12:57 also love the whole bit advice: Understand, not everyone is going to accept you. Don’t look for acceptance, be your own acceptance. Let people get to know you, because you already know who you are. They just need to catch up!
I really needed to hear that. I am bi and enby and really struggle with presenting myself as the genderqueer person I am in workspace because of the fear of other people not accepting me for who I am. I work in an office and people are expected to dress a certain way and I just can’t fit in with that anymore. Maybe I should just go for it.
I love that they are all naturally sitting with wide legs. Confident and comfortable. I always sit that way and felt insecure for a long time cuz everyone I knew and saw would cross their legs.
So funny I noticed the same thing, love it!! I remember watching 'save the last dance' as a little girl (which I was already into females by then I only kissed girls in truth or dare lol) but that scene where he's teaching her how to sit with swag and her legs are open, ever since then I've been so comfortable with open legs🤣😂 obviously when the outfit permits if I'm feeling girly and wearing a skirt with a thong I'm more shy I won't sit open legged like that 😂
@L Costa Cerebral offers online therapy for $15+ per week, depending on whether you want to try medication/what services you want to purchase. Good luck!
It’s actually refreshing to hear someone say their first kiss happened at 27 yo, I’m 25 and never had any experience and I always feel like I’m a freak to my friends who did pretty much anything
ya it gives me hope. im 24 and havent done anything with anyone either. sometimes i think something is wrong with me. but i try and remind myself that i dont want to rush into anything and that it will all work out
26 years old, slept with more men than I can count and going on my first date with a woman this week. I haven’t been excited for a date in years. Thank you for the guidance ❤️❤️
How do u cope with the fact that u v slept with countless men? asking cause I need help coping but I can count. Not judging cause I am no angel.I just find it hard to move past that
@@praxym9293 I definitely haven’t moved past it either! It’s very new for me and it’s a struggle to reckon with my past with men. But I continue to remind myself that what I’m feeling isn’t wrong and that my journey will not look and feel like anyone else’s. And the people who you decide to let into your life will have to understand that. I can’t go back, but I can embrace what I’m feeling right now as openly as I possibly can! :)
This is ALMOST me as well!!! I'm almost 26, been with many men, recently recognized aloud for myself that I'm attracted to women, hoping I can meet someone and go on a date and get to explore this exciting new reality more! Hope your date goes/went well!!! 💕
@@slaggeylindsay7464 What do you mean?? Do you mean that it's traumatic or regretful that you slept with many? Also, don't worry any woman who will pass on you for owning your sexuality isn't worth it 👍🏻
@@astrid-3 And except Germany where the brand is from 😅 every family over here has probably at least one pair of Birkenstocks or Adiletten. They’re especially popular as house slippers or for nurses
"Don't look for acceptance, BE your own acceptance" As a Christian woman who is bisexual, THIS is so super important to remember because I had to accept myself as well as other people
Realizing I was bisexual as I went through puberty is part of what helped me leave christianity in my mid-teens, and I will never EVER look back. No offense but I do wonder what mental gymnastics you pull, or how you cherry-pick biblical interpretations; to rationalize having homosexual desire but also being christian. I hope you don't limit yourself purely to men because you feel that being with a woman would be a sin, or something like that...
I feel like I don’t see enough of these videos representing our community . I love them and they make me feel “normal “ if that makes sense . Even tho normal isn’t a thing . A lot of people will say this is them pushing their life down their throats but it’s really just being inclusive
Yes I love that I came across this video I want to really understand myself better as a Bi female and to feel a bit normal but like you said normal isn’t even a real thing
Not gonna lie, as a 35-year-old lesbian who has just truly and finally come out of the closet in the past year, this video made me laugh, cry, and feel seen. Thank you for making this. :)
Definitely also want to focus on the “femme (dressing) people don’t read as gay” bit cause it’s really frustrating! I understand it and at the same time, I think it limits us to a certain range of expression within ourselves and our closets. Part of patriarchy’s work has been the war on femme-ness and femininity and honestly f*** that! I don’t want any of that in my queer identity and queer communities. Loving this video for bringing cool things up
I'm very femme and gravitate towards other femmes. I've learned that I have to compensate this by being rather sexually aggressive (nothing creepy though, but heavy flirting). And have yet to be rejected so it does work! It does help that femmes don't give creepy vibes that easily.
Same, I identify as bisexual & pretty femme. I also love my long nails & I worry if a woman sees them, she'll think I'm not attracted to women. Shoot, I'm attracted to beautiful long nails on a woman! Fingering isn't the only lesbian pleasure out there!
Pan agender femme person - so many people voicing doubts if i am truely agender if i truly am attracted to women as well as others.. but in the end i dress for me so w/eva
I’m a bisexual woman and when I came out my style didn’t change at all🤷🏻♀️ I’ve always just worn what I liked and I continue to do that now! Femme queer women exist and are SO valid!
I'm personally a femme lesbian, and honestly, I don't think it "not reading as gay" is true. You just have to know how to do it. First of all, the earrings trend. Put the stupidest things you can think of on a pair of hooks. Trust me, it reads. Campiness also helps. Don't be afraid to wear some more out there stuff. I personally find fashion often seen in drag a great inspiration. If that's scary for you, which I totally get, go rainbow! Rainbow socks, gloves, hair accessories, your hair itself, shirts, pants. Literally anything can be rainbow. Or even the lesbian flag colors. Make a point to always wear pride bracelets. Do you have shoelaces? Put in beads matching your preference of flag colors.
These women look so young... I was shock to hear the girl say that she had her first kiss at 27 and the other girl came out in her 30s. To me they both look around 25. I guess that’s the benefit of not having to dealt with men all the time.
I really want to see more representation of ultra femme lesbians... If we have more of that, women won't feel like they'll never be read as queer if they dress "too girly"
same i’m femme and i make it KNOWN im a munch but at the same time im tired of people saying you have to dress less femme for people to see you bc that’s bullshir
I got Old Navy with a bunch of women dancing together, showing off their new jeans sizes. There is a woman who does a hair flip, and I’m just like... Well, you know which finger(s) you like 🙃
So as a bisexual who came out to my friends a few years ago but can't even bring myself to tell me religious parents, I'm glad you said come out when you're ready. This is the reason I'm afraid to go to far into talking to girls I the first place since I can't move to far with a girl in fear of my parents rejecting me
I love labeling myself (hobby or vibes related) because it never has to be permanent. I'm labeling myself so I can change to whatever I feel is right! ❤❤❤❤
This is my first time being introduced to the term “Compulsive Heterosexuality”. Based on the explanation I agree with the idea (that it exists, that it messes with queer people in their heads).
