Dogs and Horses love empaths. They spot an empath immediately. You can read their thoughts like a book when they come to you without asking them to come. Surprising how much they have to tell you. Some bad sad stuff, some good stuff,some miffed stuff. My favourite was an early weekend morning visit to a University delivering archeology finds. Guy had his dog with him. Dog came and found me and said he hadn't enjoyed his (usual make of) breakfast and _hadn't_ had his walk. Confirmed by owner. Lol. Some people have lost the gift of listening. That's the litmus test. Every pet has to be codependent on its owner - once it's 'owned'.
Yes all about self love and boundaries !! Trust me once you heal and learn self love , your boundaries will be so strong and can see narcs coming a mile away! Then the narc tango is repulsive!
Making this distinction is important. Thank you so much. We all know what pain feels like, it's just that empaths care to pay attention to it in other people, but they may or may not be SLDD.
I completely agree with your characterization of each term and their difference. I have been concerned about the use of the word empath also because it seemed like the people who identify themselves as such are that way, but their relationship dynamics and results were often more like codependent train wrecks, and it was a way of justifying them! I had to face this in myself, and until I did, I was not free. I did not feel valuable.My self worth was negligible. I couldn't understand how my "man picker" was broken. That used to be my joke. I was mystified, confused and constantly dissatisfied. I gave up on romantic relationships because I couldn't figure out how the same men, with different faces, were my partners. It was a conundrum. I didn't do your recovery program, but I did a similar process to what you recommend. It was my eyes opening to how I had my underlying vulnerabilites which I wore like a neon sign to attract the very unhealthy, destructive relationships in my life. What a freedom to face those vulnerabilities and recover so that I was free! Healing is ongoing. It was difficult and painful and took courage, but the results have been nothing less than stunning in my life. My inner life, especially. I wouldn't even be attracted now to the same person. They have no allure in the least! I had to face why I chose, without fear, favor or judgement those unhealthy, destructive relationships. I absolutely agree with your statements about these terms and their difference. Great video!
Until I learned about covert narcissism and sociopathy, I related to my husband as if I was an empath without realizing it. When I look back on it after hearing this explanation, I realize that I was probably doing that. In the past 5 or so years, I have been educated through books and videos, mostly these, and I am able to see much better my role in the dynamics of the relationship. I saw myself as the one that was reasonably "normal" and believed I was trying to make good out of everything, even though I was actually being manipulated the whole time without knowing it. I felt that I was the victim of this person's choices in how they treated me, but the truth is I was actively involved in how I responded and continued to insist on getting a kind of reciprocation from him that I would never get. Some of my expectations were reasonable, but when you're dealing with a covert narc there is no reason and expectations that like will never happen. Until I understood my role as a SLDD or codependent I felt that if I understood his feelings, pain or mental health issues enough, that things would change for the better because I could work with them. Because of the dynamics of the narc/SLDD relationship, that will never happen just because one (the SLDD/empath) "feels" it or cares enough, and then if they don't get the reciprocation they think they deserve, they blame the other person (the narc, etc.)
I am empath but I am not looking for acceptance or love, I love to be alone and far from human reunions. What hurts me the most is the ingratitude and at the end I am the bad person and I have experienced it with my own family. I love myself enough to say "enough is enough, nobody will see me again, I shall disappear from their lives and live mine from now and on" leaving no address..healing will start ignoring those who hurtled me
So helpful Ross. I see more and more my part and felt pain and shame but the self love I know I’m hitting a wall. I don’t know what’s stopping me. Thank you for being a game changer in the industry!!
