You're a threat to them because they don't want you to expose them. But as times goes on. More and more people will see them for the narcissist that they really are. Leave them alone. Let them live their chaotic, dramatic, grandiose life. While you heal
The bottom line is the narcissist will continue doing the same things to you, just in different ways, for as long as you allow them to. They never change, they only get worse.
Very true! They never change. If it looks like change, it’s just altered behavior to get their needs met. Everything is about them. Took me years to fully understand this. It’s a survival mechanism they’ve adopted to in childhood and carried into adulthood. My ex said I was his wife and God told him. 1 month later I was discarded again 🤦♀️ now he’s saying “I’m trying to find my wife” to anybody who will believe him.
@@kellithomas9080I haven't have contact with my mother for three years, she is 86 yers. She is not giving up (in). I let her know some of what I know, and let her know I will deny what you have lied about me. I was to late,she had already Calle my entire kinfolk, crying and of course playing the offer..I sm alone and she get people who believes her to hand out they don't even known they are traumatize me over and over..she is a covered narc.The most difficult for me was seeing she rather see me dead than been exposed. That is still unbelievable in some ways.
If you catch a narcissist in the heat of rage, listen to them. That's when they tell on themselves and warn you of their intentions. They don't say the threats directly but they tell.
I want him to live a long life watching from afar at the amazing job I did with our sons ! He is watching I am doing so fantastic! The household is on a no contact with him ! Want him to live he can’t retire at 65 as he had plan - he will work hard or live with someone that have him on a short leash which will make him very unhappy but at that age he will have no choice
Lol the entire concept of Capitalism comes crashing down. The rich people and celebrities look like fools. They are after narcissistic supply and the variety of houses, cars, status are just props for a disordered person. The system of Capitalism is run by these fools for their advantage. It's manipulation and a lie how the economy and the politics of a nation have been designed. Their traits are intended to win and they manipulated us to work for them.
4:42 _”You’re supposed to believe these lies. It doesn’t matter if they’re not true. If you REALLY CARED about them, you’d BELIEVE these lies they’re telling.”_ Yeah. Wow.
From a Narcissist's perspective: You're the "bully" and they're they "victim" because you won't let them bully you, attack you, belittle you, berate you, use you and abuse you anymore and you continue to be their victim, willingly and without complain. It doesn't mean you're the bully. It doesn't mean they're the victim. It means you're no longer a rug mat for them to walk all over and wipe their mud all over, and them feeling entitled and totally justified to do it.
If you have never been a bully, but someone bullies you, even the most patient person will snap and say enough is enough.. As I like to phrase it the worm turns. Once that happens the jig is up and anyone worth their salt won't put up with it. So if you then stick around more fool you. Manipulation is neither fun or makes for a happy person. Ooh poor narc my heart bleeds for them.
Wow so the “bully” number is a common trait. Its amazing how I became a bully because I wouldnt respond to the abuse. The smear campaign is STILL going.
“Oh yea well all that ‘healthy communication’ as you call it is great for you, but I don’t operate like that. I operate through guilt trips, gaslighting, and punishing you every time I feel feelings I don’t like. You’re tying my hands, trying to get me to communicate like you. You’re controlling me!” -the narcissist
Truth! The person I had a situationship with always flipped things right back on me and always played the victim to the point where I had ENOUGH. I checked out of that toxic mess.
Changed my life, through God to study everything he showed me. Turning away from doing that in my opinion is not a good idea. Being the person I am today is all because of the wisdom I acquired...
Happened to me. After being diagnosed with Lupus, I went home and expected empathy and support, as I had helped take care of him and helped him get on disability. Imagine my surprise when he implied both my doctor and myself were lying about my diagnosis.
Our son was sick he couldn't handle our son being in hospital sick he couldn't get his head around why he's son should be getting treatment at hospital. No sympathy or empathic towards his son and when we came home he cancelled the fact our son was sick and he went straight to work and never cared to check on his son. This people are lost souls.
"They view you as a traitor" as betraying them when you're onto them that they're cheating on you. Because "you are taking control from them they feel entitled to." Whaaahow! Yes!
Oh, he did, he cried and he made sure he wasn’t hiding his relationship status on Facebook that he had “no idea why it wasn’t showing up.” Pft! lol. Right.
These are some horrible people. I just broke up with my narcissistic bf 11 days ago. I had to go No Contact/Blocked. And i had exposed him for what he was. Changed my number, too! Just leave themband dont look back..Be strong!
How is your situation going ? I just broke up with mine a month ago, before I was moving out ,she would send text and try calling to say all the … “we can do this and make it work “ I responded , “ we never resolve anything “
@@GoogleUser-pc6tu Don't even bother responding. They get fuel from it whether your reaction is positive or negative, it will still feed them and their ego.
My daughter told me she has to cry silently at her mums when she misses me. Her mum gets angry and doesn't care and doesnt comfort her. She's the strongest person I've ever known. She's 7
@amarkajic9107 There's nothing worse than a narcissistic mother. I'm really really sorry for you and your daughter. As a father you can undo some (hopefully most) of the damage. Support your daughter, spend time with her, talk to her, tell her that you love her. For a child it really helps to know that the way narcissistic mother treats them is not their fault. My dad was there for me. I wouldn't make it without him. Forever grateful for all sacrifices he made to give me and my brother an almost normal childhood. Keep going. You can't give up
They turn it around on you and start saying “I’ve figured you out! You’re afraid of commitment! I’m getting really tired of your manipulation and your gaslighting”. This was all said after she dumped me! Which I thought was somewhat paradoxical and typical of her nonsense and unreasonableness.
Count your blessings the mask fell off before you had her spawn and that you have this information. You cannot imagine the lifetime affects of destruction from these demons wreak.
Don’t assume they have lines they won’t cross They’re not your friend. Just because you thought you knew them All you know is you don’t know them at all It’s been 6 months and I still struggle with this 😢
@@anne-louisegoldie Exactly...never assume they have lines they won't cross bcuz they will ALWAYS excuse or validate their boundary indiscretions with plausible denial Don't believe the lies of their perceived truth ... When they say they would never cheat
I hate it when people say oh I know you and then they actually don't but they just say they do they just want you to think that they're not a narcissist. The shallow fake and Evil
I have never dealt with a narcissist until recently, but i put a stop to it. People like that will completely stress you out and its not worth it. They are trash honestly.
When all the Narc's in my life knew I was onto them they separated themselves by going silent or MIS missing in action for FEAR of being exposed BUT if they sense weakness in you, they will HOOVER you in hopes to play on your vulnerability you have with them.
They are literally doing the things they accuse you of sometimes. Thank you for sharing your insight, this is so accurate and you are so good at straight-forward communication.
I tried to talk about certain ignoring behavior in general, didn't even blame them or accuse them of anything. In fact, was kind of thinking my other friend. How did my narc friend react? "LISTEN TO YOURSELF!!" "You're too sensitive" "You're so defensive" "Your shield just gets up" "No wonder people disappear from around you" "At least I love people the way they are" "Aren't friends supposed to show love and compassion?" "Even your mom says you're unreasonable" "No wonder your other good friend ghosts you" "You're impossible" "It's impossible to talk with you, I've tried" "You don't understand people at all" "You're delusional" "You've learned nothing" ...all I tried to talk about was why ignore someone and what attitude should people have about messaging and communication. I didn't even point it towards anyone.
