done, no breaks!😮
Exactly 💯
@rosannaburgess714 that's not every relationship, a lot of men do the cooking , help with the kids etc maybe those questions should have been discussed as Stefan has mentioned from the beginning of dating.
@@rosannaburgess714 I think that needs to change then. Women need to demand it and vet for guys who are actually hard working and fair in the first place, and men need to reflect and try to improve. It was kind of neccesary and understanable in the old days when the man worked usually all day every day and were truly exhausted when he came home, that the women had to do all that was inside the home. And those chores and caring for kids were exhausting too. But if you arent in these roles and a situation where the man not only provides but has to spend all day at work to provide, and the woman does not. Then they should both do chores and partake actively in raising kids if they have them. It should be fair. And ideally one shouldnt live with constant exhaustion, especially if thats because the other one contributes far less. Both should contribute in total the same amount of work
As a divorce lawyer…people should definitely consider prenups more and many women are making more than men in todays society! Definitely a good topic to go deeper in
Yes, definitely. And don't have a joint account. You don't see people 's true color until divorce happens.
Yes, but most women will not date any guy who earns less than themselves.
Prenups are not legally binding in the UK and it can be contested by the other party . So how do we get round that?
@@yvesgysel9834thats not true
Pathetic man and pathetic society that forces or allows a lady to pay his way. And marriage is irrelevant. He took from me and still takes from me in the USA. We were never married. Complete loser, creep, taker, sad I ever met him!
Ever since I began listening to you last year I became the best version of myself. I gladly dumped all the men in rotation. Stopped flirting with unserious men. I asked these questions most of your previous videos have these points. Yesterday I was reflecting on my accountability patterns and who is checking me?!
I am on a beautiful journey and I’ve sincerely healed. I was so hyped about a husband that I always ignored these things. I asked guys what the role of a husband and wife is in a relationship…😂😂😂 O boy the answers.
Thank you Stephen. I am the best version of myself and I am so intentional without being desperate that I’ll be single forever. I am Self developing.
This is a free Master class❤
Your message is empowering too for me. Thank you 🌞
As a man i would like to thank you for pleasing us and give us sex that's all we want
Yes! I tell people he's one of my life coaches lol
I'm 31, and he has also helped me. He has taught me to be patient and not be afraid to ask important questions.
True
You know someone sent me this video. And I thought... Here's another guy, pandering to women, telling them what they want to hear, and capitalizing from them. I reluctantly opened it, if I'm honest. However, I listened to the first 10 minutes... Then 20, and all the way through. Pleasantly surprised... This gent was honest. Whether it showed favor, or shade to either sex, it was honest and truth. I appreciated every word. THIS IS WHAT WE SHOULD BE SUPPORTING. KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
SUBSCRIBE!!!!
Sometimes asking questions make you nervous because the fear of rejection.
I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
Rejection is G-d's protection and to show you that those unions weren't approved by him.🤔
Pastor / Bishop R.C. Blakes Jr. says, "Queens ask questions that only Kings can answer."
If you don't ask questions you risk getting traumatized later
Honestly should not be dating if you are fearing rejection, you may end up with the wrong person because you are afraid to ask the important questions
@@hs-qk9qf I love that...!
This episode should be titled "My narcissistic ex"
He was a covert narcissist and had every single one of these red flags. He was the best guy in the world while we were just dating. We dated a year and a half before I let him move in. The minute he moved in like a switch he changed. He only wanted to move in because he was tired of the facade he was wearing. He knew I had specific requirements from a partner and knew he had to meet them. The praise and appreciation I gave him were his energy source. He just didn't realize that I was actually praising and appreciating his efforts and thought I was just praising him for having me with his presence.
He was used to dating women with low self-esteem and were dependent on him. In his mind he thought he had trapped me and that I couldn't live without him. He was used to sulking and gaslighting, and those tactics didn't work with me. I gave him a couple chances to work on himself and grow, but he just couldn't match my energy and I wasn't going to sacrifice my soul to be with him.
let me guess sex with him was amazing ?? i mean i am narcissist aswell that's what we do trap you with great sex....start making decisions with your brain not pussy i guarantee you you will have better results
Wow sounds precisely like my ex, a covert narc too!