I’ve never used the term empath when my referring to myself as a feel good virtual signaling term. In fact I never used that particular term until that label became a trendy buzz word. For me it is different than self love deficit or codependency. Although the latter tends to run high in Empaths due to the nature of being able to read and feel others within our own mind, body and energy field. I can do this remotely with someone I don’t know or in person with strangers. Their feelings, symptoms and thoughts register in my own body and energy field as if they were mine, but I’m able to differentiate . I’m very receptive to telepathy down to a verbatim level. I mostly discovered all this by accident decades ago as a young woman. I’d often say something random that was so accurate that another’s response validated it. At that point I wasn’t even directing my intuition in an overly conscious or deliberate way. It seemed as though I just knew stuff. Yes I’ve drained my own well in conversations until I knew or felt the other had been filled. It was a very automatic type thing in my young adult hood. Like supply and demand. It’s different than people pleasing or wanting to be liked. It’s usually a spontaneous phenomena that happens with strangers or even people that have inconvenienced or annoyed me. It’s part emotional intelligence of knowing and understanding the hows and whys of who they are. I haven’t misused my gift, but my gift has misused me and I understand it’s nature. These days I make a concerted effort to NOT be the victim of my empathy and I’ve had to practice detaching and making a concerted effort to not being a bleeding heart. I say this matter of factly with no self aggrandizement. In the late 80s I became involved with meditation and metaphysical teachings. I learned energy and body work and went to massage school. In the professional sense my gift helped me to serve and assist others and I was less drained than I would be in personal relationships and interactions. I began to see pictures in my mind as I worked on them. For example as I worked on a painful shoulder my mind would roll back in time and see images of a car accident they had been in. This was not something they had told me. Often they even forgot until I mentioned what I was seeing. As time went on I kept having these coincidences of being accurate and later recognized it as a type of clairvoyance. Mind you at that time I didn’t use these labels or fully understand them even. I wasn’t even sure I could bring myself into this state of “knowing “ at will. It was more like it was happening to me. Later I could at will bring myself into than realm. In retrospect outside of my work I was drawn to those I felt bad for. The healer in me felt their roundedness ( specifically in 2 relationships with Cluster B’s in the early years following my longterm marriage.) Ironically I had been married to a very normal guy for 20 years who didn’t have deep wounding. We were opposites and he grounded me. He was rather protective to what he perceived to be a naïve , trusting, childlike quality. He was correct to my chargrin , I trailed decades later. With that said I find that similar to the Narcissist an empath can project their igoodwill and innocence onto others. It’s a real blind spot and eventually a manipulative person can’t help themselves with my type. Initially they are uplifted by our light, but sooner rather than later they think we’re kind of dumb. I’ve even felt sorry for them, as they were lying or hurting me. On some level I felt bad for their depravity. Back then I truly did not conceive their lack of shame or remorse. After all I was the person who’d loose sleep over a friends problem. Perhaps an element of savior complex is at play, not sure but I don’t feel like I’m on an ego trip during these types of exchanges. Rather I truly want to make a deference and that in itself brings me peace and joy. The reason I’m not sure is because this can play out with those I’m not overly invested in as well. Even with difficult apartment neighbors, I prefer to strike a spirit of cooperation, than report their annoying behaviors, noise etc to the office. This polite agreeable approach has also backfired. Perhaps a more direct aggressive approach would have served me better. For some reason I’m under the illusion that most would prefer a softer approach. My mindset could even be wrongly perceived as haughty or thinking I’m better than, when in reality I’m literally trying to rise above. As a parent of 3 adult sons I had difficulty when they were kids being stern or authoritative and would often cave when it came to discipline or punishment. It literally hurt me to take away a phone or electronic device, because I know how I’d feel. I’m not perfect and when really pushed I can get very angry. Otherwise I’m patient and very slow to boil. I’m using behavior modification in an effort to stop many of my natural traits for the sake of self protection. It was very alarming to my inner being and psyche when I saw such malicious and spiteful behaviors. I’m definitely one that likes to get her point across, but have never had the desire for revenge on those who have hurt of betrayed me. In 1989 I was in Boston at an energy healing weekend seminar with Barbara Brennan a Scientist, healer and author of Hands of Light and other books. There was about 100 people mostly doctors and medical professionals with the exception of myself and another woman. I was a makeup artist at the time and she was a hair dresser. After doing an energy healing technique the teacher asked how many felt or took on the other persons pain, emotions of symptoms. Myself and the hairdresser were the only two in the crowded room who raised our hand. We were the sensitive , creative so called free spirits and obviously at that point had no profession training in boundaries (as in protecting our own.) The teacher addressed us and told us to stop doing that ! The thing is I was not consciously ‘doing that’ it was natural and