Dad Abandoned Me 19Yrs Ago & Let Me Starve But Now He Got Sick & His 2nd Wife Left Him So He Calls..

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ก.พ. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 103

  • @lorilancaster5917
    @lorilancaster5917 หลายเดือนก่อน +95

    Inheritance story: what is going on with the ESH commenters? “He may have underlying issues”. Yes he does and that he’s an AH and expects to use inheritance meant for OP and their kids for HIS wants! If the tables were turned, I doubt he would let OP have input on his inheritance

    • @Clyde-S-Wilcox
      @Clyde-S-Wilcox หลายเดือนก่อน +23

      People think an ESH reaction will make them look wise and insightful since only they can see how really there are no villains. It's sanctimonious and pathetic.

    • @velvety2006
      @velvety2006 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      i think op should take their finances under a microscope, he might have some debt or an addiction or something and wants to use the money to get rid of it or fund it. Why would you sell land your paid to keep?

    • @debraellison6255
      @debraellison6255 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I had the same thoughts. If it's used to build a house he get half. He may be insecure and wants to be in control. I think he wants to control everything. Why else would he get so mad.

    • @Nukie144
      @Nukie144 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I never understand those people that blame OP for the other party not communicating. If HE has an underlying issue, how would that make HER TA?

    • @Nukie144
      @Nukie144 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@velvety2006Or maybe he doesn't want her to have a safety net. She's got a property in her name only that she can sell if she needs to get out quick, or build a home for herself and her kids on if she leaves.

  • @Symphonia30
    @Symphonia30 หลายเดือนก่อน +92

    Personally I find the whole concept of work wife and work husband honestly stupid

    • @lorilancaster5917
      @lorilancaster5917 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      @@Symphonia30 and apparently so did everyone in that story except Lily. I do hope someone reports her to HR because she’s making the work environment hostile

    • @RudesMom
      @RudesMom หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Work wife? How about secretary?

    • @diamondjim7560
      @diamondjim7560 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      It is stupid. That is the kind of mentality that can get a man in deep trouble, either from an actual indiscretion or from a misunderstood or deliberate indiscretion by the woman.

    • @CreditR01
      @CreditR01 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It's basically a cheating code or wannabe cheater.

    • @greyscalesx
      @greyscalesx หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@diamondjim7560Workhusband is something some men say too. Don't make this a "women put men into trouble for this" as if the other way around isn't as frequent. Everytime I've hear someone use the term, both parties were referring to eachother as such & were dismissive of their SO's concerns.

  • @RobertCampsall
    @RobertCampsall หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    "My dearest aunt, I am so truly sorry that you bullied my sister." Tah-dah! One apology, said with absolute sincerity.

  • @jkschnik6952
    @jkschnik6952 หลายเดือนก่อน +61

    Story 1: NTA I love all the people who call an abused/neglected party ungrateful. What exactly is OP supposed to be grateful for? Being abandoned and neglected for the last 19 years?

    • @trippinggauntlet4520
      @trippinggauntlet4520 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      For being too lazy to wear a condom? 🤷‍♂️

    • @lorilancaster5917
      @lorilancaster5917 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Which why is brother on team donor? He was abandoned too and had to worry about food. Brother should be put in a time out for his actions, reaction, and he was most likely is the one who gave the donor OPs number.
      Also curious to know how sick the donor really is if he has all this energy to yell and call OP horrible names. What happened to “wanting to reconnect”?

    • @Clyde-S-Wilcox
      @Clyde-S-Wilcox หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@lorilancaster5917Yeah he's just hoping OP will take the responsibility for the sperm donor so he doesn't have to deal with it himself.

    • @velvety2006
      @velvety2006 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      op should write down names and addresses of the people who say 'blood is blood' and give it to dad telling him this a list volunteers have fun.

    • @akl2k7
      @akl2k7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      No kidding. I don't think they know what the word even means. It means "unthankful", and OP has nothing to thank the deadbeat for. He was gone for far longer than he was even in OP's life.

  • @mamm7223
    @mamm7223 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    I think the idea of a mini-fridge in the room and a lock on the door is the perfect solution.

    • @velvety2006
      @velvety2006 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      op should point out that the free meals is maybe the only reason he is dating her now

  • @Love2Banime
    @Love2Banime หลายเดือนก่อน +43

    Just because someone is child-free doesnt mean they're the "go-tos"; childfree people have lives too! NTA in S1. The dad abandoned his kids. The extended family can take him in if they have the time to berate OP.

