Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Tough stuff, but perhaps the best thing to do is to take care of yourself. Go to the gym or go out to run, it will feel distracting. Also: Think positively: You have all the time and money for yourself now, ever wanted to start some hobbies? Now is the time to focus on yourself. Good luck, man
Not me, I treat everything like gold. Because I know that some day I won’t have that. Wether it’s a family or my job or my cat, someday all those things will leave me, so I make everyday like it’s my last
We should cherish every moment, treasure everything, and appreciate every person that graces our lives. Whatever happens, happens for a reason, and ultimately for our good.
And that's when the feeling of grateful, the gratitude, in. Remember that, we should be grateful on everything we have, whether we got them for free or by hardships, otherwise, we're just going to neglect the value of what have been granted to us. You see, everyday we've been granted this air to breathe, eventhough it's just a common thing, but for some people, they have to pay for the same air that we breathe for free. Thanks for the reminder
Nah, it could be an anxiously attached person in general. You know how you often hear securely attached or even avoidant people talking about how being with an avoidant messed them up enough to make them act kind of anxious? The same thing can happen the other way around. Anxiously attached people’s behavior isn’t always a response to an avoidant partner. And even then, it’s often mutual: it’s just that the anxiously attached person often doesn’t realize what little things triggered the avoidant or refuse to acknowledge them as anything other than normal things that shouldn’t trigger anyone, and therefore shouldn’t be taken into account in the equation, failing to do the same the other way around.
Give from your heart when you give to others, not expecting something in return. Some will appreciate, some will not, but in the end be happy that you did something good for them (without reproaching them something). And the same you give to others, give to yourself, do not forget that.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm glad the video resonated with you and helped bring some clarity. Understanding these patterns can be a significant step toward personal growth and healthier relationships in the future.
I give to the people who are appreciative of my giving if they don't appreciate the effort I put in to give them something then they aren't worth it. Yeah it does make someone feel good to give but not if they aren't shown gratitude for having put in the effort to help someone out. My last problem on this matter is that everyone has different levels of what they feel they need hygiene being on most people's list but in my list of needs is barely enough to count on one hand 1: air 2: water 3: sleep 4: shelter 5: food. That's all that is needed and ever will be needed for anybody to survive and sustain life.
GUILTY as charged.... was neglected and abused by parents so I over-give when interested in someone romantically. I've become conscious of it through videos like this (YT is my therapist!) and I've quietly toned it down. As a result I've noticed the other person is drawing closer to me and is more relaxed with me. It's not fun being a male Sally Fields ("You like me! You really like me!), LOL but I'm learning by connecting the dots. This "over-giving" can happen when you never get support, only criticism or neglect as a kid....
Keep connecting those dots and learning. Growth and self-awareness are ongoing processes, and you're clearly on the right path. It's great to hear that your efforts are already making a positive difference.
I feel this. I have extreme form of disorganized attachment (borderline personality disorder) and I wanted to 'secure' myself through people pleasing. Needless to say, it didn't work out.
When do you feel like overgiving? When you slightly start to resent the other for not reciprocating! That's the moment i stop everything and fill my own cup❤
It feels good to give and feels good to get appreciated. If you feel the other person isn't giving what you'd like, then tell them, but in an encouraging non condescending manner, because it would make you happy, fulfilled etc. If the other person doesn't want to or can't, then it's time to reevaluate the interaction. Likewise if what you give isn't being appreciated then stop giving it, the other person may start to understand that they liked what you gave and show more appreciation when you then do give. With dignity and respect for yourself and others, guard your energy and don't squander it carelessly.
This sums up my relationship with my mother. Her making me favours I don't need and didn't ask for so that she could feel happy, needed and me to feel guilty and obliged to her. And I can't repay ever - first of all its exhausting. Secondly, I didn't need her to cook me dinner. I didn't need her to come to my house. I didn't need her to clean my windows. I didn't need her to carry heavy packages - I just needed a moment to do it safely by myself but instead I just had to witness her pain as she was walking. Thanks mom! Good thing is at least I recognize these subconscious manipulations even when she doesn't. So I can turn off my guilt really quick. But I still can't forget how she made me cry for trying to help her carry a packet with things. So much aggression for trying for help that I bowled my eyes out. And that's the reason I don't help her anymore - I was taught that helping is bad, it's a conflict and its always an emotional stress
I was suicidal and couldn't find a reason for living, so making the person I love happy became my only way to redeem my self worth (She didn't love me). She was burdened by it, I see it now. It hurts.
