@@tory198511 It is going very well for us! I would say , that is because we are both very setup for learning all the time, especially from failing. (about ourselves and the spouce). If you get good at standing up from everytime you fall you are likely to also survive a life long great strong marriage ;) My wife adds that purity and waiting till marriage has matured and equipped us with the basics we need in marriage. It also teached us patience, dignity, and true love. I hope that helps, God bless u
That's true, you don't have to be all put together to marry someone but you need to make sure you and the other person want to grow in the same direction and reach the same kind of maturity
from book( To Save a Thousand Souls) Who Will You Bring With You Into Heaven? I once heard a priest tell his vocation story. I grew up in a very close, devout Catholic family with loving parents and we prayed together as a family every day. I attended a Catholic school with wonderful teaching Sisters and everything in my life revolved around the Church. I lived in a very Catholic culture. I was the number one altar server, the star student, and a leader in my class. Because of this, and the fact that I loved being around the parish, serving and helping out the priests, everyone would say the same thing, “You will be a priest when you grow up. Won’t you?” I heard this constantly from the other kids in my class, from the sisters who taught me, and from the two assistant priests, who were always visiting the classes and interacting with me around the church. But I never heard it from the pastor, which I appreciated. I got tired of people urging the priesthood on me, because I did not especially want to become a priest. I always wondered why the pastor, an elderly Monsignor, never asked me about priesthood as everyone else did, though he was always very kind to the altar servers. One day, as I was coming close to graduation from the parish school, I was assigned to serve the seven o’clock morning Mass and the elderly pastor was the celebrant. Only the two of us were in the sacristy and he vested in silence, mumbling the vesting prayers in Latin and preparing himself for Holy Mass. With just two minutes to go before the Mass began, the Monsignor suddenly turned and said, “John, what will you be doing when you grow up?” I thought to myself, “Oh boy, here it comes. Even from Monsignor.” But I replied, “Monsignor, I am still not certain but I am thinking about going into medicine. I would like to become a doctor.” And the pastor replied, “Good. Good. And what will you do after that?” I said, “Well, I suppose I will marry and have a family of my own.” The priest said, “Good, and what after that?” Not sure exactly where he was going with this line of questioning, I replied, “I guess I will grow old, practicing medicine, and eventually retire. And then I guess I will die and go to heaven.” The pastor nodded his head knowingly, thoughtfully, and he was quiet for a few seconds. Then he looked at me earnestly and said, “And who will you bring with you into heaven?” Immediately, he rang the sacristy bell and we walked out to begin the Mass. I thought to myself, “How clever you are, Monsignor. How clever you are.” I thought about that comment all during the Mass and many more times during my adolescent and young adult years. “And who will you bring with you into heaven?” It was asking myself that question repeatedly that really turned the tide and convinced me eventually that I should become a priest. Every vocation is about helping other people reach heaven. I tell this story not to minimize the greatness of the sacrament of marriage, because marriage serves the same purpose! I suppose the young man might have used the same comment made by the pastor to move him towards the vocation of marriage. But the story illustrates the critical point that a vocation is not primarily about self-fulfillment, but about being the instrument of God in saving others. “What will you do with your life? What are your plans? Have you ever thought of committing your existence totally to Christ? Do you think that there can be anything greater than to bring Jesus to people and people to Jesus?” Pope John Paul II
Love this video! It's so easy to fall into the "I'm not ready..." trap. Instead, we should focus on being ready to be 'more' ready. One thing, the audio is a bit unbalanced between the music and voice. I think the voice could use a boost.
