I have noticed that its often times better to not announce the consequences. It creates a type of ultimatum feeling amd although a boundarie can some sort of ultimatum, it all comes down to them respecting our requests. -asked you not to call during work___just stop picking up the phone or block them momentairily. -someone calling you names____ tell them you do not accept namecalling and walk away when they do it again. -someone touching you inappropriate during a date____ let them know once and leave whenever they cross your boundarie a second time. Its not about announcing but acting.
@@traceylennon1204 I approached it from a different place the past few years and it has proven to me that it doesn't come from an empowered place. Often times when we announce consequences we do so because we hope that the other person will see the light and change their actions. That in itself is a subconcious form of manipulation and dependency. And even more so... it triggers the narcissism in others even more. Like... aah, you said you were gonna do XYZ if I do ABC?? Okay, challenge accepted. Anyway, just acting is the best approach from my experience.
I think the announcing part giving others the benefit of doubt, for those who genuinely didn’t know, or wasn’t raised with healthy ways of socialising. Sometimes they are overexcited or lost in their heads, but the key point is they are capable of accountability or change. But more often than not, we encounter those incapable of change. You can usually identify those because they get super defensive as soon as you lay your boundary down.
It's hard to block someone you're married to & you're responsible for the house payments. U can't leave & they won't leave. They play the victim & want us to feel sorry for them.
After 47 years, I now understand I wasn't trying to work on my boundaries with the in-laws it was my husband who aquiest to his mother. Wow!!!!! I quit.
Such an important video! It may seem simple for some but I just couldn't do it and understand fully before therapy. Ppl keep telling me: "And I think it's ok", "You are too sensitive", "Why do you restrict my actions?!" (I asked not to touch some things in my flat🙈). I just didn't know what to do with ppl that didn't really care about my feelings, personal space, etc.
It's really horrible how some people act towards me..ok its their character. But it still hurts me. Then I think cool you don't have any boundaries. If I set one, they don't care. So I do something wrong. This is extremely hard for me. Maybe I set them wrong. It almost always backfires. They scream they don't listen. I love to isolate but then I get lonely and depressed. Aaahhhh. Thank you for your help!!❤ Much ❤ from Germany
Maybe it's not because you set boundaries wrongly, but that you set them at all which makes them scream and don't listen. There are people who will always cut away at your boundaries: they feel your boundaries threaten their feeling of being in control. Like people who feel in a position of power never give up that power willingly. Next time you isolate, use that opportunity to make some new friends. Friends with absolutely no connection to them.
Sounds good. Doesn't work. My ex narc Ignored everything & did what he dang pleased. They used to call it, Disneyland Dad. He ignored me and the kids for 10 yrs. After the divorce, they spent a weekend with him, every other weekend. When they got Home/with me, they were spazzy for a week. Then they calmed down & acted Normal, then it was time for them to go spend a weekend with him , & the cycle would happen all over again. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Our 14year old placed a notice on our bedroom door stating "respect our privacy and knock before entering" which we appreciate. However, she's the one who just walks into our room without knocking 😅. So now we keep referring her to her own notice, and she'll backtrack and knock:)
I enjoyed this video Boundaries is important for my overall well being an serenity. I think they are easier when dealing with Reasonable folks. For the ones who take my boundaries an make it their mission to stab them in my back, I focus on Living my life an cut off communication with them. Hard lesson to learn. I’m Grateful for your willingness to help!!
I noticed that the narcissistic people in my life would actively try to encourage defensive language and once I realised it I also knew it was a good way to identify toxic people because healthy people spoke calmly and objectively, but the narcissists would try to catch you off guard and use ambush style tactics to force you onto the losing streak. They would deliberately rush me because it made me more likely to become panicked and vulnerable and this would make it easy for them to get a win.
Very true rushed divorce after 34.5 yrs and I could barely figure out what was happening. The financial guy told me I was being divorced. Ex didn’t even have the decency to tell me himself. Then he told me to hurry hurry and pack up and sell our home of 31 yrs. I did it all and moved in 1 month. The shock is settling in just now 3 months later. I’m in early stages and still in shock, grieving and hurt. Rush rush rush.
