“you only exist to help the narcissist regulate their emotions.” This is pretty spot on from my experience with them. How they get mad when good things happen to me, get happy when I have any setback. They are basing their self esteem to the inverse of how im doing in life. To the female covert malignant narc who was jealous if me and didnt feel like the star of the show in our relationship and how she would abuse me and constantly try and cut me down and always do something to sabotage my happiness etc. I experienced it all because I didnt live life on the narc’s terms and u know what those terms are? They are validate my false sense of self. Never look better than me, do better than me, be more successful than me, Never make me feel inferior in any way at all. Thats actually impossible cause they are so pathologically envious of everything all the time. But when they feel slighted it causes narc injury and they are gonna be in attack mode with you. Narc rage and wrath is coming. It is sick…
Yes, thank you for explaining that. It helps because now I know it's not me, it's just that they all do exactly the same abuse. They dump everything on us and rip away any happiness we have. It's torture.
@@ab-kh4hm Yes they need a scapegoat to dump all their dysfunction and inner turmoil and low self esteem onto. Its called projection. Whaterver names they call others is what they are and whatever they accuse others of doing is what they are doing. Usually the people they claim are trying to destroy them are the very people they are trying to destroy. It doesnt matter if they are speaking positively or negatively about someone else(most times its gonna be negative) Through their smear tactics against you. 🙄 Just the fact that they are keeping that person's name in their mouth or whatever stupid shyt they have going on is a tell tell sign and red flag that that is who they are scapegoating and who they are jealous and envious of. You are not crazy you are just dealing with a narcissist. smh
Thank you. This was a great explanation. It explains why talking about my feelings made him declare I was making him angry. I wasn't playing the role he had given me by having those emotions.
Your explanations of medical terms is refreshing, I have seen this “extension of themselves” written everywhere but nobody actually explained it as clearly as you. You are honestly one of the best on internet. after seeing one of your videos I was very impressed with your understanding and clear explanations, I decided to watch all your videos since I noticed there are many many narcissists out there, hello from 🇨🇦
As a toddler I don't remember caring; because being so very young; toddler has no clue of understanding anything other than their hungry or wants to play with something. But I totally understand this video. It seems narcissist never grew from being a toddler (emotionally) it's a disfunction they are stuck in a toddler's emotional state, and they may not understand the depth of their own emotions. Thank you for sharing your video it's educational and informative 🤔
Ok so this was made a year ago, I'm all about your videos. Watch and learn almost every day! How am I just getting to this one. Literally just blew my mind. This explanation completely put everything to place for a lot of things that they do. Thank you as always 😍
Recently I subscribed to your channel after watching one of your video's. I am currently watching all your video's from the beginning. I have been watching narcissistic abuse video's for about a year now and I must say: you are very good! You explain everything so well, I am very impressed! Thank you so much, I can't wait to watch the rest of your video's! Big hug from the Netherlands ❤
Today I went kitchen table shopping with my mom who is a narc. What was interesting is the fact I new I had to ask her to come shopping!? She picked the table she liked when I picked a different table....oh my 😳!!! I held my ground and bought what I liked and could afford not what she wanted me to buy. Now my soul hurts after her painful attack!! Let's put it this way...I was put back n my place 😔!!! Crazy...such emotional pain over a kitchen table.....that I picked out!!
Great video as always !! I'd add that as an extension the narcissistic can use us as a dustbin, we become his or her negative "extension" so that he can maintain his or her illusion of aconflictual perfection .
This is soo insightful and well explained, and deep! Like no wonder they could never support your goals or dreams cus like why the fuck would you have desires of your own? You're just an extension of them.
Brilliant observations!! Especially when you discuss the way we relate to actors portraying characters in a movie, and your discussion of how we likely did not see our mothers as actual people with lives beyond just being our mothers, when we were 3.