This honestly helped me a lot when I was wondering a good time to ask my girlfriend to marry me. I have the mindset that I need to just here “here” first, let me have “this” first and so and so on before I ask her, but I’m just moving the goal post when the goal post will never stop moving. I want to build a life with her, not have one already then maybe add her
People who are getting married should talk about whether they are prepared to have a baby that's deformed or disabled or not perfect. 🖤 Also teach your kids to be nice to disabled people that's their brother that's their sister that could be them that could be their child
Our Primary Vocation is Holiness Happiness is doing the will of God. Interestingly, that could also be the definition of holiness. The primary and universal vocation of every person in the world is to be holy-to become like Jesus Christ. Christ-likeness is the only success recognized by God. Or, as St. Bonaventure said: “If you learn everything except Christ, you learn nothing. If you learn nothing except Christ, you learn everything.”11 Interestingly, the people who take holiness seriously are also the people who experience the most happiness here in this life. Why? Because our holiness is preparing us for the supreme happiness of heaven, the true destiny for which we were made, not some glimmer of happiness which we might experience here. Holiness directly leads to fulfillment and human flourishing, and the entire concept of vocation encompasses both. The first vocation of every baptized person is to become a saint. While that may seem daunting, the good news is that this vocation does not require any discernment. The Church and Sacred Scripture both tell us clearly and definitively that holiness is everyone’s primary vocation. The Church on earth is endowed already with a sanctity that is real though imperfect. In her members, perfect holiness is something yet to be acquired. Strengthened by so many and such great means of salvation, all the faithful, whatever their condition or state-though each in his own way-are called by the Lord to that perfection of sanctity by which the Father himself is perfect. CCC #825 Discerning and accepting one’s vocation is like building a pyramid. It must be constructed from the bottom up. A man will not be able to know and accept his secondary or particular vocation-marriage or priesthood, for example-until he has been seriously striving towards his primary vocation of holiness. Some have tried to do it in reverse, and almost always have failed. Fr Brett Brannen
There are only three kinds of persons; those who serve God, having found Him; others who are occupied in seeking Him, not having found Him; while the remainder live without seeking Him and without having found Him. The first are reasonable and happy, the last are foolish and unhappy; those between are unhappy and reasonable.” Fr Brett Brannen ( To Save a Thousand of Souls)
The Vocational Pre-Determination by God When I was a vocation director, I would visit the Catholic schools in my diocese to teach the children about vocations. I explained to them that before God had even created the world, he knew them and he loved them. He already knew your name, he knew every thought you would ever think, he knew how many hairs were on your head, he knew your sins, he knew your good deeds, and he even saw the moment of your death and your entrance into heaven. And God had already decided your vocation before he had even made the world! Or at least, he had already planned to which vocation you would be called. When it finally became time for you to be born, God created your soul to go inside your tiny body, and it was created specifically for that pre-determined vocation. I call this concept the vocational pre-determination by God, or vocational pre-destination. If God is calling you to marriage, then he prepared your soul and gave you the gifts of body and soul to live out the vocation of marriage. If God is calling you to priesthood, then your soul and body were made with that vocation in mind. This will be an important hint for you as you discern. Look at the gifts God has given to you and where those gifts are best used to build up the Kingdom. Fr Brett Brannen
I’m currently 18, a recent Catholic convert, and marriage has been one of the my most important goals right after getting closer to God. I not only believe Marriage is one of the greatest gifts from God but also a great way for each person within the marriage to help the other (and by effect their children) to grow closer to the almighty God. My goal right now is to be married and have children at least by the age of 24-25. But looking at my future ahead I know it’s going to be tough and definitely can see this view of having an early marriage problematic to my family who are not Catholic. I’m currently planning on becoming a BSN and I practically already have my associates degree (I’m a senior this year) so I really only have four years of college to do, but by the time I’m done with all of that I’ll be at or nearly the age I want to get married. I don’t know if that is a good time to make such a large commitment when I probably won’t even have a job at that point. Would you suggest I get married and just live off the support of both parties families until a stable income can be made or should I just wait off till I feel my situation is stable enough? I most likely will be a single income family as I want and am ready to be the main provider for the family. Currently talking to one of the women who goes to my FSSP parish and I feel like if not her, many of the women there are great, loyal, and spiritually strong people, so I’ve never been more ready to set myself up with one of them. Also is it good to get engaged as soon as possible and just wait it out until the timing is right for marriage?
Thank you for sharing, brother! That's a beautiful journey and we're excited and praying for you. Please consider onsider submitting your question to The Ask Christopher West Podcast where Christopher and his wife Wendy address more specific issues and give more detailed advice. Feel free to submit your question here: askchristopherwest.com/ask and check periodically to see if your question was answered.