Never move a man in your home! Rules
Ladies, I have a serious question and I hope any of you or three have the answer.
I have my eyes and heart on someone I admire because not only was she my late wife’s good friend, but she was mostly the only one in my circle to know updates and my well being besides my late wife’s family and mine’s. After my wife passed away everybody stopped calling me but her. Later on learned about her spirituality and that alone attracted me. I told her about it, her reply was, “that’s the first,” sounding surprised. My mistake was telling her this about a month later, but there’s a reason behind my action why that happened. Will let you know later on.
(Long story short) I love her two kids as if they’re my blood (she’s widowed), I knew them ever since they were babies. I refuse to move in to her home and I hope I purchase a big home in the countryside. My question is, do I ask her what type of home style after proposing her or sneak question it before proposing her? I’d like to propose😢 her in the next two years (God wills it), I see myself nervous proposing her and don’t know if this is daydreaming or assuming the future. Anyways, hoping she’ll ask me these questions Stephen mentioned above. For now I acknowledge I’m on “Separate/waiting” season. 🙏🏼 Can’t wait for that day to come. Everyday I thank God, “Thank you, for preparing me for my future wife and my wife for me. Also her kids for me and me for her kids. Her family for me and I for her family. Bless her special friend with another Godly authentic Christian woman. This way by the time I propose to her she doesn’t have to worry about Your plan.” Yes, this special friend of hers has been from the beginning of her kids’ dad passing away. She “believes God placed him in her path so he can be saved. He’s slowly becoming Christian.” In a way I believe it, too, but for temporary reason. 🙏🏼 Now y’all know. Can’t wait to see that day. 😊
@LdAmaro71 first, my condolences to your wife.. second, I too believe you should be open to love again and im sure your former wife would want you to be happy. However, do you have children also ? Would your own children be comfortable seeing you move on with their mom's friend? Because that's important.
How is your relationship with the other women's children, do they already see you as a uncle figure in their lives ?
That might make the dynamic you prefer be to awkward for them to accept.
You mentioned she has a friend that's been in their lives since their dad passed. He might very well be a dad figure to those kids already and imagine their feelings of then losing two dad's... my daughter lost her biological father at a very young age and recently her step father. It's been quite hard on her. I wouldn't wish that on any children. .. and sir, no disrespect but it's possible this lady was staying in touch with you and checking on you purely out of having a genuine good heart. She lost her children's biological father then your wife, her friend as you stated. So she's aware of the pain you've been in and could possibly just been trying to be a good friend to you, and you might of confused that intention. I am not saying that's what it is and you shouldn't try, but please consider these things prior to expressing your feelings towards her. In your grieving, you might of misunderstood her intentions and therefore could end up also losing her friendship by saying you're wanting more.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
@@BonnieSetliff its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
So happy that you guys were able to reunite and rekindle your relationship, separated 3 years divorced almost 1. I admire reconciliations especially after a divorce, much blessings to you.. . 🥰❤️
But, both parties must be willing.
@@BonnieSetliff 😊
Update ?
@33 minutes in: You make a great point - if a guy is scared off when his date asks if he wants to get married and have children, then she made the smart choice to ask: goodbye ... It's that simple. If he doesn't have the maturity for an adult conversation, he's not relationship material.
On the flip side, there are men that will hit these topics early on too, not to waste their time as well. My guy was very forthcoming early on, asking about my fertility, talking about marriage, about how many kids we would have, my Ring size, about what he found inappropriate and I paid close attention and actually listened & it answered all these questions. It scared me at first, but now I see the whole picture & hearing this makes me appreciate it more than be weirded out by it.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
Wow even fertility?! I love that
My man & I discussed the future of kids, & I told him truthfully, "I no longer could hv kids, because I had a tubaligation after 2 boys & a girl, & besides that, had already gone through the change. :( "He would of made 1 great dad, but he said, "Ge was content to be a good stepdad to my grown kids."