@L Costa While I don't really experience it as a lesbian, it does exist. Basically, lesbians who are told over and over again that they need to find "the right man" (and gay men who are told over and over to find "the right woman") sometimes internalize that, repressing their attraction to the same gender in the hopes that some day they will be attracted to a member of the opposite gender. Compulsory Heterosexuality is why a lot of lesbians and gay men come out later in life, when they have had more time to figure themselves out.
@L Costa yeah no it does exist. i am not bi i am a lesbian but thought i was bi for a while. i do not want to have w relationship with a man, but because i was raised with the idea that i had to be with a man the idea of not being with them was unreal to me. that’s one of the aspects of comphet
@L Costa you are confusing bisexuality (being genuinely attracted to multiple genders) with comphet (heterosexuality being forced upon people and therefore making gay people feel as though they are wrong for not being heterosexual). They are completely different things.
my two cents would also be: You don't have to come out to somebody you are not comfortable with. Not now or ever. You do not have to come our to your parents, or sisters or aunties or work or whoever. Treat it as any other kind of personal information, not everyone deserves to receive that information or hold it against you. It is completely your decision, on your terms. Today, I am finally independent. Today there are some family members, I would have never come out to today, just because they broke my trust and they dont deserve knowing me like that. But I usually "come out" to people that respect me. (I just talk as if they already new, e.g. talking about my gf when it fits a subject or something). Do not feel pressured to come out, do not feel pressured to stay in the closet. Whatever you decide to seek happiness , is gonna be the right choice.
This needs more upvotes, this whole comment right here. I don't live in the same country as my parents and I am biromantic & possibly bisexual. I will probably NEVER EVER tell my parents even though I realized a few years ago and I have come out to some people. Luckily that all went incredibly well. I will probably never come out at work while I am in a quite conservative type of career either. (I don't have to do conservative stuff but...it's a long story.) But I feel it's better if people at work DON'T know and I don't know how accepting workplaces would be. Some places would be others I'm not so sure so why risk it. Even my newest social group, it is definitely queer friendly and I know some of the people are queer but even so I don't want to just blurt it out though I dropped a few hints to someone there recently - it depends on how comfortable I feel. I don't think everyone HAS to come out to EVERYONE but of course they can if they want to! And I love and agree with do not feel pressured to come out, do not feel pressured to stay in the closet.
I'm 38 and in 2021 I came out to my parents... and to my husband and my daughter. Everyone has surrounded me with love and support, and I feel so lucky. I think that growing up in a less-friendly era made me more anxious to come out, and I felt like I had to be "100% sure" first -- this video has a lot of wisdom.
that thing about eras is *real*. i think growing up in the 80s scarred me. to this day, i feel anxiety about being really "out there". like letting a job find out, or people at work, or anything remotely PDA in public (it's like there's an ingrained and sometimes subconscious fear of violence). : ( i've wondered what it's like for people who are growing up now, and if the environment all feels a lot more supportive and less dangerous.
PerfectionPending 🧙♀️ I’m not sure if I should make my goal trying to be more confident in that stuff and not worry about it, or if it still is an ever present risk.
*27 year old virgin here. It’ll happen when it happens. For me, I’ve always wanted a connection with the person and I haven’t had that yet. And I’m in a spot where I KNOW that I can’t entertain a relationship because of the amount of mental and emotional unpacking I have to do before I could think about being that vulnerable with someone is unreal. **#Therapy*
Sounds like you're a demisexual. Also I love that you're working on yourself. I'm doing the same thing. I'm 24 and haven't dated anyone due to issues in my past. Plus ya know my family would disown me and I'm not in a place where I can be open about liking women. Keep up the good work! You've got it and you have the right mentality. "If it happens, it happens." Not forcing yourself until you're ready.
Hi! It's easy to say than done and you probably already think about it but here my thoughts: try to face your fears little by little everyday. If you need a break, take a break. Make changes in your life by listening to yourlsef (how you feel about it). Take babies step that you know you can overcome today.
buzzfeed has highkey done so much for me as a queer person with basically no other queer representation/education, from when i first realised i was queer to now, and it's just been so incredibly helpful, so thank you guys!
"because that many people love me. Believe it" that made me almost cry.. sometimes I'm ashamed of my past relationships and what it "means I am"...thank you.
I love how the one with short hair that was asking questions touched on the fluidity of sexualyity. She said today she is gay but it changes. I've always thought I was straight but came our as bi in high school, didn't go well, so I suppressed it. I'm in a hetero relationship with a bisexual man, but I definitely know I am bi or pan(idc what your gender is), but for some reason labeling myself as queer feels wrong. Part of me feels like I cannot call myself queer because I've never sexuallu been with a woman and I'm dating a cis man. But I've kissed a few women and I'm VERY attracted to them, cis or trans. I also realize I don't have a type, human is my type. So I'm stating it here to strangers, I am QUEER! Ah feels good to say. Instead of just saying bi or pan. I'll say queer and let people wonder haha
you are not alone!! a lot of that resonates with me 😊 I’m bi & I’m in a very long term relationship with a straight man, so I personally struggle with feeling that “bi erasure” they mentioned. Have a great day, and happy you’re here 🏳️🌈
wow. This video made me feel SO valid! I’m 100000% sure i love everything about women/nonbinary folks but i question my attraction to men almost on a daily basis. All of your responses to those types of questions really comforted me knowing i’m not alone!
I’m attracted heterosexual but I’m attracted to women every day. It end there though. I don’t want to know all their deep dark secrets then make waffles and talk about life.
@@ln3895 You could be biromantic but heterosexual. Meaning, you can have romantic attraction to the same gender without being sexually attracted to them.
rather than gathering the terms of “women” and “nonbinary” together (which tends to communicate that nonbinary people are “women lite”), specifying “non-cis-men” goes a long, long way!
*Recommended Shows/Movies Mentioned:* Saving Face 🎬 I Can’t Think Straight 🎬 Imagine Me & You 🎬 The L Word 📺 Betty 📺 The Bold Type 📺 Pose 📺 Atypical 📺 Euphoria 📺 RuPaul’s Drag Race 📺
I had to rewind 13:01 a few times, and feel the power of that self acceptance. And the message to not rush and she waited til she was 30 wow I hope I can be that brave.