I am so afraid I will say or do something stupid, then die. Or worse, deny God from fear of suffering great painful nightmarish torture then die. I know God will be with me in that moment, so it upsets me that I'm still adraid of it. I am afraid we don't have long and I have not understood what to prepare. Is my home going to be a sanctuary? If so, how do I get it ready? Am I to go somewhere else? If so, will I see the signs? Do I stillhave serious mortal sin in my past yet unconfessed? Forgotten? Am I committing serious sin now and am unaware of it. Have I judged someone, is there someone I haven't forgiven? Why is it becomming so hard to fast and pray? Why am I getting weaker and not stronger? Am I being deceived? How would I possibly know? I think I am doing right, but if I'm deceived then all is lost, right? How do I keep from being mislead straight into etermal damnation? I can't live without God. I couldn't bare to be without Him and Our Mother and all the Saints whom I've come to depend on... Eternally??? I have so many questions and no one to answer them. It's a scary time.
I can recommend you few books which will help you to grow a personal relationship with jesus... Poem of man god by Maria Valtorta vol 1 - 5 Through the eyes of Jesus by Alan Ames vol 1 - 3 Those books helped me...your all questions will be answered while walking with Jesus
Dear, you seem to suffer from scrupulosity! If you haven't heard this term already, it means that you are constantly worried about the state of your soul and of sinning. Please look into this. I recommend Fr. Ripperger's video on this. If you can, get a good spiritual director if you don't have one. Do not worry about past confessions - they are only invalid if you deliberately neglected to confess something. If you have honestly forgotten anything, but would be sorry if you remembered it, God will accept that in His mercy (even imperfect contrition suffices). I suffer from scruples and this way of negative thinking, too. I'll say a prayer for you.
Fr Brett Brannen ( To Save a Thousand of Souls) # a vocation is not primarily about self-fulfillment, but about being the instrument of God in saving others # Discernment is not a choice between good and evil, but often a choice between the good and the best. What is best for you is your proper vocation. # All fears can be overcome by increasing one’s faith, hope, and love. In fact, it is not overly simplistic to state that every problem known to man can be fixed by these three theological virtues # God is infinite in power and he loves me infinitely. There is no snatching out of his hand. God will never send me where his grace cannot sustain me. If he asks me to do something difficult, like become *******, he will give me the grace to do it. I will not fail because he is with me. And I will be happy because I am doing his will. Even if I lack some of the needed qualities, God will help me develop them. In his will lies my peace.
If I can get fired just like that what is the point of working for someone? I might get into a car accident if I hit the road so should I avoid driving to avoid the risk? And if we all die in the end what is the point of living, might as well end our lives now?
@@lavieestundestin if you know you won’t get fired at work, Wouldn’t you have enough security to be able to be more creative and work on all your weakness and give your best toward the success of the business. That energy you waste on securing your position to not get fired is now turned into working on deeper things. Although the topic of marriage/divorce is much different, but I don’t think it is that black and white to compare to other things in life that could have negative possibilities.
Young men and fools getting remarried. Not only are you not ready for marriage, You're definitely not ready for the legal process. That will hover over you your entire life if you have children's ones you're divorced. Odds are you we'll get divorced and at legal process is predatory to men. The marriage contract is a legally binding contract which will have you in disadvantage.
NFP when it plans in thought, word, and deed to exclusively have recourse to the infertile period in order to avoid having children is a mortal sin because it tries to separate in thought, word or deed the primary purpose of the conjugal act and marriage which is the procreation and education of children for God’s glory. The whole “Christopher West, Janet Smith” era of the promotion and interpretations of Karl Wojtyla’s “Theology the Body” was an era which seriously, and still does, thwart the primary purpose of marriage through NFP and it continues to be a scandalous disaster to the sacrament of marriage as was instituted by Our Lord Jesus Christ. Lord have mercy on us.
Im getting married in 2 days!! :D
Congratulations! Best wishes to you and your soon-to-be spouse!
@@norik434 thanks! :))) I will pray for you
Very exciting! Bless!