I agree with the prenup, because I'm a successful woman and it is a financial risk. This goes both ways, now a days!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Living example of the woman being burned financially. The marriage certificate is a financial contract. I wish my younger self understood that. Even if you think you have nothing, things can change down the line.
I asked my boyfriend these questions anyways even though we've dated for 9 months. I think it's a nice way to get the convo going. He said those were really good questions and was taken aback by it. He asked me those same questions too. I really liked his answers. The one question he was digging the most was pet peeves/deal breakers. I had to clarify to him that pet peeves is what annoys him and deal breakers are what you won't accept. The first question I started off with was does he have a self serving narcissist love and I also had to explain what that meant but other than that, it was fun answering.
❤ the first question you asked & one I'm definitely going to ask from now on. Thank you for your comment
How did you ‘ explain’ the meaning of your first question regarding self serving narcissistic behavior?
@@jmcattpisanodance6295When people feel they are important and above others on the reliance of others fueling their self worth and admiration. When they think only people who have beauty, power, success, and perfection can hang with them or be with them and that they are too good for anyone else not aligned with their preoccupied fantasies of fakery. Without others approval, they are nothing. They want to be the only one catered to, taken care of, listened to, the only one to drop everything important to you for them and showered with affection without giving any in return or earning it. They expect you to trust them and not question anything they do but can do it to you.
The lifestyle question had me throwing my hands up and clapping because of how accurate it was. I am a very clean, hygienic individual, and I like to take care of my material things and environment because I see value in my possessions. My ex on the other hand threw his stuff across the room like it didn't matter, didn't spend enough time in the shower, didn't care to wash and wipe things down to preserve it and keep it clean. Our lifestyle differences poured into everything about our relationship, where we ultimately would fight all the time and I didn't realize that one of the underlying reasons was because of how quality of life and the way he lived just did not match mine, so lifestyle is one of the major reasons I decided to end things. This point is so true Stephan and I'm so glad you brought it up because it sheds light on some of the things people overlook in a relationship and don't realize how imperative it is to sustain a healthy relationship.
💯
Ditto❤
You did well . He was so lazy
Absolutely 💯
Brilliant video, which has enlightened me so well as it shows how value differences tear so many relations
You've helped me depart from all the toxic relationship advice I used to listen to. Thank you. Your a blessing from God
Glad I could help 🙏
Is better to ask and know where you stand and not waste time. Thank you for the precision on how to ask, the tone and all ❤
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaksv:ccc. 🎉🎉🎉❤q
I love that you said don't be afraid to ask questions in the beginning and that people are more open to discuss these issues because they aren't emotionally invested yet.
Agree on the prenup! And even when my mom had one with her 2nd marriage, the divorce still cost her a lot because of her success during the marriage.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Questions are great but they can lie and tell a woman what she wants to hear .Great video
Always important to listen to your intuition
Don’t just listen with your ears listen with your eyes, observe them don’t direct them, see what they choose to do
Men never lie women choose to believe what they want. Men talk and listen
When two ppl genuinely respect each other all else is easy
Thank you for your feedback, appreciate hearing from you ❤️
This is so helpful. I’ve spent so many years afraid to say what I feel for fear of being disliked only to find out later on that the relationship wasn’t good for me or both of us. It’s much better to put it out there how you feel and where you stand.
Hello, how are you
I really got inspired by there questions and asked my bf. I even got beyond it and played questions game "Lovify" with him. It had many funny and serious ones. To my surprise, asking questions were a game changer to my relationship. We were having open communication about difficult topics. Our bond is getting stronger with daily questions sessions. And its a lot of fun 💞
What's that "lovify" ?
@@kpmich8252Sounds like a card game, I’m going to look it up to purchase it - just in case we run out of conversation.
@@kpmich8252 Here’s your answer and I’m sad about it, it’s an app you need to download. 💔☹️
WOW!! 35 years too late me; but I will make sure my daughter listens to this!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
too late? girl, get out here and start dating
If I am blessed to get married again, not only will I ask questions, I will pray to God to reveal to me who this man really is and I will ask my step-dad and all of the mature grown Christian men in my life to vet the man, his family and his friends.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Keep praying. I prayed for mine for a whole year , stayed married and struggling for 15 years . Now, I've been divorced and definitely much happier and free.