@@godzillamanstreb524 I'm currently in the 'Welcome to my fist you twisted piece of shit' stage right now. I'm not violent but I'm practising zero tolerance to the type of manipulations and subtle put-downs that some toxic people who have been around since childhood and were in a position of trust. I knew from an early that two of the people (mother and best friend) had some particular traits that were detestable, and I was middle-aged when I discovered that they were elements of narcissism. But they along with some other close friends and relatives had used a lot of put-downs and petty shaming on me over the years that they disguised as fake concern, false assessments and so-called "misunderstandings" over things I'd explained many times in detail, and fault-finding. Because they were in a position of trust since I was young, I never suspected they had bad intensions because I couldn't understand what would motivate something like that. So I didn't think them wrong. Now on the other hand I think they're totally wrong, and I can see how the many years and thousands of manipulations have had a compound effect on my and my self worth, so I'm kind of punishing them for their past abuse by calling out their attempts at a put down, ignoring them, treating them like they're idiots (this helps me to reframe their behaviour and dissolve their effects but first training myself to lose respect for them so that their insults and manipulations no longer. carry any weight. I'm not subtle about this and when in the moment I can be quite savage. I went through the same stage with bullies for a couple of years after leaving school and I know that it'll pass in time and I'l l balance it out.
@@monicatowns5559 I'm sorry you've gone through that. Narcissistic partners have an uncanny ability to pull the plug on a relationship very suddenly and they literally pull the ejector seat before you've had a chance to ask "whhhh........" These are not normal people we're dealing with. They are liars, manipulators and cheats. They don't always know the place they're in, but they always know where the exit is. They begin the relationship knowing full well how it will end, and it's the exact same way they ended every relationship. They will like you and be attracted to you until they stop. When the love and attraction were fake to begin with then they can and they will pull the brake chord when they feel the time has come, which is typically when you no longer have any narcissistic supply left for them to extract, and/or when you are very close to figuring them out and exposing them for who they are. In the case of the latter they will always rather be the one ending the relationship because their self worth remains intact. FYI their self-worth is as fake as they are, and if it isn't ever realised in their relationships then maybe look at their professional lives and maybe even read the notes from their employee review meetings. When they dump you it's usually planned in advance, but kept hidden from you so that they can surprise you with it. The more in shock you are, the less likely you'll call them out. They just want to get out quickly and sidestep accountability. If you see them again, it's typically much later when you've forgotten or gotten over the bad stuff in the past. They will want to talk as friends as if nothing ever happened. It's unbelievably cowardly, but trying to see them in such a light where you lose respect or admiration for them is very hard to do. They understand the COST of everything, and the VALUE of NOTHING! How did you come to realise who your ex husband was??
Amen!!! Your videos have truly helped me navigate my thoughts and life, and I have learned information, that I didn't hear prior to hearing these videos. Thank you Mrs. Stefanie for using your wisdom and knowledge and experience to help others 🙏 😊
They oftentimes will respond with lashing out and berating you, hoping you’ll stoop to that level and do the same. Best to stay on higher ground and walk away from the mud throwing pit. But it can be really really hard to do that! Takes a lot of self control
This is an amazing video. I actually just cut out somebody from my life because they can’t help themselves in terms of telling me what I need to do. It would be fine if they were giving me suggestions and when I said no thank you I know what’s best for me. They would leave it but they push and push and push and push and push and push and push and to be honest I’m just fucking sick of it. I brought this up to them before several times, and it doesn’t change. This person is not at the place where they know how to do any better so that’s it for me
@@kaynock1585 yeah, parents is very difficult. My mom has zero boundaries. Like none. And so I never learned them growing up. And now I have to literally physically remove myself from the space when she doesn’t stop doing something. Or I put down the phone and I tell her clearly that I’m not willing to talk about that or whatever. But she is the only mother I have and she’s old so I just don’t tell her about most things and I keep her in my life she’s old and at this point is pretty hard to change but I can change my behavior. This run I’ve had for years and she never used to do this before but in the last year we’ve had so many times but has where she thinks she can tell me what to do and it’s not just that she suggest things it’s that she will not take no for an answer she has to push me and push me and push me and push me to the point where I get so angry. I tell her clearly what she’s doing was wrong and she can’t see her role ever. She tries to make it seem like we should both share blame because I do that too. And we’ve never ever had that discussion about me doing it and she’s never said anything. So the fact that she’s deflecting and never accepting responsibility is what has just finally sent me over the edge. I’m 100% fine walking away from this friendship if she just can’t stop herself. We’re not at the same place obviously and I will not tolerate anybody do this the only people who have done that to me are my mother and my ex partner and I will not tolerate that in my life. sorry you’re going through something similar. I know how it feels. It sucks.
