He doesn't want to say because he doesn't want to deduct his share of the inheritance so he thinks with him keeping quiet he won't have to pay his dad's estate back & get to keep the full inheritance
@@geminibluethis. This should have been disclosed. The loan should have been disclosed. I'm betting they were paying dad back. When he died, they stopped and kept quiet. They don't want to admit a loan, so they keep 100% of the share.
@@geminiblue - Yup, it's a debt owed to the estate of their late father. They in effect stole the car, by not paying back the money that's owed to the estate. Debts don't necessarily just disappear upon the death of the person to whom they are owed.
It's very clear the want to keep all the money from the car and also get 50% of the rest. Then they tried to excuse this oh we took dad shopping once in a while. Lmao what thiefs
If 3 out of 5 meals I cooked ended up straight in the trash and the ungrateful trash I was cooking for had the audacity to have an attitude about it I’d be gone. Your wife has no respect for you.
the wife who kept just throwing out the lunches her husband made pissed me off more than I thought she would. I kept waiting for the good reason why she did it and it was...just because she felt like it ....But what really put me over the edge is when OP stopped making her lunches and she had the nerve to get upset about it. If I were her husband I wouldn't be able to look at her the same again.
She might have took it at showing he cared rather than actually needing the food. Him not making food in her mind is him not caring anymore. Still her fault though.
@@noneedtoknow07 Her flippant responses after being questioned about throwing out the food and tantrum after he told her he wouldn't be making her lunch anymore should be more than enough clue she didn't care. She was just being selfish, thoughtless, and inconsiderate.
Dog story: I'm suspicious that the neighbors are trying to strip away OP's protection by either getting her dogs used to and accepting their presence in OP's space, or forcing her to get rid of any dogs that won't accept their presence. NTA, but she needs to add more layers of protection. Cameras, locks, defensive training and even defensive arms if OP is comfortable with them and they won't get her in legal difficulty.
Last Story: Anyone else get the feeling that based on this incident, the neighbors are "looking for a reason" to sue? Knowing the breed is already looked negatively upon and that he's protecting his home and owner is a bad sign that they will look for ways to torment or breach boundaries even more so than they already have. I wish OP good luck because she's going to have her hands full with those AHs.
Ugh, 3rd story - my then boyfriend knew I was no contact from my father for many years because the man was a violent and abusive; my bf still went to my father to ask for permission to marry. I was really upset at the time and realise now that he didn’t place any credence on my experiences, feelings or opinions, and what he believed in was more important to him, even to the point of ignoring what hurt me. We’re divorced now.
Story two Prue and her feelings are not your problem, why does Prue care so much about her boyfriend’s grandkids. Tell her to fudge off, tell grandpa to back off too.
My ONE question in that story is whether the OP has been coaching her daughter into not liking pink because she herself doesn’t like pink. You know, “make mommy proud and reject the color pink which is stereotypical ‘girl color’”. Hopefully the little girl is free to love any color SHE wants-not to please her pink-hating mother nor her insane pink-obsessed step grandmother!
Story 1: YTA and so is your husband. And you're going to face legal action because of it. I'm actually in a somewhat similar situation, where my parents lent me money when I lost my job so that I could pay off my mortgage and not lose my house. The difference is, my sisters know about it. I am still dutifully paying off the money on a monthly basis. But if my mom dies, the will states that everything is to be split equally. This means that whatever amount of money I still owe, let's say $20,000 is going to be in my portion of the estate. So if Mom's estate is 100,000 in cash, it's actually 100,000 cash + 20,000 that I owe for a total of 120,000. And we will be splitting that by 3, so that each of us gets $40,000. My $40,000 will include my $20,000 debt that I will no longer have to pay off, and $20,000 in cash, while my sisters will get $40,000 in cash. And that's fine by me. It is totally fair. So essentially, by not telling the brother that you owed the father the money, you ARE actually stealing part of his inheritance from him. It would be like my sisters and I splitting the money so that we each got $33,333 in cash and I ALSO got my debt wiped out for a total of $53,333 for me while my sisters only got $33,333. And speaking of stealing, I expect he'll be asking the police to look for a stolen car. Because whether your husband took the car or not, that's where I'd start looking for a mysteriously missing car.
Last story: op is 100% Nta. The neighbor became a threat as soon as they refused to leave OPs property, her wonderful rottie had every right to run them off.
If you borrow money from a person that dies you still owe them the money. You owe the estate. You have to pay the money back out of your portion. You would only have to pay back half of what is still owed since their are only two of you. But the Opie and her husband are being shady because they don't want to have to pay the money to the brother. They are trying to steal the money from the bro.
@@KadeStringer2.0 they are responsible for paying back the WHOLE loan, not half. The OP’s husband owed a debt to the father-the loan they were paying back. If they were moral and ethical people, they should contact the executor of the deceased dad’s estate to understand the process for repaying the remaining debt. Once it is paid back, then the executor of the will can decide to give each brother 50:50 of the total estate that is left.
@@KadeStringer2.0Exactly how it works. I know you’re a troll - I’ve seen plenty of your posts - but you can only troll on things that are opinions, not on things that are facts. It doesn’t work. Do better.
S3 - No law against a woman doing the proposing. OP ought to propose and let his answer be her guide to furthering the relationship. I have a feeling he is using the situation to avoid making it official.
3rd Story: Your boyfriend doesn’t want to marry you, he’s just using the family card as an excuse not to marry you🙄 No Lunch Lady: You did the right thing in not preparing meals for your wife anymore. It’s weird that your wife wants you to prepare food that she’ll just end up throwing away😟
Story 3: OP, Run, what he is saying is "I will force you to bring your family back into your life, no matter what you say. A guy who loves you would not force you to reconnect with your toxic family.
Story 1: YTA as well as your husband. your husband and you have literally everything to do with the missing car. You both need to come clean and register your debt to the estate so it can be handled in probate. Just because FIL died before you paid it back does not mean you do not have to pay that loan off.
He doesn't want to say because he doesn't want to deduct his share of the inheritance so he thinks with him keeping quiet he won't have to pay his dad's estate back & get to keep the full inheritance
@@geminiblue This... And I am willing to bet that car was worth a good chunk of the estate, maybe an old classic worth 100K plus. If it were just a cheap car there wouldn't be this huge fight. Also if this goes to court, those fees will come out of the estate not the brother's share, so all OP and her husband are doing is reducing the size of the estate by lying and covering up their debt and the sale.]] And if they are really unlucky the judge may order all the fees be out of her husbands share because he is the one committing fraud.
@@maurer3d It doesn't have to be an old car. It could be a newer car worth around $10,000 to 25,000. Though if it were an old classic, that drastically ups the amount of money missing.
@@jenniferhanses Does it matter how expensive the car was? In the end OP should have told the BIL or even better, OP's husband should have told him as how it stands now, they (OP and husband) both suck!
@@robertx8020 Morally, no, it does not matter. Proportionally, yes, it can matter. I mean, do you really make a big stink over your dad's beater truck that he's had since 1977 that is rust held together by rust, or his station car that is old and ugly and its main appeal is that it's reliable and no one wants to steal it at the train station if it's left for 8 to 12 hours every day? Unless your family is starving, I think most people will let things that are under, say, $3,000 go as just not worth the trouble. Though I think there'd be more good will toward letting things go if OP's husband just told the truth.
He doesn't want to say because he doesn't want to deduct his share of the inheritance so he thinks with him keeping quiet he won't have to pay his dad's estate back & get to keep the full inheritance
Right? People are stuggling to freaking eat anymore. Saying to do something that costs thousands of dollars is nuts. Yeah, it sounds great on paper but logistically unrealistic.