The label thing…Ive mentioned lately that if they’d had more specific labels when I was growing up “non-binary” for instance, I would have felt so much more comfortable. I’m 52, so the labels didn’t exist, and you definitely didn’t talk about it.
@L Costa You! You have a negative perspective. People holding you accountable isn't bossing you around. If it's not nice don't say it. Apparently you didn't have a nice grandma to teach you that.
Conversations about these topics seem to be much more well-rounded and informed than when I was younger. Maybe the community on a whole has grown. This is awesome! Thank you for this video!
Even though I'm not gay,... I really appreciate these videos. Sometimes I have question (even out of curiosity) that I'd like to know the answer to but won't ask because I don't want to offend anyone. We never can know how another person can react or how'd they feel to be asked such a personally question when it comes to such a personal topic such as our sexuality and for that reason,...I don't ask. So,...Thanks!! :)
Also you shouldn't ask because it's not their place to educate you. Not every lgbtq person you'll encounter is a spokesperson for the community, and you should do your own research by listening to lgbtq educators and the many ressources that you can find on social media!
@uwu nya Thank you. As I mentioned above...I don't want to offend anyone. There's no way of knowing how another person can react though, whether it's this topic or another. What if someone does get offended,...the last thing I want is to have someone to get upset with me. Maybe they would think that I shouldn't ask questions because it's such a personal topic, opposed to someone such aaaaas you who feels ok and open about being asked questions on this topic,...ya know??
To anyone in the comments worried about not kissing someone or having any experience in your 20's or beyond, I know it's easier said than done but please know you're not a "freak", I don't see you as less than or unworthy. I think it's wonderful and no one should be judging you based off of that You will find someone who appreciates that about you wholeheartedly ❤️
Thank you so much for the question on how often they felt attracted to men. I think I'm really struggling with comphet and it felt very validating to hear you guys talk about how "attraction" doesn't equal action, especially if action never ends in actual enjoyment.
This is one of my favorite videos as a baby gay! Definitely helped me out to feel more comfortable in my queerness and like a weight lifted off of my shoulders asking the right questions! 💗
When I watched this I wasn't sure if I liked girls or not, this November I finally accepted that I'm bisexual and I have been getting involved in the community. Only three of my closest friends and my girl crush know about my sexuality. Finally!!
I need to do that. I'm in some groups that are in the community but I've only been to one of them a few times and that's it. But I will try this year and check out some more of them.
"I know that they're seeking to understand, but it feels like an attack to have to justify how you're feeling now, especially when like it's already a scary thing to come out." oufff FEEEEEEL this!
Whoa. Whoa. Jazzmyne's answer about the genders of previous partners of "Cuz that many people love me. Believe it." is PROFOUND. I had to pause and just let that sink in. Like seriously, damn. That's a word. That. Is. A. Word.
I love this! In the end they mentioned how we can come out however we want. I came out to my family recently as bisexual. The way I did it was actually kind of confusing. First I posted the rainbow flags on Facebook, then my Twitter, then my Instagram. And my family kept asking me why I had done that. So the day after, I finally decided to tell my mother and sisters that I am bisexual. Then I uploaded a relationship status because I was dating a girl, and to this day I’m still getting a lot of shade even though her and I are no longer together. But this will not stop me from being who I am! For anyone going through something like this, cheers! You got this! You are loved, and valid!
I wanna add to the advice question about coming out Please always make sure you are safe!!! sometimes it’s better to wait with coming out until i.e you have your own place and stuff like that
It's literally like you guys are in my head I've been lesbian forever but lived a hetero life but I just recently came out and now I'm having a very hard time finding a girl in my type zone not even looks necessarily more of personality or even knowing if they are gay it's been so hard😩
Suprised no one mentioned at least 1 lgbt animated show such as she-ra, toh, adventure time, lwa, 12 forever which exclude harmful lesbian stereotypes than most live action lgbt film/shows ..such as lesbian death tropes, general abnormality/confliction due to sexuality, involving a man in said relationships. Let's face it there's still a long way to go when it comes to wlw representation specifically. Animated series have done it best so far.
What a great video. Especially the part where they get asked if they question their sexuality sometimes. This gave me so much more confidence because I also sometimes question my sexuality and now that i know it‘s normal that many queer people question it from time to time makes me feel seen and understood. Thanks for that
When I was still very young I crushed on guys just because I thought they were attractive,and I didn’t know what “in love” felt like,until the first time I fell for a girl.
How old were you when you realised that you were attracted to women? Did you feel like your attraction to men was just there because you thought that's what was supposed to happen for you etc?
7:00, BROOO im so happy someone mentioned these movies, we love to see more queer asian/POC representation. I can't think straight is incredible and so i saving face. If you like either of these movies, try watching The half of it, or even the world unseen
I'm a 23 year old woman and I've had a few experiences with women, but only in almost "pretend" scenarios, for example a truth or dare kiss, ffm threesome or very drunk makeouts with friends. But for some reason those still feel better than 99% of experiences with guys. I wan't afraid, I didn't feel pressured, I didn't feel like I had to conform or look/act a certain way. Just overall more comfortable. I did go on a few dates with one girl, but when she suggested sleeping over I completely chickened out. It felt much easier saying no, though. I've had a lot of boundary issues with men in the past. I am really confused about my sexuality at the moment. I really like the idea of cuddling with a girl but idk about taking it further. With men, I know "what's up" when it comes down to the sexual stuff but I really don't like a lot of aspects of men's personalities (yes I will generalize). I hope to take this new year to really explore myself in a slower and more thoughtful way than I have in the past. I have a handful of queer friends and I want to have more good conversations with them about this topic. Take in more queer media (I started watching RuPaul's drag race and I'm already binging haha). I can't say that I'm att the stage of being "unapologetically me" because I don't even know who I am! But I realize that's fine because I'm young and any previous experiences don't have to define my future. Btw- I really love how you brought up attraction to men because that definitely has me confused. At the end of the day I think I am some sort of bisexual but I can still definitely relate to the "admiring a great package without wanting to unwrap the package" part haha.
Having a partner that questions your sexuality no matter if they mean it seriously or just as a joke is a red flag for me. Not dealing with that toxic attitude.