I have an acquaintance who always happens to “forget” her wallet when we go out to eat. I’m not her sugar mama. I’d be happy to treat her if she says she doesn’t have enough money, but she manipulates me with “oops!, I don’t have $”. It’s so rude. I stopped hanging out with her. She just asked me to coffee or brunch. How do I say in a nice way “only if you don’t financially manipulate me bc I make more $ than you.”?
I like how clear you come across . Or how you explain things rather . You have that gift of speaking . Having people relate to what you’re saying . I however , don’t 😂
In my experience with an ex that was very narcissistic and wouldn't respect my boundaries, nothing got resolved. He used my boundaries to his advantage to avoid discussing important topics. He'd cross the boundary by name calling or bringing up things from the past or totally unrelated, or talk in circles and refuse to stay on topic to the point things would escalate or I'd have to walk away. Even then he'd follow me and continue to badger me, or he'd give me the silent treatment for days. Then tell me I'm ignoring him. There was never a good time to bring anything up again or the same thing would happen over and over. It was if he just wanted to fight. Like that's how he got the "passion" he always talked about wanting more of. I learned that passion meant chaos and drama for him.
I think this is a great video as I am dealing with both my mother and husband who are narcissists. They really frustrate the hell out of me. They will never admit or understand how they are. So now I have to learn how to deal with them and set my boundaries so I don’t work myself up. Thank you for the helping video. All the videos I’ve seen had made me aware of what a narcissist really is and to know it’s not me. So many years of questioning myself.
Hi Stephanie. Awesome job on this video. All your videos have been so inspiring and comforting to watch. I’m going through a divorce and it’s a very complicated process because of my wife’s CPTSD. She had to leave me because our marriage itself was to triggering to her as a reminder of the Relationship trauma she survived before me. It’s so hard because it’s neither of our faults
I told my brother that there are certain people i dont want to talk to in the family but he forces me to talk to them. I thought as a brother he would protect me. Its getting to the point where i want to get the cops involved because the family members are dangerous people and im scared.
What if you do say that and they still continue to block you in a room and argue with you to the point other things happen. I’ve done this several times and it’s not abided by.
I am just trying to think how to keep my calm because I have to see a person who runs after me every time and is trying to force me to be fish😅..or something😡
One of the main things not mentioned here: before taking all the action, communicate the boundaries clearly and make sure they are understood + (IMPORTANT) make clear which specific action(s) did not fit those set boundaries. Only then can you reasonably expect respect and avoid reactions that result from uncertainty. Last, but not least, you have to also follow your own rules.
Recently I stopped visiting old friends when invited, as one of them has taken to attempting start arguments: during a Sci-Fi RPG he became enraged about the in game existence of faster than light travel, insisting that having to do lots of poetry at school somehow magically makes you good at writing essays, or erroneously insisting hikite is for power generation not pulling the opponent's arm down to more easily punch or throw them. It's happened every time the last few visits. My being calm and reasonable seems to make him worse. He isn't a stupid person, he must know he's being deliberately rude. It appears my being invited is so he can argue with me. It's bizarre. Any attempt of mine to explain which actions of his are unresaonable will just be used as an excuse for him to argue more. Anyway I declined the last invitation to visit and I've no intention of visiting them again.
This is a good time I'm sick every time I'm sick right today tomorrow I'm not coming outside because you lost your time knock on my side August CDP Dominica Messi people come to school do you not do something for me let's go go somewhere spend time somewhere why do we stand with people this time does that's a good time this time
Omg.. my boyfriend calls/text while at work … I have asked and he just does not get it!!! Its been 1 year and he still calks/text!!! He says, “I’m controlling “.