Very well said… you just described my husband very well. The discovery that I was dealing with a NARCISSIST is unbearable. Most will never fathom the excruciating pain one feels of having been betrayed and for having been so naive thinking that everything will eventually turn out right.😢😢😢😢
I know exactly how you feel! It's devastating! You feel crushed and your heart shattered. It's worse when they cruelly discard you after a major surgery, leaving you broken and having to deal with healing not just your body, but also your heart and soul as well.
I was married to her for 20 years and had no idea that she was a narcissist. I saw the suspect sneaky behavior but I ignored it. However, in 2023 she could not contain the mask and she discarded/divorced me in 2023. The night before I moved I saw a demon with black eyes and a demonic smirk. That was enough for me, you can't unsee what you have seen!
@@viewerwatching5712I am Christian and I definitely believe the root is spiritual simply evil..they have strongholds of demonic infestation or OUTRIGHT possession. There is a spiritual component to this as we are fighting unseen spiritual warfare.
Yes, that summs it up. They hate loosing their control of the situations. They want to keep everything only the way they want to, as a result they don't function like normal healthy people do.
The ex posted this on his facebook page and people posted the care emoji: "When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did.” Poor baby!!
Exactly the same as my narcissist did, writing on social media how unpleasant it was to "go from idealized to discarded" and how wrong it is to "give up on people". This was after decades of insidious gaslighting, putdowns and them trying to make me doubt myself. I finally called the narcissist out and what unfolded made me realize there was no point in trying to talk it out anymore, so I cut it off, but in a "nice way". Sorry but I never "idealized" the narcissist, I was just really patient and did not want to give up for a long time, until I did not have a choice any more if I was going to have any sort of integrity. They definitely accuse you of exactly what they themselves are doing !
@@Anonymous-sf7oeit is simply evil..they fully know what they are doing ..are selective on whom they abuse,defraud,deceive. Pray for God's protection in Jesus mighty name.
It's not so much that you figure THEM out, it's that you figure YOURSELF out: what you will tolerate, what loving yourself means, what beautiful qualities are innate in you. In short: who you are.
Very accurate. The empty threats or the narcissist's attempts to totally misrepresent facts before their victim relates the truth particularly resonate.
Yes, in my experience they move incredibly fast when they realize they lost control of you. Two other points that especially resonated with me. 1. They aren't heartbroken, though it appears that way. The prime narcissist in my life is like an extremely gifted method actor. It's like a skill they have subconsciously developed, because for them it's about survival of their ego, and not being unmasked. They are upset that they've lost control. I think ultimately that in turn brings on an incredible amount of fear, because if they've lost control, you may unmask them further. Publicly. Bringing on public shame, which is kryptonite to them. My experience, is that they almost feel like their life is threatened after they have been called out. I interpret that as someone who genuinely feels frightened. They react as if they're very life and existence is in jeopardy. As if they are in deep peril. From their perspective, their very being is in jeopardy. Being unmasked to them feels like the ego being killed. 2. Think like them. A " looking behind the mirror" staple, and SO VERY HELPFUL. Not because we are trying to be empathetic, or caring, or think we can fix them... That's the trap. Rather, it helps us to see their alternate reality, how extremely divergent it is from reality, and hence makes us better able to protect ourselves. It's akin to thinking like the enemy. In a previous video, mirror indicated that this is like a war. This is exactly my experience. I didn't choose this work, I am not a fighter, but after a forest full of olive branches, and nothing but abuse in return, it would be nothing but foolhardy appeasement to keep going in the same direction.
I was with my ex wife for 20 years, God pulled me out and I went no contact for the past 5 months and my life couldn't be better! Ask God to help you get out, your not helpless, stay encouraged God is real!
I've been dealing with one narc after another my whole life. It's no wonder I'm ill! It's amazing how you realize that they have zero affection for you after you've done SO much for them! This goes for neighbors, family members, lovers, friends, and spouses. So they view us as like toasters that spit out their toast in their faces? 😄🍞
There is that aspect to it. They also prioritize giving the appearance of success, fulfillment, a deep inner life rather than the reality of those things.
I’m sorry but that is just simply not true one of my domestic abusing exes (went to jail after attacking me) I had to beg him to take showers and he didn’t care about physical appearance at all. This is a myth you are perpetuating
I'm living in real time and I feel stronger than ever. My walk is back. My talk is back. My support system sees it. One close girlfriend told me. I'm back. It still hurts somedays but guess what I have a crush...ssshhh....😅😅😅...I still need time but I will love again❤
Oh ya I asked my covert narc if we could get together and talk about something that was bothering me and he met that with a 3+ week silent treatment. So immature and controlling. This had happened before so o decided I don’t operate this way and I’m not going to be with anyone who operates this way. Then I catch him at the gym sniffing around some other girl while still giving me the silent treatment. I ended it that day. Done not playing mind games at 62 years old. Took back my power and feel so much better.
Was friends with a couple for 35 plus years- husband passed - wife covert … relationship with wife did not last long. She thought she had control over me as a dear friend- to her surprise NOT. I had called her out being FAKE all these years. Your so,so right about broken ego & not a broken heart.
My husband and I don't have a relationship with his narcissistic brother and SIL, so after 5 years of coldness, silent treatments, passive-aggressiveness, competitions, you name it, I cut off the relationship. I told my in-laws we were no longer going to do stuff with the brother and SIL. (My MIL is still pushing for a fake relationship though, because she's a narc too.) The brother and SIL suddenly want a "do-over"--they told my MIL not us--but we've kept our distance. Recently my husband's brother texted him happy birthday, something he's NEVER done in my husband's lifetime.... Desperation, indeed. The brother and SIL want to keep their "good" facades on, and I'm just smashing it to the ground where they place us all. I'm not falling for it, and I never have.
The toxicity a narcissist spews knows no shame. I've had a narcissist speak down to me in front of family just to bait me. It's EXTREMELY hard to survive this sustained mental attack.
I love reading the comments on your videos. It's awesome to see how many people you're helping. It's equally enjoyable to imagine narcissists seething with rage as they watch the videos and read the comments!
I'm actually glad I was discarded. Not in the moment, oh no. In the moment of the discard I had been gaslit so bad my brain was like shorting out. BUT, after having been discarded so harshly after having done nothing wrong [except putting up a boundary to protect myself], I knew there was some kind of pathology behind how she had behaved and acted because it was so foreign and bizarre to me. It also baffled the hell outta me how she was NOT the person who she had portrayed herself to be since I had known her from first grade. THAT was the real reason why she was so jealous of me. Because I know who I am. I always have. She has no identity. Main point I wanted to get across was that the harshness of the discard helped me to learn about narcissism and begin to heal. No contact is the best way. Just like the discard was harsh and horrible for you, being indifferent and never communicating again with a narcissist delivers them a crushing blow and lets them know you can never be controlled by them ever again.