Thank you so much for making this video. Really made feel happy, when they talked about dressing up I could relate so much. Having these women talk here out and proud really empowered me Thank you all of you
I cannot express how happy i am to be queer because of how much liberty, honesty and positivity the community offers, these kinds of videos just make me so proud for all of us and happy for every single one. i wish all of you the most beautiful times in our community. YOU ARE WELCOME ALWAYS!
One of my best friends is bisexual and has dated girls who are in the closet and it’s definitely caused issues so i totally feel Jazz on kinda making that a requirement.
Thank you so much for this video! There were some questions and ideas that I've been circling around in my head for a long time (even though I already came out 6 years ago), but never discussed or processed them with anyone since I don't have queer friends. This video felt like a wholesome queer community support🥰🙏
This was really refreshing. I’ve recently come to the realization that I’m gay (well, bi specifically), and as someone who’s also never been in a romantic relationship I’m in the process of navigating how I should even come out, if at all. Like, I don’t have any close queer friends. Maybe I just need to open myself up more. But I’m an awkward introvert and I truly don’t know where to even start.
dude I accidently came out to my mom and she was pissed that I didn't tell her sooner, but like when I told her she legit said, "no ur not." Like TF i wanted to know if i was fruity before I told you so it wouldn't be me battling my thoughts and her at the same time yk
This whole thing of not wanting to battle someone else's thoughts on top of your own explains so much about so many of my interactions with people omg :O thank you for verbage
"How did you know your girlfriend was gay?"
"I looked at her"
This 💀
First reply
"Be your own acceptance"... YES!!! I am going to paint that and put it up in my home.
how tho
Bro I came straight to the comment section to look for this comment 💀💀
@@Deleted9525ain’t straight if its on this vid
I cannot state how validating it is to be a young 20 something w no experience and hear that someone didn't have their first kiss until 27
I’m 28 and still waiting on my first gay kiss
I'm 31 and haven't had a first kiss, of any kind 😉
@@catalinabarroilhet4058 I envy you.I wish I never kissed nobody.
She doesn't even look older than 27
@@praxym9293 oh, why??
"don't look for acceptance-be your own acceptance" that went deep
12:57 also love the whole bit advice: Understand, not everyone is going to accept you. Don’t look for acceptance, be your own acceptance. Let people get to know you, because you already know who you are. They just need to catch up!
I really needed to hear that. I am bi and enby and really struggle with presenting myself as the genderqueer person I am in workspace because of the fear of other people not accepting me for who I am. I work in an office and people are expected to dress a certain way and I just can’t fit in with that anymore. Maybe I should just go for it.
Show Yourself (Frozen 2) makes me cry. every. single. time. for this reason.
Hey hello
I’m a stud but single
"Because that many people love me." Yes, Jaz!!!
A word fr!
45.76.207.246/191?ノビエラ ♥️
TH-cam: this is fine
Someon: says "heck"
TH-cam: BE GONE
однако я люблю таких рыбаков++ .
The way that I’m going to say this to all b*llsh
One of my favourite parts that was so cool!
Believe it!
I love that they are all naturally sitting with wide legs. Confident and comfortable. I always sit that way and felt insecure for a long time cuz everyone I knew and saw would cross their legs.
THIS!!
So funny I noticed the same thing, love it!! I remember watching 'save the last dance' as a little girl (which I was already into females by then I only kissed girls in truth or dare lol) but that scene where he's teaching her how to sit with swag and her legs are open, ever since then I've been so comfortable with open legs🤣😂 obviously when the outfit permits if I'm feeling girly and wearing a skirt with a thong I'm more shy I won't sit open legged like that 😂
i sit crossed leg with a cross arm but i'm gay lmfao
@L Costa go to therapy
@L Costa Cerebral offers online therapy for $15+ per week, depending on whether you want to try medication/what services you want to purchase. Good luck!
It’s actually refreshing to hear someone say their first kiss happened at 27 yo, I’m 25 and never had any experience and I always feel like I’m a freak to my friends who did pretty much anything
Don’t feel like you’re weird for not having your first kiss yet. Most asians haven’t even got their first kiss in their 30s😂
Everyone's times are different, don't validate your own experiences through others'. You're fine as is, sweetie.
Me too!
ya it gives me hope. im 24 and havent done anything with anyone either. sometimes i think something is wrong with me. but i try and remind myself that i dont want to rush into anything and that it will all work out
You're not weird. I'm so sick at people having opinions about other people's sexuality. It's literally none of their business.
“Don’t look for acceptance, be your own acceptance” 🥺🥺
💛
The best advice. 🙌🏻
I wish I knew this back in college
26 years old, slept with more men than I can count and going on my first date with a woman this week. I haven’t been excited for a date in years. Thank you for the guidance ❤️❤️
How do u cope with the fact that u v slept with countless men? asking cause I need help coping but I can count.
Not judging cause I am no angel.I just find it hard to move past that
@@praxym9293 I definitely haven’t moved past it either! It’s very new for me and it’s a struggle to reckon with my past with men. But I continue to remind myself that what I’m feeling isn’t wrong and that my journey will not look and feel like anyone else’s. And the people who you decide to let into your life will have to understand that. I can’t go back, but I can embrace what I’m feeling right now as openly as I possibly can! :)
This is ALMOST me as well!!! I'm almost 26, been with many men, recently recognized aloud for myself that I'm attracted to women, hoping I can meet someone and go on a date and get to explore this exciting new reality more!
Hope your date goes/went well!!! 💕
@@slaggeylindsay7464 What do you mean?? Do you mean that it's traumatic or regretful that you slept with many? Also, don't worry any woman who will pass on you for owning your sexuality isn't worth it 👍🏻
Relatable, I've only dated men or trans men, but I have my very first date with my girl crush soon I can't wait 😭
the amount of Birkenstocks in this video is very fitting
Yes! These went out in the ‘90s, everywhere else but our community lol.