Great video, lots of good points made. I especially liked the part @ about 19:31 where Coach says, "when you give yourself what it is that you need, you won't desperately need it from someone else," that is absolute sage advice right there 📠 💯 I do also just wanna point out that what she says in the beginning (@ 1:47) about having to leave jobs that aren't working for you anymore, that it kinda confirms to me what Orion Taraban says about how women treat [men in] relationships like men treat jobs... but honestly, it could be a two way street💁🏿♂️-the way either gender goes about it is always different, though imo.
Stay in the house standing outside more question you need to go somewhere to go somewhere okay and that you say you're not doing that take me to do something for myself something else if you're not doing nothing
My sister is a different country different wait until I see my sister 1060 weather yes Brad is here brother or smokey 1211 that's why your sister is defensive for different that's not my sister my sister is very left
I know that person is up I'm looking for you and I'll look at that person how come you said because you are not looking nobody you know think person is coming outside he's come for you not come another person I'm not talk for you if done because 933 I'm coming for you are not coming somebody else you know Gun Barrel choice you want to see
What appointments are not stopping my sister go to the east of Massachusetts Dusty Dusty you go to the heart to hurt me because it is not going my sister open for yourself in me and I can't stop my sister open yourself that's always talk to my sister do not continue after you show yourself at the dog the time people sleeping show yourself Michelle said 5th time everybody is sleeping now you wake up how to show yourself see another person is can you not show yourself embarrassing yourself because another person you'll be mad you you show yourself Apple music who's who's in Chicago another person in the park now you you would you scared you can do that
1848 boys black to do choose something to to do conversation somewhere else because you not make it right okay okay you me out because economic everything go right
She creates a fortress around herself and no man, once he gets to know her, will stay. She would be a nightmare as a girlfriend! She will be single forever she will become old, crusty and elderly, and she will die, lonely, cat lady.
Because you close your eyes your feet is okay man no need your question if that is okay no nobody's question just watch me I'm working myself dancing let's confuse yourself because you say somebody else you found follow with that you can buy make it right after OK Google😊
Let’s pray for whoever needs this. Thank you for these insights.
I have noticed that its often times better to not announce the consequences. It creates a type of ultimatum feeling amd although a boundarie can some sort of ultimatum, it all comes down to them respecting our requests.
-asked you not to call during work___just stop picking up the phone or block them momentairily.
-someone calling you names____ tell them you do not accept namecalling and walk away when they do it again.
-someone touching you inappropriate during a date____ let them know once and leave whenever they cross your boundarie a second time.
Its not about announcing but acting.
@zion367 EXACTLY no need to announce a damn thing just act..that's always been my motto!
@@traceylennon1204 I approached it from a different place the past few years and it has proven to me that it doesn't come from an empowered place. Often times when we announce consequences we do so because we hope that the other person will see the light and change their actions. That in itself is a subconcious form of manipulation and dependency.
And even more so... it triggers the narcissism in others even more. Like... aah, you said you were gonna do XYZ if I do ABC?? Okay, challenge accepted.
Anyway, just acting is the best approach from my experience.
I think the announcing part giving others the benefit of doubt, for those who genuinely didn’t know, or wasn’t raised with healthy ways of socialising. Sometimes they are overexcited or lost in their heads, but the key point is they are capable of accountability or change. But more often than not, we encounter those incapable of change. You can usually identify those because they get super defensive as soon as you lay your boundary down.
It's hard to block someone you're married to & you're responsible for the house payments. U can't leave & they won't leave. They play the victim & want us to feel sorry for them.
Not alone
Oh, they still get blocked.
Have to deal with the repercussions later, obviously.
Unbelievable timing for me as always
“If I’m trying to get water from a rock, then I’m always going to be disappointed.” 💣
After 47 years, I now understand I wasn't trying to work on my boundaries with the in-laws it was my husband who aquiest to his mother. Wow!!!!! I quit.
You're the best, thanks for sharing your advice.
Such an important video! It may seem simple for some but I just couldn't do it and understand fully before therapy. Ppl keep telling me: "And I think it's ok", "You are too sensitive", "Why do you restrict my actions?!" (I asked not to touch some things in my flat🙈). I just didn't know what to do with ppl that didn't really care about my feelings, personal space, etc.