The exact same thing happened to me ! You think you know someone so well, trust them and you see them in a certain light from so long ago. Looking back, gradually through the years there have been red flags that pop up here and there but you choose to overlook them because you like this person, and after all nobody is perfect, right? Then came the moment when I was gaslit in a way that could not be explained away, and major cognitive dissonance took place within me. When I stood my ground and refused to be gaslit then out came a fury that I had never seen before and was completely disproportionate. After refusing to give in to the anger there was pleading from the narcissists part... I think that the more we learn and understand about narcissism and the healthier we get ourselves when it comes to boundaries and self-awareness, the more we can see these traits all around us and we can easier reevaluate old relationships and see them in a new light. But it hurts really bad to realize that the realtionship was not what you thought it was. I was also the subject of envy. Being envied, I can take, because after all it can be something that many people struggle with and you don't have to be a bad person to struggle with envy. But what was far worse was that I realized that I was systematically being undermined and made to doubt myself and my perception of events, when I was looking for advice or reassurance about something. That, to me is something completely different - that is just evil.
its a very definite pattern of behaviour once you understand what it is .its actually not about the individuals so much as a defence mechanism thats extremely dangerous to be around.unfortunately or fortunately once you know it, you do see it everywhere. i just walk away at the first sign, if im wrong then i think better to be safe than sorry.
These are disgusting behaviors. I almost wanted to puke listening to this because this is EXACTLY how these narcs are! Not even eye contact. Can't they please just understand that they don't matter to me because it's sickening having to ensure with the nasty attitudes and bitterness for long periods of time. They're weakness is appalling. They call that game? Yea right🥴 They just need to get away from people in general. Nasty begets nasty. Ugly personalities stay with their own " kind" of people. It's a waste sharing positive feelings and emotions with the devil narcs. I'm not interested in these people. I figured them out and it's a NO!
You have described these dynamics and behaviors so accurately! I experienced all of it just like you said and much more. My narcissist ex is also an obsessive stalker on top of being a total fraud and vicious abuser (verbal, mental, emotional and sexual). I’ve been suffering from his repeated stalking for 2 years since I left him, and despite having a PPO against him and being convicted several times, he has not stopped! After what I have seen from him in the relationship and post-separation, I know he is capable of doing way more evil than I can ever imagine. I wish the Justice system would take stalking cases and repeated violations of court orders much more seriously before it’s too late for the victims. I pray every day that he would move on and never get anywhere near me ever again.
You must have been a great supply for him, this is why he does not want to let you go. In his mind you did not have a good heart you are a fool, and he will never find anyone as gullible as you ever again. So happy you have wised up, and pray that it will stink through his hard head that you will not take him back. It's tough being a good person with a good heart. 💕 Good luck to you.
Every single word this kind hearted and compassionate woman said I find to be 100% accurate because I have lived it. You are helping people, I know this because you have helped me with your content. Thank you.
Had to pause and let out a laugh with the egg beater in your brain analogy. You are so accurate. Good, clear explanations. IMO the smear campaign is the worst.
Yes, in my personal experience the smear is the worst part because they know WHO to spread the information to in order to create the most damage and confusion.
They will tell you how it's your fault and that you have caused everything they have done. And how they can never trust you again. They are always the victim. Any criticism is an attack. And they will get you back. So be careful.
i figured it out and still stayed until i had nothing left at all. 10years. That’s what i have to live with now, the fact that i stayed and kept trying kept hoping
This is the best narcissism channel I have listened to, outside of HG Tudor. Phenomenal freedom in learning from this lovely young woman. Thank you very, very much!
This is my first TH-cam comment ever…It’s been 4 years this summer since the discard and I have watched a million of these narcissism videos and yours stated coming up recently and you are so terrific. What touched a nerve in me is the story about the cancer. My husband had brain cancer for 10 years and really used it against me and my kids. The circumstances surrounding his death were awful. He activated his whole family- had 3 sisters who set out to destroy us. He died 2 1/2 years ago and I am still dealing with a particularly malignant narcissist sister in law. Anyway, could you do a video on the terminally ill narcissist? It’s a very dangerous situation. I’m hoping you’ll respond. ❤
Just broke up with my now 63 ex a month ago It’s amazing they have made it this far in life with their contemptuous behavior Stay strong , it’s difficult when you love the illusion
Ive gone no response in the workplace with my narc and it has helped a lot but I finally found a new job and in a week I will be going full no contact which will be much better
Congratulations!! I’ve been in that position and I’ve also celebrated with close friends who have gotten out of toxic work environments. I’m so glad you’ve found a way out!
It is exactly like you describe. They start with "I'm so concerned about her, she is becoming unstable/paranoid/volatile". They groom the people around to not believe you once you start telling the truth. Crazy making.
His mind games almost killed me. He lied from day 1. Day freaking 1. Then, blamed me for getting angry. Im in therapy and moving forward. I still cry every day and I am easily triggered, but hes gone on to his new soulmate lol. I begged him to stop. Begged. Ill never be that naive woman again.
Thank you so much, that is exactly what I am going through, everytime he wants to talk, the whole manipulation tactics come in, he is the victim. Shame on them, I just want to get away as far as possible 🙏
When I was dealing with the peak of my symptoms first she told me that she has caught Covid and how terrible she was feeling , and that her aunt who had cancer has died and another cousin of her has died . Since she was saying how bad the Covid was I assumed she must have taken time off , but she said she went to work even on that day , hidddn meaning was that she does not let illnesses interfere with her work , whereas I was totally immobilized by a very different issue that no specialist was even able to diagnose because of the deep injury she had caused me , what she called “just an accident” , the message was so clear that I must be a weak person to be so immobilized. During the course of last two years I have realized how many people actually become suicidal despite family support , that I did not have , when faced with the kind of medical complications I have had , and for her to imply by comparing my ordeal with self limited duration of Covid in a healthy adult was so cruel!
Nailed the scenario of threats. SAHM and physician husband were divorcing (he filed). He had come into a situation where he no longer had to work but retained full income and threatened to take full custody of the kids. And that she would be in a one bedroom apartment, working full time to sustain it after being out of the work force for 20 years. Since he wasn’t working anymore he couldn’t use work as a reason to not do anything around the house or for/with the kids. He couldn’t use work as a reason to destress and travel with his friends, sleep in, go out with his buddies, and not participate in the family. So he wanted a divorce. She has majority custody of one child, and full custody of another. She has half the assets, she and the children still live in their home. He pays alimony and child support. But yes, he went on a smear campaign to friends and family, and even straight to her face. He would tell her outlandish things that they both knew weren’t true.
I've come across two of these types in my life and if you have too, it's probably because your an empath. They seek out those who have genuine emotions and care for others. You and I would see caring, empathy, compassion etc and good qualities to have in another person. Narcs see it as a weakness to exploit. Your right, pointing out something they did with factual evidence is pointless because they don't live in reality. What they believe is their reality so evidence of something means nothing to narcissists so when you point out an abusive thing or mistake or fault they have, they typically respond with "well what about you when you did that thing over there." Its always about avoiding being accountable for anything. You show them evidence the sky is blue and if they have a vested interest to believe it's green then it's green and no amount of evidence is going to tell them different. They are special so they know it's green and because you and I are not special but we're stupid,.we think it's blue. This sounds ridiculous namely because it is absolutely ridiculous but your not dealing with a logical thinking adult when it's a narcissist. Your dealing with a toddler in an adults body who lives in a never never Peter Pan like world. As empaths, never underestimate the power we have against narcissists. When you see through their act and your understand this is actually a wolf presenting itself as a sheep, you just stop reacting to the buttons being pushed, just reply "that's your opinion, your entitled to it" and change the subject and don't let them draw you into their game. We can think and we feel, they only do the former and not very good at it, either. "the skys green, everybody knows that and agrees so I think I should know!" Ok that's fine, your welcome to your opinion. I disagree. What would you like for dinner. When that fails to get your reaction, time to pull ace card, or more appropriate, that victim card they always have up each sleeve and use it for their smear campaign.
