Why wouldn't he clone the actual celebs instead of their replicas? Are the replicas just people that kinda/sorta look and sound like them, like Beatles' tribute bands?
Life according to James Nguyen: Being a software salesman is the most exciting profession in the world. Being a creepy stalker will get you laid every time. And there's nothing more fascinating and compelling than watching cars parking.
🤔 I’m so confused as to why this “brilliant” blockbuster movie never got a sequel. It’s 'definitely' better than his Birdemic movies, to which a third installment is getting closer as we speak. At the end of this year, no less. (Yay 😑 I can’t wait. I’m soo ready 🤨 to be amazed by Nguyen’s impeccable moviemaking talents again!)
I've watched SO many Rifftrax and MST3K movies, but to this day, I don't think I've ever laughed harder than the car accident followed by "That's her monument? Was she a celebrated general before the medical job?" (Though the bird with a megaphone and the entire ending here got some pretty good laughs out of me, too).
Just about to start this one, myself, but my RiffTrax standout so far is likely Guy From Harlem, when the hotel room service delivers a bomb instead of the well done NY Strip, Guy says "I can smell a bad(?) steak a mile away." to which Mike hits, "What, are you a cartoon dog?"
You could have been sitting behind that lady, tattooing her arse and you'd still not make a mistake during a crash that slow. it is, dare I say, GENIUS lol
This movie is to Vertigo what Birdemic was to The Birds. That is, it obviously stole it's major plot points wholesale from a Hitchcock film without ever understanding what made the Hitchcock film good.
If you haven't seen this before, don't do any research or googling. Just go into it sight unseen. It's an absolutely astounding film. If you think Birdemic was out there, this is another level.
Normally I am fanatically indifferent to spoilers, but you seem like a good honest sort. I'm doing it, even knowing the sort of agony James Nguyen might be able to inflict on me from a straight ambush. God help us all. D:
'my colleague Dr. Evelyn Tyler informed me that you are the top salesman of your company, that I should look no further than yourself and your company to satisfy my computer needs, in fact she told me you needed to improve your sales performance' I don't expect much from James Nguyen but logical constancy throughout a single sentence would be nice
Sorry to tell you this, but just because he's in a slump doesn't mean he isn't the top salesman. If Michael Jordan is in a slump and is only scoring 19 points a game compared to his average of 28 he is the top scorer on the team and in a slump.
@@joe7923 he was about to get fired unless he improves his sales numbers, unless every other salesman was about to get fired as well for incompetence that doesn't sound like a "top salesman"
@@TheNzFox Well, they _were_ all about to be fired for their incompetence, that was the point of the meeting where the one lame guy tried to blame "the economy". ...I think.
Pro-tip, ladies: if you're dating a guy who's girlfriend just died, and you look like her, and he demands that you dress/act/dye to be even more like her... RUN AWAY!!!
Its just mind boggling this dude made two identical films before birdemic, which is also identical.. and yet still didn't get any better at all. They're not even funny bad or amazing like Neil Breen hahaha
@@tuckerbowen4626 it’s not even like she’s a clone body trying to establish an identity beyond that of her clone-doner. She’s got all Ev’s memories and personality, she just took on a false identity to… idk, keep the clone lab a secret I guess?
the "James James Nguyen-verse" absolutely slayed me. I feel like we really have barely explored all of the car-parking potential. I can't WAIT to see the fanfiction!
I think I somehow love this one more than Birdemic. Probably due to 90% less shrieking "eagles" vs. just a few parakeet chirps . Also, the slow-mo car crash 'death' of the valley girl kidney surgeon gets me every time. Thank you!!
To bring it full circle, David DeCoteau who directed A Talking Cat also directed a movie called Retro Puppet Master starring none other than Greg Sestero from The Room.
Your guy’s dynamic is fantastic. I’ve be a fan for almost 20 years. I’m very happy your still producing content. My mother was a member of your original fan club. Crow sticker on our Cadillac back in the day. Thank you.
I didn't believe anything could be funnier than your riffs of Birdemic or the Talking Cat but as I sit here trying not to piss myself and crying laughing, I realize I was wrong, you absolute geniuses, you unbelievable bastards!
That just reminded me of Paris Hilton's appearance in "The cat in the hat" (Mike Myers). GREAT movie (I need to edit in the deleted scenes, which are CRIMINALLY hilarious), but her appearance in it is just bad. They left HER scene in the movie, but they deleted (example) the scene where the cat pretends to be a fur skin rug in the TV shop. Wow.
"And as she runs off, she triggers the remote denotator they build into every kidney". That is actually a good plot for a murder mystery. Doctor does organ transplant, saving a patient's life. Patient winds up stalking the doctor, until to defend herself the doctor is forced to activate the remote detonator she puts in some of the organs she transplants. Murder mystery picks up, and our dashing investigatress has to find out why this man died, who killed him, and why the hell a doctor is putting bombs into people.