Hi Sasha, how's your day going with you?
Not easy when your immediate family is lead by a malignant narcissist. No contact is really the only option
Most definitely…..there is nothing good for you there….. I hope you find and nurture healthy relationships…..protect your mental health!!
It's really horrible how some people act towards me..ok its their character. But it still hurts me. Then I think cool you don't have any boundaries. If I set one, they don't care. So I do something wrong. This is extremely hard for me. Maybe I set them wrong. It almost always backfires. They scream they don't listen. I love to isolate but then I get lonely and depressed. Aaahhhh. Thank you for your help!!❤ Much ❤ from Germany
Maybe it's not because you set boundaries wrongly, but that you set them at all which makes them scream and don't listen. There are people who will always cut away at your boundaries: they feel your boundaries threaten their feeling of being in control. Like people who feel in a position of power never give up that power willingly. Next time you isolate, use that opportunity to make some new friends. Friends with absolutely no connection to them.
@@stephena1196 rightfully said! Thank you :)
@@animalliberationCLBB Gern geschehen.
It's a one sided conversation if you can't get a word in. Ok, have fun talking to yourself then, I'm out.✌
They’re not talking with you, they’re talking at you.
Love this! As moms we tend to lack boundaries and need them/ be firm with them. Using this to co parent as well.
Sounds good. Doesn't work.
My ex narc Ignored everything & did what he dang pleased. They used to call it, Disneyland Dad. He ignored me and the kids for 10 yrs. After the divorce, they spent a weekend with him, every other weekend. When they got Home/with me, they were spazzy for a week. Then they calmed down & acted Normal, then it was time for them to go spend a weekend with him , & the cycle would happen all over again. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Changed people, changes people.
I like the way you explain❤
Our 14year old placed a notice on our bedroom door stating "respect our privacy and knock before entering" which we appreciate. However, she's the one who just walks into our room without knocking 😅. So now we keep referring her to her own notice, and she'll backtrack and knock:)
Thank you ❤💯
I enjoyed this video
Boundaries is important for my overall well being an serenity.
I think they are easier when dealing with Reasonable folks.
For the ones who take my boundaries an make it their mission to stab them in my back, I focus on Living my life an cut off communication with them.
Hard lesson to learn.
I’m Grateful for your willingness to help!!
I noticed that the narcissistic people in my life would actively try to encourage defensive language and once I realised it I also knew it was a good way to identify toxic people because healthy people spoke calmly and objectively, but the narcissists would try to catch you off guard and use ambush style tactics to force you onto the losing streak. They would deliberately rush me because it made me more likely to become panicked and vulnerable and this would make it easy for them to get a win.
Very true…..narc sister always tries to set me up or bait me….. I see right thru her & love to completely ignore her attempts
Very true rushed divorce after 34.5 yrs and I could barely figure out what was happening. The financial guy told me I was being divorced. Ex didn’t even have the decency to tell me himself. Then he told me to hurry hurry and pack up and sell our home of 31 yrs. I did it all and moved in 1 month. The shock is settling in just now 3 months later. I’m in early stages and still in shock, grieving and hurt. Rush rush rush.
@@godzillamanstreb524 I'm currently in the 'Welcome to my fist you twisted piece of shit' stage right now. I'm not violent but I'm practising zero tolerance to the type of manipulations and subtle put-downs that some toxic people who have been around since childhood and were in a position of trust. I knew from an early that two of the people (mother and best friend) had some particular traits that were detestable, and I was middle-aged when I discovered that they were elements of narcissism. But they along with some other close friends and relatives had used a lot of put-downs and petty shaming on me over the years that they disguised as fake concern, false assessments and so-called "misunderstandings" over things I'd explained many times in detail, and fault-finding. Because they were in a position of trust since I was young, I never suspected they had bad intensions because I couldn't understand what would motivate something like that. So I didn't think them wrong.