This is info I have been LOOKING for - your videos hit subjects that few narcissist channels really hit on. I deeply appreciate what you are sharing and I HIGHLY relate to what you are saying. Thank you for bring some sanity to this insane situation!
You're absolutely brilliant at explaining the whole sordid thing. I had a boyfriend years ago who said he had leukemia, went through that charade. Then married a covert narcissist with sociopathic traits, 15 years trying to figure it out, 4 attempts at leaving, out now, protection order, so no contact. Educated myself this time and learned two vital new pieces of information - trauma bonding and narcissistic collapse. BUT I almost kept going even after planning to escape with a police report filed. He did a last Oscar deserving performance with manufactured tears and FINALLY owned up to something I'd waited for years to hear...it worked until I believe the Holy Spirit told me it was all fake. I was devastated i was duped again 😢 anyway, I'm done. He had a narcissist collapse and got a church to fall for his sob story. Incredible stuff isn't it. Thanks again for your fantastic help and support through this ❤
MY 2 SISTERS ARE NPD, BUT ITS THE MALIGNANT SIS I GREW UP WITH THAT I AM STRUGGLING TO DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE, A TRAUMA BOND I THINK, THERAPIST WAS USELESS, I AM STILL TRYING TO WORK OUT WHAT TO DO, HAVE NO CONTACT WITH THE OTHER ONE NOW, YAY! OH YES, I KEEP FORGETTING THEY THINK DIFFERENTLY, SHE KEEPS EVERYTHING SHE THINKS HIDDEN!
When I imagine the shame and regret that I feel when I make a terrible move in chess, that's probably the same feeling some people get from simply not getting their way every time.
I appreciate so much the way you go into depth and explain things in your videos, I have a more in-depth understanding about this evil and so called personality style!!!!!!!! This is just plain selfish and evil and wicked and mentally illness!!!!!!!!!!!! They are crazy!!!!!!!!!!
So true....I caught Covid from my ex narc...so my job gave me a week off...although i told him i was weak and in pain...he started running down a list of errands that needed to be done since I was off....I didnt have it in me to question anything, i just knew I was going to lay my sick behind down and wasnt doing anything. Luckily, he didnt put any pressure on me that day...but he waited a few days later to tell me im not doing anything for the relationship....but i dont have to mention, i was always the one doing the most.....
Thank goodness for people like you that are using these platforms to help 7s educate ourselves and use learning tools to assist in coping with such individuals. I'm surrounded by them in my immediate family. My only protection was my parents and two grandmother's which are all deceased. I'm 57 years old and my only sister has been enemy number one since day one. By the grace of God have I been able to endure her attacks and also fight back, after all I am the older sister by 13 months and at least have 5 inches over her in height.....lol. Every little bit helps, trust me. Anyway I've come to grips that they will never change or acknowledge their wrong doings and unfortunately they get worse with age. We pray that they don't go from bad to worse but that's just a fantasy. May God help them and us. Not caring and focusing on yourself is a good way to start to detach from them. Sometimes I say if you can't beat them join them, not to stoop down to their level but to do more of the self centered things they do. Just be self absorbed and admit it, nothing wrong with taking care of yourself right? It's a must. As far as the guilt trips go maybe agree with them instead of getting on the defensive side. The using of unused energy was never worth it for me. I'm a lover not a fighter. And I've always had boyfriends by my side when I was younger. My narcissists are all of the women in my life. My aunts, my first cousins, my sister and a few friends. Like The Lord has said, Where there's one Judas there's seven more. Learn from the master and Lord Jesus Christ who is the prime example and victim of all. Even God had to go through it, so who am I to complain? Think about it. It's God's grace and wisdom that's giving each and every one of us the wisdom to understand these individuals. Obviously they simply don't have God, what's worse is they may have the evil one. Then you really must arm yourself. Not an easy task. Many are called but few are chosen. The truth will set you free.
Once you see, you can’t unsee again.
You're a threat to them because they don't want you to expose them. But as times goes on. More and more people will see them for the narcissist that they really are. Leave them alone. Let them live their chaotic, dramatic, grandiose life. While you heal
Ripped his mask off!! Then NO CONTACT EVER AGAIN!!!
The bottom line is the narcissist will continue doing the same things to you, just in different ways, for as long as you allow them to. They never change, they only get worse.
Very true! They never change. If it looks like change, it’s just altered behavior to get their needs met. Everything is about them. Took me years to fully understand this. It’s a survival mechanism they’ve adopted to in childhood and carried into adulthood. My ex said I was his wife and God told him. 1 month later I was discarded again 🤦♀️ now he’s saying “I’m trying to find my wife” to anybody who will believe him.
They don't change. My dad took it to his grave.
@@kellithomas9080I haven't have contact with my mother for three years, she is 86 yers. She is not giving up (in). I let her know some of what I know, and let her know I will deny what you have lied about me. I was to late,she had already Calle my entire kinfolk, crying and of course playing the offer..I sm alone and she get people who believes her to hand out they don't even known they are traumatize me over and over..she is a covered narc.The most difficult for me was seeing she rather see me dead than been exposed. That is still unbelievable in some ways.
Amen
Amen!😁
If you catch a narcissist in the heat of rage, listen to them. That's when they tell on themselves and warn you of their intentions. They don't say the threats directly but they tell.
I agree ❤
So very true
So true
Yessssssss. It’s a dynamic. Awareness is everything. Be aware, and they become predictable. I need help setting boundaries when threatened.
This video is helpful thank you
It’s life-changing when you find out.
It will change your LIFE.
Facts. It's like the scales fall off your eyes and God allows you to see through the vail.
I want him to live a long life watching from afar at the amazing job I did with our sons ! He is watching I am doing so fantastic! The household is on a no contact with him ! Want him to live he can’t retire at 65 as he had plan - he will work hard or live with someone that have him on a short leash which will make him very unhappy but at that age he will have no choice
Yea. Thats an understatement
Lol the entire concept of Capitalism comes crashing down. The rich people and celebrities look like fools. They are after narcissistic supply and the variety of houses, cars, status are just props for a disordered person. The system of Capitalism is run by these fools for their advantage. It's manipulation and a lie how the economy and the politics of a nation have been designed. Their traits are intended to win and they manipulated us to work for them.
Life will never be the same
4:42 _”You’re supposed to believe these lies. It doesn’t matter if they’re not true. If you REALLY CARED about them, you’d BELIEVE these lies they’re telling.”_
Yeah. Wow.
Uh huh, it’s nuts 🤯
From a Narcissist's perspective: You're the "bully" and they're they "victim" because you won't let them bully you, attack you, belittle you, berate you, use you and abuse you anymore and you continue to be their victim, willingly and without complain. It doesn't mean you're the bully. It doesn't mean they're the victim. It means you're no longer a rug mat for them to walk all over and wipe their mud all over, and them feeling entitled and totally justified to do it.
If you have never been a bully, but someone bullies you, even the most patient person will snap and say enough is enough.. As I like to phrase it the worm turns. Once that happens the jig is up and anyone worth their salt won't put up with it. So if you then stick around more fool you. Manipulation is neither fun or makes for a happy person. Ooh poor narc my heart bleeds for them.