automatic. In fact at that time it served to inform me of the clients issues to better serve them. However, once I had more of a private practice I could see this technique of feeling everyone’s stuff was not good. I would even feel sick if a client was on certain medications. So, eventually I read something very helpful in a booked called Esoteric Healing by Alice Bailey. The gist of it was that healers have a natural ability to automatically without effort go into deep communion with another person (a good thing) but, the problem is that during the deep communion of becoming one with the other they can become decentralized within their own essence and this is what causes them to take on the others persons stuff. WOW, I understood that. With that awareness I was able to shirt myself to a higher level of understanding and ability. It was further defined as an act of one’s personal will (solar plexus energy) however well intended. Heart energy was what was needed and is considered a higher more “detached from outcome “ type vibration. The concept is to use love verses wielding the power of one’s will, however unconscious. This also allowed clients to feel safe and release more easily. At that point I could access direct knowledge for the client and stop getting info via “feeling everything. “ It is actually a higher form of HSP (high sense perception.) As for run of the mill codependency and wanting to be liked or needed Ive had that too and it’s very different and obviously less evolved than being an empath. One is from the soul, the other the personality. I’m sure childhood dysfunction or toxic family dynamics play a role in developing the capacity to read and please others as a way to stay safe. That is more about survival than empathetic altruism. These days I do see people who are overly emotional or sensitive refer to themselves Empaths, while many of them I know are cunning and not particularly empathic at all. In fact they can be very removed and self consumed always bringing the conversation back to themselves. Perhaps they are even borderlines who confuse their dis regulated emotions and reactions with being an empath ? Most of them wouldn’t even think to offer you a cup of coffee or other polite social gestures let alone deeply feel your pain. The strangest thing to me about my own empathy is that I’m fairly intelligent and often aware that I’m wasting my time or energy where it’s not appreciated. I’m usually fine with that, although on a personal level (not professional) it can lead to hurt or resentment long after the fact, even though I gave to give and not get. These days I’m more aware and cautious and not doing most of what I described. I’ve been on a sabbatical of healing and unfolding my own stuff. I’m very aware of how my traits and tendencies have brought me pain. I’m not feeling like a victim and sometimes I even categorize my beautiful well intended empathy as a pathology that has brought suffering to my life that could have been avoided otherwise. For a while I disliked having an overly developed conscience as well. Sorry, if I veered of the path of your topic by overly elaborating . These days I like to expound in detail when the topic of being an empath comes up. I see it much differently than those who posses empathy, which most people do throughout their lives if they are not personality disordered. ♥️
once i dug into my hitherto unseen trauma (thanks in no small part to your work (thank you)) i found that a lot of what i think people confuse with being an empath is probably just hypervigilance ..from having to live in an unsafe and/or unpredictable childhood environment. it makes sense to me, im sure we are so practised that we pick up on all sorts of signals from people that we are barely even aware of. comfortable to embue ourselves with a touch of the fae as it is it certainly seems more fertile ground for recovery to dig deeper to where its less comfortable.
Insightful thank you. Nowadays I wonder why people struggle to make the difference between these 2 terms but then when I go visit my memory, I remember being codependent. And ofc saw nothing wrong with my ways, which make me laugh now, cos there was so much deficiency. I've healed codependency, all that remains is empathy. And ofc now, the difference is clearly seen. Anyone I viewed as broken, narcissist, I don't view them as that anymore, just people with defence mechanism, doing what they do to " survive" like anyone would. It's never personal. Healing comes with an overall shift of perspective.
I have truck tons of appreciation for how this content is presented. I get bemused at times over how terms are used in society, which ignite my natural born response as a writer and artist. I think i go through a long process of observing, being triggered, attempting to change my own mind until i finally buckle down and study the word in a scholarly way. Empath is a grand example of this. It took a couple decades in that cycle before i finally studied it's meaning and roots in language. At this point in my comprehension, i do identify as an Empath and as an SLDD. But i don't like to talk about it so much because it really just depends on other's perceptions of the terms. It's similar to trying to talk about being raised by a narcissist to someone who hasn't, or trying to explain autoimmune to an employer. Isn't the best advice, just don't. I'll humbly admit, i get triggered into anger at times when people ignorantly flaunt words like empath or bipolar or ocd in loose fashion. This video offered me a new aha moment & helped me feel a little less crazy today. Having broken structures of attachment coupled with feeling others' emotions so intensely is most often confusing and chaotic. It's taken a lot of self work and practice to comprehend the difference between my energy/emotions and others. I believe when i tend to isolate it has a lot more to do with not wanting to feel the barrage of emotions out there than knowing only like 5% of people speak my language...