@@heidiho5179 HAHAHAHAHAHA
And boots😂
@@heidiho5179 and except Scandinavia 😂 it’s almost a uniform there
@@astrid-3 And except Germany where the brand is from 😅 every family over here has probably at least one pair of Birkenstocks or Adiletten. They’re especially popular as house slippers or for nurses
"Don't look for acceptance, BE your own acceptance" As a Christian woman who is bisexual, THIS is so super important to remember because I had to accept myself as well as other people
Hiiiiii fellow bi female Christian here :)
Realizing I was bisexual as I went through puberty is part of what helped me leave christianity in my mid-teens, and I will never EVER look back. No offense but I do wonder what mental gymnastics you pull, or how you cherry-pick biblical interpretations; to rationalize having homosexual desire but also being christian. I hope you don't limit yourself purely to men because you feel that being with a woman would be a sin, or something like that...
I feel like I don’t see enough of these videos representing our community . I love them and they make me feel “normal “ if that makes sense . Even tho normal isn’t a thing . A lot of people will say this is them pushing their life down their throats but it’s really just being inclusive
Love your pfp
Yes I love that I came across this video I want to really understand myself better as a Bi female and to feel a bit normal but like you said normal isn’t even a real thing
You guys need to do this for bisexuals/pansexuals, trans people, nb people, and gay men.
Isn't Megan fluid?
@@elanh8655 what
@@elanh8655 what lmaooo
very true
Unfortunately I don’t think buzzfeed has that many binary trans people in their circle
as a questioning lesbian, hearing other newly out & questioning lesbians is very affirming thank you :,(
Not gonna lie, as a 35-year-old lesbian who has just truly and finally come out of the closet in the past year, this video made me laugh, cry, and feel seen. Thank you for making this. :)
This is me a 32 year old lesbian 💜
Definitely also want to focus on the “femme (dressing) people don’t read as gay” bit cause it’s really frustrating! I understand it and at the same time, I think it limits us to a certain range of expression within ourselves and our closets. Part of patriarchy’s work has been the war on femme-ness and femininity and honestly f*** that! I don’t want any of that in my queer identity and queer communities. Loving this video for bringing cool things up
I'm very femme and gravitate towards other femmes. I've learned that I have to compensate this by being rather sexually aggressive (nothing creepy though, but heavy flirting). And have yet to be rejected so it does work! It does help that femmes don't give creepy vibes that easily.
Same, I identify as bisexual & pretty femme. I also love my long nails & I worry if a woman sees them, she'll think I'm not attracted to women. Shoot, I'm attracted to beautiful long nails on a woman! Fingering isn't the only lesbian pleasure out there!
Pan agender femme person - so many people voicing doubts if i am truely agender if i truly am attracted to women as well as others.. but in the end i dress for me so w/eva
I’m a bisexual woman and when I came out my style didn’t change at all🤷🏻♀️ I’ve always just worn what I liked and I continue to do that now! Femme queer women exist and are SO valid!
I'm personally a femme lesbian, and honestly, I don't think it "not reading as gay" is true. You just have to know how to do it.
First of all, the earrings trend. Put the stupidest things you can think of on a pair of hooks. Trust me, it reads. Campiness also helps. Don't be afraid to wear some more out there stuff. I personally find fashion often seen in drag a great inspiration. If that's scary for you, which I totally get, go rainbow! Rainbow socks, gloves, hair accessories, your hair itself, shirts, pants. Literally anything can be rainbow. Or even the lesbian flag colors. Make a point to always wear pride bracelets. Do you have shoelaces? Put in beads matching your preference of flag colors.
These women look so young... I was shock to hear the girl say that she had her first kiss at 27 and the other girl came out in her 30s. To me they both look around 25. I guess that’s the benefit of not having to dealt with men all the time.
I really want to see more representation of ultra femme lesbians... If we have more of that, women won't feel like they'll never be read as queer if they dress "too girly"
Agreed
I am fem , people never guess 😂
same i’m femme and i make it KNOWN im a munch but at the same time im tired of people saying you have to dress less femme for people to see you bc that’s bullshir
@@zaynmalikofficail that’s so true.
Yes! But somehow in movies and tv shows the majority of lesbian representation is very fem; we need more lesbian representations of all kinds 👏
"what finger do I use?"
TH-cam PLAYS AN AD WHERE THE ACTORS ARE DRESSED IN GIANT HAND COSTUMES 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That's just the internet SPYING on us lol
I got Old Navy with a bunch of women dancing together, showing off their new jeans sizes. There is a woman who does a hair flip, and I’m just like... Well, you know which finger(s) you like 🙃
@@bubblesbubbleton2747 ha i got the same ad in the same place
@@gretakrueger567 me to lol
So as a bisexual who came out to my friends a few years ago but can't even bring myself to tell me religious parents, I'm glad you said come out when you're ready. This is the reason I'm afraid to go to far into talking to girls I the first place since I can't move to far with a girl in fear of my parents rejecting me
take your time mama 💕 you will always have a family w us.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this :( I hope it all works out. It's so sad how hateful religious people can be.
I’ve learned that family who doesn’t love you for you isn’t family
sending you lots of love 💕💕💕
girll are we the same lol. I'm in the exact same situation and even my first name is the same as yours hahaha
I love labeling myself (hobby or vibes related) because it never has to be permanent. I'm labeling myself so I can change to whatever I feel is right! ❤❤❤❤
This is my first time being introduced to the term “Compulsive Heterosexuality”.
Based on the explanation I agree with the idea (that it exists, that it messes with queer people in their heads).
@L Costa maybe do more research and stop being lesbiphobic lmfao
@L Costa While I don't really experience it as a lesbian, it does exist. Basically, lesbians who are told over and over again that they need to find "the right man" (and gay men who are told over and over to find "the right woman") sometimes internalize that, repressing their attraction to the same gender in the hopes that some day they will be attracted to a member of the opposite gender. Compulsory Heterosexuality is why a lot of lesbians and gay men come out later in life, when they have had more time to figure themselves out.
@L Costa yeah no it does exist. i am not bi i am a lesbian but thought i was bi for a while. i do not want to have w relationship with a man, but because i was raised with the idea that i had to be with a man the idea of not being with them was unreal to me. that’s one of the aspects of comphet
@L Costa yeah except i don’t
@L Costa you are confusing bisexuality (being genuinely attracted to multiple genders) with comphet (heterosexuality being forced upon people and therefore making gay people feel as though they are wrong for not being heterosexual). They are completely different things.
Random fact: There’s a village in Nebraska with a population of 1. She acts as mayor and also pays taxes to herself.
Monowi, NE. Been there. Said hi.
I’m moving there. Period
Hmm
Been there many times.
random fact: being overweight is unhealthy. thats a fact, every doctor will tell you that.