It sucks when its my employer and i choose to stay bc of the economic benefit. But i been leaening alot about this type of charscter and strategies to deal with them especially with their extreme manipulative tactics
When a narcs see someone they want to deceive you with. Do they see them as their next accessory. And will never attach emotionally to them. This is their next bragging right
See the thing is they know how to separate themselves when its not beneficial to them. For example if im friend with or at least I think I am friends with Johnny and johnny is a covert malignant narcissist and I go and hypothetically rob a bank on my own. When I get convicted of armed robbery and get a 15 year jail sentence johnny wont volunteer to do those 15 years with me. He will say he is cool with me but i did the crime so I gotta do the time. Now say in another scenario I go put in some kinda extra legal work and make a nice amount of money and go and buy a new car. First off Johnny will be jealous then he will feel like I should have consulted with him before I got that new car. He will try abd make me feel like I need to get his permission to live my life and enjoy the fruits of my labor. Johnny will not be able to separate himself from me in that situation AND FEEL LIKE HE IS ENTITLED TO MY POSSESSIONS AND BELONGINGS WITHOUT HIM PUTTING IN THE EFFORT AND WORK TO GEY IT. You have to work and take risk for what u get but the narcissist feels it should just fall out the sky for them and they should have all the fruits of your labor. See how messed up these people are???
You are an extension of the narcissist expected to be useful to their needs. You're not seen as your own person, someone who has their own hobbies, beliefs, or dreams. If you dare to expose any of these things it's a direct wound to the narcissist. Most times abusers really believe they are you and they cannot differentiate between you both. You can see this in their obsessive behaviors toward their victims. Their disbelief when the victim expresses discontentment and leaves the relationship, and mostly when the narc blames the victim for things they have themselves done, but the victim hasn't.
This may be a little off topic, but in another video you said that some narcissist keep one of their parents on a pedestal forever. This is something I have also witnessed myself, and I wonder if and how it relates to being an extension. Would it be that in such cases the parent was also narcissistic, treated the child as an extension, the child becomes a narcissist, too, and keeps the parent on a pedestal in some kind of enmeshment?
I think that’s definitely a possibility. People can be so complex. And maybe there is something to be said of the parent that caused the narcissism in the first place remaining the only person in the world whose opinion matters to the narcissist.
Hi I recently discovered your channel. I have a few questions, please let me know ur thoughts. I left a narcissist 2 years ago by pressing charges. We don't have kids and were never married. Throughout the 2 years, he has indirectly contacted me many times. We had trial a few months ago but it got adjourned bc he lied on me and accused me of violating when I didn't. Trial is set for next year. My questions are. : Since he's silent rn, do u think he's over It and I'm safe? When he's sentenced and serves jail time, do u think he'll leave me alone upon his release? I have a restraining order right now but once this is over, what are the chances of him coming near me? It's been a few years so I don't think he's that angry?
I wish there was some way to predict these things, but there really is no way to know. I think what is important to know is that anything is possible. We don’t have to live in fear, but we can still prepare as best we can for anything an abusive ex may try to do. Most of them eventually move on with time, but it is always a possibility that they could still be angry and could still come back.
I didn't like her, thats what i remember, she was uncaring and cruel, saying I'm going to put you in a hhome, i remember hating her, and then she left for good, she was npd, saw her again when i was 29, didnt go well, went no contact, she dead now, couldn't cared 💔 less, i didn't know her but i knew enough 💔!I knew people were autonomous always, but I only remember back to 4 or 3. I never thought they were me!
Yes I can tell with my sister, she doesn't even see me, I feel invisible, being with her is like being in a nasty black hole of uncaring, my other sister I thought was caring, she behaved this way but then I realised she was just putting on an act, she turned out to be cruel and mean , never listened, same as all other family members! But early on I was aware she thought I wasn't good enough, later I told her so, her reply was 'a weak 'yes I do! which proved she didnt!
agree if a narcissist is a five-year-old child, and for a five-year-old child, all people are those who satisfy their needs
"You're a character in a movie about the narcissist". Very well said!
“you only exist to help the narcissist regulate their emotions.” This is pretty spot on from my experience with them. How they get mad when good things happen to me, get happy when I have any setback. They are basing their self esteem to the inverse of how im doing in life. To the female covert malignant narc who was jealous if me and didnt feel like the star of the show in our relationship and how she would abuse me and constantly try and cut me down and always do something to sabotage my happiness etc. I experienced it all because I didnt live life on the narc’s terms and u know what those terms are? They are validate my false sense of self. Never look better than me, do better than me, be more successful than me, Never make me feel inferior in any way at all. Thats actually impossible cause they are so pathologically envious of everything all the time. But when they feel slighted it causes narc injury and they are gonna be in attack mode with you. Narc rage and wrath is coming. It is sick…
Yes, thank you for explaining that. It helps because now I know it's not me, it's just that they all do exactly the same abuse. They dump everything on us and rip away any happiness we have. It's torture.