I'm truly sorry to hear about your pain, and I hope my content helps you on your journey to self-discovery and healing. It's important to find worth within yourself, not just through others. We're all in this together. ❤
I'm so sorry to hear that and my heart reaches out to you. it may sound cliché but I sincerely hope that one day you will be the person you love and you want to make happy and this will be your reason to live. i'm on the same path with you. may we get there at some point ❤🩹
May it only hurt for a while (or for as long as you allow it to) and may the pain you feel be transformed into growth and learning. May you attract people who love and like you for you, you need not do anything.
A childhood trauma that will destroy a future relationship. Clear communication and awareness will save it but its hard and not everyone will show their weakness.
Being generous person often you generally want them to have what you never had growing up and be better off, or be happier ,these genuine sacrifices dont need something in return, very few possess this trait.
@@Valdivia9494which is true in a sense. No one forces one to give to the other. Even when they ask, you do want to be supportive of your partner so you give freely they don't force you.
@@sallywangari3180 yeah it's true in a sense. But a relationship is kind of like a family and kind of like a team. There should be reciprocity to some extent or it truly won't work. The problem arises when someone thinks it's ok to just take from the other person. Usually happens with someone who has narcissistic tendencies or is simply too immature to care.
@@sallywangari3180 good question, I think that the difference is a little abstract. When you do something for someone that you love, you feel a certain joy, their happiness is felt almost as your own, whereas if it would be just an exchange, you don't need to care, you can care only about your reward. Another case I'd like to mention lies in whether, that something you do, is a big sacrifice or not (or too many small sacrifices for that matter). You should totally expect reciprocity if a big sacrifice is asked from you. If your partner sees you as a human being as valuable as they see themselves, they would treat you with the same kind of respect and as someone worthy of the same kind of sacrifice, given a similar situation arises. You shouldn't ask for something you wouldn't do yourself. There can be extreme life or death cases, but this covers most normal situations.
This video has just perfectly explained to me why I escaped my overgiving friend. He was never listening to me saying I don’t need those gifts; when I said I feel burdened and obliged, replied “you shouldn’t feel that way” and in general would keep randomly gifting stuff to me. And, while saying he doesn’t expect anything from me, he refused my attempts on significant gifts himself… and would randomly mention the things he gave me. It felt burdensome, suffocating, even infuriating at times. I know he isn’t a bad person, and I rather felt as a bad one myself… but damn, how better my life became after I stopped talking to him. I can’t even express the difference.
You are heartless. At least you had someone to give you gifts. I would love free stuff ❤ but you? Oh, but you feel “burdened” right? Ungrateful and selfish. Why must you be this way?
You are heartless. At least you had someone to give you gifts. I would love free stuff ❤ but you? Oh, but you feel “burdened” right? You are UngratefuI and seIfish. Why must you be this way?
You are heartless. At least you had someone to give you gifts. I would love free stuff ❤ but you? Oh, but you feel “burdened” right? Why must you be this way? It’s true, you are a bad person. And don’t you forget that…
You are heartless. At least you had someone to give you gifts. I would love free stuff ❤ but you? Oh, but you feel “burdened” Why must you be this way?
One last thing: people are so ungrateful. You take things for granted. Ask yourself why you didn’t want the gifts, and why not talking to him made your life better. How did it get better? By not accepting gifts? That makes no sense. That’s like saying my life got better cuz I stopped putting on my Nike shoes, or my life got better cuz I stopped eating vanilla ice cream… such a petty thing makes you proud for some reason. Why? It’s not like he was abusing you, yet you make it seem like he was…
I think the point of the video is an over giving person is not giving from the heart. They have ulterior motives for their giving which is unfair to place on someone who didn’t ask for anything from you.