Now on the other hand I think they're totally wrong, and I can see how the many years and thousands of manipulations have had a compound effect on my and my self worth, so I'm kind of punishing them for their past abuse by calling out their attempts at a put down, ignoring them, treating them like they're idiots (this helps me to reframe their behaviour and dissolve their effects but first training myself to lose respect for them so that their insults and manipulations no longer. carry any weight. I'm not subtle about this and when in the moment I can be quite savage. I went through the same stage with bullies for a couple of years after leaving school and I know that it'll pass in time and I'l l balance it out.
@@monicatowns5559 I'm sorry you've gone through that. Narcissistic partners have an uncanny ability to pull the plug on a relationship very suddenly and they literally pull the ejector seat before you've had a chance to ask "whhhh........"
These are not normal people we're dealing with. They are liars, manipulators and cheats. They don't always know the place they're in, but they always know where the exit is. They begin the relationship knowing full well how it will end, and it's the exact same way they ended every relationship. They will like you and be attracted to you until they stop. When the love and attraction were fake to begin with then they can and they will pull the brake chord when they feel the time has come, which is typically when you no longer have any narcissistic supply left for them to extract, and/or when you are very close to figuring them out and exposing them for who they are. In the case of the latter they will always rather be the one ending the relationship because their self worth remains intact. FYI their self-worth is as fake as they are, and if it isn't ever realised in their relationships then maybe look at their professional lives and maybe even read the notes from their employee review meetings. When they dump you it's usually planned in advance, but kept hidden from you so that they can surprise you with it. The more in shock you are, the less likely you'll call them out. They just want to get out quickly and sidestep accountability. If you see them again, it's typically much later when you've forgotten or gotten over the bad stuff in the past. They will want to talk as friends as if nothing ever happened. It's unbelievably cowardly, but trying to see them in such a light where you lose respect or admiration for them is very hard to do.
They understand the COST of everything, and the VALUE of NOTHING!
How did you come to realise who your ex husband was??
Perfect timing ❤ ty Stephanie ❤
Thank you for the regular wisdom.
Regular wisdom? What does that even mean. Seems like a sarcastic unnecessary comment
Amen!!! Your videos have truly helped me navigate my thoughts and life, and I have learned information, that I didn't hear prior to hearing these videos. Thank you Mrs. Stefanie for using your wisdom and knowledge and experience to help others 🙏 😊
They oftentimes will respond with lashing out and berating you, hoping you’ll stoop to that level and do the same. Best to stay on higher ground and walk away from the mud throwing pit. But it can be really really hard to do that! Takes a lot of self control
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Steph-a-Mom!!!!
Right on!
Right in time!!!!
“Ask (I did) & it is provided
YOU have!
For how you take care of
us
Thank you!
❤👏🏻✌🏻
This is an amazing video. I actually just cut out somebody from my life because they can’t help themselves in terms of telling me what I need to do. It would be fine if they were giving me suggestions and when I said no thank you I know what’s best for me. They would leave it but they push and push and push and push and push and push and push and to be honest I’m just fucking sick of it. I brought this up to them before several times, and it doesn’t change. This person is not at the place where they know how to do any better so that’s it for me
Good for you for being strong and able to communicate. I’m going through something similar with my narc parents. It’s sooooo hard 🥲
@@kaynock1585 yeah, parents is very difficult. My mom has zero boundaries. Like none. And so I never learned them growing up. And now I have to literally physically remove myself from the space when she doesn’t stop doing something. Or I put down the phone and I tell her clearly that I’m not willing to talk about that or whatever. But she is the only mother I have and she’s old so I just don’t tell her about most things and I keep her in my life she’s old and at this point is pretty hard to change but I can change my behavior. This run I’ve had for years and she never used to do this before but in the last year we’ve had so many times but has where she thinks she can tell me what to do and it’s not just that she suggest things it’s that she will not take no for an answer she has to push me and push me and push me and push me to the point where I get so angry. I tell her clearly what she’s doing was wrong and she can’t see her role ever. She tries to make it seem like we should both share blame because I do that too. And we’ve never ever had that discussion about me doing it and she’s never said anything. So the fact that she’s deflecting and never accepting responsibility is what has just finally sent me over the edge. I’m 100% fine walking away from this friendship if she just can’t stop herself. We’re not at the same place obviously and I will not tolerate anybody do this the only people who have done that to me are my mother and my ex partner and I will not tolerate that in my life. sorry you’re going through something similar. I know how it feels. It sucks.