co dependents are cluster c types why is it no one talk about the harm done by cluster c and a especially from parents to their children its not always just the cluster bs who do damage what would a co dependent teach to their child
I love your videos and this one is so important in helping an empath untangle themselves. Most empaths I know talk about self love being important. They seem to preach it more than those in my Christian background do . ( I consider myself a Christian empath when I say that lol . It’s just what I see ) . Although I realize ….. maybe a lot of human beings are “ empaths” . It’s just human to feel for another but at the same time ….. I have noticed that some people really don’t seem to care as much and I can’t figure out why , if someone is in pain , I can’t get them off my mind even if they brought it on themselves . I feel it heavy in my heart but when I talk about it to some people they ask me why I care so much about someone I don’t even know so I don’t know what that’s all about lol ) . I think sometimes people calling themselves empaths and learning about narcissism can be a path to figuring out what they’re dealing with ???? Especially since a lot of empath videos I’ve watched and friends who try to help other empaths encourage self love and boundaries (maybe not all empath messages do this ??? Idk ). I never even thought about it being used in an unhealthy way to where it would make it ok to put up with a narcissist. It’s a very good point though and something to watch out for . I even feel bad for narcissists because I know how they ended up that way through trauma but I also know that doesn’t mean I should put up with it . I’m watching this dynamic go down with my brother and because I’ve known him since he was a sweet innocent child , it’s very hard to see that he is behaving very much like a narcissist now . It’s heartbreaking because his kids will pay the price for that . He does seem to care for them deeply , he loves them I feel . Yet …. well I’ll just stop because I’m not about talking about peoples business . It’s just so terribly sad because he seems so self destructive as well as causing pain to all who do care about him . It’s sad for all involved because I think on some level he does feel like he’s a failure and we worry he’s suicidal or he’s using that to keep us worried about him lol …. Who knows . I think it’s both and because it’s both … I still worry deeply about him …. And his family …. My nieces and nephews and his wife .
I am very curious to know about your comment: these two concepts are defined very clearly in every text book, and it is very concerning that you mention 'most experts' use the two synonymously.
@@erxfav3197 I know how painful this is. What i did was set a goal. I made this promise to myself, "One day, I will think of you (the ex) and feel nothing. One day, I will look at you and feel nothing. " I didn't set a timeline. I just made it open-ended. Mean while, I binged on material like this, and heavily practiced mindfulness (helpd with the voices in my head) . You can also try EMDR /bilateral stimulation, or EFT tapping if you feel stuck at some point. Another thing, make a list of everything you wanted to do but the relationship stopped you from doing. Then do them. Take your time, don't rush it. And allow yourself to be fully immersed in that particular activity. It will give you a strange sense of freedom and relief. Most of all, take it one day at a time. Don't push yourself too hard. I'm sending you love, peace, grace and power. May you experience the freedom that comes with being a survivor, and may you arise and be there for others who are dealing with this level of trauma. ♥ (sorry for the long post... I couldn't help it 😊)
![[TH] 2024 PMGC League | Survival Stage วันที่ 1 | PUBG MOBILE Global Championship](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/FVFT-PFwU80/mqdefault.jpg)
![BOWKYLION - วิงวอน (ex-change) [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/cLdnZWDaO-w/mqdefault.jpg)
Dogs and Horses love empaths. They spot an empath immediately. You can read their thoughts like a book when they come to you without asking them to come.
Surprising how much they have to tell you. Some bad sad stuff, some good stuff,some miffed stuff.
My favourite was an early weekend morning visit to a University delivering archeology finds. Guy had his dog with him.
Dog came and found me and said he hadn't enjoyed his (usual make of) breakfast and _hadn't_ had his walk.
Confirmed by owner. Lol.
Some people have lost the gift of listening.
That's the litmus test.