Wow! Thank you for this information, its really made me think alot about why I give so much. In certain relationships I have too high of expectations, expecting them to reciprocate in the way I think they should reciprocate. When they don't, I can become passive-aggressive and mad (which is against what my heart really wants) because I feel unloved and uncared for. I know that I have a tendency to do this so I have worked hard to change my thinking and my heart so I don't expect others to do what I would do. Somehow I also think that I will be loved more if I give, give, give and I feel quite sad after I give/sacrifice, and there is nothing from that person, or very little. So your video is what I have needed. Thank you!
This makes me remember the story I read when I was a child. There's a collage student in a boarding school that have ecconomically poor friend beside her room. Sometimes she give her friend foods and things that the school needs. But she also ask something to her such as salt, borrowing pencil, and any other small things. Because she doesnt want the other person to feel burdened She gave the other person the ability to help too.
Perhaps its the context .....of feeling unappreciated When one person is over doing bcuz their partner is under doing then resentment and exhaustion arise. Its not over giving but over DOING, If your person EXPECTS or demands that you do their chores, errands, etc then YOU are being taken advantage of. They are using and abusing you to their gain. Let them clean up their own mess, clean their own house, cook their own meals, do their own shopping. Stop cow towing to them. People will continue to take and walk on you if you let them . 🤚🏼
It's hard to accept. I may have manipulated people I love by giving. .I am a shamed to admit. It makes perfect sense now. she left and I am now alone. She said I was suffocating and intense. She needs space. I get it now. Thank you for opening my mind.
Honestly, i know that I will always 'give' for the person i love and care, sometimes got over-given, because i know that i didn't do this to anyone. Right? In the other hand, i also know that there might be times when we, are the one who going to be given. Give and be given, it's a cycle, bro. That's why for people who are always given, by others, be grateful, bro, and have an understanding to pay them back, it's okay if it is not the same value. A prayer is also a good thing to do, you can keep a good prayer for them, bro, everyday, pray a good prayer for them every single day, prayer is powerful, believe it
i think this perfectly summarizes the dynamic between a lot of relationships in relation to the women always doing the cleaning and the men just sitting on the couch. Like can you just stop please
@@adrianaloborec2205I think the point they were trying to make is that there needs to be a conversation about what “clean” means and what the expectations should be. So many people live lives of quiet desperation because they won’t talk about what they are looking for specifically.
So true, my ex bombed me with gifts and expected me to please him emotionally in return, this was so uncomfortable, no wonder our relationship didn't last for long.
Wow, you found me and gave me exactly what I needed to hear. This is exactly what I just did in my last relationship. (And several before...) Perfectly timed and so helpful! Thank you so much!
This was me to the T in my last relationship. I didnt realize this was the problem until after the breakup. He said the whole relationship was stressful. I see why. Thanks for making this video so it ckicks.
It's not always easy to recognize these patterns while we're in the midst of a relationship. I'm glad the video helped bring some clarity and understanding for you. If you have any more questions or need further insights, feel free to reach out. Don't forget to like and subscribe for more content that can support you on your journey. 😊
I'm so glad to hear that !!! Your kind words mean a lot. Thank you for watching! Don't forget to like and subscribe for more content. Your support is much appreciated! 😊
You're lucky...I overdid this and made everything worse, ruined the relationship. Don't do this... Less, almost nothing is better. I felt this but couldn't stop it, at a good time...
Not all people is that way. I give a lot, and I never say I did this for you. Of course I expect reciprocation, but I know everyone is different and may not reciprocate the same way. As long as I feel loved, I will keep giving, but I dont shut up about my own needs, I have my standards.
If the other person has no need for it I won't bother and it won't affect me. However, when you give it is right for it to appreciated, what is life without appreciation? The Lord gave us life and we appreciate him every day for it. And he does more.
Your partner is upset you don’t have something for you both to do this weekend. You ask what would you like to do. They’re then disappointed that you’re not surprising them with a plan. You create, ask, pay for a plan which they then judge. You want to connect, you’re willing to give. They contribute nothing. Occasionally they spontaneously surprise you. You roll with it. You don’t show up late. You have no choice. You don’t judge or complain. What would be the point. Its really all about their needs. You need your efforts appreciated by reciprocation or you stop making them. Then the only relationship you have is no relationship.