@@ab-kh4hm Yes they need a scapegoat to dump all their dysfunction and inner turmoil and low self esteem onto. Its called projection. Whaterver names they call others is what they are and whatever they accuse others of doing is what they are doing. Usually the people they claim are trying to destroy them are the very people they are trying to destroy. It doesnt matter if they are speaking positively or negatively about someone else(most times its gonna be negative) Through their smear tactics against you. 🙄 Just the fact that they are keeping that person's name in their mouth or whatever stupid shyt they have going on is a tell tell sign and red flag that that is who they are scapegoating and who they are jealous and envious of. You are not crazy you are just dealing with a narcissist. smh
Thank you. This was a great explanation. It explains why talking about my feelings made him declare I was making him angry. I wasn't playing the role he had given me by having those emotions.
Your explanations of medical terms is refreshing, I have seen this “extension of themselves” written everywhere but nobody actually explained it as clearly as you. You are honestly one of the best on internet. after seeing one of your videos I was very impressed with your understanding and clear explanations, I decided to watch all your videos since I noticed there are many many narcissists out there, hello from 🇨🇦
Thank you! I appreciate that!
Yeah, this is a concept that I have trouble understanding.
As a toddler I don't remember caring; because being so very young; toddler has no clue of understanding anything other than their hungry or wants to play with something. But I totally understand this video. It seems narcissist never grew from being a toddler (emotionally) it's a disfunction they are stuck in a toddler's emotional state, and they may not understand the depth of their own emotions. Thank you for sharing your video it's educational and informative 🤔
Ok so this was made a year ago, I'm all about your videos. Watch and learn almost every day! How am I just getting to this one. Literally just blew my mind. This explanation completely put everything to place for a lot of things that they do. Thank you as always 😍
Recently I subscribed to your channel after watching one of your video's. I am currently watching all your video's from the beginning. I have been watching narcissistic abuse video's for about a year now and I must say: you are very good! You explain everything so well, I am very impressed! Thank you so much, I can't wait to watch the rest of your video's! Big hug from the Netherlands ❤
Thank you so much! I appreciate that! ❤️
Today I went kitchen table shopping with my mom who is a narc. What was interesting is the fact I new I had to ask her to come shopping!? She picked the table she liked when I picked a different table....oh my 😳!!! I held my ground and bought what I liked and could afford not what she wanted me to buy. Now my soul hurts after her painful attack!! Let's put it this way...I was put back n my place 😔!!! Crazy...such emotional pain over a kitchen table.....that I picked out!!
Yes, and that is unfortunately how it goes. Anything, no matter how big or small, can be used for manipulation or “punishment”.
What attack?
Great video as always !! I'd add that as an extension the narcissistic can use us as a dustbin, we become his or her negative "extension" so that he can maintain his or her illusion of aconflictual perfection .
Yes! Good point! Like a projected shadow.
This is GOLD
This is soo insightful and well explained, and deep! Like no wonder they could never support your goals or dreams cus like why the fuck would you have desires of your own? You're just an extension of them.
Spot on. Like you are a just a possession who exists to serve the narc.
A third hand..... An extension, without your own mind. His robott.
I learned a lot from this video. Very helpful
Brilliant observations!! Especially when you discuss the way we relate to actors portraying characters in a movie, and your discussion of how we likely did not see our mothers as actual people with lives beyond just being our mothers, when we were 3.
Excellent explanation. Thank you 😊
Really helped! I want to reiterate how much I appreciate your ability to articulate and clarify! Thank you, and May the Blesings Be.
Thank you
A great explanation
See it now
You’re welcome. Thanks for watching!
wow so clear. thank you so much
I agree mostly everything they say and do is contrived.
Amazing explanations on your channel. Very good, thank you for assisting others🎉
Really liking your hair this way… The other way is great too… Always learning a lot from your videos…. Thank you.