“I dress on what my spirit feels like for the day”
Love that! ☺️
“I don’t have to explain it… cause that many people love me. Believe it” YES SIS! ❤️ Loved hearing that
my two cents would also be: You don't have to come out to somebody you are not comfortable with. Not now or ever. You do not have to come our to your parents, or sisters or aunties or work or whoever. Treat it as any other kind of personal information, not everyone deserves to receive that information or hold it against you. It is completely your decision, on your terms.
Today, I am finally independent. Today there are some family members, I would have never come out to today, just because they broke my trust and they dont deserve knowing me like that. But I usually "come out" to people that respect me. (I just talk as if they already new, e.g. talking about my gf when it fits a subject or something).
Do not feel pressured to come out, do not feel pressured to stay in the closet. Whatever you decide to seek happiness , is gonna be the right choice.
That’s it, I just discuss it casually with whomever I feel comfortable discussing it with. Not as a big deal, just a fact.
This needs more upvotes, this whole comment right here. I don't live in the same country as my parents and I am biromantic & possibly bisexual. I will probably NEVER EVER tell my parents even though I realized a few years ago and I have come out to some people. Luckily that all went incredibly well. I will probably never come out at work while I am in a quite conservative type of career either. (I don't have to do conservative stuff but...it's a long story.) But I feel it's better if people at work DON'T know and I don't know how accepting workplaces would be. Some places would be others I'm not so sure so why risk it. Even my newest social group, it is definitely queer friendly and I know some of the people are queer but even so I don't want to just blurt it out though I dropped a few hints to someone there recently - it depends on how comfortable I feel. I don't think everyone HAS to come out to EVERYONE but of course they can if they want to! And I love and agree with do not feel pressured to come out, do not feel pressured to stay in the closet.
I'm 38 and in 2021 I came out to my parents... and to my husband and my daughter. Everyone has surrounded me with love and support, and I feel so lucky. I think that growing up in a less-friendly era made me more anxious to come out, and I felt like I had to be "100% sure" first -- this video has a lot of wisdom.
that thing about eras is *real*. i think growing up in the 80s scarred me. to this day, i feel anxiety about being really "out there". like letting a job find out, or people at work, or anything remotely PDA in public (it's like there's an ingrained and sometimes subconscious fear of violence). : ( i've wondered what it's like for people who are growing up now, and if the environment all feels a lot more supportive and less dangerous.
PerfectionPending 🧙♀️ I’m not sure if I should make my goal trying to be more confident in that stuff and not worry about it, or if it still is an ever present risk.
“That many people love me, believe it”
Iconic
*27 year old virgin here. It’ll happen when it happens. For me, I’ve always wanted a connection with the person and I haven’t had that yet. And I’m in a spot where I KNOW that I can’t entertain a relationship because of the amount of mental and emotional unpacking I have to do before I could think about being that vulnerable with someone is unreal. **#Therapy*
Amen 👏💯
Sounds like you're a demisexual. Also I love that you're working on yourself. I'm doing the same thing. I'm 24 and haven't dated anyone due to issues in my past. Plus ya know my family would disown me and I'm not in a place where I can be open about liking women.
Keep up the good work! You've got it and you have the right mentality. "If it happens, it happens." Not forcing yourself until you're ready.
Hi! It's easy to say than done and you probably already think about it but here my thoughts: try to face your fears little by little everyday. If you need a break, take a break.
Make changes in your life by listening to yourlsef (how you feel about it). Take babies step that you know you can overcome today.
I'm single sexy handsome boy here any girls woman Lisbon girls bixeaul girls come what's app
I'm in the same situation being 29 years old
I can't wait for the day when we don't have to "come out" anymore.... I wish for a day when people can just be themselves, and it's not a big deal!
buzzfeed has highkey done so much for me as a queer person with basically no other queer representation/education, from when i first realised i was queer to now, and it's just been so incredibly helpful, so thank you guys!
"because that many people love me. Believe it" that made me almost cry.. sometimes I'm ashamed of my past relationships and what it "means I am"...thank you.
I love how the one with short hair that was asking questions touched on the fluidity of sexualyity. She said today she is gay but it changes. I've always thought I was straight but came our as bi in high school, didn't go well, so I suppressed it. I'm in a hetero relationship with a bisexual man, but I definitely know I am bi or pan(idc what your gender is), but for some reason labeling myself as queer feels wrong. Part of me feels like I cannot call myself queer because I've never sexuallu been with a woman and I'm dating a cis man. But I've kissed a few women and I'm VERY attracted to them, cis or trans. I also realize I don't have a type, human is my type. So I'm stating it here to strangers, I am QUEER! Ah feels good to say. Instead of just saying bi or pan. I'll say queer and let people wonder haha
you are not alone!! a lot of that resonates with me 😊 I’m bi & I’m in a very long term relationship with a straight man, so I personally struggle with feeling that “bi erasure” they mentioned. Have a great day, and happy you’re here 🏳️🌈
Pan 4L 🤘🏾
I'm saying it with you
I am proud to be pansexual. Bump this closet door, I'm giving it splinters/shards. 🙌🏽
I'm married and pan, cis relationship. Please don't ever feel less valid in yourself, you are entirely valid! 💖💖💖
So proud of you!
Me too:)
“That’s what’s the older gays taught me when I was a ki…in college”😭😭had to fix that wording real fast
The Curly haired and black shirt woman is BEAUTIFUL 😍...
wow. This video made me feel SO valid! I’m 100000% sure i love everything about women/nonbinary folks but i question my attraction to men almost on a daily basis. All of your responses to those types of questions really comforted me knowing i’m not alone!
@L Costa you came BACK to comment this for what? gtfo.
I’m attracted heterosexual but I’m attracted to women every day. It end there though. I don’t want to know all their deep dark secrets then make waffles and talk about life.
@@ln3895 You could be biromantic but heterosexual. Meaning, you can have romantic attraction to the same gender without being sexually attracted to them.
rather than gathering the terms of “women” and “nonbinary” together (which tends to communicate that nonbinary people are “women lite”), specifying “non-cis-men” goes a long, long way!
the lady with the long wavy hair and black outfit is SO gorgeous omg
It was so interesting and validating to hear y'all's experiences thank you
*Recommended Shows/Movies Mentioned:*
Saving Face 🎬
I Can’t Think Straight 🎬
Imagine Me & You 🎬
The L Word 📺
Betty 📺
The Bold Type 📺
Pose 📺
Atypical 📺
Euphoria 📺
RuPaul’s Drag Race 📺
And gentleman jack! And Feed Good with Mae Martin is incredible.
