This is crazy, describes exactly my issues with career! I would love to see a video about finding love and maintaining it. I find romantic relationships very draining.
I lost my mom in June. She was only 50. This resonates with me in a sense that she was very protective of me because I have cerebral palsy and hydrocephalus and I was kinda held back from a lot of experiences that I needed to experience because I am learning these things at a later age. A lot of he can't do that because what if this happens or what if he hits his head. She was an alcoholic.
Sorry to hear this, wondering if you can reach out to someone for counseling? Maybe at a school you attend? Your local community college? How can you build a plan to become more independent?
@@Dr.SofyaVass its kind of a thing I felt alone but seeing these videos makes me feel more connected of of course im not alone. also checking out AA meetings of people just going through things, coming from Las Vegas it just seemed like it just is.
The pervasive all encompassing sense of directionless rudderlessness created by a childhood defined by the absence of participating in that oh so vital natural process of initial intangible conception through to ultimate tangible fruition results in undermining an individuals capacity to form and maintain a positive relationship with self. And worst of all, that deficit in self-esteem, that stunted growth of self-worth may well go unrecognised and untreated throughout the duration of a person's life, for the road neither seen, nor heard, or felt results in a journey never taken, a destination never discovered.
My parents got me a job but quit cus I felt it didn't fit...my dad is an alcoholic but supportive as can be.my mom is always there but I'm confused and don't know what I want...I need help! How can I get help please How can I break that feeling 😕
Sorry to hear, please find a therapist that fits you. Contact your insurance and see who is in the network provider, or find a community center and locate a therapist there. Someone you can work with once or several times per week to help you consolidate and make a plan for your future. Wishing you healing.
Thank you for your video.I am confused.I am not sure if i am Quite BPD or ACOA//co-dependent.I was diagnosed with BPD in past but all criteria of ACOA // Codependent match greatly with me as well.What is the difference.Can be psych- tests which i did faulty?Its been awhile I educate, listen and read about ACOA//CO-D...even going on meetings.
Thanks for the comment - this is what I think about diagnosis - a diagnosis is good for the purpose of communicating with medical practitioners as a shorthand to translate the symptoms. At the end of the day - it does not really matter - what matters is - what are your symptoms? What are you struggling with in life? And working through those. If the BPD diagnosis makes you feel empowered - and you relate to it, good - dbt therapy would be good for you - and dbt therapy would also be good for acoas with co depends issues especially if you fell like you have problems with impulse control and volatility in relationships. If interested - sign up for one on one coaching with me. I love working with both, bpd and acoa symptoms :).
Wow I used to date a girl at work she came from an abusive household where her father would drink and yell at her because she reminded him of her mom that one day abandoned them for a life of crime and eventually ended up in prison. I remember her being super avoidant we’d go on dates where she could barely talk and the next day at work she’d treat me like a stranger and lash out at me the job wasn’t that hard but she’d always looked extremely drained looking back I think I was used she never apologized for treating me so bad the closest I got to maybe seeing her real self was hanging out with her cuddling kissing etc and I told her she was good at her job and people liked her and she was a good person and she just started sobbing uncontrollably and held my head and said no I’m not. Idk how to feel after that she accused me of beating her up when she shoved me drunk after treating me awful all day I just defended myself by pushing her hand away I’ve never been abused by anybody in my life it was like a defense mechanism I’ve never cared about somebody so mean looking back she was abusing me but because I have a secure attachment style I can see she was just hurting inside that doesn’t justify what she did but I can sympathize. I’ve moved on but I do think about her often and I wonder if she thinks about me.
@Sofya Vasilyeva - Psychology I think when I use it. I'm very studied on these recovery oriented topics. I'm also in the midst of creating my own recovery and career lifecoaching business. Your video on assertiveness and anger rings true. I'm good at working with individuals unfortunately working for companies with coworkers is my trigger. I've worked for 28 years in social services and last two years in substance usage recovery world. Really just venting...the wounded healer situation.
@@krisscanlon4051 glad you’re enjoying them. Let me know if you have questions, I can try to address them in my videos :). Wish I had time to make more, trying 😁
@@krisscanlon4051 I think that’s great. We can’t change our past, and we can use the talents that we received from our wounds to help others. Addiction counseling is great, and it really sounds like you’re on a good path
I have been going down the ACA youtube rabbit hole lately. I have also been contemplating getting a Therapist. I know a few Therapists that are in ACA that I do not get along with. I am debating weather or not I want a Therapist who is in ACA or even a Therapist who is an adult child of an alcoholic or dysfunctional parent or a Therapist who is not.
@@Dr.SofyaVass I still haven't found a Therapist but I haven't been looking either. I am very grateful for you and I think I am getting lots out of your videos.
This is crazy, describes exactly my issues with career! I would love to see a video about finding love and maintaining it. I find romantic relationships very draining.
Hi Nancy, I made a few videos on that subject since your comment a year ago, check them out, let me know what you think :)
Thanks for letting me feel understood, Sofya. You're a blessing 😊
I’m glad you enjoyed :)
So true what you say. Thanks a lot, it is very enlightening.
What a great topic!
Thank you :)
I lost my mom in June. She was only 50. This resonates with me in a sense that she was very protective of me because I have cerebral palsy and hydrocephalus and I was kinda held back from a lot of experiences that I needed to experience because I am learning these things at a later age. A lot of he can't do that because what if this happens or what if he hits his head. She was an alcoholic.
I am 23 , unemploeyed , living with mum. I dont know what to do..
Sorry to hear this, wondering if you can reach out to someone for counseling? Maybe at a school you attend? Your local community college? How can you build a plan to become more independent?