The problem to overgive may lie in the deeper obvious effort-reward complex of extroverted and narcissistic brain functions.Certainly the narrator made the point that one does so in order to win relationship. When gratitude can be uneven bracing that moral dilemma is then a challenge for empathy and tolerance.
This makes sense, hoewever, I been in situations where I’m being played, nagged and made guilty that I wasn’t attentive enough or I should give more…..then when I give by obliging them then they wanna withdrawal. I’m too selfish to “give” for people to like me😂 I “give” because there was a NEED.
I think the main takeaway from this video is that giving must be done altruistically other than transactional relationship. I give you Super Thanks $ and hope you don't mind replying with a "Thanks!" or even a longer reply. 😂
Hey man, you have a great insight in this video! It would be nice if you showed your face and used your real voice, and not just an AI generated one! I've watched a few videos on your channel, and I can see it has great potential! It's really important in today's world to show you're a real person who creates real content, based on real knowledge, and not just AI generated nonsense! Keep up the good work! 😊
I highly appreciate the content, very timely and it nurtures our intrinsic elements, thought provoking and offers a lot of introspective self reflection. Cheers brother. You're making an impact to the universe.
Thank you so much for your encouraging words! I'm thrilled to hear that you found the content thought-provoking and impactful. It's truly rewarding to know that the videos are resonating with you and helping with introspection.
A lot of BS being thrown around here. Generosity is the essence of humanity and empathy. Too bad it is at odds with a culture of individualism. Individualism leads to narcissism Narcissists cannot deal with their own shame when they need help. It is not the fault of the giver who gives from their heart.
Sorry for the less-than-perfect grammar in this video. The content was dictated and compiled from my notes, and with the rush of daily uploads, things can get a bit hectic. I appreciate your feedback and will definitely pay more attention to it in the future. Thank you for understanding!🥲
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Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Tough stuff, but perhaps the best thing to do is to take care of yourself. Go to the gym or go out to run, it will feel distracting. Also: Think positively: You have all the time and money for yourself now, ever wanted to start some hobbies?
Now is the time to focus on yourself. Good luck, man
Let's be honest, it's just human nature to take for granted what is free and plentiful and treasure what we have to fight and work hard for.
correct
Fully agreed
Not me, I treat everything like gold. Because I know that some day I won’t have that. Wether it’s a family or my job or my cat, someday all those things will leave me, so I make everyday like it’s my last
We should cherish every moment, treasure everything, and appreciate every person that graces our lives. Whatever happens, happens for a reason, and ultimately for our good.
And that's when the feeling of grateful, the gratitude, in. Remember that, we should be grateful on everything we have, whether we got them for free or by hardships, otherwise, we're just going to neglect the value of what have been granted to us. You see, everyday we've been granted this air to breathe, eventhough it's just a common thing, but for some people, they have to pay for the same air that we breathe for free. Thanks for the reminder
It’s likely an anxious attachment person fawning on an avoidant who wants to run away
Nah, it could be an anxiously attached person in general. You know how you often hear securely attached or even avoidant people talking about how being with an avoidant messed them up enough to make them act kind of anxious? The same thing can happen the other way around. Anxiously attached people’s behavior isn’t always a response to an avoidant partner. And even then, it’s often mutual: it’s just that the anxiously attached person often doesn’t realize what little things triggered the avoidant or refuse to acknowledge them as anything other than normal things that shouldn’t trigger anyone, and therefore shouldn’t be taken into account in the equation, failing to do the same the other way around.
Bruh…. You just hit me way too hard with this statement. I’ve been the anxious attached fawning on an avoidant..
I dated someone like that honestly.
No its a kind loving person chasing a careless narcissist
Give from your heart when you give to others, not expecting something in return. Some will appreciate, some will not, but in the end be happy that you did something good for them (without reproaching them something). And the same you give to others, give to yourself, do not forget that.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm glad the video resonated with you and helped bring some clarity. Understanding these patterns can be a significant step toward personal growth and healthier relationships in the future.