Especially since she said she lives in a rural area. Yards out in the countryside are MUCH bigger than those in the city or suburbs. They cost could be tens of thousands of dollars.
Story 4: If it's "no big deal" like the wife says she can start making her own lunch and toss it out, I wouldn't be surprised if the uneaten food stopped getting tossed out then, that or she'll just go out to eat instead.
This and since 'eating out multiple times a week' isn't cheap they should also split finanses as his wife is stealing (by throwing away food AND eating out) from the household. Money that could be spend on BOTH ppl
@@robertx8020I usually don’t agree with married couples having strictly separate finances because they are supposed to be a single unit, but in this case, where one spouse is conscientious about money management and one is almost literally throwing away money, it would be advisable. This attitude toward money is really something OP should have known about his wife before marriage. If she is this careless with money it may well carry over into other areas of their lives, and just because you and your spouse choose to separate your finances doesn’t mean the legal system will honor your agreements. He may find himself being forced to pay for her poor financial choices.
Story 1: Why not just tell him? Seriously what could possibly be so secret that it can’t be shared? As the car is part of the estate (had it not been sold) brother has a right to wonder where it went. Do they expect him to just never go looking for that money? They’re idiots on top of being AHs.
I think it’s because OP and spouse don’t want to reimburse Mark for half the car. Considering how they are in debt, they likely want to inherit every penny possible.
@@ghostdragon5735 brother doesn't know that. He only knows there was a car and now there's not. OP and husband not telling him the truth makes them look suspicious.
@@juliearmfield2634 Exactly, OP and the husband should have just told the brother. Seriously, that's all they needed to do. I also wonder how much this "loan" was, and if that would significantly shift the distribution of estate. If the loan was 50k and the estate is overall 250k the split would be 125k without the loan but should be 100 k / 150k taking the loan into account. I also don't doubt that this loan didn't have a legal contract tied to it, so for OP and the husband that loan will "disappear" as long as they don't talk about it to the brother.
I hate pink. My daughter loves it. I don't restrict her love of pink; in fact, I encourage it. As long as it makes her happy, I remind myself that it's just a color and she may grow to hate it eventually. I mean, she is 4.
S1: You and your husband done wrong and you know it. That's why you never told John. Just pay the money to the brother through your husband's half of his inheritance
@@jakealter5504it was a loan where they were repaying the dad, not a gift. A loan formerly owed to the dad is now a debt to the estate. OP and husband have to tell the executor and can be sued
I'm agreeing that they were completely in the wrong and trespassing but the fence advice is still sound. I wouldn't trust these entitled jerks to not pull this again.
He is forcing you to do something w estranged family. He is not the right person for you. Did he state "I must meet your family before engagement"??? They will not be at the wedding either. Say fu, bye.
Joke arguments? He does nasty jokes & thinks you should laugh too? Stop feeding her. Add up the cost of wasted food. Watch bank card to see when she goes out to eat.
Story #4: NTA!! Where I live eggs are $5.00 a dozen!! Food is too expensive to throw away!! I wouldn't make her anything else either! Buy a smaller refrigerator to put your meals in and padlock it!!
And take money from her account whenever she steals and trashes your food if she gets a hold of any. I’m curious about the income dynamic in the household
Consult a lawyer before putting up a sign Guard Dog on Duty because that could be an admission that you think the dog is dangerous. It gets crazy with what one can and can't do when it comes to liability.
“ But we were there for him, brother only saw him every three months, the loan was a private matter. ” Yeah, John ( not his real name ) is trying to pull a fast one.
Story 1: Let's see... solve the issue with one sentence... or keep secrets for no reason, to the point it leads to blows abd is twaring your brotherly bond apart. Of course YTA
Someone who wants to play Hallmark Hero at the expense of the person they supposedly love. Even if he does propose without a blessing, I can’t see the matter dropped.
Story 2: OP is not the A-hole. Prue is a HUGE A-HOLE for pushing something someone doesn't like on them. Tell Dad he needs to stop this behavior from his girlfriend if he wants a relationship with his granddaughter.
Not only that, but the other child, a boy, whose birthday party is closer to the time the party was ‘planed’. So they want a second birthday for the girl but the other kids will be subjected to it. Not only is Prue forcing what she wants for the 5ye old she’s going to possibly cause a jealousy rift between the siblings
I think Prue is pushing back because MOM admits she doesn’t like pink, so Prue thinks she’s doing the child a favor by ALLOWING her to like pink. I get it, but by this time, mom’s anti-pink stance has rubbed off on the child, and a BARBIE party isn’t going to solve it. My mother hated pink, and always dressed me in NAVY blue, yes, I’m a girl. Guess which color I wouldn’t be caught DEAD in? Yeah; navy. Parental preferences aren’t necessarily the child’s preferences.
@@kitkakittehthe child does have some pink items so her anti pink stance isn’t that strong. Pink is just not her favorite color and Prue pushing this color may be what’s causing further disdain
@@kitkakitteh I love pink. It is one of my two favorite colors. Guess what? My daughter also likes pink and purple like me. She always chose purple things, so I thought I'd sacrifice my love of purple so my daughter could have all things purple in our house. So pink things were mine and purple things were hers. When she got her own place, she bought pink things. That's when I learned she loved pink just as much as I did. I didn't make her like those colors. She is very contrary to me on most things, except our favorite colors. So maybe OP knows her child and is advocating for her genuine dislike of pink. Hard for me to imagine not liking pink, but it's possible and I'm fine with it. More pink for me.
As a dog owner, the neighbors were idiots for even entering your yard. Ah, wah, I'm wasn't a threat. Um next time tell the dogs. They didn't get the memo, lol. If the dogs don't know you they don't know if you're a threat or not. I have a 126lb dog, Kangul. She's somewhat friendly but people still feel like, oh she's so cute and try to pet her. She'll look at me and I ask them to please not pet her and I'll get the, oh it's ok. This really pisses me of so, I loosen the leash and she'll either lung at them or growl. Then and only then they'll get the point. Some, you need to train her better. No you need to respect our space.
If the boyfriend really is making meeting her family a requirement, he seems pretty naive. My boyfriend's father and his side of the family don't even know I exist. I trust my boyfriend when he tells me it would not go over well.
Last Story: NTA!! Please watch out for food that may get dropped over your side of the fence. My friend's hateful neighbor poisoned her dog with antifreeze.
Proposal story: It sounds like John has this script in his head of how things should be and is entirely incapable of mentally moving past that. Must propose - Must get her family's blessing first - Error 404: Family not found - Must get family's blessing... Or it could be an excuse.
3rd story: propose yourself. Bust your butt, buy him a super expensive piece of jewelry to his taste, spend a boatload on an experience, and propose. Or shut up. It's 2025; you want marriage, YOU do the labor.
So your hubby should have registered his debt to his dad with the estate. Then the estate be split in half, your hubby cheated his bro out of half of a classic car. Half could have been a little or a lot I.e. anywhere for 10k to 50k. Yta
Prepped lunch story: oh boy, as a man how loves to cook and does the same thing, I would be furious at my wife for doing this. 3 or 4 times a week? That's a lot of wasted food and money. Heck Op could save money by eating it himself the next day. Yeah, I'd do the same as Op, don't make a damn thing and when she'd get mad tell her, go look in the trash for your lunch because, that's how much you think of my efforts in doing something nice for you.
That sounds plausible. I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that she's throwing lunches out for the fun of it and wasting money. I mean, in today's world, only someone who has no financial intelligence would enjoy dropping $45 +/- for lunch per week.
Story 5: OP YTA,,, To yourself. What you are describing is harassment and Tresspassing. You told them to leave and they didn't. Call the local police directly and file a complaint, the if they do it again call the emergency line and have them arrested.
