Living with Anxiety: Embracing What Is and Letting Go of Control | EP 057
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ส.ค. 2024
- In this podcast episode, DARE coaches Michelle Cavanaugh and Aida Beco discussed anxiety and how to deal with it effectively. They emphasized that anxiety is not a problem that needs to be fixed, but rather a normal human experience that can be handled with the right approach. They introduced the concept of "defusion," which involves stepping back from your thoughts and feelings and observing them without judgment. This allows you to accept anxiety as simply a part of your experience, without getting caught up in the struggle to control it.
Aida and Michelle also talked about the importance of "internal exposure therapy," which involves exposing yourself to the thoughts and feelings that you fear in a safe and controlled environment. This can help you to learn that these thoughts and feelings are not actually dangerous and that you can tolerate them without experiencing any negative consequences.
Overall, this podcast episode offered a helpful and encouraging perspective on anxiety. By learning to accept anxiety and manage it effectively, you can live a happier and more fulfilling life.
We hope you find this podcast episode helpful.
Learn more about DARE here: www.dareresponse.com
This is the real trick to DARE that I had a hard time with. I kept trying to DO things to fix it. Now, I’m realizing that this is the real key. Accepting is doing nothing and truly allowing it no matter what. I go spaghetti anytime I feel my shoulders tensing and slow down whatever I’m doing. I’m already seeing results but when I do feel anxious, it’s okay. It can stay there and even get worse. It’s not dangerous. Thanks so much for you help! You really do have the answer to all this!
It’s not dangerous to never be able to enjoy your life ever again?
@@SmithSmith-lb2ce but it can. People have been suffering for years and it’s impossible for them to be in a constant state of fight or flight for years.
But isn’t “going spaghetti” doing something? I would like to ask them that. For muscle tension from anxiety you DO need to Do something: relax the muscles. If you let muscle tension be there it stays tense
@@AJ88874going spaghetti is doing something. It’s sending the message back to the body that we are not tensing up in reaction. The tension was responding negatively relaxing is responding APPROPRIATELY.
@@jesse8737your comment is very all or nothing. With practice the brain can learn new habits and will learn to relax and enjoy life again.
I'm so glad that they're here to hammer home the same message in 100 different ways because I have a brick wall of old thinking and these two are blasting it apart and helping me realise
1. I can handle the outcomes
2. I can handle the sensations
This is one of the best talks I have ever heard on anxiety!!! I have been to many therapist's no help. I have been to classes on it .I have tried countless medications with a physiatrist's. I have tried my best to get rid of it.. The key is to allow and let it be. Your mind will try to constantly convince you that your not safe and we have to learn to ignore it totally.
Thoughts, feelings, sensations are safe… they’re a discomfort not a danger. That’s what I remind myself and then I keep doing what I value. This is a journey. May we all learn to just accept and turn our attention to what really matters. 🙏
I had anxiety on and off for 4 years. Like most it started with a panic attack,no idea what was happening. With troubles in life my anxiety and panic attacks flared up. I realised recently that I never calmed my nervous system I was just trying to control. I had some more troubles about 7 months ago and that panic attacks started again. It came on and I finally gave up. I laid on my bed and said "fine, do your worst I can't fight this anymore " after 4 long years I surrendered and I realized that this feeling will not kill me. Something shifted that day. I'm not afraid of my feelings anymore and they died off. The thoughts hung around little longer but I gave up controlling those too. We spend so much time trying to control something that isnt really controllable. I want to thank you guys for giving me the courage to just stop caring ❤
this was inspiring, thank you for sharing
Legit what I’m starting to do now. It’s funny because the moment you tell it to do it’s worst your mind just goes blank.
You guys are great. You e really helped me.
I’m glad I’m not going insane with these intrusive thoughts
Question: when I’m having intrusive anxious thoughts while I’m trying to go to bed, how do I do the last step of the dare response, engage with life? That’s a time it happens the most. Thank you in advance!