I give to the people who are appreciative of my giving if they don't appreciate the effort I put in to give them something then they aren't worth it. Yeah it does make someone feel good to give but not if they aren't shown gratitude for having put in the effort to help someone out. My last problem on this matter is that everyone has different levels of what they feel they need hygiene being on most people's list but in my list of needs is barely enough to count on one hand 1: air 2: water 3: sleep 4: shelter 5: food. That's all that is needed and ever will be needed for anybody to survive and sustain life.
A wise pastor once said: "If appreciation is your fuel for giving, then your tank will be empty". Pastor Debleire Snell, Breath of Life TV.
shinzou sasagayo!
All this works as long as the other person is not a narcissist.
GUILTY as charged.... was neglected and abused by parents so I over-give when interested in someone romantically. I've become conscious of it through videos like this (YT is my therapist!) and I've quietly toned it down. As a result I've noticed the other person is drawing closer to me and is more relaxed with me. It's not fun being a male Sally Fields ("You like me! You really like me!), LOL but I'm learning by connecting the dots. This "over-giving" can happen when you never get support, only criticism or neglect as a kid....
Keep connecting those dots and learning. Growth and self-awareness are ongoing processes, and you're clearly on the right path.
It's great to hear that your efforts are already making a positive difference.
I feel this. I have extreme form of disorganized attachment (borderline personality disorder) and I wanted to 'secure' myself through people pleasing.
Needless to say, it didn't work out.
When do you feel like overgiving? When you slightly start to resent the other for not reciprocating! That's the moment i stop everything and fill my own cup❤
It feels good to give and feels good to get appreciated.
If you feel the other person isn't giving what you'd like, then tell them, but in an encouraging non condescending manner, because it would make you happy, fulfilled etc. If the other person doesn't want to or can't, then it's time to reevaluate the interaction.
Likewise if what you give isn't being appreciated then stop giving it, the other person may start to understand that they liked what you gave and show more appreciation when you then do give.
With dignity and respect for yourself and others, guard your energy and don't squander it carelessly.
This sums up my relationship with my mother. Her making me favours I don't need and didn't ask for so that she could feel happy, needed and me to feel guilty and obliged to her. And I can't repay ever - first of all its exhausting. Secondly, I didn't need her to cook me dinner. I didn't need her to come to my house. I didn't need her to clean my windows. I didn't need her to carry heavy packages - I just needed a moment to do it safely by myself but instead I just had to witness her pain as she was walking. Thanks mom!
Good thing is at least I recognize these subconscious manipulations even when she doesn't. So I can turn off my guilt really quick. But I still can't forget how she made me cry for trying to help her carry a packet with things. So much aggression for trying for help that I bowled my eyes out. And that's the reason I don't help her anymore - I was taught that helping is bad, it's a conflict and its always an emotional stress
We need more Wu Wei in our lives. It's a Taoist principle: do nothing, allow the flow, force nothing.
Like vampires do!
@@zanav138 Well, vampires do have to be forceful and/or manipulative at times. It's not like necks will just present themselves! 😅
I was suicidal and couldn't find a reason for living, so making the person I love happy became my only way to redeem my self worth (She didn't love me). She was burdened by it, I see it now.
It hurts.
I'm truly sorry to hear about your pain, and I hope my content helps you on your journey to self-discovery and healing. It's important to find worth within yourself, not just through others. We're all in this together. ❤
I'm so sorry to hear that and my heart reaches out to you. it may sound cliché but I sincerely hope that one day you will be the person you love and you want to make happy and this will be your reason to live. i'm on the same path with you. may we get there at some point ❤🩹
May it only hurt for a while (or for as long as you allow it to) and may the pain you feel be transformed into growth and learning. May you attract people who love and like you for you, you need not do anything.
Life is just a joke honestly
A childhood trauma that will destroy a future relationship. Clear communication and awareness will save it but its hard and not everyone will show their weakness.
Needle in a haystack?
Morality has two pillars: 1. Reciprocity (Fairness), 2. Compassion (Empathy). So think and act accordingly.
@@meeckemann5692 this
Being generous person often you generally want them to have what you never had growing up and be better off, or be happier ,these genuine sacrifices dont need something in return, very few possess this trait.
Except parents towards their own children, usually. But towards anyone else? Rare
Thanks! That is one of the best lessons anyone can learn. Anyhow, chasing people drives them away. And over-graciousness erodes self respect.