That's actually a terrible idea for a mystery. The person exploded from the inside and had surgery to replace an organ in the last X months. I wonder who did it?!
I work in tech sales and I am watching/listening to this movie as I work. Vertigo is one of my all-time favorite movies. When I glanced over and saw the shot of the two of them near the Golden Gate Bridge it reminded me of Vertigo. Now that I am 40 minutes in and the main character meets the girl that looks like his dead girlfriend…I see what the filmmaker is doing…I was fine when this dude ripped off the birds, but Vertigo? I won’t stand for it.
I don't know how many times I seen this riff already, but every single time makes me laugh even more. Truly James Nguyen is the gift that keeps on giving
James Nguyen staples -The first line abruptly cuts in with all the white noise present. -Long driving scenes (bonus points if it shows every second of the car pulling out and taking off) -Swimsuit lovemaking scenes -Scenes with looping stock bgm -Scenes that end with awkward silence -Everything is going comically well for the characters for the first 30-40 minutes. -Characters speaking in empty platitudes.
You mean “BIRDEMIC 3 - Sea Eagle?” Yes, unfortunately, it is currently in production I’m afraid! (According to his own claims, it will be released at the end of the year.)
This is the first movie I've ever seen that could be declared clinically dead. The script consists entirely of paragraph fragments, each one representing a stillborn subplot And it combines Nguyen's grade school level dialog and delivers in an all encompassing dead voiced monotone so flat and affectless that even a robot would too ashamed to utter This is moviemaking while under the influence of quaaludes.
From watching this directors movies you know that's always been in an aspiration of his to be white. Heck sometimes I wish I was darker so I don't have to worry about the sun hating my skin
Been a fan since the early 90’s of MST3K and gotta say I missed you guys but this this keeps me going sometimes. Movies need riffing and you guys are the best at what you do!
According to this movie, which is deadlier? - 2 cars parking a couple feet apart... or a gun that does not actually fire, but twitches to sound effects from a tape recorder in another room?
Oh my God this is why you don't read comments as you start watching the movie. I'm like, what the frick dumpster fire of a movie did they find this time
Love how James Nguyen never fails to have his characters flex with stock options. Not cash, electronics or a car..but I suppose that last one makes sense since we all know: "She's My Hot Ferrari." Incidently, that was also what James said about Natalie to his fed-up wife before she left him. He didnt have a house or money for her to take in the divorce so sadly she took the last thing he had left..the stock options..and Natalie, just because she begged for it.
It's just Vertigo, if Vertigo was made by somebody who had never seen a film and had no experience of how humans interact with each other. In fact, it's like Vertigo if nothing meant anything to anybody: Revision - It's Vertigo, if Kim Novak was a kidney cloning surgeon who grinds James Stewart on a wipe-down sofa wearing a bikini, before being cloned by a mad scientist with shaky arms and a bullet-less magic firearm.
@@WhiteMonster69 Hahahaha That's a notable quotable line there, I'll be plagiarising that to appear cleverer than I am in the not too distant future, if you don't mind 🙂
is that what Vertigo is about? I assumed Nguyen saw PARTS: the Clonus Horror and went well shit, I can do that. I mean, not with THAT budget, but.. it's already been ripped off once or it was the ripoff, I forget which. The other one was called overdrawn at the brain bank or whatever, right?
@@KairuHakubi Vertigo is Alfred Hitchcock's study of how people destroy other people to make them fit in to an ideal of what their true love should be, regardless of what that does to that person. Ever colour, image, sound and look is used to convey the emotional sickness inside the lead character, watch how the film becomes more and more "sickly green" in it's tones as Jimmy Stewart's insanity increases. So, yes Nguyen, really, really, really likes that film, along with The Birds, and really really really wants his masterpieces to be modern day versions. If only he had the actual skills and creative mindset, along with the actors and somebody who could actually write dialogue like a human being might actually use in real life, he would be there. I've not seen the Clonus film.
@@PerryCJamesUK what a fucking weird concept, let alone one to make a movie on. what kind of sick person thinks that way.. anyway what did that have to do with this movie?
Not since your guys' days on MST3K riffing Prince of Space have I laughed so much. I mean, there was plenty good in between, but c'mon. Prince of Space is a classic. I LIKED IT VERY MUCH. Thanks for laughs over the years, guys.
Aand remember, folks: When you film your movie, you want place the microphone as near to the parakeet cage as possible, to avoid it picking up any troublesome mispronunciation from the actors!
😅 And if the lead actor is speaking from inside a car, place the microphone across the street-for ambient noise, so it doesnt sound artificial like youre making a movie
@54:36 "Tammy "The Real Hitchcock" Hitchcock , she's responsible for many of the stains on this hotels drapes" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣I could not stop laughing at that lol
I could see his influence right away. He's the only director to go out of his way to make sure his film is totally out of focus and fucked up looking. That doesn't happen by accident!