Every pet has to be codependent on its owner - once it's 'owned'.
Yes all about self love and boundaries !! Trust me once you heal and learn self love , your boundaries will be so strong and can see narcs coming a mile away! Then the narc tango is repulsive!
Making this distinction is important. Thank you so much. We all know what pain feels like, it's just that empaths care to pay attention to it in other people, but they may or may not be SLDD.
Thank you be safe and stay in prayer 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I completely agree with your characterization of each term and their difference. I have been concerned about the use of the word empath also because it seemed like the people who identify themselves as such are that way, but their relationship dynamics and results were often more like codependent train wrecks, and it was a way of justifying them! I had to face this in myself, and until I did, I was not free. I did not feel valuable.My self worth was negligible. I couldn't understand how my "man picker" was broken. That used to be my joke. I was mystified, confused and constantly dissatisfied. I gave up on romantic relationships because I couldn't figure out how the same men, with different faces, were my partners. It was a conundrum. I didn't do your recovery program, but I did a similar process to what you recommend. It was my eyes opening to how I had my underlying vulnerabilites which I wore like a neon sign to attract the very unhealthy, destructive relationships in my life. What a freedom to face those vulnerabilities and recover so that I was free! Healing is ongoing. It was difficult and painful and took courage, but the results have been nothing less than stunning in my life. My inner life, especially. I wouldn't even be attracted now to the same person. They have no allure in the least! I had to face why I chose, without fear, favor or judgement those unhealthy, destructive relationships. I absolutely agree with your statements about these terms and their difference. Great video!
Until I learned about covert narcissism and sociopathy, I related to my husband as if I was an empath without realizing it. When I look back on it after hearing this explanation, I realize that I was probably doing that. In the past 5 or so years, I have been educated through books and videos, mostly these, and I am able to see much better my role in the dynamics of the relationship. I saw myself as the one that was reasonably "normal" and believed I was trying to make good out of everything, even though I was actually being manipulated the whole time without knowing it. I felt that I was the victim of this person's choices in how they treated me, but the truth is I was actively involved in how I responded and continued to insist on getting a kind of reciprocation from him that I would never get. Some of my expectations were reasonable, but when you're dealing with a covert narc there is no reason and expectations that like will never happen. Until I understood my role as a SLDD or codependent I felt that if I understood his feelings, pain or mental health issues enough, that things would change for the better because I could work with them. Because of the dynamics of the narc/SLDD relationship, that will never happen just because one (the SLDD/empath) "feels" it or cares enough, and then if they don't get the reciprocation they think they deserve, they blame the other person (the narc, etc.)
ty
Spot on.
I am empath but I am not looking for acceptance or love, I love to be alone and far from human reunions. What hurts me the most is the ingratitude and at the end I am the bad person and I have experienced it with my own family. I love myself enough to say "enough is enough, nobody will see me again, I shall disappear from their lives and live mine from now and on" leaving no address..healing will start ignoring those who hurtled me
Now that makes sense to me. I am an empath with SLDD.
So helpful Ross. I see more and more my part and felt pain and shame but the self love I know I’m hitting a wall. I don’t know what’s stopping me. Thank you for being a game changer in the industry!!
Ordering the book today...
Thanks for the gentle way you remind us to also look at ourselves and why we attract these broken people
Finally a clear explanation. Thanks
I get it Ross. Thank u for your wisdom.
You are so welcome
I’ve never used the term empath when my referring to myself as a feel good virtual signaling term. In fact I never used that particular term until that label became a trendy buzz word.
For me it is different than self love deficit or codependency. Although the latter tends to run high in Empaths due to the nature of being able to read and feel others within our own mind, body and energy field. I can do this remotely with someone I don’t know or in person with strangers. Their feelings, symptoms and thoughts register in my own body and energy field as if they were mine, but I’m able to differentiate . I’m very receptive to telepathy down to a verbatim level.
I mostly discovered all this by accident decades ago as a young woman. I’d often say something random that was so accurate that another’s response validated it. At that point I wasn’t even directing my intuition in an overly conscious or deliberate way. It seemed as though I just knew stuff.