Yes, sister!!!
Makes you wonder if arranged marriage actually has a place.
This video is very precise when it comes down to the key points to determine a long-term and stable relationship. I believe before moving forward if these questions are asked prior during the early dating stages, it could really help in the long run because at least both parties are aware of the do and don’t that they want and don’t want in a relationship or friendship
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate that!
More men need to take your wisdom to heart, if they want a relationship with a woman of value.
Agree with the prenup idea. We women and men need to learn how to listen calmly without getting defensive over everything.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Communication is something I’m realising is big for me , I’m only 5 weeks into seeing new guy , he wouldn’t think to message in the day unless I message . He’s attentive and caring in his company but I realised I don’t need all day chat but to think Iv popped into somebody’s head, good morning have a good day or hey hope you have had good day goodnight goes a long way for me !
Tell him. If he likes you, he’ll do it.
My fiance asked me and I started to do it because it meant a lot to him. I’d avoided it before that because I didn’t want him to think I was trying to monitor his movements.
This is great, that’s like eye opening, so many times lot of us jumping to relationships without asking questions and hoping for the other person to read our mind or to be honest and be open minded and bring up those important questions that we need to know and that’s not always the case . I am very appreciated these great tips on relationships, thank you 🙏🏼 ❤
Q
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
Hello, how are you can we be a friend
You’re clearly sharing your God-given gift with the world to help people love better - not only love each other but also themselves better. Your clarity, insight and communication style are awesome 🙌
So funny how dating happens when we're grown versus when we are young. My husband was hot and made me laugh and that was all that mattered to me so I married him. I met him when I was 24. Wish I could have asked him all of these questions back then. 20 years later, we were done, because of " nonalignment of how we want to live life."
Same! Met at 27, married at 31, at 39 we are absolutely not aligned or headed in the same direction.
So, what do you do when you realize the man you married doesn't want to chase the same things or life as you? Because, I'm there 😮💨
Asking these questions of myself actually helped me to feel empowered! I feel like once I know what my answers are, I will be able to openly discuss and express my point of view and if a man doesn’t agree with me then we are not compatible. ✅
When I asked the question is his plans long term or for the moment… in return no answer he asked me a question in my mind. I felt like that was to avoid the answer to my initial question.🚩 he’s an engineer problem solver so not giving me the answer to that question I cannot takeoff in a plane, knowing the engine is faulty.
A prenuptial is a brilliant thing to do! It protects both people and you can define it as you wish. It helps you to define what you both want and eliminates confusion. It helps you to have a full financial discussion, too.
Stephan, you crack me up when you laugh before you are about to say something that could be a trigger. One of the reasons I enjoy your advice. You are authentic as always.
Sooo so good!! I’m gonna practice locking these Q’s in by having a little journal session date with myself and these questions to start with😁 make sure I’m super clear on my end:) Great direction, thanks!!!
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
Yes, it's important to get clarity around these issues at the beginning, so there's less conflict and confusion down the road. I would love to find a guy who can communicate this well about so many things. Perhaps I should pray about it! 😇🙏💗
My high school boyfriend from 42 years ago and I have recently reconnected and he lives 400 miles away from me so we are talking on the phone a lot. We’re getting a lot closer and we’re planning a trip to meet each other in October. And he is very much against marriage because he’s been through two really bad divorces and the last marriage his wife got him for a lot of alimony and he’s still paying for that. Totally agree with you about asking for a prenup because I think he would go for that if things progress. He did tell me he may reconsider but we’ll have to see. I’m so glad I found your channel because you make so much sense. 👏
#5.... That hit home for me. Whenever I mentioned that I enjoy a life of simplicity, it was always a struggle.
Thankfully, I don’t have a problem with that. I ain’t suppressing shit RESPECTFULLY 🙂. If I feel like I can’t be open and ask questions to get to know him better ,there is absolutely no point. I never ask in an interrogating way. I’m not about to waste his or my time . Let’s cut to the chase.🙂
Now, after watching the entire video❤, I am proud to say these are the questions I ALWAYS ask💪🏽. It took me trials and tribulations and lots of healing to get to this. Before I started dating, I was single for YEARS, so I’m happy to say that I ask these questions and more(sex ,how much and how, their love language ETC!).