    • @diamondjim7560
      @diamondjim7560 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      It’s an easy excuse for them, “You’re his daughter. It’s your obligation, not mine.” The brother is using the excuse that he has a family, “but you have no family, so tag, you’re it.” See everyone else has a clear conscience for not stepping into that C F.

  • @darkmask5933
    @darkmask5933 หลายเดือนก่อน +33

    Final story: This story sounds familiar... if memory serves OP started trying to lock her food down, and Tom started getting super passive aggressive about it, making OP super uncomfortable. Sarah confronts OP and says OP is being an AH because Tom is "practically a roommate". OP snaps and says Tom doesn't live there, and Sarah was like "well what if he was" pushing for Tom to move in. OP puts her foot down and plans on moving out, and Sarah is freaking out because Tom wasn't actually going to pay for the bills or rent if he moved in, so she not only expected OP to be ok with moocher Tom moving in, but also paying the rent 50/50 and letting Tom eat her food.

    • @lorilancaster5917
      @lorilancaster5917 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I think that sounds familiar too.

    • @joeschmo622
      @joeschmo622 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      _"Fine. I'm reducing my share of the rent from 1/2 to 1/3 effective immediately. He pays his share, or if not, _*_you_*_ pick up the slack. And any issues with nonpayment to the landlord, and I'll be moving out asap."_
      'Though much easier to sic the landlord on both of them. But not as much fun.

  • @Clyde-S-Wilcox
    @Clyde-S-Wilcox หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    Story 4: Your aunt is a bully and your parents are enablers for wanting you to apologize. Don't do it.

    • @lorilancaster5917
      @lorilancaster5917 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      How can they value the feelings of this ogre over their own kids? OPs sister will remember this including those who backed her and those who just watched.

    • @velvety2006
      @velvety2006 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@lorilancaster5917 wanna bet the aunt has tried to be a model but has been told she does not have the right build?

    • @lorilancaster5917
      @lorilancaster5917 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@velvety2006or for other reasons but she just fixated on being the wrong build

  • @morallyambiguousnet
    @morallyambiguousnet หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Story #1 - My father checked out on us, for his AP, more than 40 years ago. My mother passed a few years back and I'm dreading the time that my father tries the "long lost daddy" routine, because he has no one left. He tried it about 30 years ago and I slammed the door in his face.

  • @patrickdix772
    @patrickdix772 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Bully Aunt Story: OP is in one of the few circumstances that a false apology is appropriate. Something along the lines of "I'm sorry that I responded badly to you deciding to bully my sister. I'm sorry that you think abusing my sister is an ok thing to do. I'm sorry that calling out your bullying upset you."

  • @kristinwiebold2433
    @kristinwiebold2433 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    OP NTA. Lilly was the one who caused this drama. She was the one who brought up work wives. I think what OP said was fine. Glad the other guys didn't let Lily lie about Op at their workplace.

  • @Clyde-S-Wilcox
    @Clyde-S-Wilcox หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    Story 3: Sorry you had to find out this way that your husband is trash.

  • @EnDB
    @EnDB หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    I wouldn't sell an inheritance so that a selfish person could convert it into a martial asset.

  • @Kattlarv
    @Kattlarv หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Just start charging for the stolen food. Retroactively. Call her stingy if she complains that you "took it without permission". And state it moving forward.

  • @JWWTPRICE
    @JWWTPRICE หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I always love how these deadbeat people will call children when they are busted, broken, sick and on their death bed. Now that they are alone and have no one. If you weren't in this situation would you even have bothered to contact me, or even think of me. NO. Just keep the same energy you have had over the last 19 years. Please don't go away mad just go away.

  • @JasperCatProductions
    @JasperCatProductions หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    Story one block him, he is not a father he abandoned his children. Anyone who doesn’t like can take care of the deadbeat. This is disgusting, you owe him nothing, he owes you a debt he can never pay.

    • @joimumu
      @joimumu หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Also block her brother and any family members that is pestering Op

  • @littlegreycat
    @littlegreycat หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    WTF would someone ground their child for standing up for their sister when they actually agree with their daughter and don't like what the aunt said. They are doormats

  • @ZombiiDog
    @ZombiiDog หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Dad regrets his mistake. Not until he needs a place to stay. NTA. Blood is blood? Yeah then they can help. They’re blood too imirite?😊

    • @justincooper5189
      @justincooper5189 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ZombiiDog damn right. They can foot his bills, his healthcare, his clothing, everything. First op doesn't need to have any contact with a deadbeat.