Poor dogs probably stay all day and night in those awful cages Americans love so much. She doesn't even take them for walks. My dogs always enjoyed the freedom of the backyard and still we went for walks in the evening when I got home from work. Dogs need to smell and meet.
Story 2: NTA. Prue is doing the classic "What you resist,persists". Prue is so focused on someone not liking one color that they pushed it onto someone that said person just despises the color even more because Prue refuses to respect basic boundaries. Prue is acting like someone no one wants to be friends with and that's her own fault
John doesn’t have the car BUT JOHN KNOWS WHY THE CAR IS GONE! John is acting shady! Proposal story- your boyfriend won’t propose unless he can meet and ask your estranged toxic family first? WHY DO YOU STILL want to marry a guy this dumb or this toxic? FOOD PREP- throw out my food casually? Buy your own- MAKE YOUR OWN! Neighbor story- trespassing trashy neighbors complain! You live in a bad neighborhood from the sound.
Story 1: So…Op and her husband did something without telling anyone, are now acting shady and refusing to reveal the truth…and are not offended that people think they did something shady… Of course YTA Op what is wrong with you…?
Story1: ETA, but just say he sold the car. Like on one hand I get it, this was something between you guys and the father and was a consensual act, on the other hand the brothers are fighting. The brother is an idiot for assuming the worst, yes OP and her husband are keeping a secret, but it's not a bad secret, the car wasn't stolen, the dad sold it of his own choice.
@ They could be keeping it a secret because of pride. They are not thieves, the father willingly sold the car of his own choice and gave them the money. From what the story tells us, nothing says they pressured him into it, it sounds like they had a closer bond with him as they often visited. If the old man had a stronger relationship with his other son, he would not have left him without the details of the car and probably would have given him more money.
Rottie story: NTA, and A POX on that redditor who said "NTA on paper", wtf *no*! No no no no, it is OP's property and Bella knows it, end of! Dogs can tell good people from bad and will protect their owner and property, especially working breed dogs, one of which is the Rottweiler! Bella is a good and very well-trained pupper. If OP can't do a fence, Bella will do, and the neighbors need to know they cannot trespass!
Your boyfriend doesn't want to get married. Haven't you figured that out? Since they abused you and he knows you won't take him m to meet them. You should end this relationship. And walk away. I feel sorry for you for wasting time on her m.
S1. The father sold the car before he died. It has nothing to do with the brother. S2. NTA. Why do little girls have to like pink. I am a 60 year old woman who has never liked pink. To push that on a child is plain crazy. S3. OP, he does not want to marry you. He knows how you are estranged from your family and is using it as an excuse. Go find your own place and find someone who truly wants to marry you.
Story 2: Indeed,NTA. Plus, if you look at ancient Chinese artifacts,plenty of them were pink and made specifically FOR MEN. The US just assigned the color "pink" to baby girls in hospitals to make it easier to figure out which baby was which and everybody else just "played along" until that way of thinking stuck since they thought "pretty color, therefore it belongs to girls only".
Do not post “beware of dog” signs. That indicates that you know your dog is dangerous and will count against you should your dog actually bite someone for whatever reason. Fencing your yard and prominently displaying no trespassing signs, along with security cameras would be much much better. Video footage doesn’t have a biased opinion.
@ She doesn’t have the money for a lawyer/lawsuit either! Which one do you think would cost her more out of pocket, along with the life of her dog? Some States have a zero tolerance policy for dog bites from breeds deemed “dangerous”. Not to mention the astronomical effect a dog bite lawsuit judgment would have on her homeowners insurance policy! It’s way more than the cost of the fence.
@@motherofdogs27 it..doesn't ....matter Example : I don't have the money for a $300000 Ferrari so I should buy a Porsche for $100000??? How About OP and I don't have money for EITHER? So it's not like ..oh a lawyer is more expensive so she magically now has money for a fence? /s
My father lived through the Great Depression. Wasting food was the fastest way to earn his ire. He would have divorced over the amount of good food OP's wife is throwing away without good reason and never felt a twinge of guilt or remorse. Last story: Where I live, it isn't the dogs trespassers need to worry about. It's the stand-your-ground law that could really ruin their day. OP is NTA.
I have several big dogs and they are very protective. I was told by a vet and former LEO to only put up no trespassing signs and to never put up signs saying beware of dogs. The reason for that is that could be considered that you know you have an aggressive dog and it would be your fault if someone is injured. It's stupid. The state I live in has a 1 bite rule and it doesn't matter why the dog bit. The animal can and probably will be put down and you get a hefty fine. Missouri dog bite rules are ridiculous. It's very difficult to win, even if the dogs are protecting the owner from attacks.
I have godparents that always, always gave me pink shirts. Not to be a choosing beggar I would say thank you and at another time make my opinion of pink well known. It was very well known and they my entire childhood they kept giving me pink. My step mother got a lot of free shirts this way. Anyway, this year, after years of not getting anything (as I am long sonce an adult), they suddenly gave me a RED shirt. But I was on to them. One trip in the laundry and all my whites would be pink. I wore it once but will never wash it.😅
1: Not passing judgement. If the loan and repayment agreement was private/"gentleman's agreement" between the OP's husband and his father with no records to back it up, then hubby does not have a legal reason to say anything regarding the car. A moral responsibility is arguable, but not a legal one if there's no record of it. If the car was titled, the sale/transfer of ownership for the car could be found but the amount and what the late father did with it doesn't have to be disclosed. Either way it sounds like the relationship between the brothers was strained before this and the tension finally snapped. 2: NTA. Just because she's a girl does not require her to like the color pink. Prue is wildly out of line and good on OP for not putting her daughter through Prue's nonsense (and good on OP's sister for giving them a heads up). 3: NTA. He knows OP is estranged/no-contact with her family and is using the "I'd want to get their blessing first" as an excuse to keep her around without fully committing to her. Girl, end it and move on. 4: NTA. Instead of not taking a meal on a day she knew she'd be eating out with her coworkers, she instead takes it just to trash it? She's wasting hundreds of dollars between the trashed food and the meals out. OP needs to separate their finances into separate accounts and get a locking fridge to put his prepped meals into so she can't waste anymore food. If she wants to waste her money, let her. If she decides to fight about it, divorce her. 5: NTA. "They weren't a threat"? Seriously? They trespassed despite being asked to leave, attempted to get near dogs that clearly did not want to be around them, and then were rightfully chased off by a dog protecting her owner and pack. They're lucky that all Bella did was chase them off. OP get cameras and document everything about the neighbors. Contact their landlord about their behaviour towards you. If they trespass again, file a police report.
Meal prep story: If each meal costs roughly 5 dollars to make, her going out 3 days a week and tossing a meal, she is throwing away about 780 dollars a year.
Rottweiler story: NTA. Furthermore, the neighbors didn't just enter without permission, they remained on OP's property after being asked to leave. They weren't in the front yard so they started with trespassing and moved to remaining after forbidden. Both are misdemeanors but still crimes. Sounds like OP needs to put up a fence to keep the neighbors out and also contact local police just to give them a heads up in case of future problems. Not to press charges but to document that the neighbors feel its OK to trespass. I had some rottweilers before and they were absolute sweethearts. One of my neighbors trespassed one day to try to sell me some stolen meat he stole from work (he worked at a bbq place) out of the back of the truck. I told him No solicitations and he said it was a "service". I told him to leave. Instead of leaving, he started to get out of his truck. My largest rottweiler (who was so gentle you could take food out of his mouth without him fighting) charged over and barked at him. I told him "Get back in your truck and go!" He took off and I gave my dogs treats. Anyway, OP should put up No Trespassing signs on top of putting up a fence.