*complaint
Wow so the “bully” number is a common trait. Its amazing how I became a bully because I wouldnt respond to the abuse. The smear campaign is STILL going.
“Oh yea well all that ‘healthy communication’ as you call it is great for you, but I don’t operate like that. I operate through guilt trips, gaslighting, and punishing you every time I feel feelings I don’t like. You’re tying my hands, trying to get me to communicate like you. You’re controlling me!” -the narcissist
Truth! The person I had a situationship with always flipped things right back on me and always played the victim to the point where I had ENOUGH. I checked out of that toxic mess.
You are Wasting Your Time Trying To Make Sense of their pathology. Just Run and find A New Life. This is The Best Advice You Will Ever Get!
👏👏👏
Changed my life, through God to study everything he showed me. Turning away from doing that in my opinion is not a good idea. Being the person I am today is all because of the wisdom I acquired...
Yes RUN STAY AWAY!! Have NO DEALING or CONTACT with them!!!
True talk
They tell on themselves. Just listen
Ex blew us up with catfished photos. Ran when caught.😮
@@debmccafferty1007they will accuse you of cheating when they are
When a health problem arises and they show no empathy, stoic , lack of emotion, just a blank stare
Happened to me. After being diagnosed with Lupus, I went home and expected empathy and support, as I had helped take care of him and helped him get on disability. Imagine my surprise when he implied both my doctor and myself were lying about my diagnosis.
You have no idea what stoic is.
In part; a stoic person is one who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or without complaining.
Or, they use it as a reason to do further damage.
Our son was sick he couldn't handle our son being in hospital sick he couldn't get his head around why he's son should be getting treatment at hospital. No sympathy or empathic towards his son and when we came home he cancelled the fact our son was sick and he went straight to work and never cared to check on his son. This people are lost souls.
Never has been about me, my needs were never met
Blam7ng and sham8ng others is a telling of narcissism
There is something about them that is fraudulent. Spot on !
Your self worth is paramount! They will move on to the next supply source!
"They view you as a traitor" as betraying them when you're onto them that they're cheating on you. Because "you are taking control from them they feel entitled to."
Whaaahow! Yes!
You are so right when you speak on how they view you. They feel betrayed that you have the audacity to set boundaries
They might even give you a fake apology.
Oh, he did, he cried and he made sure he wasn’t hiding his relationship status on Facebook that he had “no idea why it wasn’t showing up.” Pft! lol. Right.
Keep away from these people you don't need them, they are certainly not your friend and under no circumstances fall for their grovel!
I was with a spiritual covert narcissist for 4 years. I walked away and went no contact 9 months ago.
These are some horrible people. I just broke up with my narcissistic bf 11 days ago. I had to go No Contact/Blocked. And i had exposed him for what he was. Changed my number, too! Just leave themband dont look back..Be strong!
How is your situation going ? I just broke up with mine a month ago, before I was moving out ,she would send text and try calling to say all the … “we can do this and make it work “ I responded , “ we never resolve anything “
Also dealing with narc breakup. Good for you for taking action and leaving. It means that you love yourself.
@@GoogleUser-pc6tu Don't even bother responding. They get fuel from it whether your reaction is positive or negative, it will still feed them and their ego.
Whats sad is the children of a narcissist get abused too for their whole life.!
My daughter told me she has to cry silently at her mums when she misses me. Her mum gets angry and doesn't care and doesnt comfort her. She's the strongest person I've ever known. She's 7
@amarkajic9107 There's nothing worse than a narcissistic mother. I'm really really sorry for you and your daughter.
As a father you can undo some (hopefully most) of the damage. Support your daughter, spend time with her, talk to her, tell her that you love her.
For a child it really helps to know that the way narcissistic mother treats them is not their fault.
My dad was there for me. I wouldn't make it without him. Forever grateful for all sacrifices he made to give me and my brother an almost normal childhood.
Keep going. You can't give up
And by lovers and friends if they do not heal as adults
Yep! I was the Scapegoat Black Sheep Of A Rich,Powerful and Crafty Woman! She Hoovers Over Me, But I Believe She Wants Me Dead!
Truth definitely sounds crazier than fiction. The narcissist likes control of narrative.
You will always become the villain when you call out a narcissistic person and they will go out of their way to make others see it that way
For sure! Especially My Story! It’s Crazy To Me Even, When I Review It All In My Head!
They turn it around on you and start saying “I’ve figured you out! You’re afraid of commitment! I’m getting really tired of your manipulation and your gaslighting”. This was all said after she dumped me! Which I thought was somewhat paradoxical and typical of her nonsense and unreasonableness.
Count your blessings the mask fell off before you had her spawn and that you have this information. You cannot imagine the lifetime affects of destruction from these demons wreak.
"It's not my problem" words the Narcissist hate.
I've studied the subject intensely and this girl is the best one I've seen to put it in street terms
One of them.
Yes I agree she got it
Definitely one of the best communicators on the experience
I LIKE LEARNING FROM HER.
Check out Mami so true, she is my go to person.
Don’t assume they have lines they won’t cross
They’re not your friend. Just because you thought you knew them
All you know is you don’t know them at all
It’s been 6 months and I still struggle with this 😢
That first sentence, so accurate.
@@anne-louisegoldie
Exactly...never assume they have lines they won't cross bcuz they will ALWAYS excuse or validate their boundary indiscretions with plausible denial
Don't believe the lies of their perceived truth ...
When they say they would never cheat
I hate it when people say oh I know you and then they actually don't but they just say they do they just want you to think that they're not a narcissist.
The shallow fake and Evil
THEY ARE OUR ENEMIES.
I have never dealt with a narcissist until recently, but i put a stop to it. People like that will completely stress you out and its not worth it. They are trash honestly.
When people smear people ...they are perpetuating negativity whether true or not
I've definitely felt stupid for believing this person everything they said was a lie from the beginning but I realize that they prey on good people.
They can fool anyone, she fooled me for 20 years.
My fooled me for 32 years
When all the Narc's in my life knew I was onto them they separated themselves by going silent or MIS missing in action for FEAR of being exposed BUT if they sense weakness in you, they will HOOVER you in hopes to play on your vulnerability you have with them.
They are literally doing the things they accuse you of sometimes. Thank you for sharing your insight, this is so accurate and you are so good at straight-forward communication.
Thank you. Thanks for watching!
Projection--"You're having an affair", while they have side-people all over the place--that's their favourite (defense) mechanism...Run afayc(an)
I tried to talk about certain ignoring behavior in general, didn't even blame them or accuse them of anything. In fact, was kind of thinking my other friend. How did my narc friend react?
"LISTEN TO YOURSELF!!"
"You're too sensitive"
"You're so defensive"
"Your shield just gets up"
"No wonder people disappear from around you"
"At least I love people the way they are"
"Aren't friends supposed to show love and compassion?"
"Even your mom says you're unreasonable"
"No wonder your other good friend ghosts you"
"You're impossible"
"It's impossible to talk with you, I've tried"
"You don't understand people at all"
"You're delusional"
"You've learned nothing"
...all I tried to talk about was why ignore someone and what attitude should people have about messaging and communication. I didn't even point it towards anyone.
This woman has a very clear understanding of how narcs think and operate. This is some of the best info on the subject.
Absolutely
Radical acceptance is sooo real and necessary
they should be branded for the world to see!