Thanks for sharing Stephan. If it feels like I’m walking on eggshells, I’m not about to do it either!
I personally feel like everyone should heal. START the healing journey before jumping into a relationship. It will cause a bunch of hurt, and you will sabotage another person’s life. Which is not fair !
AND PUT IT IN GOD’S HANDS 🙌🏽! IF IT AINT MEANT TO BE IT’S NOT🤷🏽♀️! You’ll find something way better AND FOR YOU ❤
I’m dating a great man rn and we enjoy our Q& A time!! I’m keeping them in my Notes app as they come up cause it creates a memory of them.
Sometimes the questions are light and fun and others are more potentially serious.
It’s great.
Oh my Gosh! Lord, I wish I had known these things a very long time ago! I'm 2 weeks into my separation which divorce is MY end result and I see ALL of these "flags" that were in my marriage. Thank you for your honest transparency. I've been sharing with others.
At first I was scared to ask due rejection 😊but after i listening your teachings i have courage to ask those questions, I'm not scared anymore. Thank you Mr S you help me a lot like really.
Thank you again Stephan 🙏❤❤🙏
I'm happy this has been helpful to you, don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks clarity Yes! Oh Lord how I have improved.
Right on point. I wrote a list of questions and quizzed him. I’m not trying to waste time, and neither should he.
I gave up that there is no man out in this world who understands how a relationship/marriage works. Lord knows i prayed for someone in the shape of a man who has answers to the questions. I pray that I will meet someone with meaningful answers like you
I wanted to challenge you to change your perception. I do understand its tough, but the more you think its dark, it will be.
"Nvr say, "Nvr!"
God bless you, Ruth. I’d like to challenge you with a try. Visit an SDA church. I’m very sure you’ll find your future husband there. You won’t regret the service and the love in that church, you’ll feel as if you’re getting closer to Jesus. Would you try it?
You can never ask the wrong question, to the RIGHT MAN!
I needed to see this. I’m going on a third date with a man tonight. We’ve been taking it slow. I really like him but we need to talk about these things. I don’t want to get serious about someone who isn’t a good match for me.
Loved when you said, you won't scare a man with true interest. Another great instalment Stephen. I always wonder where you get such wisdom.
Planting seed into good soil.
I am a widow of 5 years. I believe I am ready to start dating again and I truly want a lasting relationship. I think that God has heard my prayers but I don’t want him to be an imposter either? Due to that I am very intrigued and smitten
I pray that you receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you 🙏
Thank you for this video! Great questions even for the more "seasoned" people in the dating pool, like myself. It's best not to waste time with people who are not compatible. Move on with no hard feelings, and make room for the person that is really a good fit for you. Awesome!
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Great response
any recommandation for a serious Dating app?
This was such a valuable content. I really agree wholeheartedly that asking these questions in the manner that you’re just getting to know some thing about a person out of pure curiosity not with any agenda is so much easier to do early on. One question that I look forward to asking someone if I’m interested in them is what is it that they wanted from their prior relationship that they were hoping to experience in a new relationship that they just weren’t able to experience in the last relationship. Or put differently, what sort of things are they look forward to sharing in the next relationship that they dream of
F
0qsrEW
True
What you put in
Is what you get back.
Whew!! That first question is so important and can help you avoid a lot of bs!
One of the reasons women don't ask questions is because it reveals too much of herself to someone she don't trust have her good interest at heart; From those questions he picks up what's important to her and can knife her with it, so she adapts a listen and observe attitude
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
This was sooo needed. every man I dated has had an incompatible communication style. I missed asking him for communication style
Even if a girl doesn’t want to get married, it is an important question to ask the person whom I am dating because I would want to know if they are not interested in marriage or it is very important to them. The question is important no matter what your position is, the idea should be that both people are on the same page on these huge deal breakers. That’s my thought:)
Exactly
I love watching your content because it really encompasses a variety of lifestyles and values. It’s just so universally applicable, and there’s so much value in it about men’s perspectives and understanding boundaries both for him and for myself. Thank you for helping me be a better partner and friend!