Thanks, Stephanie.
I have an acquaintance who always happens to “forget” her wallet when we go out to eat. I’m not her sugar mama. I’d be happy to treat her if she says she doesn’t have enough money, but she manipulates me with “oops!, I don’t have $”. It’s so rude. I stopped hanging out with her. She just asked me to coffee or brunch. How do I say in a nice way “only if you don’t financially manipulate me bc I make more $ than you.”?
I like how clear you come across . Or how you explain things rather . You have that gift of speaking . Having people relate to what you’re saying . I however , don’t 😂
I’d probably be stumbling across my words on a date with this beautiful woman as she analyzes me .
Thank you for this advice, but why is it still so hard to move on from all the emotional and financial abuse?
Thanks for your information Stephanie, and have a Nice Day 😉👍
Thank you for this. It's very helpful.
Thank you, Steph for this video! Very helpful.
In my experience with an ex that was very narcissistic and wouldn't respect my boundaries, nothing got resolved.
He used my boundaries to his advantage to avoid discussing important topics. He'd cross the boundary by name calling or bringing up things from the past or totally unrelated, or talk in circles and refuse to stay on topic to the point things would escalate or I'd have to walk away. Even then he'd follow me and continue to badger me, or he'd give me the silent treatment for days. Then tell me I'm ignoring him.
There was never a good time to bring anything up again or the same thing would happen over and over. It was if he just wanted to fight. Like that's how he got the "passion" he always talked about wanting more of. I learned that passion meant chaos and drama for him.
Thank you Stephanie💕yes I have learned to be careful and keep my calm and detach and in control🙏
I think this is a great video as I am dealing with both my mother and husband who are narcissists. They really frustrate the hell out of me. They will never admit or understand how they are. So now I have to learn how to deal with them and set my boundaries so I don’t work myself up. Thank you for the helping video. All the videos I’ve seen had made me aware of what a narcissist really is and to know it’s not me. So many years of questioning myself.
Hi Stephanie. Awesome job on this video. All your videos have been so inspiring and comforting to watch. I’m going through a divorce and it’s a very complicated process because of my wife’s CPTSD. She had to leave me because our marriage itself was to triggering to her as a reminder of the Relationship trauma she survived before me. It’s so hard because it’s neither of our faults
Great practical advice and what to do in different situations!
Thank you,so important. 🤍
My ex was a covet narc !!! She kept cheating and cheating ... 2 days in no contact !!
Stay strong!
I taught my kids to
Knock when a door is closed.
Thank you ❤it’s ❤wonderful couching ♥️Opens our minds♥️
It's quite the mystery on identifying non verbal boundary violations in terms of behavior
I think as a general rule if it is bad manners, then it is a violation of boundaries.
Hey hey pretty lady!!!! Thank-you for the wonderful message!!!! xoxooxox Love it!!!!
I need this😢❤️🙏
Hi Susan, how's your day going with you?
Timing like always
I told my brother that there are certain people i dont want to talk to in the family but he forces me to talk to them. I thought as a brother he would protect me. Its getting to the point where i want to get the cops involved because the family members are dangerous people and im scared.
You don’t tell a narcissist that you’re getting overwhelmed! You leave the room it the house
What if you do say that and they still continue to block you in a room and argue with you to the point other things happen. I’ve done this several times and it’s not abided by.
I am just trying to think how to keep my calm because I have to see a person who runs after me every time and is trying to force me to be fish😅..or something😡
One of the main things not mentioned here: before taking all the action, communicate the boundaries clearly and make sure they are understood + (IMPORTANT) make clear which specific action(s) did not fit those set boundaries. Only then can you reasonably expect respect and avoid reactions that result from uncertainty. Last, but not least, you have to also follow your own rules.