He doesnt just show a woman jogging like some dumbass film school kid-he takes the time to film her returning. A true student of Dziga Vertov’s techniques.
I saw this before but I laughed even more this time. I think sometimes upon first watching movies you Riff, I don't even hear all you guys say because I'm in shock with how bad the movie is. But upon watching them again, I appreciate what you guys bring to it, otherwise one can't stand a minute in without grabbing a knife to stab themselves in the eyes and ears.
How did you guys miss that the "detective" who interviewed the protagonist presented no identification at all? He was probably just some creep who wanted to take the opportunity to ask completely inappropriate and invasive questions of the grieving boyfriend that had nothing to do with the not-at-all-a-fatal-car-accident.
My favorite part of this or any movie…the villain pausing for a moment to plug his side business. Imagine Dr Doom or the Joker stoping mid scheme to try to sell their personal brand vitamins or promote their podcast 🤣
@@patrickstonecrusher I’m sorry I didn’t mean any disrespect to Breen. Trust me if I was to create a Mount Rushmore of directors it would be…. Ed Wood, James Nguyen, Tommy Wiseau and Neil Breen. IMO a film made by Wiseau and Nguyen would tear a hole in the fabric of space and time.
@@jacobschweitzer1068 To be honest with you, I forgot about him. Anyone who has 2 out of 3 of their films riffed on MST3k does deserve to be celebrated.
There's a lot of bad movies out there, but this...? This is the gold standard: -The needlessly and painfully obvious graphical backrounds -Of course no one can act -The horrible line delivery in practically every scene, and how the whole crew couldn't be assed to do another take -The least convincing death scenes of all time -And oh god that ending. THAT ENDING! It has everything! The villain practically breaks the fourth wall and acknowledges the trope of villains needlessly explaining their plans before killing their victims, and then segways *MULTIPLE TIMES* into his awkward and needless hobbies. Portions of this movie feel like Nguyen googled Tvtropes and thought it was a list of guidelines for a good film instead of being things he's supposed to avoid, and his habit of total apathy for quality scenes along with a -$15 budget is just the icing on top. For my money, the single best film on Rifftrax...and by best, I of course mean the absolute worst.
8:45 - I cannot stop laughing whenever she has a line of dialogue. Interesting choice of the actress to portray the organ transplant genius doctor as a 7 year old with brain damage
What a stunning and inspirational movie. The most defeatist, self-loathing, low self esteem'd filmmakers should take note that they can't possibly do any worse.
I'd say Rollergator is the definitive worse that you can do. But yes, if a movie this terrible exists then it should be an inspiration to any filmmakers: all you have to do is not do any of this and your movie will turn out fine.
Just hangin out, hangin out, hangin out with my doctor, having ourselves a lunch date.
Fun fact, you don't lose a kidney they just add a third. Don't think James knows that haha, but they just keep the old one in there. On man has 5
I think you mean..... spiritual love! spiritual love! (repeat for another 45 minutes or so.)
Kevin's laugh at the sudden cut to the graveyard after the ''car crash'' is now my ringtone.
Timestamp?
@@kyleworthington2165 32:30
That's a great idea! I should do that! 😆
Dude, that is freakin’ awesome! 😎
@@nolsee1176 thanks for the time stamp!! Lolol!!!
“I also clone replicas of celebrities”. The delivery of this line and the absurdity was perfect.
Why wouldn't he clone the actual celebs instead of their replicas? Are the replicas just people that kinda/sorta look and sound like them, like Beatles' tribute bands?
Such as Seal
He had to know what kind of movie he was in, right? There's no way that's a sincere performance
"I also do appearances at Birthday Parties."
"I also bring back the dead pets of Celebrities."
etc.
Life according to James Nguyen: Being a software salesman is the most exciting profession in the world. Being a creepy stalker will get you laid every time. And there's nothing more fascinating and compelling than watching cars parking.
I, for one, would love to live in James Nguyen's weird idea of utopia for a day. God's speed, you glorious, crazy film directing ba*tard!!! 😜
So true
Don’t forget, every monetary amount is a nice large round figure.
he projects his fantasy of having huge stock options in every film.
@@johnjamele Love the Rifftrax lines where she calls him "stock option boy" and "Maybe your stock options can save us." LOL
I tripped and fell up 5 flights of stairs and landed here... where this movie is FREE....
THANKS FELLAS...
the cut to the graveyard scene is one of the best reactions in rifftrax/mst3k history
I know. Nelson's "Nooooo!" at that moment is just spot-on. Sometimes the most minimalistic riffs are the most effective ones.
Replica somehow has a better bird performance than Birdemic and it isn't even about birds. Go figure.
🤔 I’m so confused as to why this “brilliant” blockbuster movie never got a sequel. It’s 'definitely' better than his Birdemic movies, to which a third installment is getting closer as we speak. At the end of this year, no less.