I love the way your break down the questions, is good to ask so to know what you are expecting
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
That stood-up dating experience was necessary....God used it for this purpose to learn and to teach. Praise God for the teachable moments. 🙌
I don't understand why either party to a marriage would have an issue with signing a pre-nup unless they were going into the marriage with the wrong intentions. And that is such a GOOD POINT about having the ability to write your OWN marriage contract with your own terms and at a stage of your relationship where things are obviously going to be more amicable than they would be in the midst of a divorce, but then I believe for some people, eradicating their abiltiy to be confrontational with you in the future eliminates an element of their sense of control, so again, likely a situation in which they have less than desireable intentions as to why they're wanting to enter into a marriage in the first place, and best that situation be ended sooner rather than later.
I’m honestly blown away by your wisdom. I know it’s spirit led
Thank you for getting personal and opening up about your own personal struggles. I was on a live with you about three years ago and you answered one of my questions. Which was why is he hiding his phone. You were articulate and thought provoking. Only after the dust has settled can I now acknowledge I stayed for ten years. And he wouldn’t answer questions and gas lighted me, I allowed it because he provided. And there was a breaking point. Thankful for the reflections man it hits my spirit
Hello, how are you
But the problem is, that you ask these questions in the beginning and he give the answer, he thinks you like! Had happened to me that I asked nicely in the early stage, and he gave me right answer, but after couple of years, he said “ yes I was not honest, so mislead you to those answers “. This questions are good to ask, as long as he’s willing to give you honest answers! Unfortunately, good numbers of them says that they’re looking for a long term relationship, but they’re not 😢
That’s why you also pay attention on how he answers your question. Don’t miss that body language
This is always in my head. It’s better to know now than dealing with it later on. And I’m right since Stephan speaks about it
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
My first marriage was with a man who hated himself. I thought naively that my love for him would inspire him to start loving himself and that in turn would brighten our marriage. Of course that never worked and I left to save my life from the destructive path he was leading us down. We had a 20 year age gap and I learned so much from him. A little good, so much bad. Never again.😊 Sticking with my own age range from now on. 20s don't go with 40s, 30s don't go with 50s.That relationship will always be unbalanced and the older one will manipulate the younger one to allow abuse of some sort. The abuse may be subtle, but it's there. Very rarely is the young one the abuser in the relationship.
My mom beat this lesson into me since I was a teen so I was always turned off by older men but I have seen successful age gap relationships- depends on the individual.
@dennisahlarson1584 you are so right. i was liking a man who was 15 years older than me. He did not like people and my question to him was : would he date himself? he told me probably not because he had a bad temper. right then and there i should have left him alone because he surely expressed his bad temper to me. & i didnt even do anything. but i thought the same way you did. Maybe if i showed him kindness and love then maybe that will help or show him a different way. Realized that is not my job. but lesson learned. im learning to stop doing that...either accept a person for who and where they are? or just keep it moving.
I agree with you. I tried with a man 30 years age gap. Yes I learnt lots of good, sexual, emotional, intellectual was so good that really made me want more. But then things started to show up. So staying in close age range is best. At every stage of life people have different values and needs ❤❤❤
You are right sometimes age gap does Matter in a relationship
The age gap depends on the individual’s personality, I was 9.5 yrs older then my ex, and there was no abuse. I’ve had men 14yrs and 17yrs younger show interest in me recently. 14yrs difference is ok to me but 17yrs feels like he’s too much younger, I became friends and experienced behaviours I didn’t like and some immaturity. Each person is different, get to know them first and don’t discount the red flags.
Whew number 1 so crucial. Just ending a 2 year relationship. We never defined roles and just now realized we don't agree.
I've watched a ton of your videos and interviews now, many hours and think you're mostly speaking measured, practical truth. You frequently say, "this may trigger y'all..." or "this might make some of y'all angry". What I've started feeling after watching your videos isn't anger but hopelessness.