How's it going? I'm just curious cuz I'm a little nervous about getting married myself
@@tory198511 It is going very well for us! I would say , that is because we are both very setup for learning all the time, especially from failing. (about ourselves and the spouce). If you get good at standing up from everytime you fall you are likely to also survive a life long great strong marriage ;)
My wife adds that purity and waiting till marriage has matured and equipped us with the basics we need in marriage. It also teached us patience, dignity, and true love. I hope that helps, God bless u
That's true, you don't have to be all put together to marry someone but you need to make sure you and the other person want to grow in the same direction and reach the same kind of maturity
...Be matured enough to continue maturing. Amazing piece of advice from JPII.
from book( To Save a Thousand Souls) Who Will You Bring With You Into Heaven? I once heard a priest tell his vocation story. I grew up in a very close, devout Catholic family with loving parents and we prayed together as a family every day. I attended a Catholic school with wonderful teaching Sisters and everything in my life revolved around the Church. I lived in a very Catholic culture. I was the number one altar server, the star student, and a leader in my class. Because of this, and the fact that I loved being around the parish, serving and helping out the priests, everyone would say the same thing, “You will be a priest when you grow up. Won’t you?” I heard this constantly from the other kids in my class, from the sisters who taught me, and from the two assistant priests, who were always visiting the classes and interacting with me around the church. But I never heard it from the pastor, which I appreciated. I got tired of people urging the priesthood on me, because I did not especially want to become a priest. I always wondered why the pastor, an elderly Monsignor, never asked me about priesthood as everyone else did, though he was always very kind to the altar servers. One day, as I was coming close to graduation from the parish school, I was assigned to serve the seven o’clock morning Mass and the elderly pastor was the celebrant. Only the two of us were in the sacristy and he vested in silence, mumbling the vesting prayers in Latin and preparing himself for Holy Mass. With just two minutes to go before the Mass began, the Monsignor suddenly turned and said, “John, what will you be doing when you grow up?” I thought to myself, “Oh boy, here it comes. Even from Monsignor.” But I replied, “Monsignor, I am still not certain but I am thinking about going into medicine. I would like to become a doctor.” And the pastor replied, “Good. Good. And what will you do after that?” I said, “Well, I suppose I will marry and have a family of my own.” The priest said, “Good, and what after that?” Not sure exactly where he was going with this line of questioning, I replied, “I guess I will grow old, practicing medicine, and eventually retire. And then I guess I will die and go to heaven.” The pastor nodded his head knowingly, thoughtfully, and he was quiet for a few seconds. Then he looked at me earnestly and said, “And who will you bring with you into heaven?” Immediately, he rang the sacristy bell and we walked out to begin the Mass. I thought to myself, “How clever you are, Monsignor. How clever you are.” I thought about that comment all during the Mass and many more times during my adolescent and young adult years. “And who will you bring with you into heaven?” It was asking myself that question repeatedly that really turned the tide and convinced me eventually that I should become a priest. Every vocation is about helping other people reach heaven. I tell this story not to minimize the greatness of the sacrament of marriage, because marriage serves the same purpose! I suppose the young man might have used the same comment made by the pastor to move him towards the vocation of marriage. But the story illustrates the critical point that a vocation is not primarily about self-fulfillment, but about being the instrument of God in saving others. “What will you do with your life? What are your plans? Have you ever thought of committing your existence totally to Christ? Do you think that there can be anything greater than to bring Jesus to people and people to Jesus?” Pope John Paul II
Thank you for this wonderful excerpt! May God bless you!
Love this video! It's so easy to fall into the "I'm not ready..." trap. Instead, we should focus on being ready to be 'more' ready.
One thing, the audio is a bit unbalanced between the music and voice. I think the voice could use a boost.
This honestly helped me a lot when I was wondering a good time to ask my girlfriend to marry me. I have the mindset that I need to just here “here” first, let me have “this” first and so and so on before I ask her, but I’m just moving the goal post when the goal post will never stop moving. I want to build a life with her, not have one already then maybe add her
People who are getting married should talk about whether they are prepared to have a baby that's deformed or disabled or not perfect. 🖤 Also teach your kids to be nice to disabled people that's their brother that's their sister that could be them that could be their child
Im 47yrs old still waiting on the Lord for my future spouse.