(Yay 😑 I can’t wait. I’m soo ready 🤨 to be amazed by Nguyen’s impeccable moviemaking talents again!)
@@BoHolbo Because God hates us all and wants us to suffer for our sins! Obviously.
‘Sir, would you PLeAsE kIll tHAt BIrD???!???!??!!?????’
I mean after the birds projection of dialogue in that "heart and all...YES!!!" scene, those CG birds didn't stand a chance.
"Mrs. Tyler, is your son Steven home? He told me to Walk This Way."
Fucking classic, Best Line in the entire riff!!!!
that one got me!! XD
If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need aftershave!
I’m silently shaking my arms frenetically for an uncomfortable amount of time over the news.
I've watched SO many Rifftrax and MST3K movies, but to this day, I don't think I've ever laughed harder than the car accident followed by "That's her monument? Was she a celebrated general before the medical job?" (Though the bird with a megaphone and the entire ending here got some pretty good laughs out of me, too).
Just about to start this one, myself, but my RiffTrax standout so far is likely Guy From Harlem, when the hotel room service delivers a bomb instead of the well done NY Strip, Guy says "I can smell a bad(?) steak a mile away." to which Mike hits, "What, are you a cartoon dog?"
@@simondaniel4028 --- *Yes, The Guy From Harlem" is truly the funniest RiffTrax episode I've seen.*
You could have been sitting behind that lady, tattooing her arse and you'd still not make a mistake during a crash that slow. it is, dare I say, GENIUS lol
Hilarious
I own three birds, Bill.
No megaphone needed.
Great Rifftrax episode.
The balls it takes to throw constant Hitchcock references into this. Unbelievable.
This movie is to Vertigo what Birdemic was to The Birds. That is, it obviously stole it's major plot points wholesale from a Hitchcock film without ever understanding what made the Hitchcock film good.
@@FabricofTime Yeah, things like acting, camera work, dialogue, talent....
If you haven't seen this before, don't do any research or googling. Just go into it sight unseen. It's an absolutely astounding film. If you think Birdemic was out there, this is another level.
I'm taking this advice. Thanks lol.
@@particularbored6072 Please don't hesitate to report back with your first impression once you've seen it.
Normally I am fanatically indifferent to spoilers, but you seem like a good honest sort. I'm doing it, even knowing the sort of agony James Nguyen might be able to inflict on me from a straight ambush. God help us all. D:
Wow, my vote for the worst sci-fi movie ever 🤓
Every watching is sight unseen because my brain keeps reformatting after watching.
them just laughing is sometimes the funniest
😂"the movie makes its own riffs"
You know what this movie needs? A Rollergator!
Not enough booger breath
'my colleague Dr. Evelyn Tyler informed me that you are the top salesman of your company, that I should look no further than yourself and your company to satisfy my computer needs, in fact she told me you needed to improve your sales performance'
I don't expect much from James Nguyen but logical constancy throughout a single sentence would be nice
Sorry to tell you this, but just because he's in a slump doesn't mean he isn't the top salesman. If Michael Jordan is in a slump and is only scoring 19 points a game compared to his average of 28 he is the top scorer on the team and in a slump.
@@joe7923 he was about to get fired unless he improves his sales numbers, unless every other salesman was about to get fired as well for incompetence that doesn't sound like a "top salesman"
That should’ve been the joke for that moment.
@@TheNzFox Well, they _were_ all about to be fired for their incompetence, that was the point of the meeting where the one lame guy tried to blame "the economy".
...I think.
I'm loving all the free full riffs and shorts you guys are dropping on us. ❤️
They’re spoiling us! ☺️
Yeah, I've bought like eight things from their store in the last month just to thank 'em.
^ This
I wonder if they’ll bless TH-cam with their “Fun in Balloonland” riff.
Yeah, I’ve got some things I saved to my RiffTrax Wishlist that I need to buy.
"YOU ARE NOT EVELYN!" - this from a guy who spent the last two weeks convincing her to dye her hair and dress identically to Evelyn.
Pro-tip, ladies: if you're dating a guy who's girlfriend just died, and you look like her, and he demands that you dress/act/dye to be even more like her... RUN AWAY!!!
@HylianFox3 but what if he accidentally follows her and falls up 5 flights of stairs and lands at her door?
Its just mind boggling this dude made two identical films before birdemic, which is also identical.. and yet still didn't get any better at all.
They're not even funny bad or amazing like Neil Breen hahaha
And she kept getting mad about wanting her to be more like Evelyn despite, y'know, BEING Evelyn
@@tuckerbowen4626 it’s not even like she’s a clone body trying to establish an identity beyond that of her clone-doner. She’s got all Ev’s memories and personality, she just took on a false identity to… idk, keep the clone lab a secret I guess?
This rifftrax brought me to TEARS when i first experienced it.