Story 2 reminds me of the story with the parents taking their young kids to disney and the stepgrandma kept obsessing over the daughter and dragged her onto the little mermaid ride, despite being told repeatedly the girl was afraid of Ursula.
The question was should SHE tell them what happened? No she should not tell anything. This really is between the brothers. If she tells when her husband says he isn’t then how will that work out for her? Everyone always says that husbands should stand by their wives this is the same. She needs to get her husband to tell what happened. But she should say nothing.
Older brother asked a simple question, what happened to the car both you and your husband know what happened to the car. If you have proof that you've been paying father in law back everything should be good. But if older brother takes you to court you are going to lose part of the inheritance because even though father in law has passed away your debt to him becomes part of the estate. You and your husband are wrong and you know you are because you're hiding everything that happened from him. If you thought you were doing the right thing you would have outright told him when the father passed
S2 - Since the child is "that way", people need to quit forcing pink on her. However, I am betting some grown-up had something to do with that dislike. Way too young to be passionate about a dislike of a color on her own. There is history behind that dislike.
On the dog, what a privileged bit of advice. If she could afford a fence she wouldn't live in a bad part of town, unable to move away from her creepy neighbors to begin with 🤨
@ I think the issue is that the car’s value should be counted toward the value of the estate, which would get split 50/50. You wouldn’t want to deduct the ENTIRE value of the car, as OP’s husband has paid X dollars toward owning the car. Therefore including the total value would actually be shorting OP’s husband.
@@crawdaddy1234 Indeed. The easiest thing is to just add the outstanding amount to the assets of the estate. So if he paid back $20,000 of a $30,000 loan, the estate is worth the amount of cash plus $10,000. So the estate is 90,000 cash plus 10,000 = 100,000. Divide in 2, and each brother gets $50,000. OP's husband's portion is $40,000 cash + the remaining debt of 10,000 that he can just wipe out because he now owes it to himself. Other brother gets $50,000 cash. That would be an equal settlement.
@@SPJPapasanBecause part of the loan has already been repaid and was in dad’s possession at the time of his death. Also, no, brother would only be entitled to half.
1) the father sold the car before he died, it’s had nothing to do with the brother . Unless the father had previously said the car was supposed to go to the other brother because why else wouldn’t be done in secret
The father sold the car to loan the money to them but the money was being paid back. That means it wasn't a gift. Whatever remains of the loan would likely be owed to the estate and then split between the brothers. John probably isn't saying anything to avoid paying the rest of the loan or having it taken out of his half of the inheritance. But that's just making him look suspicious which is why brother thinks he stole the car.
Story 2: If Cleo has a pink shirt she likes and a pink stuffed animal, this is likely a case of you pushing your likes and dislikes onto your daughter not her "not liking pink". The only thing we know for sure is your daughter does not "hate pink", might not be her favorite color, but definitely does not hate it. Without talking to your daughter we can't know. I am going YTA. It was a birthday celebration for your child, as long as there is cake and presents, she would have been ecstatic.
Dog story - OP, YATI. You want to own large breed dogs that are notoriously hard to control, but no fences? Not even cameras to cover your a$$ in case something happens? Please tell me you have insurance!? Dogs like that usually require a minimum one million policy! Your neighbors are AH’s without a doubt, but they also seem like the type to get bit on purpose and run a scam!
Story 4: ESH, you are both being ridiculous, if she doesn't eat the lunch she brings there is no reason to throw it out, unless there is no fridge at work (as food that sits refrigerated for 8 plus hours becomes a health hazard). And you claiming all the food in your shared fridge is a giant AH move, since she also pays for the food.
![【Apple】Picky husband throws away his wife's meal-prepped dinners [I want fresh food!!]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/xMTJXBWT8HM/mqdefault.jpg)
I don't know why "Dad sold the car" wasn't an immediate response.
The sell and profits will be detailed during the probate. It's not a secret OP and her husband can keep.
He doesn't want to say because he doesn't want to deduct his share of the inheritance so he thinks with him keeping quiet he won't have to pay his dad's estate back & get to keep the full inheritance
@@geminibluethis. This should have been disclosed. The loan should have been disclosed. I'm betting they were paying dad back. When he died, they stopped and kept quiet. They don't want to admit a loan, so they keep 100% of the share.
@@geminiblue - Yup, it's a debt owed to the estate of their late father. They in effect stole the car, by not paying back the money that's owed to the estate. Debts don't necessarily just disappear upon the death of the person to whom they are owed.
It's very clear the want to keep all the money from the car and also get 50% of the rest. Then they tried to excuse this oh we took dad shopping once in a while. Lmao what thiefs
If 3 out of 5 meals I cooked ended up straight in the trash and the ungrateful trash I was cooking for had the audacity to have an attitude about it I’d be gone.
Your wife has no respect for you.
the wife who kept just throwing out the lunches her husband made pissed me off more than I thought she would. I kept waiting for the good reason why she did it and it was...just because she felt like it ....But what really put me over the edge is when OP stopped making her lunches and she had the nerve to get upset about it. If I were her husband I wouldn't be able to look at her the same again.
Especially when she took his food out of spite knowing well that if she wants a lunch she can her own
@@lorilancaster5917 And I bet anything she threw out the stolen lunch.
@@samoanjoseph1457 do you think she really throws them out or maybe she gives them to her “work husband”?
She might have took it at showing he cared rather than actually needing the food. Him not making food in her mind is him not caring anymore. Still her fault though.
@@noneedtoknow07 Her flippant responses after being questioned about throwing out the food and tantrum after he told her he wouldn't be making her lunch anymore should be more than enough clue she didn't care. She was just being selfish, thoughtless, and inconsiderate.
Dog story: I'm suspicious that the neighbors are trying to strip away OP's protection by either getting her dogs used to and accepting their presence in OP's space, or forcing her to get rid of any dogs that won't accept their presence. NTA, but she needs to add more layers of protection. Cameras, locks, defensive training and even defensive arms if OP is comfortable with them and they won't get her in legal difficulty.
They aren't telling him because they don't wanna pay the money back.
Last Story: Anyone else get the feeling that based on this incident, the neighbors are "looking for a reason" to sue? Knowing the breed is already looked negatively upon and that he's protecting his home and owner is a bad sign that they will look for ways to torment or breach boundaries even more so than they already have. I wish OP good luck because she's going to have her hands full with those AHs.
Ugh, 3rd story - my then boyfriend knew I was no contact from my father for many years because the man was a violent and abusive; my bf still went to my father to ask for permission to marry. I was really upset at the time and realise now that he didn’t place any credence on my experiences, feelings or opinions, and what he believed in was more important to him, even to the point of ignoring what hurt me. We’re divorced now.
Story two Prue and her feelings are not your problem, why does Prue care so much about her boyfriend’s grandkids. Tell her to fudge off, tell grandpa to back off too.
Prue wants either a little girl to treat like a doll and dress her up and make her like pink or Cleo wants a do over child.
My ONE question in that story is whether the OP has been coaching her daughter into not liking pink because she herself doesn’t like pink. You know, “make mommy proud and reject the color pink which is stereotypical ‘girl color’”. Hopefully the little girl is free to love any color SHE wants-not to please her pink-hating mother nor her insane pink-obsessed step grandmother!
@stephanien6237 there's no evidence that OP is coaching her to not like pink.
Story 1: YTA and so is your husband. And you're going to face legal action because of it.
I'm actually in a somewhat similar situation, where my parents lent me money when I lost my job so that I could pay off my mortgage and not lose my house.
The difference is, my sisters know about it.