Yes I’ve drained my own well in conversations until I knew or felt the other had been filled. It was a very automatic type thing in my young adult hood. Like supply and demand. It’s different than people pleasing or wanting to be liked. It’s usually a spontaneous phenomena that happens with strangers or even people that have inconvenienced or annoyed me. It’s part emotional intelligence of knowing and understanding the hows and whys of who they are. I haven’t misused my gift, but my gift has misused me and I understand it’s nature.
These days I make a concerted effort to NOT be the victim of my empathy and I’ve had to practice detaching and making a concerted effort to not being a bleeding heart. I say this matter of factly with no self aggrandizement.
In the late 80s I became involved with meditation and metaphysical teachings. I learned energy and body work and went to massage school. In the professional sense my gift helped me to serve and assist others and I was less drained than I would be in personal relationships and interactions. I began to see pictures in my mind as I worked on them. For example as I worked on a painful shoulder my mind would roll back in time and see images of a car accident they had been in. This was not something they had told me. Often they even forgot until I mentioned what I was seeing. As time went on I kept having these coincidences of being accurate and later recognized it as a type of clairvoyance. Mind you at that time I didn’t use these labels or fully understand them even. I wasn’t even sure I could bring myself into this state of “knowing “ at will. It was more like it was happening to me. Later I could at will bring myself into than realm.
In retrospect outside of my work I was drawn to those I felt bad for. The healer in me felt their roundedness ( specifically in 2 relationships with Cluster B’s in the early years following my longterm marriage.) Ironically I had been married to a very normal guy for 20 years who didn’t have deep wounding. We were opposites and he grounded me. He was rather protective to what he perceived to be a naïve , trusting, childlike quality. He was correct to my chargrin , I trailed decades later.
With that said I find that similar to the Narcissist an empath can project their igoodwill and innocence onto others. It’s a real blind spot and eventually a manipulative person can’t help themselves with my type. Initially they are uplifted by our light, but sooner rather than later they think we’re kind of dumb. I’ve even felt sorry for them, as they were lying or hurting me. On some level I felt bad for their depravity. Back then I truly did not conceive their lack of shame or remorse. After all I was the person who’d loose sleep over a friends problem. Perhaps an element of savior complex is at play, not sure but I don’t feel like I’m on an ego trip during these types of exchanges. Rather I truly want to make a deference and that in itself brings me peace and joy. The reason I’m not sure is because this can play out with those I’m not overly invested in as well. Even with difficult apartment neighbors, I prefer to strike a spirit of cooperation, than report their annoying behaviors, noise etc to the office. This polite agreeable approach has also backfired. Perhaps a more direct aggressive approach would have served me better. For some reason I’m under the illusion that most would prefer a softer approach. My mindset could even be wrongly perceived as haughty or thinking I’m better than, when in reality I’m literally trying to rise above.
As a parent of 3 adult sons I had difficulty when they were kids being stern or authoritative and would often cave when it came to discipline or punishment. It literally hurt me to take away a phone or electronic device, because I know how I’d feel. I’m not perfect and when really pushed I can get very angry. Otherwise I’m patient and very slow to boil.
I’m using behavior modification in an effort to stop many of my natural traits for the sake of self protection. It was very alarming to my inner being and psyche when I saw such malicious and spiteful behaviors. I’m definitely one that likes to get her point across, but have never had the desire for revenge on those who have hurt of betrayed me.
In 1989 I was in Boston at an energy healing weekend seminar with Barbara Brennan a Scientist, healer and author of Hands of Light and other books. There was about 100 people mostly doctors and medical professionals with the exception of myself and another woman. I was a makeup artist at the time and she was a hair dresser. After doing an energy healing technique the teacher asked how many felt or took on the other persons pain, emotions of symptoms. Myself and the hairdresser were the only two in the crowded room who raised our hand. We were the sensitive , creative so called free spirits and obviously at that point had no profession training in boundaries (as in protecting our own.) The teacher addressed us and told us to stop doing that !
The thing is I was not consciously ‘doing that’ it was natural and automatic. In fact at that time it served to inform me of the clients issues to better serve them. However, once I had more of a private practice I could see this technique of feeling everyone’s stuff was not good. I would even feel sick if a client was on certain medications.