“Wow! I guess that sectional sofa dry hump was better than it looked!” I’m in stitches. Classic. Thank you, Kevin!
"We were in love"
"Were you dating her?"
I NEED THIS
As for your commentary, it was first-class.
“Were you dating her?”
No, I was doing her taxes what do you think we were in love means?
"We were in love."
"Did you have intercourse?"
I don't think James Nguyen knows how love works.
1:03:18 This scene, where they just kind of shift their weight back and forth to simulate walking absolutely slayed me. F@cking faaaaaaaaantastic!
the "James James Nguyen-verse" absolutely slayed me. I feel like we really have barely explored all of the car-parking potential. I can't WAIT to see the fanfiction!
James bought Neil Breen's 5-disk course on filmmaking and puts every lesson into action.
Come to think of it, why haven’t the Rifftrax guys covered anything by Neil Breen?
@@TF2Fan101 i challenge them to find anything to make fun of in a film by the great Neil Breen
@@Chipotleadvisory The Breenius!
Doesn't James Nguyen teach film making these days?
@@Firguy_the_Foot_Fetishist To who? Pets?
I think I somehow love this one more than Birdemic. Probably due to 90% less shrieking "eagles" vs. just a few parakeet chirps . Also, the slow-mo car crash 'death' of the valley girl kidney surgeon gets me every time. Thank you!!
Hey. . . At least the parakeet chirps were real!
She's supposed to be a "scientist", which really boggles the imagination.
The cut to the cemetery directly after, and the guys laughing is my favorite part of the whole episode.
This one is my absolute favorite next to A Talking Cat?! It never fails to make me giggle, it is a masterpiece
A Talking Cat and Replica are in my top 5 Rifftrax movies.
To bring it full circle, David DeCoteau who directed A Talking Cat also directed a movie called Retro Puppet Master starring none other than Greg Sestero from The Room.
@@Cyraxior You mean sorpans?
Aww, not Repliga*GUITAR NOODLING*
*Ooo! Favorite RiffTrax? Definitely "The Guy From Harlem"! Lost my breath laughing so hard at that one.* 🤣😂
1:03:24 "Now before I kill you both, I'm going to tell you my plans for the human race"
Bill: Oh boy...
such a simple line but it cracked me up haha
‘Now, we’re in deep trouble. I mean, one shot from his gun, and we’re dead. Fortunately...’
‘He starts monologuing?’
‘HE STARTS MONOLOGUING!’
"Do you two mind if I zone out during the 'I vill create a rice of pipple!' speech? I've only heard it three or four hundred times in other movies."
Your guy’s dynamic is fantastic. I’ve be a fan for almost 20 years. I’m very happy your still producing content. My mother was a member of your original fan club. Crow sticker on our Cadillac back in the day. Thank you.
Note to self: NEVER TAKE A HUGE GULP OF WATER WHILST WATCHING A RIFFTRAX! CHOKING LAUGHING CHOKING! Hahaha
I didn't believe anything could be funnier than your riffs of Birdemic or the Talking Cat but as I sit here trying not to piss myself and crying laughing, I realize I was wrong, you absolute geniuses, you unbelievable bastards!
Wait, the main character is a chip salesman? James Nguyen, you can't just lob brand new concepts at us like this!
You have to give a great deal of credit to James Nguyen, he opened up the film industry to people with no talent.
That just reminded me of Paris Hilton's appearance in "The cat in the hat" (Mike Myers). GREAT movie (I need to edit in the deleted scenes, which are CRIMINALLY hilarious), but her appearance in it is just bad. They left HER scene in the movie, but they deleted (example) the scene where the cat pretends to be a fur skin rug in the TV shop. Wow.
No, that was Ed Wood.
"Hey, put on some Larry King" line just came out of nowhere for me. Freaking hilarious.
This movie feels like a high school play that was written by the football coach's son for extra credit in his English class.
And he’d probably be a better director than James Nguyen.
It feels like they shot all the B-roll and establishing shots for a porn, then lost the budget for the sex scenes.
If Neil Breen and James Nguyen collaborated, I think the time space continuum would experience a rift.
James Nguyen NEVER HAD A BEARD!
Neil Breen actually knows filmmaking. Nguyen has no idea how to edit, sound, do a room tone, etc.
James Nguyen needs to work with Tommy Wiseau
I'm glad Rifftrax is stuck in the 'I'm glad' loop
"And as she runs off, she triggers the remote denotator they build into every kidney". That is actually a good plot for a murder mystery. Doctor does organ transplant, saving a patient's life. Patient winds up stalking the doctor, until to defend herself the doctor is forced to activate the remote detonator she puts in some of the organs she transplants. Murder mystery picks up, and our dashing investigatress has to find out why this man died, who killed him, and why the hell a doctor is putting bombs into people.
Sigh. Please don't give Nguyen any ideas.