I am still dutifully paying off the money on a monthly basis. But if my mom dies, the will states that everything is to be split equally. This means that whatever amount of money I still owe, let's say $20,000 is going to be in my portion of the estate. So if Mom's estate is 100,000 in cash, it's actually 100,000 cash + 20,000 that I owe for a total of 120,000. And we will be splitting that by 3, so that each of us gets $40,000. My $40,000 will include my $20,000 debt that I will no longer have to pay off, and $20,000 in cash, while my sisters will get $40,000 in cash. And that's fine by me. It is totally fair.
So essentially, by not telling the brother that you owed the father the money, you ARE actually stealing part of his inheritance from him. It would be like my sisters and I splitting the money so that we each got $33,333 in cash and I ALSO got my debt wiped out for a total of $53,333 for me while my sisters only got $33,333.
And speaking of stealing, I expect he'll be asking the police to look for a stolen car. Because whether your husband took the car or not, that's where I'd start looking for a mysteriously missing car.
Last story: op is 100% Nta. The neighbor became a threat as soon as they refused to leave OPs property, her wonderful rottie had every right to run them off.
#3: "I'm no contact with them, and you know it. Cut the bullshit. Propose or break up with me."
Story 1: OP and husband both come off as scummy here, and Bil has good reason to be mad.
If you borrow money from a person that dies you still owe them the money. You owe the estate. You have to pay the money back out of your portion. You would only have to pay back half of what is still owed since their are only two of you. But the Opie and her husband are being shady because they don't want to have to pay the money to the brother. They are trying to steal the money from the bro.
Not how it works
@@KadeStringer2.0 they are responsible for paying back the WHOLE loan, not half. The OP’s husband owed a debt to the father-the loan they were paying back. If they were moral and ethical people, they should contact the executor of the deceased dad’s estate to understand the process for repaying the remaining debt.
Once it is paid back, then the executor of the will can decide to give each brother 50:50 of the total estate that is left.
@@KadeStringer2.0Exactly how it works. I know you’re a troll - I’ve seen plenty of your posts - but you can only troll on things that are opinions, not on things that are facts. It doesn’t work. Do better.
S3 - No law against a woman doing the proposing. OP ought to propose and let his answer be her guide to furthering the relationship. I have a feeling he is using the situation to avoid making it official.
Always gets me when people sulk about not getting proposed to all the time ignoring they can also propose.
3rd Story: Your boyfriend doesn’t want to marry you, he’s just using the family card as an excuse not to marry you🙄
No Lunch Lady: You did the right thing in not preparing meals for your wife anymore. It’s weird that your wife wants you to prepare food that she’ll just end up throwing away😟
#2: NTA. "Dad, your wife is banned from seeing my child anymore. Until she apologizes, I'm no contact with her."
Story 3: OP, Run, what he is saying is "I will force you to bring your family back into your life, no matter what you say. A guy who loves you would not force you to reconnect with your toxic family.
Story 1: YTA as well as your husband. your husband and you have literally everything to do with the missing car. You both need to come clean and register your debt to the estate so it can be handled in probate. Just because FIL died before you paid it back does not mean you do not have to pay that loan off.
He doesn't want to say because he doesn't want to deduct his share of the inheritance so he thinks with him keeping quiet he won't have to pay his dad's estate back & get to keep the full inheritance
@@geminiblue This... And I am willing to bet that car was worth a good chunk of the estate, maybe an old classic worth 100K plus.
If it were just a cheap car there wouldn't be this huge fight.
Also if this goes to court, those fees will come out of the estate not the brother's share, so all OP and her husband are doing is reducing the size of the estate by lying and covering up their debt and the sale.]] And if they are really unlucky the judge may order all the fees be out of her husbands share because he is the one committing fraud.
@@maurer3d It doesn't have to be an old car. It could be a newer car worth around $10,000 to 25,000. Though if it were an old classic, that drastically ups the amount of money missing.
@@jenniferhanses Does it matter how expensive the car was? In the end OP should have told the BIL or even better, OP's husband should have told him as how it stands now, they (OP and husband) both suck!
@@robertx8020 Morally, no, it does not matter.
Proportionally, yes, it can matter.
I mean, do you really make a big stink over your dad's beater truck that he's had since 1977 that is rust held together by rust, or his station car that is old and ugly and its main appeal is that it's reliable and no one wants to steal it at the train station if it's left for 8 to 12 hours every day?
Unless your family is starving, I think most people will let things that are under, say, $3,000 go as just not worth the trouble.
Though I think there'd be more good will toward letting things go if OP's husband just told the truth.
Story #1: YTA! DAMN!! Just tell the truth about the car!
He doesn't want to say because he doesn't want to deduct his share of the inheritance so he thinks with him keeping quiet he won't have to pay his dad's estate back & get to keep the full inheritance
@@geminiblue100% there is no embarrassment, purely greed
@@philwill0123 or maybe making sure they don't become homeless
What a silly secret to keep. There is no upside whatsoever to not telling the brother-in-law. Her husband is an idiot.
As is OP for going along with the deception.
Last story: I think people underestimate the cost of a fence. It should also include surveyor’s fees too.
Right? People are stuggling to freaking eat anymore. Saying to do something that costs thousands of dollars is nuts. Yeah, it sounds great on paper but logistically unrealistic.
Especially since she said she lives in a rural area. Yards out in the countryside are MUCH bigger than those in the city or suburbs. They cost could be tens of thousands of dollars.
Story 4: If it's "no big deal" like the wife says she can start making her own lunch and toss it out, I wouldn't be surprised if the uneaten food stopped getting tossed out then, that or she'll just go out to eat instead.
She should reimburse him for all the wasted money not to mention the slap in the face disrespect to the OP!
This and since 'eating out multiple times a week' isn't cheap they should also split finanses as his wife is stealing (by throwing away food AND eating out) from the household.
Money that could be spend on BOTH ppl
@@robertx8020I usually don’t agree with married couples having strictly separate finances because they are supposed to be a single unit, but in this case, where one spouse is conscientious about money management and one is almost literally throwing away money, it would be advisable. This attitude toward money is really something OP should have known about his wife before marriage. If she is this careless with money it may well carry over into other areas of their lives, and just because you and your spouse choose to separate your finances doesn’t mean the legal system will honor your agreements. He may find himself being forced to pay for her poor financial choices.
The car/loan amount comes out of the inheritance. Period.
Clearly, that’s why he’s not talking. He wants to keep the money and not pay the loan back to the estate.
Story 1: Why not just tell him? Seriously what could possibly be so secret that it can’t be shared? As the car is part of the estate (had it not been sold) brother has a right to wonder where it went. Do they expect him to just never go looking for that money? They’re idiots on top of being AHs.
I think it’s because OP and spouse don’t want to reimburse Mark for half the car. Considering how they are in debt, they likely want to inherit every penny possible.
Becuase it was the father’s car and he can do whatever he want ?
@@ghostdragon5735 brother doesn't know that. He only knows there was a car and now there's not. OP and husband not telling him the truth makes them look suspicious.
@@lorilancaster5917 ??? Why the fuck would they have to reimburse him 50%?? Do you understand how wills and estates work????
They basically stole a vintage car from a sick elderly man
She should get her partner some health insurance he is going to need.
If the car was sold before the dad passed away, then it cannot be part of the estate. Older brother has no legal claim on the car.
Then why are they being so shady about it then?
I think there is alot more to it.
@@juliearmfield2634I’m thinking that too or else why not come clean?
@@juliearmfield2634 Exactly, OP and the husband should have just told the brother. Seriously, that's all they needed to do. I also wonder how much this "loan" was, and if that would significantly shift the distribution of estate. If the loan was 50k and the estate is overall 250k the split would be 125k without the loan but should be 100 k / 150k taking the loan into account. I also don't doubt that this loan didn't have a legal contract tied to it, so for OP and the husband that loan will "disappear" as long as they don't talk about it to the brother.