Thank you so much. How do I parent myself especially if I live with my parents?. I would like a video on that.
Thank you, will try to make a video on that soon
Very informative
i love these videos, thank you!
this makes me want to cry
I'm so glad! You're welcome :)
Sorry :(, wishing you healing
@@Dr.SofyaVass its kind of a thing I felt alone but seeing these videos makes me feel more connected of of course im not alone. also checking out AA meetings of people just going through things, coming from Las Vegas it just seemed like it just is.
Oh I relate.
I became burned out my medical career and proceeded to destroy all I owned.
So sorry to hear that. I hope you can find a career that brings you joy and confidence
Thank you!
Thank you for watching
What I great topic!
thanks for the info
The pervasive all encompassing sense of directionless rudderlessness created by a childhood defined by the absence of participating in that oh so vital natural process of initial intangible conception through to ultimate tangible fruition results in undermining an individuals capacity to form and maintain a positive relationship with self.
And worst of all, that deficit in self-esteem, that stunted growth of self-worth may well go unrecognised and untreated throughout the duration of a person's life, for the road neither seen, nor heard, or felt results in a journey never taken, a destination never discovered.
Beautiful out and so well written 👏 unfortunately true negative how early life experiences can stunt growth :(
Deep down don’t we like exploring new places, people, life situations and ourselves? Stay in the bottom of a dry bottle or explore!
My parents got me a job but quit cus I felt it didn't fit...my dad is an alcoholic but supportive as can be.my mom is always there but I'm confused and don't know what I want...I need help!
How can I get help please
How can I break that feeling 😕
Sorry to hear, please find a therapist that fits you. Contact your insurance and see who is in the network provider, or find a community center and locate a therapist there. Someone you can work with once or several times per week to help you consolidate and make a plan for your future. Wishing you healing.
Thank you for your video.I am confused.I am not sure if i am Quite BPD or ACOA//co-dependent.I was diagnosed with BPD in past but all criteria of ACOA // Codependent match greatly with me as well.What is the difference.Can be psych- tests which i did faulty?Its been awhile I educate, listen and read about ACOA//CO-D...even going on meetings.
Thanks for the comment - this is what I think about diagnosis - a diagnosis is good for the purpose of communicating with medical practitioners as a shorthand to translate the symptoms. At the end of the day - it does not really matter - what matters is - what are your symptoms? What are you struggling with in life? And working through those. If the BPD diagnosis makes you feel empowered - and you relate to it, good - dbt therapy would be good for you - and dbt therapy would also be good for acoas with co depends issues especially if you fell like you have problems with impulse control and volatility in relationships. If interested - sign up for one on one coaching with me. I love working with both, bpd and acoa symptoms :).
Hello , can this be true for a child of an emotionaly abusive non alcoholic mother?
Absolutely! Really all dysfunctional families
Wow I used to date a girl at work she came from an abusive household where her father would drink and yell at her because she reminded him of her mom that one day abandoned them for a life of crime and eventually ended up in prison. I remember her being super avoidant we’d go on dates where she could barely talk and the next day at work she’d treat me like a stranger and lash out at me the job wasn’t that hard but she’d always looked extremely drained looking back I think I was used she never apologized for treating me so bad the closest I got to maybe seeing her real self was hanging out with her cuddling kissing etc and I told her she was good at her job and people liked her and she was a good person and she just started sobbing uncontrollably and held my head and said no I’m not. Idk how to feel after that she accused me of beating her up when she shoved me drunk after treating me awful all day I just defended myself by pushing her hand away I’ve never been abused by anybody in my life it was like a defense mechanism I’ve never cared about somebody so mean looking back she was abusing me but because I have a secure attachment style I can see she was just hurting inside that doesn’t justify what she did but I can sympathize. I’ve moved on but I do think about her often and I wonder if she thinks about me.
Thank you for sharing, you sound like a kind person, and yeas, seems like this woman was hurting. Hope you both found some healing
Struggling so hard with this trait. 10 years of AA/ACA recovery. Ego,control,rigidty,and fear.
Sorry to hear, hope you find some healing 🙏🏼 has the aa and aca helped?
@Sofya Vasilyeva - Psychology I think when I use it. I'm very studied on these recovery oriented topics. I'm also in the midst of creating my own recovery and career lifecoaching business. Your video on assertiveness and anger rings true. I'm good at working with individuals unfortunately working for companies with coworkers is my trigger. I've worked for 28 years in social services and last two years in substance usage recovery world. Really just venting...the wounded healer situation.
@Sofya Vasilyeva - Psychology thank you for your videos...good work...ACA is a very passionate topic for me.
@@krisscanlon4051 glad you’re enjoying them. Let me know if you have questions, I can try to address them in my videos :). Wish I had time to make more, trying 😁
@@krisscanlon4051 I think that’s great. We can’t change our past, and we can use the talents that we received from our wounds to help others. Addiction counseling is great, and it really sounds like you’re on a good path
I have been going down the ACA youtube rabbit hole lately. I have also been contemplating getting a Therapist. I know a few Therapists that are in ACA that I do not get along with. I am debating weather or not I want a Therapist who is in ACA or even a Therapist who is an adult child of an alcoholic or dysfunctional parent or a Therapist who is not.
Sorry for late reply. Hope you found a therapist by now :)
@@Dr.SofyaVass I still haven't found a Therapist but I haven't been looking either. I am very grateful for you and I think I am getting lots out of your videos.
@@darinsmith2458 will post a video soon answering your question in more detail :)
@@Dr.SofyaVass well thank you.. i will look forward to it