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
Love listening to you
Thankyou
Me too.
I’ve been watching Stephan’s videos for the past three years, and they have filled me with hope and inspiration.
@Koichiro Fujinoyama I think that's great for you and that means you're a part of the demographic all his info applies to. I think in reality a lot of what he has to say isn't attainable, even if it's true or good advice. People have real problems and real life, you know? He also focuses quite a bit on attractiveness and financial stability which is totally valid but not everyone can be beautiful and wealthy.
Thanks for this video. When discussing a prenuptial agreement, be honest. An ex thought that I was being stingy by wanting one and after explaining that it is a tool for financial and legacy planning. After hearing me, it helped him to learn more about my values.
Thanks for speaking specifics on this; many of my friends think I'm wrong "setting self up for divorce" by wanting one. I know the right man will understand the reasoning behind it.
The graduation example shows how you grew in empathy for others.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
Dear Stephan, I recently discovered you on social media and I’m learning so much from your knowledge and wisdom! Looking forward to seeing you at your upcoming LA conference! You’re a tremendous blessing to me! Blessings! Maria Jasso 🙏🏽
Amen 🎉
I am so glad I came across this video today. Ironically, I was just talking to my best friend the other, regarding this topic. I was thinking to start having a list of questions, to utilize on my dates. I was just jumbled about how many and the right questions to ask, early on these dates. The 7 question to ask men stipulated in this video, is a GENUISE idea. I mean those questions are a perfect idea, to simply eliminate the basic checklist some women carry in their purses as well the basic question men ask "What do we look for in a man". Those questions also allow us women, to see if the men can be honest, and communicate, and to see their behavior when they are asked these questions. The questions are important and valid. Stephen, you are absolutely, right if a man circles around the questions, and gives vague responses, it speaks volume of who they are as a man and gives us a choice whether to move forward into a potential relationship or not. My late mother used to tell me that as well, she would say Baby, you gotta ask important questions, and she is right, and did not completely follow her advice. I honestly was too busy trying to be the nice girl, as explained in your other video. That video was such a wake-up call as well as enlightening.
Thank you for posting this! I’m getting back into the dating game and I can admit this is an area I’m working on.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
Good luck
There are a lot of great points in this video. I would like to mention that age should be considered in a few of these questions, because people often evolve as they get older. I believed I wasn't interested in having children, and not even all that interested in getting married, when I was in my teens and early 20s. I fell in love with my person during this time, and I knew he wanted to get married and have kids pretty young. I convinced myself that he had a better match, who wanted what he did, and I pushed him away. Now 20 years later, we have reconnected, and I wish I could have kids with him, and definitely want to marry him. But he had 3 kids with his ex, and I had a child later in life as a single mom. We both are happy we finally connected, but also regret that we missed out on those many years and experiences we could have had together. So definitely don't be hasty, if you are still young, and you or they may change their mind once you experience a loving relationship together. I didn't want those things, because I never saw a healthy, happy relationship/family, and I didn't want what I had seen.
Add what is your credit score and do you have debt? Understanding their financial health and practices are important. I learned the hard way😢
You really hit the nail on the head with so many of the points you make in your videos, Stephan. I appreciate your insights, as always.
I just love the way you couch women per se, while also encouraging respecting those who do not share the same values .
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Wow these questions are DEEP but so necessary 😊😊😊!! I definitely will not be afraid to ask my future partner these questions and then some, after all this is the only way you’ll truly know if you’re meant to be with someone.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Very True, I always feel fear of asking questions but 2 weeks ago I said to the guy that I've been dating that I'm not going to have sex before marriage because I want to do what's right in GOD's eyes. He get back to me on Monday saying, " he love me but he's not prepared to get married as he don't want to remarry" I said to him, Thankyou for being transparent with me & I kinda know it's probably not GOD's Will🤷♀️
Greetings Stephan! I have no problem asking All questions! Bcs I am very expressive! I want him too ask me questions as well....