+
You forgot « Portrait of the lady on fire » and « Mademoiselle »
F*cking Amal is so so good too.
@@nitrogenfr Which one? The Korean one?
‘Don’t look for acceptance,be your own acceptance’.That’s a quote I will remember for the rest of my life
"I dress on what my spirit feels like for the day" - LOVE this, I can so hard relate to it 🤘
That girl with the curly hair and all black... she is perfection: beauty, intellect, confidence. My gay heart 😭😍
I had to rewind 13:01 a few times, and feel the power of that self acceptance. And the message to not rush and she waited til she was 30 wow I hope I can be that brave.
The label thing…Ive mentioned lately that if they’d had more specific labels when I was growing up “non-binary” for instance, I would have felt so much more comfortable. I’m 52, so the labels didn’t exist, and you definitely didn’t talk about it.
@L Costa maybe let's not invalidate someone's experience- especially within a space of safe discussion
@L Costa embarassing 😟
@L Costa You! You have a negative perspective. People holding you accountable isn't bossing you around. If it's not nice don't say it. Apparently you didn't have a nice grandma to teach you that.
@L Costa whatver you say cooky conspiracy theorist 😆
@L Costa I don't understand why you would name call someone for saying they wished these terms existed back in her day.
I'm dating a woman for the first time and it feels so right. I can't believe that I have denied myself for so many years of my life!
Good for you!
Conversations about these topics seem to be much more well-rounded and informed than when I was younger. Maybe the community on a whole has grown. This is awesome! Thank you for this video!
I am girl
And I am bisexual
And I love myself ....
@@trihard____ did she ask🙄
Me too! 😊
@@keiron.4612 nha!! 😂😂😂
Like she should! YAAAS
Nice! Love you as well:)
Even though I'm not gay,... I really appreciate these videos. Sometimes I have question (even out of curiosity) that I'd like to know the answer to but won't ask because I don't want to offend anyone.
We never can know how another person can react or how'd they feel to be asked such a personally question when it comes to such a personal topic such as our sexuality and for that reason,...I don't ask.
So,...Thanks!! :)
Also you shouldn't ask because it's not their place to educate you. Not every lgbtq person you'll encounter is a spokesperson for the community, and you should do your own research by listening to lgbtq educators and the many ressources that you can find on social media!
And this is how to be a true ally
@L Costa Thank you, I appreciate your kind words and encouragement. I'm glad my comment comes with good intention as intended. :)
@uwu nya Thank you. As I mentioned above...I don't want to offend anyone. There's no way of knowing how another person can react though, whether it's this topic or another. What if someone does get offended,...the last thing I want is to have someone to get upset with me. Maybe they would think that I shouldn't ask questions because it's such a personal topic, opposed to someone such aaaaas you who feels ok and open about being asked questions on this topic,...ya know??
@L Costa hey! Not all bi-women~~~~
Ugh I rolled my eyes at their gatekeeping
To anyone in the comments worried about not kissing someone or having any experience in your 20's or beyond, I know it's easier said than done but please know you're not a "freak", I don't see you as less than or unworthy.
I think it's wonderful and no one should be judging you based off of that
You will find someone who appreciates that about you wholeheartedly ❤️
Thank you so much for the question on how often they felt attracted to men. I think I'm really struggling with comphet and it felt very validating to hear you guys talk about how "attraction" doesn't equal action, especially if action never ends in actual enjoyment.
I love this series it's funny but informative at the same time 👭🏻🏳️🌈
Jazmine is a QUEEN!!! I NEED her confidence🥺
This is one of my favorite videos as a baby gay! Definitely helped me out to feel more comfortable in my queerness and like a weight lifted off of my shoulders asking the right questions! 💗
Same
I was both expecting and not expecting the finger question 🤣
Lesbian and queer is not the same thing. Don't get 'em confused. Title says lesbian but I haven't heard it once in the video...
Esp when they said they were attracted to men like??
this is wholesome i literally cried
You're so pretty Andrea
“how did you know your girlfriend was gay?”
“UHH i looked at her?”
IM SLAPPING MY KNEE THATS SO FUNNY I LOVE THAT SM
Haha the "come here" though. Girl she got me questioning my sexuality. That was pretty seductive
When I watched this I wasn't sure if I liked girls or not, this November I finally accepted that I'm bisexual and I have been getting involved in the community. Only three of my closest friends and my girl crush know about my sexuality. Finally!!
I need to do that. I'm in some groups that are in the community but I've only been to one of them a few times and that's it. But I will try this year and check out some more of them.
@@empressofawesome7099 Yesterday I got a girlfriend!!!!
@@sunflowergarden9794 stick to girls only, men are useless
"I know that they're seeking to understand, but it feels like an attack to have to justify how you're feeling now, especially when like it's already a scary thing to come out."
oufff FEEEEEEL this!
I'm a lesbian, but feels weird when someone calls me queer, it's still a weird word for me.
Hello
This is so helpful to me. I don't know any queer women in my life, so I feel very uninformed and confused, but this gives me answers and company.
Whoa. Whoa. Jazzmyne's answer about the genders of previous partners of "Cuz that many people love me. Believe it." is PROFOUND. I had to pause and just let that sink in. Like seriously, damn. That's a word. That. Is. A. Word.
Having content like this can save lives for people who feel completely lost and alone with no queer friends and no one to ask, so THANK YOU
13:14 SHES OVER 30 YEARS OLD!!! GIRLY LOOKS SO YOUNG FOR HER AGE I THOUGHT SHE WAS IN HER 20s!!!
13:01 PREACH HONEY~
I love this! In the end they mentioned how we can come out however we want. I came out to my family recently as bisexual. The way I did it was actually kind of confusing. First I posted the rainbow flags on Facebook, then my Twitter, then my Instagram. And my family kept asking me why I had done that. So the day after, I finally decided to tell my mother and sisters that I am bisexual. Then I uploaded a relationship status because I was dating a girl, and to this day I’m still getting a lot of shade even though her and I are no longer together. But this will not stop me from being who I am! For anyone going through something like this, cheers! You got this! You are loved, and valid!