It most certainly can. Debts to the estate are still a thing.
@@patrickdix772 if anything they will have to add legal fees to their debts since Mark plans on taking them to court over the car.
I hate pink. My daughter loves it. I don't restrict her love of pink; in fact, I encourage it. As long as it makes her happy, I remind myself that it's just a color and she may grow to hate it eventually. I mean, she is 4.
Those neighbors are sus af. They want something from op and her dog is getting in their way. She needs to watch out for them.
S1: You and your husband done wrong and you know it. That's why you never told John. Just pay the money to the brother through your husband's half of his inheritance
The car was given before the will, John doesn’t have a claim to stand on
@@jakealter5504 if it was given as a loan they were repaying then brother might be entitled to half the remainder of the loan.
@@jakealter5504 if it was a loan they were paying back the brother might be entitled to half the remainder of the loan
@@jakealter5504 he might have a claim if he says the debt is owed to the father's estate & OP's husband will have to pay the estate back
@@jakealter5504it was a loan where they were repaying the dad, not a gift. A loan formerly owed to the dad is now a debt to the estate. OP and husband have to tell the executor and can be sued
Story 5: NTA. They were trespassing. No idea what the laws are in OP's area of residence. The fence commenter is defective. The neighbors TRESPASSED.
And were told by OP to get off her property repeatedly
I'm agreeing that they were completely in the wrong and trespassing but the fence advice is still sound. I wouldn't trust these entitled jerks to not pull this again.
@@Rukiah1and it would be an added bonus that they can’t leer at her if she gets a wooden privacy fence
@@Rukiah1 no it's not
@@GiordanDiodato why wouldn't you get a fence when you have neighbors who disregard you telling them to get off your property?
#4: "I will no longer make you lunch if you are just going to toss it away. You are wasting _thousands."_
These are the same people who are *baffled* as to why they're constantly broke.
Mark & executor both need to know where all the $ is & when it will be paid back. Call the executor, your hubby is a LIAR
Omission of FACTS are lies. Registration of the car & date can be easily found out.
He is forcing you to do something w estranged family. He is not the right person for you. Did he state "I must meet your family before engagement"??? They will not be at the wedding either. Say fu, bye.
Joke arguments? He does nasty jokes & thinks you should laugh too? Stop feeding her. Add up the cost of wasted food. Watch bank card to see when she goes out to eat.
Put up posted or private property signs. File a complaint w the cops. Get it on record.
Story #4: NTA!! Where I live eggs are $5.00 a dozen!! Food is too expensive to throw away!! I wouldn't make her anything else either! Buy a smaller refrigerator to put your meals in and padlock it!!
And take money from her account whenever she steals and trashes your food if she gets a hold of any. I’m curious about the income dynamic in the household
@@lorilancaster5917 It might be (from the OP's wife's POV "what yours is mine and what's mine is mine too"
Consult a lawyer before putting up a sign Guard Dog on Duty because that could be an admission that you think the dog is dangerous. It gets crazy with what one can and can't do when it comes to liability.
Op needs to be careful with the guard dog sign as some places consider that the owner is taking responsibility for an aggressive dog.
“ But we were there for him, brother only saw him every three months, the loan was a private matter. ” Yeah, John ( not his real name ) is trying to pull a fast one.
Story 1: Let's see... solve the issue with one sentence... or keep secrets for no reason, to the point it leads to blows abd is twaring your brotherly bond apart.
Of course YTA
Story 1 - YTA. Don't be shocked if Mark tells the police OP and John STOLE the car.
Story 3: This repeated indistance by some people ti force unwanted reconciliations boggles my mind. What kind of defect causes this crap???
The same people that believe "The Magic of Christmas" will fix anything.
Someone who wants to play Hallmark Hero at the expense of the person they supposedly love. Even if he does propose without a blessing, I can’t see the matter dropped.
People who have never experienced actual abuse cannot understand or believe.
I actually think he doesn’t care a bit about meeting her family. He doesn’t want to marry her and he’s using this to stall. Either way he’s TA.
Story 4: Wow. What an inconsiderate B. NTA.
Story 2: OP is not the A-hole. Prue is a HUGE A-HOLE for pushing something someone doesn't like on them. Tell Dad he needs to stop this behavior from his girlfriend if he wants a relationship with his granddaughter.
Not only that, but the other child, a boy, whose birthday party is closer to the time the party was ‘planed’. So they want a second birthday for the girl but the other kids will be subjected to it. Not only is Prue forcing what she wants for the 5ye old she’s going to possibly cause a jealousy rift between the siblings
Or the rest of his grandkids for that matter. How soon would Prue disregard the other kids feelings?
I think Prue is pushing back because MOM admits she doesn’t like pink, so Prue thinks she’s doing the child a favor by ALLOWING her to like pink. I get it, but by this time, mom’s anti-pink stance has rubbed off on the child, and a BARBIE party isn’t going to solve it. My mother hated pink, and always dressed me in NAVY blue, yes, I’m a girl. Guess which color I wouldn’t be caught DEAD in? Yeah; navy. Parental preferences aren’t necessarily the child’s preferences.
@@kitkakittehthe child does have some pink items so her anti pink stance isn’t that strong. Pink is just not her favorite color and Prue pushing this color may be what’s causing further disdain
@@kitkakitteh I love pink. It is one of my two favorite colors. Guess what? My daughter also likes pink and purple like me. She always chose purple things, so I thought I'd sacrifice my love of purple so my daughter could have all things purple in our house. So pink things were mine and purple things were hers. When she got her own place, she bought pink things. That's when I learned she loved pink just as much as I did. I didn't make her like those colors. She is very contrary to me on most things, except our favorite colors. So maybe OP knows her child and is advocating for her genuine dislike of pink. Hard for me to imagine not liking pink, but it's possible and I'm fine with it. More pink for me.
As a dog owner, the neighbors were idiots for even entering your yard. Ah, wah, I'm wasn't a threat. Um next time tell the dogs. They didn't get the memo, lol. If the dogs don't know you they don't know if you're a threat or not. I have a 126lb dog, Kangul. She's somewhat friendly but people still feel like, oh she's so cute and try to pet her. She'll look at me and I ask them to please not pet her and I'll get the, oh it's ok. This really pisses me of so, I loosen the leash and she'll either lung at them or growl. Then and only then they'll get the point. Some, you need to train her better. No you need to respect our space.
If the boyfriend really is making meeting her family a requirement, he seems pretty naive. My boyfriend's father and his side of the family don't even know I exist. I trust my boyfriend when he tells me it would not go over well.
Story two: you are TA for allowing your father talk about your own child like that. Prue is just controlling and Dad is an idiot.
Last Story: NTA!! Please watch out for food that may get dropped over your side of the fence. My friend's hateful neighbor poisoned her dog with antifreeze.
Proposal story: It sounds like John has this script in his head of how things should be and is entirely incapable of mentally moving past that. Must propose - Must get her family's blessing first - Error 404: Family not found - Must get family's blessing...
Or it could be an excuse.
Pink Prue story: OP's dad legit sold his soul to a "Demon in the Sack". 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝
4:47 Yeeeeeeeeeaah,Prue is throwing this party for herself,not Cleo
Prue is just selfish and childish. And Cleo IS a child, what's Prue's excuse?
3rd story: propose yourself. Bust your butt, buy him a super expensive piece of jewelry to his taste, spend a boatload on an experience, and propose. Or shut up. It's 2025; you want marriage, YOU do the labor.