So, eventually I read something very helpful in a booked called Esoteric Healing by Alice Bailey. The gist of it was that healers have a natural ability to automatically without effort go into deep communion with another person (a good thing) but, the problem is that during the deep communion of becoming one with the other they can become decentralized within their own essence and this is what causes them to take on the others persons stuff. WOW, I understood that. With that awareness I was able to shirt myself to a higher level of understanding and ability. It was further defined as an act of one’s personal will (solar plexus energy) however well intended. Heart energy was what was needed and is considered a higher more “detached from outcome “ type vibration. The concept is to use love verses wielding the power of one’s will, however unconscious. This also allowed clients to feel safe and release more easily.
At that point I could access direct knowledge for the client and stop getting info via “feeling everything. “ It is actually a higher form of HSP (high sense perception.)
As for run of the mill codependency and wanting to be liked or needed Ive had that too and it’s very different and obviously less evolved than being an empath. One is from the soul, the other the personality. I’m sure childhood dysfunction or toxic family dynamics play a role in developing the capacity to read and please others as a way to stay safe. That is more about survival than empathetic altruism.
These days I do see people who are overly emotional or sensitive refer to themselves Empaths, while many of them I know are cunning and not particularly empathic at all. In fact they can be very removed and self consumed always bringing the conversation back to themselves. Perhaps they are even borderlines who confuse their dis regulated emotions and reactions with being an empath ? Most of them wouldn’t even think to offer you a cup of coffee or other polite social gestures let alone deeply feel your pain.
The strangest thing to me about my own empathy is that I’m fairly intelligent and often aware that I’m wasting my time or energy where it’s not appreciated. I’m usually fine with that, although on a personal level (not professional) it can lead to hurt or resentment long after the fact, even though I gave to give and not get.
These days I’m more aware and cautious and not doing most of what I described. I’ve been on a sabbatical of healing and unfolding my own stuff. I’m very aware of how my traits and tendencies have brought me pain. I’m not feeling like a victim and sometimes I even categorize my beautiful well intended empathy as a pathology that has brought suffering to my life that could have been avoided otherwise. For a while I disliked having an overly developed conscience as well.
Sorry, if I veered of the path of your topic by overly elaborating . These days I like to expound in detail when the topic of being an empath comes up. I see it much differently than those who posses empathy, which most people do throughout their lives if they are not personality disordered. ♥️
Simply put, couldn’t read the entirety of your totally SELF ABSORBED AGGRANDIZEMENT here - seriously get OVER yourself!
once i dug into my hitherto unseen trauma (thanks in no small part to your work (thank you)) i found that a lot of what i think people confuse with being an empath is probably just hypervigilance ..from having to live in an unsafe and/or unpredictable childhood environment. it makes sense to me, im sure we are so practised that we pick up on all sorts of signals from people that we are barely even aware of.
comfortable to embue ourselves with a touch of the fae as it is it certainly seems more fertile ground for recovery to dig deeper to where its less comfortable.
Insightful thank you. Nowadays I wonder why people struggle to make the difference between these 2 terms but then when I go visit my memory, I remember being codependent. And ofc saw nothing wrong with my ways, which make me laugh now, cos there was so much deficiency. I've healed codependency, all that remains is empathy. And ofc now, the difference is clearly seen. Anyone I viewed as broken, narcissist, I don't view them as that anymore, just people with defence mechanism, doing what they do to " survive" like anyone would. It's never personal. Healing comes with an overall shift of perspective.
i dont have sld , i never have i just didnt know how i needed or wanted to be loved
I have truck tons of appreciation for how this content is presented. I get bemused at times over how terms are used in society, which ignite my natural born response as a writer and artist. I think i go through a long process of observing, being triggered, attempting to change my own mind until i finally buckle down and study the word in a scholarly way. Empath is a grand example of this. It took a couple decades in that cycle before i finally studied it's meaning and roots in language. At this point in my comprehension, i do identify as an Empath and as an SLDD. But i don't like to talk about it so much because it really just depends on other's perceptions of the terms. It's similar to trying to talk about being raised by a narcissist to someone who hasn't, or trying to explain autoimmune to an employer. Isn't the best advice, just don't. I'll humbly admit, i get triggered into anger at times when people ignorantly flaunt words like empath or bipolar or ocd in loose fashion. This video offered me a new aha moment & helped me feel a little less crazy today. Having broken structures of attachment coupled with feeling others' emotions so intensely is most often confusing and chaotic. It's taken a lot of self work and practice to comprehend the difference between my energy/emotions and others. I believe when i tend to isolate it has a lot more to do with not wanting to feel the barrage of emotions out there than knowing only like 5% of people speak my language...