Recently I stopped visiting old friends when invited, as one of them has taken to attempting start arguments: during a Sci-Fi RPG he became enraged about the in game existence of faster than light travel, insisting that having to do lots of poetry at school somehow magically makes you good at writing essays, or erroneously insisting hikite is for power generation not pulling the opponent's arm down to more easily punch or throw them. It's happened every time the last few visits. My being calm and reasonable seems to make him worse. He isn't a stupid person, he must know he's being deliberately rude. It appears my being invited is so he can argue with me. It's bizarre. Any attempt of mine to explain which actions of his are unresaonable will just be used as an excuse for him to argue more. Anyway I declined the last invitation to visit and I've no intention of visiting them again.
Do do great because I know she can make it I don't understand communicate what definition communicate
That's just work one more time again just working one more time please I need you to work one more time something I'm sickness
This is a good time I'm sick every time I'm sick right today tomorrow I'm not coming outside because you lost your time knock on my side August CDP Dominica Messi people come to school do you not do something for me let's go go somewhere spend time somewhere why do we stand with people this time does that's a good time this time
If I say no or stand up for myself ,I can't see my grandchildren 😢
hlw mam no boundaries lack camnicution
Omg.. my boyfriend calls/text while at work … I have asked and he just does not get it!!! Its been 1 year and he still calks/text!!! He says, “I’m controlling “.
You are a normal person. And he probably is a jerk, and don't even know about it. Jerk hates normal people, they just can't handle them.
My dear… turn your phone off while you’re at work! That’s what adults do. Then enjoy the calls or texts he sends, after you leave work 😅
Proverbs 21:14
A gift in secret pacifieth anger: and a reward in the bosom strong wrath.
😂😅🤣😂😅🤣😂😅🤣😂😅🤣😂😅😂🤣😅😂🤣😅😂🤣😅🤣 Awesome, I needed to hear this. Thank you 🙏
Great video, lots of good points made.
I especially liked the part @ about 19:31 where Coach says, "when you give yourself what it is that you need, you won't desperately need it from someone else," that is absolute sage advice right there 📠 💯
I do also just wanna point out that what she says in the beginning (@ 1:47) about having to leave jobs that aren't working for you anymore, that it kinda confirms to me what Orion Taraban says about how women treat [men in] relationships like men treat jobs... but honestly, it could be a two way street💁🏿♂️-the way either gender goes about it is always different, though imo.
Stay in the house standing outside more question you need to go somewhere to go somewhere okay and that you say you're not doing that take me to do something for myself something else if you're not doing nothing
Can I have a 1on 1 with u
What you said you can send people I bring paper today what's Bad Bunny it's too old wine in a green pepper today Hotspur it's too early
I tried to teach her how to be with me - didn’t listen
My sister is a different country different wait until I see my sister 1060 weather yes Brad is here brother or smokey 1211 that's why your sister is defensive for different that's not my sister my sister is very left
I know that person is up I'm looking for you and I'll look at that person how come you said because you are not looking nobody you know think person is coming outside he's come for you not come another person I'm not talk for you if done because 933 I'm coming for you are not coming somebody else you know Gun Barrel choice you want to see
I'm Not a guy.
🤍
What appointments are not stopping my sister go to the east of Massachusetts Dusty Dusty you go to the heart to hurt me because it is not going my sister open for yourself in me and I can't stop my sister open yourself that's always talk to my sister do not continue after you show yourself at the dog the time people sleeping show yourself Michelle said 5th time everybody is sleeping now you wake up how to show yourself see another person is can you not show yourself embarrassing yourself because another person you'll be mad you you show yourself Apple music who's who's in Chicago another person in the park now you you would you scared you can do that
1848 boys black to do choose something to to do conversation somewhere else because you not make it right okay okay you me out because economic everything go right
Notice I think you can make you slow seriously UConn you can make nothing not easy I think you can make
She creates a fortress around herself and no man, once he gets to know her, will stay. She would be a nightmare as a girlfriend! She will be single forever she will become old, crusty and elderly, and she will die, lonely, cat lady.
Or he.... statistics prove most narc are men hahha
Ladies, single women keep women single. Keep going to this one for advice and you will never have a loving relationship.
I need help with healthy boundaries between myself and strangers who name call and abuse me when they walk past me on a regular basis
Because you close your eyes your feet is okay man no need your question if that is okay no nobody's question just watch me I'm working myself dancing let's confuse yourself because you say somebody else you found follow with that you can buy make it right after OK Google😊