That's actually a terrible idea for a mystery. The person exploded from the inside and had surgery to replace an organ in the last X months.
I wonder who did it?!
I work in tech sales and I am watching/listening to this movie as I work. Vertigo is one of my all-time favorite movies. When I glanced over and saw the shot of the two of them near the Golden Gate Bridge it reminded me of Vertigo. Now that I am 40 minutes in and the main character meets the girl that looks like his dead girlfriend…I see what the filmmaker is doing…I was fine when this dude ripped off the birds, but Vertigo? I won’t stand for it.
wow you lasted 40 mns? I hope you're 2xing like me, while also not watching but responding to comments...
It feels like James Nguyen has had a total of, like, four thoughts in his entire life. I mean, _these movies are all the same!_ 😂
😂😂😂😂
When something works, it works. If it ain't broke, don't go fix it. -James Nguyen
Some filmmakers evolve as time goes by.
For James Nguyen it's kind of a mobius strip.
We'll have to see how 'Birdemic 3' plays out, but I'm guessing that James Nguyen hasn't changed in the slightest.
😂 So accurate!
@@CharlesXavier spoilers: it's the same f**kin movie again 😂🎉
Every actor has a bad take or flubs a line sometimes. I'm not sure if Nguyen actually knows it's possible to do a second take.
I don’t think he does. 🙁
‘Oops, I messed up my line.’
‘Keep rolling!!!’
@@TF2Fan101 ain't got all day people!
Maybe they could only afford enough footage to film each scene exactly once
It's like watching Decker, but for realsies.
This might be my new favorite Riff. I about died when I saw him "walk" to his desk. 7:37
God bless James Nguyen. He just never knew when to stop.
The car wreck is definitely Oscar worthy!
I don't know how many times I seen this riff already, but every single time makes me laugh even more. Truly James Nguyen is the gift that keeps on giving
James Nguyen staples
-The first line abruptly cuts in with all the white noise present.
-Long driving scenes (bonus points if it shows every second of the car pulling out and taking off)
-Swimsuit lovemaking scenes
-Scenes with looping stock bgm
-Scenes that end with awkward silence
-Everything is going comically well for the characters for the first 30-40 minutes.
-Characters speaking in empty platitudes.
Also, nice round numbers.
You forgot saying words weirdly, like Solpans and Beesvee.
The plot flows like molasses. Perfect for Rifftrax.
It'll age like fine G wine
Fade transitions, where James Nguyen takes Homer Simpson's words to heart: "Why eat hamburger when you can have steak?"
The final masterpiece of the James Nguyen trilogy
You mean “BIRDEMIC 3 - Sea Eagle?”
Yes, unfortunately, it is currently in production I’m afraid!
(According to his own claims, it will be released at the end of the year.)
@@BoHolbo Wait, there was a Birdemic 2 ?!?!?
@@stevenalexander7309 It was the same film, except this time it was sort of self aware, but not in a good way.
@@stevenalexander7309 Yes, and it had-no joke-zombies and cavemen.
@@BoHolbo what!?
Still can't get over that the director greenscreened the cubicle scene.
At least he learned for Birdemic???
😅😅😅
I had no idea what I was in store for... thanks fellas, for making this lonely man laugh
Wow. Come home, Torgo. All is forgiven.
Oh wow. Ya'll that haven't seen this one are in for a treat. This riff and movie is wild.
Well, how about a fifty percent discount? Yes, I'm aware I just cost my company a million dollars.
Thanks for providing this for free!
This is the first movie I've ever seen that could be declared clinically dead. The script consists entirely of paragraph fragments, each one representing a stillborn subplot And it combines Nguyen's grade school level dialog and delivers in an all encompassing dead voiced monotone so flat and affectless that even a robot would too ashamed to utter This is moviemaking while under the influence of quaaludes.
1:02:44 I like how the "solution" to racism is just "be the right skin color" LMAO
I know. That was killing me. I was like how is that the cure for racism?
From watching this directors movies you know that's always been in an aspiration of his to be white. Heck sometimes I wish I was darker so I don't have to worry about the sun hating my skin
Been a fan since the early 90’s of MST3K and gotta say I missed you guys but this this keeps me going sometimes. Movies need riffing and you guys are the best at what you do!
Amen, may the gods bless the folks at Rifftrax/Mst3K
Umm no they don’t!! I can’t focus n he’s talking dumb shyt!! Why would a movie need that? U must be a goof ball for real!
According to this movie, which is deadlier? - 2 cars parking a couple feet apart... or a gun that does not actually fire, but twitches to sound effects from a tape recorder in another room?
Oh my God this is why you don't read comments as you start watching the movie. I'm like, what the frick dumpster fire of a movie did they find this time
The off-screen bird was louder than the gunshots.
Bravo gentleman! To celebrate I’ll share a bottle of G Wine with my wife, who may or may not be cloned.