  • @jsanto210
    @jsanto210 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Almond mom story: telling her daughters that she will make them models tells me that everything those poor girls participate in is so she can live through them, not cause they actually like it

  • @RandomTrinidadian
    @RandomTrinidadian หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Story 1: NTA
    Sounds like Karma is finally catching up with the deadbeat.

  • @heidifruchtl354
    @heidifruchtl354 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The "work wife" story: OP is NTA. The closest I ever got to that kind of thing was I worked in a tiny satellite office with a supervisor. He was old enough to be my dad and we shared a similar national background, Norwegian. We had someone who noticed the similarities and the fact that we were comfortable working with each other and said that it was nice to see a father and daughter working together so well. We laughed, explained that we were just co-workers and chuckled about it after. My parents showed up to drop off lunch for me, and we told them. My dad just howled with laughter. I even invited this coworker to my wedding, even though we weren't working together anymore.

  • @wadehiggins1919
    @wadehiggins1919 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    OP has to apologize for calling out her aunt for bullying her sister. Why do people instill apologizing to their abusers? This is not good for anyone involved.

  • @MizFrost
    @MizFrost หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    In my office almost everyone is gay. Im the outlier.
    So when a guy has a work wife, his husband thinks its hilarious (because its ironic).

    • @Sienna6164
      @Sienna6164 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      lol!

  • @joeschmo622
    @joeschmo622 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    If I were The Opie, I'd tally up the cost of food that The Tom ate, and withhold that amount from the next month's rent-split.
    If The Roommate has an issue with paying for what *her* BF stole, then she shouldn't just "brush it off" as "not a big deal".

  • @mroilcat-b6x
    @mroilcat-b6x หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Old fart here...Been around a LONG time and that lady NEEDS to make a will giving sole ownership of the land to her children WITHOUT the husband's OK to sell the land. The "words" vary by state. I have recently run into sorta the same thing, but in reverse. A relative died and I was the executor of the estate, which where I live has limited powers. My relative left a very nice house, paid for, to be divided among the siblings. Well, one of my siblings passed but had 2 "kids" (mid thirties). They had to split their dead parent's portion of the estate; each got about an eighth. But they didn't want to sell the house but move into it. Everyone else wanted to sell and split the money. As the executor, I could have forced a sale but that would cost a ton in lawyer's fees. So I told the kids that we could get an order to sell, but it would take almost 2 years, cost $30,000 (which would come out of the proceeds of the sale, NOT my pocket) plus we would have to pay taxes ($8000 per year), insurance $3000 per year, cutting the grass and home maintenance on the house, all coming out of the sales proceeds. They agreed to the sale and the house was sold in 2 months, before the insurance and taxes came due again. They're still salty about it.

  • @MMKMoore1
    @MMKMoore1 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Story 1 - OP could forgive her father, but that doesn't mean she'd take him in.
    Story 2 - She's not his "work wife", she's a troublemaker creating a hostile work environment by attacking co-workers' partners.
    Story 3 - Sounds like husband's mask is starting to slip off. He sounds very controlling and entitled to OP's future inheritance. I'd be seriously rethinking this marriage. Those commenters are so very clueless. Why would he be stressed out about not using the money about an inheritance that hasn't happened yet?
    Story 4 - Wow, that aunt has serious problems. The child is only 8yo, FFS! I don't get why the parents want OP to apologize, since they had issues with that aunt said too.
    Story 5 - OP is being a doormat. It's not rude to tell off a thief and their enabler. He's a mooch. I'd check the lease about long term guests - many leases say you can't have someone stay more than a certain number of days per week or month. Since roommate doesn't care that he's stealing from OP, she should make plans to move out.

  • @stellamccoy5259
    @stellamccoy5259 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    S1. NTA. I would thank all those calling you heartless for taking him in. The man made his choice years ago, as did you.
    S2. NTA. Lily sure is, and she was trying to stir crap up. She will be trouble at work, and everyone else needs to keep an eye on her. Agree that those who say work wife/husband are up to no good.
    S3. NTA. That land is OP inheritance alone. Her husband has no say in the land. Keep the land and do with it as you wish.
    S4. NTA. Never ever apologize to the adult bully. Your parents will also be TA if they don't defend both of their daughters.
    S5. NTA. Food is too damn expensive to allow people to eat your food without compensation. Stop talking to Sara, talk to Tom. Tell him if he wants to eat your food he can pay for it.