They are branded. Anyone becomes a horrible narcissistic sociopath after a few years. Trying to live with someone the entire life is torture.
Awesome comment...better yet isolated..
Very well said… you just described my husband very well. The discovery that I was dealing with a NARCISSIST is unbearable. Most will never fathom the excruciating pain one feels of having been betrayed and for having been so naive thinking that everything will eventually turn out right.😢😢😢😢
I know exactly how you feel! It's devastating! You feel crushed and your heart shattered. It's worse when they cruelly discard you after a major surgery, leaving you broken and having to deal with healing not just your body, but also your heart and soul as well.
@@iramsavir5631
They will discard at the most inopportune time, and not lose a wink of sleep afterwards.
It’s so cold blooded.
I was married to her for 20 years and had no idea that she was a narcissist. I saw the suspect sneaky behavior but I ignored it. However, in 2023 she could not contain the mask and she discarded/divorced me in 2023. The night before I moved I saw a demon with black eyes and a demonic smirk. That was enough for me, you can't unsee what you have seen!
@@viewerwatching5712I am Christian and I definitely believe the root is spiritual simply evil..they have strongholds of demonic infestation or OUTRIGHT possession. There is a spiritual component to this as we are fighting unseen spiritual warfare.
They energetically come after pure goodhearted people.
I understood when she raged at a positive offer of help for her - she saw my offer as
one-upmanship ,and nobody is superior to her NOBODY!
Yes, that summs it up. They hate loosing their control of the situations. They want to keep everything only the way they want to, as a result they don't function like normal healthy people do.
When they lose you they lose narc supply great message ❤
The ex posted this on his facebook page and people posted the care emoji: "When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did.” Poor baby!!
😂😂😂😂 oh God.
He was definitely projecting! Pathetic
😢
Exactly the same as my narcissist did, writing on social media how unpleasant it was to "go from idealized to discarded" and how wrong it is to "give up on people".
This was after decades of insidious gaslighting, putdowns and them trying to make me doubt myself.
I finally called the narcissist out and what unfolded made me realize there was no point in trying to talk it out anymore, so I cut it off, but in a "nice way".
Sorry but I never "idealized" the narcissist, I was just really patient and did not want to give up for a long time, until I did not have a choice any more if I was going to have any sort of integrity.
They definitely accuse you of exactly what they themselves are doing !
@@Anonymous-sf7oeit is simply evil..they fully know what they are doing ..are selective on whom they abuse,defraud,deceive. Pray for God's protection in Jesus mighty name.
It's not so much that you figure THEM out, it's that you figure YOURSELF out: what you will tolerate, what loving yourself means, what beautiful qualities are innate in you. In short: who you are.
Amen!!!!!
Very accurate. The empty threats or the narcissist's attempts to totally misrepresent facts before their victim relates the truth particularly resonate.
Yes, in my experience they move incredibly fast when they realize they lost control of you.
Two other points that especially resonated with me.
1. They aren't heartbroken, though it appears that way. The prime narcissist in my life is like an extremely gifted method actor.
It's like a skill they have subconsciously developed, because for them it's about survival of their ego, and not being unmasked.
They are upset that they've lost control. I think ultimately that in turn brings on an incredible amount of fear, because if they've lost control, you may unmask them further. Publicly. Bringing on public shame, which is kryptonite to them.
My experience, is that they almost feel like their life is threatened after they have been called out. I interpret that as someone who genuinely feels frightened. They react as if they're very life and existence is in jeopardy. As if they are in deep peril.
From their perspective, their very being is in jeopardy. Being unmasked to them feels like the ego being killed.
2. Think like them. A " looking behind the mirror" staple, and SO VERY HELPFUL.
Not because we are trying to be empathetic, or caring, or think we can fix them... That's the trap. Rather, it helps us to see their alternate reality, how extremely divergent it is from reality, and hence makes us better able to protect ourselves.
It's akin to thinking like the enemy. In a previous video, mirror indicated that this is like a war. This is exactly my experience. I didn't choose this work, I am not a fighter, but after a forest full of olive branches, and nothing but abuse in return, it would be nothing but foolhardy appeasement to keep going in the same direction.
@@bhabi7071 , very well put indeed!
Mine never begged or pleaded and said sorry. She went on full blown attack, even stronger to reinforce the lie.
It took me 8 years to figure out my husband was a covert narcissist. But, I’m trauma bonded so I’m still with him! And it sucks! 😢😢😢
I was with my ex wife for 20 years, God pulled me out and I went no contact for the past 5 months and my life couldn't be better! Ask God to help you get out, your not helpless, stay encouraged God is real!
@@viewerwatching5712absolutely.The root is spiritual.
Narcs Use & Abuse in every way every day
Thank you for this, always good to remember to never go back.
I've been dealing with one narc after another my whole life. It's no wonder I'm ill! It's amazing how you realize that they have zero affection for you after you've done SO much for them! This goes for neighbors, family members, lovers, friends, and spouses. So they view us as like toasters that spit out their toast in their faces? 😄🍞
👍👍👍
Narcissism is caring more about physical appearance, than health and wellbeing.
There is that aspect to it. They also prioritize giving the appearance of success, fulfillment, a deep inner life rather than the reality of those things.
I’m sorry but that is just simply not true one of my domestic abusing exes (went to jail after attacking me) I had to beg him to take showers and he didn’t care about physical appearance at all. This is a myth you are perpetuating
I'm living in real time and I feel stronger than ever. My walk is back. My talk is back. My support system sees it. One close girlfriend told me. I'm back. It still hurts somedays but guess what I have a crush...ssshhh....😅😅😅...I still need time but I will love again❤
😢 I can hardly imagine myself there now.
"Narcissists don't get broken hearts, they get broken egos" Wow, right on point.
You are one of those people who are superb at explaining narcissist's and their victims.
Oh ya I asked my covert narc if we could get together and talk about something that was bothering me and he met that with a 3+ week silent treatment. So immature and controlling. This had happened before so o decided I don’t operate this way and I’m not going to be with anyone who operates this way. Then I catch him at the gym sniffing around some other girl while still giving me the silent treatment. I ended it that day. Done not playing mind games at 62 years old. Took back my power and feel so much better.
Was friends with a couple for 35 plus years- husband passed - wife covert … relationship with wife did not last long. She thought she had control over me as a dear friend- to her surprise NOT. I had called her out being FAKE all these years. Your so,so right about broken ego & not a broken heart.
I wish I could like this 100 times. Everything you have said is completely accurate.
My husband and I don't have a relationship with his narcissistic brother and SIL, so after 5 years of coldness, silent treatments, passive-aggressiveness, competitions, you name it, I cut off the relationship. I told my in-laws we were no longer going to do stuff with the brother and SIL. (My MIL is still pushing for a fake relationship though, because she's a narc too.) The brother and SIL suddenly want a "do-over"--they told my MIL not us--but we've kept our distance. Recently my husband's brother texted him happy birthday, something he's NEVER done in my husband's lifetime.... Desperation, indeed. The brother and SIL want to keep their "good" facades on, and I'm just smashing it to the ground where they place us all. I'm not falling for it, and I never have.
This is not up to you. If you not gonna do anything to get those brothers close, don't do anything to separate them.
The toxicity a narcissist spews knows no shame. I've had a narcissist speak down to me in front of family just to bait me. It's EXTREMELY hard to survive this sustained mental attack.