Love how James Nguyen never fails to have his characters flex with stock options. Not cash, electronics or a car..but I suppose that last one makes sense since we all know: "She's My Hot Ferrari." Incidently, that was also what James said about Natalie to his fed-up wife before she left him. He didnt have a house or money for her to take in the divorce so sadly she took the last thing he had left..the stock options..and Natalie, just because she begged for it.
It's just Vertigo, if Vertigo was made by somebody who had never seen a film and had no experience of how humans interact with each other. In fact, it's like Vertigo if nothing meant anything to anybody: Revision - It's Vertigo, if Kim Novak was a kidney cloning surgeon who grinds James Stewart on a wipe-down sofa wearing a bikini, before being cloned by a mad scientist with shaky arms and a bullet-less magic firearm.
Nguyen loves Hitchcock as much as Neil Breen loves Neil Breen.
@@WhiteMonster69 Hahahaha That's a notable quotable line there, I'll be plagiarising that to appear cleverer than I am in the not too distant future, if you don't mind 🙂
is that what Vertigo is about?
I assumed Nguyen saw PARTS: the Clonus Horror and went well shit, I can do that. I mean, not with THAT budget, but.. it's already been ripped off once
or it was the ripoff, I forget which. The other one was called overdrawn at the brain bank or whatever, right?
@@KairuHakubi Vertigo is Alfred Hitchcock's study of how people destroy other people to make them fit in to an ideal of what their true love should be, regardless of what that does to that person. Ever colour, image, sound and look is used to convey the emotional sickness inside the lead character, watch how the film becomes more and more "sickly green" in it's tones as Jimmy Stewart's insanity increases. So, yes Nguyen, really, really, really likes that film, along with The Birds, and really really really wants his masterpieces to be modern day versions. If only he had the actual skills and creative mindset, along with the actors and somebody who could actually write dialogue like a human being might actually use in real life, he would be there. I've not seen the Clonus film.
@@PerryCJamesUK what a fucking weird concept, let alone one to make a movie on. what kind of sick person thinks that way..
anyway what did that have to do with this movie?
Not since your guys' days on MST3K riffing Prince of Space have I laughed so much. I mean, there was plenty good in between, but c'mon. Prince of Space is a classic. I LIKED IT VERY MUCH.
Thanks for laughs over the years, guys.
I'd swear this was a double feature of birdemic and julie and jack, except it feels longer than both put together.
Oh my god, that ending is fucking gold!!! Nguyen is a mastermind!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Aand remember, folks: When you film your movie, you want place the microphone as near to the parakeet cage as possible, to avoid it picking up any troublesome mispronunciation from the actors!
😅 And if the lead actor is speaking from inside a car, place the microphone across the street-for ambient noise, so it doesnt sound artificial like youre making a movie
@54:36 "Tammy "The Real Hitchcock" Hitchcock , she's responsible for many of the stains on this hotels drapes" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣I could not stop laughing at that lol
It's hilarious how the background of the office meeting scenes is a super-zoomed-in workshop pegboard with the actors badly green-screened in.
If you cloned corn with the Clone-a-tron, would it look like grass?
ROFL
Here’s the more important question: Can you make masks out of that grass?
@@TF2Fan101
Here’s an even more important question: can you smoke that grass?
@@jacksongibbs8998 I don't smoke, so I wouldn't know.
Cornography!
How is it possible this guy delivers his lines the exact same way the guy from Birdemic does
That's James Nguyen's directing genius right there.
Oh my god. The best car accident ever shown during a film accident.
That whole scene was so goddamn funny I just couldn't believe it.
Unless the drivers were trained, that must have been done with camera tricks and stop motion editing.
The best car accident scene ever...
Of all time.
Fatal Findings (2013)
@@patrickstonecrusher Ooo, I do wonder if they'll ever riff a Neil Breen movie.
"Okay, frog in a blender, start my day off right."
"You ain't got BALLS!"
"Oh, frog in a blender, I do. I do. But soon? You won't."
Good lord. I thought to myself that this movie was going to be rough. The first "shot" really drove that reality home. Suck it Vertigo.
I could see his influence right away. He's the only director to go out of his way to make sure his film is totally out of focus and fucked up looking. That doesn't happen by accident!
It takes commitment 😂
Constant shots of driving and parking? Gotta be Nguyen. 😂
@@ZERO_O7X No one captures the feeling of parking like Nguyen.
“Walk less like a human! And mumble more!”
He doesnt just show a woman jogging like some dumbass film school kid-he takes the time to film her returning. A true student of Dziga Vertov’s techniques.
That car crash put Tarantino's deathproof to shame ;)
Wow! Just wow!
'we're talking about pocket-sized pet velociraptors' LMAO
This really relieves my jobstress. Thanks guys!
4:45 - *bird squawk off screen*
Oh sweet jesus it's a Birdemic prequel!!!! RUUUUN!!