  • @kkn9041
    @kkn9041 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Mooching BFF’s BF: OP should mark her food like a hotel minibar. Putting a “ $___ IF CONSUMED ”, tag on everything.😈

  • @LovesGaming37
    @LovesGaming37 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    It's always on the daughter to take care of the sick parents. What if she did have kids? Would they have just dropped the idea?

  • @SheldonMyette
    @SheldonMyette หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Tom in the last story is lucky he doesnt have My sister as a roommate. After sneaking her lunch food for about a week she decided to make chocolate haystacks as a lunch treat. Even though she labelled it hers..I ate some anyway. It was when the Exlax kicked in I knew. Messy situation all round

  • @Mewse1203
    @Mewse1203 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Work wife story: NTA so she was humiliated because *checks notes* Op wasn't insecure about her?

  • @justincooper5189
    @justincooper5189 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Lol. Has a horrible father,tells him he's horrible, and is wondering if they are an asshole? No. That's not being an asshole. That's being truthful and if he doesn't like it, he should have been a better person and father.

    • @classicrockkid345
      @classicrockkid345 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You say, causally ignoring the fact that OPs family is telling her she's wrong. I don't know if you know this, but when the majority is telling you, you're wrong, it makes you think, maybe you are wrong.

    • @vincentlucario5450
      @vincentlucario5450 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ⁠@@classicrockkid345well families often have their own “culture” that they stick to as long as they’re not involved. Op should note that no one is offering help, call them out.

    • @justincooper5189
      @justincooper5189 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@classicrockkid345 oh I saw that, but since they aren't trying to help, and OP is under NO obligation to help a cheater piece of shit, they are not wrong to tell the shit bag to kick rocks.

  • @kateemma22
    @kateemma22 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Oh Lily… have they picked you yet? lol

  • @scarletgoldenthorn
    @scarletgoldenthorn หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Her aunt is always saying that she “has to keep them skinny” and “she’ll make sure they’re models one day.” Yeah, aunt’s kids are going to grow up hating themselves and their bodies.

  • @dizzysdoings
    @dizzysdoings หลายเดือนก่อน

    That last story, if I were EVER in a position where I had to share housing with a roommate, I would have my own "kitchen" in my room, ie, a mini fridge, toaster oven, hot plate, etc. And, there would be a lock on my door. You hear too many stories of people with roommates that don't respect boundaries.

  • @richardlee653
    @richardlee653 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Story 1 - OP doesn't owe her absent and deadbeat father much at all (unless she is into blood-feuds). There is also another aspect. OP is 29 and may be thinking about having children herself. If she takes in her father, it will make things more tricky for her, and any current or future partner.

  • @EnDB
    @EnDB หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    OP should tell their dad that they learned from the best!

  • @Shea333-n3k
    @Shea333-n3k หลายเดือนก่อน

    OP, tell Tom straight to his face that he owes you for the food. He’s already eaten and that he is not to eat anymore of it. Go around your roommate since she is too spineless to speak to him herself. If necessary, put a lock on your food and keep a tally of all the expenses that you make for your food and present Tom with a bill. Tell him if necessary if he does not reimburse you, you will take him to small claims court for reimbursement.

  • @Kruhee
    @Kruhee หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The ESH verdict in the land story seems off. OP made a comment, and the husband responded aggressively. He tried to frame the land decision as "joint," but was clearly attempting to make it unilaterally. Discussing future assets isn’t wrong, but the way he went about it crosses into A-hole territory.
    Also, is he in some sort of financial trouble? Was he already invested in moving somewhere else? If that’s the case, it doesn’t make OP the A-hole - it means he needs to be upfront about it. Plus, OP never insisted they had to move there.

  • @taylorslade961
    @taylorslade961 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'm close with a male coworker and a different cowork tried to label me as his work wife. I shut that shit down so fast. It seems to be an older generation thing, so hopefully it'll be a distant memory soon.