"Niceness" in a nutshell:
Only give to those who ask, and even at that, put yourself first🙂
Sometimes even when they ask, they got the nerve to tell you "I didn't force you to do it"
@@Valdivia9494which is true in a sense. No one forces one to give to the other. Even when they ask, you do want to be supportive of your partner so you give freely they don't force you.
@@sallywangari3180 yeah it's true in a sense. But a relationship is kind of like a family and kind of like a team. There should be reciprocity to some extent or it truly won't work. The problem arises when someone thinks it's ok to just take from the other person. Usually happens with someone who has narcissistic tendencies or is simply too immature to care.
@@Valdivia9494 true true. How do you differentiate the law of reciprocity from tit for tat a.k.a expecting something in return?
@@sallywangari3180 good question, I think that the difference is a little abstract. When you do something for someone that you love, you feel a certain joy, their happiness is felt almost as your own, whereas if it would be just an exchange, you don't need to care, you can care only about your reward. Another case I'd like to mention lies in whether, that something you do, is a big sacrifice or not (or too many small sacrifices for that matter). You should totally expect reciprocity if a big sacrifice is asked from you. If your partner sees you as a human being as valuable as they see themselves, they would treat you with the same kind of respect and as someone worthy of the same kind of sacrifice, given a similar situation arises. You shouldn't ask for something you wouldn't do yourself. There can be extreme life or death cases, but this covers most normal situations.
“No good deed goes unpunished”
This video has just perfectly explained to me why I escaped my overgiving friend. He was never listening to me saying I don’t need those gifts; when I said I feel burdened and obliged, replied “you shouldn’t feel that way” and in general would keep randomly gifting stuff to me. And, while saying he doesn’t expect anything from me, he refused my attempts on significant gifts himself… and would randomly mention the things he gave me. It felt burdensome, suffocating, even infuriating at times. I know he isn’t a bad person, and I rather felt as a bad one myself… but damn, how better my life became after I stopped talking to him. I can’t even express the difference.
You are heartless. At least you had someone to give you gifts. I would love free stuff ❤ but you? Oh, but you feel “burdened” right? Ungrateful and selfish. Why must you be this way?
You are heartless. At least you had someone to give you gifts. I would love free stuff ❤ but you? Oh, but you feel “burdened” right? You are UngratefuI and seIfish. Why must you be this way?
You are heartless. At least you had someone to give you gifts. I would love free stuff ❤ but you? Oh, but you feel “burdened” right? Why must you be this way? It’s true, you are a bad person. And don’t you forget that…
You are heartless. At least you had someone to give you gifts. I would love free stuff ❤ but you? Oh, but you feel “burdened” Why must you be this way?
One last thing: people are so ungrateful. You take things for granted. Ask yourself why you didn’t want the gifts, and why not talking to him made your life better. How did it get better? By not accepting gifts? That makes no sense. That’s like saying my life got better cuz I stopped putting on my Nike shoes, or my life got better cuz I stopped eating vanilla ice cream… such a petty thing makes you proud for some reason. Why? It’s not like he was abusing you, yet you make it seem like he was…
Only illiterate person will run away from such loving people
I think the point of the video is an over giving person is not giving from the heart. They have ulterior motives for their giving which is unfair to place on someone who didn’t ask for anything from you.
Giving and receiving has to be balanced between people
Don't give nothing ever, noted.
Yes. This right here. Even when I’m a relationship, I will never give gifts to anyone ever again. I learned my lesson
Then live alone thats all no women want a loser
It actually explains a lot about people’s perception
It makes no sense to me
Why are they always asking
If you don't want me to over give then stop over asking.
You ask I give
Now I'm the problem
Wow
Wow! Thank you for this information, its really made me think alot about why I give so much. In certain relationships I have too high of expectations, expecting them to reciprocate in the way I think they should reciprocate. When they don't, I can become passive-aggressive and mad (which is against what my heart really wants) because I feel unloved and uncared for. I know that I have a tendency to do this so I have worked hard to change my thinking and my heart so I don't expect others to do what I would do.
Somehow I also think that I will be loved more if I give, give, give and I feel quite sad after I give/sacrifice, and there is nothing from that person, or very little. So your video is what I have needed.