Our Primary Vocation is Holiness Happiness is doing the will of God. Interestingly, that could also be the definition of holiness. The primary and universal vocation of every person in the world is to be holy-to become like Jesus Christ. Christ-likeness is the only success recognized by God. Or, as St. Bonaventure said: “If you learn everything except Christ, you learn nothing. If you learn nothing except Christ, you learn everything.”11 Interestingly, the people who take holiness seriously are also the people who experience the most happiness here in this life. Why? Because our holiness is preparing us for the supreme happiness of heaven, the true destiny for which we were made, not some glimmer of happiness which we might experience here. Holiness directly leads to fulfillment and human flourishing, and the entire concept of vocation encompasses both. The first vocation of every baptized person is to become a saint. While that may seem daunting, the good news is that this vocation does not require any discernment. The Church and Sacred Scripture both tell us clearly and definitively that holiness is everyone’s primary vocation. The Church on earth is endowed already with a sanctity that is real though imperfect. In her members, perfect holiness is something yet to be acquired. Strengthened by so many and such great means of salvation, all the faithful, whatever their condition or state-though each in his own way-are called by the Lord to that perfection of sanctity by which the Father himself is perfect. CCC #825 Discerning and accepting one’s vocation is like building a pyramid. It must be constructed from the bottom up. A man will not be able to know and accept his secondary or particular vocation-marriage or priesthood, for example-until he has been seriously striving towards his primary vocation of holiness. Some have tried to do it in reverse, and almost always have failed.
Fr Brett Brannen
There are only three kinds of persons; those who serve God, having found Him; others who are occupied in seeking Him, not having found Him; while the remainder live without seeking Him and without having found Him. The first are reasonable and happy, the last are foolish and unhappy; those between are unhappy and reasonable.”
Fr Brett Brannen ( To Save a Thousand of Souls)
The Vocational Pre-Determination by God When I was a vocation director, I would visit the Catholic schools in my diocese to teach the children about vocations. I explained to them that before God had even created the world, he knew them and he loved them. He already knew your name, he knew every thought you would ever think, he knew how many hairs were on your head, he knew your sins, he knew your good deeds, and he even saw the moment of your death and your entrance into heaven. And God had already decided your vocation before he had even made the world! Or at least, he had already planned to which vocation you would be called. When it finally became time for you to be born, God created your soul to go inside your tiny body, and it was created specifically for that pre-determined vocation. I call this concept the vocational pre-determination by God, or vocational pre-destination. If God is calling you to marriage, then he prepared your soul and gave you the gifts of body and soul to live out the vocation of marriage. If God is calling you to priesthood, then your soul and body were made with that vocation in mind. This will be an important hint for you as you discern. Look at the gifts God has given to you and where those gifts are best used to build up the Kingdom.
Fr Brett Brannen
I'm 49 so I'm right there with you
Why not just look for one yourself?
I'm ready. My man, what's taking you so long?
Amen! Thanks again Christopher!
I’m currently 18, a recent Catholic convert, and marriage has been one of the my most important goals right after getting closer to God. I not only believe Marriage is one of the greatest gifts from God but also a great way for each person within the marriage to help the other (and by effect their children) to grow closer to the almighty God. My goal right now is to be married and have children at least by the age of 24-25. But looking at my future ahead I know it’s going to be tough and definitely can see this view of having an early marriage problematic to my family who are not Catholic. I’m currently planning on becoming a BSN and I practically already have my associates degree (I’m a senior this year) so I really only have four years of college to do, but by the time I’m done with all of that I’ll be at or nearly the age I want to get married. I don’t know if that is a good time to make such a large commitment when I probably won’t even have a job at that point. Would you suggest I get married and just live off the support of both parties families until a stable income can be made or should I just wait off till I feel my situation is stable enough? I most likely will be a single income family as I want and am ready to be the main provider for the family. Currently talking to one of the women who goes to my FSSP parish and I feel like if not her, many of the women there are great, loyal, and spiritually strong people, so I’ve never been more ready to set myself up with one of them.
Also is it good to get engaged as soon as possible and just wait it out until the timing is right for marriage?
Thank you for sharing, brother! That's a beautiful journey and we're excited and praying for you. Please consider onsider submitting your question to The Ask Christopher West Podcast where Christopher and his wife Wendy address more specific issues and give more detailed advice. Feel free to submit your question here: askchristopherwest.com/ask and check periodically to see if your question was answered.
You have to be mature enough to continue maturing when you marry.