So your hubby should have registered his debt to his dad with the estate. Then the estate be split in half, your hubby cheated his bro out of half of a classic car. Half could have been a little or a lot I.e. anywhere for 10k to 50k. Yta
Prepped lunch story: oh boy, as a man how loves to cook and does the same thing, I would be furious at my wife for doing this. 3 or 4 times a week? That's a lot of wasted food and money. Heck Op could save money by eating it himself the next day. Yeah, I'd do the same as Op, don't make a damn thing and when she'd get mad tell her, go look in the trash for your lunch because, that's how much you think of my efforts in doing something nice for you.
She wasn't throwing away lunches, that's stupid and doesn't make sense. But she sure as hell is giving them to someone at work...
That sounds plausible. I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that she's throwing lunches out for the fun of it and wasting money.
I mean, in today's world, only someone who has no financial intelligence would enjoy dropping $45 +/- for lunch per week.
To top it off she's bringing the food in containers and "throwing out" the containers too
If the BF proposed without meeting the abusive parents, there's a better than even chance they would show up at the wedding, courtesy of the groom.
Story #3: He's stalling! Dump the chump!! NTA!!
Story 5: OP YTA,,, To yourself. What you are describing is harassment and Tresspassing. You told them to leave and they didn't. Call the local police directly and file a complaint, the if they do it again call the emergency line and have them arrested.
S2: Now that would be something if Dad’s marriage ended because his wife kept pushing pink on the step-granddaughter.
Last story: don't your dogs ever just go outside and play?
Poor dogs probably stay all day and night in those awful cages Americans love so much. She doesn't even take them for walks. My dogs always enjoyed the freedom of the backyard and still we went for walks in the evening when I got home from work. Dogs need to smell and meet.
Story 1 they won’t say anything cause there’s more to the story than they’re willing to say. My guess they were in some legal trouble
I wouldn't be surprised if they had "borrowed" money for years with no paper trail and thus pilfered a large part of the estate
Story 2: NTA. Prue is doing the classic "What you resist,persists". Prue is so focused on someone not liking one color that they pushed it onto someone that said person just despises the color even more because Prue refuses to respect basic boundaries.
Prue is acting like someone no one wants to be friends with and that's her own fault
So no one is questioning why the DAD sold the car without the other don knowing??
John doesn’t have the car BUT JOHN KNOWS WHY THE CAR IS GONE! John is acting shady!
Proposal story- your boyfriend won’t propose unless he can meet and ask your estranged toxic family first? WHY DO YOU STILL want to marry a guy this dumb or this toxic?
FOOD PREP- throw out my food casually? Buy your own- MAKE YOUR OWN!
Neighbor story- trespassing trashy neighbors complain! You live in a bad neighborhood from the sound.
Story 1: So…Op and her husband did something without telling anyone, are now acting shady and refusing to reveal the truth…and are not offended that people think they did something shady…
Of course YTA Op what is wrong with you…?
Story1: ETA, but just say he sold the car. Like on one hand I get it, this was something between you guys and the father and was a consensual act, on the other hand the brothers are fighting. The brother is an idiot for assuming the worst, yes OP and her husband are keeping a secret, but it's not a bad secret, the car wasn't stolen, the dad sold it of his own choice.
Seems that op and hubby just have a bit too much pride to tell the truth. That's just stupid, in my book.
They are thiefs. Sounds like they pressured old man to sell thr car and give loan to them. Why else he needed to secretly sell the car?
It IS bad as the loan is part of the inheritence and therefor hiding it is theft!
@ They could be keeping it a secret because of pride. They are not thieves, the father willingly sold the car of his own choice and gave them the money. From what the story tells us, nothing says they pressured him into it, it sounds like they had a closer bond with him as they often visited.
If the old man had a stronger relationship with his other son, he would not have left him without the details of the car and probably would have given him more money.
@ It's not theft. I'm starting to think a lot of you don't know what theft really is.
Rottie story: NTA, and A POX on that redditor who said "NTA on paper", wtf *no*! No no no no, it is OP's property and Bella knows it, end of! Dogs can tell good people from bad and will protect their owner and property, especially working breed dogs, one of which is the Rottweiler! Bella is a good and very well-trained pupper. If OP can't do a fence, Bella will do, and the neighbors need to know they cannot trespass!
Yup. Bella could tell that her owner is afraid of these people, and acted accordingly.
Throwing away food 😮 😡
"it's not a big deal."
It is a big deal TO OP.
Your boyfriend doesn't want to get married. Haven't you figured that out? Since they abused you and he knows you won't take him m to meet them. You should end this relationship. And walk away. I feel sorry for you for wasting time on her m.
#1: 100% YTA.
Why would you NOT tell Mark the truth?
S1. The father sold the car before he died. It has nothing to do with the brother.
S2. NTA. Why do little girls have to like pink. I am a 60 year old woman who has never liked pink. To push that on a child is plain crazy.
S3. OP, he does not want to marry you. He knows how you are estranged from your family and is using it as an excuse. Go find your own place and find someone who truly wants to marry you.
S1 Since the car is left to the brother in the will, he has every right to know what happened to it. Why doesn't OP and hubby just tell them.?
Story 2: Indeed,NTA. Plus, if you look at ancient Chinese artifacts,plenty of them were pink and made specifically FOR MEN. The US just assigned the color "pink" to baby girls in hospitals to make it easier to figure out which baby was which and everybody else just "played along" until that way of thinking stuck since they thought "pretty color, therefore it belongs to girls only".
Story 1- you are wrong stellamccoy5259. It's a loan owed to father now owed to the estate. Half that loan is owed to mark
Do not post “beware of dog” signs. That indicates that you know your dog is dangerous and will count against you should your dog actually bite someone for whatever reason. Fencing your yard and prominently displaying no trespassing signs, along with security cameras would be much much better. Video footage doesn’t have a biased opinion.
OP doesn'r have the money to fence her yard in!
Why not suggest she hires some security ppl /s
@ She doesn’t have the money for a lawyer/lawsuit either! Which one do you think would cost her more out of pocket, along with the life of her dog? Some States have a zero tolerance policy for dog bites from breeds deemed “dangerous”. Not to mention the astronomical effect a dog bite lawsuit judgment would have on her homeowners insurance policy! It’s way more than the cost of the fence.
@@motherofdogs27 it..doesn't ....matter
Example : I don't have the money for a $300000 Ferrari so I should buy a Porsche for $100000???
How About OP and I don't have money for EITHER?
So it's not like ..oh a lawyer is more expensive so she magically now has money for a fence? /s
My father lived through the Great Depression. Wasting food was the fastest way to earn his ire. He would have divorced over the amount of good food OP's wife is throwing away without good reason and never felt a twinge of guilt or remorse.
Last story: Where I live, it isn't the dogs trespassers need to worry about. It's the stand-your-ground law that could really ruin their day. OP is NTA.
I have several big dogs and they are very protective. I was told by a vet and former LEO to only put up no trespassing signs and to never put up signs saying beware of dogs. The reason for that is that could be considered that you know you have an aggressive dog and it would be your fault if someone is injured. It's stupid. The state I live in has a 1 bite rule and it doesn't matter why the dog bit. The animal can and probably will be put down and you get a hefty fine. Missouri dog bite rules are ridiculous. It's very difficult to win, even if the dogs are protecting the owner from attacks.
That is a very strange law
But I now some countries where, if you harm a burglar, you might end up in jail yourself ..laws can be stupid!
Thank you. This is good info to know.
I have godparents that always, always gave me pink shirts. Not to be a choosing beggar I would say thank you and at another time make my opinion of pink well known. It was very well known and they my entire childhood they kept giving me pink. My step mother got a lot of free shirts this way.
Anyway, this year, after years of not getting anything (as I am long sonce an adult), they suddenly gave me a RED shirt. But I was on to them. One trip in the laundry and all my whites would be pink. I wore it once but will never wash it.😅
Hah!