Thank you!
🫂
This is something I never understood but you explained it perfectly and it makes perfect sense to me now.
Thank you very much. I'll be better now.
This makes me remember the story I read when I was a child. There's a collage student in a boarding school that have ecconomically poor friend beside her room. Sometimes she give her friend foods and things that the school needs. But she also ask something to her such as salt, borrowing pencil, and any other small things. Because she doesnt want the other person to feel burdened She gave the other person the ability to help too.
Perhaps its the context .....of feeling unappreciated
When one person is over doing bcuz their partner is under doing then resentment and exhaustion arise.
Its not over giving but over DOING,
If your person EXPECTS or demands that you do their chores, errands, etc then YOU are being taken advantage of. They are using and abusing you to their gain.
Let them clean up their own mess, clean their own house, cook their own meals, do their own shopping.
Stop cow towing to them. People will continue to take and walk on you if you let them . 🤚🏼
Give as if in a conversation. Listen. Respond. Repeat.
Underrated comment
It's hard to accept. I may have manipulated people I love by giving.
.I am a shamed to admit. It makes perfect sense now. she left and I am now alone. She said I was suffocating and intense. She needs space. I get it now. Thank you for opening my mind.
That’s so true. Many thanks for sharing.
Couldn’t agree more. I’m divorced
Honestly, i know that I will always 'give' for the person i love and care, sometimes got over-given, because i know that i didn't do this to anyone. Right? In the other hand, i also know that there might be times when we, are the one who going to be given. Give and be given, it's a cycle, bro. That's why for people who are always given, by others, be grateful, bro, and have an understanding to pay them back, it's okay if it is not the same value. A prayer is also a good thing to do, you can keep a good prayer for them, bro, everyday, pray a good prayer for them every single day, prayer is powerful, believe it
Fantastic deep analysis. Subbed. Thanks for making these videos man
i think this perfectly summarizes the dynamic between a lot of relationships in relation to the women always doing the cleaning and the men just sitting on the couch. Like can you just stop please
If they didn’t ask for help, are you really helping?
They shouldn't have to "ask for help" if you live together, it's your responsibility too.
@@adrianaloborec2205I think the point they were trying to make is that there needs to be a conversation about what “clean” means and what the expectations should be. So many people live lives of quiet desperation because they won’t talk about what they are looking for specifically.
@@adrianaloborec2205 i let you believe that. Constantly approoving somebody's OCD and calling it help is not gonna do much
@@gte717vthen don’t enter relationships smh
So true, my ex bombed me with gifts and expected me to please him emotionally in return, this was so uncomfortable, no wonder our relationship didn't last for long.
Wow, you found me and gave me exactly what I needed to hear. This is exactly what I just did in my last relationship. (And several before...)
Perfectly timed and so helpful! Thank you so much!
I'm glad my words resonated with you and came at the right time ！
This was me to the T in my last relationship. I didnt realize this was the problem until after the breakup. He said the whole relationship was stressful. I see why. Thanks for making this video so it ckicks.
It's not always easy to recognize these patterns while we're in the midst of a relationship. I'm glad the video helped bring some clarity and understanding for you.
If you have any more questions or need further insights, feel free to reach out. Don't forget to like and subscribe for more content that can support you on your journey. 😊
I really appreciate that. I watched more of your videos, and I have no doubt in my mind that this channel will blow up big ❤
@@Janet_Quillen_DE07 Your encouragement means a lot to me🌻
Brilliant information at a time I perhaps needed it the most. Many thanks. Helps align my life perfectly. Much appreciated 🙏🏻
I'm so glad to hear that !!! Your kind words mean a lot. Thank you for watching!
Don't forget to like and subscribe for more content. Your support is much appreciated! 😊
Just so true..... Thank you so much for this video.
You're lucky...I overdid this and made everything worse, ruined the relationship. Don't do this... Less, almost nothing is better. I felt this but couldn't stop it, at a good time...
The other will take you for granted if you overgive.
Not all people is that way. I give a lot, and I never say I did this for you. Of course I expect reciprocation, but I know everyone is different and may not reciprocate the same way. As long as I feel loved, I will keep giving, but I dont shut up about my own needs, I have my standards.