Thank you both sooo much ladies ❤
thank you for these sessions they are really helpful! I have one request, if possible please make a session on Fearlessness relating to anxiety and panic attacks
Really struggling with the BEING aspect every time I feel anxious (a lot lately every day with panic attacks!) and I try to diffuse but the fear takes over and the intense of the symptoms and negative thinking like I’m gonna die or pass out escalating it all! Even now feel anxious am aware of the scary thoughts coming in about ‘something will happen to em’ and I’m trying to just continue playing with my son and BEING but truth be told, I’m subconsciously thinking about this and listening to the podcast I suppose this is DOING right?!
I struggle with heart palpitations pvc’s/pac’s. The fear is crippling when they come on more than usual. How can one be ok with abnormalities happening to the one thing that keeps us alive. HELP!
Did you visit cardiologist? Is everything ok with your heart?
@@zeroxcrusher yes I’ve had numerous ER visits and seen a couple cardiologist. Echo and stress test as well with no findings. Harmless PVC’s they say.
@@dulcekguerrero so every time the fear comes just tell yourself its ok, my palpitations are harmless. And your body will eventually learn not to send woosh every time your heart skips the beat
@@zeroxcrusher thank you for your suggestion. I will give it a shot and hopefully with time my body can learn to better deal with these awful things. X
I'm dealing with the same! It's really hard. How are you doing?
Down loaded the DARE app. Found the podcast from app.
What are some alternatives to while allowing 🤔
Live life. How would you behave if there were no anxiety sensations? Do that.
No matter how you feel.
Resume normal living with no attempt to “fix” the feelings.
I have a slew of issue, panic attacks, ocd, emetophobia. I feel the anxiety from the time I wake up until about 7 in the evening. But I don’t do anything different at 7 or in the evening but for some reason the anxiety goes way down at this time. What’s the reason and how can I feel like that all day and not just the evening time?
It's most likely a learnt behaviour of your body. You could almost think of it like feeling hungry or tired at certain times of the day. I have a similar thing with chronic tension triggered by many things as well as times of day. The more attention I've given it and the less I've engaged in life, the worse it's gotten.
@SmithSmith-lb2ce tried that for years, it doesn't work. Just creates more fear about being tense.
@@SmithSmith-lb2ce then why do I feel most relaxed in the morning and more tense as the day goes on. My tension is usually between a 7-9 as soon as my head hits the pillow.
@@CuriousCattery mine used to be in the evening for years. But over the last few years it’s in the morning and last all day until about 8. I can’t eat all day but as soon as evening hits I get my appetite back and feel the most calm. Not completely bc I am so anxiety and panic ridden but it’s a nice break from how I feel during the day.
@SmithSmith-lb2ce thanks dave.
I want advice Help me, I got over the anxiety, but I have anxiety about the erection. When will it go? Anyone reading my comment, have you ever gone through something like this? Please help me. I want to get married. Someone answer me.
Yeah guys, totally just let go and accept. Next thing you know it’s 2 years later and none of the symptoms have gone. What is the point of accepting again? I suffered anxiety for a week yet my nervous system will be sensitive for months? Doesn’t sound very scientific
It’s still there because you haven’t truly accepted it. Even with the language you used typing it’s obvious you haven’t let go.
@@JasmineBrianaYCM I haven’t had anxiety for a week. I really want to know where is the science that backs this up? This is all a ploy to get people to accept their now permanent state, and if you question it, its because you haven’t “accepted”. When you show me the science, I’ll accept it.
@jesse8737
Recovery isn't about not having symptoms mate ;) This is tricky part really, because you can't see a progress instant/live either. I don't know how to explain this, but it's happen on it's own somehow. But it works. You can't constantly checkin in, if it works and how you feel all the time, then you forevering stuff, like suffering to the end of days etc:.
-Live your life.
- Do the opposite to fear.
You can do this and you'll be there, promise
As you said, you haven't had it for a week. Cool. Im guessing that after that week you felt some symptom, and it's cool as well. But you make a little mistake and start to tell a story to yourself about that symptom. Your behavior sensitized you futher not a anxiety feeling. This is good information because you can change your behavior ;). Trust me, been there, see and feel that too ;] Happy new year. And that sentance you wrpte about not enjoying life ever again, its bullshit of your thoughts and ideas too, don't buy that ;)
If you aren’t able to follow the practices on your own I highly recommend going to cbt therapy. They will explain the science, the mind is super moldable and can change its habits. It takes a lot of patience and practice in the way we respond to discomfort.