Take it easy heal and learned from the mistakes
I’m getting married in January 🥰
I am so afraid I will say or do something stupid, then die. Or worse, deny God from fear of suffering great painful nightmarish torture then die. I know God will be with me in that moment, so it upsets me that I'm still adraid of it.
I am afraid we don't have long and I have not understood what to prepare.
Is my home going to be a sanctuary? If so, how do I get it ready? Am I to go somewhere else? If so, will I see the signs?
Do I stillhave serious mortal sin in my past yet unconfessed? Forgotten? Am I committing serious sin now and am unaware of it. Have I judged someone, is there someone I haven't forgiven?
Why is it becomming so hard to fast and pray? Why am I getting weaker and not stronger?
Am I being deceived? How would I possibly know? I think I am doing right, but if I'm deceived then all is lost, right? How do I keep from being mislead straight into etermal damnation? I can't live without God. I couldn't bare to be without Him and Our Mother and all the Saints whom I've come to depend on... Eternally???
I have so many questions and no one to answer them. It's a scary time.
I can recommend you few books which will help you to grow a personal relationship with jesus...
Poem of man god by Maria Valtorta vol 1 - 5
Through the eyes of Jesus by Alan Ames vol 1 - 3
Those books helped me...your all questions will be answered while walking with Jesus
Dear, you seem to suffer from scrupulosity! If you haven't heard this term already, it means that you are constantly worried about the state of your soul and of sinning. Please look into this. I recommend Fr. Ripperger's video on this. If you can, get a good spiritual director if you don't have one. Do not worry about past confessions - they are only invalid if you deliberately neglected to confess something. If you have honestly forgotten anything, but would be sorry if you remembered it, God will accept that in His mercy (even imperfect contrition suffices). I suffer from scruples and this way of negative thinking, too. I'll say a prayer for you.
Definitely scrupulosity! I deal with this too. I plan on taking therapy with a catholic therapist to help me with this🙏🏽
He said a lot in this lil 4 minutes!
God bless
I mean if you can just get a divorce, What is the purpose of marriage?
Fr Brett Brannen ( To Save a Thousand of Souls)
# a vocation is not primarily about self-fulfillment, but about being the instrument of God in saving others
# Discernment is not a choice between good and evil, but often a choice between the good and the best. What is best for you is your proper vocation.
# All fears can be overcome by increasing one’s faith, hope, and love. In fact, it is not overly simplistic to state that every problem known to man can be fixed by these three theological virtues
# God is infinite in power and he loves me infinitely. There is no snatching out of his hand. God will never send me where his grace cannot sustain me. If he asks me to do something difficult, like become *******, he will give me the grace to do it. I will not fail because he is with me. And I will be happy because I am doing his will. Even if I lack some of the needed qualities, God will help me develop them. In his will lies my peace.
If I can get fired just like that what is the point of working for someone? I might get into a car accident if I hit the road so should I avoid driving to avoid the risk? And if we all die in the end what is the point of living, might as well end our lives now?
@@lavieestundestin if you know you won’t get fired at work, Wouldn’t you have enough security to be able to be more creative and work on all your weakness and give your best toward the success of the business. That energy you waste on securing your position to not get fired is now turned into working on deeper things.
Although the topic of marriage/divorce is much different, but I don’t think it is that black and white to compare to other things in life that could have negative possibilities.
F*£& Yes
Not with my ex wife sorry 😢
Young men and fools getting remarried. Not only are you not ready for marriage, You're definitely not ready for the legal process. That will hover over you your entire life if you have children's ones you're divorced. Odds are you we'll get divorced and at legal process is predatory to men.
The marriage contract is a legally binding contract which will have you in disadvantage.
NFP when it plans in thought, word, and deed to exclusively have recourse to the infertile period in order to avoid having children is a mortal sin because it tries to separate in thought, word or deed the primary purpose of the conjugal act and marriage which is the procreation and education of children for God’s glory. The whole “Christopher West, Janet Smith” era of the promotion and interpretations of Karl Wojtyla’s “Theology the Body” was an era which seriously, and still does, thwart the primary purpose of marriage through NFP and it continues to be a scandalous disaster to the sacrament of marriage as was instituted by Our Lord Jesus Christ. Lord have mercy on us.