I hope one day, one of the actors from a James Nguyen's movie writes a tell all book, a la The Disaster Artist.
I saw this before but I laughed even more this time. I think sometimes upon first watching movies you Riff, I don't even hear all you guys say because I'm in shock with how bad the movie is. But upon watching them again, I appreciate what you guys bring to it, otherwise one can't stand a minute in without grabbing a knife to stab themselves in the eyes and ears.
How did you guys miss that the "detective" who interviewed the protagonist presented no identification at all? He was probably just some creep who wanted to take the opportunity to ask completely inappropriate and invasive questions of the grieving boyfriend that had nothing to do with the not-at-all-a-fatal-car-accident.
But he comes with queue cards, maybe that eases the interviewees minds 😅
My favorite part of this or any movie…the villain pausing for a moment to plug his side business. Imagine Dr Doom or the Joker stoping mid scheme to try to sell their personal brand vitamins or promote their podcast 🤣
This movie was so bad I actually bought an unriffed copy to show to my parents (we also saw Birdemic).
Soooo, you hate your parents?
Bought Birdemic on bluray for 5 bucks from a Buybacks...
@@Aforementioned 😂😂😂🤣🤣
Can you just imagine the cinematic gold we would see if James Nguyen and Tommy Wiseau joined forces and produced a movie together!
Yall act like Neil Breen doesn't exist.
@@patrickstonecrusher I’m sorry I didn’t mean any disrespect to Breen. Trust me if I was to create a Mount Rushmore of directors it would be…. Ed Wood, James Nguyen, Tommy Wiseau and Neil Breen. IMO a film made by Wiseau and Nguyen would tear a hole in the fabric of space and time.
What about coleman Francis
@@jacobschweitzer1068 To be honest with you, I forgot about him. Anyone who has 2 out of 3 of their films riffed on MST3k does deserve to be celebrated.
There's a lot of bad movies out there, but this...? This is the gold standard:
-The needlessly and painfully obvious graphical backrounds
-Of course no one can act
-The horrible line delivery in practically every scene, and how the whole crew couldn't be assed to do another take
-The least convincing death scenes of all time
-And oh god that ending. THAT ENDING! It has everything! The villain practically breaks the fourth wall and acknowledges the trope of villains needlessly explaining their plans before killing their victims, and then segways *MULTIPLE TIMES* into his awkward and needless hobbies.
Portions of this movie feel like Nguyen googled Tvtropes and thought it was a list of guidelines for a good film instead of being things he's supposed to avoid, and his habit of total apathy for quality scenes along with a -$15 budget is just the icing on top.
For my money, the single best film on Rifftrax...and by best, I of course mean the absolute worst.
I’m glad this movie will be available for free.
It's not worth free.
@@calsavestheworld I’m glad you made this comment.
When Bill called this a James Nguyen joint I couldn't help imagining the worst possible joint; taped together and stuffed with stems/seeds.
And eyelids forced open with paperclips. 🥺
I was picturing a really arthritic painful hip.
Ah, yes, that legendary strain known variously as "Brown Frown," "Peoria Kush," or "Seedy Weedy." We've all had it.
resin scrapped from a one hitter
…after it’s been vacuumed up from the floorboard of your Ford Aerostar
Thank you Riff Trax!
"sudden onset edward cullen" was my favorite riff
What a terribly goofy movie with an amazing riff, truly one of your best!
I can't stop laughing at this comment. lol
I'm completely convinced that James Nguyen has no idea how dating/relationships work🤦
Someone who went through life relying on looks. 😂
‘THAT’S NOT HOW DATING WORKS!!!!!!!!’
James Nguyen knows as much about dating as he knows about making good movies.
That's because his a humanoid lizard person or a moleman
Or anything, really.
Did they give that bird its own mic? Because holy hell is it loud.
8:45 - I cannot stop laughing whenever she has a line of dialogue. Interesting choice of the actress to portray the organ transplant genius doctor as a 7 year old with brain damage
5:52-Gonna have to use “How’s your kidney today?” as an icebreaker…I’m sure I’ll never get slapped!
Just gotta say it from the window as you drive alongside a jogger
Im kind of beesvee at the moment, but ill be sure to watch tonight!
"...I also clone replicas of celebrities..." Lost it!
What a stunning and inspirational movie. The most defeatist, self-loathing, low self esteem'd filmmakers should take note that they can't possibly do any worse.
I'd say Rollergator is the definitive worse that you can do. But yes, if a movie this terrible exists then it should be an inspiration to any filmmakers: all you have to do is not do any of this and your movie will turn out fine.
Look, I can't watch this right now, I'm extremely beesvee.
Quite possibly the best Rifftrax ever. I can't stop watching this.
The DNA graphics in the opening credits is the most exciting part of the film.
Oh my,.. 😄32:33 the guys lose it laughing.
😄😄😄
Almost peed myself.🌊