How can OP return a car they don't have??? OP's husband should come clean and adjust inheritance accordingly.
How can OP remain silent about the "fate" of the car? She and hubby know what happened but refuse to disclose this.
What does a compromise on what color you dislike look like?
Ir seems that is for the daughter to give in 100% and the stepmother to get her way 100% /s
He doesn't plan on proposing. If you meet the family, he'll just move the goalpost.
1: Not passing judgement. If the loan and repayment agreement was private/"gentleman's agreement" between the OP's husband and his father with no records to back it up, then hubby does not have a legal reason to say anything regarding the car. A moral responsibility is arguable, but not a legal one if there's no record of it. If the car was titled, the sale/transfer of ownership for the car could be found but the amount and what the late father did with it doesn't have to be disclosed. Either way it sounds like the relationship between the brothers was strained before this and the tension finally snapped.
2: NTA. Just because she's a girl does not require her to like the color pink. Prue is wildly out of line and good on OP for not putting her daughter through Prue's nonsense (and good on OP's sister for giving them a heads up).
3: NTA. He knows OP is estranged/no-contact with her family and is using the "I'd want to get their blessing first" as an excuse to keep her around without fully committing to her. Girl, end it and move on.
4: NTA. Instead of not taking a meal on a day she knew she'd be eating out with her coworkers, she instead takes it just to trash it? She's wasting hundreds of dollars between the trashed food and the meals out. OP needs to separate their finances into separate accounts and get a locking fridge to put his prepped meals into so she can't waste anymore food. If she wants to waste her money, let her. If she decides to fight about it, divorce her.
5: NTA. "They weren't a threat"? Seriously? They trespassed despite being asked to leave, attempted to get near dogs that clearly did not want to be around them, and then were rightfully chased off by a dog protecting her owner and pack. They're lucky that all Bella did was chase them off. OP get cameras and document everything about the neighbors. Contact their landlord about their behaviour towards you. If they trespass again, file a police report.
Meal prep story: If each meal costs roughly 5 dollars to make, her going out 3 days a week and tossing a meal, she is throwing away about 780 dollars a year.
Rottweiler story: NTA. Furthermore, the neighbors didn't just enter without permission, they remained on OP's property after being asked to leave. They weren't in the front yard so they started with trespassing and moved to remaining after forbidden. Both are misdemeanors but still crimes. Sounds like OP needs to put up a fence to keep the neighbors out and also contact local police just to give them a heads up in case of future problems. Not to press charges but to document that the neighbors feel its OK to trespass.
I had some rottweilers before and they were absolute sweethearts. One of my neighbors trespassed one day to try to sell me some stolen meat he stole from work (he worked at a bbq place) out of the back of the truck. I told him No solicitations and he said it was a "service". I told him to leave. Instead of leaving, he started to get out of his truck. My largest rottweiler (who was so gentle you could take food out of his mouth without him fighting) charged over and barked at him. I told him "Get back in your truck and go!" He took off and I gave my dogs treats. Anyway, OP should put up No Trespassing signs on top of putting up a fence.
Story 2 reminds me of the story with the parents taking their young kids to disney and the stepgrandma kept obsessing over the daughter and dragged her onto the little mermaid ride, despite being told repeatedly the girl was afraid of Ursula.
The question was should SHE tell them what happened? No she should not tell anything. This really is between the brothers. If she tells when her husband says he isn’t then how will that work out for her? Everyone always says that husbands should stand by their wives this is the same. She needs to get her husband to tell what happened. But she should say nothing.
Older brother asked a simple question, what happened to the car both you and your husband know what happened to the car. If you have proof that you've been paying father in law back everything should be good. But if older brother takes you to court you are going to lose part of the inheritance because even though father in law has passed away your debt to him becomes part of the estate. You and your husband are wrong and you know you are because you're hiding everything that happened from him. If you thought you were doing the right thing you would have outright told him when the father passed
S2 - Since the child is "that way", people need to quit forcing pink on her. However, I am betting some grown-up had something to do with that dislike. Way too young to be passionate about a dislike of a color on her own. There is history behind that dislike.
Says who?
A lawyer or mediator could help keep the secrets and get the loan repaid correctly.
7:42 - Run, OP. This is an excuse to never propose to you. If he loved you, he wouldn't be pushing for this. You're wasting your time. NTA
On the dog, what a privileged bit of advice. If she could afford a fence she wouldn't live in a bad part of town, unable to move away from her creepy neighbors to begin with 🤨
1:33 - Why not just deduct the remaining amount of the loan from the willed amount?
Why not deduct the FULL amount, since this is what the brother is entitled to if he had the car.
@ I think the issue is that the car’s value should be counted toward the value of the estate, which would get split 50/50. You wouldn’t want to deduct the ENTIRE value of the car, as OP’s husband has paid X dollars toward owning the car. Therefore including the total value would actually be shorting OP’s husband.
@@crawdaddy1234 Indeed. The easiest thing is to just add the outstanding amount to the assets of the estate. So if he paid back $20,000 of a $30,000 loan, the estate is worth the amount of cash plus $10,000. So the estate is 90,000 cash plus 10,000 = 100,000. Divide in 2, and each brother gets $50,000. OP's husband's portion is $40,000 cash + the remaining debt of 10,000 that he can just wipe out because he now owes it to himself. Other brother gets $50,000 cash.
That would be an equal settlement.
@@SPJPapasanBecause part of the loan has already been repaid and was in dad’s possession at the time of his death. Also, no, brother would only be entitled to half.
John didn't sell the car the dad did.
1) the father sold the car before he died, it’s had nothing to do with the brother . Unless the father had previously said the car was supposed to go to the other brother because why else wouldn’t be done in secret
The father sold the car to loan the money to them but the money was being paid back. That means it wasn't a gift. Whatever remains of the loan would likely be owed to the estate and then split between the brothers. John probably isn't saying anything to avoid paying the rest of the loan or having it taken out of his half of the inheritance. But that's just making him look suspicious which is why brother thinks he stole the car.
@@Rukiah1Yes! I don’t know why so many commenters have a problem grasping this!
first story, pink is my favorite color but I don't want everything pink, in fact I don't really buy anything pink.
Story 2: If Cleo has a pink shirt she likes and a pink stuffed animal, this is likely a case of you pushing your likes and dislikes onto your daughter not her "not liking pink". The only thing we know for sure is your daughter does not "hate pink", might not be her favorite color, but definitely does not hate it. Without talking to your daughter we can't know.
I am going YTA. It was a birthday celebration for your child, as long as there is cake and presents, she would have been ecstatic.
666th like😂 dang, don't change it!! 😂😂
Nta. Stop feeding her
Nta. Prue can stay angry
Hi XO
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Story 1: NTA and op did nothing wrong
Story #2: NTA but you didn't have to throw your sister under the bus!
Dog story - OP, YATI.
You want to own large breed dogs that are notoriously hard to control, but no fences? Not even cameras to cover your a$$ in case something happens?
Please tell me you have insurance!? Dogs like that usually require a minimum one million policy!
Your neighbors are AH’s without a doubt, but they also seem like the type to get bit on purpose and run a scam!
It seems OP can control her dogs just fine
Story 4: ESH, you are both being ridiculous, if she doesn't eat the lunch she brings there is no reason to throw it out, unless there is no fridge at work (as food that sits refrigerated for 8 plus hours becomes a health hazard). And you claiming all the food in your shared fridge is a giant AH move, since she also pays for the food.
I bet “prue” has a trans step grandchild 🤣
She could just be a tomboy. Besides, pink was a boy color for a long time, so its status as a girl color is arbitrary.