  • @nondisclosure3920
    @nondisclosure3920 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I think it's more rude to eat someone else's food than to tell them to stop. Can't stand theives

  • @kristinwiebold2433
    @kristinwiebold2433 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Parents that abandon their children, pay no child support and do not see or really have relationships with their children while young, don't get to creep back into their children's lives when they are adults and get to demand that they take care of him or her.
    Op's dad decided to leave the family and was not there for them for 19 yrs. He went and started a new life with someone else. Now his second family can take care of them. The children for the first marriage owe him nothing. OP is not wrong for not wanting to waste his resources on a dead beat dad. Dad should get a job and work.

    • @nancyomalley6286
      @nancyomalley6286 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Her resources. OP is a woman. Her gender may be a factor in the whole family wanting her to take on the caretaking role for a selfish ahole deadbeat dad

  • @littlegreycat
    @littlegreycat หลายเดือนก่อน

    15:13 the roommates so rude. There were times in my college life when that would have made it so i literally had nothing to eat if someone ate my leftovers.

  • @Avysaurus
    @Avysaurus หลายเดือนก่อน

    S1, how is OP ungrateful when Dad did nothing for them?! That's what he gets for ditching his family.

  • @FrostLordOni
    @FrostLordOni หลายเดือนก่อน

    Inheritance story: I don’t believe the story happened as the OP described it. “I was super calm and respectful and kindly told him I didn’t want to sell the land, but he started yelling out of nowhere and angrily demanded I sell it.” Protip for anyone recounting your relationship problems to other people: if you paint your partner as being evil and irrational while you paint yourself as innocent and calm then any advice you get is completely worthless. Don’t downplay your faults and exaggerate theirs

  • @Clyde-S-Wilcox
    @Clyde-S-Wilcox หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Story 5: He's a thief and she's an enabler.

  • @noliva24
    @noliva24 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The inheritance story: the update makes the OP sound like an AH. Stubborn and mind never changes? Sounds like she gets her way very often. Maybe he’s fed up lol.

  • @hanoh2904
    @hanoh2904 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Last story. Get a separate mini fridge and lock it

  • @alamont75
    @alamont75 หลายเดือนก่อน

    ❤❤❤

  • @ashleecallard2385
    @ashleecallard2385 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The one where the the aunt bullied the preteen girl, my apology would be, I'm sorry I upset you when I called you out for bullying my little sister. I feel like that should be all that is expected of the op if their parents are adamant that they apologize

  • @Ani_Watermelon
    @Ani_Watermelon หลายเดือนก่อน

    Commenter1: cross that bridge when you come to it.
    Someone: talk about it now, don't wait!
    👀🙄

  • @83gemm
    @83gemm 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

    “Why are you arguing over something that hadn’t happened yet?”
    Are you stupid? How is waiting to argue about it a good idea? It should be settled now. It’s not his. There. Settled.

  • @nobodyuknow6337
    @nobodyuknow6337 หลายเดือนก่อน

    S 4: Apologize like this "I am so, so sorry - you're such a hateful witch." Start given her nicknames like "Hi and Cruella." Or hey aunty "Ursala!" And features the that aren't flattering on the aunt? Big nose? Chews like a cow? Anything t let her see what it feels like. Tell parents that they are gonna have to keep grounding you unless aunty apologizes to little sister, first.

  • @Rj-ij6ko
    @Rj-ij6ko หลายเดือนก่อน

    Story 2: So…everyone (i mean literally EVERYONE in this story) except the rude coworker thinks you’re in the right here…why did you feel the need to ask if you were in the wrong here…?
    NTA but…i just don’t get why you asked

  • @ven7165
    @ven7165 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Why is there a wooden wall right in front of the bench.

  • @MinkxiTes
    @MinkxiTes หลายเดือนก่อน

    I only heard thr term work wife when i got in contact with US drama lama. So it must be som us bs

  • @spacecat1974
    @spacecat1974 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    My work husband is gay. He makes sure I take my breaks. It’s not that deep. My spouse has a work wife, she just makes sure he takes his breaks. It’s not always that deep.

  • @nimisilverbird1239
    @nimisilverbird1239 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Nta. He can go find a 3rd wife and leave you alone

  • @jorceshaman
    @jorceshaman หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The work wife story... Real wife is ABSOLUTELY jealous based on her words so lies saying she doesn't get jealous... HOWEVER, I think she was otherwise 100% right in saying what she said.

  • @PuncherOfAbs
    @PuncherOfAbs หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The classic Karen reflex
    When presented with facts and or reality. The Karen accuses every one of being rude or attacking here.
    Which is the blame thrower version of doubling down