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
I always say, “I need to know what intentions you have with my father’s daughter. My dad died so I have to continue his good work. So spill it, buddy.” It’s cuter than 20 twenty questions, which feel like an interview. Make it cute💜Keep it cute❤️
This is true facts lol! He answer always we just had this conversation this morning ❤😂and I’m happy with the outcome😉 we both want the same things in life! Thank you Stephan
My pleasure ❤️
LISTENING TO YOU SAVED MY RELATIONSHIP !!! I thank you With all my heart. -- I BLESS YOU, I THANK YOU !! Warm regards from GUATEMALA !!
Great video! Some of these questions i hadn't considered before. I'm currently in a relationship but will still ask him some of these.
Btw I ask ALL pertinent questions from jump. And the question re: kids, HELL YEA! I am 44 w/ a 25 year old & i do not desire any more. I prefer my man to already have kids (i will embrace his for sure) & i won't entertain the idea of having another 1.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
#3 views on marriage - I don’t think is only relevant if you’re looking for marriage… I’m divorced and now I’m not sure I want it, so I ask everyone if they are looking for that bc if they really want to get married, it’s something we need to discuss. I’d be open to it if I find the right person and they really want it, however there are some women that might be just as deadest against it and men that really want it.
Thank you Stephen, this video was very refreshing to watch. If there were more men like you in the world, there would be more happier women.
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
I'm with Stephan, the sooner the better for the getting to the important questions and answers stages 😂‼️
Wow thank you so much! That was the exact topic I was needed someone to shed more light on! AMAZING ADVICES AS ALWAYS
My pleasure ❤️ and thank you for the gift
Question #5 is a big one!! Cos even if all the other ones mesh, that one can break the Relationship after a while! Very sad after wasting all that time for then to End it!🙁
I hear you about asking questions early in a relationship but I did all that like asking if he had kids, marriage, turn on and offs etc and basically got lied to and have tried for 10 years which does feel like it's been 10 years and we've slipped into this comfort relationship and I feel like I've wasted my life
@Stephan Speaks Need to start a singles dating app or a matchmaking episode , where you introduce 3 couples, who "match" on spiritual levels, desire of marriage, lifestyle, personality traits.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
The first question should be aaking is “are you in a relationship or does anyone believe they may be in a relationship/situationahip with you??” You can ask all these lovely icebreaker questions and whole time trick daddy has a woman claiming him. If you ask this from jump 9/10 times they will tell you because it catches them off guard and you can literally tell if they Dont tell you, by their hesitation or body language what the answer is.recently single. Last two men that approached me… after small conversation i asked them this and both said “welllll, it’s complicated”. Nope. Im all set. If they are in a situation that hasnt ended and feel comfortable approaching me…. They will do that to me later on. No thank you. You gotta go! Thanks for your time but im not interested in a man that isn’t fully available.
Amen👏👏Thank you brotha Stephan. No need to get upset or try to understand or be understood regarding men who want the poly life, my responsibility is to respectfully and politely move out that man’s way so that I can be open and available for the next man God has ordained for me.
Timing of asking these questions is everything!
You are so right!!! We need to find the courage asking the difficult questions and act accordingly. Thank you for making this video.
Love your style of communication. I appreciate your wise words. Very important life rules.
I think prenuptial agreements make perfect sense. Especially if the man has something to lose,or the woman for that matter. If you stay together it doesn't matter anyway.
Yeah I could be fine with one 🤷🏾♀️
Thanks a bunch! It's been incredibly helpful in smoothly navigating the initial phases of dating. This approach helps me discern if guys share my values and goals, avoiding any misunderstandings. Injecting a friendly tone and a touch of humor into my questions has proven quite effective!
I don’t have a problem signing a prenup with my love because he is a wealthy man and I know in that he will leave me with love in his heart and the understanding that we just could not see our forever.
Can you make a video about what you mentioned; someone being cheated on multiple times in the past. The self reflection aspect of that pattern really intrigued me.
Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
Stephan- I love your content because it’s right on target with pinpointing mindsets and how to manage relationships. However, I check out sometimes because it takes so long to go through points.🙏❤️
Gosh this is timely, just as all your messages are. When Stephan speaks, I listen! Thank you. ❤
My pleasure ❤️