Thank you for helping me understand this!
Is it? I know you give without expecting anything in return. Best form of giving and it's a personal choice.
I needed that .. thank you ,
If the other person has no need for it I won't bother and it won't affect me. However, when you give it is right for it to appreciated, what is life without appreciation? The Lord gave us life and we appreciate him every day for it. And he does more.
Experienced every bit of it, learnt it on my own tho. And fixed a lot of those issues but I had to go through hell to understand that.
Woww! Spot on.
Thanks for knowledge 🤜
I am learning a lot about this manipulative world.
Your partner is upset you don’t have something for you both to do this weekend. You ask what would you like to do. They’re then disappointed that you’re not surprising them with a plan. You create, ask, pay for a plan which they then judge. You want to connect, you’re willing to give. They contribute nothing. Occasionally they spontaneously surprise you. You roll with it. You don’t show up late. You have no choice. You don’t judge or complain. What would be the point. Its really all about their needs. You need your efforts appreciated by reciprocation or you stop making them. Then the only relationship you have is no relationship.
Very thoughtful video😊
Thank you! ❤ And this is exactly the eneagram number 2 personally! 🎉 😢
Sad state of affairs ... love you like crazy ..
If someone gave a lot I would reciprocate and match their effort. But people are unappreciative hence stupid.
The problem to overgive may lie in the deeper obvious effort-reward complex of extroverted and narcissistic brain functions.Certainly the narrator made the point that one does so in order to win relationship. When gratitude can be uneven bracing that moral dilemma is then a challenge for empathy and tolerance.
Excellent video
That make so much sense, a bit too late for me tho
But thanks for the wise advice ❤
This is almost exclusively a female recipient problem.
ouch - this is good... and me...
This makes sense, hoewever, I been in situations where I’m being played, nagged and made guilty that I wasn’t attentive enough or I should give more…..then when I give by obliging them then they wanna withdrawal. I’m too selfish to “give” for people to like me😂 I “give” because there was a NEED.
Same man
Oh wow i learned something today
I'm thrilled to hear that!
Fair enough.
I watched it until end!
Thank you so much for watching until the end! Your support means a lot.😊
I think the main takeaway from this video is that giving must be done altruistically other than transactional relationship. I give you Super Thanks $ and hope you don't mind replying with a "Thanks!" or even a longer reply. 😂
Self-Esteem
You can make all the money in the world and she only likes you for money but you can’t control her. You just end up broke if it’s only about money
Hey man, you have a great insight in this video! It would be nice if you showed your face and used your real voice, and not just an AI generated one! I've watched a few videos on your channel, and I can see it has great potential! It's really important in today's world to show you're a real person who creates real content, based on real knowledge, and not just AI generated nonsense! Keep up the good work! 😊
Love
I highly appreciate the content, very timely and it nurtures our intrinsic elements, thought provoking and offers a lot of introspective self reflection.
Cheers brother. You're making an impact to the universe.
Thank you so much for your encouraging words! I'm thrilled to hear that you found the content thought-provoking and impactful. It's truly rewarding to know that the videos are resonating with you and helping with introspection.
👌🙏
I might be over-giving likes here, on youtube, 😂😂😂
I don't think it is about over-giving. D.Q.
God allows after repentance infront of him...not infront of idols
Not for me if he is not giver bye 👋
You are a narcist.
This is narcisim.
@@T.K.Wellington1996 call it what u want I take only a giver thats all
A lot of BS being thrown around here. Generosity is the essence of humanity and empathy. Too bad it is at odds with a culture of individualism. Individualism leads to narcissism Narcissists cannot deal with their own shame when they need help. It is not the fault of the giver who gives from their heart.
So true!
Why does your grammar so bad? ;)
Sorry for the less-than-perfect grammar in this video. The content was dictated and compiled from my notes, and with the rush of daily uploads, things can get a bit hectic. I appreciate your feedback and will definitely pay more attention to it in the future. Thank you for understanding!🥲
Give something to somebody with pure intention to please Allah not to please anyone or you yourself.This is the true Give and take policy.
Very thoughtful video😊