I love reading the comments on your videos. It's awesome to see how many people you're helping. It's equally enjoyable to imagine narcissists seething with rage as they watch the videos and read the comments!
I’m sure most narcissists think I’m talking about the people they’ve victimized. Very few would realize that I’m talking about them.
I'm actually glad I was discarded. Not in the moment, oh no. In the moment of the discard I had been gaslit so bad my brain was like shorting out. BUT, after having been discarded so harshly after having done nothing wrong [except putting up a boundary to protect myself], I knew there was some kind of pathology behind how she had behaved and acted because it was so foreign and bizarre to me. It also baffled the hell outta me how she was NOT the person who she had portrayed herself to be since I had known her from first grade. THAT was the real reason why she was so jealous of me. Because I know who I am. I always have. She has no identity. Main point I wanted to get across was that the harshness of the discard helped me to learn about narcissism and begin to heal. No contact is the best way. Just like the discard was harsh and horrible for you, being indifferent and never communicating again with a narcissist delivers them a crushing blow and lets them know you can never be controlled by them ever again.
The exact same thing happened to me !
You think you know someone so well, trust them and you see them in a certain light from so long ago. Looking back, gradually through the years there have been red flags that pop up here and there but you choose to overlook them because you like this person, and after all nobody is perfect, right?
Then came the moment when I was gaslit in a way that could not be explained away, and major cognitive dissonance took place within me.
When I stood my ground and refused to be gaslit then out came a fury that I had never seen before and was completely disproportionate.
After refusing to give in to the anger there was pleading from the narcissists part...
I think that the more we learn and understand about narcissism and the healthier we get ourselves when it comes to boundaries and self-awareness, the more we can see these traits all around us and we can easier reevaluate old relationships and see them in a new light.
But it hurts really bad to realize that the realtionship was not what you thought it was. I was also the subject of envy. Being envied, I can take, because after all it can be something that many people struggle with and you don't have to be a bad person to struggle with envy.
But what was far worse was that I realized that I was systematically being undermined and made to doubt myself and my perception of events, when I was looking for advice or reassurance about something.
That, to me is something completely different - that is just evil.
its a very definite pattern of behaviour once you understand what it is .its actually not about the individuals so much as a defence mechanism thats extremely dangerous to be around.unfortunately or fortunately once you know it, you do see it everywhere. i just walk away at the first sign, if im wrong then i think better to be safe than sorry.
These are disgusting behaviors. I almost wanted to puke listening to this because this is EXACTLY how these narcs are!
Not even eye contact. Can't they please just understand that they don't matter to me because it's sickening having to ensure with the nasty attitudes and bitterness for long periods of time.
They're weakness is appalling.
They call that game? Yea right🥴
They just need to get away from people in general.
Nasty begets nasty.
Ugly personalities stay with their own " kind" of people.
It's a waste sharing positive feelings and emotions with the devil narcs.
I'm not interested in these people.
I figured them out and it's a NO!
You have described these dynamics and behaviors so accurately! I experienced all of it just like you said and much more. My narcissist ex is also an obsessive stalker on top of being a total fraud and vicious abuser (verbal, mental, emotional and sexual). I’ve been suffering from his repeated stalking for 2 years since I left him, and despite having a PPO against him and being convicted several times, he has not stopped! After what I have seen from him in the relationship and post-separation, I know he is capable of doing way more evil than I can ever imagine. I wish the Justice system would take stalking cases and repeated violations of court orders much more seriously before it’s too late for the victims. I pray every day that he would move on and never get anywhere near me ever again.
You must have been a great supply for him, this is why he does not want to let you go.
In his mind you did not have a good heart you are a fool, and he will never find anyone as gullible as you ever again. So happy you have wised up, and pray that it will stink through his hard head that you will not take him back.
It's tough being a good person with a good heart. 💕 Good luck to you.
Empaths and narcissists/psychopaths are totally different species.
Just like dolphins are totally different from sharks.
Every single word this kind hearted and compassionate woman said I find to be 100% accurate because I have lived it. You are helping people, I know this because you have helped me with your content. Thank you.
It's depressing... really depressing but it's also absolutely spot on. This sounds all too familiar.
Really clear, easy to understand and helpful. Even though you caveat that you’re not a professional this content is high quality. Thank you 🙏
I tried being nice but know it's just more beneficial to focus on myself.
Had to pause and let out a laugh with the egg beater in your brain analogy. You are so accurate. Good, clear explanations. IMO the smear campaign is the worst.
Yes, in my personal experience the smear is the worst part because they know WHO to spread the information to in order to create the most damage and confusion.
As far as getting worse, they find ways to do the same things but in different ways untill you just laugh because they really are not worth it.
They will tell you how it's your fault and that you have caused everything they have done. And how they can never trust you again. They are always the victim. Any criticism is an attack. And they will get you back. So be careful.
i figured it out and still stayed until i had nothing left at all. 10years. That’s what i have to live with now, the fact that i stayed and kept trying kept hoping
The “sorry for everything” triggered my spidey sense. Almost said as a rehearsed line without substance and genuine awareness to what was done.
Its Always about them in ALL ways 💥💣
This is the best narcissism channel I have listened to, outside of HG Tudor. Phenomenal freedom in learning from this lovely young woman. Thank you very, very much!
Why worse when finally figure out your parent is a narcissist and they have been playing you your whole life .
This is my first TH-cam comment ever…It’s been 4 years this summer since the discard and I have watched a million of these narcissism videos and yours stated coming up recently and you are so terrific. What touched a nerve in me is the story about the cancer. My husband had brain cancer for 10 years and really used it against me and my kids. The circumstances surrounding his death were awful. He activated his whole family- had 3 sisters who set out to destroy us. He died 2 1/2 years ago and I am still dealing with a particularly malignant narcissist sister in law. Anyway, could you do a video on the terminally ill narcissist? It’s a very dangerous situation. I’m hoping you’ll respond. ❤
Everything thing you said is true I'm dealing with one and he is 63 year old I tell him as
Just broke up with my now 63 ex a month ago
It’s amazing they have made it this far in life with their contemptuous behavior
Stay strong , it’s difficult when you love the illusion
Ive gone no response in the workplace with my narc and it has helped a lot but I finally found a new job and in a week I will be going full no contact which will be much better
Congratulations!! I’ve been in that position and I’ve also celebrated with close friends who have gotten out of toxic work environments. I’m so glad you’ve found a way out!
Thank you I cannot wait for the freedom
It is exactly like you describe. They start with "I'm so concerned about her, she is becoming unstable/paranoid/volatile". They groom the people around to not believe you once you start telling the truth. Crazy making.
His mind games almost killed me. He lied from day 1. Day freaking 1. Then, blamed me for getting angry. Im in therapy and moving forward. I still cry every day and I am easily triggered, but hes gone on to his new soulmate lol. I begged him to stop. Begged. Ill never be that naive woman again.
Their jig is UP!!!!
Thank you so much, that is exactly what I am going through, everytime he wants to talk, the whole manipulation tactics come in, he is the victim.
Shame on them, I just want to get away as far as possible 🙏
You explain the abuse and them in such a way that I know you went through some shit to get that wisdom. I relate deeply. Thank you for your content.
You have to forgive yourself for making the mistake of being fooled by them and no contact them forever.