co dependents are cluster c types why is it no one talk about the harm done by cluster c and a especially from parents to their children its not always just the cluster bs who do damage
what would a co dependent teach to their child
I love your videos and this one is so important in helping an empath untangle themselves. Most empaths I know talk about self love being important. They seem to preach it more than those in my Christian background do . ( I consider myself a Christian empath when I say that lol . It’s just what I see ) . Although I realize ….. maybe a lot of human beings are “ empaths” . It’s just human to feel for another but at the same time ….. I have noticed that some people really don’t seem to care as much and I can’t figure out why , if someone is in pain , I can’t get them off my mind even if they brought it on themselves . I feel it heavy in my heart but when I talk about it to some people they ask me why I care so much about someone I don’t even know so I don’t know what that’s all about lol ) . I think sometimes people calling themselves empaths and learning about narcissism can be a path to figuring out what they’re dealing with ???? Especially since a lot of empath videos I’ve watched and friends who try to help other empaths encourage self love and boundaries (maybe not all empath messages do this ??? Idk ). I never even thought about it being used in an unhealthy way to where it would make it ok to put up with a narcissist. It’s a very good point though and something to watch out for . I even feel bad for narcissists because I know how they ended up that way through trauma but I also know that doesn’t mean I should put up with it . I’m watching this dynamic go down with my brother and because I’ve known him since he was a sweet innocent child , it’s very hard to see that he is behaving very much like a narcissist now . It’s heartbreaking because his kids will pay the price for that . He does seem to care for them deeply , he loves them I feel . Yet …. well I’ll just stop because I’m not about talking about peoples business . It’s just so terribly sad because he seems so self destructive as well as causing pain to all who do care about him . It’s sad for all involved because I think on some level he does feel like he’s a failure and we worry he’s suicidal or he’s using that to keep us worried about him lol …. Who knows . I think it’s both and because it’s both … I still worry deeply about him …. And his family …. My nieces and nephews and his wife .
Finally, someone's saying it! Most 'experts' use the two synonymously. They're not the same!
I followed Mr. Ross advises. And I am much better after a month and a half already.
@@natalijamartina Good for you. May our Lord and savior Jesus Christ bless you. I just found out about him recently and I'm watching his videos.
@@natalijamartina what did you do???
Please help..
I feel like I’m trauma bonded and it’s really hard..
I am very curious to know about your comment: these two concepts are defined very clearly in every text book, and it is very concerning that you mention 'most experts' use the two synonymously.
@@erxfav3197 I know how painful this is. What i did was set a goal.
I made this promise to myself, "One day, I will think of you (the ex) and feel nothing. One day, I will look at you and feel nothing. "
I didn't set a timeline. I just made it open-ended. Mean while, I binged on material like this, and heavily practiced mindfulness (helpd with the voices in my head) .
You can also try EMDR /bilateral stimulation, or EFT tapping if you feel stuck at some point.
Another thing, make a list of everything you wanted to do but the relationship stopped you from doing. Then do them. Take your time, don't rush it. And allow yourself to be fully immersed in that particular activity. It will give you a strange sense of freedom and relief.
Most of all, take it one day at a time. Don't push yourself too hard.
I'm sending you love, peace, grace and power. May you experience the freedom that comes with being a survivor, and may you arise and be there for others who are dealing with this level of trauma. ♥
(sorry for the long post... I couldn't help it 😊)
Brilliant
Super good. I always thought of them as 2 terms. Many codependents seem to have that empathetic trait or identity with it. Very thoughtful video
Wow! That was eye opening! I am SLDD and didn't even know the term until now! What's the cure?
🙏🦋
Could you recommend a group to join to discover the Empath SLDD magnet
But didn't Jesus do just what we are doing? Empty themselves of what they want for others?