Thank you so much for the clarity in this video, it helps so much!
It sucks when its my employer and i choose to stay bc of the economic benefit. But i been leaening alot about this type of charscter and strategies to deal with them especially with their extreme manipulative tactics
When a narcs see someone they want to deceive you with. Do they see them as their next accessory. And will never attach emotionally to them. This is their next bragging right
Thank you.. Very well explained.
Thank you! Thanks for watching. 😊
A narcissistic basically wants us to be an NPC 😮
See the thing is they know how to separate themselves when its not beneficial to them. For example if im friend with or at least I think I am friends with Johnny and johnny is a covert malignant narcissist and I go and hypothetically rob a bank on my own. When I get convicted of armed robbery and get a 15 year jail sentence johnny wont volunteer to do those 15 years with me. He will say he is cool with me but i did the crime so I gotta do the time. Now say in another scenario I go put in some kinda extra legal work and make a nice amount of money and go and buy a new car. First off Johnny will be jealous then he will feel like I should have consulted with him before I got that new car. He will try abd make me feel like I need to get his permission to live my life and enjoy the fruits of my labor. Johnny will not be able to separate himself from me in that situation AND FEEL LIKE HE IS ENTITLED TO MY POSSESSIONS AND BELONGINGS WITHOUT HIM PUTTING IN THE EFFORT AND WORK TO GEY IT. You have to work and take risk for what u get but the narcissist feels it should just fall out the sky for them and they should have all the fruits of your labor. See how messed up these people are???
😂🎯🎯💯
You are an extension of the narcissist expected to be useful to their needs. You're not seen as your own person, someone who has their own hobbies, beliefs, or dreams. If you dare to expose any of these things it's a direct wound to the narcissist. Most times abusers really believe they are you and they cannot differentiate between you both. You can see this in their obsessive behaviors toward their victims. Their disbelief when the victim expresses discontentment and leaves the relationship, and mostly when the narc blames the victim for things they have themselves done, but the victim hasn't.
This may be a little off topic, but in another video you said that some narcissist keep one of their parents on a pedestal forever. This is something I have also witnessed myself, and I wonder if and how it relates to being an extension. Would it be that in such cases the parent was also narcissistic, treated the child as an extension, the child becomes a narcissist, too, and keeps the parent on a pedestal in some kind of enmeshment?
I think that’s definitely a possibility. People can be so complex. And maybe there is something to be said of the parent that caused the narcissism in the first place remaining the only person in the world whose opinion matters to the narcissist.
You should be teaching!
👍👍👍👍👍👍
😊
Hi I recently discovered your channel. I have a few questions, please let me know ur thoughts.
I left a narcissist 2 years ago by pressing charges. We don't have kids and were never married. Throughout the 2 years, he has indirectly contacted me many times. We had trial a few months ago but it got adjourned bc he lied on me and accused me of violating when I didn't. Trial is set for next year.
My questions are. : Since he's silent rn, do u think he's over It and I'm safe? When he's sentenced and serves jail time, do u think he'll leave me alone upon his release? I have a restraining order right now but once this is over, what are the chances of him coming near me? It's been a few years so I don't think he's that angry?
I wish there was some way to predict these things, but there really is no way to know. I think what is important to know is that anything is possible. We don’t have to live in fear, but we can still prepare as best we can for anything an abusive ex may try to do. Most of them eventually move on with time, but it is always a possibility that they could still be angry and could still come back.
I didn't like her, thats what i remember, she was uncaring and cruel, saying I'm going to put you in a hhome, i remember hating her, and then she left for good, she was npd, saw her again when i was 29, didnt go well, went no contact, she dead now, couldn't cared 💔 less, i didn't know her but i knew enough 💔!I knew people were autonomous always, but I only remember back to 4 or 3. I never thought they were me!
Yes I can tell with my sister, she doesn't even see me, I feel invisible, being with her is like being in a nasty black hole of uncaring, my other sister I thought was caring, she behaved this way but then I realised she was just putting on an act, she turned out to be cruel and mean , never listened, same as all other family members! But early on I was aware she thought I wasn't good enough, later I told her so, her reply was 'a weak 'yes I do! which proved she didnt!