When I was dealing with the peak of my symptoms first she told me that she has caught Covid and how terrible she was feeling , and that her aunt who had cancer has died and another cousin of her has died . Since she was saying how bad the Covid was I assumed she must have taken time off , but she said she went to work even on that day , hidddn meaning was that she does not let illnesses interfere with her work , whereas I was totally immobilized by a very different issue that no specialist was even able to diagnose because of the deep injury she had caused me , what she called “just an accident” , the message was so clear that I must be a weak person to be so immobilized. During the course of last two years I have realized how many people actually become suicidal despite family support , that I did not have , when faced with the kind of medical complications I have had , and for her to imply by comparing my ordeal with self limited duration of Covid in a healthy adult was so cruel!
I literally think the family "support"is what makes people delete themself.jus saying God is better than a resentful relative.
This video changed my life. Thank you so much for helping me heal.
All analysis absolutely correct.. spot on.
Nailed the scenario of threats. SAHM and physician husband were divorcing (he filed). He had come into a situation where he no longer had to work but retained full income and threatened to take full custody of the kids. And that she would be in a one bedroom apartment, working full time to sustain it after being out of the work force for 20 years. Since he wasn’t working anymore he couldn’t use work as a reason to not do anything around the house or for/with the kids. He couldn’t use work as a reason to destress and travel with his friends, sleep in, go out with his buddies, and not participate in the family. So he wanted a divorce.
She has majority custody of one child, and full custody of another. She has half the assets, she and the children still live in their home. He pays alimony and child support.
But yes, he went on a smear campaign to friends and family, and even straight to her face. He would tell her outlandish things that they both knew weren’t true.
I've come across two of these types in my life and if you have too, it's probably because your an empath. They seek out those who have genuine emotions and care for others. You and I would see caring, empathy, compassion etc and good qualities to have in another person. Narcs see it as a weakness to exploit.
Your right, pointing out something they did with factual evidence is pointless because they don't live in reality. What they believe is their reality so evidence of something means nothing to narcissists so when you point out an abusive thing or mistake or fault they have, they typically respond with "well what about you when you did that thing over there." Its always about avoiding being accountable for anything.
You show them evidence the sky is blue and if they have a vested interest to believe it's green then it's green and no amount of evidence is going to tell them different. They are special so they know it's green and because you and I are not special but we're stupid,.we think it's blue. This sounds ridiculous namely because it is absolutely ridiculous but your not dealing with a logical thinking adult when it's a narcissist. Your dealing with a toddler in an adults body who lives in a never never Peter Pan like world.
As empaths, never underestimate the power we have against narcissists. When you see through their act and your understand this is actually a wolf presenting itself as a sheep, you just stop reacting to the buttons being pushed, just reply "that's your opinion, your entitled to it" and change the subject and don't let them draw you into their game. We can think and we feel, they only do the former and not very good at it, either.
"the skys green, everybody knows that and agrees so I think I should know!"
Ok that's fine, your welcome to your opinion. I disagree. What would you like for dinner.
When that fails to get your reaction, time to pull ace card, or more appropriate, that victim card they always have up each sleeve and use it for their smear campaign.
This is info I have been LOOKING for - your videos hit subjects that few narcissist channels really hit on. I deeply appreciate what you are sharing and I HIGHLY relate to what you are saying. Thank you for bring some sanity to this insane situation!
You're absolutely brilliant at explaining the whole sordid thing. I had a boyfriend years ago who said he had leukemia, went through that charade.
Then married a covert narcissist with sociopathic traits, 15 years trying to figure it out, 4 attempts at leaving, out now, protection order, so no contact. Educated myself this time and learned two vital new pieces of information - trauma bonding and narcissistic collapse. BUT I almost kept going even after planning to escape with a police report filed. He did a last Oscar deserving performance with manufactured tears and FINALLY owned up to something I'd waited for years to hear...it worked until I believe the Holy Spirit told me it was all fake. I was devastated i was duped again 😢 anyway, I'm done. He had a narcissist collapse and got a church to fall for his sob story. Incredible stuff isn't it.
Thanks again for your fantastic help and support through this ❤
MY 2 SISTERS ARE NPD, BUT ITS THE MALIGNANT SIS I GREW UP WITH THAT I AM STRUGGLING TO DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE, A TRAUMA BOND I THINK, THERAPIST WAS USELESS, I AM STILL TRYING TO WORK OUT WHAT TO DO, HAVE NO CONTACT WITH THE OTHER ONE NOW, YAY! OH YES, I KEEP FORGETTING THEY THINK DIFFERENTLY, SHE KEEPS EVERYTHING SHE THINKS HIDDEN!
can you talk about getting away and escaping a narcissist. Escape plan suggestions, pls.
When I imagine the shame and regret that I feel when I make a terrible move in chess, that's probably the same feeling some people get from simply not getting their way every time.
Listen carefully what a narcissist is accusing you for, because, actually it is his or her confession. They are walking projectors.
I appreciate so much the way you go into depth and explain things in your videos, I have a more in-depth understanding about this evil and so called personality style!!!!!!!! This is just plain selfish and evil and wicked and mentally illness!!!!!!!!!!!! They are crazy!!!!!!!!!!
So true....I caught Covid from my ex narc...so my job gave me a week off...although i told him i was weak and in pain...he started running down a list of errands that needed to be done since I was off....I didnt have it in me to question anything, i just knew I was going to lay my sick behind down and wasnt doing anything. Luckily, he didnt put any pressure on me that day...but he waited a few days later to tell me im not doing anything for the relationship....but i dont have to mention, i was always the one doing the most.....
Madness...Demonic madness.
Girl when you said get on their knees begging you not to leave them...I experienced that and always went back but kept getting crap after we made up
Thank goodness for people like you that are using these platforms to help 7s educate ourselves and use learning tools to assist in coping with such individuals. I'm surrounded by them in my immediate family. My only protection was my parents and two grandmother's which are all deceased. I'm 57 years old and my only sister has been enemy number one since day one. By the grace of God have I been able to endure her attacks and also fight back, after all I am the older sister by 13 months and at least have 5 inches over her in height.....lol. Every little bit helps, trust me. Anyway I've come to grips that they will never change or acknowledge their wrong doings and unfortunately they get worse with age. We pray that they don't go from bad to worse but that's just a fantasy. May God help them and us. Not caring and focusing on yourself is a good way to start to detach from them. Sometimes I say if you can't beat them join them, not to stoop down to their level but to do more of the self centered things they do. Just be self absorbed and admit it, nothing wrong with taking care of yourself right? It's a must. As far as the guilt trips go maybe agree with them instead of getting on the defensive side. The using of unused energy was never worth it for me. I'm a lover not a fighter. And I've always had boyfriends by my side when I was younger. My narcissists are all of the women in my life. My aunts, my first cousins, my sister and a few friends. Like The Lord has said, Where there's one Judas there's seven more. Learn from the master and Lord Jesus Christ who is the prime example and victim of all. Even God had to go through it, so who am I to complain? Think about it. It's God's grace and wisdom that's giving each and every one of us the wisdom to understand these individuals. Obviously they simply don't have God, what's worse is they may have the evil one. Then you really must arm yourself. Not an easy task. Many are called but few are chosen. The truth will set you free.
This is an excellent podcast. Explains everything. I know. Thank you.
Thanks for making me laugh at some of the madness we’ve all been going through. I like your little undertone of humor here and there. 😀