I wanna add to the advice question about coming out
Please always make sure you are safe!!! sometimes it’s better to wait with coming out until i.e you have your own place and stuff like that
It's literally like you guys are in my head I've been lesbian forever but lived a hetero life but I just recently came out and now I'm having a very hard time finding a girl in my type zone not even looks necessarily more of personality or even knowing if they are gay it's been so hard😩
Where are you based?
Suprised no one mentioned at least 1 lgbt animated show such as she-ra, toh, adventure time, lwa, 12 forever which exclude harmful lesbian stereotypes than most live action lgbt film/shows ..such as lesbian death tropes, general abnormality/confliction due to sexuality, involving a man in said relationships. Let's face it there's still a long way to go when it comes to wlw representation specifically. Animated series have done it best so far.
12 forever! I stopped watching that
Thanks for the recommendations with a great explanation 😊
I was falling off the 'watching buzzfeed' wagon but this was so fun + cute!
Same!!!! I clicked for Jazz, stayed for everyone 🤩
“I’m taking off your pants now.. with consent” is the most relatable thing and lesbian thing in the world 😍
What a great video. Especially the part where they get asked if they question their sexuality sometimes. This gave me so much more confidence because I also sometimes question my sexuality and now that i know it‘s normal that many queer people question it from time to time makes me feel seen and understood. Thanks for that
When I was still very young I crushed on guys just because I thought they were attractive,and I didn’t know what “in love” felt like,until the first time I fell for a girl.
wait bc why does this sound like me……..
How old were you when you realised that you were attracted to women? Did you feel like your attraction to men was just there because you thought that's what was supposed to happen for you etc?
Ok but like she didn’t actually have to go say “come here” with a smirk at the end because what am I supposed to do with this heart dead on the floor
The personalities of everyone here!!! Incredible and perfect
This was super awesome to watch, I really love how unapologetically true you guys are to yourselves!
7:00, BROOO im so happy someone mentioned these movies, we love to see more queer asian/POC representation. I can't think straight is incredible and so i saving face. If you like either of these movies, try watching The half of it, or even the world unseen
Thank you for this video! Even though I’ve been out for years it’s always great to see validating videos like this. More please!
I love all these people. I need to be surrounded with people like you -- thanks for the tips on meeting others within the queer community!
it's so hard falling for a straight friend.
I'm a 23 year old woman and I've had a few experiences with women, but only in almost "pretend" scenarios, for example a truth or dare kiss, ffm threesome or very drunk makeouts with friends. But for some reason those still feel better than 99% of experiences with guys. I wan't afraid, I didn't feel pressured, I didn't feel like I had to conform or look/act a certain way. Just overall more comfortable. I did go on a few dates with one girl, but when she suggested sleeping over I completely chickened out. It felt much easier saying no, though. I've had a lot of boundary issues with men in the past. I am really confused about my sexuality at the moment. I really like the idea of cuddling with a girl but idk about taking it further. With men, I know "what's up" when it comes down to the sexual stuff but I really don't like a lot of aspects of men's personalities (yes I will generalize).
I hope to take this new year to really explore myself in a slower and more thoughtful way than I have in the past. I have a handful of queer friends and I want to have more good conversations with them about this topic. Take in more queer media (I started watching RuPaul's drag race and I'm already binging haha). I can't say that I'm att the stage of being "unapologetically me" because I don't even know who I am! But I realize that's fine because I'm young and any previous experiences don't have to define my future.
Btw- I really love how you brought up attraction to men because that definitely has me confused. At the end of the day I think I am some sort of bisexual but I can still definitely relate to the "admiring a great package without wanting to unwrap the package" part haha.
I’m 22 and legit almost same exact feelings like ur not alone in this!! Def get where you’re coming from 🫶
I feel so safe watching them 🥺♥️
Having a partner that questions your sexuality no matter if they mean it seriously or just as a joke is a red flag for me. Not dealing with that toxic attitude.
“Because that many people love me” 💕 Love that
When I watched this I wasn't sure if I liked girls or not, this November I finally accepted that I'm bisexual. Finally, I'm free!!
This is so helpful tho like I wouldn't know who to ask this questions😂😭
This is so enlightening and comforting. Thanks for this transparent convo! Touching more humans than you know💜
Thank you so much for making this video. Really made feel happy, when they talked about dressing up I could relate so much. Having these women talk here out and proud really empowered me
Thank you all of you
Girl with vegetable / fruit dress has legendary vibes
I cannot express how happy i am to be queer because of how much liberty, honesty and positivity the community offers, these kinds of videos just make me so proud for all of us and happy for every single one. i wish all of you the most beautiful times in our community. YOU ARE WELCOME ALWAYS!
One of my best friends is bisexual and has dated girls who are in the closet and it’s definitely caused issues so i totally feel Jazz on kinda making that a requirement.
Jazzmyne is soo confident in her presence, it feels releasing and warm just to watch her here, imagine how it feels to be nearby...🥰
Thank you so much for this video! There were some questions and ideas that I've been circling around in my head for a long time (even though I already came out 6 years ago), but never discussed or processed them with anyone since I don't have queer friends. This video felt like a wholesome queer community support🥰🙏
literally all of these ppl are so attractive I’m- MARI U HAVE MY HEART😚
i love everyone's energy in this video they all seem so nice!
This was really refreshing. I’ve recently come to the realization that I’m gay (well, bi specifically), and as someone who’s also never been in a romantic relationship I’m in the process of navigating how I should even come out, if at all. Like, I don’t have any close queer friends. Maybe I just need to open myself up more. But I’m an awkward introvert and I truly don’t know where to even start.
dude I accidently came out to my mom and she was pissed that I didn't tell her sooner, but like when I told her she legit said, "no ur not." Like TF i wanted to know if i was fruity before I told you so it wouldn't be me battling my thoughts and her at the same time yk
also everything is fine now so dw she understands now lmao
This whole thing of not wanting to battle someone else's thoughts on top of your own explains so much about so many of my interactions with people omg :O thank you for verbage
The curl method works 90% of the time🔥🔥🔥
12:57 made me literally cry!! That's my motto from now on!!👌
It's misleading when the title of the video includes "Experienced Lesbians" but none of the people in the video identify as lesbians
When she said she didn't have her first kiss until she's 27 I felt assured. No need to rush
It'll happen eventually